a fairly current affair ELLIOTT HOSKIN sums up the latest political shenanigans art by daisy freeburn
I was so hoping that I would not have to begin this piece by talking about Scott Morrison, Manus Island or Operation Sovereign Borders (or was that Murders?). But the tragic and avoidable death of 23-year-old Reza Berati, an asylum seeker from Iran has made that impossible. (I am 23. Mr. Berati died whilst attempting to flee persecution to live in Australia at my age. This is really messing with me.) His death was due to a riot, which was caused by a group of enraged locals, but it is unclear to what extent Australian workers at the detention center were involved. Under the guise of ‘operational security’, Mr. Morrison has been able to hide many key details from what occurred on February 20th, including Mr. Berati’s cause of death and where he was when he died. Expect any further facts that come to light to be more damaging to the Australian government’s current asylum seeker policy. Despite previous government’s best efforts, there is amazingly still a company that is not foreign owned operating in Australia. Qantas, the national carrier, has been all over the headlines after an announcement by Prime Minister Tony Abbott that the restrictions on foreign ownership on Qantas were to be lifted, following Qantas’ falling profits and a new proposal of 5000 job cuts. Qantas is already on board with the concept, but the Opposition is firmly against it, fearing that it may lead to Qantas planes being serviced overseas, creating further job losses within Australia. At the first announcements of Qantas’ trouble, the government was quick to attack the previous government’s ‘Carbon Tax’ as the cause for all of Qantas’ woes. However, Qantas released a statement that confirmed that the Carbon Tax had nothing to do with it. The report instead pointed to the high Australian dollar caused by the mining industry as the key factor.
Qantas CEO, Alan Joyce, flipped on the issue two days later, saying that the tax was indeed to blame. Is it possible that the CEO of a company not knowing why the company is failing may also be, in part, to blame? Environmentalists all over Australia were shocked last week when Tony Abbott announced that he believed Australia might have too many National Parks, and that forestry industry workers are the ‘ultimate conservationists’. Referring mainly to Tasmanian forests, Mr. Abbott said at a dinner on March 4th that, ‘we have quite enough locked up forests already. In fact, in an important respect, we have too much locked up forest.’ It appears that being either a shark or a tree in Australia is a very dangerous pastime under this government. Western Australian Greens Senator, Scott Ludlam, gave a hugely critical speech in Parliament in the lead up to the senate by-election. The speech had some excellent smack-talking, with Mr. Ludlam inviting Mr. Abbott to WA, but only if he left his ‘incredibly boring three-word slogans at home’. The senator went on to label the Prime Minister as homophobic and racist. Quoting it in this article really doesn’t do it justice; you have to watch it for yourself. At the time of going to print, the SA state election is still upcoming. It’s easy to forget with all the Federal uproar that Australia has a second-tier of government. Polling is showing that it may be Liberal election victory, ending the Labor party’s four terms in control. A dishonourable mention must be given to the Stable Population Party. The placard that says, ‘DEVELOPERS LAUGHING BUT YOU ARE SCREWED’, but replaces the word ‘screwed’ with a picture of a screw and the letter ‘d’, may be the worst piece of political advertising anyone is likely to see. Until next issue - where we may be living in a world governed by new state overlords - adios!
Elliot asks all the questions dads do, makes all the jokes dads do and is shockingly not actually a dad. He is average height for a woman.
INSIDE: Face-blindness, Defence Force at universities, Abbott and the ABC, CFS, Beyonce, Biscuits.