It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was not the age of wisdom, but the age of foolishness. It was the epoch of staying up until dawn cramming; the season of bleary eyes and floods of memes posted to Overheard at the University of Adelaide, a winter of despair; the seven stages of death/ grief occurring within the hour prior to the start (and due date) of your final assignment. And so it was, and always will be, that the smell of pea straw and something vaguely like sheep shit shall blanket Wayville, that one unfortunate savvy soul shall smash their bottle of VOS water, that old m9 shall curtly infor m us Maths has left an equation off the paper again – all of these things a reminder that you are but fodder for the system to lure in, mangle and spit out a new being. But fear not – for now you are ar med with a decent list that will provide approximately 4.35 minutes of procrastination. If you so choose to tick something off the following list, many more minutes will follow, until you realise you’re up shit creek. And when you do, don’t blame me because I’ll be sur vival backstroking right past you on my way to a fountain of tears. This is exams.
PICTURES CAME A N D BR O K E YO U R H E A RT Like listening to Hit107fm whilst working at your menial job, or facebook stalking your ex’s suspected new fling, there comes a point where you have to stop or else question what you’ve become. This is where you pause the study and hit play on your new addiction: Netflix (and Youtube). You need to be picky with what you choose – becoming addicted to House of Cards or True Detective requires a lot of attention and thought. So, for frothy, lighthearted lols I lay my cards flat to you by way of: •
Parks and Recreation (Nick Offer man, aka Ron, also has a Vimeo series called My Tales of W hisky. Excellent.)
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Freaks and Geeks
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Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee
If you love any of the above, you will most likely enjoy Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt – a new comedy written by Tina Fey which follows the life of a woman who is freed from an underground cult and let loose in Manhattan to begin a new life. Even if you’re awake until 3am with toothpicks to prevent your eyes from sealing shut in slumber, it’ll all be worth it for the motivation you’ll receive by way of Kimmy’s life lessons, and her sassy friend Titus with his household bucket of glitter and hilariously ridiculous lines.
18 How to Exam