March 2011 Editor: Melissa Easley, CPS/CAP
Mind, Body, Spirit Melissa Easley, CPS/CAP
Perfectionism: Rethinking your Expectations Everyone uses that cliché line, “I give 110% effort, or time, or energy, etc” yet not only is this physically impossible, but it is a “nowin” situation. Perfectionism is a duel with yourself and a self destructive battle. There is a big difference between perfectionists and high achievers. Perfectionist believe that mistakes must never be made and that there is always a highest standard that must be achieved. High achievers find pleasure in trying to meet high standards and realize that the greatest learning comes through the mistakes along the way.
imperfect world. A perfectionist worker may spend so much time agonizing over some non-critical detail that a project misses its deadline. Myth 3: Perfectionists just have this enormous desire to please others and to be the very best they can. Reality: Perfectionistic tendencies often begin as an attempt to win love, acceptance, and approval. Perfectionist are driven by low self-esteem and are more likely to complicate their relationships. Psychologists find that perfectionists tend to be “allor-nothing” thinkers. This
type of thinking for flawless perfection in even the smallest tasks can become fearfully overwhelming. Coping Strategies for that little voice inside calling us to be perfect: 1.
3. 4. 5.
Make a list of the advantages and disadvantages of trying to be perfect. Increase your awareness of the self-critical nature of your all-ornothing thoughts. Be realistic about what you can do. Set strict time limits on each of your projects. Learn how to deal with criticism.
There are some commonly held myths about perfectionism that make life more difficult than need be: Myth 1: I wouldn’t be the success I am today if I weren’t such a perfectionist. Reality: Compulsive striving to be perfect hinders success with performance anxiety and depression. Myth 2: Perfectionists get things done and they do things right.
Mind, Body, Spirit………………1 Emotional Intelligence ……...2-3 Tips for CAP, CAP-OM………..3 Events Around Town……….…..4 President’s Message………...….5 Upcoming Events………...…...6
Reality: Perfectionists often have problems with procrastination, missed deadlines, and low productivity because of their frustration and anger with an
The magazine of IAAP: Insightful articles for today’s administrative professionals.
Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Five Key Skills for Raising Your Emotional Intelligence Emotional intelligence (EQ) is a different type of intelligence. It’s about being “heart smart,” not just “book smart.” The evidence shows that emotional intelligence matters just as much as intellectual ability, if not more so, when it comes to happiness and success in life. Emotional intelligence helps you build strong relationships, succeed at work, and achieve your goals. Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, use, understand, and manage your emotions in positive and constructive ways. It's about recognizing your own emotional state and the emotional states of others. Emotional intelligence is also about engaging with others in ways that draw people to you.
Emotional intelligence consists of four core abilities: • Self-awareness – The ability to recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior, know your strengths and weaknesses, and have selfconfidence.
ple, pick up on emotional cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a group or organization. • Relationship management – The ability to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict. Emotional intelligence is not learned in the standard intellectual way; it must be learned and understood on an emotional level. We can’t simply read about emotional intelligence or master it through memorization. In order to learn about emotional intelligence in a way that produces change, we need to engage the emotional parts of the brain in ways that connect us to others. This kind of learning is based on what we see, hear, and feel. Intellectual understanding is an important first step, but the development of emotional intelligence depends on sensory, nonverbal learning and reallife practice.
• Self-management – The ability to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.
Developing emotional intelligence through five key skills:
• Social awareness – The ability to understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other peo-
The first key skill of emotional intelligence is the ability to quick-
P A S S I O N AN D P U R P O S E
• Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 1: The ability to quickly reduce stress.
ly calm yourself down when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Being able to manage stress in the moment is the key to resilience. This emotional intelligence skill helps you stay balanced, focused, and in control–no matter what challenges you face. • Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 2: The ability to recognize and manage your emotions. The second key skill of emotional intelligence is having a moment-to -moment awareness of your emotions and how they influence your thoughts and actions. Emotional awareness is the key to understanding yourself and others. • Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 3: The ability to connect with others using nonverbal communication. Being a good communicator requires more than just verbal skills. Oftentimes, what we say is less important than how we say it or the other nonverbal signals we send out. In order to hold the attention of others and build connection and trust, we need to be aware of and in control of our nonverbal cues. We also need to be able to accurately read and respond to the nonverbal cues that other people send us. Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 4: The ability to use humor and play to deal with challenges.
Humor, laughter, and play are natural antidotes to life’s difficulties. They lighten our burdens and help us keep things in perspective. A good hearty laugh reduces stress, elevates mood, and brings our nervous system back into balance.
Resources for learn more:
http://eqi.org/eitoc.htm Emotional Intelligence ᾯ http://www.eiconsortium.org/ reports/guidelines.html
• Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 5: The ability to resolve conflicts positively and with confidence.
Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations
Conflict and disagreements are inevitable in relationships. Two people can’t possibly have the same needs, opinions, and expectations at all times. However, that needn’t be a bad thing! Resolving conflict in healthy, constructive ways can strengthen trust between people. When conflict isn’t perceived as threatening or punishing, it fosters freedom, creativity, and safety in relationships.
The five skills of emotional intelligence can be learned by anyone, at anytime. But there is a difference between learning about emotional intelligence and applying that knowledge to your life. Just because you know you should do something doesn’t mean you will—especially when you’re feeling stressed. This is especially true when it comes to the skills of emotional intelligence Jeanne Segal, PH.D, Melinda Smith, MA‐Reprinted with per‐ mission from HELPGUIDE.ORG.
YouTube Video of Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Be More than IQ
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Ethical Work and Life Learning http://www.criticalthinking.org/a rticles/ct-emotionalintelligence.cfm Critical Thinking and Emotional Intelligence http://www.youtube.com/watch? v=-hoo_dIOP8k
Tips and Hints for the CAP and CAP-OM Melissa Easley, CPS/CAP
When I began preparing for my CPS/CAP, I made a study plan which allowed me to cover one chapter in each of the review guides per week. During that week, I also read the textbooks from which the exams are written. Since many of these are also college-level textbooks, I quickly learned that most were over $100 a piece. I found an inexpensive way to get the books without spending a fortune, and I’m going to share that trick with you. A textbook goes into a new edition about every 2 or 3 years. This makes it possible to get the later editions fairly cheap. So for Human Resource Management by Gary Dessler, buy the 10th edition instead of the 11th or 12th. On Amazon.com or Half.com you can get great buys on used editions and still get the book that will give you the information you need for the exams.
Events Around Town
Crawfish Boil Friday, March 18,
Tuesday, March 8, 2011 Featuring more than 30 restaurants
5:30-8 p.m. at the Brazos County Expo Complex
Tickets: $25 General Admission (if you purchase before March 1, receive a $5 discount on each ticket!) or $40 "Premium" (grants you early entrance, one plate, two drink tickets, two entries into the door prize bucket, and a guaranteed seat in a reserved section)
and will feature crawfish as well as limited alternatives such as hamburgers and French fries. Tickets are $100 per couple, $75 individual proceeds benefitting the Brazos County Youth Livestock Sale.
TICKETS STILL AVAILABLE! bcschamber.org
For more information or to purchase tickets,
$25 at Chamber Office, H.E.B.,
Franchesca@bcschamber.org or 260-5200.
or at the door on event day. Category: Fair/Festival Date: March 5 Time: 10:00am - 6:00pm Cost: Free Phone: (512) 796-3213 Location: El Pueblo Marketplace , Bryan El Pueblo Marketplace, Bryan's only indoor / outdoor market, will hold it's grand opening festival on Saturday, March 5th. Come explore the market with over 19 vendors selling clothes, shoes, jewelry, purses, toys, pinatas, books, western wear, Mexican imports and more. Find great deals outside with our outdoor vendors. We'll have Ballet Folklorico dancers, a live remote broadcast from La Allegria radio station, and music from Aggieland Mariachis. Join us 10am-6pm at 2010 South College Avenue on the corner of South College and Carson
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Chapter Information and President’s Message
Follow Us: http://twitter.com/AggielandIAAP http://www.iaap-aggieland.org http://www.facebook.com/aggielandiaap
Notable Quotable “Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person. “ ~Dr. David M. Burns
A Message from the President One year ago this month, the Aggieland Chapter was chartered. It started with a handful of individuals who wanted to expand our opportunities and find a new direction for their continued growth. We are excited at the progress and growth of the chapter so far. It has not been an easy year and we have had more than our share of bumps in the road. I received the following story from a friend who served as President for a brand new chapter two years ago and it completely summed it up for me. I will share it with you now.
A young woman wanted to plant a field of bamboo. Year after year she would turn the soil around the delicate plants and cultivate the weeds, she’d water and add the nutrients to ensure the bamboo would grow. Even though the shoots were barely four inches tall, she continued her devoted attention. And at the end of the fifth year, the young woman’s field had exploded with growth, giving way to tall, hearty bamboo shoots…her field was truly magnificent. All along, the young woman knew it takes five years for bamboo to reach its full stage of development. The scenario is the same with a new chapter. I believe for a new chapter to be successful, it takes five years of nurturing and cultivating its members. In year one, the board has arranged programs that have provided quality continuing education and professional development: Effective Leadership: Setting Goals, Sexual Harassment, Employee Development Through Mentoring and Coaching, Tools for Social Media, Grace Under Pressure, Managing Through Change, Go Green With Avery, Office Ergonomics, and Advanced Communications. We continue to research speakers and topics to further develop the chapter’s root system. It is our number one goal to provide all the nurturing and cultivating necessary to ensure the Aggieland Chapter continues to grow and becoming stronger with each year. We are each responsible to aide in the development of the chapter’s ROOT SYSTEM! All of the Aggieland members are doing just that. You have shared the benefits with others and we have grown by 30%. It is exciting to know that WE ALL have such an impact on the future of our chapter. Thanks to each of you for helping our fields of bamboo grow and develop! We’ve had a very successful first year. P A S S I O N AN D P U R P O S E
Sheila Page 5
Upcoming Chapter Events
Karen McCullough http://www.karenmccullough.com/
“Your Personal Guides to Success in Work, Plan and Dress” Meeting to be at A&M System offices Either 3/24 or 3/31 11:30 – 1:00 *Confirmed date will be on the chapter website. Dortha Gray CPS/CAP
IAAP International Director,
Tuesday March 1st
President Sheila Dotson email@example.com 979-845-1649 Vice President Tammy Prater firstname.lastname@example.org 979-218-7034 Secretary Lisa Benavides email@example.com 979-436-0112 Treasurer Lea Ann Westmoreland firstname.lastname@example.org 979-845-7995
11:30 – 12:30 The Feed Barn Discussing Meeting Innovations Presenting :
“Developing Your Leadership Skills”
Aggieland Board meeting Tuesday March 1st , 5:30
April 27th 11:30 – 1:00
Centeq Bldg. A Suite 100
Courtyard Marriott College Station
Useful Phrase for the Office I might look like I’m doing nothing, but on a cellular level, I’m quite busy.~LOL
Aggieland Board meeting Tuesday April 5th ,5:30 Centeq Bldg. A Suite 100
For Info on RSVP: http://www.iaap-aggieland.org/IAAPHQ/Aggieland/MeetingsEvents/Default.aspx P A S S I O N AN D P U R P O S E