Tuesday, August 13, 2019 B7
Man’s actions when drinking very inappropriate Sometimes when my husband has been drinking, he does things I consider inappropriate with his cousin and childhood friend “Jasper.” The most recent incident involved my husband pulling down his pants and showing Jasper his private parts. Later that DEAR ABBY night he tried to grab Jasper’s crotch. To me, Jasper seems slightly uncomfortable, but he just laughs it off. When I confronted my husband about it, he said I was overreacting and he was “just messing around.” I don’t think he’s gay, but it almost feels like he is cheating on me. Am I overreacting, and what should I do? Confounded In The Midwest
Your husband’s immature behavior “sometimes when he has been drinking” is EXTREMELY inappropriate. How many times has this occurred? Listen to your gut and get to the bottom of this because it appears you are married to a problem drinker who may need help. A few years ago, my mom and I started a book club. For the most part, it’s been a lot of fun. But one member, “Maeve,” has to be the smartest person in the room no matter the topic. She often belittles other members she considers less educated than she is. She also frequently doesn’t read or finish the book. She uses the excuse of, “Oh, I read that years ago, and I didn’t have time to review it again.” Maeve is retired, and I don’t mean to judge what she does with her time but, if all of us who are working can find time, surely she can too. Abby, would it be terrible to ask her to leave the book club? Every other member has complained to either me or my mom about Maeve. What should we do?
Book Addict In The South Talk privately with Maeve. Tell her how her actions have made the rest of the members uncomfortable and give her some examples. Then tell her that if she can’t keep up with the reading and contribute in a positive manner — which is the reason the club was formed — she should withdraw. I am a happily married woman. After 45 years of working full time and raising three great children, I decided to retire. I loved working and raising my children, and I am now thoroughly enjoying my retirement. I do not yet have grandchildren, and my days are quiet and simple, which is fine with me. My husband and I enjoy little things — the crossword puzzle, discussing the news, going to a play or concert and enjoying the company of our children and extended family when we get together. The problem? My working siblings and their spouses constantly ask, “So, what are you doing with your time?” If I say, “Enjoying each day as it comes,” they scoff and say, “So, you’re just doing NOTHING?! Are you ever going to work again?” It makes me feel sad and judged, and I don’t know how to respond. What can I say to these folks who think I’m “doing nothing”? Lost For Words In New Jersey You can feel sad and judged only if you allow it. All you have to say to these people is, “I’m finding plenty of things to devote time to — spending more time with my husband, chief among them — and I’m wallowing in it!” Then smile.
CPAP can help with sleep apnea and its symptoms How are sleep apnea, sighing and heart failure related? Recently, I was told that I have severe sleep apnea and that I must use a CPAP machine. I have noticed that during the day I frequently take a spontaneous deep breath. Is that sleep apnea while awake? I have coronary heart disease TO YOUR and have three stents. Will the GOOD HEALTH CPAP machine help me in any way?
DR. KEITH ROACH
It’s complicated. By far, the most common type of sleep apnea is obstructive sleep apnea. This happens in people who are overweight, or in people whose neck anatomy predisposes them to the condition. During sleep, the upper airway collapses, preventing proper inspiration. This can be noticed by a sleep partner as choking, gasping or just not breathing for a prolonged time. The person eventually will wake up enough, due to lack of oxygen, to be able to take in a good breath, but will then fall back asleep. The process may happen hundreds of times a night, with the person often unaware. Sleepiness during the day (from never sleeping properly at night) and snoring are the most common symptoms of obstructive sleep apnea. CPAP
(continuous positive airway pressure), which uses high pressure to keep the airway open, is the most common initial treatment for obstructive sleep apnea. In severe sleep apnea, the oxygen level in the blood can be so low for so long that the heart and lungs can be damaged, eventually leading to a type of heart failure of the right side of the heart. However, the situation is even more complex. People who have other kinds of heart failure, such as from repeated heart attacks, can develop the less common form of sleep apnea, central sleep apnea. Although this also may be treated by CPAP, it is critical to treat the underlying heart failure as well. Your doctor can tell you whether you have central or obstructive sleep apnea. Spontaneous deep breaths, sighs, are a part of normal human physiology. Sighs have several purposes, but the most important is to help keep the lungs properly expanded. Sighs might be more common in people with heart failure, but I do not know of any correlation with sleep apnea.
Hagar the Horrible
Readers may email questions to ToYourGoodHealth@med.cornell.edu.
Horoscope By Stella Wilder Born today, you combine a great many qualities that will allow you to progress quickly and succeed at almost any task you choose to undertake. This doesn’t mean your success is a foregone conclusion, of course; there is always a chance that you will fail to hold the course and find yourself drifting with the tide, unable to pull your life together toward a single aim because you are unable or unwilling to focus on what must be done day after day. If you keep yourself from falling into this trap, however, you can do a great deal in life that is valuable. You must always guard against falsehood — whether it’s told to you by others or what you tell yourself — for it can serve to bring you down from any heights you may achieve. Also born on this date are: Sir Alfred Hitchcock, filmmaker; Annie Oakley, Wild West entertainer; Bert Lahr, actor; Danny Bonaduce, actor; Dan Fogelberg, singer; George Shearing, pianist. To see what is in store for you tomorrow, find your birthday and read the corresponding paragraph. Let your birthday star be your daily guide. WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 14 LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) — You may not know quite how to approach someone about a certain problem, but being sheepish and reluctant isn’t the way. Try being up-front! VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — You want things to be shipshape before opening your doors to someone from afar. Get the job done — and make a few fun changes in the process. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) — You’ll be relieved to learn you’re not the only one working on a certain problem. Today, the team comes together for a concerted effort. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) — You’ll want to
add things up and figure out where you stand today. When everything has been tallied, you should come out on top. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) — Your study of something from long ago helps you address a problem that is very much a product of the modern age. Be creative! CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — You may be inspired by someone who is facing his or her demons at this time. By day’s end, you can take steps to address a few of your own. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) — It’s a good day to shower those around you with love and affection. Any and all gestures of goodwill are sure to be appreciated. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) — You have something to hide today — or so you think. The truth is that someone already knows the truth; facing it directly is your best course. ARIES (March 21-April 19) — You mustn’t give up today. Stick with it — whatever “it” is — and prove to yourself and others that you have what it takes. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) — It’s time to put the genie back in the bottle — and you must be sure that when you do, it’s not likely to get out again. Be firm and determined! GEMINI (May 21-June 20) — You’re tired of doing the same old things in the same old ways — and in the same old surroundings. Get up and out, and find new inspiration! CANCER (June 21-July 22) — You may find that very few are in a position to help you at this time. Put an end to your own uncertainty, take a stand and get things done. COPYRIGHT 2019 UNITED FEATURE SYNDICATE, INC.
Pearls Before Swine
Dennis the Menace