THE LOVE + SEX ISSUE
Afronoire is a London-based lifestyle publication for African and Caribbean women. The magazine celebrates the black womanâ€™s naturalness, success, beauty and sensuality. We want to unite, empower and inspire the black woman and encourage her to embrace who she is. The aim is not only to entertain you as readers but to also inform you. We want to create a conversation about the different issues that are directly part of our environment and bring awareness to the different matters that affects you â€“ as a black woman. I would like to thank you for taking an interest in the magazine and your well wishes. I hope that you will enjoy our content. AfroNoire is passion and a dream I brought into existence earlier than anticipated but something which I feel is much needed. We are now living in a world where I feel more negativity than positivity surrounds our women in the media, in our environments and this is something we need change. -
DEBORAH MARIE (Executive Editor)
ABOUT THIS ISSUE With February being the month when Valentine Day is celebrated and it being considered as being the month of love, it was only right that we dedicated the first issue of this magazine around the theme of love, romance and relationships. So prepare yourself for a grown-read on the topic of love and sex plus more.
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DEBORAH MARIE Executive Editor
PERIESA PALMER Creative Director
HAIR STYLIST Ama Monique of Ama Monique Agency
MAKE UP ARTISTS Samantha Mandar & Elizabeth Anifowose
PHOTO SHOOT STYLIST Drey Mark
PHOTO SHOOT PHOTOGRAPHER Rio-Romaine
MODELS Samantha Mandar | Courtney James | Katharina Barth
CONTRIBUTORS Candice Brown | Alexander Aplerku | Jodi Johnson | Clarissa Mitchell
SPECIAL THANKS TO Elorie Palmer | Kelvin Akposoe Pilar Nalwimba & Keleisha Simpson of MY Social Media PR
1 What makes other cultures attracted to the black woman?
2 Black love – The different definitions
3 Eating the cake – What’s the big deal?
4 Romantic gestures for your man
5 Interracial relationships
6 Editor’s top 5 handsome men
7 Afronoire’s Launch
MODELS: KATHARINA BARTH & COURTNEY JAMES | PHOTO TAKEN AND EDITED BY RIO-ROMAINE
WHAT MAKES OTHER CULTURES ATTRACTED TO THE BLACK WOMAN?
club; few nights back; as my friend and I rested our backs against the bar, our attention was instantly caught by two dark-skinned girls as they sauntered towards the DJ booth. My friend and I were identical in our drooling expression; but our difference lay in skin colour; I’m black; he’s white. This moment-of-attraction was instantly recalled when asked to discuss why other races find black women attractive. I recall thinking the exact same question as I noticed the lust of my friend towards these chocolate beauties. As a non-black, what made him desire these girls? The fixation of the world on the black man is so large at times that it’s easy to forget that the black woman is equally desired by those other than her own race. I believe this attraction surmounts to the following:
Firstly, the black woman is desired as an exotic creature; her beauty is beguiling. She is the other; the phrase ‘opposites attract’ instantly comes to mind. Just like white male photographer in Wole Soyinka’s play ‘The Lion and the Jewel’, other races see the black woman as a mystical creature that they want to capture; both artistically and sexually. The black woman is seen as a creature that other races even feel sometimes too inferior to approach. I remember later discussing those two black girls with my friend; and after telling him to go chat with them, he told me that they would never be into a ‘skinny white boy’ and that they would judge his appendage against the endowments of their male counterparts.
In addition, the black woman’s strength has always been a catalyst in other races seeing her as attractive. Joseph Conrad expressed this attraction for the black female warrior in heart of darkness ‘”She was savage and superb, wild-eyed and magnificent; there was something ominous and stately in her deliberate progress”, But this perception of strength has been perverted throughout history by the view of the black woman as beastlike; as a wild and man-like beauty that needs to be tamed; a wild beauty whose insatiable appetite needs to be met (this was indeed the excuse slave owners used for their continual rape of female slaves). In modern times, black girls are stereotypically seen as the ‘Angry black woman’ and her attitude seems to fuel the desire of non-black who want to rise up to the challenge to tame her attitude and appropriate her.
The attraction to the black woman is also closely linked to her body. Black women are often endowed with large a posterior which instantly draws the attention and sexual attraction from other races. In recent years, this has been at the detriment of black woman; who seem to be identifies by their ‘booty’ as opposed to the features of their mind or even face. Saartjie Bartman is evident that things never seem to change. And on the note of the black female as a circus freak, celebrity has had a large part to play with the attraction to black women from other races. The black female celebrity – even though she’s often forced to adapt herself to fit the European ideals – has become the new standard of beauty through her dominance in all areas of the entertainment industry, All you need to do is turn on the television and see the bombardment of Beyoncé fever; or see young Filipino boys goggling over Nicki Minaj’s assets. Through the bombardment of black female images in the media, non-blacks have been forced to see the black women as the new standard beauty; a beauty that white women are having to catch-up with: hence the surge of lip and butt injections. The black woman has been desired by other races throughout history, and it seems that attraction will continue to grow; I only hope that the reason will change. As I’m writing conclusion, I can see my young sister peripherally as she watches television, and I can’t help hope that she’ll be seen as desirable for her mind and achievements; and not just the body will eventually develop as a beautiful black woman. -
By Alexander Aplerku
this this but she
My skin is yellow My hair is long Between two worlds I do belong My father was rich and white He forced my mother late one night What do they call me? My name is SAFFRONIA My name is SAFFRONIA
My skin is tan My hair is fine My hips invite you My mouth like wine Whose little girl am I? Anyone who has money to buy What do they call me? My name is SWEET THING My name is SWEET THING
My skin is brown My manner is tough I’ll kill the first mother I see My life has been too rough I’m awfully bitter these days Because my parents were slaves What do they call me? My name is PEACHES
FOUR WOMEN – NINA SIMONE
BLACK LOVE The different definitions
he term ‘black love’ is a term that we have all come across and I couldn’t help but want to find out what the term means to each individual. Although the term is self-explanatory, its meaning and where it comes from I believe is complex just as it is simple to comprehend and decipher. We asked different people what they understood by the term ‘black love’, what they it meant to them. Below are my favourite definitions.
“Huey P. Newton described the act of Black Love between a woman & man as the most revolutionary act we can partake in” “Black Love for me is essentially and firstly about love of self, and of one’s culture. Knowing the reasons why it is possible for you to be here allows you to love on a higher spiritual level. There are many different levels of love, the love to and from a mother and child which is intrinsically known and is everlasting and unconditional, the love of other humans which is also unconditional as a child and can change as you get older and wiser. Love between siblings which can often be turbulent but due to the family connections can never die. The love between a man and a woman for me, especially an African (Black Man) and Woman is totally beautiful. Now, I acknowledge that each race may say this about their own but as it is symbolises me and reflects me, I am going to be more attracted to it. The individual’s spiritual connection for me depends on how deep the love can be as there is an overstanding of purpose, duty, and all of nature’s laws. For me, Black Love embodies many things, overstanding, teaching,
balance, learning, humbleness, patience, guidance, the ability to share, support, encourage and to stand firm around beliefs and cultural values that other may not overstand.” – NYARAI (London)
“I deploy the term to mean the love and loving that Black folks do with one another that builds affirmation and community. This applies to heterosexual couples, families; love between friends, same gender loving folks, and between people that may not be familiar with each other. To me this is especially crucial for Black folks since we live in an anti-Black world generally and society in particular. So to love and affirm each other in the face of anti-Black assaults (from within and outside of the “community”) is not only necessary and important but revolutionary!” – FREEDOM1804 (Instagram)
What does the term mean to you? Is it right to label the love between a black woman and a black man as being ‘black love’? Why can’t it just be love? Where do you think this label stems from? Is ‘black love’ discriminative? Is labelling our love as being ‘black’ another way of us a people to reclaim and/or own a sentiment that historically and stereotypically we are thought to lack by some?
By Deborah Marie
*Email us: at email@example.com to let us know what your thoughts are. We will feature your responses in our ‘Love & Sex’ digital issue.
Ama Monique Agency Glow Hair Salon 63 Southwark Park Road | London | SE16 3TY
EATING THE CAKE What’s the big deal?
peaking from personal experience, in my teenage years oral sex was never a thing I would brag about giving. Receiving? I could not even imagine a man wanting to venture down there with his mouth. But as I matured, so did my sexual requirements and now, I couldn’t imagine my life without some good old cunnilingus and before you question, of course I believe in reciprocity and my other half will vouch for the fact that I have a habit of blowing his…mind.
With salacious music, even sexier video’s and social networking having us want to out sex each other, you’ll be forgiven for thinking that ‘Eating the Cake’ was something that just happened. A bit like bread at any reputable restaurant, you need not make any special requests, that starter came with the meal, free of charge. But some people are still wheat intolerant.
There are still some men out there, roaming the streets in 2013, who when it comes to pleasuring their woman using their tongues, are not about that life.
Having spoken to more men than I can remember, I am still shocked when one of them is proud to let me know that they do not ‘bow down, eat out’ they each have various reasons, although they are quite clear that if a woman does not entertain Oral sex, they will not entertain her.
After some diligent investigation, it became quite clear what the problem is. These men still believe that performing such a sex act on a woman, deducts from their overflowing masculinity account. Just the idea of having to be in a physical position, where it looks as if they are bowing to a woman, leaves them uncomfortable. With society now finally getting behind women’s rights and at least trying to project the idea of equality, these men feel that this is the only thing they can hold onto, to feel like a man.
I get it. As a teen, I couldn’t fathom putting my mouth there. Beyond that I couldn’t imagine getting any pleasure from that. And of course back then, the idea of sex was a bout pleasuring one’s self. As we develop and create sexual experiences that last a lifetime, most of us begin to understand that sometimes, the sexiest thing is in the giving. As a woman I can say without doubt that nothing satisfies me as much as satisfying my other half. And I know, that this comes from truly understanding and wanting to express ‘Love’ which brings me to the other notable difference; between the men that eat the cake and those that don’t; the ones that do understand the difference between sex and Love. They understand that Love is about compromise and about giving. Through that, they have learned to endure and then enjoy performing Oral sex on their woman because they want to show that they are capable of forgetting about themselves and giving their lady what they want, or in most cases, inclusive of my own- need. So for those men reading this, who are still selfish enough to suggest that woman give that side of herself to you, without expecting anything in return, I salute your boldness and then I mock your stupidity. And for the ladies reading this, who are in a sexual relationship that they don’t deem entirely satisfying, may I remind you that it’s okay to leave. Take a leap of faith and go and find you a man who won’t only bake the cake but eat it too.
By Candice Brown
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ROMANTIC GESTURES For your man
e love that February is a month of love. With Valentine Day gone, we hope that you are still feeling the love and that going the extra mile to please your man won’t just stop here! It shouldn’t surprise you that men think a lot about sex more, they like to experiment, be surprised, taken care of and made to feel like kings. As his woman, it is your responsibility to cater to your man’s needs. Know what he likes, what his fantasies are and surprise him by making one of them a reality for him. Here are some gestures your man may appreciate. These are just a few gestures you show will be appreciated type of man he is.
ideas. The romantic towards your man depending on the
SWEET & AFFECTIONATE MAN Why don’t you send him secret love notes or hidden ones? An affectionate/sweet man loves to be pampered hidden note.
DARING, ADVENTUROUS & BAD MAN Sexual & interesting, fun, exciting, new, thrilling! Fulfil his number one fantasy. You will of course need to know your man in order to know what this fantasy is! Make it happen!
NERDY & SHY What about a movie or games night? Playing games and being innovative with a twist whilst doing some of his favourite thing is bound to make him feel nice.
BUSINESS MAN Go the extra mile; book a weekend getaway for both of you. Have him meet you there. Greet him in his favourite lingerie or better yet in one of his white work shirts, unbuttoned of course, wearing his favourite perfume of yours and watch, chain or other piece of jewellery you have purchased for him.
PLAYING DRESS UP
SENDING HIM PICTURES
Meet him at the door one night, dressed in a sensually sexual outfit. Wearing the outfit in his favourite colour, shows thoughtfulness and might excite and make him even happier. Be there to greet as soon as he opens the door, kiss him softly, take his bag, take him by the hand and lead him to where you want him to be. You should know what to do from here onwards ;)
No, it isn’t what you’re thinking. Well it could be. Sending sensual pictures of his favourite body parts of yours in different lingerie and make him choose what you should wear for your next rendez-vous. Make him anticipate by giving him something to look forward to!
PAMPER HIM Most men wouldn’t like to admit or succumb to the fact that they would like to be treated sweetly but secretly they do. So if he’s had a hard day at work or not don’t nag him. You should be able to read him. Prepare him a nice bath; get your massage oils ready to relieve the tension and stress in his muscles when he comes out of the bath. Although everyman needs this, this type of treatment is perfect if your guy is the sweet and affectionate type of man.
OTHER GESTURES HE WILL DEFINITELY APPRECIATE -
Cooking meals – have his favourite meal or foods in the house you share or when he comes around to see you. One of the many ways to a man heart is through his stomach Buy him tickets to his favourite even: football match, concert, gallery showing etc. Organise a pub night or plan something for him and his friends (don’t always make it about you, they will appreciate you more for it)
Ladies, what are some of your favourite things to do for your man? Fellas, what are some of your favourite things to do for your woman?
By Clarissa Mitchell & Deborah Marie
MODELS: KATHARINA BARTH & COURTNEY JAMES | PHOTO TAKEN AND EDITED BY RIO-ROMAINE
ur diverse and multicultural society gives us the privilege of learning first-hand about other cultures as opposed to accepting stereotypical views. This makes it easier for people from different backgrounds to mingle and get to know each other. Clearly there has been a societal shift in the way we view interracial relationships and many are open to the possibility of dating those from other races. Having said that, some individuals are still sceptical, arguing that it is best to ‘stick to your own.’
Undoubtedly interracial relationships are challenging. As humans we tend to frown at the idea of change as it is human nature to fear of ‘the unknown.’ However this should not be seen as a problem but a challenge. The process of getting to know someone from a different culture when dating is the same, just with a bit more effort. In fact it should be an exciting experience one as you will learn about a new culture and possibly a new language.
There’s of course the argument that that the idea of interracial relationships messes with the order of society. Although views are changing, some are still scared of breaking the ‘race barrier.’ This isn’t necessarily a racist view as some of us just prefer our own! Having said that, your reluctance to date outside your race shouldn’t be solely based on fears. What happens if you happen to connect with someone from a different culture? Do not allow ‘old fashioned’ way of thinking to deny you your right to happiness.
Shape your own opinions on interracial relationships. Without us actually thinking about it ourselves we take on the views of others like family and friends. The views of those around you are important however when it comes to choosing a partner, this should be entirely your choice. It would be misleading for me to say that society is completely accepting of interracial relationships as you do get the odd looks and sly comments. However this is true for all things ‘different.’ Do not allow the opinions of others to overshadow yours.
The world is increasingly becoming a diverse place. We have to become a people who think beyond the lines of race and colour. In the end, one’s pursuit of true love and happiness must serve as the ultimate deciding factor concerning relationships.
Date whoever you choose, live, love and be happy!
By Jodi Johnson
Alright this is uh, a little somethin I been workin on It's new I call it uh, "A Blues For Nina"
Say baby, can I be your slave I've got to admit girl, you're the shit girl And I'm diggin' you like a grave Now do they call you daughter to the spinnin post, or Or maybe Queen of 2,000 moons Sister to the distant, yet risin' star Is your name Yimmy-Ya Oh hell nah, it's got to be Oshun Ooo, is that a smile me put on your face child Wide as a field of Jasmine and Glover Talk that talk honey, walk that walk money Hound legs that'll spank Jehovah Shit, who am I? It's not important But they call me Brother to the Night And right now I'm the blues in your left thigh Tryin to become the funk in your right
Who am I? I'll be whoever you say But right now, I'm the sight raped hunter Blindly pursuing you as my prey And I just wanna give you injections, of sublime erections And get you to dance to my rhythm Make you dream archaetypes, of black angels in flight
Upon wings, of distorted, contorted, metaphoric-jism Come on slim Fuck yo' man, I ain't worried about him It's you who I wanna step to my scene Cause rather than deal with the fallacy Of this dry ass reality I rather dance and romance your sweet ass, in a wet dream Who am I? Well they all call me Brother to the Night And right now, I'm the blues in your left thigh Trying to become the funk in your right Is that alright
A BLUES FOR NINA â€“ DARIUS (LOVE JONES)
EDITOR’S TOP 5 HANDSOME MEN
hen it comes to men there is nothing I love more than an imperfectly handsome man. There’s just something about the energy they exude! The men on this list happen to be actors or musicians – me being a Romantic of words, the arts; their talent, masculinity, calmness, passion portrayed through their personas is what makes me melt.
COMMON I love me a man who is musically talented in the art form of rap music and whose music isn’t always misogynistic, full of unnecessary curses but full of lyrics illustrating the human condition in all its different aspects and is enlightening. Is it me or does this man has a perfectly shaped bald head with a perfect facial hair and a dazzling smile? Those freckles of his are the most precious and beautiful thing ever.
CURTIS ‘50’ JACKSON I can’t bring myself to listen to violent rap music unless it’s Tupac’s. Go figure, if you can’t, ask me why. Only liking a few of 50’s songs and praising and admiring him as Curtis Jackson – the entrepreneur is what makes this man oh so very attractive. Not to forget that perfectly arched right brow of his, the dimples, especially the one in the cheek where he got shot (I know!) that reveals themselves when just smiles. He is 100% my type. I believe we will cross paths and marry. (No, I’m not crazy!)
MATT BOMER I can’t even find the words to describe how beautiful this man is. His character on ‘White Collar’ entices me even more. The most beautiful gay man ever!
MICHAEL EALY Perfection upon perfection! Blues eyes, beautiful hair, perfect face and features! Oh and did you see him in ‘Think Like A Man’ with Taraji P. Henson? HAWT!! He even managed to remain handsome and sexy whilst playing the role of a disturbed war veteran suffering from PTS.
DB WOODSIDE Nothing makes me happier than a black man! It helps when that black man is as dark chocolate (yes I said it!) and his name happens to be DB Woodside. Where do I even begin with this man? I fell in love with him after watching him on the American series ‘Single Ladies’. Seeing him play the role of Malcolm and seeing him in those dark navy blue suits on camera, the dimples in his cheeks, his body leaves me shifting and howling in my seat! His lips, gaze, beard, everything is perfect!
DISCLAIMER The images used in the articles were obtained from the internet and do not belong to Afronoire and arenâ€™t being used for commercial purposes or gain. The images used as the front cover and the image of the interracial couple, belongs to Afronoire Ltd and cannot be used for commercial used and must be credited appropriately when used at all times.
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