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Marriage is a school with no graduation, a relationship where you continually discover the joys of life. take deliberate steps to protect and honour it. In this insightful booklet Daniel

Chuunga, motivational speaker and pastor, provides guiding principles for creating a fulfilling marriage. These principles include: • Be honest with your spouse • Appreciate your spouse • Play with your spouse

SECRETS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE

B

uilding a happy marriage is a full-time task requiring both husband and wife to

• Enjoy sexual love with your spouse This booklet will help you to rejoice in the experience of marriage. Take time to browse through these principles which can enrich your marriage and give your home life the priority it deserves. ISBN 978-0-9870195-3-0

PUBLISHING CO. 9 780987 019530

DANIEL CHUUNGA

Africa

DANIEL CHUUNGA


SECRETS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE DANIEL CHUUNGA

Africa

PUBLISHING CO.


SECRETS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE Daniel Chuunga Copyright © 2012 Africa Publishing Company ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Africa Publishing Company PO Box 111, Somerset Mall, 7137, South Africa Tel: +27 (0)21 8527656 Cell: +27 (0)83 5704585 Fax: +27 (0)86 5022980 Email: info@africacopublishing.com Unless otherwise marked, Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission. Full or partial reproduction by any form or by any means whatsoever is prohibited. The violation of copyright is a crime. ISBN: 978-0-9870195-3-0 Publisher: Marcos Cruz Editor: Cindy Hurlow Published in South Africa Notice: The publisher offers this book to the public in the hope that it will provide information and guidance to the benefit of the reader. However, the reader should keep in mind the role of professional advisors who are authorized to analyse clients’ individual circumstances and are qualified to provide the best possible advice in each case. The publisher declines all responsibility should a problem occur from the reader’s use of this book.


CONTENTS Introduction

3

Appreciate your spouse

19

Make marriage a life-long commitment

5

Respect your spouse

21

Be honest with your spouse

9

Play with your spouse

23

Listen to and understand your spouse

11

Enjoy sexual love with your spouse

25

Do not allow others to come between you and your spouse

13

Let God rule

33

Attract your spouse

17

References

34


INTRODUCTION M

arriage can be a fragile relationship that requires both husband and wife to be conscious of how to protect it. It requires deliberate steps to honour it to the glory of God and to the happiness of each other. Some couples assume that happiness in marriage happens automatically. While many marriages flourish for a few years, after several years the couple often begins to experience marital earthquakes and tornadoes. Clearly, both husband and wife need to put in the effort required to create a joyful marriage. Michael Penetar states: “It makes no difference how successful you are as a businessman, lawyer, accountant, skilled worker…If your home life is not happy, you are not going to be happy because the home is number one. Everything springs from the home.”1 The book in your hands will help you to protect the relationship in which you rejoiced when you first got married. Take time to browse through these principles which can enrich your marriage and give your home life the priority it deserves.

3


MAKE MARRIAGE A LIFE-LONG COMMITMENT W

hen two people come together in matrimony, they become one flesh. Separation or divorce is devastating, breaking hearts and creating disillusionment. For this reason, regardless of the challenges prevalent in marriage, make it a life-long commitment. Enter into marriage with a firm resolve to stay in it, saying to yourself, “Whatever I will face, I will persevere and stay in the relationship.” Helen Westlake says: “It is easy to marry. Staying married is difficult. The building of a happy marriage is a full-time task….The commitment of marriage is a stepby-step process.”2 Marriage is a school with no graduation, a relationship where you continually discover the sorrows and joys of life. Because we are human, mistakes in marriage will happen. But this does not mean that marriage is an outdated relationship. Never conclude that you are married to the wrong man or woman because of problems you may encounter in your relationship. When you discover faults in your mate, don’t back out. Moods and feelings which are negative and unkind may surface in a relationship but it is up to the couple to make the decision that divorce is not the right choice. Some couples divorce, hoping for a better relationship, but only find themselves in a worse predicament than before. There is no reverse gear in marriage.

5


6


When you have made a commitment to be attached to your mate no matter the circumstances, you have to protect your relationship. Marriage is a covenant and not a contract. It is a relationship in which husband and wife must accept each other for better or worse, in prosperity or adversity, till death do them part.

7


BE HONEST WITH YOUR SPOUSE T

he best insurance policy for a marriage relationship is faithfulness. Husband and wife should be honest with each other. Trust and integrity between you and your spouse is the best way to protect your marriage. Marriage is not about competition, but about complimenting your companion. It is not about winning an argument, but about maintaining a relationship of integrity. Marriage entails being transparent and honest in all aspects of marital life, including finances, feelings, and sex. Be sure to always speak the truth in your marriage. You will protect your relationship when you set an example in the area of being honest.

9


LISTEN TO AND UNDERSTAND YOUR SPOUSE I

n marriage it is vital to listen to and understand your mate in both jovial and serious moments. Because God created two ears and one mouth we might assume that we are to spend more time listening than talking! Listening will help you to understand your partner and also help you to answer questions correctly. Listening calls for self-discipline. It requires that when your spouse is talking, you need to keep quiet and pay attention. This therefore means that the husband and wife should never talk at the same time because neither will listen to what the other is saying. Don’t interrupt your mate when he or she is talking. Don’t say, “I know what you are going to say,” as though you are a mind-reader. Don’t fight for ‘airtime’ when talking to your mate. Be patient and listen to the views of your partner. Give your companion a chance to air his or her feelings. Understanding your partner’s point of view goes beyond listening. Steven Covey explains: “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. They’re either speaking or preparing to speak. They’re filtering everything through their own paradigms, reading their autobiography into other people’s lives.”3 Listening means being willing to take action or to adjust your thoughts or behaviour to meet the needs of your spouse. Understanding is putting yourself in your partner’s shoes.

11


Marriage is a school with no graduation, a relationship where you continually discover the joys of life. take deliberate steps to protect and honour it. In this insightful booklet Daniel

Chuunga, motivational speaker and pastor, provides guiding principles for creating a fulfilling marriage. These principles include: • Be honest with your spouse • Appreciate your spouse • Play with your spouse

SECRETS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE

B

uilding a happy marriage is a full-time task requiring both husband and wife to

• Enjoy sexual love with your spouse This booklet will help you to rejoice in the experience of marriage. Take time to browse through these principles which can enrich your marriage and give your home life the priority it deserves. ISBN 978-0-9870195-3-0

PUBLISHING CO. 9 780987 019530

DANIEL CHUUNGA

Africa

DANIEL CHUUNGA


Secrets for a Happy Marriage