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New ACCESSline Team

How Sweet, Indeed

ACCESSline, Iowa’s newspaper for the LGBT and HIV positive communities, is under new management. After publishing the final issue of 2008, John Wilson and his partner Paul Danielsen brought thirteen years of service to a graceful close and announced that they had published their final issue of ACCESSline. The issue included an article describing their tenure and making an appeal that someone carry on the mission of Iowa’s oldest newspaper for the LGBT and HIV+ communities. The call has been answered. Taking the reins as the paper’s new editor in chief will be business owner, Arthur Breur. A new resident of Iowa, he moved to Cedar Rapids last year, coming from Tampa, Florida with

March 27th, 2009: The Des Moines Gay Men’s Chorus delights the crowd with songs and other treats during their cabaret-style “How Sweet It Is” — full story, page 13.

his partner of thirteen years, Brian Trimpe, who happens to be an Iowa native. Mr. Breur has been involved with print and design for 19 years and also has worked in web design for the past 12 years. With this background, it was a logical step to provide an online presence for the paper, the new web site Assisting with the production of the paper, as well as working on the web site, will be graphic designer, writer, and recent ADDY Award winner Aaron Stroschein of Hiawatha. It was Mr. Stroschein who first brought ACCESSline to Arthur Breur’s attention. Finishing out the new team is TTNEW TEAM continued page 3

April 2009 Has a Tough Act To Follow IOWA In the month of March, right here in Iowa, State Senator Matt McCoy introduced a bill that would provide civil marriage rights for same-gender couples while simultaneously protecting religious institutions that would choose not to officiate in same-gender marriages. Then in response State Representatives Dwayne Alons and Dolores Mertz responded with a bill to amend Iowa’s Constitution to permanently define marriage as only being between a man and a woman. Both bills failed to progress into further debate. Meanwhile, Iowa awaits the judgment of the Iowa Supreme Court as it deliberates on the constitutionality of Iowa’s Defense of Marriage Act. Advocacy groups such as stand ready to stage statewide community rallies as soon as there is word of a pending decision. USA Elsewhere in the country, both the Vermont State Senate and the New Hampshire House voted to approve same-sex marriage. Each state’s bill now needs to pass in the states’ other legislative arms before moving on to face the chance

National and World News Page 4

of a veto. Vermont’s Governor Jim Douglas has stated outright that he will veto the bill, but that state’s measure seems positioned to be able to survive that veto. While New Hampshire’s Governor John Lynch has not outright stated he would veto the New Hampshire bill, and did in fact sign civil unions into law in that state in 2007, he is on the record as opposing same-sex marriage.

Iowa State Senator MattMcCoy

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The same week as Vermont’s and New Hampshire’s victories for marriage equality, Hawaii’s Senate killed a bill that would have legalized civil unions. Still, a very positive and highly visible representation of same-sex marriage happened on American television. On March 16th, Ellen DeGeneres gave gays and lesbians new hope that the country is starting to see our relationships as something to be celebrated with cheers instead of protests when she opened that day’s first interview with this introduction: “Our first guest is the star of the new ABC show, Better Off Ted. She also happens to be my wife. Please welcome the lovely Portia de Rossi!” The constitutionality of California’s Proposition 8 — banning same sex marriage — is still being reviewed by the California Supreme Court, and puts to question the continued legal recognition of the DeGeneres / de Rossi marriage. In Gainesville, Florida, voters gave the embattled Florida LGBT community a little good news when they rejected a measure that would have repealed existing antidiscrimination protections for gay, lesbian bisexual and transgender residents. The very cultural, LGBT-friendly, TTMARCH RECAP continued page 3

Ellen DeGeneres to be a mom? Page 15

HIV Law Criminal Transmission of HIV From For the vast majority of people living with HIV, preventing others from becoming infected with the virus that they carry is a primary concern. HIV positive individuals are, after all, only too aware of just how difficult it can be to live with the illness, and few would wish it on anybody else. This said, not all HIV+ people take the precautions that they perhaps should. Scare stories of people ‘deliberately’ or ‘recklessly’ transmitting HIV to others have appeared in the media since the epidemic first began, and some of the individuals concerned have even been criminally charged and imprisoned for their actions. But while at first it might seem obvious to prosecute someone for recklessly or intentionally infecting another with an ultimately fatal virus, this assumption, and its consequences, can present numerous problems. So what are the issues that must be addressed when prosecuting someone for transmitting HIV? Is it right to try and criminalise HIV+ people in this way? And what can past cases teach us? TTHIV LAW continued page 11

Homosexuality in Bodybuilding Page 21

More at

Comics and Crosswords Page28

ACCESSline Page 2

Section 1: News & Politics

April 2009

April 2009 PUBLICATION INFORMATION Copyright © 2009 ACCESS in Northeast Iowa P.O. Box 2666 Cedar Rapids, IA 52406-2666 (319) 232-6805

ACCESSline is a bimonthly publication by ACCESS (A Concerned Community for Education, Safer-sex and Support) in Northeast Iowa, a registered non-profit organization in the State of Iowa and a federal non-profit organization under Section 501(c)3 of the IRS Code. Arthur Breur, Editor in Chief Aaron Stroschein, Assistant Editor Cory Tenney, Advertising Sales Q Syndicate Rex Wockner News Service

Contributors: Chef DiJon, Auntie Emm, Lisa Schreihart (a.k.a IowaLisa), Justin Uebelhor, Joshua Dagon, Brett Edward Stout, and Tami Haught. “Quote Unquote” content provided by Rex Wockner News Service. All rights reserved. Original material printed in ACCESSline (with the exception of information from other sources) may be “lifted” for use in other publications so long as proper credit is given. Publication of the name, photograph or likeness of any person, business or organization in ACCESSline is not to be construed as any indication of sexual orientation. Opinions expressed by columnists do not necessarily reflect the opinions of ACCESSline, ACCESS or the gay and lesbian community. Letters to the editor may be published. We cannot be responsible for errors in advertising copy. We welcome the submission of original materials, including line drawings and cartoons, news stories, poems, essays. They should be clearly labeled with author/artist name, address, and phone number. We reserve the right to edit letters and other material for reasons of profanity, space, or clarity. Materials will not be returned. A writer’s guide is available for those wishing to submit original work. Advertising rates and deadlines are available at All ads must be approved by ACCESSline’s editorial board.

Section 1: News & Politics What’s Inside: Section 1: News & Politics US News.................................................4 World News ..........................................5 Editorials............................................ 5-7 Corps Values Be Aware and Responsible The Pope, Condoms, and Mescaline Addicted Lemmings Gay Marriage-Go-Round.......................8 One Iowa................................................8 Creep of the Week................................9 Letter to the Editor.............................10 PITCH...................................................11 Health and HIV/AIDS.........................11

Section 2: Community CAAP Board News..............................25 Chef deJon............................................26 Ask Auntie Emm..................................27 Comics............................................28, 29 Hemming and Hawing........................28 Q Crossword........................................28 Book Reviews.......................................30 Music Review........................................30 Out of Town: Madison, Wisconsin.......31 Morals & Values....................................32 Business Directory/Resource List......33


“Fun Guide”

Theater Ads Civic Theater of Greater Des Moines Stephens Auditorium, Ames Bar Ads Club Basix, Cedar Rapids Studio 13, Iowa City Kings & Queens,Waterloo Private Men’s Clubs Hole-in-the-Wall Spa Des Moines Gay Men’s Chorus...........13 “Garden Mix”......................................13 IowaLisa’s List......................................14 Deep Inside Hollywood.......................15 Cocktail Chatter..................................16 The Outfield.........................................21 Sex Talk.................................................24

A Pull-Out Section to Keep!

“I know I also speak for Aaron Stroschein and Cory Tenney when I say thank you to everyone who has been so supportive, enthusiastic, and patient during the relaunch of ACCESSline. We have gained even more appreciation for the incalculable contribution that John T. Wilson and Paul Danielsen made to our community over the past 13 years. “I would also like to take this moment to remind our readers that we are a non-profit and any donation is welcome, whether it be in time, money, or software and hardware to help us run the paper. “Also, as it says above on this page, we are always interested in receiving photos, announcements, stories, recipes, reviews, letters to the editor and more. “Finally, we are hoping to get additional support with the distribution of the paper throughout the state. People who live far from our home base in Cedar Rapids and are willing to meet us halfway and take papers back to their region would be a tremendous help. While we will try to make frequent trips to all corners of the state, we are still shipping a large number of papers, and that delays their delivery. “So thanks again, everyone, and we look forward to continuing ACCESSline far into the future.” — Arthur Breur, Editor in Chief, ACCESSline, Iowa’s LGBT Newspaper

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ACCESSline Wants To Hear From You! Send in photos and reports of your events... especially benefits and conferences. If you have any news stories, corrections to articles, letters to the editor, or questions, please email us at You may also contact us at our regular address: ACCESSline PO Box 2666 Cedar Rapids, IA 52406-2666 ACCESSline reserves the right to print letters to the editor and other feedback at the editor’s discretion. SScontinued from page 1

March Recap and welcoming vacation destination town of Eureka Springs, Arkansas won the continued right to maintain its domestic partner registry, which includes both samesex and opposite-sex couples. Legislation had been introduced that would ban the registry, calling it an attempt to circumvent the state’s 83rd ammendment, which bans same-sex marriage and even civil unions. Openly gay John Berry, director of the Smithsonian National Zoological Park, received a very warm welcome in his confirmation hearing to be head of the US Office of Personnel Management. The hearing was attended by his partner, Curtis Yee, and members of both of their families. His confirmation is expected to receive little or no resistance on its way to its final vote early this month. The US military’s much-deplored “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy received new national attention in March with the publication of Nathaniel Frank’s highly praised new book, Unfriendly Fire. The book provides extensive research into the negative affects that the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy has had on our military — both the institution as a whole, and the individuals within it — and our country. President SScontinued from page 1

New Team Cory Tenney of Cedar Rapids, who will be working as the paper’s Advertising Sales Representative. Mr. Tenney is the proud father of a six year-year-old daughter, and he brings to the paper his 12 years of customer service experience. The paper is undergoing some obvious visible changes and will be published

Obama has stated that he is against the policy, but even with his heavily reported display of multi-tasking during his first 10 weeks of office, he is yet to directly address “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. AROUND THE WORLD On the global level, President Barack Obama reversed the stand of the previous administration and signed on to the United Nations resolution calling to globally decriminalize homosexuality. This resolution has been called because there are still dozens of countries in which homosexuality is illegal, punishable in many cases by death. Also in March, Pope Benedict XVI made the scientifically disputed statement that condoms only make the AIDS epidemic worse. “You can’t resolve it with the distribution of condoms. On the contrary, it increases the problem.” The statement caused an international outcry, and even received outright condemnation from the German and French governments. The Catholic Church attempted to clarify his statement by suggesting that he meant condoms encourage people to have more sex than they would have otherwise. However, the overall world reaction would appear to suggest that the Pontiff is out of touch with the sexual motivations of the masses. (For more world news, go to page 5.)

monthly instead of bi-monthly. Otherwise, the primary focus of the paper remains: It is a publication by the 501(c)3 non-profit organization ACCESS (“A Concerned Community for Education, Safer-sex, and Support”) of Northeast Iowa. Its purpose is to provide current, relevant, and accurate information on topics particularly relevant to the LGBT and HIV+ communities. These topics include HIV/AIDS education, civil rights issues, and community interest stories.

Subscribe to ACCESSline

We are celebrating our 23rd year of publishing ACCESSline, Iowa’s only LGBT newspaper. Our goal continues to be to keep the community informed about gay organizations, events, HIV/AIDS news, politics, national and international news, and other critical issues, NOW MONTHLY! Don’t miss this special $24 (12 issue) annual rate for ACCESSline! Send this completed ad with $24 for a one year subscription (12 issues). Send to ACCESSline, PO Box 2666, Cedar Rapids, IA 52406-2666 and we’ll send you ACCESSline in a plain brown envelope!

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ACCESSline Page 4

Section 1: News & Politics

April 2009

US NEWS by Rex Wockner Vermont legislators hope to legalize samesex marriage Legislators in Vermont are planning to legalize same-sex marriage this year. The state has had a civil-union law since 2000 that grants gay couples all state-level rights and obligations of marriage, but gay activists and gay-friendly legislators do not consider the separate legal construct to constitute full equality under the law. Leaders of the Democratic Party, which has majorities in both chambers of the Legislature, have promised to pass the marriage bill before they adjourn in May, with a planned start date of Sept 1. The measure cleared the Senate Judiciary Committee in a unanimous vote March 20. If the bill succeeds and is signed by the governor, Vermont would no longer offer civil unions, though it would continue to honor those that have taken place. Same-sex marriage is legal in Belgium, Canada, the Netherlands, Norway, South Africa, Spain and the U.S. states of Connecticut and Massachusetts. From June to November 2008, gays in California also could marry, until voters amended the state constitution to stop it. The constitutionality of the amendment, known as Proposition 8, is now being reviewed by the California Supreme Court. Dictionary redefines 'marriage' Few people noticed until this month that Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary redefined "marriage" to include same-sex couples back in 2003 — a time when gays were permitted to marry only in the Netherlands, Belgium and the Canadian provinces of Ontario and British Columbia. A Christian Web site drew attention to the six-year-old change on March 17. The definition reads, in part: "(1): the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2): the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage <same-sex marriage>." Following inquiries from the media March 18, the company e-mailed reporters a document which explained: "Definitions in Merriam-Webster dictionaries are based on the frequency of written usage in English prose. For a new word or sense to enter our dictionaries, it must meet three criteria: 1) Widespread usage in well-read publications 2) Established usage over a certain period of time 3) An easily discernable (sic) definition." The statement continued: "In recent years, this sense of 'marriage' has appeared frequently and consistently through a broad spectrum of carefully edited publications, and is often used in phrases such as 'same-sex marriage' and 'gay marriage' by proponents and opponents alike. Its inclusion was a simple matter of providing dictionary users with accurate information about all of the word's current uses." "Merriam-Webster often hears from people on many parts of the political spectrum who believe we are promoting — or perhaps failing to promote — a particular social or political agenda when we include and define words in our dictionaries," the statement said. "It is unfortunate when an entry in, or an omission from, one of our

dictionaries is found to be offensive or upsetting, but such considerations cannot deflect our lexicographers from their primary job, which is to create a painstakingly accurate and comprehensive record of the English language as it changes and evolves." Same-sex marriage is now permitted in Belgium, Canada (nationwide), the Netherlands, Norway, South Africa, Spain and the U.S. states of Connecticut and Massachusetts. From June to November 2008, gays in California also could marry, until voters amended the state constitution to stop it. The constitutionality of the amendment, known as Proposition 8, is now being reviewed by the California Supreme Court.

do much more. And I can only hope that we all live long enough — certainly I hope I live long enough; I think you all will — to see the end to this kind of discriminatory treatment, and recognition that human rights are the inalienable right of every person no matter who that person loves, and that’s what we should be trying to achieve.” Hillary Clinton will fight for gay rights worldwide Meeting with young people at the European Parliament in Brussels on March 6, U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton promised to fight for gay rights on the world stage. At a question-and-answer session, Clinton called on Maxim Anmeghichean, programs director for the European Region of the International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association, after commenting on his “I Love Hillary” T-shirt. Anmeghichean said: “My name is Max. I am from Moldova, and I am a gay rights activist. In seven countries in the world homosexuals are sentenced to death and many more to prison. A lot of gay men around the world die because of the HIV/ AIDS policies that the Bush administration had that did not allow to spend money on prevention for men who have sex with men. How do you see the foreign policy of the United States changing in the coming years in the field of human rights and in particular sexual rights and gay and lesbian rights?” Clinton responded: “Human rights is and will always be one of the pillars of our foreign policy. And in particular, the persecution and discrimination against gays and lesbians is something that we take very seriously. It is terribly unfortunate, as you just recited, that, you know, right now in unfortunately many places in the world violence against gays and lesbians, certainly discrimination and prejudice, are not just occurring but condoned and protected. And we would hope that over the next few years we could have some influence in trying to change those attitudes.” Clinton continued: “Specifically, with respect to HIV/AIDS, we have made a very big treatment commitment, as some of you know, through our program called PEPFAR. And it is an important part of the American approach toward trying to deal with the HIV/AIDS pandemic. But we haven’t done enough on prevention, and we haven’t done enough on outreach or testing. We’re beginning to, and under our administration we will

Gays march in San Diego St. Pat’s parade Gays are banned from marching in the St. Patrick’s Day parade in the Big Apple every year, but a gay contingent faced no obstacles making its first appearance in San Diego’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade on March 14. The contingent of about 25 people included a float featuring a giant bedazzled leprechaun and marchers waving the gay flag. Gay-friendly Republican Mayor Jerry Sanders served as executive grand marshal of the parade organized by the Irish Congress of Southern California. The theme this year was “Celebrating Children’s Services,” with a specific focus on adoption, fostering and mentoring. “This was an excellent opportunity to carry Pride’s message of equality and diversity to an audience outside the gayborhood,” said Ron deHarte, executive director of San Diego LGBT Pride, which organized the contingent. “We were thrilled by the overwhelmingly positive reaction we received from the crowd.” San Diego’s 35th gay pride parade is July 18, followed by a two-day festival in the city’s showcase Balboa Park. Gay councilman won’t discuss Prop 8 Carl DeMaio, an openly gay Republican member of the San Diego City Council, won’t say what his position is on Proposition 8, the voter-passed constitutional amendment that re-banned same-sex marriage in California, CityBeat magazine reported March 10. “DeMaio has steadfastly refused to speak out for or against the law,” the publication said. His spokesperson told CityBeat that DeMaio is focused instead on the city’s dire financial situation. The openly gay chair of the county Democratic party, Jess Durfee, told CityBeat that DeMaio “can’t be gay part of the time.” “If he’s going to sit this one out, he should not be showing up at The [gay] Center and he should not be showing up to LGBT events acting like he wants to be

embraced by the gay community when he’s not ready to lead on an issue that’s critical to the community,” Durfee said. The editor of the Gay & Lesbian Times, Randy Hope, said DeMaio should “answer the question.” “If ... DeMaio were Asian and there was a measure not allowing Asians to marry, we would expect him to be held to the same accountability,” Hope told CityBeat. Republican San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders and his openly lesbian daughter Lisa have taken a very public role in the fight to overturn Prop 8. “Proposition 8 threatens the liberties guaranteed by our state constitution,” Mayor Sanders said March 4. “It undermines the fundamental rights that we stand for, and it’s been a misuse in the worst way of the initiative process.”

Mayor Koch doesn’t want to come out Former New York City Mayor Ed Koch isn’t interested in coming out of the closet, he told The New York Times Feb. 28. “I do not want to add to the acceptability of asking every candidate, ‘Are you straight or gay or lesbian?’ and make it a legitimate question, so I don’t submit to that question,” Koch said. “I don’t care if people think I’m gay because I don’t answer it. I’m flattered that at 84 people are interested in my sex life — and, it’s quite limited.”

“I went to boarding school Southern, religious, and straight, and I left boarding school not being at all religious and not being straight.” — Facebook co-founder Chris Hughes, 25, to the magazine Fast Company, April issue.

April 2009

Section 1: News & Politics

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World News by Rex Wockner Obama Reverses Bush Opposition To UN Declaration The administration of President Barack Obama has reversed a decision by the administration of former President George W. Bush and added the United States' signature to a pro-gay declaration delivered in the United Nations General Assembly last December. Sixty-six nations supported the groundbreaking statement that called for the decriminalization of gay sex worldwide and affirmed that international human rights standards include protections based on sexual orientation and gender identity. “The United States supports the UN Statement on 'Human Rights, Sexual Orientation, and Gender Identity,' and is pleased to join the other 66 UN member states who have declared their support of this Statement that condemns human rights violations based on sexual orientation and gender identity wherever they occur,” the State Department said March 18. “The United States is an outspoken defender of human rights and critic of human rights abuses around the world. As such, we join with the other supporters of this Statement and we will continue to remind countries of the importance of respecting the human rights of all people in all appropriate international fora.” In opposing the declaration, the Bush administration had said the document's broad language could reach into areas that fall outside of federal jurisdiction, such as the right of each U.S. state to define marriage.

It was the first time a statement condemning rights abuses against GLBT people was presented in the General Assembly. Gay activists hailed the State Department decision. “It is terrific that the Obama administration is joining the United Nations' resolution calling for an end to laws that make physical intimacy between same-sex couples a crime,” said Matt Coles, director of the ACLU Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Project. “Many of these laws are ... used to put people in prison and sometimes result in people being executed.” “That the Bush administration refused to endorse the resolution is pretty unbelievable considering the U.S. Supreme Court said it was unconstitutional to criminalize physical intimacy between consenting adults back in 2003," Coles added. "We urge the United States to match its action on human rights abroad with bold commitment to respect and promote human rights at home. We can begin putting an end to discrimination against (LGBT) people by, as the president has proposed, banning job discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity and by repealing the section of the Defense of Marriage Act that denies federal protections to those same-sex couples who have legally married.” More than 80 of the world's 195 nations criminalize gay sex, and it is punishable by death in 10 -- Afghanistan, Iran, Mauritania, TTWORLD NEWS continued page 9

Corps Values by Brett Edward Stout We have become unfortunately accustomed to government math that doesn’t work, but it is our duty as Americans to confront that math when it is absurd. The New York Times has reported that the US Armed Forces plans to recruit 1,000 immigrants on temporary visas into the US Military. This initiative, while noble, is not only incongruous with the current policy of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, it is the highest level of insult to patriotic gay and lesbian servicemen, veterans, and potential recruits. The US military discharged 4,342 gay and lesbian servicemen since their present recruitment deficit began in 2002. They have actively pursued methods to make up recruitment shortfalls in almost every way, almost. Even in a time of desperation when the President and the Secretary of Defense openly oppose the exclusion and removal of gays and lesbians from the military, it would first turn to immigrants to answer the call of duty. The initiative is focused at immigrants who have experience with foreign languages and medical training. This makes it all the more a personal insult to me. I served for five years in the Marines as a Russian linguist and I am gay. I joined the Marines at the age of 18 not to make a statement as a gay man but to make a statement as an American. Before I enlisted I spent four years studying Russian in high school and was a national championship swimmer. My academic scores were exemplary and my criminal record was clean. When I joined the Marines, I did so side by side with numerous patriotic men and women who had received waivers for their

criminal background or for their less-thanacceptable mental abilities. I lived in hiding for five years knowing that everything I had worked so hard for could at any moment be taken from me for being who I am, and that the military would rather choose criminals, the mentally handicapped, and now immigrants before they would knowingly choose me. The moment the president was sworn in, the new administration’s website went live. It outlines the policy goals of our new leadership. Among these aims is a call for the absolute repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, yet movement on this remains stalled while insults are heaped upon gay and lesbian servicemen and women who live in forced secrecy. The US Military remains the pinnacle of duty, patriotism, and selflessness for this country. By denying gays and lesbians the right to serve, their government is telling them that it feels them incapable of any of these traits: I am, and we are, more than capable! This is about more than acceptability; this is about ending discrimination, degradation, and condemnation. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell proclaims boldly that if you are gay or lesbian, you are not patriotic, you are not moral, you are not worthy, and that you insufficiently embody the core values of honor, courage, and commitment. I spent five years of my life proving that fact wrong. The question remains: when will our country let those like me openly do the same? Brett Edward Stout is the author of the novel Sugar-baby Bridge.

“We should absolutely be holding our elected officials, including President Obama, to their commitments to support those three pieces of legislation.” — Gay U.S. Rep. Jared Polis, D-Colo., to the gay newspaper Dallas Voice, in regard to passage of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and the addition of domestic partner benefits for federal employees, Feb. 20.

Section 1: News & Politics

ACCESSline Page 6

April 2009

EDITORIAL: Be Aware and Responsible by Arthur Breur


ACCESSline was founded in the 1980s, primarily to be a source of AIDS information and eduction for Iowa’s gay community. Nearly a quarter of a century later, this paper still has its work cut out for it. Our community’s knowledge about HIV and AIDS seems at times remarkably lacking. There are many obvious reasons. Here are just a few: 1) With “abstinence only education” our previous president encouraged an ignorant and overly idealistic approach to sex for our young people. Statistics are beginning to appear that indicate that not only did “abstinence only” not prevent children from having sex, it increased the likelihood that they would do so without any common sense protection. 2) Unscientific naysayers around the world insist, despite mountains of medical evidence, that HIV does not cause AIDS, and rebelliously encourage others to ignore what should by now be well established, common sense rules. 3) The Catholic church dictated in the 1960s that it is sinful to use condoms. Pope Benedict now illogically insists that condoms make the AIDS epidemic worse by somehow encouraging people to have more sex. He seems oblivious to the fact that people are having quite a bit of sex in the first place and if they used a condom while doing it, they might, from time to time, prevent the transmission of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.

4) The successful management of HIV with modern drugs has turned HIV infection into a “chronic illness” rather than a guaranteed death sentence. Many young people today don’t seem to think of the disease as dangerous, and express the opinion that it doesn’t matter if they get infected because there is medicine that will control it. It is true that the median survival rate for HIV positive people has been raised to the point that treated individuals can expect more than 30 years of survival. However, make no mistake: HIV, without treatment, causes AIDS, which is deadly. We need, both individually and as a community, to prevent it from spreading. Also, while we must try to prevent the transmission of HIV, we must never allow it to be used as a reason to demonize others or to hate ourselves. So enough railing against those who are promoting ignorance, misinformation, and confusion. Instead, let’s talk about our own personal responsibility to increase awareness and knowledge in ourselves and others, and let’s talk about our responsibility to behave in ways that protect ourselves and others. Item Number 1. We must educate ourselves about HIV using reliable sources of information. One of the best resources for legitimate information on HIV and AIDS is Another good resource is There are also many sources of false information and hearsay about HIV and AIDS, so we need to be sure

to do a bit of extra research and not just immediately believe something when we learn it from a questionable source. Item Number 2. We must protect ourselves from infection by educating ourselves on how HIV is transmitted and avoiding high-risk behaviors. The most basic way to understand risk of infection comes down to this (taken from In order for infection to occur, three things must happen: 1) You must be exposed to precum, semen, vaginal secretions, blood or breast milk, AND 2) The virus must get directly into your bloodstream through some fresh cut, open sore, abrasion etc., AND 3) Transmission must occur, directly from one person to the other, very quickly (the virus does not survive more than a few minutes outside the body). While some activities can have less risk than others, any sexual activity that involves penetration carries with it the risk of HIV transmission. Even the use of a condom is not a 100% guarantee against infection, but in the words of the Center for Disease Control, they provide a “high degree of protection, while not using a condom and having sex provides

precisely no protection. Furthermore on the topic of protecting ourselves, gay men must keep the following in mind: Regardless of what a sexual partner might say—or even believe— that person might be HIV positive. In fact, 25% of HIV positive people do not even know they are infected. We gay men need to bear the responsibility that any sexual activity carries with it some level of risk of HIV infection. If you are a sexually active gay man, you should practice “safer” sex (as we’ve pointed out above, condoms only make sex safer) and you should get tested regularly. Item Number 3. If you are HIV positive, it is your moral and legal responsibility to prevent your own infection from passing to others. You do this by informing potential partners of your status and using safer sex practices. Maybe they will decide not to go any farther, but there is also the chance that they will still be open to sharing something physical—to the level at which they themselves feel safe and comfortable. The legal obligation may come as a surprise to some people. In Iowa, [potentially risky] “intimate contact” with another person by someone who is HIV positive, without disclosure of their HIV status, is a Class B Felony, punishable by up to 25 years in prison.

Serving Northeast Iowa by: - Offering confidential support services with compassion and respect for the diversity of those impacted by HIV or AIDS - Increasing awareness and understanding in communities - Offering CASS services free of charge

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CASS A program of Cedar Valley Hospice

April 2009

Section 1: News & Politics

ACCESSline Page 7

The Pope, Condoms, and Mescaline Addicted Lemmings by Joshua Dagon Over the past several decades, scientifically accurate information regarding the nature of the Human Immunodeficiency Virus—better known as “HIV” or, in some communities, “Stanley”—as well as the manner of its transmission, has grown by astronomical degrees. At least that’s the general understanding shared by most individuals who have not suffered catastrophic brain injuries caused by cleaning their ear canals using electronically powered carpentry tools. For example, on February 5, 2009, Senator David Schultheis (R—Colorado Springs) stated, “Sexual promiscuity, we know, causes a lot of problems in our state, one of which, obviously, is the contraction of HIV.” Really? Really? Senator Schultheis, um... did you actually just say, in essence, that sexual promiscuity causes the contraction of HIV? Or, excuse me, “Stanley?” [I am now pinching the bridge of my nose, sighing heavily, and shaking my head from side to side hard enough to sprain connective tissue.] Let me just explain my frustration here. You see, for those of us who choose to use

Q-tips to clean our ears as opposed to a Bosch PS30-2A Twelve-Volt Lithium Power Drill, it’s understood that HIV can be contracted by unprotected exposure to specific body fluids, such as blood or semen, to direct routes into the bloodstream, such as open cuts or sores, the eyes, and thin mucus membranes in the anus or vagina. Also, this exposure need only occur once. Copiously repeated exposure, or “promiscuity,” of this type, while spectacularly increasing the likelihood of infection, actually has nothing at all to do with the process of the virus’s spread. In addition, exposure to uninfected body fluids during sex, even from promiscuous sex, even from sex with the population of Spain, even from sex with the population of Spain at the same time, will never result in the transmission of HIV. Although, it might be safe to state, the chances of suffering severe friction-related injuries would be a reasonable concern. Many, many years ago, it was also scientifically established that the danger of contracting HIV is nearly eliminated, even with the involvement of infected body fluids, if the proper use of condoms is applied. Today, a significant percentage of the global population is aware of this fact, with perhaps the notable exception of Pope Benedict XVI, who, during his flight to Cameroon in

March, stated, “You can’t resolve [the spread of HIV] with the distribution of condoms. On the contrary, it increases the problem.” In other words, “Stay away from condoms. They make you horny.” Bear in mind, though, while considering the pontiff’s point of view, that on April 16th, the man will be eighty-two years old. For him, condoms represent a relatively new and frightening technology, just like electric fireplaces and nasal breathing strips. Still, considering the Doctrine of Papal Infallibility, developed by the twenty-first Ecumenical Council of the Roman Catholic Church during the early 1960’s—way before nasal breathing strips—anyone using condoms is responsible for radically increasing the spread of AIDS and should be stoned to death while being burned at the stake and pelted with pagan statuary. As bad as that is, it doesn’t end there. Listen to this: Noreen Martin, a 56-year-old author diagnosed with AIDS in 2003, insists on perpetuating the theory that everything currently known about AIDS is wrong. She asserts that HIV is a harmless retrovirus that can’t be sexually transmitted, AIDS medicine can cause the very disease it is expected to fight, and that, not only does the government know this, but that it is deliberately ignoring the facts, apparently because the majority of publicly elected American officials regularly smoke things they grow underneath their sofas. [Actually, I made that last part up. As everyone knows, elected American officials would smoke anything no matter where it’s grown.] It appears Ms. Martin retains her opinion despite the literally thousands of studies accepted by the Centers for Disease Control and the National Institute of Health that suggest her hypothesis was developed by a deviant group of syphilitic lemmings during a mescaline binge. This barrage of conflicting information can certainly be corrosive to the generally unified effort being made to establish an effective means to stop the spread of HIV. Certainly, confusing comments made by legitimately credentialed and high profile public figures—such as Senator Schultheis and the Pope—and even by not-so-legitimately credentialed folks like Ms. Noreen Martin—she did, evidently, write a book, although her web site appears to have been designed by chipmunks, which, at least for me, tends to bring her intellectual standing into question—does have the potential to hamper our otherwise generally unified effort. In the face of this dilemma, my personal tendency is to continue to follow the guidelines established by more legitimate sources

Novelist Joshua Dagon is the author of Into the Mouth of the Wolf, The Fallen, and Demon Tears. of medically proven and scientifically sound information, such as the CDC, the NIH, the AMA, and similar organizations composed of actual epidemiologists, immunologists, microbiologists, and other professionals of the health sciences who are not insane. The foundation of those guidelines has been, and continues to be, the practice of “safe” sex. There’s simply no getting around it. Yes, admittedly, a significant portion of accepted safe sexual practices are arguably lonely and/or boring, such as body rubbing/erotic massage [yawn], kissing [which, done correctly, isn’t really boring at all, but it does have the tendency to be a “gateway activity,” possibly leading to more dangerous practices involving the removal of undergarments], and masturbation. [Love that word. Don’t you?] So, circumstances currently being what they are, sexual intercourse with a condom, in my opinion, remains the most effective, stimulating means of achieving a gratifying sexual experience in the safest possible manner, unless you plan on having your genitals laminated—which, although it radically reduces sensitivity and also requires a colostomy, would, in theory, surpass the efficiency of condoms. In truth, I’m hoping that the Pope is correct and that the use of condoms does encourage libidinous behavior. The establishment of condom use as an aphrodisiac would be a spectacular achievement in the ongoing endeavor to halt the spread of Stanley.

“I was there in the ‘70s when suddenly this very strange thing (AIDS) started happening to friends of mine. ... By 10 years into it I had lost half of my phone book. All these people that I had worked with and that I knew were gone, and at a relatively young age. I had never thought that I would be that close to death; it was shocking. ... So whenever anybody asks me to do something for this disease, I’m there.” — Barry Manilow to the Palm Springs gay magazine, The BottomLine, Feb. 13.

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Political IQ: Obama Watch by Diane Silver Pressure Builds for the Administration to Tackle DOMA We may soon know whether Barack Obama will stand up for queer America or fold like so many politicians have before. The pressure of two recent court rulings, a lawsuit and new legislation – all challenging aspects of the Defense of Marriage Act – should push the Obama Administration to stop dithering around and do something. The rulings came from San Francisco. Two judges in the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit ruled that same-sex spouses of two court employees are entitled to federal health insurance benefits. The couples wed last year when California allowed same-sex marriages. On Feb. 20, however, an official in the federal Office of Personnel Management told the court that DOMA forbid them from complying with the rulings, The New York Times reported. Only opposite-sex spouses qualify for benefits, wrote Lorraine E. Dettman, assistant director of the personnel office. Dettman is a longtime employee of the office and was not appointed by Obama. The lawsuit came from Boston. Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders filed suit to overturn one section of DOMA. Filed on behalf of eight married couples and three surviving spouses, the suit targets the section blocking same-sex couples from receiving the same federal protections heterosexual couples enjoy. These include Social Security spousal

protections, employment and death benefits, the ability to file joint income taxes and the ability to obtain a visa for a non-citizen spouse, or to sponsor that spouse for citizenship. All of these protections are important, but the inability of lesbians and gays to sponsor their spouses for citizenship can be particularly tragic. If one spouse is an American citizen and the other isn’t, they have to decide whether to break up their family or leave the United States. Meanwhile in Washington, D.C., Rep. Jerrold Nadler, D-N.Y., and Sen. Patrick Leahy, D-Vt., have introduced bills to tackle the immigration issue. DOMA is also facing a challenge from bills expected to be introduced by Rep. Tammy Baldwin, D-Wis., and Sen. Joseph Lieberman, I-Conn. These bills would grant domestic partners of federal workers the same benefits that spouses of heterosexual employees receive. So far the Obama Administration’s only response to these events has been an eerie silence. Although Obama was elected with the most pro-LGBT agenda in presidential history, his record has been mixed. Not a

single anti-equality law has yet to be challenged or changed. No timetable has been announced to even start work on the proLGBT agenda the new administration touts on its web site. Not a single openly LGBT person was appointed to the cabinet. The question now is what the Obama Administration will do next. Will it allow an assistant director’s pronouncement to stand and continue to deny health benefits to legally wed spouses in California? How will the administration answer the lawsuit filed in Boston? Will the administration champion the Nadler-Leahy and BaldwinLieberman bills in Congress, or pretend they don’t exist? Will the administration take on the politically incendiary task of dismantling DOMA, or will it continue to pat LGBT citizens on the head and tell us to sit down, be quiet and wait? There are signs that Obama is inching toward the change we desperately need. The administration has endorsed a UN declaration calling for the decriminalization of homosexuality. When the declaration was first presented in December, President George W. Bush refused to endorse it.

While LGBT people have been woefully absent from the cabinet, Obama has been appointing an increasing number to second and third-tier posts. Most significantly, Obama appointed National Zoo Director John Berry to lead the Office of Personnel Management. Lesbian Elaine Kaplan has been named general counsel to the personnel office. This puts Berry and Kaplan on the front line of the tussle in California. Once he is confirmed, Berry also will become the lead defendant in the lawsuit filed in Boston. Both officials have strong records on LGBT rights. Kaplan is famous for publicly confronting a Bush official on job discrimination. As the recession deepens and anger over bailouts and bonuses boils over, it might seem absurd to obsess over the fate of a single issue effecting as tiny a group as gay Americans. The New York Times journalist who reported the California story, for example, framed it as nothing more than an issue of politics. The stakes, the reporter wrote, were whether Obama would anger his liberal base or Republicans. But for those of us whose lives are crippled by DOMA, the idea that our families are a mere political spat is not only ignorant, it is beyond insulting. Every day the Obama Administration dances around and fails to act, we suffer. The time for change is now. Diane Silver is a former newspaper reporter and magazine editor, whose work has appeared in The Progressive, Salon. com, Ms, and other national publications. She can be reached care of this publication or at

One Iowa Calling for Statewide Rallies by Justin Uebelhor, One Iowa History in Iowa! Will you be there? In Harvey Milk’s famous “Hope speech”, he recognized the symbolic significance behind his election as an openly gay official. He spoke eloquently of the message his victory would send to kids struggling with their sexuality throughout the country. “I know that you cannot live on hope alone, but without it life is not worth living… You gotta give em hope,” said Harvey. Fast forward three decades later and the state of Iowa is a key battleground in the continuing debate over marriage for same-sex couples. To achieve and sustain marriage equality in the Heartland would not only be a victory for committed same-sex couples in the state of Iowa, but could serve as a bellwether for the rest of the nation and galvanize additional states to follow suit. An Iowa Supreme Court ruling could come any day on marriage equality for samesex couples. The case in question, Varnum v. Brien, challenges the constitutionality of Iowa’s “Defense of Marriage” statute. In August of 2007 a district court judge ruled in favor of six same-sex couples who sought the freedom to marry in Iowa. In the hours after the ruling and before a stay of the decision was issued, 27 same-sex couples applied for marriage licenses. 19 of these couples actually got licenses and one couple, by finding

a judge to waive the usual waiting period, was legally married. In December of last year, the Iowa Supreme Court heard oral arguments in the legal case and is in the process of formulating a decision. While no time limit is set for the court to rule, the court typically rules within 6-8 months of hearing arguments. If the Court rules in favor of equality, Iowa would join Massachusetts and Connecticut in allowing gay and lesbian couples to marry. In recognition of this important juncture in Iowa history, One Iowa recognized the desire for our community and allies to have a venue in which to share this moment together. Win, lose, or draw, we want supporters of equality to be able express their opinions and reactions to the ruling. Whether we gather to celebrate victory or to express our collective disappointment, we plan to do so in solidarity. One Iowa, along with our friends and allies across the state, is planning statewide rallies on the evening of the ruling to make sure the voices of equality are heard loud and clear! The Court typically announces rulings on Fridays and gives 24 hour notice of an impending ruling. You can go to in order to sign up for your local rally and we will contact you on the Thursday before the ruling comes out with details. This way,

you’ll be among the first to know when a ruling is on its way! We’ll also direct you to the time and location of your local rally so you can take part in this historic event. When the spotlight is on Iowa, will you stand as one with the thousands of Iowans supporting equality? THIS IS OUR MOMENT, IOWA! Go to and sign up for your local rally today! And don’t forget to encourage your family and friends to join you! Rallies are currently being planned in the following cities: Ames, Cedar Falls/ Waterloo, Cedar Rapids, Council Bluffs, Decorah, Des Moines, Iowa City, Grinnell/Newton, Mason City, Quad Cities and Sioux City. Pending support from local organizers, additional cities may be added in the future. If you’d like to help organize a rally in your community, email or mark the check box on the sign up page online. From Stonewall to Harvey Milk to marriage in Massachusetts, we’ve seen the power of working collectively towards

equality. Now, with marriage equality on the line in the Heartland, will you join us and lend your voice to the cause? Justin Uebelhor is the Director of Communications with One Iowa. One Iowa is the state’s largest LGBT advocacy organization, dedicated to supporting full equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals living in Iowa through grassroots education and advocacy. Currently One Iowa is awaiting an Iowa Supreme Court ruling that could grant gay and lesbian couples the freedom to marry in Iowa. In recognition of this historic decision, One Iowa is planning statewide rallies on the evening of the Court decision.

April 2009

Section 1: News & Politics

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Creep of the Week: Ken Starr by D’Anne Witkowski Ken Starr is obsessed with penises. Need proof? Starr is, after all, to blame for the fact that for anyone old enough to remember the Clinton administration a cigar is not just a cigar. During the ‘90s, Starr’s lurid expose of President Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky’s affair kept America firmly focused on Clinton’s member, taking money and attention away from arguably more important business (Bin Laden was already on the scene back then, for one). These days, he’s leading the charge for one penis, one vagina marriage as the lead council defending Prop. 8 in California, the measure that passed in November, banning marriage for same-sex couples in the state. For those of you following this whole California marriage thing, you know that Prop. 8 has been challenged in court. Opponents of the measure charge that Prop. 8 is not a limited amendment, but rather a constitutional revision that needs a twothirds approval of the legislature before it can be put before voters. Legal proceedings are currently underway in an attempt to overturn it. But not if Starr has anything to do with it. Not only does he want to see Prop. 8 upheld, but he also wants the 18,000 marriages between same-sex couples that occurred prior to November nullified. In other words, he wants to force divorce onto 18,000 people. More if you include the children some of these couples have (for more on that, check SScontinued from page 5

World News Nigeria, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Somalia, Sudan, the United Arab Emirates and Yemen. In Pakistan and the UAE, however, the criminal code, which does not punish sodomy with death, tends to take precedence over the equally legal Shariah law, which does punish sodomy with death. In Somalia, Shariah law is in force in portions of the nation. Somalia presently has no national government. In Afghanistan, the penal code does not punish sodomy with death, but Shariah does -- and is in force in much of the country. Nigeria has the Shariah death penalty for gay sex in northern provinces only, where Shariah takes precedence over federal law and people have been sentenced to death for gay sex, though executions apparently have not been carried out. The remaining five nations have an unambiguous national death penalty for sodomy -- Iran, Mauritania, Saudi Arabia, Sudan and Yemen. The UN declaration's original signers were Albania, Andorra, Argentina, Armenia, Australia, Austria, Belgium, Bolivia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Brazil, Bulgaria, Canada, Cape Verde, Central African Republic, Chile, Colombia, Croatia, Cuba, Cyprus, Czech Republic, Denmark, Ecuador, Estonia, Finland, France, Gabon, Georgia, Germany, Greece, Guinea-Bissau, Hungary, Iceland, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Japan, Latvia, Liechtenstein, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Malta, Mauritius, Mexico, Montenegro, Nepal, Netherlands, New Zealand, Nicaragua, Norway, Paraguay, Poland, Portugal, Romania, San Marino, São Tomé and Príncipe, Serbia, Slovakia, Slovenia, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, The Former Yugoslav Republic of

out The Courage Campaign’s “Please Don’t Divorce Us” slideshow online). Starr as the front man to the anti-gay marriage band is hardly a sock. According to Mother Jones, “Two years ago, Starr, now dean of the Pepperdine Law School, represented a bunch of anti-gay marriage groups, including the Mormon Church, in amicus briefs in some of California’s gay marriage litigation. He’s been involved in

the issue for a while, now.” As LL Cool J would say, “Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years, rockin’ my peers and puttin’ suckas in fear.” Starr claims that the case has to do with more than just homosexuality, but that’s hard to believe considering he’s accused gay folks of “seizing and hijacking the marriage relationship in order to achieve apartheidtype values.”

Macedonia, Timor-Leste, United Kingdom, Uruguay and Venezuela.

model that later was copied by several other European nations. Beginning in 2001 with the Netherlands, gay couples began gaining access to marriage itself. Same-sex marriage now is possible in Belgium, Canada, the Netherlands, Norway, South Africa, Spain and the U.S. states of Connecticut and Massachusetts. From June to November 2008, gays in California also could marry, until voters amended the state constitution to stop it. The constitutionality of the amendment, known as Proposition 8, is now being reviewed by the California Supreme Court.

CoE, HRW: Serbia needs to protect gays Thomas Hammarberg, the Council of Europe's human-rights commissioner, said March 11 that Serbia is doing a bad job of protecting gay people. "Discriminatory statements made by political figures and the media go largely unpunished," he said. "Human rights activists in particular are victims of intolerance, hate speech and threats, sometimes resulting in physical attacks. Such instances must be condemned from the highest political level and sanctioned appropriately." Founded in 1949, the Council of Europe seeks to develop common democratic principles based on the European Convention on Human Rights and other texts. Forty-seven nations are members of the body. On March 10, Human Rights Watch urged Serbia to relaunch efforts to pass a gay-inclusive anti-discrimination bill that recently was removed from active consideration in Parliament following objections from the Serbian Orthodox Church. Denmark OKs gay adoption Denmark, which enacted the world’s first same-sex civil-union law in 1989, extended adoption rights to gay couples March 17. Parliamentarians voted for the measure 62-53, with 64 legislators not present. The bill was supported by the opposition Social Democrats and Socialist People’s Party. The ruling Liberal Party opposed it, though seven Liberal MPs broke ranks and voted for it. Denmark’s groundbreaking 1989 “registered partnership” law granted same-sex couples more than 99 percent of the rights and obligations of marriage -- a

British PM opposes Prop 8 British Prime Minister Gordon Brown opposes Proposition 8, the California ballot measure that last November re-banned samesex marriage after the state Supreme Court had legalized it.

Calling Starr “the Grinch who stole marriage,” Rachel Allen of California’s National Organization for Women says, “The only thing I can think of that’s more cruel than denying same-sex couples and their families the right to marry, is stripping the right of families who already are married.” Something tells me that Starr isn’t going to be moved by the 46,000 signatures delivered last week to his office by www., a project of the Human Rights Campaign. The signatures were from people asking him not to divorce the 18,000 married same-sex couples in California. The text that signers put their names to reads: “Your attempt to nullify the marriages of 18,000 loving couples in California is misguided and malicious. The rights of a minority should never be stripped by a simple majority vote, and the idea that divorcing parents could help the welfare of children is disgusting. History will condemn your actions.” Something tells me Starr isn’t much interested in what history has to say about him. I mean, have your read the Starr report on the adventures of Bill Clinton’s penis? D’Anne Witkowski has been gay for pay since 2003. She’s a freelance writer and poet (believe it!). When she’s not taking on the creeps of the world in her column she reviews rock and roll shows in Detroit with her twin sister and teaches writing at the University of Michigan. “This Proposition 8, this attempt to undo the good that has been done, this attempt to create divorces among 18,000 people who were perfectly legally brought together in partnerships, this is unacceptable and shows me why we always have to be vigilant, why we have always got to fight homophobic behavior and any form of discrimination,” Brown said March 5 at a Downing Street reception for GLBT VIPs. On March 4, the California Supreme Court heard oral arguments in the case seeking to overturn the constitutional amendment. It is widely expected that the effort will fail, with the justices deciding, in effect, that the right of the voters to amend the constitution is more sacrosanct than the constitutional guarantee of equal protection under the law. The court must issue its decision by early June.

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Letter to the Editor: When Parents Slip Up Dear ACCESSline Editor: One of my parents unthinkingly sent me the following email; included at the end is my response. From: ########### Sent: Wed, March 04, 2009 7:41 AM To: ########## Subject: FW: Why I voted Democrat I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I’ve decided to marry my horse. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would. I voted Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it. I voted Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they’re doing because they now think we’re

good people. I voted Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can’t tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don’t start driving a Prius. I voted Democrat because I’m not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive. I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters. I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass that it is unlikely that I’ll ever have another point of view.

My Response: From: ########### Sent: Wed, March 04, 2009 8:27 AM To: ########## Subject: Re: FW: Why I voted Democrat Hey, Mom: I dearly love you, but this is another email you might have thought about more before sending to me. Don’t worry, I’m not mad nor hurt; I am a little disappointed, but that is overpowered by my thrill at having a chance to debate a bit. Now I know this email is intended to point out absurdities, but the very first point it makes is to relate my relationship with Marie to marrying a horse. There are all sorts of places I could debate you on this email, but let’s stick with that one point. It’s a “slippery slope” argument about reducing the restrictions on which of any two people can marry. Slippery slope arguments are a propaganda technique intended to scare people with the very worst-case extreme scenario. But many people hearing a slippery slope never think about the fact

that the same argument can be turned the other way. Let’s turn the slippery slope around on marriage restrictions. If you restrict the rights of marriage to just fertile male/female couples (after all, the point of marriage is to produce and raise children), then let’s also restrict marriage to only those people who actually CAN conceive children. Therefore most senior citizens (especially women and particularly those who have had a hysterectomy) and all other infertile individuals would not be allowed to marry because they would be unable to fulfill the main purpose of marriage. Marriages in which one of the pair is discovered to be infertile would also need to be immediately annulled. We need to restrict who can be married, so why not take it to its logical conclusion? Makes sense, doesn’t it? There are many more restrictions that logically follow, but I will limit my response to that. Please discuss. With love, Your daughter, Susan

April 2009

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HEALTH & HIV/AIDS BRIEFS SScontinued from page 1

HIV Law INTENTIONAL, RECKLESS OR ACCIDENTAL? Before looking at the complexities of prosecuting people for infecting others with HIV, it is first necessary to understand the different types of transmission that can take place. The definitions below are based on general categories and are not specific to any particular country or legal system. Intentional Intentional (or deliberate or wilful) transmission, is considered the most serious form of criminal transmission. Some cases have involved individuals (both HIV+ and HIV-) who have used needles or other implements to intentionally infect others with HIV. Others have been based on HIV+ people who have had sex with the primary intent of transmitting the virus to their partner. Intentional transmission also sometimes takes place when a negative partner has an active desire to become infected with HIV (a practice sometimes referred to as ‘sexual thrill seeking’ or ‘bug chasing’). This is unlikely to lead to prosecution however as both parties consent. Reckless This is where HIV is transmitted through a careless rather than deliberate act. If for example a person who knows they have HIV has unprotected sex with a negative

person, but fails to inform them of the risk involved, this could be classed as reckless transmission in court. “Reckless” here implies that transmission took place as part of the pursuit of sexual gratification rather than because the HIV+ person intended to give their partner HIV (HIV is of course not ‘automatically’ transmitted every time someone has unprotected sex). Accidental This is the most common way that HIV is passed on. A person is generally said to have accidentally transmitted HIV if: They were unaware that they had the virus, and therefore did not feel the need to take measures to protect their partner. They were aware of their HIV+ status and they used a condom during sex, but the condom failed in some way (although there is some debate over whether this should in fact be classed as a reckless act, as we shall see later). THE COMPLEXITIES OF PROSECUTION Unfortunately deciding if someone has intentionally, recklessly or accidentally transmitted HIV is not as simple as the explanations above may suggest. The divisions between each of the three categories can be very blurred, and depend largely on individual interpretation. Even after a decision has been made on what grounds to prosecute, a court may still have a hard time

The different ways two people, ‘A’ and ‘B’, could be infected with similar HIV strains. deciding whether to find someone guilty or not. Some of the most problematic issues include: Proof It might appear that proof is a straightforward issue, but proving that an individual has transmitted HIV can be exceedingly difficult. Firstly it needs to be proven that the accused (let’s call them A) was definitely the source of the accuser’s (B) HIV. This would involve a range of evidence including sexual history, testing history and scientific evidence in the form of phylogenetics. This compares the DNA of the virus that A and B are infected with (see the Richard D. Schmidt case study, below, for application in US courts). If they are completely different then it means B almost certainly did not acquire HIV from A, and the case would probably be thrown out. If the strains

2009 Wellness Summit, May 8-10th PITCH (Positive Iowans Taking Charge) is pleased to announce the 2009 Wellness Summit, “Planting Seeds to a Healthy Life” will be held May 8-10th, at Camp Wesley Woods near Indianola, IA. In 2008, PITCH took a more prominent role in the organization and administration of the event. We are excited that in 2009 we will be the lead sponsor and sole organizer of the annual Wellness Summit. Funding for the Wellness Summit is provided by the All Iowa AIDS Benefit. The Wellness Summit is designed to assist HIV+ Iowans to improve their overall health and quality of life. Participants are also encouraged to share their experiences and knowledge with others who might be going through similar challenges. It is a time when people from across Iowa come together in a safe, non-judgmental environment. It is a time to renew and refresh mind, heart, and spirit. Participants of the Wellness Summit will have the opportunity to attend educational sessions including prevention and education, medication compliance, chronic immunodeficiency and depression, and dealing with HIV and stigma. Exploration skills to increase health and well-being are also scheduled. For the last two years summit partici-

are very similar, however, it is possible, though not conclusive, that A infected B. Phylogenetics can not reliably estimate the direction of transmission and therefore it is possible that B infected A. Furthermore, both could have been infected by the same third party, or different third parties who shared similar strains of HIV. Due to its shortcomings, advocates recommend phylogenetic evidence should only be considered in the context of all other evidence. Often, the only definitive proof would be a negative test on B that was performed after A received a positive test. Even so, if the complainant had had multiple sexual partners, pinning responsibility on a particular individual could be very difficult. ... To read the complete article , go to AVERT is an international HIV and AIDS charity based in the UK, working to AVERT HIV and AIDS worldwide.

The PITCH Living Quilt pants have created panels for a “Living Quilt.” The Living Quilt is a way that people living with HIV/AIDS can express how they feel, the things that they go through daily, being long-term survivors and newly diagnosed individuals. PITCH displays the living quilt at various events throughout the year as an educational tool, so people can see how HIV affects the lives of Iowans. All Iowans living with HIV who are able to attend the event are encouraged to register. However, participation is limited to 40 people, with each region having been allotted a set number of slots for the events. Everyone is encouraged to contact their local ASO (AIDS Service Organization) for an application. There is a minimal $15.00 registration fee.

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ACCESSline’s fun guide Des Moines Gay Men’s Chorus Is Sweet Indeed

Des Moines, Iowa - The Des Moines Gay Men’s Chorus put on a very sweet performance at the Metropolitan Presbyterian Church Friday, March 27th and Saturday, March 28th. The entertaining—and tasty—show was staged as a cabaretstyle event, a new approach for this eight-year-old chorus. Entering the venue, audience members were greeted with round tables for eight comfortably filling the room. Each table was adorned with a terraced and fabric-draped centerpiece, decorated with confetti and ribbon, and creatively arranged with a variety of tempting desserts, including cheesecake, pineapple upside-down cake, chocolate torte, and more. Each setting was provided with a petite coffee cup and each table prepared with cream and sugar. Eating utensils, however, were cleverly absent at the start of the evening. After a brief welcome and an introduction to the theme of the evening (love in all its flavors) the performance commenced with the members of the chorus singing “Fever” as they strolled between the tables toward the risers at the front of the room. This intermingling of performers and audience turned out to be one of many well-planned strategies for the evening. Having the men of the chorus all around and mixed among the tables provided a very personal feeling that can be hard to achieve with “stage-and-seating” performances, even with well-loved community ensembles like the Gay Men’s Chorus. After “Fever”, the Chorus’s Artistic Director and conductor, Rebecca Gruber, made an on-stage cameo with a cute and brief little monologue, starting with the tongue in cheek declaration: “I like men! Is there anybody else here tonight who likes men?” Her fun and campy introductory verse of “Stouthearted Men” was then usurped by the chorus as they good-naturedly escorted her off the risers and back to the conductor’s stand.

Some of the mouth-watering desserts provided by caterer Sue Hoss, Room for Dessert. Following this number, men of the chorus moved back out to the audience, proving that the evening was not only well-rehearsed, but efficient: the members of the chorus would be providing the table service, bringing the audience’s eating utensils and serving coffee and ice water. As soloist Ken Hanson flirted his way through the front tables singing “My Heart Belongs to Daddy” (to as many daddies as he could find), the audience discovered that the desserts—provided by well-known Des Moines caterer and food writer, Sue Hoss, Room for Dessert—were every bit as enjoyable as the performance. The next treat of the evening was a new small ensemble, HarMENy, made up of eight of the chorus members. Their version of “Cell Block Tango” from the musical Chicago was cleverly choreographed and capably performed. This smaller

ensemble, which practiced and rehearsed under the direction of Ben Hagen, provided the Chorus with an opportunity to showcase numbers with more choreography than can easily be achieved by a larger ensemble (particularly when performing on risers). HarMENy would return again later in the evening to ably perform Billy Joel’s “For the Longest Time” and a touching “Bridge Over Troubled Water”. The ensemble’s moment to really shine, artistically, came with the haunting “Not While I’m Around” from Sweeney Todd, which was so beautifully balanced and so longingly sung that it brought some members of the audience to tears. Changing gears again (and adding a bit of spice to the sweetness of the evening) the chorus performed the bawdy and bouncy “Can That Boy Fox-Trot”, which included an appearance by the founder of the Chorus, Dr. Randal A. Buikema. The evening’s most emotional moment was undeniably Craig T. Caster singing “To Where You Are”, a song that only last month he sang at his own mother’s memorial service. Also of note was Wyatt Reicherts, powerfully performing “This is the Moment” from Jekyll and Hyde. To bring an end to the delicious evening, Rebecca Gruber led a rousing “Johnny, Johnny”, with audience participation, to the tune of Issachar Miron’s “Tzena Tzena”. Through the entire evening, the accompaniment (Ben Hagen on keyboard, plus bass and drums) was impeccable, and sign language interpreter Donna Scharfe made sure that anyone who could not fully hear the performance did not miss out on its depth and emotion. Des Moines is extremely fortunate indeed to have such a talented and well directed Gay Men’s Chorus. The next concert by the Des Moines Gay Men’s Chorus is “Naked Pride”, June 12, 2009, Sheslow Auditorium.

Garden Mix

The Des Moines nightclub, The Garden, is a sign of the world to come. Historically, the LGBT community has created its own bars so its members could be together and act like themselves: kiss who they want to, dress how they want to, be as effeminate or as butch as they naturally are, with no fear of judgement or persecution. This self-imposed segregation was a requirement, because society at large was not accepting of our particular minority. Times have changed. For proof of this, one need only visit The Garden nightclub. Here, members of the younger generation— the generation of MySpace and Facebook and Twitter and Flickr—gather and express themselves regardless of orientation. My first impression, being a member of the “Twitter-is-what-exactly?” generation, was that the bar had been overrun with

sightseeing heterosexuals. A girl/boy couple was being very physical with each other in a grab-ass, suck-face kind of way. (Of course, at the same time, a girl/girl couple was in another part of the room, apparently performing oral surgery on each other using their tongues.) But the girl/boy couple seemed to be invaders—until a boy/boy couple joined them at the table and it became obvious that this was just two couples who were having a good time at The Garden, all together. Boyfriends bring boyfriends and boyfriends bring girlfriends and girlfriends bring girlfriends and everybody plays well together. And isn’t this what we’ve wanted all along: to be treated the same as everybody else around us, and love the people we love, openly in the presence of our friends... regardless of their orientation or gender?

Chris, Brooke and John all costumed up for The Garden’s annual 80s Bomb Party on March 27, 2009.

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the fun guide

April 2009

IowaLisa’s List by Lisa Schreihart This is a list of Iowa’s live music, arts, social events and culture for, by, featuring, and of interest to women and friends. To submit events and announcements, or to sign up a friend to receive this list by e-mail, e-mail To view this list on-line, go to ONE-TIME EVENTS:

Wednesday, April 1, 7-8:30 p.m., RAINBOW READING GROUP, “Anything but Straight,” by Wayne R. Besen. Hosted by Connections. Meet in Meeting Room C of the Iowa City Public Library. April 1-4, MISSION CREEK MUSIC FESTIVAL, all over Iowa City. Keep a look out for more details. PIETA BROWN plays at the Mill Restaurant, 120 E. Burlington St., on Wednesday, April 1, 8 p.m., as part of this festival. Visit www. for more info and tix. For shows held at the Mill, visit Thursday, April 2, 7 p.m., TINY GARDENS, LOTS OF FOOD, at Indian Creek Nature Center, 6665 Otis Rd. SE, Cedar Rapids. If you are interested in less expensive food that is also fresher and safer, join Judy Kash for suggestions and encouragement for growing some of your own food - even with limited garden space, time, money, and experience. Cost: $5 member, $8 non-member. Friday, April 3, 8 p.m., THE REFUGEES at CSPS, 1103 3rd St. SE, Cedar Rapids. For more info or tix, visit, call 319-3641580, or e-mail The Refugees are accomplished veteran performers Cindy Bullens (once a backup singer for Elton John and a Grease movie soundtrack composer, now a solo artist), Deborah Holland (formerly of the band Animal Logic, now a solo performer, film and TV composer, and professor at California State U), and Wendy Waldman (best known for her songwriting that’s benefited over 70 artists including Vanessa Williams (Save the Best for Last), Linda Ronstadt and Kathy Mattea). Tix are $17 in advance, $20 day of show. Monday, April 6, 5:30-7:30 p.m., THIRD PLACES at The Bohemian Café and Pub, 95 16th Ave. SW, Cedar Rapids. Following the flood of 2008, the Professional and Technical Diversity Network (PTDN) will support one of the flooded businesses in the Czech Village as the area revitalizes. PTDN is a social network of diverse individuals who want to meet new people and experience what the Corridor has to offer. Everyone is welcome! Tuesday-Wednesday, April 7-8, 7:30 p.m., THE DROWSY CHAPERONE, a musical within a comedy, at Gallagher-Bluedorn Performing Arts Center, on the campus of the University of Northern Iowa, Cedar Falls. For more info or tix, call 319-273-4TIX or visit Wednesday, April 8, 8 p.m., LEZ ZEPPLIN, an all-female Led Zepplin-esque rock band at The Englert Theatre, 221 E. Washington St., Iowa City. Since forming in 2004, the New York City-based quartet has toured throughout the United States and Europe to become the first and foremost female rock act to pay homage to Led Zeppelin and to garner rave reviews across the board. Presented by 100.7 The Fox. I caught them at Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival on the mainstage a few years ago, so I’m like, wow, yay, The Fox. All tickets $17, available at the box office from 1-6 p.m., on-line at, or by phone at 319-688-2653.. Friday, April 10, 9 p.m., Kevin Gordon with special guest BEJAE FLEMING (opening) at the Mill Restaurant, 120 E. Burlington St., Iowa City. $8 admission at the door. For more info, call 319-351-9529 or visit Tuesday, April 14, 9 p.m., TUESDAY NIGHT SOCIAL CLUB with Harlain Muir, Olivia Rose Muzzy, Banjo Kellie, at the Mill Restaurant, 120 E. Burlington St., Iowa City. An old-fashioned hoe-down with a dash of chamber-pop? A classic

rave-up of antique banjos, accordions, and loop pedals? That ole’ country hollering, sea-shanty bellowing, and a touch of Bjork-esque singing? Yep, all of the above. Local virtuosos, Harlan Muir, Olivia Rose Muzzy, and Banjo Kellie display their knack for quirky and intriguing songwriting, taking us to places both traditional and experimental. Free. For more info, call 319-351-9529. Visit and oliviarosemuzzy. Wednesday-Friday, April 15-17, CHOOSING TO LEAD: Leveraging Your Personal Power, at the Coralville Hotel and Conference Center. This dynamic three-day conference will feature accredited female leaders from across the country, offering professional and personal development workshops, powerful speakers, motivational stories, and more! For more info and to register, visit Friday, April 17, 9 p.m., JODIE FOSTER CONNECTION in concert, at 1st Avenue Live, in the Town and Country Mall, 38th and 1st Ave. SE, Cedar Rapids. Saturday, April 18, 8 p.m., singer-songwriterpianist VIENNA TENG at CSPS, 1103 3rd St. SE, Cedar Rapids. For more info or tix, visit www., call 319-364-1580, or e-mail info@ Friday-Saturday, April 17-18, SPIRITUALITY IN THE 21ST CENTURY CONFERENCE at Prairiewoods Franciscan Spirituality Center, featuring Judy Cannato, author of Radical Amazement. Cannato will speak on “An Invitation to Radical Amazement,’’ a look at how modern science challenges us to step beyond some of our long-held ideas into new concepts about the universe. Saturday’s program, “Creating a Field of Compassion: A Hopeful Response to the Challenge of Our Times” draws upon recent findings of modern science to suggest ways people can engage in the work of human transformation. To register and for more info, visit Saturday, April 18, 9:30 a.m., EARTH DAY TREE PLANTING at Indian Creek Nature Center, 6665 Otis Rd. SE, Cedar Rapids. Help diversify the woods as part of a wetland restoration. Bring a shovel, wear old clothes, and be prepared to get dirty. Participate in a tree-planting ceremony. Free. Thursday, April 23, 10 a.m.-1 p.m., 5th ANNUAL LADIES SPRING LUNCHEON, to benefit Theatre Cedar Rapids, inspired by their upcoming production of Hair. Shopping starts at 10 a.m., and lunch is served in the Grand Ballroom of the Cedar Rapids Country Club at noon. Shopping opportunities include an Artisans Market and a Silent Auction, including fresh-potted herbs, local and national artists, painted glass works, clay art, and culinary delights. For reservations, call 319-366-8591. Individual reservations are $50. Tables of 8 cost $500; half tables $250. Shop, lunch, and go is $30 and includes shopping from 10 a.m. til noon and a boxed lunch to go. Thursday, April 23, 7 p.m., LESLIE AND THE LYS at People’s Court, 216 Court Ave., third floor, Des Moines. Tix $12 in advance, $14 at door. Visit www.peoplescourtdesmoinesiowa. com. But tix at Check out Saturday, April 25, WOMEN AND MONEY CONFERENCE, Free! This conference includes a great line up of speakers and has limited seating capacity. For more information about breakout sessions that will be offered and to register for

this conference, please go to For more info, contact Judy Stoffel at United Way of East Central Iowa at Saturday, April 25, 8 a.m.-3:30 p.m., 16th ANNUAL WOMEN’S WALKING WORKSHOP at Indian Creek Nature Center, 6665 Otis Rd. SE, Cedar Rapids. For more info, e-mail, call 319-362-0664, or visit The Workshop features motivational speakers, invigorating walks, healthy lifestyle ideas, chair massages, and a yoga lesson, and it will provide a start to or fuel for your personal walking program! May 1-16, HAIR, presented by Theatre Cedar Rapids, at TCR Lindale, 4444 1st Ave. NE. For more info or tickets, call 319-366-8591 or visit Saturday, May 2, 6-11 p.m., VENUS ENVY – QUAD CITIES, at the Bucktown Center for the Arts, Davenport. This event is a celebration of female creativity, empowering women through the arts of music, theatre, visual arts, multimedia installations, written and spoken word. The Venus Envy event is intended for mature audiences only. The Venus Envy Exhibit will remain on show through May 22. For more info, go to www.venusenvyqc. org or e-mail Saturday, May 2, 9 p.m., JODIE FOSTER CONNECTION at Volume, Cedar Rapids. Saturday, May 2, 9 a.m.-Noon, ANNUAL SPRING PLANT SALE at Indian Creek Nature Center, 6665 Otis Rd. SE, Cedar Rapids. This event raises funds for the ICNC. Vendors garden art, accessories, and plants such as wildflowers, prairie grasses and flowers, hostas, geraniums, and various perennials. Through May 10, GIRLS ONLY at the Prairie Meadows Temple Theatre, 10th and Locust Sts., downtown Des Moines. Girls Only is an original comedy that celebrates the honor, truth, humor and silliness of being female. With a two-woman cast and audiences full of raucous, laughing ladies, the show has found quick popularity in its unique examination of all things girly. For tickets, visit May 5-7, 7:30 p.m., RIVERDANCE, Farewell Performances, at the Gallagher-Bluedorn Performing Arts Center, on the campus of the University of Northern Iowa, Cedar Falls. For more info or tix, call 319-273-4TIX or visit www. Friday, May 9, 8 p.m., rising star of African music, DOBET GNAHORE from the Ivory Coast, at CSPS, 1103 3rd St. SE, Cedar Rapids. For more info or tix, visit, call 319-3641580, or e-mail Saturday, May 16, Noon, CAPITAL CITY PRIDE VOLLEYBALL TOURNAMENT, at the Sands Volleyball Complex in West Des Moines. 6 on 6 play with a maximum of 8 people per team. At least half of your team must consist of boys or girls in full drag. Cost is $100 per team and all proceeds go to Capital City Pride. Limited to the first 16 teams. If you don’t have a team, you can be added to another team. To sign up or for more info, call Justin 515-669-0801 or Todd 515-979-4688. RECURRING EVENTS: Every Sunday, 5-6 p.m., GLBT AA, First Baptist Church at 500 N. Clinton St., Iowa City. For more info about Intergroup and Alcoholics Anonymous call the 24-Hour Answering Service

at 319-338-9111 or visit the AA-IC website: http:// Every Sunday, 6-8:30 p.m., THE QUIRE: Eastern Iowa’s GLBT Chorus Rehearsals, at Zion Lutheran Church, 310 N. Johnson St, Iowa City. Membership is open to all GLBT folks, as well as allies who support the community. There are no auditions; you only need to be willing to attend rehearsals regularly and learn your music. The Quire prepares two full concerts each year in the winter and spring, and occasionally performs shorter programs at events in the Iowa City/Cedar Rapids area. The Quire is a member of Gay and Lesbian Association of Choruses (GALA), and has developed a reputation for excellence and variety in its concert programs. For more info, visit http:// Every 1st and 3rd Sunday of the month, 3-6 p.m., TANGO LESSONS at CSPS, 1103 3rd St. SE, Cedar Rapids. Cost is $5. Everyone welcome; no partner or experience necessary. For more info, call Elie at 319-363-1818 or e-mail Second Sunday of the month, 3-4 p.m., IOWA CITY PRIDE PLANNING COMMITTEE, Iowa City Public Library, Meeting Room E. Come help plan the 2009 Iowa City Pride Festival. For more info, contact Bridget at malone.bridget@ Third Monday of every month, 6 p.m., PFLAG of Cedar Rapids Metro Area meets at Faith United Methodist Church, 1000 30th St. NE, Cedar Rapids. For more info, call 515-537-3126. Second Tuesday of each month, 7-8:30 p.m., SPIRITUAL SEEKERS, at Trinity Episcopal Church, 320 E. College St, Iowa City. Spiritual Seekers is a group for people of all faiths, or of little faith, who wish to make deeper connections between their sexual identities and the spiritual dimension in their lives. Meetings include discussion of specialized topics, telling of pieces of our faith journeys, and occasional prayer and meditation. (On the 4th Tuesday of each month, the group gathers at a local restaurant for food and fellowship.) For more info, contact Tom Stevenson: or 319.354.1784. Every Tuesday, 7-8:30 p.m., CONNECTIONS INCLUSIVE BALLROOM at Old Brick 26 E. Market St, Iowa City. An equal opportunity social dance workshop/rehearsal for LGBT people. All skill levels are welcome. American social dance, Latin, a mix of dance from the last 100 years. For more info, contact Mark McCusker at, 319-621-8530 or Nora Garda at 319-400-4695, or visit Second Tuesday of the month, 6:30-8 p.m., GLRC OF CEDAR RAPIDS BOARD MEETING at 6300 Rockwell Dr, Cedar Rapids. Meetings are open to the general public. For more info, call 319-366-2055 or visit: Every Tuesday, 8 p.m., OPEN CIRCLE DRUMMING with Rusty Ekland, www.malikan. com, at Ritual Café, on 13th St. between Grand & Locust, downtown Des Moines, 515-288-4872. Drumming is in the world, traditional West African style. Free. Second Tuesday of every month, WOMEN FOR PEACE KNITTERS meet for knitting, crocheting, and discussion, 9:30-11 a.m. at Prairiewoods, 120 E. Boyson Rd., Hiawatha. For more info, call 319-377-3252 or go to All ages and levels of needlework skills welcome. Come knit for charities.

April 2009

the fun guide

Deep Inside Hollywood by Romeo San Vicente

James Franco would be playing Ginsberg in Howl, but now along comes Jesse Eisenberg (Adventureland, The Squid and the Whale) to portray Ginsberg in another biopic. (Ironically, Milk –featuring Franco – put the kibosh on a rival, long-gestating Harvey Milk project, The Mayor of Castro Street.) Eisenberg will star opposite Chris Evans (as Jack Kerouac) and Ben Whishaw (as Julien Carr) in Kill Your Darlings, which lesbian indie-legend Christine Vachon will produce. (More parallels: Vachon also produced Infamous, the “other” Capote movie.) Kill Your Darlings is currently set for a 2012 release, meaning more beatniks than you can snap your fingers at coming soon to a theater near you.

Ellen’s going to be a mom – Mother Nature, that is She’s the award-winning host of a successful talk show. She’s the face of Cover Girl. She’s got a hot wife. And she even got herself onto a future cover of Oprah’s magazine. What else is there for Ellen DeGeneres to accomplish? Well, she’s giving the movies another shot, after mixed success in the past. (Finding Nemo, yay; Mr. Wrong, nay.) DeGeneres will star as Mother Nature, returning to Earth for the first time since creation, in an as-yet-unnamed comedy written by former Sex and the City producer Jenny Bicks. And here’s proof that no one seems to be both-

ered by DeGeneres’ sexuality anymore: the film is being produced by Walden Media, the Christian-owned company behind the Narnia flicks. Shooting starts this summer while her talk show is on hiatus, so look for this Mother to whip up a box-office storm in 2010. Jesse Eisenberg: The other Allen Ginsberg Allen Ginsberg is the new Truman Capote; in the same way that two rival movies popped up about the gay author of In Cold Blood, we now have two competing films about queer Beat poet Allen Ginsberg. Romeo previously reported that

Daniel Barnz mixes beauty and Beastly One of the brighter directorial debuts of 2009 so far has been gay filmmaker Daniel Barnz’s indie drama Phoebe in Wonderland, and this up-and-comer has already announced his next project – Beastly, which puts a teen spin on the Beauty and the Beast legend. Based on the novel by Alex Finn, Beastly tells the story of a 17-year-old boy who is turned into a monster by a classmate. Rumors are swirling that Gossip Girl’s Leighton Meester is the leading contender to play the girl who sees past his hideous exterior and falls in love with the wounded soul within. (Zac Efron allegedly turned down the male lead, no doubt holding off on playing ugly until his desire for an Oscar

Every Tuesday evening, 7:30-9:30 p.m., ARGENTINE TANGO practice and open dance, at the Iowa City Senior Center, 28 S. Linn St, Iowa City. A donation of $1-2 per person is requested for use of the Senior Center. For more info, contact Karen Jackson at 319-447-1445 or e-mail Every Tuesday evening, 7 p.m., OUT (Our United Truth): A GLBT Support Group meets 7-8:30 p.m. at the Unitarian Universalist Church, 3707 Eastern Ave., Davenport. For more info, call 563-359-0816. First Wednesday of every month, CEDAR RAPIDS CHARTER CHAPTER OF THE AMERICAN BUSINESS WOMEN’S ASSOCIATION meets. For more info, visit charter-chapter. Every Wednesday of the month, 7 p.m., RAINBOW READING GROUP, Iowa City Public Library Meeting Room B, 123 S. Linn St., Iowa City. For more info, contact Todd at: faunides@ Second Wednesday of every month, 6:30-8 p.m., STONEWALL DEMOCRATS, the GLBT Caucus of the Democratic Party, meets at Hamburger Mary’s, 222 Glenbrook Dr. SE, behind 2nd Wind off of 1st Ave SE in Cedar Rapids. For more info, contact Greg Williams, President of the Linn Co. Chapter, at or call 319-389-0093. Second Wednesday of every month, 7-9 p.m., CONNECTIONS GAME NIGHT, at Donnelly’s Pub in downtown Iowa City. Every Wednesday, 7-9 p.m., U OF I GAY LESBIAN BISEXUAL TRANSGENDER AND ALLIES UNION MEETINGS at U of I LGBT Center, 125 Grand Ave Ct., Iowa City. For more info, visit First, third, and fifth Thursdays of each month, 6:30-8:30 p.m., EVENINGS FOR SPIRIT at SpiritHill Retreat, 604 Cedar Valley Road, West Branch.

Women gather at SpiritHill to share our spiritual experiences, visions and longings. The evenings include time for sharing and time for silence. Laughter, tears and singing are often shared as well. No specific spiritual practice is followed. This event is always open to newcomers. For more info, call 319-643-2613, or e-mail Second Thursday of the month, 7-9 p.m., OPEN MIC WITH MARY MCADAMS at Ritual Café, on 13th St. between Locust and Grand, downtown Des Moines. Visit For more info, e-mail Third Thursday of every month, 7-10 p.m., OPEN MIC HOSTED BY KIMBERLI, at the Blue Strawberry Coffee Company (now open after the flood), 118 2nd St. SE, Downtown Cedar Rapids. Signup at 6:30 p.m. or by e-mailing the week prior to the open mic. Every 4th Thursday of the month, PROFESSIONAL WOMEN’S NETWORK (PWN) meetings. For more info, visit, e-mail, or call Shelley Woods at 319-981-9887. Every 4th Thursday of the month, 7:30 p.m., THE GLBT READING GROUP meets in the conference room at Red Cross Building at 6300 Rockwell Dr. NE, Cedar Rapids. The group is open to new members; contact crglbtreadinggroup@ for further info. Every Thursday and Friday, 6-10 p.m., SHANNON JANSSEN at The Cedar Grille at the Cedar Rapids Marriott, 1200 Collins Rd. NE, Cedar Rapids. Shannon performs a variety of music including original songs on the Grand Piano in the hotel’s beautiful atrium. No reservations required. Every Friday, 6 p.m., “What the Bleep Do We Know” Happy Hour at Ritual Café, on 13th St. between Grand & Locust, downtown Des Moines, 515-288-4872. Join your Ritual Café friends “down the rabbit hole” and redefine happy hour as we meet weekly to explore science and

spirituality. No Cover. First Friday of the month, FAIRFIELD ART WALK. For more info, visit Every 2nd and 4th Friday of the each month at 7 p.m., a DRUMMING CIRCLE meets at the Unity Center of Cedar Rapids, 3791 Blairs Ferry Rd. NE, Cedar Rapids. For more info, call 319-431-7550. Third Friday of every month, 8 p.m., OLDTIME DANCE FOR ALL. For those who like old-time music and dance, come to a Barn Dance 12 miles east of Iowa City at Scattergood Friends School. Admission is $5.00 per person. Singles and couples, beginners and veterans welcome. The music is live, and all dances are taught and called (that is, prompted while the music is playing). Note: (1) same-sex couples are common at these dances, (2) they’re no-alcohol, no-smoking events, (3) every dance is taught, so beginners are welcome, and (4) people can attend alone or with a partner. People of a variety of ages show up, and the atmosphere is friendly and inclusive. To reach Scattergood, take I-80 to exit 254. Go north into West Branch, down the hill past the Hoover birthplace to the stop sign. The Post Office will be on your left. Turn right and go two miles east, out of town, to Delta Avenue. There is a sign that says “Scattergood School” on the right side of the road. Turn right again and go one-half mile south. The Scattergood entrance is on the right just north of the bridge over I-80. The dance will be in the north wing of the large brick building on your right. Park anywhere on the circle drive. Enter the building by the west door, on the left side as you come from the drive. For more info, phone 643-7600 (Scattergood) or email Every Saturday, noon to 1 p.m., WOMEN FOR PEACE IOWA host Weekly Street Corner Vigils for peace, rain or shine. Meet at the corner of 1st Ave. and Collins Rd. SE (in front of Granite City Brewery), Cedar Rapids. Show your support

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becomes uncontrollable.) Beastly could go into production as early as this summer – and it really should if it wants to bask in, and soak up residual cash from, that hot Twilight-adjacent glow. Mary J. Blige says ‘yes, more drama’ for Tyler Perry Prolific filmmaker Tyler Perry recently admitted that he’s been doing everything short of stalking Miss Diana Ross in the hopes of getting her to star in one of his movies. But even if Madea Meets Mahogany never happens, Perry has already gotten another great R&B diva to go before his camera. Mary J. Blige will star opposite Oscar nominee Taraji P. Henson in Perry’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself. Based on one of Perry’s successful stage plays, the film explores a woman (Henson) fighting for her marriage even though, unbeknownst to her, her no-good husband is shacking up with her sister. Blige plays a nightclub owner who’s a friend of both Henson’s character and Perry’s iconic Madea. The movie opens this September, just in time for Oscar consideration for whatever musical contribution Blige supplies to the soundtrack. She will sing, won’t she? She has to, right? Romeo San Vicente can do bad all by himself, but it’s much more fun with two or three other people helping out. He can be reached care of this publication or at for our troops by calling for their return from Iraq. For more info, e-mail Fourth Saturday of every month, 7:30 p.m., TANGOVIA, join area tango dancers at the Wesley Center, 120 N. Dubuque St., Iowa City. Enjoy a candlelit evening of dance, hors d’oeuvres, and conversation in a relaxed atmosphere. Cost is $5. Partner not necessary. Beginners welcome to come at 7 p.m. for an introductory lesson. For more info, call Gail at 319-325-9630, e-mail irelandg@gmail. com, or visit Fourth Saturday of every month, 7 p.m., THE LESBIAN BOOK CLUB is reading books by or about lesbians. Non-lesbians are welcome to attend. All meetings are held at the Unitarian Universalist Church, 3707 Eastern Ave., Davenport. For more info, call 563-359-0816. Every Saturday, 3:30-5:30 p.m., BAILE LATINO: SALSA, CHA-CHA, MERENGUE AND BACHATA LESSONS taught by Gloria Zmolek, at CSPS, 1103 3rd St. SE, Cedar Rapids. No experience or partner necessary. All ages welcome. No sign-up required. $5 per person requested. For more info, contact Gloria at 319-365-9611 or visit Hamburger Mary’s Weekly Happenings, at 222 Glenbrook Dr. SE, Cedar Rapids, off of 1st Ave. Tuesdays – Kid’s Night; Wednesdays – Thift Store Bingo at 10 p.m. with Katrina Cass; Thursdays – Mary-oke with Nic from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m.; Fridays – Drag Show at 9 p.m. (all ages) and 11 p.m. (21 and over); Mimosa Brunch 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., Open Mic Night followed by Drag Show at 9 p.m. (all ages) and 11 p.m. (21 and over); Sundays – Mimosa Brunch 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. For more info, e-mail or visit Lisa Schreihart runs the Iowa Women’s Music & Events blog (, which promotes concerts and events of interest to and featuring women in most of Iowa.

the fun guide

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Cocktail Chatter by Camper English Colder, smaller, weaker: Better martinis The diplomatic way of defining the “best martini” is as “the martini that you like the best.” But, really, if you’re pulling a jug of vodka out of the freezer and pouring it into a glass, you’re not drinking a martini at all. You’re drinking a glass of cold vodka. Add olives and you’ve got vodka with a snack. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I drink cold vodka all the time, and who doesn’t enjoy a string of olives for dinner? But a martini is a mixed drink, necessitating more than one ingredient to mix into it. The working theory is that the martini started as a spinoff of the Martinez, a cocktail made with sweetened gin, sweet vermouth, maraschino liqueur and bitters (with a lemon twist). As tastes in cocktails shifted away from sweet drinks, the “Dry Martini” made with dry vermouth became more popular, and eventually most everybody forgot about the bitters. Vodka didn’t become an option until later. Given the variations over time, you could rightfully order your martini made with gin or vodka, sweet or dry vermouth or none at all, bitters or not, olives or a twist – and you could find a published recipe to back it up. None are the “right” way to make a martini, but I would encourage experimentation to find the way that’s right for you. While jumbo-sized martini glasses used in many bars provide a lot of liquor for the dollar, by the time you get to the bottom half

you’re drinking room-temperature alcohol. That is bad. Or worse, it’s a warm salt bath if you’ve got the extra-large-sized olives in there that help to heat it up. The very classiest of bars serve their martinis in very small, very cold glasses – with an additional quantity of the drink in an ice-chilled container on the side. That is lovely. At home, I use vintage (small) glassware and keep the remainder cooling of the strained drink in the freezer. Do not fear vermouth. Try it and you might find you actually like it – but probably not the 4-year-old, mostly full bottle gathering dust in the back of your liquor cabinet. Use a fresh bottle. Vermouth spoils like wine after opening, so buy small bottles and keep them in the refrigerator to lengthen their life span. Ice, too, is an ingredient in the drink. If you keep your vodka or gin in the freezer, not much water will melt into your martini. Dilution brings the drink down to a manageable level of alcoholic strength to keep you from making that too-strong scrunchy face that gives you wrinkles. A martini should be refreshing, not painful. The shaken-versus-stirred decision is not worth the weight given to it. Shaking adds ice chips and air bubbles that make the drink look cloudy and taste fizzy, whereas stirring results in a clear and smooth cocktail from the get-go. I prefer a stirred martini when I’m at a nice cocktail lounge, but I do often shake them at home. Not because it tastes better, but because shaking is more fun.

Bar-havioral Problems Gay bar bartenders, who are not necessarily gay bartenders, are usually the most efficient and fair intoxicologists in the drinking universe. I say “fair” because at straight establishments, hot women and rich-looking men (usually jerks) get first priority, and the bartenders frequently take drink orders out of order. Infuriating! This is not often the case in gay watering holes, where the bartenders tend to be the hottest people in the room and don’t need to impress you by serving you first (you need impress them with the size of your tips). Also, gay bar patrons know how to behave (toward the bartender anyway) and will often line up in an orderly fashion at the drink well rather than shouting and waving like the opening scene of The Love Boat all along the bar. I take straight friends to my favorite gay bar and they are amazed at the German-like efficiency in place. They are often jealous and determine to start coming there every night, until they hear the 14th Madonna remix in a row. I can’t say I blame them. In a nightclub or other crowded venue, or anywhere with a mixed crowd, all bets for orderly ordering are off. You need to gain the attention of the bartender as well as make him or her think you’re going to be a good (i.e., fast, non-annoying) customer. Here are a few suggestions for attracting the bartender and keeping his attention. Look available. You want to make eye contact with the bartender and have her give

April 2009

you the “I see you” nod. To accomplish this, face the bar, not your friends behind you. If you’re turned around chatting and using the bar as a leaning post, you’re not giving the right signal. Be ready. When you are trying to get the bartender’s attention, have visible cash in your hand – but don’t wave it around unless there is a row of drag queens in sixinch heels blocking your line of sight. And if you’re planning to pay with a credit card, you may want to keep that hidden. It takes longer to process, so the bartender will serve the cash-holding folks first. Also, be ready with your friends’ drink orders. Don’t wait until the bartender gets there to turn around and say, “What do you guys want?” As the person standing next to you, I’ll swoop in and say “Three martinis please” when your back is turned. I’m like that. Strategize. Don’t shout to get the bartender’s attention. Nobody likes to be yelled at while doing their job. A friendly “Hi!” sometimes helps though. Make your first tip the most generous one to help ensure prompt service and healthy pours for the rest of the evening. And be respectful of others – if the guy next to you was waiting longer but the bartender comes to you, give him the “he was here first” point. The bartender will remember that you’re next, and you never know if that guy next to you will return the favor and pay for your drink. Camper English is a cocktails and spirits writer and publisher of

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The Outfield by Dan Woog Bodybuilding – And Beyond

When author Benoit Denizet-Lewis began researching America Anonymous: Eight Addicts in Search of a Life, he wanted his book about addicts to include someone from the LGBT community. In “Todd” – a 40-year-old addicted to steroids and crystal meth – he found a complex character: a bisexual bodybuilder with a sideline as a male escort. Todd took Denizet-Lewis into a world where sport and sexuality mix warily. Issues of body worship, homoeroticism and self-esteem – never far from the surface in any athletic endeavor – are magnified in the hyper-masculinized arena of male bodybuilding. Denizet-Lewis – a gay man and former athlete who chronicles his own sex addiction in the book – admits, “I didn’t know a lot about bodybuilding before I met Todd. But I had a friend who was into it, and I’ve always been fascinated by that culture.” As he got to know Todd, Denizet-Lewis realized that “a lot of gay men struggle with body image. Many of us think that our body is not big enough, toned enough or perfect enough.” At the same time, some gay men – and a number of bodybuilders – engage in contradictory behavior: using steroids to get bigger, and party drugs that make bodies smaller. In his book, Denizet-Lewis says, “I wanted to explain why gay and bi men have higher rates of addictions.” Part of

the reason, he says, stems Matyi recognizes Todd’s from growing up in a culture addiction, and calls it psychothat teaches gay boys, at an logical. Steroids make a early age, to feel ashamed. person feel “powerful, domiAs a result, he says, “we learn nant, unapologetic,” Matyi how to compartmentalize, says. That helps them project lie, pretend, and not share confidence during competiourselves with others. It’s no tions. It also explains, in part, surprise we become addicted how they can engage in escort to things.” work – as the object of muscle The bodybuilding world, worshippers – regardless of Denizet-Lewis discovered, how they identify sexually. is “very interesting. Most Matyi bristles at the bodybuilders identify as Benoit Denizet-Lewis implication that bodybuilding heterosexual, but many of is an athletic manifestation of them do escort work on the side.” Some have a sexual fetish. But he knows it’s there – and only one or two clients to supplement their that it contributes to the sport’s somewhat income; some only pose nude for men with sketchy image. “Some people have helped muscle fetishes, or allow themselves to be give bodybuilding a bad rap,” he says. “Of touched but do not reciprocate. Todd escorts course lots of young guys are attracted to full time, and is an active partner. the idea of bodybuilding; it’s a chance to Christian Matyi, who is both a body- be strong, heroic, and express your sense building coach and competitor, describes his of masculinity. sport as an outgrowth of American society. “But when they get involved without “Every little boy grows up with an imprint someone to help them navigate the sport, it’s of being a bodybuilder,” he notes. “Whether not long before they stumble on all sorts of it’s catalogues like Abercrombie & Fitch or criminal and tawdry sexual elements. With pro wrestlers rolling around, boys see an that kind of association, of course they’re image of maleness that makes them want apprehensive.” to look like bodybuilders.” The Internet, Matyi says, has “helped In his book Denizet-Lewis says that fuel the myth that bodybuilding is gay. If you Matyi never used steroids, but was drawn type ‘bodybuilder’ in Google, many of the to bodybuilding while recovering from an sites that pop up are sexual fetish sites. And in addiction more than a decade ago. Thus, our culture, if anything seems even the slight-

est bit gay, then it’s automatically deemed contrary to being a man, and that freaks out a lot of young kids. Kids are trained to say, ‘Keep me far away from gay stuff, it will feminize me.’ God forbid, right?” The gay media shares part of the blame, Matyi notes. “Bodybuilding is no gayer than football or tennis. Sports are sports. But the gay media has helped sexualize it. Bodybuilding is gay in mythology, but not in reality.” Yet Denizet-Lewis sees an upside to bodybuilding’s emphasis on looking good – and to the addictive personalities it seems to attract. In his research on addiction he has met a number of people – gay and straight – who used drugs and alcohol in their teens and 20s. As part of their recovery process, they began taking care of their body. The endorphins released by exercise – and the positive reactions these people received as their bodies grew leaner, tighter and hotter – fueled a cycle of even more exercise and working out. “In sobriety, that becomes an addiction in itself,” Denizet-Lewis says. “A healthier one, but an addiction nonetheless.” Dan Woog is a journalist, educator, soccer coach, gay activist, and author of the “Jocks” series of books on gay male athletes. Visit his Web site at He can be reached care of this publication or at

“I felt very violated (when I was outed in a 1981 palimony suit). I felt blackmailed. And yet I want to tell the truth. I argued with my publicist and my lawyer for two days so I could do that press conference. They didn’t want me to do it, but I was insistent. I did the right thing. It’s better to tell the truth. Within 24 hours I lost all my future income. I was just getting ready to leave the game. And I had all these wonderful contracts happening.” — Tennis legend Billie Jean King to, Feb. 16.

“Oh, no (I don’t think homosexuality is a choice). I don’t think I’ve ever really subscribed to that view, that you can turn it on and off like a water tap. Um, you know, I think that there’s a whole lot that goes into the makeup of an individual that, uh, you just can’t simply say, oh, like, ‘Tomorrow morning I’m gonna stop being gay.’ It’s like saying, ‘Tomorrow morning I’m gonna stop being black.’ ... “I mean, I think that’s the prevailing view at this point, and I know that there’s some out there who think that you can absolutely make that choice. And maybe some people have. I don’t know, I can’t say. Until we can give a definitive answer one way or the other, I think we should respect that.” —Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele to GQ, March 12.

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Sex Talk: Cruising Online by Simon Sheppard Sure, where hard penises are concerned, many men are more-or-less unrepentant pigs. There have always been queer guys who’ve had recreational sex - sometimes lots of it. But the advent of the Internet has transformed the way many of us get laid…or at least increased the frequency thereof. Boys in the boondocks can more efficiently find buddies, and urban queers can get laid damn near as easily as they’d order a pizza. Paradoxically, that can make promiscuity even more problematic. “There are still plenty of gay bars, including backroom bars where guys get it on,” says one queer observer of the sexual scene. “And in many cities, there are sex clubs and baths. But nothing has made it easier to have casual sex than the Net. That can be a good thing, but there are snakes in Paradise. A guy may feel like he’s more wrapped up in cruising than he really wants to be. He might think that if he’s not tricking at least a few times a week, there’s something wrong with him. It can get obsessive.” “I recently got out of a long-term relationship,” says a nice-looking guy in his 30s, “and the ritualized dating thing isn’t working out too well. So I’m always horny, and wondering about the whole online hook-up scene. How do I get over what I, maybe unreasonably, feel is the shame over cruising for casual sex? Sounds like everyone does it, right?” When it comes to sex, shame is a generally useless emotion, one oft entwined with homophobia. There’s nothing at all wrong with wanting to hump butt…no matter what the antigay might say. Often, shame-related shyness is just a matter of initial reluctance. Jump into the penis pool just once, and the next sexual swim becomes easier. But there _are_ things to be

not very proud of. Lying, being rude, and using people are all behaviors best avoided - but the Internet has made them easier to indulge in. Having an open relationship is swell, but not cheating. And lying about your health status is just plain wrong. Jerking someone off is fine; being a jerk isn’t. Our observer says, “If you abruptly walk away from somebody in a bar, you risk being viewed as rude. Guys in bathhouses relate face-to-face. But when you’re hiding behind an anonymous e-mail address, it’s easy to stand someone up, insult him, or simply disappear.” On the other hand, if you’re the one doing the pursuing, accept an e-mailed “no, thanks” with grace. Not everybody wants to suck your cock, and wheedling, or worse, online stalking, won’t change that. There’s nothing wrong with persistence, but don’t be a spam-sending pest. Says someone who’s been around the booty block more than a few times, “I love it when somebody acts like a slut, just as long as he’s not an not an inconsiderate slut. There’s really no excuse for treating someone who’s interested in you like he’s crap. Maybe I’m being sentimental, but when you trick with someone and he’s the one suggesting you get together again, I’d rather that he actually answer my e-mails, even if just to say ‘Never again.’ Sure, having casual sex is a no-strings-attached affair, and some guys get embarrassed or regretful afterwards. But being turned down, even brutally, is a lot less insulting than being totally ignored.” The same goes for if you run into someone you’veed. If you’ve previously agreed you’d keep things discreet, then that’s the better part of valor. Many people use the Web to get laid because it confers a degree of anonymity, a separation from real life. But if Mr. Last Week says “hi” when you see

"It's such a personal thing, and I don't think it does anybody any good to out people or force them out of the closet. I don't see the point. It can still be very difficult in this business, so I'm sympathetic to that. You hear rumors and gossip, but nobody really knows except that person, and it's ultimately up to them. Now, there are times when the press goes easier on or is more forgiving of someone, and I say, 'How come he got a free pass?'" — Actor Nathan Lane to The Advocate, April issue. “Believe me, I think motherhood would be amazing and exciting and wonderful, but it isn’t really something that’s on the immediate horizon for us. How this IVF rumor started, I really, really have no idea. But I can tell you that it is definitely not happening in the near future. ... It’s great that Ellen (DeGeneres) and I are a gay couple and people are open-minded enough to talk about us having a family. The only thing I’m trying to avoid by denying it is, I just don’t want those horrible pictures in magazines where they circle your stomach and point and go ‘baby bump!’” — Actress Portia de Rossi to the Los Angeles Times, March 15.

"Frankly, I don't think Ann (Coulter) believes a single word she says. She just loves the press. I used to do a really scary joke in my routine that I was having a bad day because I woke up from a dream where I was going down on Ann Coulter." — Veteran lesbian comedian Kate Clinton to the gay newspaper Dallas Voice, Feb. 13.

him at the mall, it’s only mannerly to return the greeting. Just because someone had sex with you, that doesn’t mean he’s beneath contempt. (If he’s with his friends though, it might be unwise to say, “I really loved peeing on you.”) So be nice, even when you’re looking to get blown. Online game players are rife. Don’t be one of them. If you post an ad, don’t be racist, ageist, or otherwise demeaning. And if someone who responds is too old, too young, too big, too skinny for you? “No thank you” is nicer than “Eff off.” The Golden Rule applies when you have an erection, too: Even penis-mad perverts can have principles. Be it at a sex club or a keyboard, if you are going to be a slut, be an ethical one, and you won’t have to be ashamed. Simon Sheppard is the editor of Leathermen and Homosex: Sixty Years of Gay Erotica, and the author of Sex Parties 101, Kinkorama, and In Deep: Erotic Stories, and can be reached at Visit Simon at

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CAAP BOARD NEWS by Rick J. Smith Waterloo--The Community AIDS Assistance Project Board of Directors met in March to elect new board members and make plans for the upcoming years activities. Unfortunately this year we have had two long time members step down from the Board of Directors. DeLon R. Gobeli and Larry Phillips. They have served our Community and the Board over the years in many capacities and we wish them well. They have offered to still be of assistance to the Board so we will still see their faces around at our functions. We had seven applicants for open Board positions and after much discussion we elected two of those applicants to fill the open Board positions. We welcome to the CAAP Board Nicholas Hedrick & Brian Wedemeier. Officers for the 20092010 CAAP Board will be Chairperson: Curt Dietz, Vice Chairperson: Renee Evans, Secretary: Nicholas Hedrick, Treasurer: Jona Van Blaricom, Community Services Director: Chuck Ohl, Functions Director: Rick J. Smith, Public Relations Director: Brian Wedemeier. The Board also decided to upcoming events for the year: • Once again this year we are going to sponsor the Pride Prom on May 16th at Kings & Queens (flyer elsewhere in this issue). Bring that

• •

special someone out for a night of fun and see who gets to be King & Queen of the Prom this year. I am sure we will see last years King Sean & Queen Renee there. The annual CAAP picnic date tentatively has been set for July 26th at Waterloo’s Exchange Park. And we decided as a Board to change the venue for the Annual CAAP fundraiser. On Friday November 6th we will have the annual DeLon’s cake walk at Kings & Queens with entertainment that night. Then on Saturday November 7th you can come back to the same area as we have moved the Annual CAAP event to the Sullivan Brothers Convention Center. We were there many years ago and have decided to return there. The Ramada has blocked aside some rooms for us also for those that want to get a room and enjoy the weekend full of fun and activities. Room rates will be $79.95.

And as always if you have any other ideas, thoughts, comments or suggestions to you can send mail to CAAP P.O. Box 36 Waterloo, IA 50704-0036 or E-Mail us at Watch for other information on the Cedar Valley Pride myspace page.

Waterloo’s Alternative Night Club

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Crescent Turkey Casserole Pie • ½ C Mayonnaise • 2 Tbl all-purpose flour • 1 tsp chicken bouillon granules • 1/8 tsp pepper • 3/4 C milk • 1 ½ C cubed cooked turkey breast • 1 Pkg (10 oz) frozen mixed vegetables, thawed • 1 tube (4 oz) refrigerated crescent rolls In a large saucepan, combine mayo, flour, bouillon and pepper. Gradually add milk; stir until smooth. Bring to a boil over medium heat; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened. Add turkey and vegetables; cook 3-4 minutes longer, stirring occasionally. Spoon into a greased 8-in square baking dish. Unroll crescent dough and separate into two rectangles. Seal seams and perforations. Place over turkey mixture. Bake at 375 degrees for 15-20 minutes or until golden brown. Yield: 4 servings. Brian’s Macaroni and Cheese • • • • • • • • • •

7 tbsp unsalted butter 1/4 C plus 2 tbsp all-purpose flour 4 C whole milk 1 ½ tsp dry mustard 1/8 tsp cayenne pepper, or to taste 1 lb mezzi tubetti macaroni (or substitute elbow macaroni) 4 C of your favorite cheeses, such as grated mixture of Gruyere, Asiago, and Parmesan Topping: 1/3 C freshly grated Parmesan cheese 1 C Panko or bread crumbs

Optional: • 8 oz of chopped ham, bacon, or Canadian bacon. Preheat over to 350 degrees and butter a 3 to 4 quart gratin dish or other shallow baking dish. In a heavy saucepan, melt 6 tablespoons butter over moderately low heat. Add flour and cook roux, whisking, 3 minutes. Add milk in a stream, whisking, and bring to a boil, whisking. Add mustard, cayenne, and salt and pepper to taste and simmer sauce, whisking occasionally, until thickened, about 2 minutes.

Section 3: Community

In a kettle of salted boiling water, cook pasta until just al dente, about 7 minutes, and drain well. In a large boil stir together cooked pasta, sauce, 4 cups cheese, and any optional extras, then transfer to the prepared dish. In a small bowl, stir together panko, 1/3 Parmesan, and optional crumbled bacon, then sprinkle evenly over macaroni. Cut remaining 1 Tbsp butter into bits and scatter over topping. Bake macaroni in middle of oven 25 to 30 minutes, or until golden and bubbling.

Mandarin Romaine Salad • 9 C torn romaine lettuce • 1 cam (11 oz) mandarin oranges, drained • 1 can (8 oz) sliced water chestnuts, drained • 1 C finely chopped celery • 2 green onions, thinly sliced • 6 Tbs vegetable oil • 3 Tbs sugar • 3 Tbs raspberry vinegar • 1 ½ tsp dried parsley flakes • 3/4 tsp salt • 3/4 tsp pepper • 1/4 to ½ tsp hot pepper sauce • ½ C chopped pecans In a large bowl, combine the first five ingredients. In a jar with a tight-fitting lid, combine the oil, sugar, vinegar, parsley, salt, pepper and pepper sauce; shake well. Just before serving, sprinkle salad with pecans. Shake dressing again and pour over salad; toss to coat. Yield: 12 servings.

Easy Fruit Strudels Good for Breakfast, too! • 1 can, 14 ½ oz, fruit, such as pitted tart cherries or sliced apples • 1 C sugar (or equivalent Splenda) • ½ C dried cranberries or raisins • 1 Tbs butter • 3 Tbs cornstarch • 1 ½ C chopped walnuts • 1 package (17.3oz) frozen puff pastry, thawed • 1 egg, beaten Drain fruit, reserving 1/3 C juice. In a large saucepan, combine the fruit, sugar, cranberries, and butter. Cook and stir over

medium heat until heated through. Combine cornstarch and reserved juice and add to the pan. Bring to a boil. Cook and stir 2 minutes longer or until thickened. Removed from the heat; stir in walnuts. Unfold one pastry sheet and cut in half. Mound half of the fruit mixture on one pastry half to within ½ in of edges. Top with remaining half pastry; pinch edges to seal. Repeat with remaining pastry and filling. Place on a greased foil-lined baking sheet. With a sharp knife, cut diagonal slits into tops of strudels; brush with egg. Bake at 400 degrees for 20-25 minutes or until golden brown. Yield: 2 strudels, 5 slices each.

Teriyaki Beef Tenderloin • 1 C sherry or beef froth • ½ C low-salt soy sauce • 1 envelope onion soup mix • 1/4 C packed brown sugar (or Splenda brown sugar) • 1 beef tenderloin (2 pounds), trimmed (May also substitute a pork tenderloin!) • 2 Tbs water In a large bowl, combine the sherry or wroth, soy sauce, soup mix and brown sugar. Pour 1 cup into a large resealable plastic bag; add tenderloin. Seal bag and turn to coat; refrigerate for 5 hours or overnight. Cover and refrigerate remaining marinade. Drain and discard marinade. Place tenderloin on a rack in a shallow roasting pan. Bake, uncovered, at 425 degrees for 45-50 minutes or until meat reaches desired doneness (for medium-rare, a meat thermometer should read 145 degrees; medium, 160 degrees.), basting often with 1/3 cup of reserved marinade. Let stand for 10-15 minutes. Meanwhile, in a small saucepan, bring water and remaining marinade to a rolling boil for 1 minute or until sauce is slightly reduced. Slice meat; serve with sauce. Yield: 8 servings.

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Italian Patty Melts 1 egg ½ C spaghetti sauce, divided 3 Tbsp seasoned bread crumbs 1/4 tsp pepper 1 lb ground beef 2 tsp dried basil 1/4 tsp dried parsley flakes 1/8 tsp garlic powder 8 slices Italian bread ½ C shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese In a large bowl, combine the egg, 1/4 C spaghetti sauce, bread crumbs, and pepper. Crumble beef over mixture and mix well. Shape into four oval patties; set aside. Combine butter and seasonings; brush over both sides of bread. In a large skillet, toast bread until lightly browned; set aside. In the same skillet, cook patties over medium heat for 4-6 minutes on each side or until no longer pink. Spoon remaining sauce over patties; sprinkle with cheese. Cover and cook for 1-2 minutes or until cheese is melted. Place burgers on four slices of toast; top wit remaining cheese and toast. Yield: 4 servings. • • • • • • • • • •

Easy Peppermint Stick Sauce • 1 ½ cups crushed peppermint candies • 1 C heavy whipping cream • 1 jar (7 oz) marshmallow cream In a heavy saucepan combined the crushed candies, whipping cream and marshmallow cream. Cook and stir over low heat until candy is completely melted and mixture is smooth. Remove from the heat. Store in the refrigerator. Yield: 2 1/4 cups.

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I don’t believe it. WE like who we are. How can we pull the plug on this endless media hype? Fed Up

Dear Auntie Emm, One evening I wanted to meet someone for a serious date. So, I went to the local gay bar. I’m a good looking 40-year-old gay man, but no one at the bar even said hello! When I’d try to start a conversation, I got that “polite smile” and that was all! How can I break the ice to make friends, and meet someone, without sounding desperate? Alone in Altoona Dear Alone, Auntie Emm says, “find another bar!” Finding good places to find good people can sometimes be a challenge. Auntie Emm can’t really speculate about why everyone at the bar just gave you polite smiles. But she also wonders why you think that one trip to the bar will get you a “serious date”! Bars are communities. They have regulars and semi-regular customers that know one another and understand what the scene at that bar is. They know when someone is new, and they may be able to sense if someone is just out to find a date. They might be suspicious of such folks. So, the next time you go to the bar, go without thinking that your primary goal is to find a date. Go thinking that you want to find a fun group of people to hang out with. It might take a few visits for you to break the ice, and that might be uncomfortable until you do, but eventually, you might actually find that they are a good group of guys. And, when you’re one of the regulars, you can remember what it was like to be a newcomer, and you can strike up a conversation with the first-time visitor.

Auntie Emm Dear Auntie Emm, My boyfriend and I have been a gay couple for several years. But, last night he again went out with some of the “guys”. We even sent text messages until about 1 a.m.... actually, I was texting him. But, when I tried to call him for more than an hour, he never answered his phone. It would ring, then go to voice mail. I know that he is a going to tell me that his phone battery died and that he had no way of contacting me . He does have a history of cheating on his boy friends. His “behavior” is often the talk of the group at the local gay bar. I understand he wants time to be with his friends, but I don’t understand why he can’t include me sometimes. I am worried that he is cheating and I don’t know what to do. Am I being paranoid? I love him very much. Hurt in Hudson Dear Hurt, Auntie Emm thinks sometimes that the cell phone is the worst invention ever! What are you doing texting your boyfriend while

he’s out? Can’t he have a night out with his friends without you? Do you really think that being clingy is going to get you what you want? And, are you saying that you never go out with your boyfriend? If you don’t, there’s one thing to change right now! But more to the point: have you never had the, “when we’re a couple we’re going to be completely monogamous talk”? If monogamy is what you want and monogamy is what he wants, then Auntie Emm thinks you’re just going to have to trust each other, and when either one of you goes out, there won’t be a question of infidelity. If monogamy is what you want and it’s not what he wants, then maybe this isn’t the right relationship for you, no matter how much you love him. What Auntie Emm really thinks is that you need to start trusting him—if he’s trustworthy—or you need to say bye-bye to this relationship.

Auntie Emm Dear Auntie Emm, I’ve got a problem. I can’t be out at work without losing my job, but some guy with “gay-dar” comes into work and thinks he has figured me out. I do my best to ignore him even though I find him attractive. I’d like to get to know him but worry he may not feel the same toward me or even respect my situation. Gay in Grundy Dear Gay, Auntie Emm is going to get up on her soapbox for a moment here and pray that someday, NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO LOSE A JOB BECAUSE OF HIS OR HER SEXUAL ORIENTATION! Auntie Emm is so over the closet. Your problem wouldn’t even be able to be a problem if we’d just get with it and figure out that sexual orientation has NOTHING to do with whether or not one will do a job well or poorly. Whew! Ok, ok, Auntie Emm is coming down off the soapbox. My, my, aren’t you in a pickle. But, really, what kind of advice can Auntie Emm give here? If you make contact with this man you find attractive, then you might lose your job if anyone figures out you’re gay. If you let it be, then all he has are his suspicions, and you can keep your job, not worry about him and forego a potential friendship or relationship. It seems to Auntie Emm that you’re stuck with two crappy choices: either you keep your mouth shut and ignore his attention, or you respond and risk your job. Auntie Emm guesses that you’ll have to figure out what’s more important to you, a potentially hot guy or a regular income.

Auntie Emm Dear Auntie Emm, I’m tired of those letters and articles in the paper that tell how gays can be converted to straights. My partner and

Dear Fed Up, Like you, Auntie Emm is tired of all this media hype that makes gays look horrible. And, like you, I don’t believe that it’s possible to “straighten” gays out. Heavens, Auntie Emm certainly doesn’t want to be straightened out! Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s possible to pull the plug on the media. We can write our own letters to the editor, which I encourage everyone to do -- a little activism is good for the soul! Since Auntie Emm has been around for a long time, she remembers when there wasn’t any conversation about these matters in the public arena. But, you can ask them, “What do you think caused your heterosexuality?” or “Is your heterosexuality just a phase you’ll grow out of?” Enjoy their answers!

Auntie Emm Dear Auntie Emm, I’ve seen on TV and in the newspaper all those gay and lesbian couples are getting “married” in Canada, San Francisco, and Vermont. Why bother when it isn’t blessed by most churches or legal in Iowa anyway? My partner and I have been together for over 12 years and don’t see any reason to “tie the knot” that way. Still in Love in Indianola Dear Still in Love, First, congratulations on your twelve year relationship! It just warms the cockles of Auntie Emm’s little heart to know that there are happy long-term couples out there. Governmental and church-sanctioned gay marriages seem to be a long way off, especially with the recent upholding of the DORMA legislation. So, getting married might seem a little ridiculous, given that the newlyweds aren’t going to gain any monetary of societal benefits from it. But perhaps the people who have ceremonies to celebrate their union aren’t looking for these kinds of benefits. Maybe they want an opportunity publicly to acknowledge their relationship with their friends and family. Maybe having a ritual is meaningful to them. Participating in rituals

ACCESSline Page 27 isn’t important to some people, and that’s just peachy. However, with that said, Auntie Emm also has learned that a couple needs to take care of certain legal matters since “legal marriage” is denied them. Both partners need to have a clearly written will, signed and witnessed at the time of the signing. They also need to specify who is to make decisions should one of the partners becomes unconscious and unable to speak for himself. If property is jointly owned, then the title needs to be properly stated on the deed. If not, the surviving partner could find himself out on the street in the event of the partner’s death. “First of kin” can be very cruel to the survivor! Whatever the case, people are going to continue to celebrate their unions in whatever way they see fit; Auntie Emm says, let ‘em do it. And, perhaps some day it will be legal, too!

Auntie Emm “I have been, um, supportive of a lot of my friends who are gay in some of the core things that they believe are important to them. “You know, the ability to be able to share in the information of your partner, to have the ability to — particularly in times of crisis — to manage their affairs and to help them through that as others — you know, as family members or others — would be able to do. I just draw the line at the gay marriage. “And that’s not antigay, no. Heck no! It’s just that, you know, from my faith tradition and upbringing, I believe that marriage — that institution, the sanctity of it — is reserved for a man and a woman. That’s just my view. And I’m not gonna jump up and down and beat people upside the head about it, and tell gays that they’re wrong for wanting to aspire to that, and all of that craziness. “That’s why I believe that the states should have an opportunity to address that issue.” — Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele to GQ, March 12.

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Section 3: Community

April 2009

Hemming and Hawing by Aaron Stroschein

Column #1: The Art of Writing Niche Literature Sometimes people feel they need to have their book printed by major-name publisher to feel like they have succeeded. Yet it seems impossible because their book may deal with something such as a gay protagonist or a main character that is HIV positive. This is not always true. Well-written books can come from self-publishers or publishers who are off the beaten path. Brett Stout, a friend of mine in Coralville, Iowa, (and a contributor to ACCESSline) had his book “Sugar-Baby Bridge” self-published in October of 2008. Since then the book has garnered critical acclaim and sold many copies. Many different literary agents at first rejected the manuscript Brett wrote. Finally. Brett found, a self-publishing web site, to publish his work. I have also been reading on books by Joshua Dagon, a gay author in Las Vegas. His newest book “Into the Mouth of the Wolf” contains the theme of werewolves as allegory for the subject of HIV. The book was published through Breur Media Corporation, and while Breur Media is not strictly a publishing business, Dagon’s books have been receiving growing praise. One reason it is so hard to find someone to represent a manuscript is because there is no simple black and white formula to follow. One does not go straight to a publisher


1 Italian wine region 5 Photographer Ritts 9 Kahlo in drag? 14 Penn of Milk 15 Protected, to seamen 16 “Thereby hangs ___” 17 Matthew Shepherd, e.g. 20 Drag queen’s shoe feature 21 Night spot? 22 Gardner of Show Boat 23 Historic Stonewall disturbances 24 Like church mice 26 Brothers & Sisters producer Ken 27 Much ___ About Nothing 28 Kind of traffic 30 Pampered 32 Melissa Etheridge’s “___ Am” 34 Scout’s promise to be “morally straight” 36 Jury members 37 Shepherd of the Metropolitan flock 40 Stephen King’s ___ Macabre 43 “Gone,” at an auction 44 Parts of a min. 48 Audre Lorde, to Hunter College 50 Navratilova, for one 52 Breakfast on Pluto actor Stephen 53 Stable female 54 Capable of performing 56 The Seven-Year Itch costar with Monroe 58 Guys and Dolls co-creator Burrows 59 JFK’s predecessor 60 Ancient Greek seer 61 Cybill Shepherd, e.g. 65 Manicurist’s file 66 What either bride may wear 67 Alternative to “Go straight” 68 Sarandon’s partner in Thelma & Louise

Q-PUZZLE: “The Good Shepherds”

69 Drag role for John Travolta 70 Canadian gas brand 70 Cock ending 71 Restaurant chain owner Gary 72 Where a co. can bet its bottom dollar 73 Ps on the Parthenon


1 Place to park your butt 2 Coastal region 3 Skin decorations 4 Not potent

with a manuscript and expect them to take a look. They must navigate through the proper channels. To do traditional publishing, a person must find a literary agent who will represent them. The agent in turn will try to find a publisher for the work. There are some hurdles here, too. The first hurdle to finding a literary agent is making sure your book and related writings are error-free. The letter of introduction/query, the manuscript, and whatever other information a literary agent asks for must be concise and proofread. Some mistakes are more obvious than others, as noted by an event that took place on The event was posted on a Twitter feed called #queryfail. Literary agents from different agencies collected many different queries and then tweeted comments about them on the feed. The purpose of the event was to show what common mistakes people made when sent in queries to literary agents. The results boiled down to a few key points: many people did not bother to check what types of writing genres certain agents were looking for and most queries to agents were not proofed correctly. People also did not follow directions some of the time when submitting queries. The lesson to be learned here: pay attention to details. The second hurdle involves under5 Plucked instrument 6 Cotton gin inventor Whitney 7 Band fronted by Michael Stipe 8 Bannon’s Brinker 9 Mentioned before 10 “Yadda, yadda, yadda,” briefly 11 Barney who romanced Romaine 12 Lover of Kaye, some say 13 Sends back 18 Playbill list 19 “Make” or “break” 24 Says a “Hail Mary,” e.g. 25 Message to an openly gay newsgroup? 26 Heeds a master 29 “Yoo-__!” 31 Lending letters 33 “C’est Moi,” to Lancelot 35 Nametag word 38 Kevin Bacon in Footloose 39 Dietary abbr. 40 Like some returned goods 41 Jim Nabors home state 42 Rudolf of ballet 45 Homo chaser? 46 Places for fruity drinks 47 Port of southern Italy 49 Autobahn car 51 “___ interesting!” 55 Bone to pick 57 Fritter away 59 They don’t hang out in gay bars 60 Earthen pot 62 Wk. ender, for most 63 Composer Rorem 64 Noisy clamor • SOLUTION ON PAGE 38

April 2009 SSHemming and Hawing, continued standing a truth about the publishing world. Publishing companies will only want books that will earn more money than they cost to produce. While there are online sources for books nowadays such as, Kindle (Amazon), and, the traditional paperback/hardcover book is still en vogue. But printing hundreds of thousands or millions of books is expensive — and therefore risky, especially if the author is unknown. Frustration does play a huge part, too, in the process of writing. Some authors would like to see their books simply published for the sake of the fact they have great ideas. The important thing in this venture is not to give up. Sometimes opportunities can come along and one need only be in the right place and the right time. Sometimes success is not just a matter of perseverance, but also of luck.

“Are you sick of hearing about the ‘social networking’ phenomenon, all those Web 2.0 companies with geekysounding names like Facebook and MySpace and Twitter and Tumblr and LookSpaceBookFeedPlaceWad, sites where ‘friends’ flock together like flies to cow eyelids and everyone’s young and cute and funny and jacked-in to the cultural zeitgeist, but you have no idea what it all means or why you’re supposed to care because you have, you know, a real life, yet you still have this nagging feeling that a potentially rich, exciting aspect of the culture is passing you by like an ice cream truck in summer?” — San Francisco Chronicle columnist Mark Morford, Feb. 18.

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April 2009

Book Reviews from

Bringing Perfect Back by Patrick H. Perrine

ISBN: 978-1439214237 PUBLISHER: BookSurge Publishing Review by Arthur Breur RATING: 3.5 Stars “At a time when what a gay male relationship is and can be is radically changing, Bringing Perfect Back offers a refreshing and personable look at everything facing the modern gay man, whether he’s searching for a partner or committed to one. From the early stages of how to present himself and how to know what will work for him, to taking sensible advantage of the Internet as well as the world at large as he ventures out into the serious romance market, Bringing Perfect Back walk him through the beginnings with solid counsel and down-to-earth humor. Then, all the major and minor snags of the gay relationship in action get a thorough going-over. From wrangling over bills, old boyfriends, sexual passions lessening, down to the bare bones of surviving infidelity and opting for marriage. Bringing Perfect Back looks hard at each hurdle the gay man is sure to face with understanding, with candor, and always with an eye out for the real success of his relationships.” BOOK REVIEW: “Bringing Perfect Back” seems a less than ideal title for Patrick Perrine’s very well written gay man’s dating self-help book. Clearly the book is more dedicated to “Finding Perfect In The First Place” or “Learning From Your Past Relationships How To Do Better In Your Next Relationships.” This focus is indicated well by the subtitle, “The Gay Man’s Relationship Guide to Finding His Perfect Partner.” The book is really a dating guide and in many unfortunate cases a lightly disguised promotional for one particular gay dating web site, which is mentioned numerous times in

the text. The author would seem much more authoritative if all the references to specific web sites and services had been left for an appendix or a resources guide. True, the author does encourage readers to shop around for the best fit in an online dating service, but then provides strong praise (and a URL) for, really, just the one. That aside, the advice in the book seems to be genuinely good, and addresses how male/male relationships develop and how they are changing due to the very current, and very new, public awareness of long-term gay coupling. The writing is very enjoyable, with a strong sense of grammar and simultaneously a very relaxed and “conversational” feel. Delving into both online and real world dating, “Bringing Perfect Back” explains the joys and pitfalls of male/male dating, focusing specifically on men who are genuinely interested in finding the “perfect” long-term partner. It provides a good set of instructions for navigating the experience of meeting and getting to know other men with the intention of finding the most perfect one possible. After the discussion of meeting and gradually building a solid relationship, however, the book seems to wander into less solidly explored territory. What seems to be lacking in later chapters, more than anything else, is any reference to real, studied examples of how successful long-term male relationships actually work. The best example on this topic would be the sadly outdated 1985 book “The Male Couple: How Relationships Develop,” which has a much more grounded set of case study examples of long-term male relationships, and would seem to be a better source of advice for existing relationships than “Bringing Perfect Back.” “The Male Couple” provides real case studies of numerous male/male relationships and how they all seem(ed) fit into different “stages” at different times in their development. Still, as “Bringing Perfect Back” states, things have changed in very recent past, and how our relationships

operate may also be due for reconsideration. So for men who are honestly seeking to find the love of their life, or for men who want to move on from their past relationships, this book comes recommended. For men in existing long-term relationships, I would suggest pairing and comparing “Bringing Perfect Back” with “The Male Couple.”

Into the Mouth of the Wolf by Joshua Dagon ISBN: 978-0978995546 PUBLISHER: Breur Media Corporation Review by “Jim” RATING: 4 Stars “Werewolves are real and the world has mobilized, brutally, to crush both the contagion that creates them and the individuals who have become infected. After Russell Shepard narrowly survives a werewolf attack, he is haunted by dreams of a place and time he has never been, and hunted by those who would end his life immediately, without remorse. He is propelled along a path that

will bring him face to face with the forces determined to contain and destroy the threat he himself now represents.” BOOK REVIEW: This is an intriguing story of a young man caught in a conflict of emotions and loyalties over which he has little control. Russell Shepard’s life is never the same after he witnesses a young dinner companion being attacked and carried off by a werewolf. Russell manages to shoot the werewolf that attacks him, but does not report to the investigative team sent to his home that he was in fact bitten by the werewolf. One of the team members, a Detective Curtis Woods, with a secret of his own, takes Russell to a facility where lycanthropy is being studied with the aim of managing to control and cure those infected by the werewolf bite. But sinister and corrupt forces are at work to take control of the facility’s findings and bend them to their own needs, and Russell finds himself a fugitive on the run from those who consider him a threat. As the ‘were’ infection spreads through his body Russell has dreams and visions of another time and place, and of people who seem to have some relevance in his present life and condition. The first time he ‘shifts’, taking on the persona and physical appearance of a wolf is narrated in a vividly descriptive and engrossing style. Mr. Dagon’s writing style is representative of this kind of story ~ fast paced, colorful, slightly profane, but always with a sense that he knows what he’s talking about. There’s a lot going on in this story, and although I found it a bit over-long and wordy at times, it never lost my interest. It might have benefited from some romantic overtones ~ the close relationship that Russell and Curtis enjoy is purely platonic, as Curtis is straight ~ and the other man in Russell’s life is one you hope he doesn’t end up with. Recommended.

Hear Me Out Music Reviews by Chris Azzopardi Bob Mould, Life and Times Standing in Bob Mould’s light is probably not the best idea. The 48-year-old’s a punk legend (Hüsker Dü in the ’70s and Sugar in the ’90s) – and in the queer community, a pretty damn cool gay rocker – but the first lengthy-titled single from his ninth solo disc isn’t, for all its alt-rock radio appeal, a strong representation of this breezy, 10-song set. Not that (deep breath!) “I’m Sorry, Baby, You Can’t Stand in My Light Anymore” is trash-bin bad – it’s actually a decently catchy, unassuming weepie – but it’s when “Life and Times” rocks that it, well, rocks. Establishing that best is the disc’s middle, spry with “MM 17” and “Argos” – two rad rockers that bleed Mould’s sig-guitar blazes. Vocoders only spoil a couple tracks (phew!) – like the closer “Lifetime” – and, just like on his last disc, District Line, he’s as self-assured as ever. And dirty. He tastes last night’s sex on gravely-voiced “Bad Blood Better” and uses cuss words like an R-rated Judd Apatow comedy. Except the R in this case means “Rockin’”. Grade: B

Martina McBride, Shine No one does cute – or sad kid parables – quite like country queen Martina McBride. Known for child abuse tearjerker “Concrete Angel” and queer-loved “This One’s for the Girls” – and gaining recognition in the LGBT community for recently tackling gay issues on – the big-voiced Southern songbird shares the producing title with Nashville hit-maker Dann Huff. The Chicken Soup for the Soul sentiments are maintained with building ballads (the lovelorn “Lies”), ’80s soft-rock (“I Just Call You Mine”), break-up blues (“Wrong Baby Wrong Baby Wrong,” the album’s finest moment) and enough feel-good songs (bubbly summer-song “Sunnyside Up”) to make us forget about the recession. “Don’t Cost a Dime,” another one of them, reminds us that love don’t cost a thing (somewhere J. Lo is smiling), and the perky lead single, “Ride,” analogizes life to a rollercoaster over a barely-country beat. The short-on-twang disc, a tad too slick at times, is guitar-galvanized – even her signature troubled-kid song, “Wild Rebel Rose,” strays from the pretty piano-led style – and is often better for it. Grade: B+

MYNX, Out of Sight, Out of Mind Silly and sexy meets the Scissor Sisters’ flamboyant bounce on this five-song EP brimming with an ’80s-dance flair and fuzzy synths. With cheeky lyrics – “My sunglasses match the cocaine tray, I’m so L.A.!” – the duo, Holly and Ara (who’s openly gay), mock the So Cal life, get campy sexual on “Kissie Show” and score with the infectiously dizzying “Wolfgang Bang.” It’s quite the ear orgasm – and if getting off in five songs is that easy, the full LP better come with Viagra. Gabriella Cilmi, Lessons to be Learned Using the Amy Winehouse recipe (minus coke, let’s hope) for neo-soul, this 17-year-old newcomer’s disc ages her by years. It’s probably the sultry kick in her voice, or maybe the fact that her debut’s production team borrows from her elders’ work – Winehouse, Duffy, Anastasia, and for yesteryear pop fans, Taylor Dayne. Which makes the album easy to say “yeah, yeah, yeah” to, especially with her divine voice, but by the end we’re left wondering: Gabriella Cilmi, who?

Vienna Teng, Inland Territory She won our hearts with “City Hall,” a same-sex marriage ode. And on the soft-sung pianist’s fourth album, which features chickloving guitarist Kaki King, she wins our ears, creating her most ambitious – and peerless – piece yet. “Antebellum” and “Augustine” sound like Teng-catalog cousins, but there are also traces of electronic (“White Light”), clap-happy blues (“Grandmother Song”) and vaudeville-style (“In Another Life”). Chris Cornell, Scream The dude’s got serious balls. Surely ditching the Soundgarden/Audioslave sound for an uber-producer Timbaland make-over is admirable – or maybe it’s career suicide? – but the odd couple’s album only works its hip-hop magic part-time. Cornell’s wailing howl wrestles with Timbaland’s tired signature synthy sound, and yields a few solid tunes – “Part of Me,” “Get Up” and “Long Gone” – that are enjoyable … in a talkingpig kinda way. Chris Azzopardi is an out, proud… country fan. Reach him at

April 2009

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Out of Town by Andrew Collins - Madison, Wisconsin Of mid-sized cities, Madison is one of the gay-friendliest in America. The regional political ethos is tolerance, and the city’s role as state capital and home base of the University of Wisconsin informs both the community’s attitudes and its styles. About 60 miles due west of Milwaukee, Madison occupies an enviable position along a narrow isthmus between two picturesque lakes, Mendota and Monona. Biking and hiking trails crisscross the city’s gently rolling hills. It’s easy to see why Money magazine once named Madison the best place to live in America. Other notable rankings—and there have been many—include being one of Outside magazine’s “Dream Towns,” one of Utne Reader’s “Most Enlightened Towns”and one of Cosmo’s top cities for finding single men—presumably the focus was straight single men, but there are plenty of gay single guys here, too. And here’s yet another fact about Madison—it has among the most unified and visible feminist communities of any U.S. city. Women, including quite a few lesbians, occupy influential positions in all walks of city life. Although regaled mostly for its livability, Madison (population 225,000) makes for a great visit. The museums are excellent, and the University of Wisconsin (UW) lands topname speakers and performers. The dining scene is on par with any city its size, and while queer nightlife options are few, they’re also convivial and friendly. Engaging State Street, a transit-and-pedestrian mall, connects Madison’s two most important institutions: the capitol building and the university. If you have time, take a tour of the particularly regal, granite-domed Wisconsin State Capitol, which dazzles visitors with its ornate murals, glass mosaics and marble detailing. Up near Capitol Square, State Street is largely the domain of suits and politicos, but closer to the campus of UW you’ll encounter a more collegiate scene—cheap ethnic restaurants, bike racks, coffeehouses and scads of funky shops. Don’t miss A Room of One’s Own, a capacious, clean and comfy bookstore with a comprehensive selection of lesbian and feminist titles, local resources, and a considerable gay male section, too. Also within the parameters of State Street are several museums that constitute Madison’s Museum Mile. The best are the Wisconsin Historical Society Museum, which traces the state’s progressive political history, dairy-farming traditions and rich ethnic heritage; the Elvehjem Museum of Art, which contains a tremendous range of works, dating as far back as 2300 B.C.; and the Madison Museum of Contemporary Art, which occupies a striking modern building and adjoins the similarly dazzling Overture Center for the Arts. In fact, Madison is noted for groundbreaking architectural achievements, perhaps the most famous being the Monona Terrace Community and Convention Center, completed in 1997 according to the Frank Lloyd Wright’s ambitious blueprints. Take one of the building’s daily tours or head up to the rooftop garden for a free concert and lake view. Additionally, eight Frank Lloyd Wright buildings within a two-hour drive of

Madison are open to the public. The must- variety of pizzas, pastas and grilled meats. see is Taliesin, Wright’s sprawling home A favorite lunch spot near the Capitol, and studio complex, about 45 minutes away. Marigold Kitchen serves light, healthful Back on State Street, head away from salads, sandwiches and breakfast/brunch The Wisconsin State Capitol rises boldly above Madison’s skyline, its surrounding blocks dotted with hip and trendy restaurants and shops. Photo: Andrew Collins the Capitol to reach the gracious lakefront campus of the University of Wisconsin, the domain of 40,000 students. Start at the Old Red Gym Visitors Center for campus tours and general information. Then drop by the Wisconsin Memorial Union. Out back, overlooking Lake Mendota, is the seductive Memorial Union Terrace, one of the Midwest’s most intellectual pick-up spots, gay or straight. The Lake Monona Bike Trail Loop is one of several well-maintained trails in this incredibly cyclist-friendly city. Another great option, southwest of downtown, is the UW Arboretum Bike Trail. Pick this up at Henry Vilas Zoo and follow it through the esteemed and quite beautiful UW Arboretum, which has 1,260 acres of trails, forest, prairie and wetland. Another spot for taking in the outdoors, the Olbrich Botanical Gardens comprises 16 acres of lush plantings, plus a 50-foot-tall pyramidal conservatory. The presence of a political scene has infused the city with a bounty of excellent restaurants at the high end and what feels like a thousand cheap eats for frugal budgets. Food buffs shouldn’t miss Capitol Square’s delightful Dane County Farmers’ Market (Saturdays and Wednesdays, mid-April through early November), one of the best in the country. Across the street, you can sample many of those fine ingredients, put to highly creative use, at Harvest restaurant—a standout from the ever-changing menu is oven-roasted wild king salmon with fennel, tomatoes and rosemary with an olive vinaigrette. A couple of doors over, L’Etoile has been turning heads with its superb farm-fresh American (with French accents) cuisine since 1976, and it continues to hold its own against Madison’s many hip newcomers. Be sure to order a cheese course—L’Etoile has some of the most unusual artisan selections in the country. One restaurant that’s turned nearby King Street into a dining destination, Cafe Continental charms patrons with an imported zinc bar and burgundy banquettes. The menu leans toward Mediterranean, with a

fare, including a tasty duck-confit hash with two eggs any style. Owned partly by Butch Vig, the musician from the queer-popular alternative band Garbage, Cafe Montmartre is a laid-back, artsy spot to listen to cool live jazz bands, sip wine and munch on quite credible bistro fare. For fresh sushi as well as nicely prepared teriyaki, sukiyaki and tempura dishes, tuck into Wasabi on State Street. Noodle joints are another Madison specialty, a funky favorite being Wah Kee Wonton Noodle. And don’t leave town without stopping by Michael’s Frozen Custard to scarf down a cup of Madison’s favorite dessert—in addition to serving custard so thick you could anchor a flagpole in it, Michael’s serves up fries and juicy burgers. Monty’s Blue Plate Diner is a fabulous homestyle diner serving both tried-and-true and more inventive fare, from roasted-veggie sandwiches to luscious vanilla malts. Near the Capitol, Michelangelo’s Coffee House effectively captures Madison’s boho personality. This elegant, art-filled space has comfy sofas and small tables and draws lots of “family”—you can also get savory veggie wraps bursting with lentils, rice, spinach and hummus. Madison’s biggest and most popular gay night spot, Club 5 is a spacious spread offering a little something for everyone: a pulsing video dance bar; a patio and separate dart and pool lounges for both lesbians and leather-and-Levi’s guys. Downtown, the low-keyed Shamrock Bar is a draws a quirky mix of gays, lesbians and straights of all ages and styles. Madison’s StageQ is one of the nation’s foremost GLBT-themed theater companies, staging outstanding and often provocative productions throughout the year. Among downtown hotels, the upscale Hilton Madison is a reliable choice with spacious and well-kept rooms outfitted with Wi-Fi, plush bedding and sleek, contemporary furnishings. An inexpensive lodging choice overlooking the Capitol, the Best Western Inn on the Park is also close to the Shamrock gay bar and plenty of good

restaurants. Rooms at this very gay-friendly property have a slightly old-school look, but the location and prices make it an excellent value. There are several gay-friendly B&Bs in Madison and the surrounding countryside. At Arbor House, innkeepers Cathie and John Imes have turned one of Madison’s oldest houses into a remarkably eco-friendly B&B. There are two buildings, an 1853 stagecoach tavern—with original wood floors and natural-stone fireplaces—and a light-filled contemporary annex outfitted with thick walls made with reused wood and concrete, ceramic tiles fashioned out of recycled glass and low-toxic building materials. Rooms are quite cushy, the top units with whirlpool tubs. Just south of town, the women-owned Hawk’s Nest Resort consists of a pair of beautiful, airy timber-beam cabins that are ideal for groups of friends seeking a getaway. Both units have three bedrooms and can sleep up to eight guests. A tranquil lake is just down the street, and this is a terrific area for biking. You’d never know you’re less than a 20-minute drive from downtown Madison. Andrew Collins is the author of Fodor’s Gay Guide to the USA and eight additional travel guides. He can be reached care of this publication or at

The Little Black Book -- Arbor House 608-238-2981 -- Best Western Inn on the Park 608-285-8000 -- Cafe Continental 608-251-4880 -- Cafe Montmartre 608-255-5900 -- Club 5 608-277-9700 -- Harvest 608-255-6075 -- Hawk’s Nest Resort 608-838-4798 -- Hilton Madison 608-255-5100 -- L’Etoile 608-251-0500 -- Madison Convention and Visitors Bureau 608-255-2537 -- Marigold Kitchen 608-661-5559 -- Michael’s Frozen Custard 608-222-4110 -- Michelangelo’s Coffee House 608-251-5299 -- Monty’s Blue Plate Diner 608-244-8505 -- Shamrock Bar 608-255-5029 -- StageQ 608-294-0740 -- Wah Kee Wonton Noodle 608-255-5580 -- Wasabi 608-255-5020

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Morals & Values Omens and Portents and Windows and Birds by Arthur Breur Saturday, 28 February 2009 The first robin of spring arrived today. It arrived with plenty of drama, actually, as it thumped into our living room window. From inside, the poor thing looked a little stunned, but was clearly conscious and breathing, and appeared to have no broken bones. Noticing that it was in fact a robin, my first thought was, “This is the first robin of spring! Hmm, interesting way for it to announce its arrival.” My second thought was that I have seldom seen just one robin, and looking farther outside, I saw that we were surrounded: the trees were filled and the air was streaked with hundreds of feathery red breasts. Putting on a sweatshirt, I went outside to attend to the bird I have decided to nickname “Pella”. I was rewarded with a quiet, calm bird letting me first sidle up to her, then pet her softly, and finally carefully pick her up to see if there was any hidden damage. I am no bird whisperer, but when a bird lets you pick it up, you know it is not thinking clearly. I could tell both of her legs were fine as she uncertainly hopped into my palm, and then she decided that our brief friendship had lasted long enough. She flew from my hand a short distance to hide in the shrubs. Good enough. Looking up and around, I was amazed at the number of robins I could see, and the sound of them was everywhere. It is not a loud, overwhelming sound like that made by a murder of crows. It sounds more like

Editor’s Note:

Section 3: Community

excited conversation, like the sound elderly tour bus passengers make as they peruse a gift shop. Feeling generous and welcoming, I went to check the various bird feeder supplies around the house. Robins prefer bugs, worms, and berries to seeds, and they were practically swarming what we think is an ornamental cherry tree outside our dining room window. But I figured it couldn’t hurt to put out what bird food we had in stock. (And I’m making a note to include dried berries in the Iowa bird mix in springtime!) After checking all four quarters of our yard and seeing robins in branches, robins drinking from melting snow, and robins scouring the ground in all directions, I went back out front to check on Pella. She was still in the shrubs, but when I went to get a closer look, I was happy to see our vanguard bird fly off, only slightly ruffled, to a nearby tree. Many people believe that birds are omens, and I can understand the awe they inspire. Birds are wild and intelligent and beautiful and fragile and strong, all at the same time. Some might think the first robin of spring slamming itself into our window would be a bad sign, even if she did shake it off and get back on her way… I, on the other hand, have to think about all the millions of windows that she managed to miss during all those thousands of miles. We can all only hope, after colliding with something we don’t understand and couldn’t even see was in our way, that someone kind might be there to reach out a hand; that we will choose to trust, even if only briefly; that we will take a moment to think and recover, and then get firmly back on our course.

The phrase “Morals and Values” has been used far too often by small segments of society to apply to their own morals and values, but with the implication that other segments of society either do not share certain morals and values, or worse, do not have morals and values. It is my own belief that our different groups truly have more in common than we have differences. Love, concern, compassion, safety for ourselves and others, the importance of giving, forgiveness, responsibility, industriousness, freedom, neighborliness... these are but a few of those things we hold to be important in both personally and as a society. It was my decision to label this secton of our paper “Morals and Values” as a means of encompassing both spiritual and secular beliefs; my intention is a spirit of inclusiveness that I hope will eventually erase fear and division.

April 2009

April 2009 DIRECTORY NOTICE The ACCESSline directory is updated each issue. The directory may also be found at LISTINGS ARE FREE. Information about new groups must contain a phone number for publication and a contact (e-mail address, land address, or website) for our records. For more information or to provide corrections, please contact or call (319) 550-0957.

NATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund 1705 DeSales St NW, Suite 500 Washington, DC, 20036 202-VICTORY [842-8679] Human Rights Campaign National political organization, lobbies congress for gay lesbian issues, political training state and local 1-800-777-HRCF[4723] Lambda Legal Defense & Education Fund I I E. Adams, Suite 1008 Chicago, IL 60603-6303 312-663-4413 Fax: 312-663-4307 National Gay & Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF) 1325 Massachusetts Ave NW, Suite 600 Washington, DC, 20005 www. / National Organization for Women (NOW) 733 15th ST NW, 2nd Floor Washington, DC 20005 202-628-8669 P-FLAG National Offices 1726 M St. NW Suite 400 Washington, DC 20036 202-467-8180 STATE ORGANIZATIONS Equality Iowa Call Sandy V., 515-537-3126 P.O. Box 286 Carlisle, IA 50047. Imperial Court of Iowa Non-profit fundraising and social, statewide organization with members from across the State of Iowa. PO Box 1491 Des Moines, IA 50306-1491 Iowa Chapter of the National Organization for Women (NOW) David Steward, President of Iowa NOW 1010 Charlotte Ave. Davenport, IA 52803 LGBT Youth in Iowa Schools Task Force Contact Brad Clark, Project Coordinator 515-243-1221 PO Box 1997 Des Moines, 50306. Stonewall Democrats of Iowa 5661 Fleur Drive Des Moines, IA 50321 515-244-7292 or 515-558-9580 Contact: Sharon Mahliero AMES Central Iowa Bisexual Social Monthly meetings on Sundays at 5:30pm, call for location. Open to bisexuals and their friends. 515-233-3189 First United Methodist Church 6th & Kellogg 515-232-2750 Contemporary worship Sat. 5:30; Sun at 8:30 and 11:00am. Living with HIV Program 126 S. Kellogg, Suite 1 515-956-3312 ext 106 or I -800-890-8230, Ask for Janelle (Coordinator) ISU LGBTA Alliance GLBT Support, Activism, Social Events, Newsletter G-46 Memorial Union, ISU Ames, IA. 50014 515-294-2104 Lord of Life Lutheran 2126 Gable Lane, Ames 50014 Call 515-233-2350 Services Sundays at 9:00a.m.; Wed. 7:00pm. PFLAG Ames Call Carolyn at 515-292-8348 or write to 2631 Ridgetop Rd. Ames, IA 50014. Romantics Pleasure Palace 117 Kellogg Street Ames, IA 50010

Section 3: Community 515-232-7717 Stonewall Democrats of Ames Contacts: Terry Lowman, 515-292-3279, or Mary Goodwin 515-292-0352, or: United Church of Christ-Congregational 6th & Kellogg Ames, 50010 515-232-9323 Sunday Continental Breakfast, 9:00am; Sunday School, 9:30am; Worship, 10:45am. Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Ames 1015 Hyland Ave. 515-292-5960 Services: 9am and 11am, Sunday uufa@ Unity Church of Ames 226 9th St. Sunday service and sunday school 10:30am. Wednesday mediation 6:30pm, class 7:15pm. Daily dial-a-blessing 515-233-1613 www.websyt/unity/ames. ARNOLDS PARK, OKOBOJI, SPIRIT LAKE

Wilson Resource Center An Iowa Great Lakes area gay-owned nonprofit community based organization. PO Box 486 Arnolds Park IA 51331-0486 712-332-5043 F. BURLINGTON HIV/AIDS Screening @ Des Moines County Health Department in Burlington 522 N. 3rd By appointment between 8:00am to 4:30 319-753-8217 Confidential. PFLAG Burlington/SE Iowa Chapter 319-753-1058 or write PO Box 480 West Burlington, IA 52655

United Church of Christ Cedar Falls 9204 University Avenue Cedar Falls 319-266-9686 Unitarian Universalist Society of Black Hawk County 3912 Cedar Heights Drive Cedar Falls, IA 319-266-5640. CEDAR RAPIDS/MARION Adult Shop 630 66th Ave SW 319-362-4939

Club Basix Open 5pm to 2am M-F, Sat & Sun. 3pm to 2am 3916 1st Ave. NE Cedar Rapids 319-363-3194 Coe Alliance Education, activism, & fun for GLBT and straight students, staff, faculty and people from the community. Regular meetings. Call John Chaimov (contact) at 319-399-8594 for time & place. Coe College 1220 First Ave. NE CSPS Legion Arts Contemporary Arts Center 1103 3rd St. SE 319-364-1580 Faith UMC 1000 30th Street NE Cedar Rapids, 52402 Call 319-363-8454 or Pastor Kathy Moore Sunday services at 11:00am. Visit our web page www. for information.

Steve’s Place 852 Washington St Burlington 319-752-9109 CEDAR FALLS - WATERLOO Black Hawk Co. Health Department Free HIV testing (donations accepted); MW, 1:00pm to 3:00pm; Thurs, 1:00pm to 4:45pm 1407 Independence Ave. (5th floor) Waterloo 50703 319-291 -2413. Cedar AIDS Support System (CASS) Service, support groups & trained volunteers for persons with HIV/AIDS in Waterloo/Cedar Falls area call Elizabeth or Karla, 319-272-AIDS (2437). Cedar Valley Counseling Services Promoting personal growth and development in a strengths-based environment Joan E. Farstad, MA, Director. 319-240-4615 In

Community AIDS Assistance Program (CAAP) Funding for special personal needs, community projects, and small grants that are AIDS related. PO Box 36, Waterloo, IA 50704-0036. (no phone) LGBTA Support Group at Hawkeye Community College Call Carol at 319-296-4014 for time and location of meeting Iowa Legal Aid Free civil legal service available to low income persons who qualify under income/asset guidelines. 607 Sycamore, #708, Waterloo, IA 50703 1-800-772-0039 or 319-235-7008 Kings & Queens Tap 304 W. 4th St. Waterloo, IA 319-232-3001 www.// PFLAG Waterloo/Cedar Falls 317 Hartman Ave Waterloo, IA 319-239-1096 or 319-234-6531 Stellas Guesthouse 324 Summit Ave Waterloo, IA Private B&B, Overnight accomodations for adults only. 319-232-2122 St. Lukes Episcopal Church 2410 Melrose Drive Cedar Falls, IA 50613 319-277-8520 Sunday services 8:00 and 10:15, Thurs 11:30.

UNI-LGBTA Alliance-Student Organization 244A Bartlet Hall, University of Northern Iowa Cedar Falls 50613 319-222-0003

Adult Shop North 5539 Grain Lane 319-294-5360

PFLAG Okoboji Call F. Joseph Wilson PO Box 486 Arnolds Park, IA 51331-0486 712- 332-5043

Cedar Valley Episcopal Campus Ministry. Lutheran Center 2616 College St. Cedar Falls, IA 319-415-5747 All welcome!

Together For Youth 233 Vold Dr. Waterloo, IA 50703 319-274-6768

Foundation 2 Crisis Counseling 24- hour telephone crisis counseling. 319-362-2174 or 800-332-4224 or 1540 2nd Ave. SE Cedar Rapids, IA GLRC of Cedar Rapids Support, social activities or, write to P.O. Box 1643 Cedar Rapids 52406-1643 Call 319-366-2055 and leave a message -- all calls will be returned. Krug Law Firm 401 1st St SE Suite 330 319-297-7515

Call 402-342-9595 10am - 1am, M-Sa, closed Sun Front Runners/Front Walkers Walking/jogging club. P.O. Box 4583 Omaha, NE 68104 402-496-3658.

GLBT Rainbow Outreach Omaha Serving GLBT community in eastern Nebraska and western Iowa. Excellent message and info. 402-341-0330 Also office for Imperial court of Nebraska. www. 1719 Leavenworth St Omaha, NE

Gay & Lesbian AA & AI-Anonymous Mon. 7 pm; Tues. - Thurs. 6 pm; Sat. 5:30 pm at Drake Ministries in Ed. Bldg. 28th & University

Heartland Gay Rodeo Association (HGRA) PO Box 3354 Omaha, NE 68103 402-203-4680 HGRA serves both Iowa and Nebraska.

Heartland Gay Rodeo Midwest Division of the International Gay Rodeo Association. 402-203-4680

Imperial Court of Nebraska P.O. Box 3772 Omaha, NE 68103 402-556-9907 L.E.O. (Leather Engineers of Omaha) Educational-social group for Gay Men with interest in Leather Lifestyle. Meets 2nd Saturday at Gilligan’s Pub at 7:00pm. Write L.E.O. PO Box 8101 Omaha, NE 68108.

Iowa Affirmation Lesbian/Gay United Methodist Thoreau Center, 35th & Kingman Blvd. Write Affirmation PO Box 1726 Des Moines, IA 50309

The Max 1417 Jackson at 15th Omaha, NE 68102 6 bars Call 402-346-4110.

Java Joe’s Gay friendly 214 4th St. 50309 515-288-5282

MCC of Omaha 819 South 22nd P.O. Box 3173 Omaha, NE 68103 Sun. 9 & 11 am. Contemporary Worship Service, Sat 7PM 402-345-2563. River City Mixed Chorus Gay/lesbian chorus PO Box 3267 Omaha, NE 68103 Call Stan Brown, marketing 402-341-7464. Youth Support Group for GLBT Youth 13-21, meets twice monthly. Omaha, NE 402-291- 6781. DECORAH Decorah Diversity Appreciation Team Call Martin Klammer, Luther College 700 College Dr., 52101 563-387-2112. Luther College Student Congregation Contact Office for College Ministry 700 College Drive Decorah, IA 52101 563-387-1040.

PRIDE Luther College Diversisty Center, 700 College Dr. Decorah, IA 52101 Contact Chris at 563-387-2145 or Melanie at 563387-1273

PFLAG Cedar Rapids Call Dot Shidlon at 319-362-1504 or email:

Unitarian Universalist Fellowship Meets alternating Sundays at 10:30am, Decorah Senior Center 806 River St. Call Bill at 563-382-3458.

AIDS Interfaith Network 100 N. 62nd Omaha, NE Call Br. Wm.. Woeger 402-558-3100 Citizens For Equal Protection 1105 Howard St, Suite #2 Omaha, NE 68102 402-398-3027

Gay and Lesbian Issues Committee 4211 Grand Avenue, Level-3 Des Moines, IA 50312 515-277-1117

Impulse Night Club 508 Indianola Ave Des Moines, IA 515-371-8586 Open Wed - Sun 8pm - 2am; Fri 5pm - 2am.

Rapid AIDS Grant Wood Area Red Cross 3600 Rockwell Dr NE Cedar Rapids, 52410 319-393-9579.


First Unitarian Church 1800 Bell Avenue 515-244-8603 Services Sundays at 9:30 &1 1:00 a.m. The Garden 112 SE 4th Des Moines, IA 515-243-3965 Wed-Sun. 8pm-2am

Linn County Public Health 501 13th NW 319-892-6000 Free confidential HIV testing,

Stonewall Democrats of Linn County Contact Roy Porterfield 319-362-5281

Wilson for meeting topic and place. 515-288-2500

Gilligan’s Pub and Grill 1407 Harney Omaha, NE 402-449-9147 Everyday 4pm-1am. Friday and Sat. After hours 12-4am

PFLAG Northeast IA (Waukon/Decorah) PO Box 382 Decorah, IA 52101 Call Bill & Otter, 563-382-3458 or Jean, 563535-7680

People’s Church Unitarian Universalist A welcoming congregation. 600 Third Avenue SE. 319-362-9827 11AM Sunday.

ACCESSline Page 33

DES MOINES AIDS Project of Central Iowa Resources, buddy program, support groups, and newsletter. 730 E. 4th St. Suite 100 Decorah, IA 50309 Call 515-284-0245. Buddies Corral 418 5th. Des Moines, IA 515-244-7140 Church of the Holy Spirit-MCC Pastor Pat Esperanza Sunday service I0:30am at the 1st Christian Church 2500 University Questions? email: or call 515-287-9787.

Council Bluffs NOW Write PO Box 3325 Omaha, NE 68103-0325 for information & meeting times/places.

Des Moines Gay Men’s Chorus 515-953-1540 PO Box 12269 Des Moines, IA 50312

DC’s Saloon 610 S. 14th St. Omaha, NE Call 402-344-3103. Everyday 2pm to 1am,. western/ levi/leather.

Family Practice Center Safe, supportive LGBT health care. 200 Army Post Road, Ste 26 515-953-7560

Diamond Bar 712 S. 16th St. Omaha, NE

First Friday Breakfast Club Educational breakfast club for gay/bisexual men. Meets first Friday of each month. Contact Jonathan

Kingman House Bed & Breakfast 515-279-7312 Lavender Victory Fund Financial assistance for women in need for medical emergencies. Contact Bonnie at 515-244-7946 700 Rose Ave Des Moines, IA 50315 Liberty Gifts 333 E. Grand Ave., Loft 105 Des Moines, IA 515-508-0825 Gay owned specialty clothing, jewelry, home decor. LGBT Community Center of Central Iowa Information/advocacy for gay, lesbian, bisexual & transgendered community. Open center and lending library; newsletter and special programs. 3839 Merle Hay Road, Suite 227 Des Moines, IA 50310 (515) 277-7884 Lesbian Independent Press Service (LIPS) Women’s monthly magazine. Contact Linda Smith. PO Box 22233 Clive, IA 50325-4326. MINX Show Palace 1510 N.E. Broadway Des Moines, IA 50313 (515) 266-2744 Open 9am - 2am, M-Th; 9am - 4am, F-Sat. 10am -9pm Sun. National Association of Social Workers (NOW) (Nat’1 Organization of Women in Des Moines) North Star Gay Rodeo Association of IGRA, Iowa Division of North Star or 612-82RODEO Parents of Rainbow Teens (PORT) 515-778-3668 Parent support group Rainbow Union Drake University Contact Sara Graham PFLAG Des Moines Call Howard Eldrenkamp at 515-271-6718 or write 3520 Grand Ave #51 Des Moines, IA 50312 Plymouth Congregational UCC Church. and the Plymouth GLBT Community. 4126 Ingersoll Ave. 515-255-3149 Services at 5:30pm Sat, 9am & I lam Sunday. Polk County Health Department Free STD, HIV, and Hepatitis B & C testing. HIV. Rapid testing also offered. 1907 Carpenter Des Moines, IA 515-286-3798. Raccoon River Resort Accomodations for men, women, or mixed in campgrounds, lodge, TeePees or Treehouses. Reservations: 515-996-2829 or 515-279-7312 Rio’s Video and Patio Bar 1500 SE 1st Des Moines, IA 515-288-0381 Ritual Cafe On 13th between Grand and Locust.

Section 3: Community

ACCESSline Page 34 515-288-4872 Women owned, great music, awesome food and coffee. Spouses of Lesbians & Gays Contact Ruth Schanke, 515-277-3700 St. John’s Lutheran Church 600 6th Ave “A Church for All People.” Services Sat 5pm, Sun 7:45, 8:45 & Ilam. See web page for other services. 515-243-7691 Trans-Formations Monthly meetings for the female to male and male to female transgender community and their significant others. For location and info, email Jeff at frogestyie@ or call Jordan at 515-284-0245 Trinity United Methodist Church 1548 Eighth Street Services Sundays at 10a.m. 515-288-4056 Urbandale UCC An open & affirming congregation. 3530 70th St. Urbandale, IA 50322 515-276-0625. Walnut Hills UMC Join us at 8:30 or 10:30am for Sunday worship. Sunday classes and group studies are at 9:30am. 12321 Hickman Rd. Urbandale, IA 50323 515-270-9226. Westminister Presbyterian Church 4114 Allison Ave. 515-274-1534. Sunday services 8:45 and 11am. Of note is their Gay Lesbian Straignt Affirmation small group ministry. Word of God Ministries Join us at 3:30 for Sunday Worship at 3120 E. 24th St. Des Moines, IA Mailing address: PO Box 4396 Des Moines IA 50333 515-276-6614 Women’s Culture Collective A lesbian social group. 515-830-1775 Des Moines, IA Youth Alliance Contact Sandy Vopalka 515-689-5428 705 E. 2nd St. Des Moines, IA 50309 Zanzibar’s Coffee Adventure Open daily. 2723 Ingersoll Des Moines, IA 515-244-7694. DUBUQUE Adult Warehouse 975 Jackson St. Dubuque, IA 563-588-9184. The Q 920 Main Street Dubuque, IA Open Mon - Sun, 7pm to 2am. 563-557-7375. Dubuque Friends (Quaker) Worship Group. An unprogrammed meeting at 10am Sunday through September May. Meeting at the Roberta Kuhn Center 1100 Carmel Drive Dubuque, IA 563-556-3685 for info and directions. Dubuque Regional AIDS Coalition Direct services, education. HIV+/AIDS support group and family/friends support group. Contact Kay Auderer or Connie Sprimont, Mercy Health Center. 563-589-9606. PFLAG Dubuque Call Roger or Kathy at 563-5522296 or write P-FLAG PO Box 524 Dubuque, Iowa 52004 PFLAG In Fairfield

Angie at 641-472-6925 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Dubuque 1699 Iowa St. Dubuque, IA “The uncommon denomination.” Adult religious education meets Sunday at 9am before general services at 10am. 563-583-9910 GRINNELL Saints Ephrem & Macrina Orthodox Mission. Welcoming worship in the Eastern Christian liturgical tradition. Sunday services at 10am. 1226 Broad Street Grinnell, IA 641-236-0936 Aaffiliated with the Orthodox-Catholic Church of America. Stonewall Resource Center Open 4:30pm to 11:30pm, Sun through Thurs and by Appointment. Grinnell College 1210 Park Street PO Box B-1 Grinnell, IA, 50112 641-269-3327 INDIANOLA Crossroads United Church of Christ (UCC) Open and affirming congregation. Services: Sunday I0:30am, Summer worship: June, July, Aug, @ 9:30 am. Currently worshiping at Smith Chapel, Simpson College Campus, corner of Buxton and Clinton. Mailing address: P.O. Box 811 Indianola, IA 50125 Church office phone: 515-961-9370. First United Methodist Church 307 W. Ashland Ave Indianola, IA 50125 Day: 515-961-5317 PFLAG Indianola Call 515-989-9218 or write PO Box 137 Carlisle, IA 50047. or email: IOWA CITY AA (GLBT) Meetings Sundays 5 - 6pm at First Baptist Church, 500 North Clinton Street. For more info, call IC Intergroup Answering Service, 319-338-9111 Congregational Church UCC A registered “Open and Affirming Congregation,” Sunday Worship 10:1 Sam 30 N. Clinton St. (across from Ul Pentacrest) 319-337-4301. Counseling Clinic Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender sensitive and supportive counseling for individuals, couples, families and groups. Sliding Fee. 505 E Washington St. Iowa City, IA 52240 319-354-6238. Counseling and Health Center Client-centered therapy. Les-Bi-Gay-Trans always welcome. 616 Bloomington St. Iowa City, IA 319-337-6998. Crisis Center 1121 Gilbert Court Iowa City, 52240 319-351-0140. Emma Goldman Clinic 227 N. Dubuque St. Iowa City, IA 52245 319-337-2111 or 1-800-848-7684. Faith United Church of Christ 1609 De Forest Street Iowa City, IA 319-338-5238 Services Sundays at 9:30 a.m. GLBTAU-Uof I Student support system and resource center, info, activism, events, and other community involvements. 203 IMU, University of IA Iowa City, IA 52242-1317 319-335-3251 (voice mail)

Hope United Methodist Church Worship Service at 9:30am. 2929 E. Court St. Iowa City, IA 319-338-9865 Contact Rev. Sherry Lohman. ICARE Iowa Center for AIDS Resources & Education Practical and emotional support, youth programs, information, referrals and support groups. 3211 E 1st Iowa City, IA 52240-4703 319-338-2135. Iowa City Bi-Group A discussion and support group for bisexual people and people exploring their sexuality. Meets bimonthly. Call WRAC, 319-335-1486 Iowa City Free Medical Clinic Free and strictly confidential HIV Testing. 2440 Towncrest Drive Iowa City, IA. Call for appointment . 319-337-4459. Iowa City NOW PO Box 2944 Iowa City, IA 52244 for information & meeting times/places Iowa Women’s Music Festival P.O. Box 3411 Iowa City, IA 52244 319-335-1486 Men Supporting Men HIV prevention program exploring issues that gay/ bisexual men deal with on a daily basis. Discussion Groups, Educational Series, Safer Sex Workshops, Book Club.Contact Andy Weigel, email: 319-356-6038 Ext 2 New Song Episcopal Church 912 20th Ave Coralville, IA Sunday services at 1Oam. 319-351-3577 Rev. Elizabeth Coulter, Pastor Rev. John Harper, Associate. PFLAG Iowa City-Hawkeye Chapter Call Craig Jarvie at 319-338-8487 or email: or write PO Box 652 Iowa City, IA 52244-0652 Pride Committee WRAC 130 N. Madison Iowa City, IA 52242 Bridget Malone 319-338-0512 Charles Howes 319-335-1486.

The Vortex 211 E. Washington, downtown Iowa City 319-337-3434 Women’s Resource Action Center (WRAC) Leads & collaborates on projects that serve Uofl & the greater community, offers social & support services, including LGBT Coming Out Group. University of Iowa 130 N. Madison Iowa City, IA 52242 319-335-1486 MARSHALLTOWN Adult Odyssey [Adult Video] 907 Iowa Ave E 641-752-6550 Domestic Violence Alternatives/Sexual Assult Center, Inc. 24 hour Crisis Line: 641-753-3513 or (instate only) 800-779-3512 MASON CITY Cerro Gordo County Dept. of Public Health 22 N. Georgia Ave, suite 300 Mason City –Iowa 50401. Free confidential AIDS testing. 641-421-9306 PFLAG North Iowa Chapter. PO.Box 301, Mason City, IA 50402-0301. Meeting times: 1st or 2nd Mondays at 7:00pm, 1st Pres. Church, 100 S. Pierce Ave., Mason City. email: 641-583-2024.

Quad Citians Affirming Diversity (QCAD) Social & support groups for lesian, bi, and gay teens, adults, friends & families; newsletter. 309-786-2580 Community Center located at 1608 2nd Ave, Rock Island. Quad Cities Pride Chorus. MCC Church in D’port,. 3pm Sun @ MCC church Call Don at 563-324-0215 or Rainbow Gifts 309-764-0559 T.R. Video Adult books & video 3727 Hickory Grove Rd. Davenport, IA 563-386-7914. Venus News (Adult) 902 w. 3rd St. Davenport, IA 563-322-7576 SHENANDOAH PFLAG Shenandoah 712-246-2824 or write to 1002 South Elm Street Shenandoah, IA 51601.


SIOUX CITY Am. Business & Professional Guild. Gay Businessmen. Meets last Sat. of the month; ABPG P. O. BOX 72 Sioux City, 51102

PELLA Common Ground (Central College) Support group for GLBT students and allies. Contact: Student Life, Tim Phillips 641-628-5249 QUAD CITIES AIDS Project Quad Cities Info, education & support. Suite 360 1351 Central Park West Davenport, IA 52804 563-421-4266. Augie’s Tap 313 20th St. Rock Island (IL) 309-788-7389 Noon - 3am daily. Black Hawk College Unity Alliance Serving GLBT community at Black Hawk College. 6600 34th Ave. Rock Island, IL 309-716-0542.

Uof I Lesbian, Gay & Bisexual Staff & Faculty Association c/o WRAC 130 N. Madison Iowa City, IA 52242 319-335-1486

DeLaCerda House. Provides housing and supportive services, advocacy and referrals for people living with HIV/AIDS. P.O. Box 4551 Rock Island, Il. 61201 309-786-7386.

Unitarian Universalist Society of Iowa City Inclusive and free religious community nurturing intellectual and spiritual growth and fostering ethical and social responsibility. 10 S. Gilbert Iowa City, IA Sunday services: 9am & 10:45am. 319-337-3443

Holy Spirit Catholic Faith Community Meets one Sunday per month for Mass at 5:30pm at MCC-QC 3025 N. Harrison St. IL For more info, call 563-340-7488

The Ursine Group 319-338-5810 Bear Events in the Midwest. P.O. Box 1143 Iowa City, IA 52244-1 143

Rock Island, IL Contact Tom Bengston 309-794-7406.

Alliance Cornell College, 810 Commons Cir. #2035. email: Web site: www. contact person: Glynnis @ 319-895-5874

Studio 13 13 S. Linn St. (in the Alley) Iowa City, IA 319-338-7145 Open 7pm ‘til 2am, daily

United Action for Youth A GLBTQA Youth Group providing support and counseling for teenagers and young adults processing sexual identity issues. Meets Mondays 7-9pm at UAY 410 Iowa Ave. Iowa City, IA 319-338-7518 or Teen Line, 319-338-0559.

April 2009

Mary’s On 2nd 832 W. 2nd St. Davenport, IA 563-884-8014. MCC Quad Cities. Services Sun. I0am and 12 noon. Bible study Wed. 7 pm. Write to: 3019 N. Harrison Davenport, IA 52803 Call 563-324-8281. Men’s Coming Out/Being Out Group Meets 2nd & 4th Thursdays, 7pm. Call Dennis, 309-755-7346 Prism (Augustana College) Augustana Gay-Straight Alliance for gay/lesbian students. Augustana Library 639 38th St.

“I think that for too long, we have accepted this failed strategy of allowing our rights to be debated state by state, county by county, city by city. We’ve settled for compromises for far too long. We’ve settled for fractions of equality. And I think that that is going to end. And that we’re now going to insist on full equality, equal protection under the law in all areas governed by civil law in all 50 states. And I hope people see this film (Milk) and are inspired by what we did in San Francisco in 1978 (in defeating the Briggs Initiative, Prop 6). But for strategy, I think people need to look back to 1964 when it became clear to the great leaders of the civil rights movement that many of the Southern states and many others probably would never willingly extend equal protection under the law to the African-Americans. It was then that President Johnson and the Congress passed the Civil Rights Act, extending equal protection under the law in all areas of the country. That’s what we need today. That’s what we’re calling upon the leaders of Congress and Barack Obama to do.” — Gay activist Cleve Jones, a cohort of Harvey Milk, on The Rachel Maddow Show Feb. 23, after “Milk” won two Academy Awards.

Grace United Methodist Church 1735 Morningside Avenue 712-276-3452. Jones Street Station (Bar) 412 Jones St. 712-258-6922 Nightly 6:00pm to 2:00am. Mayflower Congregational Church. 1407 West 18th Street, Call 712-258-8278. Morningside College Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Alliance Contact Professor Gail Dooley, Advisor Morningside College GSA 1501 Morningside Ave. Sioux City, IA 51106-1717 Call 712-274-5208 PFLAG Siouxland 712-251-4157 or write PO Box 1311 Sioux City, IA 51102 siouxland PFLAG St. Thomas Episcopal Church Service Sun 10:30am 406 12th St. Waverly, IA Rev Mary Christopher 712-258-0141 Western Iowa Tech. GSA for info. WAVERLY Cedar Valley Episcopal Campus Ministry. 717 W. Bremer, (St. Andrew’s Episcopal) Waverly, IA 319-415-5747 Gay, Lesbian Bisexual Student Alliance Write to: Alliance Wartburg College Contact Susan Vallem 50677 319-352-8250 St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church 717 W. Bremer 319-352-1489 We welcome all to worship with us on Sunday at I0:30am. Bible discussion Wed. 6:45. Rev. Maureen Doherty, Pastor

April 2009

Section 3: Community

ACCESSline Page 35

ACCESSline April 2009 (Vol. 23, No. 1)  

ACCESSline is Iowa's newspaper for the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and HIV+ community. ACCESSline is a bimonthly publication by ACC...

ACCESSline April 2009 (Vol. 23, No. 1)  

ACCESSline is Iowa's newspaper for the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and HIV+ community. ACCESSline is a bimonthly publication by ACC...