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Who stands to benefit most from this book information... Business owners, Ceo's, Executive Management? Let them teach these principles to their people. Sales Managers? Every sales person should have a copy of this in their brief case. It will assist them in developing the selling mindset. Customer Service? Absolutely. We deal with customers every day. We are always solving problems and getting paid for it. We should all be great at this stuff. Professional Service Providers (CPAs Lawyers, Consultants, Doctors, Engineers, Home-Based Businesses)? They sell intellectual capital every day, too.
It is only logical that we would want to know how to do it better, thereby helping our clients and employers get more value out of their relationship with us?
So Lets Talk About Income Definition of Income: monetary or other returns, either earned or unearned, accruing over a given period of time- in other words Income is the Universe's financial manifestation of the value you bring to people. When ones income is dependent upon sales or performance, then generally our clients and customers have impact on our income. When we are participating in a staff support scheme, then our customers are the people inside our business who rely on us for our value. It doesn't matter which group we are in,we can increase our income by doing certain things that most people are not willing,or capable, of doing. And that's what this information is all about. As you read through these tips, some will appear to be only for sales people. Many are. After all we are all salespeople in life – everyday. When you give this idea some consideration you will find that really we are all salespeople- every single day. Even children- the greatest sales people of all, are sales people- we only have to look at the sales skills they are capable of to convince mum or dad that they want something- they never give up – their passion, their desire, their determination, their process for convincing, arguing – the list goes on and on- UNTIL THEY GET WHAT THEY WANT. So these tips are for everyone most of them are universal regardless of our position in the market.
Two processes… There are two processes involved in increasing income—the Inner process (Inner) which governs our thoughts, your self-confidence, and our self-image; and the Market process (or Outer) which governs our activity and communication with people. 3
These two processes work together to give us the highest chance of success. Thoughts produce action. Action produce results. So when we want to change our results we simply have to change our thoughts and act in accordance to our new way of thinking. One more important factor- Income has been falling in the few years. “An ACTU analysis recently shows that the award wages for more than a million low paid workers have gone backwards by up to $15.67 a week — or $814 a year — in real terms. The analysis shows that the pay rise that workers reliant on award minimum wages got does not meet increases in the cost of living. Interest rates and rents are going up, petrol is up, food and other basics are all going up but the living standards of working families are going backwards .” So, people are earning less and it is about time to change this trend. We would much rather focus on – generating income-earning. Conservatively, if we increase our income 10% per year over 5 years instead of 5%, by implementing these tips, then we have earned an extra $15,000 (including interest). We know we can do much better than 10%.
The best Way to Use this Information There are 50 tips in this book. We suggest over the course of a year, one can work on one of these per week. So we suggest Print this out and read it cover to cover. Make plenty of notes. Cross out those tips that don’t apply to you. It does not matter how many tips one ends up with the ones that do apply can, with practice, have a huge impact on a persons income and wealth. Some of these tips are actionable--and some are ‘simply for consideration.’ That means they are ways of thinking about oneself or their market that will lead to change in actions. They aren't actions themselves. The results we get are a function of action. And the actions we take are a function of thought. So if we want to change results, we have to change our thoughts about the actions we take. Then, we can make lasting change in our lives.
PART ONE: THE INNER The Inner process ( Inner) governs our thoughts, our self-confidence, and our selfimage;
TIP NO 1. Find a new way of defining the Meaning of Incomedefining money When we believe in the definition of income being "as the Universe's financial manifestation of the value you bring to the market" then we there is no point of argument with the fact that making 4
more money is good for the planet and everyone around you. Making more money is good for people generally. We live in a society that conditions us to think in SCARCITY-Scarcity thinking has it that when I make more, there's less for someone else or" I don't have enough, there is not enough to go around and so on. That is zero-sum thinking and will sabotage our efforts. I know most of us intellectually know that zero-sum thinking doesn't hold water, but for many of us, we have this voice on our shoulder that tells us differently has us doubting. Making more money implies that we have brought more value, which has helped everyone-our customers, our company, and our family. When we make more money in the workplace because we have generated ideas that bring more value to the business, then we increase our value to the organisation and hence generally we are able to generate more income. When we tithe, the increase in income helps the charity, community and the people it serves. The chain is endless. There is no downside to increasing income UNLESS it is engineered from a place of extortion, which of we don't indulge in.
CONCLUSION: THINK ABUNDANTLY- THERE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH TO GO AROUND GENERATING OR MAKING MORE MONEY IS HEALTHY, WHOLESOME AND FUN
TIP NO 2 Do the Important Stuff first- work on yourself and get your self right Do the stuff that you know will pay you or bring you more money. Your mind creates ideas and ideas are a currency. You are an idea machine. We bring value with the ideas that we have and implement. When your mind- your thoughts are right then everything else follows suit. The currency of today's economy is rooted in ideas and intellectual capital. But the idea doesn't have to be a major,life saving one. It can be a little one that will save your business $35,000/year-or one that will attract 10 new customers to the business. To present your ideas is to solve problems or open up opportunities, both “musts” for value. But when you present your idea to someone, do it with grace and elegance. Write it down. Draw a picture of it. Don’t just “mention” it to someone at a cocktail party. It won’t fly that way. Think through it and put it on a white board and have some fanfare around the presentation of it. The great idea people are not just those that have the ideas, but those that can present them and get acceptance for them—and of course, get paid for them. So, set your mind and attitude right and then-make the critical calls and work on the larger proposals first. Tackle the most critical projects early, before the inevitable little daily annoyances begin chipping away at you.
TIP NO 3 Be Confident and Sure of yourself Remember, your business will only run as well as you do. When you are energetic, enthusiastic and treat all your people and that includes your customers ,with integrity, respect and consideration then you can expect the same in return. You business will thrive. However, if you chose to spend your time finding fault and creating problems then you will get that in return as wellalways know that the choice is yours- you can either feel in the dumps, carry the world on your shoulders or you can embrace all of lifeâ€™s little ( sometimes big) challenges. The way you CHOOSE to approach each day is up to you and your business will always reflect this.
TIP NO 4 Accept yourself People should remember that everyone is unique and beauty is to be found in every human being. Yes, other people can be better in doing certain things but this fact shouldn't hinder people from being the best that they can be. Everybody is special and unique. A person's true worth cannot be seen in only one dimension of his life. For example, people usually envy the rich, thinking that they have everything and thus they are the happiest people in the world. However, the best things in life can never be bought by money. Stories of unhappiness among the rich are everywhere around us and this is a sign that wealth cannot be equated with happiness.
TIP NO 5 Self-Appreciation Accepting oneself is different from appreciating oneself. Self-acceptance is a pre-requisite to selfappreciation but the latter must always be present. One might accept oneself under a pessimistic light and this is not very healthy. "I accept that I cannot do the things that I really want to do because I am weak" is a sample statement which depicts an unhealthy self-acceptance. Appreciating oneself under a positive light is a definite confidence and self-esteem booster. One must highlight the good things about themselves and try to reinforce them and be better at those things.
TIP NO 6 Refrain from Comparing Low self-esteem can be brought on by the environment. Again, this can be traced to the lack of self-acceptance. Everybody is different and you have qualities that no other person has. A general sense of self-worth should be built without comparing oneself to other people.
TIP NO 7 Don't Put Yourself Down Nobody's perfect. Making a mistake is definitely normal and people should start accepting this fact. People with low self-esteem tend to put themselves even lower by continuously and harshly putting themselves down. An inner voice which reverberates inside their heads tells them that there is no hope. This should not be the case and having control over the inner voices can be the solution for this problem. Cut yourself some slack, you've done your best and that's what's important.
TIP NO 8 Befriend Positive People Having friends who are positive towards dealing with life's challenges can influence someone into seeing life in the same light and eventually build their self-esteem.
TIP NO 9 Remind Yourself of the Positive Things About You 6
Again, there is beauty in everyone. Remember all the things that you like about yourself and the good things which you have done and make a list of the most striking ones. This will help in self-appreciation and definitely give you something to smile about.
TIP NO 11 Use tools Buying books, CDâ€™s DVDâ€™s and other materials about building self-esteem wouldn't hurt, would it? Neither would engaging a business or life coach, attending workshops, seminars and training. These things definitely provide some informative ways on how to deal with low self-esteem and joining the Academy Sales Marketing and Business Management is one way of tapping all these tools. However, buying these materials would be useless if the lessons which they give wouldn't be applied in real life.
TIP NO 12 Engage in Fun Activities Having fun once in a while releases stress, takes the negative ideas out of one's head and leaves space for positive thoughts to fill in. Having fun makes one feel happy about oneself.
TIP NO 13 Hangout with Friends Having fun can be done privately but nothing beats fun with friends. Friends are usually a part of the primary support group of a person and can provide much needed conversations for a down-andout person
TIP NO 14 Build your Self Esteem - How Does One Get Self Esteem? Some people will live their entire lives having extremely low self-esteem. They will never get to feel the joy that a healthy self-esteem gives. How does one get self-esteem, or at least try to get it back? Self-esteem is one's own view of themselves. It highlights the beauty of the person in the context of the world. Self-esteem is not seeing oneself as the best person in the whole world it is a mere appreciation of the self as it is. A healthy self-esteem is not characterized by overflowing overconfidence nor is it the lack of it. What are the signs of a healthy self-esteem? People with a healthy self-esteem are people who view themselves as unique yet beautiful. Having a healthy self-esteem will make a person take the notions of the world regarding what's beautiful or what's not in a good light. They take them into consideration but the ultimate basis for their view is their own belief. A person may not be as good-looking or as talented as other people but they can be as happy as they make up their mind to be.
TIP NO 15 Learn to let go Let go of mistakes and move on. Leave the negative things behind and bring the lessons along the journey. If one dwells on a mistake too much, it would eventually burn every ounce of self-esteem left in them.
TIP NO 16 Teach your inner voice The inner voice is the small voice inside your head which usually lowers one's self-esteem by dwelling on ones faults and weaknesses. Speak to yourself in a positive tone. Always use positive 7
remarks and try to leave out the destructive criticisms. Finding self-esteem is not an easy thing to do. It is a task which cannot be done by anybody else but you. No amount of external intervention can influence someone who doesn't want self-esteem. Having self-esteem is a conscious choice. It can be the hardest thing to do but it can also be the easiest.
TIP NO 17 No need to prove oneself to others People with healthy self-esteem need not to prove themselves to other people just to find self-worth and to feel accepted. People with low self-esteem tend to be restless in doing things in an effort to impress others. They equate success with self-worth and finding true happiness. There is more to life than getting a perfect score, shooting every basket and beating everybody else. Having a healthy self-esteem may not necessarily equate to being happy. It is also possible that a person with a healthy self-esteem is unsatisfied with certain circumstances in his life and this makes them unhappy with the whole picture of their life. However, having a healthy self-esteem is a pre-requisite to having true happiness. If one owns the world and lives the life of a king but views oneself as a pathetic loser, do you think that person will find happiness from all the material wealth obtained? It is more possible that his material wealth will aggravate their personal insecurities. Being unafraid of committing mistakes is a sign of self-acceptance, with an emphasis on one's weaknesses. This is an important part of self-acceptance and self-appreciation.
TIP NO 18 Accept mistakes and learn from them- allow yourself to make them Another healthy sign of a healthy self-esteem is the acceptance of one's mistakes and learning from them. A person with a low self-esteem would blame and put themselves down continuously for the mistakes they have committed. This is a very unhealthy practice indeed. There are a lot of factors to consider when making mistakes. Most of the time, these mistakes are brought about by consequences around us. Learning to accept mistakes and learning to learn from them is a first step towards loving yourself.
TIP NO 19 Get yourself the Right Attitude -Self Esteem is all about Attitude "Self-esteem" as depicted by the word itself, refers to one's views about themselves and their place in the whole scheme that is life. Self-esteem is closely related to the concepts of self-worth and competence. Self-worth is all about seeing oneself in the whole context of reality, keeping in mind the basic human values. Competence refers to one's conviction on the belief that they can achieve things. These two concepts always go hand-in-hand with each other to be able to develop a healthy sense of selfesteem. A sense of worthiness prevents competence from becoming arrogance by reminding the person of the basic human values that should be achieved. Competence prevents worthiness of becoming narcissism by reminding the person that good feelings are earned and not explicitly given. Self-esteem is all about attitude. It is an attitude towards seeing oneself, one's potentials and the challenge of actualizing these potentials. 8
TIP NO 20 Get a Good Attitude Toward Yourself Having a good attitude towards oneself is the basic foundation of a healthy self-esteem. One must have the confidence to be able to perform and this is founded through a good view of oneself. We should always remember that everybody is different. Being different isn't necessarily bad, if one finds the uniqueness in oneself. Everybody has a unique set of traits that sets them apart from the rest of the world. Low self-esteem can result from having a negative view of this uniqueness. This can later be followed by envy of people who are better in certain things. "Is there something wrong with me?" "Why did I lose?" These are some questions that result from self-doubting. Low self-esteem can lead to underachieving. It is a condition wherein a person's performance falls short of their potential. The potential of underachievers are then put into waste. Underachievers tend to ultimately stop trying because of the belief that they are not capable of doing things. This can be a very dangerous situation since it will affect a person's mental, physical, social and spiritual conditions. Self-acceptance and self-appreciation are the keys towards building self-esteem. A person needs to be able to see their qualities and accept themselves for whom they are. They take into consideration their strengths and weaknesses and build on those strengths and overcome their weaknesses. A chubby person doesn't have to resort to diets which would eventually be detrimental to his health. A kid should not take drastic measures in reviewing for a test just to get a high score. A single aspect of one's life should not be equated to their total attributes as a person. The Self in the Context of the World: A positive attitude towards oneself is usually bugged by the things around the person. Low self-esteem is usually influenced by the wrong attitude of comparing oneself with other persons. Envy, leads to negative thoughts of oneself and can result to low self-esteem. There's nothing wrong with idolizing other people for their abilities and their success, however, this should be done under a positive light. Putting oneself down because of others is not a healthy thing to do. Trying to become someone else is neither a good sign of finding self-worth and confidence. The only standard that is worthy of being recognized is the standard that one sets upon oneself. The world is full of different opinions and views but at the end of the day, the most important thing is that the heart is followed and happiness is achieved because of the beauty that is recognized from within. Finding one's meaning in the context of the world maybe a difficult and challenging task. The journey should start from within one's soul. You must always remember that you were put in this world for a reason. Self- esteem can be found in one's purpose in this world. Forgive yourself if you have fallen short of your expectations and try to stand up as a better person. Low self-esteem can eventually crush the totality of a person. Developing a good sense of the self and finding one's own place in the whole scheme of things can truly help in having a healthy selfesteem.
TIP NO 21 Treat Your Ego â€“ Egotism- Poison that Kills Human Beings Are you someone who is infected with this disease that has plagued mankind for quite some time now? Egotism or blown up ego. It is also known as self-centeredness, selfishness, and is 9
related to vanity or conceitedness. This disease is likened to an adhesive with which people get stuck with themselves. If you can't get away from yourself, then indeed you have it. Ever encountered people who are openly selfish and conceited? Those people who wave beggars away instead of sparing them a piece of bread or a penny? Those who can't think of anything but only themselves? Aren't they just annoying? Or, God forbid, are you one of them? Symptoms of a "Me-Me-Me" Attitude: Here are some of the signs that you have actually been infected with this disease known as egotism-itis: You think of beggars as low-life thieves instead of love-needing
humans. People who see others who are in need as plain parasites of the community don't realize that it is actually them who are in need. This means that people who judge others by the way they look are actually the people who lack a big part of their lives. They lack understanding. Vocabulary that is mainly composed of me, moi, yours truly, and
I. What could be more of an indication of selfishness than hearing someone talk about himself 24/7, right? It always has to be "what's in it for me" when it comes to any of your endeavors.
You think that the whole world owes you a lot. So, everything that you do should benefit you and only you alone. Service means contributing something for one’s own advantage. It doesn't occur to an egotist that what's in there for them is the opportunity to give or to do something for someone else. The loss of others is your gain.
That's what you feel most of the time. When someone is empty you feel full. This easily translates to a person that lacks sheer concern for others. If you feel like laughing when someone is just so grieving, surely, you have contracted the disease. Complications of a "Me-Myself-and-I" Attitude: How do you treat this very maligning disease of selfishness? Here are some thoughts that might motivate you to deal with this condition by hook or by crook. With conceit, which is the best friend of selfishness, there's no room for improvement. Since conceited people think highly of themselves, what else will motivate them to improve themselves, right? Egotism backfires. A lot! A conceited person, in their desire to show how great they are, often
makes a fool of themselves. And this makes them show how insecure they are with themselves. With selfishness, a person becomes a big turn-off. This is one of the worst downside of this
trait - the loss of loved ones or the lack of gaining some friends. What could be more repelling than knowing someone who only thinks of himself? 10
ď‚ˇIt is simply pointless to be selfish. This is because what made everyone become the person that they are today is through the help of another person.
Treating the "All by Myself" Attitude: After knowing the signs and complications of egotism the following is a rundown of things one can do to gradually get rid of this communicable disease. Egotism is founded by the thinking that we are different, that we are better than others. This can easily be destroyed by adopting the thought- the belief- the fact - that we are all the same. That we share the same fears, dreams, and hopes. What can be upsetting about that? Superiority and inferiority is a dichotomy set by humans. It really is not one of the universal realities. If one continues to keep this dichotomy in mind, endless trouble will haunt them. Also, a lack of judgment can easily lead to further trouble. Criticizing others which comes from plain narcissistic characteristics within oneself is one of the main causes of others miseries. Always think of what you can contribute for the sake of being of help instead of being helped in the long run. This way you will reap what everyone has been struggling for - peace of mind.
TIP NO 22 Think in Truth Also, think of the truth in the words of Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe (1749 ~ 1832) that "He who does not think much of himself is much more esteemed than he imagines."
TIP NO 23 Be Unafraid to Take Challenges A healthy self-esteem will lead to self-confidence. People with healthy self-esteem are comfortable in trying out new things because they are not afraid to make mistakes and make fools of themselves once in a while. They are aware that there is no perfect person and everybody makes mistakes, so there's no reason for them to hide their weaknesses.
TIP NO 24 Be Confident-Increase your level of confidence Two main things contribute to self-confidence: self-efficacy and self-esteem. We gain a sense of self-efficacy when we see ourselves (and others similar to ourselves) mastering skills and achieving goals that matter in those skill areas. This is the confidence that, if we learn and work hard in a particular area, we'll succeed; and it's this type of confidence that leads people to accept difficult challenges, and persist in the face of setbacks.
TIP NO 25 Stand up Straight Body language speaks of a whole lot of things, including a person's self-confidence. Selfconfidence or the lack of it can be manifested in many ways, one of which is through body posture. Body posture is the way one carries himself. It can be a basis for making first impressions which generally dictates the image of person in the eyes of another. Making good first impressions can be very beneficial. Take customers for example, although generally they will always give you the time to hear you out â€“ 11
although some people donâ€™t, they have you summed up on appearances the moment they see you. Take job interviews for example, most final interviews end within 20 seconds. Of course, the interview itself can take an hour or so, but the verdict has been made seconds after the applicant enters the room. A person is generally evaluated through their gestures, body language and posture. When one stands tall, one portrays an image of self-confidence. Having a good posture is a quick and sure way of building a good impression. So what is a correct posture? It is a conscious effort to keep the body aligned against the body's center of gravity. It is a posture where there is musculoskeletal balance. A person with poor posture can easily be spotted, they are the ones who slouch, with shoulders drooping and head bowed down as if looking for a long-lost coin.
TIP NO 26 Walk with Confidence People walk all the time, but the fact is, most people are afraid of walking. People would tend to look at the street (literally) rather than put their heads up and look at the people who are walking along with them. Some would stare at big billboards and advertisements, take out their phones from their pockets and pretend to call someone and do other stuff while walking. These are common signs of poor self-confidence and these are all manifested in walking. So, how can one's self-confidence be portrayed in walking? Self-confidence is one's own view about himself and his capabilities. Walking is one of the most basic human tasks and usually won't require a conscious effort, therefore, walking takes the focus off fancy clothes and equipments and tells a lot about their personality. Walking depicts a person's ability to carry oneself in any kind of situation.
TIP 27 Walk Faster to Build an Image Walking faster can improve one's self-confidence in a variety of ways. People who walk faster appear to be important people. Walking a bit faster would make an impression that one is busy and is involved in significant tasks. It is all about making a self-image for others to see. When walking faster to communicate a message of self-confidence, one must not overdo it to the extent of panting and looking exasperated. It's just a matter of carrying a bubbly and comfortable self.
TIP 28 Change Your Self Talk for a Better Self Confidence Self-confidence is one's belief in oneself. It refers to one's confidence in oneâ€™s actions, beliefs and competencies. Having self-confidence is the key towards a successful and fulfilling life. Self-talk can be described as that little voice inside one's head which can either be beneficial or detrimental to one's self-confidence. This inner voice usually critiques, give comments, or praise one's deeds and actions. There are different views about self-talk in relation to building self-confidence. Some people may associate self-talk to the obstacles towards attaining true confidence in oneself. This can be true in the cases of people who have no drive to take the pessimism out of their heads. This can later become a vicious cycle where a person is perpetually trapped in a downward spiral of self-esteem decline. 12
There is also a school of thought which believes that self-talk is an important tool in developing self- confidence. The inner voice can be seen as a teacher, a mentor, a critique who gives constructive comments and a friend. Self-talk has been employed by successful people in their careers in fields such as sports and show business.
TIP 29 Listen to your inner voice: This is the first step in making good use of self-talk. Identify the inner voice in you and listen to what it is saying. Ask questions like, regarding the contents of the thoughts, the situations which brought about these thoughts and the other factors which could have aggravated the situation. Remember that this is to be done under the general goal of building self-confidence, so try to be a as honest as possible.
TIP 30 Assess Your Thoughts After the thoughts have been identified, it is time to assess them. What are these thoughts saying in general? What attitude towards the self is being projected by these thoughts? How have I responded to these kinds of thoughts in the past? What have these kinds of thoughts instilled in me throughout the years? Have they been helpful to me and my quest towards self-confidence? Another important thing to assess is the way a person responds to the thoughts that are being said by the inner voice. A person might think that negative thoughts are empowering and that they give the much needed push to attain one's goals. Negative thoughts and comments can be helpful in the short run; however, they do more damage than good. Negative thoughts instill a general feeling of hopelessness and incompetence, especially if one fails more than once in a certain endeavor. Viewing life in a positive light is the way towards building self-confidence. When a person stumbles down, the inner voice should say "stand up, you can do it!" rather than "you're pathetic, stay down before you hurt yourself again!" The general tone of the inner voice is as important as what it is saying. Negative tones should be controlled and be reversed into positive ones.
TIP 31 Smile ( bet you canâ€™t think a negative thought) Choice: Between Stimulus and response Have you ever tried to smile and think a negative thought? Usually the result is that one of the feelings will win out. Whether it is you will feel better because you smiled or that you will eventually feel bad and frown, this is an important fact in human psychology. Humans cannot really hold attention on more than one thought at a time. This is the key to mastering oneself in this life. The human being is the only organism so far known to e aware of its own existence. Untrained, this awareness does not help us to overcome our instincts to react to any given situation. It is possible to use the will to make a choice on how one can react. Other theories also hold true to this tenet. Sales people have long practiced that if one smiles long, one will eventually feel good about himself. In essence, one can make themselves feel anything they want. In essence, it is outside-in. Smile even if there is no reason to smile. It will foster a sense of positivism that drives out negative thoughts. This is a two-edged sword. Try to frown and you can find yourself too serious to even let people near you. Our thoughts are fluid and they are ever in one state to the other. 13
The challenge is to keep them where you want them. The Buddhists have long recommended breathing methods to clear the cobwebs from your everyday life. They believe that a sense of detachment and awareness of one's state is the key to dealing with unbalanced emotion. The effect of breathing is that concentrating on the breath is a source of steadiness that is much needed when one needs a sense of control. Breathing deeply and concentrating on it also loosens hold on the ego. It supplies the body with more oxygen to fight the effects of stress. The Buddhists sense of detachment lessens the stress of responsibility by teaching the practitioner to not be concerned on the outcome of a task, but to only enjoy the process. In other words professional sales people know that the more they enjoy the journey to the sale the greater the sales outcome. They do not concern themselves on the outcome- they are aware of it but not concerned about it. They have already made the sale. Coupled with an emphasis on simplicity, compassion, and exercise, the lifestyle Buddhists lead is full of activity yet does not affect their outlook in life. The test is still to catch yourself when you are too stressed to function well. This is where choice comes in. You make the choice to stop work when going on will be counter-productive. You choose whether it is feasible to commit to a project when you know you already have your hands full. Awareness is the gauge that tells you when you have too much. Choice is the lever that you turn to ease the pressure. Part of choosing is when to say no. When presented with an opportunity. One must ask if the opportunity is feasible and if there is more than adequate time to devote to it? If it is not, then there should be no shame in declining. Overloading oneself is another sign of poor choice, and doesn't do anyone or the inviting party any lasting good. The key is the awareness to response with an appropriate choice. CHOICE IS GOLD ESPECIALLY RIGHT CHOICE.
TIP 32 Make a difference Dealing with one's inner voice can be a daunting task. If it's hard to talk to somebody who wonâ€™t listen, it's even harder to talk and listen to oneself since there can be no sensible argument that can happen. Getting rid of the negative thoughts inside one's head will give the positive thoughts some space. It is all about rephrasing the negative thoughts to make them positive. One's concept of the world is based on his views of the world. You develop self-confidence by feeling good about yourself. The inner voice should not have control of the body it is the person who should have control over the inner voice. Self-confidence is like a pair of eyeglasses, having the right pair can make one enjoy the beauty of things to the fullest. Life, if one truly looks at it, is all about perception. One will never enjoy life if he perceives it with much negativity. This is also true in terms of viewing oneself. Selfconfidence is tied to having true happiness. True happiness can only come from within a person's heart and believing in oneself is the only way to achieve happiness. One can either see the cup as half full or half empty â€“ the choice is their own
TIP 33 Improving Self Confidence through Eye Contact It's a clichĂŠ to say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, but in more ways than one, they are. The eyes are also the mirrors of self-confidence. A person can easily assess another person's self-confidence by engaging in eye contact. People with low self-confidence hate making eye contact. They would tend to look at the ground as if they are looking for a lost coin. The eyes are the first things which are noticed in the human face and they leave a long-lasting impression to the beholder. The eyes can make statements at a glance like no other part of the body can make. Even with no words, the eyes can reveal a lot about someone. A person who is trying to hide unhappiness can never really pretend to be happy without people noticing it. The eyes can tell stories that are never meant to be told. They can decipher thoughts and insecurities which are engraved in the deepest holes of one's souls. The eyes also act as a meter to one's self-confidence. The eyes play a big role in making relationships, building careers and in portraying sincerity, trust and competence, in general.
TIP 34 Shake Hands to Improve Self Confidence Body language portrays a person's self-confidence. Shaking hands is a big part of a person's body language. First impressions are based partly on how a person delivers their handshakes. Handshakes are traced back into Ancient Egypt, around 2,800 B.C. During those times, the right hand is the hand which carries weapons. When a person offers a clean, unarmed right hand to another person, it is a sign of peace and goodwill. Handshakes have endured the test of time and it is still widely accepted as a form of social greeting in our modern times. If someone thinks of it, the gestures of a proper handshake are not difficult to do. They are fairly simple and can be considered as no-brainers. However, as stated above, handshakes are more than simple gestures since they embody the portrait of a person's self-confidence. Handshakes can go extremely wrong because of nervousness or excitement which can then lead into missed opportunities or moments of awkwardness, to say the least. There are several well-known forms of handshakes which people should avoid doing. These are some of the most popular ones: Palm Crusher The palm crusher is a kind of handshake which tends to give pain to the other person's hand. Of course, this is not usually the intention of the initiator of the handshake but is a consequence of over-excitement or anxiousness to make an introduction. Sloppy Joe This kind of hand shake can be described as lifeless. It depicts lack of interest and sincerity in doing the gesture. It instantly kills the intention and the general purpose of a handshake. Hand Sanitizer A handshake is a "hand sanitizer" handshake if someone: makes minimal contact with the other person's hand; or if he overtly wipes his hand after the handshake. This kind of handshake is hostile one and instead of building connections and acquaintances, it reverses the purpose of handshaking and instills feelings of anger and hatred. So how is a proper handshake done? Listed below are the simple steps in making a 15
handshake: Approach the person whom you want to shake hands with Make eye contact with him/her Give him/her a warm smile Extend your right hand towards him/her at a comfortable angle When he/she extend his/her hand, grasp it until the webs of the palms meet Make an introduction or a greeting End the handshake after 3 to 4 seconds
When someone approaches you and offers a handshake, it is a courteous thing to stand up before shaking hands. If the right hand is disabled or is carrying something which cannot be put down, shake the hand using the left hand. If both hands are occupied, a simple nod and apology are acceptable. At a cocktail party, one holds a drink with the left hand, making the right hand fairly available throughout the event for introductions. The right hand should always be clean and dry when making a handshake. If a person has sweaty hands, they may opt to put some antiperspirant (no scent, please!) before going to an event. They may also keep a handkerchief or “wipe” in their right pocket so that they may quietly slip their hand in the pocket to wipe it off before engaging in the gesture. Of course, someone can also wipe their hand at the sides of their pants but this should be done in a discreet manner. Handshakes can be employed in almost all kinds of social and business gatherings. Come to think of it, there is no social event that is exempted from the handshake. Handshakes are exchanged in business deals, dates, renewing old acquaintances, job interviews, social engagements and even in Church. There are few instances when initiating a handshake is not the preferred option. In the business world, when someone faces a person of much higher ranking, it is better not to offer a handshake, especially if the person has nothing important to say to the higher ranking official. The other instance is when both of your hands are carrying stuff which you cannot put down at that moment. A handshake is more than a simple gesture. It is a simple gesture which builds connections and can leave an impression of a person. Practicing good handshaking can take a person to higher levels, in his career and in building relationships.
TIP 35 Gain even more self-confidence Today is one of those days when your group has to make a presentation to a client. This is an important occasion because it is an opportunity to get your boss' attention. It could mean a raise or a promotion if you could just muster the courage to stand there in front of these people and present your proposal. The problem is, your shyness gets the better of you, and you are relegated to the background. You sat there mesmerized, as your colleague made a winning presentation of your proposal. She stood there, dressed in a simple gray suit that spelled confidence! "Why can't I gather enough courage to present my work to these people when I know this project like the back of my hand," you ask yourself. 16
Self confidence. This is what you lack, and this is what your colleague has. But what is self confidence? Is it the ability to speak in a loud voice so you can get people's attention? Is it about power dressing? Self confidence is an ATTITUDE that is characterized by a positive belief that one can take control of one's life and of one's plans.
TIP 36 Use Daily Affirmations Let Yourself Know How Great You are every day. Religious people might actually have a good idea. Next time, when you hear the chant of monks, the homily in a Catholic Church, the singing from the Gregorian, remember that it is a way of affirmation of themselves and of their faith. And you can use it to affirm yourselves. People from all walks of life use affirmations to keep themselves going. Warriors, merchants, students, even politicians. This is because affirmations are a surefire way of reminding the self of their choices and their goals. Affirmations are defined as declarations of the belief of an existence or truth of a thing. This is one of the foundations of self-confidence and the way one can deal with the world. Sometimes we lose track of ourselves. It happens at work, taking care of the needs of your wife and kids. Or meeting our obligations at church or in a workout, sometimes we forget the "why" of things.
Most people go through life not setting goals. In fact, only three out of a hundred college students around the world set goals. These 3% eventually go on to realize their goals and earn a higher income than the rest of the 97%. This is a startling figure. It means that goals should be taken far more seriously. People with goals are more confident of themselves because they measure themselves against a benchmark. This has the effect of letting them know where they truly stand against the goals they set. It may be understandable that people lose their way after they set the goals. This may have been a result of having no mechanism to constantly affirm their actions. Or there was no method set up to affirm the goals they have set, reminding them the reason for working long and hard. When goals are forgotten, time is wasted. And the person loses self-esteem, confidence, and gives up. It is therefore important to maintain a high self-confident attitude that does not depart from reality. The role affirmation plays on maintaining self-confidence is in the area of autosuggestion. Autosuggestion is a declaration of an intention or a goal which is stated over and over again until the mind of the person accepts the statement as truth. This type of affirmation is viewed positively and it mobilizes one's resources and effort towards the attainment of the goals so stated. It is also a means of harnessing the power of the subconscious in helping achieve goals. It is a form of self- hypnosis, usually accompanied by having a compelling vision with the statement; the person repetitively tries to live through the moment as if it already happened. Sports psychology has made use of autosuggestion and visualization to win games and this was 17
proven time and again by claims made by athletes. It seems that human beings are quite good at mentally programming themselves to achieve a specific goal. However, the opposite effect can also take place. One can repetitively place oneself in a position where negative thought repeatedly bombard the mind into submission. The brain makes no distinction between a positive suggestion and a negative suggestion. Therefore the wording of the affirmation is very important. It is always better to declare a statement in a positive sense instead of the negative because the mind does not hear any negative remarks. For example, if one wants to stop smoking, oneâ€™s statement should not be "I will not smoke." The mind can only perceive and accept it as "I will smoke." It would always be better to say, "I will exercise daily to be healthy." The more positive the affirmation the more powerful the effect of the affirmation will have. Affirmations must be stated everyday. It should the first thing done when one wakes up, before work is started, and before one goes to sleep. This is programming the mind for success. Visualization is executed by seeing a future event in as great detail as one can. It must involve all the senses, even taste and smell. The objective is to create a compelling vision that the mind will readily accept as reality. If done correctly, the mind will subconsciously work towards the fulfillment of that desire. The mind is a powerful tool for success. Because it is like a sponge, one must be careful what one or others put in it. Use affirmations and visualizations to clean up your mind as well.
Nothing happens easily. However, employ some of the principles outlined here and in no time your self confidence will soar .
TIP NO 37 Overcome any Fear of Failure Many people suffer from fear of failure. Whether they want to admit this or not is another matter. This type of mentality touches people from all aspects of life. This is a common concern shared by many individuals. Although the degree in which they hold strongly to this way of thinking varies from person to person. One of the reasons people fear failure is because they are afraid of what people would think of them. This is especially applicable in a working environment or school setting, where one wrong move might possibly mean being ostracized for life! Also, there's a lot of pressure that comes from home. Sometimes children become worried of not meeting their parents' expectations; or not getting good grades, or winning sports competitions, etc. This type of mentality unchecked can have harmful effects on a person. Failure is Success in Disguise Some people rely on positive thinking to keep failure at bay. While it helps, it also lulls a person into believing that nothing can go wrong, thus creating a false sense of security. Failure may be a bitter pill to swallow but everyone must fail at one time in their lives. However, it is not the fact that you have failed that is important but the manner in which you have accepted 18
and risen from such failure. People can either allow themselves to be thwarted by failure, or they can use such failure to build up their determination to climb more mountains. What is important is that the experience of failing was not for naught, because the people who failed learned something from the experience. Those who fear failure should know that most successful people have failed one or more times in their lives. But what made the difference is how they learned from the failure and how they used failure to succeed in life. The real failures are those who fail once and then refuse to try anything ever again for fear that they might fail again. The fear of failure creates anxiety due to the fear of not knowing and not being certain of what will happen next. Most often, this results in a small problem being blown out of proportion. The more a person thinks about the possibility of failing, the more he will jump to conclusions on the possible scenarios. Unknowingly, this fear of failure has made a small problem bigger and more complicated. People who fear failure can become too competitive. It forces them to treat every person and every opportunity as a threat. This takes the joy out of doing something that should have been simple and without pressure. Such a person becomes nervous and anxious. The feeling of being pressured to do more and to exceed what is normal forces a person to be erratic and weary. Fear of failure is normal. How you deal with it can make the difference. The best thing to do when confronted with fear of failure is to take inspiration from the reliable bamboo tree which bends when confronted with a strong wind, to keep itself from breaking, and to rise again when the wind has stopped. First, people must accept that they are not a perfect beings, in fact nobody is. A person has a right to err and to fail so you have to give yourself another chance and another day to fight your battle. Always have a support group to lean on when the going gets rough so that you will not feel alone and rejected. Most successful people rely on their families and friends when they are at their lowest point in their life. Others rely on their dreams of making it to the top. Whatever you do, do not keep the feeling of bitterness inside you because it will just build up and ruin you. Talk about your fear and your frustration because it is the only way to get it out of your system. Whoever said that failure is success turned inside out must have experienced failure at one or more times in their life, or else, how would they have known that failure is just success in disguise?
TIP NO 38 Never Give Up First of all, acceptance goes a long way and accepting that you will not be successful in everything that you do, will take a lot of pressure off a person. Everyone fails, from time to time, it is part of life. The important thing to remember is to never give up. A lot of people who have attained success got to where they are because they chose not to be defeated by their 'failures'. In fact, most of them don't see failures as failures. They view them as lessons learned- a process of trial and error. After all, it is a given that everyone will make some mistakes in the course of their lifetime. 19
In the process, a person learns how to become patient, how to persevere, and become more determined in the face of the many hardships that he or she encounters. Failure has gotten a bad wrap. Everyone loves a winner! But what people are forgetting to consider is that it takes a lot of hard work, effort, perseverance, and lessons learned to get to the top. Sometimes it takes a lot of mistakes to get something just right! This is why failure should not be seen as a death sentence. Otherwise it will just ruin a person's self esteem. The ability to bounce back, and not give up when everyone has counted you out, is what determines a real winner!
TIP NO 39 Overcome Fear of the unknown A lot of anxiety and anxiousness that people feel come from the idea that they do not know what will happen next. Therefore, they would be unable to control the situation. They become uncertain of themselves and stress over how they will perform in a new environment. Also, wondering whether they would get along, or gain acceptance in a new environment also becomes a source of apprehension.
TIP NO 40 Overcome Fear of failure in business In business it has been assessed that in the United States, over 21% of the population mentioned fear of failure as the reason for not starting a business, or a company of some sort. It is even worse if the UK, with an estimated over 32 percent, falling prey to this same type of thinking. Approximately 30% of individuals living in Europe claimed that they would rather be employed. Given that this provides a steady source of income, rather than take a chance at a venture that may or may not pay off in the end. In the United States, only 16 percent of Americans agreed with this line of reasoning. There is always a risk when it comes to starting one's own business. Since, it is not guaranteed that a person will become successful in whatever business venture he/she chooses to tackle. This is why a lot of people chose to play it safe. Taking the employment route that guarantees a paycheck each month, rather than risk being out in the cold, with no sure source of income. It only goes to show that being an entrepreneur is not for everyone.
TIP NO 41 Overcome Fear that Immobilizes "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." This is one famous quote of the late president Franklin D. Roosevelt on his First Inaugural Address on March 4, 1933. As the quote above implies, fears are unjustified and can paralyze our efforts to advance in our lives. But what are fears? Why can it be so powerful to stop us from doing certain things? Fears are known to be unreasonable ideas of certain objects, events, places or feelings. Because of its irrational being, it can also be considered as a person's weakness. That is why most people do not talk about them; much less admit that they have those fears. We can get used to living with our fears and be unconscious of them. Fear can also be a good thing. It can lead us to safety and keep us or a loved one from danger. 20
Some fears give us signals that there is a threat or we are facing danger. We listen to these fears for us to respond correctly for our own good. However, most of the fears that we have are irrational especially our being afraid of particular things or situations. One of the most popular being the fear of not having enough money- we must absolutely lose this fear of scarcity or we will surely perish at its mercy. It is this fear that creates stress and anxiety that causes a lot of illness in our society. These are the fears that can ruin our day, restrict us from enjoying our everyday activities. Sometimes we call this type of fear phobia. A person afraid of flying could mean he might be missing out a promotion at work. That is already passing on a great opportunity just because the person cannot face their fears. FEAR= FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL We have but two choices when we deal with this fear1.
Face Everything And
Run or 2. Face Everything And Rise Fears can be so powerful that they can cease us from doing certain things because we, ourselves, give power to them. We let fears rule our lives rather than us ruling them. These are negative scripts that we programmed ourselves with, or allowed somebody to, and they tell us what consequences will happen should we be involved in certain situations or behavior. Because of this authority we have given to our fears, we suffer negative consequences from them. One of these consequences is the ability of fear to immobilize us. Fears can prevent us from having sensible problem solving and decision making skills. These restrict us from letting us go beyond our comfort zone and change things that can help improve our lives. The first step to overcome our fears is to be able to identify and label them. This way, we will be able to know the correct steps to take to properly resolve them. A systematic plan on how to go about these steps will help in a better and more successful journey of overcoming these fears. Affirmation is also one good thing to do. Letting go of our insecurities and just learning to trust ourselves and others will gradually lessen our dependence on our fears. Aside from these self-help strategies, one can also seek professional help in dealing with fears. This is most recommended when these fears already get in the way and interrupt us from doing our day-to-day activities. The most common technique professionals do to help their clients is the exposure therapy. They expose their clients to whatever they are afraid of gradually until they can face those fears on their own. This has been proven to be the most effective and efficient technique among others. People who are trying to overcome their fears must also allow for set backs and relapses. This is common to any condition being treated. Getting rid of these fears is not an overnight thing. It will definitely take time but the results can be immense. Since fears are something that we learned or developed, they can defmitely be unlearned as well. Even those intense ones can be reduced and possibly be eliminated. Believe it or not, fear is something that we can take full control of. Though, this may take time to learn, it will surely be beneficial once we discover how to manage and manipulate these fears. 21
TIP 42 Overcome Fear of Rejection This fear can be a sales person's biggest nightmare. The inability to accept no or the ability to stop no from making one feel unsuccessful can have a downward spiraling effect on a perfectly good, well trained sales person. Fear of rejection can be a serious setback for anyone. It affects how a person feels about themselves, the way they treat others, and even the way they view life. Not only does it affect the individual who emotionally suffers from this way of thinking. But also the people that surround that person also become affected by the behavior exhibited by that person. Root of the problem: There are many reasons why people suffer from fear of rejection. The cause could have stemmed from a bad experience in childhood. Being a kid who never really fitted in well with the other children,or the one who always got picked last for softball teams can have lasting effects. It could leave the child
self-esteem, and the feeling that
he/she is not wanted. This could have psychological consequences to a child growing up. One of the greatest denominators of this fear is when people almost unbeknown to themselves feel "they do not deserve..." that they are undeserving. Looking for signs of rejection: People who suffer from fear of rejection tend to blow things out of proportion or think irrationally about certain circumstances. A simple action or solution becomes avoidance which in turn becomes rejection from the other party.
A typical example is a sales person who wins the sale and then does not follow through with ensuring that their client is totally satisfied. They then go about avoiding their client until the client cancels the order. This typically occurs when the salesperson feels they are undeserving and fear the success of a great client足 sales person relationship- they literally sabotage a potentially good long term relationship. Individuals who adhere to this way of thinking have a tendency to read too much into things thereby making it very difficult for the people around them to respond in a natural manner. Given that they are being made to feel that they are doing something wrong to the person who suffers from fear of rejection. Problems that might arise due to fear of rejection: The problem with fear of rejection is that this attitude can lead to other unhealthy behavioral patterns. Having a fear of rejection can make a person become obsessive or "clingy" over the people they have in their lives. This could potentially be detrimental to a relationship. Given that the other person might feel the strain of this emotional baggage, or become suffocated as a result of this behavior. This type of behavior can also tum people away. Potential friends might find this type of attitude really undesirable. Whatever wonderful traits and attributes a person might have, they can be overshadowed by the manifested undesirable behaviors driven by the fear of rejection. Another problem that can arise from those individuals who are suffering from fear of rejection is that they reject others who want to be a part of their lives. In their minds they are convinced with the inevitability of rejection that they do it to others first, 22
before others get the chance to do it to them. This then becomes a vicious cycle in a relationship, and will end up hurting all of the parties involved. How to get over the fear or rejection: Fear of rejection is strongly connected to a low selfesteem. People who don't have much confidence in themselves, or think that they are not good enough usually are prone to this way of thinking. Usually they have a fear of approaching people. They are reluctant to engage in relationships because in their minds they are already thinking that at some point or another that they will be abandoned. So instead of even making an attempt, they simply withdraw from making contact. One of the best things that individuals who are suffering from fear of rejection can do is to work on themselves. They need to develop higher self-esteem and a sense of self worth. Doing so will vastly improve their outlook in life. It will also help ease the manner in which they conduct their relationships with other people. Individuals will benefit greatly from knowing their strengths and weaknesses. Let us face it, nobody is perfect. Accepting that you will not be the best at everything you do should take a lot of pressure off of you. People need to learn to accept their limitations. Also, their self esteem need not be based on what others think of them. They need not alter their feelings about themselves simply because they failed to get a compliment on their appearance, for example. People who are suffering from fear of rejection get over this setback by accepting themselves first. Once they have learned to appreciate and bestow the right amount of self worth on themselves they will begin the road to recovery and the fear of rejection that has imprisoned them before will become a thing of the past.
TIP 43 Catch Out Negative Thoughts Awareness about oneself has always been considered a human ability. With this gift, man has managed to put himself as the dominant species of the earth. With his mind, he has managed to harness the very power of nature to create machines and codify systems. Right from the first discovery of fire, it is in man's very nature to explore and to evolve. With no natural weapons or significant protection of any kind, it may be a wonder how we managed to succeed in evolution. There is only one answer. Our natural gift is our mind. In the realm of the mind, Greek philosophers have encouraged man to aspire for perfection. In the Far East, we have striven to master our emotions and point the way for our future generations. Each generation has brought with it great steps in technology and innovation. Despite this, somehow, we have not done so well with our emotions. Awareness is a doubleedged sword. What happens when man becomes unbalanced and therefore unable to access people, situations and things correctly? An essential part of the human being is the image he has of his self-worth. Knowing precisely what a man's self-worth is gives a good indication on how far and high he will go in life. When peopleâ€™s self-worth is not well developed, they lose the will to make a difference in the world. Have you ever examined the mental chatter you have in your head? Is it positive or negative? Do you find yourself in constant doubt? Second-guessing yourself when you should have gone for it? Were you encouraged when you were young? Did you ever know you could do that, but 23
was afraid of failure? All these thoughts stop us from making a lot of mistakes. Problem is mistakes are the way mankind usually learns. Surviving mistakes makes people stronger and wiser in a manner that they never forgets. Because we stops ourselves, we don't grow as much.
TIP 44 Learn to recognize negative thoughts. These are the signs: Automatic thoughts These thoughts seem to come naturally to your mind. One would be mistaken to think they are the norm though. If children were observed, why would they be uninhibited then? We are all naturally without negative thoughts. As children, to be integrated into society meant that we have to be trained to be a part of society. This meant that measures had to be taken to keep us in check at times. Unfortunately some parents took to verbal and physical punishment as a means to control their kids. But the purpose to discipline gets outlived and we still remember the shaming incidents we went through more than a decade ago. Without conscious intervention, we keep the tape running over and over again. Emotionally charged thoughts We feel strongly about it. We are involved with it. Our blood goes pumping and our heart rater kicks up more than a notch. We can't help it. But are we helpless? Fortunately, we are not helpless. Though for years we have been avoiding the subject, we can choose to face the facts and make ourselves better again. The first step is to accept that we have this problem. We can also choose the response we give this kind of stimulation. "Between stimulus and response, there is a gap." With practice, we can widen this gap and create a space where we can act in a manner we choose to a situation. Draining thoughts Negative thoughts do not give energy to go on doing things at the same level or makes us suddenly lose our enthusiasm. We become distracted and preoccupied where concentration and focus is required. Negative thoughts take energy away from the work one does. It is counterproductive and makes you get in the way of yourself. If you find yourself in this situation, stop. Take a break, and take time to return to your center. Find a quiet corner and sit down. Relax and close your eyes. Concentrate on breathing naturally through your mouth. Take slow deep breaths that go all the way into your center. When you find yourself totally on your breath, then you can think about things that make you happy and excited. After a few minutes, you'll feel invigorated and ready to do another round. Negative thoughts are a product of what happened to us in the past. It may well be good advice that we find ways to keep it in the past, let go and move on into the present and future without any useless baggage.
TIP 45 Never Apologize for Your Success Deeply ingrained in the heart of every man, woman and child in the face of the earth is the drive to succeed. Now with six billion people in the world with the drive to succeed, that's a tall order. Fortunately, not all men, women and children are equal. In fact, each man and women is unique and varied in terms of goals, capacity, purpose, opportunities presented, threshold for risk, etc. Each has a slightly different style of learning, preference, and outlook in life. It would also stand to reason that each human being on the face of the earth will have slight to extreme differences in defining what success is to them. Success is defined as being in a situation of fame and/or prosperity. One might think people became successful because they had an advantage. And they actually do. They had the uncommon characteristic that they set their minds to succeed. They have the drive and desire to be where they choose to be. If it is impossible at the present, they make plans to put themselves in situations where they will get to their destination step by step. They just don't give up, even in the face of great odds. Yet why are most of the six billion not successful then? Is there a reason why not everybody is a millionaire? Everybody has the drive for success, so why aren't we all better off? The answer unfortunately is not outside. It is because we stop or deny ourselves from success. It might sound strange, but most people choose to not succeed. Success can be pretty scary. It is a lonely journey to the top. People who desire success can be viewed as caring only about money. Your talents will be less valued by people who don't see its worth. And quite possibly the social circles the person moves in will not appreciate the success that person has achieved and will move to ostracize them. Once success is achieved, a person is placed in a very unique situation of their own making. They can choose to either get used to success or decide the discomfort of success is too much and withdraw back into familiar grounds. Never say you are sorry for your success whether the situation required a person to strive for others or themselves. The very fact that they have reached a certain level of success signifies a payoff of all the hard work and sacrifice they have put into the effort. Feel happy and enjoy the fruits of your labors. What is the value of tilling a field if you do not enjoy its fruits? It is okay to feel good about being a success. You do not have the world on your shoulders by yourself. Look around and you will see that others are more than willing to take up the burden with you. Spread the wealth around. Give back to the community that supports you. If you feel discomfort that you have more than the poor, then this would be a perfect opportunity to make a significant contribution to your fellow men. Build schools, parks, libraries, etc. If you're not that successful, volunteer at church, teach; make others happy in your presence. Choose to teach your fellow man to learn to be a success. Go on lectures. Share what you know with others. It will make the taste of success so much sweeter when others are with you at the top. Stay simple. As a successful person, the lure of the glitter is great. You may be tempted to purchase extravagantly. Build three Jacuzzis in your ten million dollar home in Beverly Hills. Don't go over the top. Don't let things you own...own you. Stick to your principles. The most successful people are down to earth, simple folks with iron clad 25
values. When one of them says they'll meet you at five pm on the corner deli, don't make the mistake of meeting them, five minutes after the appointed time. If you do, you better have a good reason to do so. Truly successful people are people with integrity. They keep their word as much as they can and act warmly towards everybody they encounter. And why shouldn't they? They were willing to take a chance on life. So life has given back what they put in, with interest.
TIP 46 Adopt The "Can Do" Attitude â€“ It Will Take You Places Ever noticed we are never really quiet inside our own minds? Try it out. When we sit in a corner, away from others for a break, we keep on thinking. We can't stop ourselves from thinking. As long as the body feeds us sensory data from the environment, we respond to the environment. In prehistoric times, man relied on his instincts to survive. Scientists have called this the fight-flight response in which a person instantly chooses to fight and overcome his adversary or run away to survive. The body, perceiving a threat, increases and opens up its stores and energizes the necessary cells to prepare for a fight or a run. The body becomes more alert, the muscles get all the blood they need, sugar and fat are burned quickly. In modern times, the fight-flight response is still useful in a minimal capacity for situations against robbers, muggers, or prize fighting. Soldiers and people on the violent path still need this even more.
For the average civilian, the only violence encountered is usually verbal or on television. However, what most people don't realize is the violence and pain they inflict upon themselves inside their own heads. As social animals, human beings are expected to interact with others of their species to have a good life. In cities and town constructed by humans, this is unavoidable and people cope in different ways to eke a living out of these artificial jungles. However, sometimes fight-flight responses take over and spill over into areas of interaction that do not require an extreme response. This may be due to undisciplined use of negative reinforcement techniques in childhood, a traumatic experience, genetics, the environment, etc. In the average person, this spills over into everyday life. For example, being the butt of jokes by peers, trying to ask a girl out for a date, or getting chewed out by the boss or a customer, finding enough money to make ends meet, these are situations that, to most people, are times of extreme stress. The only way to overcome these extremely stressful situation is to train yourself to see it another way. A "Can Do" attitude reflects this outlook. To make the most of life, people have to accept living to the fullest. Having a "can do" attitude shows that life to you is: ď‚ˇ A journey. Don't worry about the destination, enjoy the process. People are expected to make
mistakes. If it does happen, why make a big deal? Accept the mistake, learn the lesson and move on. Be thankful that you had the opportunity to learn something new. If the lesson is not learned, life comes back to teach it again and again until you get it. ď‚ˇ Not to be taken too seriously. Life taken too seriously only makes the uptight person more stressed. Laugh, have fun. Accept that nothing is perfect. It is perfectly normal to see that you can 26
eat ice cream with French fries. That white people can fall in love with blacks. Life comes in all shapes and sizes. Not about survival, but about living well. Life is hard enough without letting art and beauty
into the individual life. The "can do" person knows why they are here because they have taken the time to know their purpose. Whether that purpose is to teach college football, or to be president of a Third World nation, the "can do" person does it with two feet on the ground and their eyes fixed on the future. Half full, not half empty. People have learned from society a kind of sickness. That for people
to survive, it is better to see things in a pessimistic way. The point is entirely missed. Life depends on how you see it. A "can do" attitude is quite the optimistic realist. An optimistic realist knows that a lot of things can go wrong because the world is like that, but
that does not stop the person from trying out opportunities to take them to better places and better opportunities. Fear is not allowed to dictate action, only warn. Logic is not used to find reason not to do it, but is used to achieve the optimist's objectives. Is not alone. "Can do" people know that people are more than willing to help them. This is because the world reacts to sincerity in a way that a person reacts to a child. There is no trickery involved. A "can do" person is an agent of change, not hesitating in helping others along the way. Others are also on their way to become better.
Help yourself by helping others. Develop trust and friendship, but never be surprised at the ambiguity when you encounter it. Accept it as part of the process.
A "Can do" attitude can definitely take you places you never dreamed of.
TIP 47 Find your maximum potential- and live it TIP 48 Always be true to yourself TIP 49 Always trust your intuition TIP 50 Apply all these steps and if you don't know how and need to learn more then it is your time to join The Academy Sales Marketing and Business Management Business Coaching for Life Program
Understand Value Have a diligent understanding of the value you bring to the marketplace,both as a person and as a business. If you think your value lies in your features and benefits,or in the product you sell,then you're selling yourself way short. Your value could even reside in the process you use to solve problems forthe prospect or for your company. Value is hooked on two things: a) the pain you help people solve and b) the opportunhv you help people achieve. Zig Ziglar: "If you help enough people get what they want,you will get what you want." Remember that as you think through your value to the Universe
Proprietary Pain See yourself in a problem-solving business and you will always be compensated higher than average. Key in on your prospect's pain rather than the benefits of your product or service. The highly paid executives are compensated that way because of their ability to solve big problems. What problem do you solve that no one else can solve? Think about increasing your income in this fashion (especially if you're in a business development mode). Your ability to generate Income Is directly proportionate to vour ability to solve problems. If you want to make more, ,then solve more. Or "solve bigger." So make a list of all the problems you solve for people. Especially your clients and/or customers. Be exhaustive with this list. Open up a file folder called PROBLEMS I SOLVE. Get serious about it, since this is one of the legs of growing income. Think about everything you do as a “problem-solution equation.” If you’re in sales in the trucking business and someone asks you what you do, don’t say you’re in the trucking business. Say, “companies come to us when they have problems in these three areas x, y and z.” That gives the Universe a bucket to dump money into.
Be An Agent of Transformation This means you’re savvy at taking people and changing the environment—not necessarily changing them. You take people from one reality to another more resourceful one. Transformation of people’s business is what will pay you the most money, especially in sales and marketing. You must have a process to follow and know the questions to ask to transform your client and their business. Transformation does not mean BIG CHANGE. It can mean small, incremental improvement in an outcome. Most small changes in business can result in big changes in the bottom line. We helped a Business increase their closing percentage from 25% to 32%. Doesn’t sound like much does it? Think about it. If you’re a $10M company, that increases sales almost 30%!!! If they are like most companies, and operate on a 25% marginal profit margin, we increased profits $750,000!! Without adding any more ‘head count’ and without investing anything more than the consulting, which was a hell of lot less than $750K. But on the surface a 7% increase in closing trivializes the matter.
Denominate Everything You can’t take percentages to the bank. We talk of percentages and other non-monetary units 29
all the time. Stop! Start talking dollars and cents. That’s all you should be concerned with. When someone says we lost it by 5%, don’t let them get away with it. It means nothing. Be a hawk for “denominating.” If someone says, we’re 10% high, then, find out what that translates to in dollars. We have a clients who would always talk in percentages, but it ruined their ability to justify a premium. On a $300,000 sale, being 10% high is $30,000 high. That piece of information we can do something with – percentages cannot be justified! Bottled water is priced 3,750% higher than tap water. Who in the world would pay 300 x more for something they can virtually get for free? But when you reduce it to a bottle being $.50, then the dollars justify it. Percentages are useless.
Get Perfectly OK With High Income You will become the person you want to be—and create the income you want once you are OK with becoming that person. The Universe will deliver to you a higher level of success as you become OK with more. If you’re not OK with the new income level, self-sabotage sets in. We see this in sales all the time. A person is used to earning $100,000/year and they take a job where can earn $250,000. Yet they don’t. On the surface everyone says “Hey, that Person (add a name if you wish) has such an opportunity and so much talent--what’s wrong with them? Why aren’t they producing like they could?” What’s wrong is that the person’s comfort zone and default mechanism has them stuck on their $100,000/year self worth. If you’re in management and have people reporting to you who could earn more, work on their self worth, not on gimmicks and market tricks to close more sales. Even if they knew the tricks they wouldn’t use them because there is a master barometer deep inside that governs their income.
You are the CEO of Your Future Inc.- YES? Care more about your future than anyone else does. It is your responsibility to grow your income potential. Your pay check may have someone else’s signature, but no one should care more about your personal growth than you. Old thinkers wait until their company invests in them. New thinkers snap their future by the forelock, invest in themselves and get paid appropriately. Go to classes. Get your company to pay half of the tuition. Don’t ask them to pay it all. That ruins your power. Too many people wait and wait for their company to invest in them. And they refuse to get out their own check books. Companies are not willing to invest in someone if they aren’t willing to invest in themselves a little. Put some of your skin in the game and watch results multiply. 30
Check Your Ego We will be hampered by your ego’s continuous desire for control unless you have a method or process to keep your ego out of the mix as you achieve success. ( Part One Inner) Ego will restrict you. Our inner selves will expand us. As with anything, it’s easier to replace a bad habit with a good one than to just avoid the bad habit. Relying on our ego as a filter is a bad habit. An ego question is, “What can I get out of this to confirm my well being as a person?” An inner self question is, “What can I contribute to this situation so everyone can leave stronger?” This works. Companies grow by making this subtle switch in how they work with their clients. It’s amazing the power this little shift has—from ego to spiritual inner self. Try it in low risk situations. Give up all control to the out come and watch your power amass.
Understand Market Abundance When you look around you, do you see abundance or scarcity? Do you see gobs of cash lying around for you to pick up? Or do you see lack and misery? We live in an abundant economy of all times. The reason we do is because our mind is abundant. Our creativity is abundant. Our ideas never ever stop. Stop working on technique problems and start working on how you see the world as fulfilling and rich. Increasing the generation of income is not dependent on anything that may be said to you- ie the economy is in a recession, or the bottom has fallen out of the building trade, or people aren’t spending they are hanging on to money in case there is another interest rate rise. All these “sayings” stem from a socially conditioned scarcity mind set. "Money making is not a serious business. It is a game that you play. At first it may seem that it is a game that you play with forces outside of yourself—the economies of the marketplace so to speak—but as you proceed, you discover it is actually a game you play with yourself." —Stuart Wilde When you believe you will generate – and you just “simply” know you will generate more – you will. It is as simple as that. When customers come to buy from you or when you go to close the sale you just made the purchaser doesn’t stop and think about the recession we are having and then not buy - they buy because you have something they want and can use. The opposite of abundance is “scarcity.” That’s when you see everything through “half empty” glasses. “There are $6B dollar bills floating in the economy at any one time, whizzing by your head as they get transmitted from company to bank. It seems pragmatic to have your hand out and capture some of those.” That’s a figure of speech for the fact that there is a lot of money in the market. Bring value. Put your hand out. And pick up a few dollars. But talking about abundance doesn’t make it so. The bridge from where you are to abundance is constructed from SKILL and ACTION. Reflection is OK for a while, but you must to take action.
Have Dreams When your vision is clear, your path will be lined with unshakable confidence. When your vision is cloudy, every speed bump looks like a mountain range. When you see clearly what your future will look like, you will make wise intuitive decisions. It will happen effortlessly. No dreams—no toughness. Dreams have the ability to inspire us—to motivate us. So why not use them to do just that? Find some quiet time and think about what you want your life to look like in five years. Put that quiet time on your calendar and let nothing get in the way of it. But don’t do it once. Do it over and over again. Dreaming is like writing. The more you do it the better you get at it. At first it is difficult to do this on your own on your own. You may need a coach or facilitator to help you along and draw your dreams out. Signing up to the ASMBM Fundamentals of Business program will assist you with this.
Become an Expert Seeker of Problems In business, to create large amounts of income, your business should be finding and solving problems. You will profoundly improve your income when you are able to put your ego aside and concentrate fully on your prospect’s problem rather than your own commission or your own outcome. Problems create opportunities. Start to think of problems as opportunities.
Let Go. Detach ”True freedom is the ability to become unattached to all outcomes.” Being unattached to outcomes allows you to take intelligent risks, to be willing to fail, to be curious about opportunity and to bounce back quickly from a loss. Get over it. If it fails, then it wasn’t meant to be. Most people lack the confidence to present their ideas because they’re afraid of rejection. When you play it right in your mind, there is no such thing as rejection because your ideas are about ways to solve problems or bring the realization of possibilities to others. It’s not about YOU. It’s about them. So why should you feel rejected? “You must reject the prospect before they reject you.” I’m the one with the solution. I’m giving them the opportunity to experience my solution so why is my ego involved? If they don’t have a problem that needs fixing, or if they prefer to live in the crap of their own making, fine. I’ll find someone else to sell to. Be detached. Business life is more fun that way.
Take Inventory – SWOT (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats) 32
Thereâ€™s no sin in having weaknesses. Weaknesses are great â€“ however, only those people who have enough courage to be able to identify their own weaknesses create the opportunity to fix those weaknesses - in other words turn them into strengths- if you don't know your own weaknesses or never look at them this opportunity evades you. The more the merrier- the more the greater opportunities We also have strengths that need focussing on. Stop worrying about what you're not good at and stop doing those things. Sometimes this means hiring other people to do them for you-part time or full time. If you're bad with budgets and money, hire a bookkeeper to help you through it. If you're bad at marketing, hire someone to do it for you. If you're bad at selling, then hire a sales force and train them well. Just remember you must always at least know the basics of the job you are going to hire someone forÂ the idea is to lead by example- there's no point in hiring a bookkeeper if you are unable to read the books,or if you are unable to identify that they are doing the job you want or need them to do. There is no point in hiring a solicitor if you can't familiarise yourself with your basic rights. Only once you have identified weaknesses and strengths - and only when you can turn those in to opportunities being fully aware of what may threaten that opportunity of fulfilling itself are you be able to break through to new levels of revenue and income. If you can't admit your weaknesses or aren't willing to invest time in continuous improvement, you will never achieve significant growth. The same problems that haunted you at 25 will haunt you at 55.
Make a Commitment to lifelong learning Learn about yourself and others. Learn about your role, your purpose, your business, your job, or a new way to do your job or run your business more effectively .Learning toughens you more than any other activity. If you want to improve your business, the way you do business and increase the profitability of your business or you're in sales, learn all you can about business operations, sales and marketing, your customers, your markets, philosophy, and psychology. Constantly challenge your mind and you will see synchronicity in all things. Learning expands your mind (remember how we started, by saying that your mind is the secret to all of this income stuff?) It is. So you are responsible for doing the things that will expand it. Other people are not,your family is not. Your therapist is not. You are.
Be Curious and Keep an open mind When business opportunities arise, it can be easy to slip into denial as a safe place to hide, protecting yourself from becoming too successful. When you become conscious of an opportunity, you can either look away and say to yourself ‘that would never work;’ or you can look deeper and be curious. Looking deeper reflects honesty and empowerment rather than avoidance or denial. Curiosity is a powerful character. Find yourself saying, “Hmmm, how could that work better?” If you go to your bank and see a process that they could improve for their customers(you could probably make a living doing this, now that I think of it), write it down and call the VP of Operations and talk to him about it. If you are dissatisfied with a service ie your telecommunications company make an effort to discuss with CEO’s or executive management- don’t winge or complain- just show them and discuss what they could do better – they will welcome your support. This will give you practice at how you can “bring value.” Don’t tell the teller or the service agent! She/he could not care less. Call an executive and have a conversation. Practice at expressing your ideas.
No Approval Needed Be willing to ask tough questions you used to fear. You aren’t in the market place to get approval; you are there to help people discover and fulfil their needs. If they don’t approve of you, tough. Just go find someone else to help. Some people beat their heads against stone walls. Their ego gets involved and they say, “I know I can help this person.” Actually what the ego is saying is, “Won’t they love me and accept me if I help them solve this?!!!” Actually, no, they won’t. They don’t care about you. They have their own ego to protect and you don’t show up on that radar screen. So stop looking for approval. There isn’t enough of it to make you happy. You can get all you need from yourself as you bring more value to the market, and get paid for it. That doesn’t mean to intentionally annoy people. That’s not very ethical. It just means to change focus from you to them. It’s quite simple, once practiced. In other words adopt an attitude of consideration- think of others as well as yourself. Walk in their shoes and ask yourself if “Someone said that to me” or “did that to me” or “treated me that way” would that make me feel good? If the answer you come up with is no – THEN DON”T DO OR SAY THAT THING YOU WERE GOING TO SAY OR DO. Examples of thinking in consideration- if you have an outstanding bill that you are not able to pay in the moment or at the time that it is meant to be paid- do not ignore and say “mmmm I will pay this later” ring that business or person let them know where you are at – make arrangements – staying in communication is one of the greatest acknowledgements that you can serve on another – especially when you need to address uncomfortable or embarrassing situations
Unburden your Life Clear out the trash from your life so you are fully available to focus on discovering and solving your
prospects’ true problems. Your mind will wander when it’s cluttered with your own mental baggage. Telling the truth to your self is a good place to begin. Money doesn’t have a chance to show up if your life is hampered with clutter and mental baggage like, “I don’t deserve to earn more.” Or “ I’m not making enough sales” How many lose ends do you have? Any people- workers, contractors, employees, clients, customers even family members and friends you need to apologize to? Any tasks left undone that were promised a long time ago? Any money you owe people that needs to be paid or discussed? Any money owed to you by others that needs to be resolved? All of these are “hamperers” or “encumberances” that may mess you up. It doesn’t mean make amends in the next 24 hours. It means “be willing” to do it. And when the situation presents itself, do it.
Practice anti-ego behaviour The anti-ego approach is, “I’m OK with your business or without it. I have a passion for what I’m selling and I’d like you to be a part of it. However, it’s up to you.” By doing this, you give none of your own power away and your prospect is drawn toward you. Conversely, an egotistical approach is, “Buy from me. I know what’s right for you.” People love to be acknowledged. It leads to a form of recognition that money can’t buy. If you aren’t in front line sales, then you can change it to you are OK with or without this job. I’ve seen too many people who HATE their job but feel hostage to it. They are in the cycle of debt where they don’t feel free to pursue passionate careers. They get a job they hate, they are afraid to change, they retire, then they die.
Attract Income Towards You The PUSH method requires pushing people and things around until you have what you want. It takes a lot of time and energy and risks a negative response. The attract towards you method is simpler and more elegant. You act as if you are already at the results you visualize, and your ego is minimized. You offer and contribute so much that when you name your price it is a great deal for the buyer (whether that is a buyer of your product or your employer). Tell people that you are only interested in doing business with them if you can bring value to them. And that for you to know that, you’ll have to ask a lot of questions about their needs, problems and dreams. Then, you can decide if you can help them. Try that on an interview and watch them jump out of the chair to try to buy from or hire you. But that usually isn’t what happens. Instead the candidate blows smoke about how great they are and delivers a five page resume full of smoke. (Everyone knows it. But no one says it.) Attract income to you by drawing to you the people with the wherewithal to pay you. This is much too easy, right?
Maintain Streams of Opportunity This means having a multi-pronged approach to creating new dialogues with your customers, clients or prospects. Choose 3-5 of the following approaches that most appeal to you: referral from clients; telemarketing; cold calling; referral from alliances; advertising; seminars/work-shops; direct mail; endorsements; community events; informal networking and others. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Even if you’re employed by someone else, have a side business. Write books. Write ebooks on a topic
that you’re familiar with. Or write a book on a topic that interests you, but you’re not familiar with. The best writing can come from someone with a high curiosity about the subject matter.
Already be Wealthy, Prosperous and Successful In accepting the idea that you’re already wealthy in ideas, in business and in your personal life you draw even more towards you. When you look needy, you push people away, even though you may have the answer to their problem. When you give power to what you lack, your energy becomes focused on that instead of on abundance. Make it a habit to act successful, look successful and adopt habits from already successful people. When you feel Wealthy, prosperous and Successful you will draw more wealth, success and PROSPERITY to you.
Practice Abundance by Detaching
It’s OK if you don’t like my product; others will It’s OK if you don’t buy from me; others will It’s OK if you don’t like me; others will. It’s OK if you fire me; I’ll find better situations elsewhere. It’s OK if you disagree with me; I am not my opinions. It’s OK if you aren’t a prospect for me; others are.
Create Truthful Environments Your role as a business owner or sales person is to create an environment where your prospect (or anyone) tells you openly about their business problems in hopes you can solve them. If your prospect lies to you, just realize you haven’t created the environment for them to tell you the truth. Don’t blame them. There is little power in that. Your role is to get the truth. How can you possibly help someone by solving their problems if you don’t listen to them long enough to find out what they are? That’s “detachment” works so incredibly well, because it does so much for you, your associates, clients and customers. If you have a preconceived notion about something, you can’t listen with an open heart. Your listening will be filtered through your desires. Truth is powerful. It sets you free when you tell it. And it makes you money when you hear it.
Orient Your Customers/Clients to Your Process People are silently hoping to be led to buying from you. They will follow you but not if you keep them in the dark about your process. When you orient them to your process, they will be more comfortable and non-threatened in following that. You’ll know early if they qualify or not. Never assume they know your process. For example…let’s say you’re presenting another business on a new idea on how to save $30,000/year. You say “Mr. Client, I’d like to share with you an idea on how we can save you money. I think the savings could be as high as $30,000 but there are a few variables. What I’d like to do is share
my process with you, have you ask any questions you want, then we can get together and talk about how you'd like to move forward with it. Is that appropriate?" You just oriented your client to your procedure. You are in control of the data and bring more value because of that.
Know Why People Buy People buy for two reasons: to solve current or impending problem (pain) or to realize some kind of new opportunity or gain (pleasure). They both can be very compelling reasons. Your questions will lead them down one of these paths. The amateur assumes he knows what the pain is. The professional gets the prospect to reveal it. When you have an idea that will bring value to another (and increase the likelihood of you getting paid for it) then realize that it will be much more important for them if it does one of these two things: solve a problem or exploit a possibility. Understanding the human nature dynamic of decision processes will help you position your idea for maximum payout.
Be Sure to Have a Method In sales, we must have a method for selling. Here are some quick rules to this: The one with the most flexible method always benefits by the outcome regardless of what the outcome is. Be structured in your approach but not so much so that you are inflexible. One should be able to build an entire business around a selling method.Selling is the lifeblood of your business. It should have a big part in the Strategic Sales Plan for your company. The method needs to be contemporary and have profound psychological truths inherent within it. Don't try to sell against human nature. Many sales programs are set up to fail from the outset because they transgress the natural process of decision making. With a cognizant sales process,it will be easier to make corrections during flight. You can't change what you can't acknowledge. For more details on the cognizant sales process contact us at the The Academy of Sales Marketing and Business Management and find out about our personal business coaching programs.
Keep People OK Use terms like, "I don't know if this will help you." Or, "You may not even need us or our service." Or, The less you know,the safer your prospect will feels about sharing with you what he/she knows. Make it safe for your prospect to reveal his/I/her compelling reasons that will cause him/her to act and act quickly. 37
When people are not OK because you "come at them" they won't give you the time or tell you the truth.
Accept That Your Dreams and Other Peoples Dreams Matter Make it your business to find out what others around you want in life. Find out their vision for their life or their business and what, if anything, is holding them back. After you tell them your solution, ask if they think your solution can help them get there. But don’t ever convince them it does. Let them conclude that on their own. If the connection is too much of a stretch, then you won’t and can’t help them. That’s OK. You can move on at any time to pursue people who you can help. Never shy away from asking the most driving, personal questions. That’s how you connect their future with your service. When is the last time you asked someone, at an appropriate time, what their dreams were? Make a goal in the next week to connect with a few people around you and ask that question. Do it from a place of “curiosity.” Watch what happens to the depth of the dialogue. We are a society of shallow conversations. Practice going deep with people.
Remember You are Not a Commodity Keep yourself and your product from being viewed as a commodity “seen one—seen ‘em all.” Do this by identifying the prospect’s proprietary pain, which no one else knows or can solve. Your income expands in proportion to how well you remove yourself from the commodity dungeon. And you do so through talking about the issues your competition fears bringing up. What is one pain you solve that no one else solves? When you know that, abundance awaits. If you feel like you’re getting price-shopped then spend time in the drawing room redefining your offer so they can’t find anything to which to compare it.
Solve Problems in Advance If you’ve been in business over 24 hours, you know problems happen. You are also likely to know what they are—in advance. So it’s in your best interest to solve them before they happen. If your price is going to be a problem, address it up front. Your value in the relationship is to help them through the process. Solve problems early and make it easy on yourself and your prospect. If you feel they won’t be open to your ideas, bring it up upfront. It makes it so much easier to handle when it happens if you’ve addressed in advance.
Never Stop Looking For Problems Look for other problems to solve once the original problem is fixed. Unless you do that, you risk the relationship reverting to price or some other “limited thinking” instead of the big picture. The world is full of suppliers who solve a huge problem in June and have to battle price again in October. Life is too short for that. You are the one driving for more problems to solve. Make a list of all the problems you solve for your clients or for your business. Each month, make a list of the suggestions you will make to begin to solve these problems. Be proactive. In your email newsletter, address one problem per month that you have some solutions around. However, don’t give away everything in the one email.
Ask Nurturing Not Demanding Questions When you are about to ask a tough question, let people know it in advance. Example: “Mr. Smith, I always like to ask the question of why you are looking at this now. It will give me insight into your motivations. So can I ask you, —what was it that prompted you to be 38
interested in this in the first place?” Never interrogate. People get nervous and are not OK with anything that makes them feel like they are being interrogated. Be soft and gentle with your questions especially if you don’t know the person or the new business that well. Don’t allow the first question be, “what do you want your life to look like in five years?” Go easy. Or, if there is a question that you know will be emotional for your associate, then tell them you’re about to ask a tough question. Use these words: “Mr. Smith, I have to ask this question and it might be a little uncomfortable, so if you don’t want to answer it, then that’s OK.”
Listen More Carefully and Talk Less When you are talking, you aren’t hearing your prospect’s problems and opportunities. Speak 25% of the time, and have the other person talking 75% of the time. You will be more in control that way. You’ll also hear the prospect tell you how to sell them. Resist your ego’s need to tell them how much you know. Product knowledge gets you in trouble. Did you ever wonder why introverts make great sales people? Resist telling people how great you are and how much you’ve accomplished. That’s in the past. It doesn’t matter anyway—at least it doesn’t matter to them. Listen in the present so you can do something about the future.
Talk With The Right People Talking to the right people is vital. There is no point making great presentations to people who can only say “no.” You end up wasting valuable of hours doing that. I realize our ego is the problem. We are dying to have someone listen to us—so it’s better that it’s the right person than anyone else. Even when someone says, “Yes, Carol, I’m the person you should be talking to about this,” don’t believe them. People lie, most of the time to protect themselves and puff themselves up. Before you tell them about your ideas or ask them what problems they have, make sure they’re the right person. Make sure you are talking to a decision maker. Even if you have to ask them go ahead and ask. Eg “Excuse me but can you tell me if you will be able to make the final decision on purchasing our product?” people don’t bite – build up the courage. And the instant you find out they aren’t, politely, gently move on to the right person. Eg Oh Ok could you tell me who would be the person to make this decision?” If you’re a little afraid of this approach, that’s fine. If you’ve been doing it the old way for 40 years where you present to anyone who’ll listen, then think of how much time you’re wasted with the wrong people.
Get An Income/ Success Protégé Find someone that you can talk to about increasing income. About increasing your business profitability. Find people who is are “influencers” to help you through some of these tips. Nothing grows us like sitting with another human being and exploring this content. Find someone who is at an income level to which you aspire, but someone who has no immediate financial interest in your outcomes. In other words, don’t go to your current manager or business partners and advisers. Talk to someone totally objective to your circumstances on a frequent basis. Everyone loves to help someone who comes to them with a specific challenge. You’ll be doing them a favour too because they’re probably looking to do the same thing. Joining the Academy Sales Marketing and Business Management is a good place to start. 39
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Make Sure You Have A Plan Less than 10% of people have a financial plan Those that don’t have one, squander income and can never get above the water line. Think about how much income you’ve earned in your life so far. Let’s suppose you’re 40 years old and have averaged $50,000/year since graduating from college. In 18 years, you’ve earned $900,000. Nice. How much do you have saved or invested from that $900,000? Not so nice. A plan refocuses your efforts away from the day-to-day attitude of “making it till the end of the day, or the end of the pay period” to “what do I want to create with my earnings?” And maybe you don’t want to create anything with it. That’s fine. But are you giving yourself a choice? Most don’t. Get a planner to sit down and in one hour, do a simple plan that includes what you want to have when you retire, what you’ll need to save each year to do that, and what strategies you’ll employ. If you’ve never done it before, it WILL be depressing. Get over it. You have to do it sometime. Better to do it while you still have a chance to impact the end goal. Income has a way of moving to the secure. If you squander your money on ‘stuff’ and put nothing away, it senses that and leaves you alone. You don’t want income leaving you alone. You want it attracted to you.
Be Servant not A Taker Think of yourself as a servant to your customer, your employer, or your spouse. Now, part of being a servant is to provide value along the way. But in an open market society, it’s also up to you to take care of yourself so that you can continue to serve at the highest level. If you serve but the person you’re serving refuses to pay you, or pay you what you’re worth, then you have to move on. “find your personal unique advantage.” Companies have gone out of business because they’re afraid to raise prices because they don’t feel that would be good customer service. Ridiculous. Now they’re out of business and helping no one. Raise your prices. Raise your value. If your competitor is at $200/hour, then raise it to $300/hour, but make darn sure that you’re giving more value than what you are charging. Always over deliver.
Always but Always Charge the Right Price for your Product or Service Don’t be afraid to charge for your services. People tend to value things they pay more for. So if you’re a free agent or independent contractor, give great value, but send them an invoice for it. It keeps things clean. Learn not to undervalue yourself, your product or service and your business. Honor their desire not to pay for your value. But honor your wish to charge them your perceived value for the product or service. Some CPAs offered a discounted fee to clients as they began working with them. Then the fee would go up after one year. But when they got to the year, the client hated the increase. And they had trouble getting their new fee. Their question to me was “how do we position the fee increase?” Answer,-“don’t discount them in the first place.” Work on the expression of your value upfront so even at retail rates they feel like they’re getting a great value. Stop working on the wrong end of the problem. 40
Learn to sell on value not on price. A great formula to increase the price of your product in the market is to think in an add-on-value process. Eg a business that was specifically geared to sell patios recognised the domineering competitor was asking around the same price they were for the same or equivalent product. With some brainstorming it wasn’t too difficult to come up with that all their patios come packaged with 5 patio plants of choice and outdoor bar-b-que or outdoor setting. They repackaged their patios with these new products and came up with a new price for patios that exceeded their competitors- not just in price but in value – their sales increased that year by 35%.
Give Up Your Opinions Share your knowledge with your prospect only when it’s in your mutual interest to do so. Being too smart or too opinionated is in no one’s best interest. Don’t be a threat, but be a beacon of safety in the brutal world of business. The new breed of business person is careful about his eagerness to consult prior to getting paid. I know you have a lot of talent and expertise, but be protective of it. If people see you and your information as free, then it won’t be worth much to them. You voicing your opinions take’s up space that could otherwise be left to get their needs and problems on the table.
Give up Convincing and Persuading The world is full of persuaders. You can hear them coming a mile away. Advertisers, money raisers, salespeople. They are full of hype and don’t care much about other people’s issues. They care about what money others can give them. Recently, we attended a program for those interested in donating money to a cause. The cause was good. That’s why we were interested. The whole program was built around a guilt trip—if we didn’t contribute massive amounts we would be letting people down. You don’t get far with people with that sort of argument. Consider this- what if they took a different tact. What if they asked each person, “Why are you here today?” And went around and got people’s purpose for attending—having them verbalize it. Then, they could have crafted the message around those issues. True professionals would have anticipated what those issues were and could have written the program before hearing any of them—that is if they were serious about matching up the giving to the needs of the giver. However, they weren’t. They took the easy way out. They took the path of convincing and persuading. And the prospects in the room took the path of resistance and reluctance. Everyone lost. When you convince and persuade you cause people to be skeptical. Isn’t it funny that the approach you think is the right one actually pushes people away?
Have A Results Orientation There are tons of people in boardrooms right now who are sitting strategizing and reflecting on what’s possible in their business. Yet very few people go from the conceptual and the strategical to the tactical where one decides “what needs to be done to make this happen?” High level achievers have a sense of urgency and a results orientation that helps them to make things happen and get things done, do you? By the way this has nothing to do with personality style. You can be very laid back but still have a “results orientation” to your business. Make things happen, you’ll make more money. That also implies a tying up of lose ends and a finishing mentality. Do you have people in your organization who love to begin things—but they never finish? They don’t have a results orientation.
CONCLUSION Accept there is always More Application of these tips can easily be achieved when you are surrounded by processes that “keep you on your toes”. We all need brushing up and gentle reminders. At the end of the day we are all in the same business and that is we are in the “people business” and the sooner we understand to “do onto others as you would have them do onto you” and adopt this as a lifetime attitude the sooner you will see increased income, increased profitability and success at all you do. The above 50 INNER and OUTER TIPS are guidance to do exactly that. Joining the Academy Sales Marketing and Business Management provides the teaching of these tips as well as gentle reminders and “brushing up” workshops and training. To be amongst the leaders and people moving forward in the business world of today -Join today
Published on Oct 10, 2007