conversation #1 a.k.a weird starbucks conversation Man #1: So apparently in the lost chapters of the new testament that were edited out of the Bible Jesus blew up a snake. Friggin sweet. Man #2: Those texts were deemed heretical by the Gnostics because they thought Jesus was a false prophet and that’s the reason they’re not in the Bible. They’re not cool and they’re not credible. Man #1: What about the dragon killing? Man #2: Ok, that’s a little cool. But there’s weird s**t like a kid who bumps into him on a street keels over dead and he ages some dude for messing with a pool of water. What the f@%k is that about? Man #1: *laughs* Well it’s clear why they kept these out of the canons. But Jesus is teaching the teachers in it too, all of these weird things. Do you think that’s where they got the saying “knowledge is power”? Man #2: Haha yeah right and it’s divine power. Apply yourself kids! If you do, someday you can part the seas too! Man #1: Awesome! *laughs* So what sect do you fall under, ‘cause I’m totally Christian. Man #2: Same here, although I don’t believe in any of the new testament Apocrypha but I think the old testament non-Gnostic writing is really intriguing and is what I need religously. It’s really important to me to study other cultures beliefs too though so I’m actually taking a Religious Studies course this fall. Man #1: Oh, I took that once and it sucked. My teacher just talked about cartoons and didn’t talk about the topic at all. Hey that reminds me. When are the new Ben 10 episodes airing? I haven’t seen one in forever. Man #2: February 4th. I think but I’m not sure. I need more coffee. Man #1: That’s too long! And it’s too damn expensive to buy the whole set so I just end up waiting till I find them in some bargain bin. I gotta go, I’m gonna be late for my class not that that would be a bad thing.
Man #2: Ok, see ya later. Man #1: Bye.
Conversation #2 Outside a hall in the psychology building. Man: This is crazy. She should have just let them do the quiz first and then watch the stupid demo. Woman: Yeah, but it doesn’t matter to me cause regardless I’m getting brownie points for the future by sitting here and being patient. Escort these kids back and forth in any order with no fuss, maybe an internship later. Man: Yeah, but I really don’t need this, I got roped into it by my roommate. Woman(to someone else): Whatever you want to do go ahead as along as you get done within the hour because I need to be out of here then. Thanks Man: You’re supposed to do the demo before the quiz that’s like the fifth person that’s asked. How difficult is this concept people. Jesus. Were you just getting your brownie badge? Woman: Ha, hey yeah definitely. How long are you looking after the little ones? Man: Till 5:30. But at this rate she’s not gonna finish with them all till like 6 and I’m not staying past my dues. That shit isn’t gonna go down too smoothly with me if she makes me. Woman: Ha yeah, ..... Man: You free Saturday? My frat is having this sick party for this new guy Tony. It’ll be really cool Woman: Sorry, I’m busy. I have this huge exam to study for but thanks for the offer. Maybe Jodie over there would be interested.
Man: oh, okay. I’ll check later. You want to take group 1 and I’ll take group 2. Woman: That sounds lovely. Thank you. Ok, everybody in group 2 line up over here. We’ll be going up to the demo room in under three minutes.
Published on Feb 4, 2011
Two overheard conversations typed out word for word. Ranging from the utterly bizarre to slightly tamer college hallway chatter.