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Transgender Health Heartland News Iowa Transgender Bathroom Rights Care in America interview by Angela Geno-Stumme

Dr. Joseph Freund of Franklin Family Practice took the time to talk about transgender health care. Dr. Freund is a recognized expert for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) healthcare. While working to provide compassionate and well-informed healthcare to his LGBTQ patients, he has also taught extenDr. Joseph Freund. sively on the subject to coworkers, students, professionals and the public. He helped to develop a protocol, which is used nationwide

TTHEALTHCARE continued page 30

In 2007, lawmakers added gender identity to Iowa’s non-discrimination policies, addding transgender individuals to those protected under Iowa law. Since that time many complaints have been brought to the Iowa Civil Rights commission, the numbers just keep climbing as Iowans become cognizant of law changes, from 6 in 2008 to 51 in 2013. Three of those complaints have finally come through the court process. Jodie Jones and Charlene Adams were victorious in their quest to secure their right to use the facilities that match their gender identity. Jessica Smalley, the most recent to go to court, however, was not as fortunate. Her fight to use the women’s facilities at the YMCA in Burlington, Iowa. The hope is that it was more out of lack of knowledge and understanding that allowed this case to fail and that patience and time will allow her to finally be victorious.

UNI student-Iowa’s first transgender homecoming queen

University of Northern Iowa student Steven Sanchez made history as Iowa’s first transgender homecoming queen. Steven

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Coming Out as Trans Ellen Krug to Speak As told to Diana Scholl at TDOR Ames, IA Jaydee, Age 16, Bellevue, Nebraska I switched schools because of bullying. There was a lot of harassment, and people calling me a lot of names. Fag, dyke, tranny. Nobody would do much about it, even my principal. I was like, screw this, I might as well go to a different school. There are more LGBT-friendly people at this school. I’m the only Trans kid at school. It kind of gives me a little more presJaydee. Photo by Laurel Golio. sure. What people see from me they kind of expect from other Trans people. At the same time, it’s pretty

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On November 20, 2013, National Transgender Day of Awareness, Ames PFLAG, Iowa State University’s Gamma Rho Lamba, and Ames Public Library will host author/ speaker Ellen Krug for a day full of special events. Ellen is the author of, Getting To Ellen: A Memoir About Love, Honesty and Gender Change. Ellie Krug holds degrees from Coe College and Boston College Law School. She practiced law Ellen Krug in Massachusetts and Iowa, and at one time founded and oversaw a law firm specializing in trial work. She has more than 100 trials to her credit.

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Dixie’s Tupperware Party

Interview by Angela Geno-Stumme TT page 10

What’s Inside: Section 1: News & Politics

Advertising rates Letter to the Editor Transgender Day of Remembrance: by Ryan K. Sallans, MA Emma Goldman Clinic Celebrates 40 Years From the Heartland by Donna Red Wing Remarkables by Jonathan Wilson Shrink Rap by Loren A Olson MD Warren’s Words by Warren J. Blumenfeld Herding Angry Cats by Tony Dillon-Hansen Iowan Advocacy by Tami Haught Minor Details by Robert Minor In the Name of Religion by Rev. Irene Monroe

Section 2: Fun Guide

3 3 4 4 5 5 6 6 7 7 8 9

Entertainment Picks for the Month 10 Dixie’s Tupperware Party interview by Angela Geno-Stumme 10 Inside Out by Ellen Krug 11 PFLAG - Des Moines Chapter Meeting 11 Wired This Way by Rachel Eliason 12 Honor Your Body, Honor You by Davey Wavey 12 Bisschopswijn Recipes 13 Iowa’s Gay Weddings by Scott Stevens 14 I.C. Kings Fall Back to the 90s Iowa City, Iowa 14 Transgender Day of Remembrance Advocacy Ad 17 319 Drag Kings Halloween Show Cedar Rapids, Iowa 19 The Bookworm Sez by Terri Schlichenmeyer 20 Comics and Crossword Puzzle 20-21

Section 3: Community

FFBC: Brad Anderson by Bruce Carr 22 Prime Timers of Central Iowa 22 ACCESSline & Blazing Saddle Ticket Give-Away 22 From the Pastor’s Pen by Rev. Jonathan Page 23 Ask Lambda Legal by Leslie Gabel Brett 23 A Church Where Everyone Is Equal by Rev. Peter Trabaris 24 The Project of the Quad Cities 25 New GOglbt Business Referral Group 25 Business Directory 26-27 PITCH Calendar 28 An LGBT Garden in need of Help by John Clayton 29 ALPHAs 30

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NOVEMBER 2013

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Section 1: News & Politics

ACCESSline Page 3

Letter to the Editor An Open Letter to Barilla US, Guido Barilla, CEO

Dear Barilla US: I went shopping today (September 27) to purchase the ingredients needed for a personal chefing job tomorrow. I’m serving 30+ people a lovely Italian dinner. Antipasti skewers, Fociccia, Salad, Pasti e Fagioli, Farfalle with red or Alfredo sauce, grilled chicken breast, Tiramisu... good stuff. I try to buy local when I can (and when cost allows). I like to support my friends and neighbors, just as they support me. I live in Eastern Iowa, so Barilla is a brand that I consider ‘local’. When I was looking at pasta brand options, I saw your product on the shelves. On sale. $1.00 for a one pound box. Coupons were sitting on the shelf as well...it would have been even cheaper. Instead, I bought another brand. 12-ounce box of Farfalle, $1.18 each. No coupon. I bought 10 boxes. I also bought another brand of elbows, same deal. 3 boxes. Those couple of bucks I would have saved came out of *my* pocket. My ‘profit

margin’. I’m a disabled vet working the occasional odd gig to help put food on my own family’s table. Yet I chose to forgo those few bucks. Frankly, I can’t serve your product. It’s tainted. It tastes a bit of bigotry, with a smattering of hate. My customers won’t like that at all, nor does my family. See, I believe in our Civil Rights, those Rights I hold sacred, those Rights I hold dear, those Rights I took an oath to preserve and defend, those Rights I was sent to war to ensure my fellow Americans would always be able to enjoy. Iowa was among the first states to end marriage discrimination, and I’m very proud of my adopted state for having done so. When your CEO told my fellow Americans they should buy another product if they didn’t like your company’s bigotry— that meant something to me. It meant that you didn’t believe in what I put my life on the line for. It meant that you didn’t care about America that you didn’t care about all of Iowa’s families. I’m not asking everyone to boycott your company. Instead, I’m asking them to be informed consumers, and they can make up their own minds. I’m not asking anyone to stifle your speech. Those Rights are sacred, and I support your Right to say what you choose. I, too, will enjoy my Right to speak my thoughts. As a chef, I can’t serve tainted food. As an Italian American, I’m sad that an Italian company with a local plant is giving us a bad name. As a war veteran, I will continue the fight to ensure *all* Americans can enjoy their Rights. As a decent human being, I’m asking you to think about what

Frankly, I can’t serve your product. It’s tainted. It tastes a bit of bigotry, with a smattering of hate.

Joe is an avid foodie and home brewer, and provides personal chefing services for events and special occasions as well as teaching cooking classes. Joe is active on various Veterans’ causes and organizations, and volunteers with various boards and organizations in the community. Joe lives in Marion, Iowa, with his wife Sarah and son Patrick, both of whom are gifted cooks and bakers. you are saying and how it might impact others. Right now, your food is tainted. Even if it’s a more attractive price point, I can’t serve tainted food at the cost of my reputation, of my art, of my soul. Your food is tainted. Please clean up your company. Please become a local business with whom I can be proud to partner. Sincerely, Joe Stutler Owner, Joe’s Kitchen 2647 29th Ave Marion, Iowa 52302 319-389-7888

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ACCESSline Page 4

Section 1: News & Politics

NOVEMBER 2013

Transgender Day of Emma Goldman Clinic Remembrance: Honoring Celebrates 40 Years Those We’ve Lost, Celebrating Our Lives by Ryan K. Sallans, MA

Ryan K. Sallans. Transgender Speaker and author of Second Son: Transitioning Toward My Destiny, Love and Life. On November 28th, 1998, a transgender woman by the name of Rita Hester was brutally murdered through multiple stab wounds in Boston, Massachusetts. The next year, on November 20th, 1999 the “Remember Our Dead” web project was founded by Gwendolyn Ann Smith. This web project has now grown into a national event used to remember those we’ve lost in the community due to hate and prejudice, and has been called “Transgender Day of Remembrance” (TDOR). Even though this event was founded in 1999, the prejudice, hate and violence had begun long before, and continues to grow worldwide. In fact, according to the Trans Murder Monitoring Project, from January to April of this year, 2013, statistics have found that in just 13 countries there were already 78 murders reported, with the largest number of victims being transgender women, individuals who were born assigned male but identify as female. What is even more saddening is the largest majority of women who are victims, are women of color. By recognizing TDOR, we as a community,

including; LGBT-identified persons, families, friends, partners and allies are stating, “This hate needs to stop.” When I am asked to visit a campus and speak on this date, I always dedicate my talk to Brandon Teena, who lost his life due to ignorance and violence in Nebraska on December 31st, 1993. I honor him because he was a fellow Nebraskan that was victim not only to violence, but to a community that didn’t have the knowledge or resources equipped to help him honor his identity. From Brandon, I describe the inequality, harassment and violence that is so pervasive against the transgender community across the world, not just in the United States. Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) is an important day to raise awareness of these injustices and to work to try and improve safety for our transgender sisters and brothers, but is it also a time for us to recognize the beautiful lives that continue to thrive in society and culture. It is hopefully a way that we can encourage more days to be created that will honor the beauty and not just the pain, the pride, and not just the injustice. Every day there is something amazing happening in the life of someone that identifies as transgender, whether it is: announcing their love for someone else, starting on hormones to start seeing their sexual and sensual selves develop for others to see, receiving the court order from a judge that allows them to change their legal name, or changing their IDs to match their identity. Everything that happens to affirm a person’s life and identity has come from people speaking out, seeking acceptance and working toward policy change. Through having events that allow for education, celebration and bridging of communities, we create something stronger and more supportive for all of us who have been victims to harassment and discrimination. By remembering those before us, we’ll also never forget where we have come, and what we need do, to strive for a more accepting tomorrow.

Emma Goldman. The Emma Goldman Clinic celebrated cultural lecturer. On Friday the 18th, the University of its 40th Anniversary on Friday October 18th. The Emma Goldman Clinic opened for Iowa Women’s Archives hosted a panel of services in September 1973; eight months speakers from Emma’s past and present after the U.S. Supreme Court declared who spoke about how the Clinic has that the right to choose an abortion is evolved and developed over the past 40 constitutionally guaranteed. The Clinic years. There was also an open house and was the first outpatient abortion clinic in an outdoor celebration with entertainIowa and the first feminist health center ment provided by the Awful Purdies. in the Midwest. The Clinic was named For more information on the Emma for Emma Goldman, a nurse, midwife and Goldman Clinic go to EmmaGoldman.com.


NOVEMBER 2013

Section 1: News & Politics

ACCESSline Page 5

From the Heartland by Donna Red Wing, Executive Director One Iowa Crimes Against Humanity

Today Scott Lively is most famously known as the anti-gay preacher who will be tried in a Massachusetts court, sued for crimes against humanity by the organization Sexual Minorities of Uganda (SMUG). Lively, who runs Abiding Truth Ministries is deeply involved in anti-gay efforts in Uganda. The government of Uganda, in its AntiHomosexuality bill, also known as the “Kill the Gays” bill provides a menu of punishment options ranging from imprisonment to death. The bill targets LGBT Ugandans and their friends and allies, families and colleagues since the criminalization of homosexuality extends to the punishment of those who fail to turn in a known homosexual. Lively is alleged to have contributed to the bill, most specifically the pieces focused against advocacy and free assembly. Lively’s work neither begins nor ends in Uganda. He cut his political teeth in Oregon, as a leader in the Oregon Citizens Alliance and its horrific Ballot Measure 9. He has taken his message of intolerance to more than forty countries and is working to criminalize homosexuality in Moldova, Latvia and Russia. One Latvian Watchman, on an early tour, cried out: “Your generation beat the Nazis, and our country beat the Communists, together we will defeat the homosexuals!” This is what he tells those who will listen to him: “However, the spirit of homosexuality is rebellion, not self-restraint, so in every society which it enters as a political movement it begins with an appeal for toler-

ance but quickly escalates to a demand for acceptance, then celebration of its perverse culture, then dominance of its culture, especially over children, and finally, when it has sufficient political control, the punishment of all dissenters.” And, he warns: “From the United States the “gay” movement has sent missionaries of evil to many countries around the world to transform them in their own image.” This past month Lively attended the World Congress of Families (WCF), held in Moscow. The WCF is, according to their website “an international network of profamily organizations, scholars, leaders and people of goodwill from more than 60 countries that seek to restore the natural family as the fundamental social unit and the ‘seedbed’ of civil society.” The WCF, based in Illinois, recently signed a statement, along with more than one hundred anti-gay groups from across the planet supporting Russia’s “gay propaganda” law. In their statement on the Federal Law On Protection of Children from Information Harmful to their Health and Development, they supported article 5 “that protects innocence and moral formation of children by prohibiting propaganda of “non-traditional sexual relationships” among them…” Lively, who first toured Russia in 2006, takes some credit for the anti-propaganda law and has said that it was “one of the proudest achievements of my career.” In his most recent trip in October of this year,

he met with Russian Orthodox archpriest Dmitri Smirnov, head of the Patriarch’s Commission on the Family. Smirnov, according to Lively, will help him publish his book, The Pink Swastika, in Russian. That discredited book claims that gay men led the Nazis and managed the Holocaust and were responsible for Inquisition and American slavery. In addition to a Russian reprint of The Pink Swastika, with half of the proceeds funding the anti-gay movement in Russia, Lively has begun his “The Rainbow Belongs to God” program. He suggests that Olympic officials “rainbowbomb” the Olympics so that everyone, including the ‘global homosexual’ movement will know that “the rainbow belongs to God!” Scott Lively has just announced that he will run for Governor of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. It is at this point that I imagine most of us will shake our heads and say, “rainbow bomb, gubernatorial race, really?” and we will dismiss Lively. Don’t! Let me tell you about Scott Lively. I knew him more than twenty years ago when he was just beginning his antiLGBT work. He seemed as stupid and as ridiculous as he does now. And he was the architect of one of the nation’s most painful and horrific campaigns against the LGBT community–Ballot Measure 9 in Oregon. Lively speaks to the most basic fears of his constituency. He boils everything down to, and then speaks to, those fears. He helps to

sign the law if it were called the “Condominium Act.” He was afraid half the Roman Catholics in Iowa would think the state was endorsing birth control. The same is true today. So called “Obamacare” was adopted with the label, Patient Protection and Affordability Act. Not all that catchy, but the label was intended to make it more palatable—more passable by Congress. Its opponents have taken to calling it “Obamacare,” not for any substantive reason (almost anything would have been an improvement upon the broken healthcare system we’ve had), but only because there is so much unfocused hostility toward Obama in some quarters that naming it after him motivates some voters. It provides them with a pretext to express their conscious and unconscious racism. It’s instructive that those who oppose it have failed to offer anything better. I’m betting there wouldn’t be a handful of folks among the Obamacare opponents who could describe its key, objectionable provisions in any detail. There are myriad examples of politically motivated labeling. Call taxes on gigantic estates “death taxes,” and you’ll find supporters who

haven’t a prayer of ever accumulating a large enough estate to incur the tax. Never mind that the tax works to reduce the number of unproductive second and third generations of deadbeats with inherited wealth who are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple. Call a mean-spirited and unconstitutional piece of legislation the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), and it can get passed by Congress, it can get signed into law by the president, and it can be the law of the land creating second class citizens for more than fifteen years until it is finally appealed to the US Supreme Court. While both political parties are guilty of this practice, the Republicans seem to be far better at it. It’s manipulative, sadly effective, and insulting. The insult is to the American electorate. The phenomenon carries with it a sad commentary upon how policy makers and politicians perceive American voters. Be reminded every time you see legislation so labeled or a politician makes a specious argument in public debate—or misstates the obvious facts—you and your fellow citizens can know what is thought of you.

He suggests that Olympic officials “rainbow-bomb” the Olympics so that everyone, including the ‘global homosexual’ movement will know that “the rainbow belongs to God!”

Remarkables by Jonathan Wilson Know When You’re Being Insulted

What’s in a name? If Shakespeare’s quote about roses is to be believed, then nothing. The label does not determine the substance—that was Shakespeare’s point. And it’s true, generally, but not in every context. In the political arena, the labels matter. Not because they determine the substance in the political context, but because, whatever the substance, the label can drive outcomes regardless of the substance. I can remember my college years when we were going through a cyclical period of paranoia over our national security precipitated partly by the Russian launch of Sputnik I, the first earth-orbiting satellite—first, as in before the United States. Tax dollars were tight, as always, but there was interest nonetheless in implementing a college student loan program despite the money shortage. And thus was born the National Defense Student Loan Program. It had everything to do with student loans with, at best, a tenuous connection to national defense. The same was true in the early 1960s when Iowa adopted its first statute governing condominium ownership of real estate. The law is called the “Horizontal Property Act,” because the then-governor said he wouldn’t

Donna Red Wing is the Executive Director of One Iowa. She served as Executive Director of Grassroots Leadership, as Chief of Staff at Interfaith Alliance, she was a member of the Obama’s kitchen cabinet on LGBT concerns, and was Howard Dean’s outreach liaison to the LGBT communities. Red Wing was the first recipient of the Walter Cronkite Award for Faith & Freedom. Red Wing serves on the national board of the Velvet Foundation, which is building the national LGBT museum in Washington, DC. Contact Donna at OneIowa.org or donna@oneiowa.org. create a climate that gives others permission to act on those fears. In Oregon in an 18 month battle against Ballot Measure 9, which would have splayed open the constitution to declare that gay men and lesbians were “wrong, abnormal and perverse”, we recorded almost 2000 acts of violence that included: homes burned, churches desecrated, people murdered. Our lives were turned upside down. Neo-Nazis and white supremacists became present and

TTRED WING cont’d page 28

Call a mean-spirited and unconstitutional piece of legislation the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), and it can get passed by Congress…

Jonathan Wilson is an attorney at the Davis Brown Law Firm in Des Moines, and chairs the First Friday Breakfast Club (ffbciowa.org), an educational, non-profit corporation for gay men in Iowa who gather on the first Friday of every month to provide mutual support, to be educated on community affairs, and to further educate community opinion leaders with more positive images of gay men. It is the largest breakfast club in the state of Iowa. He can be contacted at JonathanWilson@DavisBrownLaw.com.


ACCESSline Page 6

Section 1: News & Politics

NOVEMBER 2013

Shrink Rap by Loren A Olson MD Dr. Olson, I am 45 and my partner is 69. How often should we be having sex? I have been ready to renounce my needs because I’ve never loved someone like I love him. Renouncing My Needs Dear Renouncing, This question comes up frequently in couple relationships. It is raised with same-sex and other-sex couple, and couples that are the same sex or intergenerational. It is one issue which almost all couples will need to negotiate. When Doug and I first got together over 25 years ago, he once said to me, “Loren, You know we don’t have to have sex every night.” At age 40, I was newly out and I had a lot of time I wanted to make up for. The answer can be approached by answering three questions: Are you asking about sex together or separately? What are the rules of your relationship? What are the differences in sexual drive, erectile function, ejaculation and sexual satisfaction in couples with significant differences in their age? I have a gay cousin who is single and often says to me, “Loren, You’re married. You can have all the sex you want any time you want it?” Anyone who’s been in a relationship for very long knows that that is

not the case. Love makes demands; some people should never be partnered because they are not willing to make sacrifices for anyone else. You state that you may need to “renounce” your sex drive, which implies that the conflict arises because you are younger and therefore naturally have a higher sex drive; aging does have some impact as we’ll see later, but it is not the only one factor that impacts our interest in sex. Some people are simply more sexual than others. Sex drive is impacted by the state of one’s physical and emotional health. Life stresses can interfere with one’s interest in sex. Our sex drive is just one part of a dynamic system that impacts our interest in sex, and because it is dynamic it changes over time and one member of the couple may have greater needs at one time while the other has greater needs at another time. The word “renouncing” suggests that you are feeling you are the one who’s making the sacrifice and I detect a tone of resentment in the question. If one person in any relationship feels they are making all of the sacrifices, resentment often follows. A conflict that goes on unresolved

for a long time and is not addressed can quickly erode a very good relationship. Hopefully if your sexual needs are higher, at least for now, you have already said to your partner something like this: “You seem not to want sex as often as I do right now. Can you help me figure out a way to resolve this?” Your partner’s interest may have waned because he has some issues (with you?) that preoccupy him. What are the rules of your relationship? Do they need to be renegotiated? Most men in a relationship masturbate alone sometimes for a wide variety of reasons and it doesn’t necessarily mean there is a huge problem in the relationship. It happens for a variety of reasons, some of which I’ve addressed. But it also can just be a quick and easy sexual release when you have some need your partner doesn’t share. Or you may have a secret sexual fantasy you’re not ready to share with your partner, at least not yet. Internet cam sex doesn’t have to be damaging to a relationship unless it becomes a substitute for the relationship. It also tends to set the bar very high for what satisfying sex is. Internet sex is really interactive porn where anyone can be anyone they want to be and can edit out

anxieties about their economic well being and, quite ironically, even to vote against their own economic interests. In Iowa, for example, the local Tea Party affiliate fronted funds for a billboard poster depicting Obama as the “Democrat Socialist” alongside Hitler as the “National Socialist” and Vladimir Lenin as the “Marxist Socialist” all above the ironic caption “Radical Leaders Prey on the Fearful and Naïve.” This is a recent example of how the political Right distorts and misuses the term “socialist” not only by conflating German Fascism and Soviet Communism (contradictory and oppositional political philosophies), but also by demonizing the notion of collective responsibility and communitarian values. Tea Party leaders espouse all forms of dire warnings, and Boehner asserted that the Affordable Health Care Law “is Armageddon” and “it will ruin our nation.” To the contrary, the law, while unfortunately severely neutralized over the past few years, actually serves middle class and working class people by limiting insurance companies from restricting coverage to people with previous conditions, it increasing the rights of parents to continue covering their adult children on their policies until the age of 26, it provides greater choices in health care coverage, and as projected by the National Budget Office, it will reduce the deficit over the next decade. I do see, however, a clear parallel

between the protestors aboard the ship on Boston harbor and the recent Tea Partiers. Through a collective mythology, many of us were taught in school that the protesters donned Indian clothing and face paint for their tea dumping actions. In actuality, while the majority did not dress as Indians, some did. I find this problematic since they were acting out racist stereotypes of the so-called “thieving heathens.” While I would hope that the vast majority of current Tea Party Members would not personally condone oppressive actions, a number of followers have engaged in racist, homophobic, ableist, and misogynistic name calling and other acts of violence. For example, at a rally held in front of the U.S. Capitol shortly before the House was to vote on the impending health care legislation, a protestor spat upon Representative Emanuel Cleaver (D-Mo.), another called Representative John Lewis (D-Ga.) a “ni—,” and someone called gay Representative Barney Frank (D-Mass.) a “fa—ot” through distinctive lispy intonations. And supporting the protestors, Representative Steve King (R-Iowa) held up and physically swatted a picture of Representative Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) from atop the Capitol balcony. Protesters carried posters of President Obama represented as an African medicine man replete with feathers and loin cloth and bones pierced through his nostrils.

Most men in a relationship masturbate alone sometimes for a wide variety of reasons and it doesn’t necessarily mean there is a huge problem in the relationship.

Warren’s Words by Warren J. Blumenfeld “Tea Party” Pollutes Body Politic

As a student of history, and a former longtime resident of Boston, I am very troubled by the so-called “Tea Party” movement’s actions and its current misappropriation of the term. The original direct action protest on December 16, 1773 by British American colonists was the culmination of longstanding grievances against the British government under the battle cry of “no taxation without representation.” According to the British Constitution, only Parliament could levy taxes, and since colonists were prohibited from voting for members of Parliament or of sending their own representatives to serve in Parliament, they considered the series of taxes, including the tea tax, a violation of their rights as citizens of the British realm. The current movement contains no well-developed political philosophy other than extreme hatred of what they consider “Big Government,” which they view as the cause of the nation’s troubles. Speaker of the House, U.S. Representative John Boehner (R-Ohio), referred to Tea Partiers as “great patriots,” and stated: “It’s not enough, however, for Republicans to simply voice respect for what the Tea Partiers are doing, praise their efforts, and participate in their rallies. Republicans must listen to them, stand with them, and walk among them.” Unfortunately, that is exactly what Boehner is doing. The Tea Partiers with their Republican allies have very deftly used the rhetoric of fear verging on paranoia to exploit people’s

The current movement contains no well-developed political philosophy other than extreme hatred of what they consider “Big Government,” which they view as the cause of the nation’s troubles.

Loren A. Olson MD is a board certified psychiatrist in the clinical practice of psychiatry for over 35 years. Dr. Olson has conducted research on mature gay and bisexual men for his book, Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight, a Psychiatrist’s Own Story. He has presented on this subject at conferences across the United States and Internationally. His blog, MagneticFire. com, has a strong following among mature gay and bisexual men. He established Prime Timers of Central Iowa, a social organization for mature gay/bisexual men. For more information go to FinallyOutBook.com or contact him on Facebook.com. all their weaknesses and failures. If you’re in a committed relationship, you can’t just

TTSHRINK RAP cont’d page 9

Warren J. Blumenfeld is author of Warren’s Words: Smart Commentary on Social Justice (Purple Press); editor of Homophobia: How We All Pay the Price (Beacon Press), and co-editor of Readings for Diversity and Social Justice (Routledge) and Investigating Christian Privilege and Religious Oppression in the United States (Sense). www. warrenblumenfeld.com In 2010, protestors throughout the country hurled bricks through windows of some Democratic representatives and a Democratic Party office, sent death threats and racist faxes, and even delivered a coffin to one congressperson’s office. At a Tea Party rally held in Columbus Ohio, some protestors heckled a U.S. veteran who sat on the ground holding up a sign “I Support Health Care.” Screamed one Tea Partier: “If you’re looking for a handout, you’re in the wrong damn town.” Another threw five-dollar bills in his face shouting: “I’ll decide when to give you money!” In a March 23, 2010 tweet, in reference to the passage of the Congressional health care bill, Sarah Palin commented: “Common-

TTWARREN’S WORDS cont’d page 9


NOVEMBER 2013

Section 1: News & Politics

ACCESSline Page 7

Herding Angry Cats by Tony Dillon-Hansen The phrase “herding cats” is intended to reference ridiculous attempts to control a group of people that are simply unwilling or unable to be controlled. For me having a bundle of cuddling kitties in my arms sounds nice, but this statement is indicative of the notso-cuddly or lovable (in fact, quite angry) TEA party during the recent Washington hysterics. They, like any Americans, have the desire for rights and the desire to freely express oneself. They may have these, but their perspective borders on insurrection and distorts truths about how they view parts of American life. Their vision ignores basic truths in favor of branding their view as a cause and other cool-sounding rhetoric. A cause is not always “just”, and sometimes, the “cause” is short-sighted and just plain selfish. Many of the TEA party believe they have a righteous cause, akin to saving Jesus from execution, and no matter who gets hurt and with no respect to any others, they will fight to have their voice heard because their cause is the only one that matters (not just a supposed superior one.) Their cause is one that is nostalgic and envisions America to look like the old southern plantations where people ought to live in their place, the colors do not mix, guns are always great, and public education distorts the values in society if not historical facts. Diversity is foreign to this ideal and a threat to their American way of life. Anything that threatens the view should be squashed. People raised in this point of view are sadly mistaken when they find the rest of the world does not operate in this boxed view of the world. They have managed to get voted into office because of bloated and gridlocked government with the vision to restore the nation to a “cause”. Without consideration, they will stymie government to achieve

this and have preferred dysfunction over governance. Dysfunctional government is destructive to the face and character of the United States. The Constitution asserts a slow moving government in order that policy be given proper consideration rather than rash irresponsibility. The Reagan mantra that “government is the problem”, by itself, is incorrect, but when a herd of angry cats run the government, the result can be a dangerous problem. Good government, in contrast, can be the assistant that enables growth of the whole society. Bad government is as bad as having rogue companies ruin our environment, hording resources, denying people legitimate claims, enslaving people to poverty, persecuting entire sects of the population, executing vigilante justice upon people via mobs, or hiding their intolerance and hatreds behind supposed religious texts.. Currently, Washington is a dysfunctional government disabled by the loud few, and those few want Washington to fail. To quote another president (Kennedy), “We no longer live in a world where only the actual firing of weapons represents a sufficient challenge to a nation's security to constitute maximum peril.” A weapon does not have to be a rocket or gun, but can be a tactic to impale the government from doing anything. The TEA party, primarily because of a couple policies they dislike, want to see Obama and the federal government fail. An organization that ultimately wishes to witness the failure of the government is being wildly reckless, threatening to economic security, undermining of global alliances that count upon our stability, and teetering upon insurrection against the

very Constitution they supposedly uphold. That does represent a “sufficient challenge” to the nation's security. Further, these people have been elected from districts that have been drawn to elect them and to keep them elected. They will not be held accountable to people from outside of their caucus given the gerrymandering that has entrenched their positions into power. Gerrymandering should be declared illegal since it inherently rejects review by the people over the Congress (explicit by the Constitution), and congressional districts should be designed along the parameters that the Iowa redistricting has to follow. Until then, these people will not be accountable to the whole of people but rather only to the select few that have been selected to vote for them. Another complaint issued by the TEA party is how government spends money wastefully. Yet, they have installed themselves into power and then milk the public for a salary to do nothing even though they were supposedly elected to do something. Some contend that government policy should be based upon some cost-benefit style marketism. Ironically, things like accessible roads, airline safety, medical research, public education, science research, retirement, and such are considered too costly, that is if others might benefit more than they. Rights become part of a cost-benefit analysis now. Simply, the right thing to do is replaced by the costeffective thing to do. They are willing to promote big businesses, especially defense contractors that give short-term benefit to no one else but

we are productive members of society. I don’t know if they fear HIV less, or have they just received so little education about it that they want to hear more. I truly fear for this new generation, they are receiving less education about HIV, people assume that they know everything about HIV since it has been around their whole life. What people forget is that if they are not educated on the modes of transmission, they cannot protect themselves. I often ask attendees what are the 4 body fluids that HIV is found in, unfortunately very few know more than one body fluid. Everyone seems to know that HIV is found in blood, but beyond that a lot aren’t sure what other body fluids HIV is in. Some answers have included urine, saliva, a few more know that it found in semen and vaginal secretions, but few think of breast milk. So just in case I have confused you HIV is found in 4 body fluids: blood, semen, vaginal secretions, and breast milk and that it is. You cannot contract HIV from kissing, hugging, toilet seats, or sharing utensils or a glass. I was surprised when I first started asking this question when people were worried about eating off a plate or drinking out of a glass that someone living with HIV had used.

It’s not an issue, you’re safe. I also suggest you wash your dishes after each use, for basic health safety. There are still so many stigmas and misconceptions out there that people living with HIV still have to deal with, having to educate people over and over. I appreciate it when someone asks; I would rather have you ask me a question than talk behind my back wondering. But it can be tiring having to deal with it daily. I look forward to the day when there is no fear and stigma, when people look at us like we are normal, which we are, or most of us are anyway. I did have a great week and a few surprises, the first was after one of the presentations a student came up to me and said I admire strong women, I admire you, that was very touching, because I haven’t always been this strong, I was cloaked in silence and lies afraid to tell people the truth. It’s so nice to be able to be myself and speak my mind. The second surprise was from a cousin who I don’t see very often, an occasional family gathering; unfortunately like most families we only get together around weddings or funerals. But she private messaged me and let me know how much she appreciated the fact that I speak out to college students and that she is going back to school and was wondering if I have ever traveled to Minnesota to speak. Due to financial constraints I can’t travel without

Diversity is foreign to this ideal and a threat to their American way of life. Anything that threatens the view should be squashed.

Iowan Advocacy by Tami Haught A New Generation

I have had the pleasure of talking with students at UNI and Simpson College this week about living with HIV/AIDS and working to modernize Iowa’s HIV specific law. I enjoy every year and appreciate all of the students, faculty, staff, and everyone who attends, but this year seemed a little different. The students really listened, paid attention, and stayed until the end of our time together, which was amazing since they all have so many different things to do with work, classes, homework, they came, they stayed, and they listened. I am wondering what is different, was it the fact that they heard of 2 young people newly diagnosed in the Cedar Valley age 19 and 23. Did they understand that HIV can happen to one of them? HIV does not discriminate and care that you are just starting the next chapter in your life; HIV doesn’t care how old you are. Is it that this new generation of young people never saw the tragic times in the 80’s and early 90’s, when so many people were dying so quickly, creating a great fear, anger, and hatred of HIV/AIDS? Their view is that people living with HIV/AIDS are living longer;

You cannot contract HIV from kissing, hugging, toilet seats, or sharing utensils or a glass.

Tony E Dillon-Hansen is a web developer, organizer, researcher, writer, martial artist, and vocalist from Des Moines. For more information go to tigersnapdragons.com. their own business. This is an incongruous vision from the bigger concern about wasteful spending if the spending they desire is only beneficial for a few. If these people believe that government should give welfare to businesses and farmers then they should have no problem with the government helping individual citizens get better education, better health, or even a better standard of living. That is because when more people have discretionary money, rather than just a few, then more businesses have opportunity to sell products and services yields more boats rising. Instead, they seem more focused upon building bombs than schools. The actions by TEA party activists have made our country vulnerable and threaten the stability of this country. Their right-wing fanaticism is dangerous and if the current Congressional leadership or President cannot herd these cats, they all need to be shown the door as quick as possible.

Tami Haught has been living with HIV for almost 20 years. She is the CHAIN Community Organizer, President for PITCH, and new member of the SERO Project Board of Directors. Tami started speaking out about her HIV status when her son started school hoping that providing education and facts would make life easier for her son, by fighting the stigma, discrimination, isolation, and criminalization people living with HIV/AIDS face daily. Contact info: tami. haught2012@gmail.com website: www.pitchiowa.com assistance, but it reminded me how blessed I truly am. I have an incredible family support system, which I cherish and never take for granted. And I have a job that I love; I get to do what I am passionate about. I truly am one of the luckiest people l know. I wish everyone to have the peace and joy I have worked so hard to achieve.


ACCESSline Page 8

Section 1: News & Politics

NOVEMBER 2013

Minor Details by Robert Minor Will Marriage Equality Matter to the Community?

Watching the marriages of lesbians and gay men take place this past year ought to be warming the heart of anyone who values equality and fairness. Government recognition—with responsibilities and benefits tied to the official status of a relationship—so long denied them, is becoming a reality, federally and state by state. There are those radical right-wingers who wish none of it were happening and see same-sex marriages as disgustingly evil. Their reactions are, if nothing else, sad commentaries on their inability to be moved by what marriage—so hard fought for and so often assumed to be a hopeless dream—means to real human beings beyond just winning equal rights. It’s as if the right-wing lacks some natural feelings for celebrating love, wherever it’s found. And hiding in their trumped-up religious arguments only saves them from being moved out of some common humanity that knows real empathy for the feelings of fellow human beings. While right-wing religious people go on and on about Divine love, they seem to have lost the capability of finding it beyond their sects. Their ideas of love are self-centered and insular. And right-wingers prefer to think of all

lesbian and gay male partnerships as less than their own true relationships. They’d rather paint them as just about sex and lust so as not to admit in their own minds that these relationships involve a level of commitment that expresses all that love could mean between two people. Rather than facing all that LGBT people have gone through to just love someone, and that this is certainly a religious parable of what love is meant to be, the naysayers cling to their dogmas. In reality, LGBT people have been beaten, tortured and killed, have been kicked out of their families and lost their jobs, have been ridiculed and condemned from platforms and pulpits, because they fought to love someone. So many of those taking advantage of marriage equality had already been living in love and commitment to each other for decades. These older generations seem to be flocking to the legal marriage protections given by the government more than the young who’ve lived through years marked by a bit more tolerance and often don’t feel what this breakthrough means in the light of lifetimes of oppression that older generations came to take as second nature. Yes, yes. There is much about the institution of marriage in our culture to question. There are many of us both outside and inside the LGBT community who do so, and some who criticize those who choose it, assuming

And right-wingers prefer to think of all lesbian and gay male partnerships as less than their own true relationships.

the worst intentions of anyone who’d want to marry. And it’s true. On the whole marriage isn’t doing well. It’s been a patriarchal institution. Culturally, it comes with role expectations that are often stifling, straight-acting and undemocratic. Society over-promises that marriage gives so much more than any institution could ever deliver. And in America it’s defined, as most things are, by consumerism. But putting all that aside, for so many, to partake in marriage seems to legitimize, solemnize, and express relationships that are deep and meaningful. And it provides protection not only for their relationship but for both partners in it. Then, again, marriage isn’t an end in itself. We get married for reasons other than just to be married. The right-wing keeps saying that its purpose is to have children. Paul, the firstcentury Christian apostle wrote that it’s to take care of sexual lust: “It’s better to marry than to burn.” But there’s something bigger. Merely huddling together in a protected status afraid of what loneliness, uncertainty, and danger might otherwise come would be fear, not love. The test of marriage is how the love it expresses spills over into a community. That includes the friends we love but also the larger communities with which we identify, Social commentator, conservationist, farmer, essayist, novelist, professor of English, and poet Wendell Barry put it this way: “Lovers must not, like usurers, live for themselves alone. They must finally turn from their gaze at one another back toward the community. “If they had only themselves to consider, lovers would not need to marry, but they must think of others and of other things. They say their vows to the community as much as to one another, and the community gathers around them to hear and to wish them well, on their behalf and its own. It gathers around them because it understands how necessary, how joyful, and how fearful this joining is…. And so here, at the very heart of community life, we find not something to sell as in the public market but this momentous giving. If the community cannot protect this giving, it

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KRUG In 2009, Ellie transitioned from male to female. She then became the only Iowa attorney, and one of the few nationally, to try jury cases in separate genders. She is a frequent speaker on the life lessons learned as she traveled on her “gender journey.” Ellie presently works as the executive director of a nonprofit that helps connect low-income people with legal resources in the Twin Cities. Ellie lives in Minneapolis, where she is a freelance writer for two publications, including ACCESSline. Her memoir, Getting to Ellen: A Memoir about Love, Honesty and Gender Change (Stepladder Press), was published in February 2013. What is the price of living an authentic life? Ellen Krug knows. “Getting to Ellen” details the “gender journey” taken by Ellen Krug, a woman born into a male body. As a man, “Ed” Krug had everything anyone could ever want: the love of a soul mate named Lydia, two beautiful

Robert N. Minor, Ph.D., Professor Emeritus of Religious Studies at the University of Kansas, is author of When Religion Is an Addiction; Scared Straight: Why It’s So Hard to Accept Gay People and Why It’s So Hard to Be Human and Gay & Healthy in a Sick Society. Contact him at www.FairnessProject.org. can protect nothing...” (Sex, Economy, Freedom and Community, 1993) To abandon the realization that we’re always in a community by getting married is to abandon the very acts of love that two, three or more can accomplish in the world. It’s to ask for something from the community without giving back what that community also needs from the combined strength, energy and love of lovers. For LGBT people, one question is: will becoming married mean forsaking any LGBT community with the shared interests, problems, and concerns of all of us that it had in the past? If so, how will we be reminded that we are all in this together till death us do part? Who will then take care of our widows and widowers if not our community? Where will they go to live out their days after saying the inevitable goodbye to the one they committed to for life? Who will be healthy community elders for LGBT youth at the times they need them? Who will model for our youth, who can get so caught up in other things, what long-term, grow-old-together relationships look like, or even the fact that they can exist? Who, then, out of their love together will love so much that it will spill over in community?

daughters, a house in the best neighborhood, a successful trial lawyer’s career—a Grand Plan life so picture-perfect it inspired a beautiful pastel drawing. In a quest to find inner peace, Ed gradually confronted fear and loss, including the residue of growing up in an alcoholic household and a parent’s suicide. As this page-turning story of self-discovery unfolds, the reader understands that for Ed to live authentically as Ellen, much of that picture-perfect life—including Lydia’s love—would need to be sacrificed. It’s a glimpse into the life choices that all of us make—whether or not we’re transgender. This story details what it means to be transgender, and it will help anyone wrestling with gender identity issues or loved ones trying to understand another’s “gender journey.” Ames PFLAG and the Ames Public Library will sponsor an author reading and book signing at the Octagon Center for the Arts, 427 Douglas Ave. Ames, Iowa from 11:30 – 1 PM. The public is invited to bring a sack lunch and hear Ellen speak; PFLAG will provide beverages and desserts. For more information go to GettingToEllen.com.


NOVEMBER 2013

Section 1: News & Politics

ACCESSline Page 9

In the Name of Religion by Rev. Irene Monroe The Matthew Shepard we don’t know

There are numerous hagiographies on the Matthew Shepard murder.  Twenty years after Shepard’s murder, they’re being challenged. Are we ready for the tale investigative journalist Stephen Jimenez, himself gay, spins? I had the pleasure of meeting him at his book reading in the Harvard Coop this month. I told Stephen, referring to his book, that perhaps it’s easier to kill the messenger (him) than hear his message.  Jimenez’s message in “The Book of Matt: Hidden Truths About the Murder of Matthew Shepard,” upends a canonized narrative we all have grown familiarly comfortable with, irrespective of its sensationalized macabre details. Jimenez posits that Shepard’s murder had nothing to do with his sexual orientation but rather his involvement in the deadly underworld of Laramie’s crystal methamphetamine  drug trafficking. Jimenez writes that Shepard was not only a user but was a courier who had plans just before his death to drive shipment of meth.  “I learned that Matthew had been a user of meth. And from everything I was able to trace, Matthew got into meth in a serious way, when he was living in Denver, before he moved to Laramie. He moved to Laramie in the summer of 1998. I ended up meeting and interviewing several friends of Matthew. One of them, Tina Labrie, talked about the fact that, you know, Matthew mentioned to her that each time he moved to a new place that he would try to leave the drug world behind, but he found himself getting pulled back in,” Jimenez stated in a recent interview with Rachel Martin of “Weekend Edition” from NPR, reflecting on the anniversary of Shepard’s murder.  In a 2004 episode of the television newsmagazine show “20/20’s” investigative journalist Elizabeth Vargas also reported that money and drugs motivated Shepard killers’ actions and not homophobia. And now with Jimenez’s incontrovert-

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WARREN’S WORDS sense Conservatives and Lovers of America, Don’t Retreat, Instead – RELOAD!” In addition, on her website, she constructed a page listing vulnerable Democratic Party elected officials projected through the cross hairs of a rifle. While I do not connect the current spate of violent actions to Palin’s words, I wonder how her statements constructively contribute to the debate. I actually agree with Tea Party follower’s contention that great economic disparities exist and are widening in this country, though not for the reasons they assert. So-called “Big Government” is not the cause of the problem. The relatively unregulated and unfettered Wall Street, banking, and “free market” systems constitute the actual threats. According to the organization, United for a Fair Economy, by 2004, the top 10% of the population owned 71% of accumulated wealth in the country. Subdivided even further, the top 1% owned 31% of the

ible evidence that Shepard’s murderers were not strangers—one is a bisexual crystal meth addict who not only knew Matthew, but partied, bought drugs from and had sex with Matthew. With this “new” information a more textured but troubling truth emerges. This truth shatters a revered icon for LGBTQ rights, one deliberately chosen because of race, gender and economic background. “Matthew Shepard’s status as a gay everyman was determined—first by the media, then by gayrights groups—with little knowledge of who he was. He looked like an attractive, angelic, white college student from the heart of conservative America...” Gabriel Arana wrote in her 2009 piece “The Deification of Matthew Shepard: What the gay-rights movement has lost by making Shepard its icon.” The anointing of Matthew Shepard as an iconic image for LGBTQ rights not only concealed from the American public the real person but also it hid the other varied faces of hate crimes in the 1990’s.  For example, in 1998, the year Matthew was murdered, Americans got to see its “haterati” at its ugliest. The country saw the worst form of social intolerance since the McCarthy witch-hunts and the lynching of a 14-year-old African-American boy named Emmett Till of Chicago. In a small remote town in East Texas named Jasper, an unemployed vacuum cleaner salesman named James Byrd, Jr. was walking home from a party along Highway 96 and was offered a ride. Little did he know that he would be chained to the back of a pick-up truck and dragged by his ankles to his death—simply because he was black. During the summer months of 1998, the country was hit with the explosion

of “ex-gay” ministry ads that appeared in major newspapers like The New York Times,  The Washington Post, and USA Today. The ads were sponsored by a coalition of 15 right-wing Christian organizations calling all lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people to convert to heterosexuality. The ads stated: “Please, if you, or someone you know or love is struggling with homosexuality, show them this story. If you truly love someone, you’ll tell them the truth. And, the truth that God loves them could just be the truth that sets them free.” And then in October of that year, we heard the deadly news coming from Laramie, Wyo. This time, the victim was Shepard, 21. While a nation cried out in horror over the brutal killing of Matthew Shepard, the 1993 murder of Teena Brandon, a 21-year-old white Nebraskan transgender man (the inspiration for the 1999 movie “Boys Don’t Cry”) went unnoticed. As did untold numbers of hate crimes against LGBTQ people of color that were unreported in mainstream papers, and rarely saw the light of day in queer ones as well.  In reading Jimenez’s book we shockingly learn that the Matthew Shepard, Gay Icon, story is a fictive narrative. Some would empathically argue it’s a good one to politically canonize in order to push for needed legislative changes in the protection and understanding of LGBTQ Americans.  The fruit of the Shepard narrative includes: The Matthew Shepard Foundation, The Laramie Project, T.V. movie “The Matthew Shepard Story,” The Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Hate Crimes Prevention Act, mostly known as the Matthew Shepard Act, and Jason Collins, the first openly gay African American

Jimenez posits that Shepard’s murder had nothing to do with his sexual orientation but rather his involvement in the deadly underworld of Laramie’s crystal methamphetamine drug trafficking.

country’s wealth. The wealthiest 1% own approximately 45% of all stocks and mutual funds. In addition, the very rich pay less in taxes than at any point in recent history. Overall, the concentration of wealth is even more extreme today than during the Great Depression. I find it unbelievable that one of the richest and most powerful countries in the world failed previously to provide quality health care to an estimated 47 million of its citizens. I also find it unbelievable that a majority of Republicans in the House of Representatives are so beholden to the Tea Party and their followers that they are holding the government hostage to defeat the health care law. While tea leaves contain multiple antioxidants beneficial to the human body, the Tea Party, conversely, pollutes the body politic. Therefore, collectively, we cannot allow the merchants of fear to distort and manipulate the facts and divert our attention away from the genuine problems we currently face.

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SHRINK RAP “click off ” when something happens you don’t like. Some couples allow for satisfaction of difference in sexual needs by allowing for a more open relationship, and rules can be renegotiated even in mature established relationships. Renouncing your sexual needs increases your risk of pursuing sex outside the relationship without having renegotiated or resolved anything. Your hormones are on rapid boil and may begin to interfere with rational thought, undermining earlier commitments to your partner. There are four dimensions of male sexual functioning that are impacted by age: sex drive, erectile function, ejaculation and recovery/refractory phase (your “down time” before you can feel sexually aroused again). Sex drive does diminish, although some men maintain a very high sex drive

Rev. Irene Monroe is a graduate from Wellesley College and Union Theological Seminary at Columbia University, and she has served as a pastor at an African-American church before coming to Harvard Divinity School for her doctorate as Ford Fellow. She is a syndicated queer religion columnist who tries to inform the public of the role religion plays in discrimination against lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer people. Her website is irenemonroe.com. professional baller, who, during the 2012-13 NBA season, deliberately wore the number “98” on his jersey to honor Shepard.  Not bad, some would say, for a story built on a lie. The cultural currency of the Shepard narrative’s shelf life, however, might now after nearly two decades be flickering out, or it’s now of no use to its framers and the community is was intended to serve. “There are valuable reasons for telling certain stories in a certain way at pivotal times, but that doesn’t mean we have to hold on to them once they’ve outlived their usefulness,” Aaron Hicklin, Editor-in-Chief of “Out” magazine wrote in his Advocate piece “ Have We Got Matthew Shepard All Wrong?” I read Jimenez’s “The Book of Matt” as a cautionary tale of how the needs of a community trumped the truth of a story.

throughout their lives. Having your doctor check your testosterone level may be a good idea because it is easily treated, but there are some medical precautions that must be followed. But part of the explanation for a lower drive may be more psychological than physical Men tend to equate a good, hard erection with manliness, and unfortunately good, hard erections are becoming equated with Viagra and Cialis. But it may be more difficult to obtain and maintain an erection as one ages. Unfortunately, after struggling with this a few times, it can set off a great deal of “performance anxiety”– an unfortunate term that suggests that sex is all about performance and not about pleasure. Masters and Johnson in the 1960s found they could treat over 80% of cases of “erectile dysfunction” be refocusing a couple on how to give mutual pleasure to each other through touch. Ejaculatory volume doesn’t seem to be a big issues except to directors of porn

TTSHRINK RAP cont’d page 24


ACCESSline’s fun guide

Our Picks for November 11/3, Des Moines, Iowa, Embassy Suites Downtown, Benefit 2013, AIDSProjectCI.org 11/7, Fairfield, IA, Sondheim Center for the Performing Arts, Vienna Boys Choir, FairfieldACC.com 11/7, Sioux Falls, SD, Washington Pavilion, SPANK! The Fifty Shades Parody, WashingtonPavilion.org 11/7, Omaha, NE, Orpheum Theater, Cameron Carpenter, OmahaPerformingArts.org 11/8, Des Moines, IA, The Temple Theater, Mary Swander, DesMoinesPerformingArts.org 11/8-10, Burlington, IA, Steve’s Place, Miss Gay Midwest Diva, Facebook.com/HollyVegas.9 11/10, Mason City, IA, North Iowa Auditorium,

Dixie’s Tupperware Party

interview by Angela Geno-Stumme

Orchestra Iowa: Beauty & Beethoven,

NIACC.edu 11/12-13, Lincoln, NE, Lied Center, Memphis, LiedCenter.org 11/13, Council Bluffs, IA, Mid America Center, Trans-Siberian Orchestra, MidAmericaCenter.com 11/13, Iowa City, IA, The Englert, Jake Shimabukuro, Englert.org 11/14-15, Ames, IA, Stephens Auditorium, The Nutcracker, Center.IAState.edu 11/15-24, Rock Island, IL, The District Theatre, The Tempest, DistrictTheatre.com 11/20, Iowa City, IA, The Englert, Macbeth, Englert.org 11/22, Lincoln, NE, Rococo Theatre, Margaret Cho, RococoTheatre.com 11/23-24, Davenport, IA, Adler Theatre, Iowa Burlesque Festival, AdlterTheatre.com

...and December

12/4-29, Des Moines, IA, The Temple Theater, Dixie’s Tupperware Party, DesMoinesPerformingArts.org 12/5, Sioux City, IA, Orpheum Theatre, Cirque Dreams Holidaze, BroadwayAtTheOrpheum.com 12/6-29, Des Moines, IA, Des Moines Playhouse, Peter Pan, DMPlayhouse.com

Dixie Longate. Dixie Longate is planning her Tupperware Party for the Midwest again and took some time to talk to us about her creative food storage solutions. Dixie Longate, the fasttalking Tupperware Lady, packed up her catalogues, left her children in an Alabama trailer park and took Off-Broadway by storm. Now, Dixie travels to Des Moines, Iowa throwing her good ol’ fashioned Tupperware Parties filled with outrageously funny tales, heartfelt accounts, free giveaways, audience participation and the most fabulous assortment of Tupperware ever sold on a theater stage. Loaded with the most up-to-date products available for purchase, Ms. Longate became the #1 Tupperware seller in the U.S. and Canada, and she educates her guests on the many alternative uses she has discovered for her plastic products. I noticed when I was setting up this interview, the individual at Des Moines Performing Arts said that he loved your show, had seen it multiple times, and couldn’t wait to have you back in Des Moines. That’s so sweet of him—oh my lord, that’s so neighborly! I’ve been there twice actually,

I was there back in 2008 and it’s actually the very first city that I started the tour on. Then I came back a year and a half later, and did it again! Are you excited to be back in Iowa, and do you come here very often? I’ve only been there with the program, but I have so much fun and it’s so neighborly when I’m there. It seemed so nice and everything, and who doesn’t like good quality food storage solutions? So, when I come, of course everyone is getting excited that I am there! I come and we all have a good time and then people get Tupperware, because it’s around the holidays and they’re going to get nice gifts for people. It’s a winwin-win. You’re definitely at the right time for the holiday season here. People should definently put Tupperware on their lists of presents this year, don’t you think? Amen. What’s the best stuff on the planet? Everybody needs creative food storage! So, I’m here to give it to ya’ll—I mean I’m one woman, but I work real hard. Because I want to make sure people don’t have soggy

I won’t spoil it, I’ll surprise you…but we got some new crap for the holidays that will just make your jaw snap open like a junior prom date.

TTDIXIE cont’d page 19


The Fun Guide

NOVEMBER 2013

ACCESSline Page 11

Inside Out by Ellen Krug

Minnesota Nice

Two different blips on the radar screen of my life. One unfortunate takeaway. The first blip: lunch hour on August 14, 2013. I walked past the window display without focusing. A single word—”Jap”— leaped out. Grabbed, I stopped suddenly, retraced a half dozen steps, and peered. There it was. A poster-size page of the Minneapolis Star-Journal for August 14, 1945, on an easel, with the headline, “Truman Announces Jap Surrender.” “Jap.” It hit me like baseball bat. Disclosure: I have two daughters who are Korean adoptees. Second disclosure: I really like Asian people. Third disclosure: I understand that there are major issues between Asian cultures and peoples, and thus get it that one slur may not equate to the slur of another Asian community. Still. The easel and headline were housed in a skyway picture-frame shop in downtown Minneapolis. I passed this shop every day on my lunch hour for almost two years. Last Christmas, I bought some delightful picture-word montages from there. Who got those montages? My Asian-born daughters. Thus, you have an idea of where I’m coming from. My appall from the “Jap” headline readily cemented, I entered the pictureframe shop and encountered the owner, someone in his late sixties or maybe early seventies. Here’s how it went: Me: “I’m sorry to say this but do you know that ‘Jap’ is a derogatory term? That many Asian people object to it? Store Owner: “Jap! Jap! Great word! My father served in the Navy in World War Two. Jap! Good word!” Me: “That’s horrible! I know you may not understand this, but ‘Jap’ is very offensive to many people.” Store Owner: “‘Jap!’ It’s a great word.” Me: “I’ll never buy another thing from your store again!” Store Owner: “Jap!” “Jap!” I turned and stormed out of the frame shop as the store owner hounded, “Jap! Jap.” I walked into that shop feeling of empathy and historical knowledge. By the time I was back on the skyway (seconds later), I only knew one thing. Racism. I moved to the Twin Cities in early

2010 believing this was a place of great diversity. I came with hope, energy and innocence (yes, at age 53) dreaming to make my mark. Not long in, I began to realize this is among the most segregated and racist cities in the country. Yes. You read that right. The Minneapolis schools graduation rate for black African-American males is 40 percent. I’ll write it again. 40 percent!. That’s a figure worthy of third world nations. Maybe even fourth world, if such a phrase exists. In many places in this country, just that one statistic—a 40 percent graduation rate--would spark protests and write-in campaigns. People would be on TV calling for resignations. But not in the Twin Cities. I’m the co-chair of the Hennepin County Bar Association Diversity Committee, something that’s given me tremendous insight into the racial and ethnic disparities that plague the Twin Cities. For example, out of approximately 8500 lawyers in Minneapolis, less than 30 attorneys of color hold partnership positions. This is in a metropolitan area where minorities make up 37 percent of the population. What is it about this place that fosters intolerance? Or at the very least, a lack of inclusivity? I wish I knew. Some say it’s that “Minnesota Nice,” thing where Minnesotans alternate between passive/aggressiveness and restrict their socializing to people they knew in second grade. There’s a saying: “A Minnesotan will be happy to give you directions to anyplace but her house.” I think the racial/ethnic issues go deeper than that. Class, religion, ethnicity and skin color all factor in. There’s an incredibly small black middle class. Often, a person of color never sees another person of color in business meetings or social gatherings. All of this makes it easy for a shopkeeper to believe there’s nothing wrong with displaying a racial slur in his front window at lunchtime. Now for the other date that holds meaning here. On October 6, 2013, I was up before dawn to walk with my brother Mark to the start of a 15K race. The course took Mark and 15,000 other people from downtown

The Des Moines Chapter of Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays (PFLAG) will meet at 6:30 pm at the Unitarian Universalist Church, 1800 Bell Avenue Des Moines, IA 50315 on the third Tuesday of every month. The meeting begins with a short business meeting followed by an educa-

tional presentation, and a social and support session. All are welcome! Made up of parents, families, friends, and straight allies uniting with lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people, PFLAG is committed to advancing equality through its mission of support, education and advocacy.

There’s a saying: “A Minnesotan will be happy to give you directions to anyplace but her house.”

PFLAG - Des Moines Chapter Meeting

Minneapolis to the statehouse in downtown St. Paul. After cheering Mark as his flight started, I drove to St. Paul to await him and his fellow runners. I got there early, and stood 100 yards from the finish line, where I took in the scene. Not far from me, a group of musicians wearing red Target Corporation jackets played Dixieland tunes. Families held homemade signs. The scene was festive; applause and the sound of cowbells (also courtesy of Target) greeted the runners. As the runners appeared, there was one or two, then clumps of four or five, and finally waves of runners. They were young, some old, many male, a fair number, women. And almost everyone was lily white. The absence of racial diversity among the runners (and the crowd of their supporters) was so painfully obvious that I started to count the number of non-white runners. In fifteen minutes, I saw eight nonwhite faces. I readily admit that I’m not a demographer, nor do I know anything about the runner culture (maybe it only attracts white people?). Yet, in a metropolitan area where more than one in three people is of color, common sense suggests that something—some unspoken rule or social contract—accounts for the lack of diversity at such a highly public event. One last thought. It’s not that the

Ellie Krug is a columnist and the author of Getting to Ellen: A Memoir about Love, Honesty and Gender Change. She resides in Minneapolis and welcomes your comments at ellenkrugwriter@gmail.com. Visit her blog at GettingToEllen.com. Twin Cities can’t embrace diversity— heck, LGBT people hold many high profile corporate and government jobs. In barely six months, the state—led by the Twin Cities—defeated a proposed anti-LGBT marriage amendment to the state constitution, only to then turn around and vote in gay marriage. For some reason, though, race and ethnicity are more difficult. Until we figure out why that’s the case, I suspect a certain shopkeeper with keep hauling out an old newspaper headline on V-J Day.


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Wired This Way by Rachel Eliason Internet Cleaning We all know the old adage that most homophobes are closeted homosexuals themselves. If we didn’t have enough examples here is one more. Conservative federal judge William H. Pryor was involved in a scandal recently when allegations emerged that he had once posed for gay porn. Pictures from the early eighties of what appears to be a young Bill Pryor were posted on a gay porn site Badpuppy. Given that Pryor rose to prominence during the Bush administration as an outspoken opponent of LGBT rights, this would be a pretty damning scandal if it is true. One “safe for work” picture is available on the Bilerico blog, beside a picture of Pryor from roughly the same time period so you can judge for yourself. While I don’t have a gay porn past, the article got me to thinking about doing an online cleaning job, scrubbing some old profiles and updating some others. We have a concept of “spring cleaning”—doing a deep clean of our house at least once a year. In the digital age we should probably have a similar concept of cleaning up our internet presence. Why clean up your online presence? There are five reasons to undertake such a cleanse, two of which are exactly opposite. We should check periodically that stuff we want kept is, in fact, being kept. Cloud storage and other online storage sites are a great way to back up our information, as long as the company actually keeps the data. As companies get bought out, go out of business or change their policies there is always a risk our data won’t get transferred. Yahoo recently began to “recycle” inactive accounts. If you have any emails, attachments, etc. stored on yahoo mail

and you haven’t checked in within the last year…that data may already be gone. We should also make sure that stuff we don’t want is actually being deleted. If you have an android Smartphone all of your pictures are automatically backed up on Google plus. It’s a handy feature for the pictures you want to save. But what about all those pictures you would rather not keep? They are there, even that one naughty picture you texted that hottie and then promptly deleted from your phone. What’s wrong with leaving old information up on the web? As anyone who has used Facebook knows, websites change their privacy policies from time to time. You might want to check in occasionally to make sure data and pictures you set to “private” are still private. This brings us to the fourth reason you might want to clean up your little corner of the internet, reputation management. You might not have a speckled past as a porn star (though I won’t judge if you do) but we all have embarrassing things out there we would rather not have the entire world see. This aspect of internet cleaning is particularly important if you are making a big life change. For example if you are graduating college and starting to look for a job in corporate America, now is the time to go through your Facebook feed and untag yourself from all those party pictures. Employers can and do perform internet searches on job applicants and you need to be mindful of what they will find. If you’re are starting a career in politics you might want to go through any old blogs you

have and delete poorly worded rants that could be used against you. The final reason for doing a good internet cleansing is safety. If you want to keep your personal data private you need to make sure all the sites that have your data are doing just that. Hackers often mine data from multiple sites and they can come up with a surprisingly accurate profile of us from that data. For example a hacker might look at our public profile for names of children and/or pets. They use these tidbits to challenge our security questions on email or other websites (which is why you should never use your pet’s name as a security question.). How often should you clean up your online presence? I would say bare minimum you should do this once a year. If your online presence is part of your business, you should do it more often. If your online presence is critical to what you do (politics for instance) then you probably already have people monitoring your online life daily. But the average Joe that doesn’t have much online can probably get away with once a year. If you are at one of those big transitional points in your life it might be time to do an extra deep cleanse. I have already mentioned college graduates. Most prospective employers do online searches on job applicants and you want to make sure they don’t see something that closes the door for you. If you are about to make the big plunge with that special someone, it might be time to close out all those old dating site accounts. You get the picture. How do you clean your online pres-

preserves the high nutrient levels until consumption. Moreover, frozen fruits and vegetables also tend to be much cheaper. So really, it’s a win-win situation.

Fahrenheit rather than 91 degrees. The speed at which you swim or run also has a big influence. As does any incline you might experience during your run. In other words, it’s not that simple. However, there are a few things that are quite definitive. Swimming is low-impact, and so it’s a great option for people with joint issues. Swimming will also give your upper a body a good endurance workout (running does not), assuming that’s something you want. When it comes to calories burned, running does come out on top–but again, it depends on all those previously mentioned variables. Here are some general guidelines for a 155-lb individual who is exercising for 30 minutes: Moderate intensity swimming: 214 calories Running at 5mph: 298 calories Vigorous swimming: 344 calories Running at 10mph: 632 calories If you can hold a 10mph pace, then running is advantageous from a purely caloric perspective. But if you run at 5pmh and can swim at a vigorous pace, then swimming could be a better choice for burning calories and getting your heart pumping. Personally, my favorite cardio workout

They are there, even that one naughty picture you texted that hottie and then promptly deleted from your phone.

Honor Your Body, Honor You by Davey Wavey Is Fresh Produce Healthier?

Fresh sounds better than frozen, but is it necessarily true when it comes to fruits and vegetables? Two separate UK studies were commissioned and carried out by Leatherhead Food Research and the University of Chester. In both studies, researchers examined key nutrient levels three days after storage. In other words, if you pick up fresh and frozen broccoli on Monday, how do the two compare on Thursday? Will the fresh or frozen broccoli be healthier? After 40 different tests, researchers concluded that nutrient levels were higher in frozen fruits and vegetables 66% of the time. According to researchers, the nutrient levels in fresh produce decreased during storage—especially in the softer fruits. This decrease wasn’t seen in corresponding frozen fruits and vegetables, disproving the myth that fresh food products are always nutritionally superior. At the very least, frozen produce is nutritionally comparable to fresh produce. And it makes sense. Frozen produce is picked at the peak of freshness and then flash frozen. This process locks in and

What’s Better: Swimming or Running?

Dear Davey, I’m trying to get in better shape, and I was wondering which gives you a better cardio workout—swimming or running? Thanks, Luis Hey Luis, First of all, both swimming and running provide great workouts. And either is better than sitting on your butt watching television. However, there are some pretty big differences between the two types of cardio. It’s important to note that comparing running to swimming can be a lot like comparing apples to oranges. They’re both very different–and the effectiveness of either workout can depend on a number of variables. For example, a University of Florida study found that swimmers burn 44% more calories when a pool is heated to 68 degrees

Rachel Eliason is a forty two year old Transsexual woman. She was given her first computer, a Commodore Vic-20 when she was twelve and she has been fascinated by technology ever since. In the thirty years since that first computer she has watched in awe as the Internet has transformed the LGBT community. In addition to her column, Rachel has published a collection of short stories, Tales the Wind Told Me and is currently working on her debut novel, Run, Clarissa, Run. Rachel can be found all over the web, including on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and Goodreads. ence? The first step in cleaning up our online persona is to find out what’s out there. We can do this by Googling ourselves. A busy H.R. representative will likely only look through four or five pages, so that’s as far as the average person needs to go. This should also reveal enough to know if an identity thief is using your name and data to mimic you online. For a deeper look you might want to search many pages, use several different search engines and even search for variations on your name or other personal data.

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Davey Wavey is an AFPA certified personal trainer shares his passion for and knowledge of fitness, exercise, health and nutrition with the world. For more information go to DaveyWaveyFitness.com. is high intensity interval training wherein I alternate between jogging and sprinting for a set duration. It provides a ton of amazing benefits; it doesn’t take a lot of time, minimizes muscle mass loss and provides a huge metabolic boost that you won’t get from steady-pace cardio. But at the end of the day, the best form of cardio is the cardio that you’ll stick with. Find what works for you!


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Bisschopswijn Recipes No matter what it’s called, folks have sipped this hot, spiced drink for centuries in Europe during the holidays and wintertime months. Today, the spices used in mulled wine are finding a new home in apple cider and fruit juices, making this a treat for the whole family. Whether you’re decorating your Christmas tree or simply sitting in front of your fire on a cold evening, grab a mug and enjoy.

Apple Pie Shots

• 1 quart Everclear • 1 gallon apple Juice • 1 gallon apple cider • ¼ cup Bisschopswijn - Mulled Wine & Cider Spices • 4 cups sugar Place Bisschopswijn spices in a muslin steeping bag or large tea ball. Mix apple juice, apple cider, sugar, and cinnamon sticks together in a large pan or stock pot. Boil for a few minutes until the spices fully flavor the liquids. Add Everclear. Refrigerate.

Non-Alcoholic Recipe • 32oz. cranberry juice • 24oz. apple cider • ¼ cup light brown sugar • 1 oz. (generous 1/4 cup) Bisschopswijn Mulled Wine and Cider Spices Stove Top or Crock Pot Method Combine the cranberry juice and apple cider in a large crock pot or large sauce pan. Add the brown sugar and stir until it is dissolved. Place Bisschopswijn spices in the muslin bag* provided. Close the bag by pulling the strings and tying them into a bow. Place the bag of spices into the juice mixture. Cover the crock pot or sauce pan and heat the mixture until hot over a medium setting on your crock pot or medium heat on your stove top. Do not boil. Reduce the temperature to low and simmer for 30-60 minutes. Stir occasionally to make sure the brown sugar has dissolved completely. Taste the Bisschopswijn occasionally. Remove the spice bag when the desired amount of “spice” is reached. Ladle the hot Bisschopswijn into mugs and serve with a Cinnamon Stir Stick. Makes seven 8 ounce cups.

Pumpkin Cake Cookies • ¾ cup brown sugar • ¼ cup margarine • ¾ cup cooked or canned pumpkin • 1 egg • 1 ¼ cup flour • ½ teaspoon baking powder • ¼ teaspoon baking soda

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WIRED Google has a new feature that allows you to search by images which can reveal if someone has stolen your profile picture to create new accounts online. Typically the first few hits on a name search will be social media sites, Facebook, Google plus, twitter and LinkedIn. This is good news. Those accounts will like be yours. That puts you in control. If you see information you do not want shared you can go to those accounts and change the settings. You can delete unflattering photos, update profiles or delete the entire

• 1 teaspoon ground Bisschopswijn - Mulled Wine & Cider Spices • 1/8 teaspoon salt • 1/8 teaspoon grated nutmeg Cream the sugar and margarine until light and fluffy. Add the pumpkin and egg, beat well. Add the remaining ingredients, mix well. Drop spoonfuls on a greased cookie sheet. Flatten each spoonful slightly. Bake at 350 degrees for 15-18 minutes or until slightly brown. Cool on a wire rack.

Carrot Cake (Vegan) • 2 cups carrots - finely grated, firmly packed in cups • 1 large orange - juiced • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract • ¼ cups olive or canola oil • ½ cups agave nectar • ½ cups molasses • ½ cups crushed pineapple - drained • 1 cup unbleached flour • 1½ cups whole wheat pastry flour • 2 teaspoons baking soda • 1 ½ teaspoons ground Bisschopswijn Mulled Wine & Cider Spices • ¾ cup walnuts - chopped Pre-heat oven to 300 degrees. Stir together the carrots and all the wet ingredients until well mixed. Stir together all the dry ingredients until well blended. Add the walnuts to the dry ingredients. Blend the wet and dry mixes just until mixed. Spray an eight inch spring form pan with oil spray. Pour batter into the pan. Bake on a cookie sheet for 50 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Remove from oven, cool slightly, and then remove the spring form pan. Cool and serve.

Cream Cheese Frosting • 8oz cream cheese, softened but still cool • 5 tablespoons butter, softened but still cool • 1 tablespoon sour cream • ½ teaspoon vanilla • 1 ¼ cup powdered sugar With an electric mixer, whip at medium speed the cream cheese, butter, sour cream and vanilla until smooth. Scrape down the bowl in order to make sure all ingredients are mixed. Add the sugar ¼ cup at a time while running the mixer on low. When all the sugar has been added, whip the mixture at high speed until light, fluffy and smooth. For more information on this Iowa business go to Bisschopswijn.com or find them on Facebook at Bisschopswijn - Mulled Wine & Cider Spices.

account. Can’t remember the account password? There’s usually a button for that. Is someone using your name and picture for a fake account? Facebook has a report button. I can’t guarantee they will take it down but it’s worth a try. Job hunters should pay particular attention to LinkedIn. LinkedIn is a professional social media site. If you are job hunting you should not only have a LinkedIn profile, the skills and interest listed on that profile should match your resume. Sometimes you find stuff that is posted on websites that are beyond your control.

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Iowa’s Gay Weddings by Scott Stevens

The one thing that can make a break your dream reception is the caterer. So how do you ensure the caterer that you picked will be the perfect fit? Asking the right questions will ensure you have the perfect spread at your reception. Here are a few questions you should ask your caterers before signing on the dotted line. 1) Do you offer alternatives for vegan or vegetarians? Make sure they serve the food you like and that it meets your guests’ dietary needs. 2) What is the cost for a tasting? Many caterers offer a free tasting. Others charge for a tasting then credit the tasting charge to your total catering bill if you go with them. 3) How will you handle last-minute requests? When Uncle Eddie and his 5 kids pull up in their RV unannounced how will they handle it? 4) Will you be there? Make sure that the person you have been working with will be at your event. 5) What’s included in your per-person price? Is it just food and beverages or will it include wait-staff tables and linens? 6) What’s the difference between a gratuity and a service charge? Service

Scott Stevens owner/operator of Iowa’s Gay Wedding Planner.com charges are for fuel, overhead, and supplies. Gratuity is to tip the serving staff. Most couples give 15 to 20 percent of the total bill. Your wedding planner can tip them out at the end of the night. 7) Have you worked at the venue in the past? Make sure your caterer knows the location and how it is managed. Then put them in touch with the venues manager so they can work out the details.

Wisconsin’s same-sex couples need the domestic partnership registry— it provides limited but important protections in a state that has banned marriage for same-sex couples. The Wisconsin Court of Appeals rejected the plaintiffs’ arguments as ‘nonsense,’ and nothing has changed. ~ Katie Belanger, President and CEO of Fair Wisconsin

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SCHOLL awesome. I feel like I have to set an example in a way. I like to go by “Mizter.” I made it up myself. I’m more male than female, but I’m not scared to feel feminine. Before I came out as Trans I came out as a fake lesbian because it was more generally acceptable. Everyone would make the joke that I was a she/he. I kind of knew I was always masculine, but didn’t know the name for it. I’d horse around with the guys. I’d rip Barbie heads off, all the stereotypes. One day I just looked up “lesbian, gay” on Google, and on Google’s auto complete saw “transgender” at the end. I just clicked it. I was like, whoa, it’s kind of like me. I was thinking how to tell my mom, which was really stupid because I wrote it on a to-do list. My sister saw it. Then my mom said she wanted to see me on the patio. Why are serious discussions always outside? I told her, “I want to be a boy, just so you know,” then I walked back inside, and she started freaking out. When I first told my mom I liked girls, she told me I was a disappointment. That was one of the worst things. But I told her “You’re my mom, you’re supposed to love me no matter what.” It worked. In all honesty, now my mom’s been pretty accepting. I didn’t know if it would seep through. I can probably go on hormones. Seeing as how she’s my only

parent, I think she’s done really well. My parents have been divorcing for the past two years. My dad has a frontal lobe brain injury from a car accident when I was two. That kind of f*cked sh*t up. His thinking processes are very, very, very slow. It’s put a big, big drift between his and my relationship. And my mom tried being with him, but he wasn’t the same since the accident. Their divorce was kind of a bummer, but it was kind of a relief. Me and my brother and sister were like, finally. It’s a lot better now. My concept of relationships is very negative. I call them relationsh*ts. My experiences with relationships have never been good. With every relationship I’ve ever been in I let myself go. At the end of the relationship I was the one who got screwed over. It’s about time I focus on myself. I want to build more muscle. I’ve thought about modeling—alternative modeling, for people who have piercings and tattoos. I’ve thought about animation and graphic design. I really, really, love to draw. I’m a comic book fanatic. I like to sing even though I suck at it. I love music, just in general. I listen to a lot of Lady Gaga. Her music is very inspirational. She and Adam Lambert really helped me come out. If Lady Gaga could do that, and if a gay guy could strut on the street, I can too. We Are the Youth is a photographic journalism project chronicling the individual stories of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth in the United States. To tell your story, email hello@wearetheyouth.org.

I like to go by “Mizter.” I made it up myself. I’m more male than female, but I’m not scared to feel feminine.

I.C. Kings Fall Back to the 90s Iowa City, Iowa


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319 Drag Kings Halloween Show Cedar Rapids, Iowa

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DIXIE lettuce and cucumbers that aren’t erect and firm. I’m here to give, I am a giver—I can’t help it! I know you are one of the top sellers of Tupperware. Do you have an estimate of how much you’ve sold since you started? Oh lord, I don’t even know! I’ve been selling for twelve years and I know I have sold well over a million dollars, if you can imagine. That’s a lot of bowls… holy crap I’ve sold a lot—it’s more than you can shake a stick at! Have you ever shaken a stick? It just doesn’t

do anything. I don’t know where that phrase comes from…don’t shake a stick, do something more important in the afternoon—like have a margarita! Do you have any more advice? A secret to your great sales? For me, I’ve thought that you got to make a party fun. When I come in, I want to make sure everyone is having a good time. Tupperware has been around for 65 years, it’s going to sell itself! So, my thing is make sure everybody is having fun, everybody’s drinking, everyone is being friendly with one another, and the party is going to explode and be a good time. Now some people think that selling

Tupperware is a step backwards for women? How do you feel about it? Oh my lord, I want to beat somebody with a stick. This was started 65 years ago by a woman named Brownie Wise, and it was after the war effort with everyone working on the war and being “Rosie the Riveter”. When that was done, it was the one thing that people were able to go, “I still need to make a living, still going to need to feed my family”. It was one job that could have that would make a good income doing it. It freed some of the ladies up, from having no jobs at all and being sequestered back into the kitchen, or well I guess I will just be a secretary. It gave women opportunity to reach up and reach further, to be a member of their community and be there for their family. I think it always has been a great step forward. Do you think it’s also something that women have embraced because Tupperware sales have this kind of glam appeal? Absolutely. How the hell doesn’t anyone want to go to a party? I think that’s the greatest thing about it. All these ladies for 65 years have been going into people’s homes, why? Because they want to have a party. I go to the Jubilee the big Tupperware convention every year, and I see all these ladies from all over the country being recognized for all their great sales. Being up on stage and putting on their designer suits—I get to do this—it’s like our own little Academy Awards, it’s so fun! That’s something that you wouldn’t ordinarily do—just sitting around the house picking your butt—this is something you do because

you were in Tupperware. Now is there something new that we’re going to see when you come to Iowa in December? Or something you’re excited about? Oh there is always new crap, that’s the thing about Tupperware—it keeps re-inventing itself. I won’t spoil it, I’ll surprise you… but we got some new crap for the holidays that will just make your jaw snap open like a junior prom date. You’re going to be so excited what you see some of this stuff, that I’m going to talk about it at the party. And, of course I look better than ever. I am going to wearing a new outfit for the holiday season and making sure I’m getting all dolled up, you know like you do. I’m not going to spoil all the surprises, you’re going to see some great crap, and don’t you worry about a thing. Was there anything else you wanted to say? The one thing that people always say is, “It seems like it is just for the ladies.” I got to tell ya, the parties are not just for your lady friends, it’s for the men friends, and it’s for the couples — tell everybody to come out! You just want to have a good time laughing your butt off, or do something with your in-laws that come in for the holidays, well, come on out to a Tupperware party. You’re going to have more fun, I swear to god, and when you go and laugh your butt off, you’re going to have less of a butt! Which means you can eat more and fit into them jeans for the holidays. For more information and tickets go to DesMoinesPerformingArts.org.


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The Bookworm Sez by Terri Schlichenmeyer “Drama High: The Incredible True Story of a Brilliant Teacher, a Struggling Town, and the Magic of Theatre” by Michael Sokolove, c.2013, Riverhead Books, $27.95 / $29.50 Canada, 352 pages Sometimes, you just don’t feel like yourself. Lately, for instance, you’ve been acting differently and people have noticed. You wear outfits you wouldn’t normally wear and you say the oddest things. It’s almost like you’re possessed by another person. Such is the life of an actor in a play: to do it right, to convince an audience, you have to become someone you’re not. You know the pressure can be enormous, so read “Drama High” by Michael Sokolove, and then imagine performing with New York theatre executives in the audience. Like most schools, Harry S Truman High School in Levittown, Pennsylvania, had its budget slashed last year. Gone are extravagances, extracurriculars, and extraneous activities. But teacher Lou Volpe’s theatre classes survived the cuts, just like they had for some forty years. Volpe hadn’t intended on becoming Truman High’s drama teacher; in fact, before he was hired, he’d had zero experience with theatre. None at all. But, as he did many other times (and like many other teachers), he threw himself into making Truman’s students into a firstclass troupe. Michael Sokolove, one of Volpe’s students back in the 1970s, remembered the way Volpe had of finding one special, latent talent that each of his students had, and highlighting it. Volpe urged his students, stood up for them, supported them, and expanded their horizons,

Across

1 Caesar’s admission of orgasm? 5 Big bangs 10 “Hamlet” quintet 14 Angers 15 Annoy during a blow job? 16 Peter Pan’s foe 17 Start of a quip about why lovers who move in no longer have sex 19 It comes before date? 20 Margaret Mead Made Me Gay author Newton 21 He did Jackie’s clothes 23 Holiday’s “___ Bless the Child” 24 Giant table 26 Male-on-male kissing target of Bugs 28 More of the quip 32 Dam agcy. 34 Something to build on 35 Triangular desert 36 Train track 38 Streisand’s Prince of Tides costar 41 Poet Teasdale 42 Laura of ER 44 It follows Mardi Gras 46 South Beach souvenir 47 More of the quip 51 Bridge bid, briefly 52 “No ___, no foul” 53 “The Simpsons” storekeeper 55 Some of Sappho’s vowels 57 Firenze’s land 61 South Park composer Shaiman 63 End of the quip

making them want more from life. Sokolove remembered spaghetti suppers at Volpe’s house, and never wanting to disappoint his teacher. But he also remembered the town in which Truman High sat. Once a subdivision of the future, Levittown was the kind of place people moved away from, and hard times only made it worse. Still, Volpe and his drama students made their school proud through firstclass, competition-winning, Broadwayquality plays–but not of the Arsenic and Old Lace ilk. No, Volpe liked to push his students to the edge of their comfort zones, asking them to sing and act in ways they didn’t think they could, making them become people they didn’t think they’d ever be– both personally, and on-stage. And in doing so, Volpe changed their lives. Like any good actor, “Drama High” plays several roles. For adults, it’s definitely a book of nostalgia. Like many people, author Michael Sokolove moved away from Levittown, and his trip back is filled with wistfulness and eagerness to see how time alters old memories. For students–

especially those who are struggling or who harbor a secret love of theatre–and for their parents, Volpe’s story offers strength and an urge to commit to ones’ heart. His students spurned sports in favor of stage and in turn, he supported their dreams and nurtured their talents. Some of his former students, in fact, have become Emmy winners, entertainment executives, and Broadway actors. Despite that it occasionally shows a tone of despair, it’s hard not to cheer when you’ve got this story in your hands. I loved it, and I think that if you’re a Broadway fan, an actor, or a parent of either, you’ll sing the praises of “Drama High,” too.

that goes either way? Q-PUZZLE: Don’t Have a Cow78 Guy Composer Gustav

65 Go, to the dogs 66 Lincoln Center’s Walter ___ Theater 67 Brother of Jermaine 68 Bars for gay chefs 69 Cut leaves of grass, marginally 70 Obey the red light

Down 1 Tarzan’s transport 2 Boy who shoots off arrows 3 Candace Gingrich’s half-brother 4 Atlas strips 5 Hairy guy’s hide? 6 Morsel for a mare

9 Remington ___ 10 Palindromistís exclamation 11 Gather at the Cathedral of Hope 12 The Tin Man’s best friend 13 TV listings 18 Drag spikes 22 FBI workers, slangily 25 Memo start 27 Some of Mary’s lambs 28 Principal presentation for Stephen Pyles 29 Gent 30 Wang in fashion 31 Wolfson of Freedom to Marry 32 Chi-town’s paper 33 Weathercock 37 Clinton aide Panetta 39 Stage crew worker, briefly 40 Put into the backside? 43 Opponent of Tinkerbell 45 Rich cake 48 Uncut 49 Extended credit 50 Contents of a good head 53 What guns shoot off 54 Dancer Taylor 56 Deer guy 58 Brest milk 59 Keen on 60 Opposite a bottom 62 Margaret of this puzzle’s quip 64 It may be Sapphic

• SOLUTION ON PAGE 30


NOVEMBER 2013

The Fun Guide

ACCESSline Page 21 SScontinued from page 13

WIRED Internet Trolls and Cyber Bullies have been known to create entire websites devoted to people they hate. There are numerous websites where people can post names, pictures and stories about others. Don’tdatehim.com and don’tdatehimgirl. com were both created so women could report exes who cheated or treated them badly. Those websites have been taken down after numerous protests from guys who found themselves on the site and objected. Websites like People of Wal-Mart let users post embarrassing pictures of anyone online. If you find yourself featured on a website in an unflattering or negative light, you can always contact the webmaster and ask to have your photo or personal information removed. You shouldn’t expect too much. Photos taken in public are legally fair game. Reviews written by customers on Yelp, Goodreads or similar sites are often protected even when they are unfair or inaccurate. Cyber Bully websites are the hardest to deal with. The webmaster will in all likelihood be unsympathetic and legal action hard or impossible. Keep in mind that social media sites tend to rank high on searches. Sometimes the best way to deal with negative press online is to create more positive press. Instead of retreating or trying to fight the internet troll that has posted your name on negative sites, spend more time interacting positively on big sites like Facebook and Google plus. Create new accounts on Twitter, Tumblr or Blogspot. That’s what the pros do. And yes, there are professional online reputation management companies out there. There is even a hidden underworld of illicit reputation management, performing black ops on your online presence. Building a better presence online can drive a negative website lower on the search results. Since most people don’t search past the first few pages this quickly creates a feedback loop. The fewer people who see the negative result and follow the link, the farther down the search rank it goes. In fact when it comes to the internet sometimes the best response is no response. Different search engines use different algorithms to rank sites but links, keywords and number of hits figure in to all of them. Calling attention to negative press, writing blogs about it or sharing the link on social media sites only increase its rank. What else? You have cleaned up your social media sites, deleted accounts you don’t need anymore, and made sure the information and pictures are the face you want to present to the world. Now what? Do a little mental footwork. Do have an old email account you don’t use? Log in; make sure there is nothing important there. Delete the account or have it automatically re-routed to an account you do use. (Rerouting an email account is relatively easy but it varies for each service. Google can help you find tutorials.) Be especially careful with emails that are attached to other accounts, like bank accounts. If they get hacked your bank account could be at risk. Route everything important through active accounts and make sure they have strong passwords. Think back over other websites that require a log in. Are there old dating site profiles, a Grindr page or maybe an account on gay.com or alt.sex.com? Do you still use those sites? Do you want those pictures and information out there? If not, log back in and delete them. Taking some time to unsubscribe to mailing lists you never read can help reduce the amount of email you get. Check out online storage accounts and make sure the important things are safe and the trash is emptied. Many services like Google Drive or Dropbox have x number of gigs free. Cleaning out old pictures and unwanted documents can keep you below your limit. Is it really worth paying to store blurry pictures or notes you don’t need anymore? A regular cleanse of old accounts doesn’t just help you, it helps everyone. Yahoo started recycling inactive accounts for a reason; the good addresses were all taken. Instead of forcing new users to settle for increasingly complicated user names and email addresses, they decided to inactive accounts that hadn’t been used in over a year. Old email accounts are a godsend for spammers. People notice quickly when their primary email is compromised but accounts you rarely check could be spamming friends for months before you find out. So do us all a favor and clean up your portion of the internet.


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Section 3: Community

NOVEMBER 2013

FFBC: Brad Anderson by Bruce Carr ACCESSline & Blazing Saddle Ticket Give-Away

Our guest speaker on October 4, the First Friday of October, was Brad Anderson, a Democrat who last January announced his candidacy to become Iowa Secretary of State. Anderson, who lives in Beaverdale with his wife and children, partners with Brad Link and Chris Diebel in Link Strategies, a downtown management and political research firm which has worked for several successful campaigns including Sen. Tom Harkin, Reps. Bruce Braley and Dave Loebsack, Sens. Jeanne Shaheen of New Hampshire, Amy Klobuchar of Minnesota, Claire McCaskill of Missouri, and Rep. Gabrielle Giffords of Arizona. A graduate of the University of North Carolina where he studied political science and criminal justice, Brad grew up in a Republican family and never really picked his own side of the political aisle until he finally hit upon on the mantra that has guided him to this day: Fairness. “That’s the one thing that drives me more than anything else,” Anderson has said. “In college I learned how lucky I was and how many breaks I had been given. It was all about getting to know people with different backgrounds from me. It crystallized in me that some of those people needed an advocate, and I realized the Democratic Party really represented

what I believed in.” Anderson’s first political campaign after graduation was as a researcher for John Edwards’s U.S. Senate bid in 1998. Those winning coattails suddenly provided Anderson with “all sorts of opportunities” in the political world. Some dozenplus years later, he found himself in Iowa working for President Obama’s re-election effort, to dovetail effectively with downballot Congressional and state Legislative races. His role as communications director during Obama’s 2008 Iowa campaign had convinced him that the Democrats’ overall team concept could be improved upon. So he emphasized a grassroots (rather than top-down) approach to inspiring volunteers. “I made sure that everyone was on the same page and crystal-clear in terms of goals and purpose,” Anderson said. “Then they could really take the reins on their own turf and devise their own tactics and strategies.” The result: 43,000 more Iowa votes for Obama in 2012 than in 2008. Democrats have said that a fundamental reason for Obama’s win was that they concentrated on encouraging more Iowans to participate in the election, while Republicans were driven by a need to weed out the voter rolls—and this became Anderson’s initial and continuing beef with Iowa Secretary of State Matt Shultz. “Throughout the course of the 2012 campaign the incumbent did his best to waste taxpayer dollars and intimidate Iowa voters,” Anderson said. “We fought back by working hard to build an organization that made calls, knocked on doors, and turned out Iowa voters in record numbers.” Voter fraud is practically a non-issue, Anderson continued. There are 681,000 eligible Iowa voters who did not vote in 2012. The biggest threat to the integrity of Iowa voting laws is the current Secretary of State. Anderson would instead devote his energies to improving the processes of county election boards with such aids as electronic poll books, and to more important Secretary-of-State responsibilities, such as better oversight of 28E agreements. Brad can be reached at AndersonForIowa.com.

Prime Timers of Central Iowa, a social organization for mature gay/bi men, in its first year has grown to a paid membership of over 60 members. A new chapter is starting in Omaha and possibly Lincoln in Nebraska, and another has been started recently in Eau Claire, WI. Prime Timers of Central Iowa held its first annual Halloween party October 26th in the home of two of our members. Prizes were awarded in various categories. Several Prime Timers joined the party from Omaha where efforts are being made to start a new chapter. The Prime Timers World Wide convention was held in Columbus, OH in October. It was a great time to meet old friends and

make new ones. The next World Wide convention will be held in Las Vegas in 2015. At the convention Dr. Loren A Olson, was elected secretary of Prime Timers World Wide. A regional gathering of Prime Timers will be held in Chicago in July, 2014. Several Prime Timers are planning on taking the train from Osceola, IA to Chicago to attend, so the party can start here in Iowa! The hotel is within walking distance of Union Station and near down town. The Chicago Prime Timers are working hard to make this an enjoyable event. Find out more information about Prime Timers on Facebook or email PrimeTimersIowa@gmail.com.

Brad Anderson

Voter Turn-out vs. Voter Suppression

It crystallized in me that some of those people needed an advocate, and I realized the Democratic Party really represented what I believed in.

Prime Timers of Central Iowa

Ticket winners: Eric Skinne, James Palmer, and Lucas Storey. On Saturday, October 26th, ACCESSline and the Blazing Saddle came together and gave away tickets to a performance of “Red” at the Des Mooines Performing Arts. The ticket giveaway took place at the monthly Bingo at the Blazing Saddle. The winners were Eric Skinne, James Palmer, and Lucas Storey. Bingo was hosted bt Shelbi Anne Baker, the reigning Imeperial Court Empress. Matthew Millard did the calling. Along with Bingo several items were auctioned off and rounds of shots were frequently purchased, for the entire bar, all for a good cause. All proceeds from Bingo and the other activities

went to the food bank and reputable AIDS charities in Iowa. The atmosphere and patrons that participated in Bingo were relaxed and fun loving, mmany laughs were had. ACCESSline and Blazing Saddle will be teaming up againn on Tuesday, November 5th, to give away tickets to see YouTube Ukele sensation Jake Shimabukuro at Hoyt Sherman Place and again on Tuesday, November 19th, for a ticket giveaway to Disney Alice in Wonderland Jr at the Des Moines Community Playhouse. Be sure to be there for your chance to win these tickets.


NOVEMBER 2013

Section 3: Community

ACCESSline Page 23

From the Pastor’s Pen by Rev. Jonathan Page First v. Twenty-first Century Sexuality

Not long ago a distraught gay friend reached out to me. He had formed a close romantic attachment to an evangelical Christian. Sadly, their promising relationship was cut short because the evangelical could not justify his relationship in light of the New Testament texts that supposedly condemn homosexuality. Abruptly, the relationship ended, crushing the hopes of my good friend. I must confess that this really pissed me off. Here was a seemingly good relationship that had been dashed due to bad Biblical scholarship. There is much that could be said in response to this common evangelical reaction. Plenty of interpretations of the seven biblical texts that mention same-sex intercourse could justify my friend’s relationship. But more than anything else, this evangelical, and others like him, need to consider how vastly different our contemporary views on sex and sexuality are than those that existed in the First Century. Any contemporary sexual ethic, from any theological viewpoint, must wrestle with this reality. The best treatment I have read on First Century views on sexuality is found in Dale Martin’s brilliant work, The Corinthian Body, which examines how different ancient conceptions of the body underlie the key controversies of 1 Corinthians. In that letter, the apostle Paul chastises those in the church in Corinth, whom he calls the Strong, for their position on sex, table fellowship, the Eucharist, and a host of other issues. It is eyeopening to learn what the ancients thought about sex and the body and to consider the implications of those views for sexual ethics

today. According to First Century Greco-Roman medicine, the body maintained its health through a proper balance of heat-cold, moist-dry, and the four humors (blood, phlegm, yellow bile, and black bile). When an imbalance of these elements occurred, a person became sick, weak, or unstable. Either an excess or lack of water or spirit (pneuma in Greek) would also cause bodily symptoms. Sperm, which was assumed to be in both men and women, was a particularly potent distillation of the most powerful bodily fluids. People who were self-controlled could keep their sperm within themselves thus increasing their vitality. Many authors thought that periodic discharge was also healthy. It was nearly universally accepted, however, that too frequent discharge of sperm led someone to be weak and sickly from the ensuing imbalance in bodily fluids. The Apostle Paul appears to have had a distinctly different view of the body and, therefore, sex. Paul emphasized the dichotomy between sarx (flesh in English) and pneuma (spirit), pneuma here being a substance that gives the body its vital energy. In Paul’s view of the universe, the heavens were made of pneuma, and in the heavens there was no flesh. Flesh (sarx) was a source of corruption to the pneuma. When someone became a Christian, the pneuma of Christ transformed, and became a part of, the convert’s pneuma. Sexual immorality (porneia in Greek) was bad because it polluted the spirit (pneuma); it polluted that substance within you that was heavenly and gave you your vital energy.

Even sexual desire, because it is rooted in the flesh, could negatively affect the pneuma. Since the church shared the pnuema of Christ as one collective body, any potential pollutant within the church was a threat to the pneuma of Christ, which they all shared, and it therefore had to be expunged. The ideal for Paul was to eliminate sexual desire which, in turn, eliminated the risk of pollutant. If you cannot exercise enough selfcontrol to be celibate, you should get married to eliminate potentially harmful desire that caused you to burn with passion. In other words, the biggest risk for Paul was being horny because it polluted your spirit and, by extension, the spirit of Christ that you share. If you cannot eliminate being horny through self-control, get married. It is important to note two things at this point. First, procreation was not a concern for Paul since he expected the second coming imminently. Maintaining purity was essential so that you could share in the kingdom when Christ came. Second, contrary to some overly simplistic views on First Century Judaism, there were a range of views on sex and the body. Some groups, like the Essenes and certain so-called Gnostic groups, were even more ascetic and dualist in their worldview than Paul. Other Jewish groups were far less concerned about sex and sexual desire. It should not take long to realize that these two competing conceptions of the body and sexual desire bear no resemblance to contemporary views on sexuality. For Paul, same sex attraction, i.e. being gay, was the natural result of excessive sexual desire and caused, at least in part, by idolatry. No

condition such as HIV or a diagnosis of gender dysphoria or just for being LGBT. Insurers can no longer put a lifetime cap on coverage, even if you have a chronic medical condition like cancer, asthma or HIV. Undocumented immigrants are not eligible for the Affordable Care Act but may still qualify for local or state programs such as community and migrant health clinics, public hospitals, and specific public health services programs (treatment of communicable diseases like tuberculosis, HIV, or other STDs; immunizations). If you are transgender, you have the right to expect that your insurance will cover medical services for you that are covered for other people in your plan, including mammograms, Pap tests, prostate exams and probably hormone therapy. Some plans—but not all—may cover surgery related to gender transition. We will know more when the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) issues regulations in the coming months. Figuring out what coverage is available to you, what it costs, and whether you

are eligible for a federal subsidy has now been made easy – you can shop online or over the phone. You’ll find more information at Healthcare.gov, CuidadoDeSalud. gov, or by calling 800-318-2596. If you are a person living with HIV, you may want to consider contacting an AIDS service organization (ASO) in your area to obtain assistance in selecting the plan in your state best suited to people living with HIV. To find an ASO in your area, use the search engine available through POZ.com. Since the Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), if you are in a same-sex couple and got married in a state or country where it is legally recognized, you may apply for federal tax credits to subsidize the cost of your insurance on the same basis as all married couples. If you feel that you have been discriminated against or unfairly denied coverage based on your sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, or any disability including HIV, you have some options: You can appeal any decision through your insurance carrier or your state department of insurance. You can file a complaint through HHS’s

Here was a seemingly good relationship that had been dashed due to bad Biblical scholarship.

Ask Lambda Legal by Leslie Gabel Brett The Affordable Care Act & You

Dear Ask Lambda Legal, Q: I’m transgender and also have HIV, and am wondering if Obamacare is an option–I haven’t had health insurance in a long time. What does the law provide for people like me? A: Thanks to the Affordable Care Act, LGBT people and people living with HIV will have access to more affordable insurance coverage with no exclusions based on pre-existing conditions. And in many states, expansion of the Medicaid program will offer no-cost care to more people with very limited incomes. Here are a few important things you should know: Starting Oct. 1, 2013, there is a first-time open enrollment period of six months, through March 31, 2014. (Each year after that, there will be shorter open enrollment periods.) If you enroll, your new insurance coverage will begin as soon as Jan. 1, 2014. You cannot be denied health insurance or charged more for having a pre-existing

Insurers can no longer put a lifetime cap on coverage, even if you have a chronic medical condition like cancer, asthma or HIV.

FFBC member Jonathan Page is senior pastor of the Ames United Church of Christ, 217 6th Street, Ames, Iowa. Sunday service is at 10:45. He can be reached at jon@Amesucc.org. modern theorist on sexual orientation would affirm that logic. The notions of being sexually repressed or liberated would have meant nothing to Paul. Paul would have thought the notion of a healthy sexuality to be laughable. American Christians of all types rely on modern science and psychology in thinking through sexual relations whether they admit it or not. Given how alien First Century views on sexuality are from our own, at what point do evangelicals reconsider their views on sexual ethics? In particular, how many LGBT Christians must end their relationships in fits of self-loathing in the mistaken impression that they need to conform to the “true” Biblical views on sex? Thankfully, my friend has moved on from his disappointment over his ended relationship, but I do worry about his ex-boyfriend and others like him.

Director of Education and Public Affairs Office of Civil Rights. And you can contact Lambda Legal’s HelpDesk.


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Section 3: Community

NOVEMBER 2013

A Church Where Everyone Is Equal by Rev. Peter Trabaris Sense of Thanksgiving

As I write this article today, it is a magnificent fall day. The sun is shining and the temperature is just right. This day makes me feel alive and filled with possibility. I am praising everything, and everyone that life has to offer, and marveling at the beauty of God’s complete creation. My name is Peter Trabaris, and I am the Interim Pastor at Metropolitan Community Church of Central Iowa. You might have noticed in the October edition of ACCESSline our first article which spoke about the recent changes at MCC of Central Iowa. With this month’s edition I am beginning this series of columns to talk about the Metropolitan Community Church. In this series, I will begin talking both about MCC the denomination, as well as what MCC of Central Iowa is all about. During the month of November as a GLBTQ Community, along with our families, friends and allies we find ourselves being called into a sense of thanksgiving in two distinct and important ways. During the week of November 17 our community will come together for this year’s observance of the Transgender Day of Remembrance. At MCC of Central Iowa our primary observance will take place on Sunday November 17 during our 11 AM worship service. Everyone is invited to come and join with us as we honor and remember the folks who have been murdered over this last year, from around the world, for being either transgender or suspected of

being transgender. We especially invite our Transgender sisters and brothers to join with us. You are so important to who we are as a GLBTQ Community. The other way that we are brought together to share in a sense of thanksgiving, is of course the Thanksgiving Holiday. Here at MCC we will be having a special Thanksgiving Sunday, on Sunday, November 24. And everyone is invited to join us for that as well. We will be having a special Thanksgiving Lunch following church, so please let us know if you’re planning to attend at: 515-3937565. MCC, also known as The Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches, was founded in 1968 by the Rev. Troy Perry. Since that time MCC has sparked a spiritual revival and has been at the vanguard of civil and human rights movements by addressing issues such as racism, sexism, ageism, homophobia, transphobia, as well as other forms of oppression. MCC has been on the forefront in service to and advocacy for people living with HIV/AIDS, has been a leader in the struggle towards marriage equality in the United States and other

countries worldwide, and continues to be a powerful voice for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) equality and other human rights movements.1 MCC is the largest international organization for public education about homosexuality and Christianity, and currently exists in 40 countries around the world. In Iowa there are two MCC congregations at present: MCC of Central Iowa, located in Des Moines, and seeking to minister across Central Iowa; and the MCC of the Quad Cities currently located in Bettendorf Iowa, and serving communities in Eastern Iowa and Western Illinois. Both of our churches welcome everyone to come and worship with us. I first walked into an MCC congregation way back in 1980. I must admit that I really did not want to go. I had been raised in the Orthodox Church. The idea of going to any other kind of church seemed strange to me at the time. In fact, I only attended that first MCC Service because a friend dragged me into the church with him, literally. I found myself surrounded by people from every walk of life, from the streets, to the richest neighborhoods in town, dressed in every form of attire one could imagine, a few in full leather and not much else, quite a few in lace, and I barely knew what to do. I had never experienced anything like this before. The worship service was led by both men and women, the preacher was a woman, and I was more than just a fish out of water. When I left the church that evening I did not know what to make of the experience. But lying in bed later that evening, I realized something important; this had been the first time that I had ever been in a church and felt as though I was experiencing the teachings of Jesus coming to life. I have never forgotten that experience, and I have never left MCC. One of the things that I love about MCC is that I have never experienced anyone being turned away from the church, or from God, for any reason. In MCC, people are accepted just as they are. We believe that God loves everyone, and that God has

I found myself surrounded by people from every walk of life, from the streets, to the richest neighborhoods in town, dressed in every form of attire one could imagine, a few in full leather and not much else, quite a few in lace, and I barely knew what to do.

SScontinued from page 9

SHRINK RAP videos who always seem to loop the cum shots of their super heroes For older men sex drive, erectile firmness and ejaculatory volume do diminish. Sexual satisfaction remains rather constant, but I think it remains high only when the natural changes are understood by both members of a couple. Satisfying sex depends upon accepting the natural changes and refocusing on emotional intimacy as much as physical intimacy. Putting unrealistic expectations on your older partner about his erectile function can have just the opposite effect, causing him to lose his erection

Rev. Peter Trabaris, Interim Pastor, MCC of Central Iowa. Peter has served as the pastor of four MCC congregations in Illinois, and Iowa, and has functioned in denominational leadership, most recently serving the MCC North Central US Network. Peter has represented to the National Council of the Churches of Christ USA, and has served on the Executive Boards of the Church Federation of Greater Chicago, the Hyde-Park and Kenwood Interfaith Council, the Lakeview Overnight Shelter Board, and was the Co-Founder of the Northeast Lake County Clergy Network. Peter was an activist in the LGBTQ Community working for the Illinois Gay and Lesbian Student Caucus, the Illinois Gay and Lesbian Task Force, and the Helping Hands Outreach AIDS Ministry. Peter can be reached at: revpetert.mccciowa@aim.com and 515-393-7565. created everyone to be a special and unique and wonderful part of creation. The other thing that I love about MCC is that we are never settled with the status quo. We are always searching to find new and exciting ways of experiencing God. MCC doesn’t tell us who God is supposed to be; rather we are free to explore and to discover who God is in our lives. I think that it’s these two points combined that drives those of us who are part of MCC to bring people together as one human and holy family, and that continually spurs us onward to continually discover God, and the Christ anew. Having been raised in the traditional church, seeing its flaws, feeling its heavy hand, at its condemnation of myself as a gay man, and as someone who is multi-gender, and being told that I couldn’t know God, I get the importance of MCC personally. MCC

TTTRABARIS cont’d page 25

or with to avoid sex altogether. Masters and Johnson’s “sensate focus exercises” were nothing more than extended, nondemanding foreplay. Many gay men in intergenerational relationships say they aren’t terribly concerned about erections or ejaculation. Over and over I hear younger men who are attracted to older men say, “What I really want is to kiss and cuddle and to make love in slow time.” So, “Renouncing,” don’t sacrifice your sex drive and certainly don’t attribute the struggle you’re having entirely to your partner’s age. Work on those parts of your relationship where you may not be emotionally connected. Learn to enjoy sex in slow time.


NOVEMBER 2013 SScontinued from page 24

TRABARIS is a Judgment Free Zone. Over the years, this has allowed me to minister with folks who are GLBTQ and Heterosexual, young and old, and most importantly, to be there for folks when no one else would help them. I’ve never understood why some churches turn people away because they don’t agree with something they have done, or because of who they are. I’ve buried PWA’s back when no other church would. I’ve baptized children that no other church would. I’ve married couples that no other church would, either because they were same-sex, or from different religious backgrounds, or had been previously divorced. The people who choose to be part of MCC are people who start together from a point of full equality, and figure out how to help others get to that place. We aren’t arguing about who should be in, or what the acceptable limits of diversity are. This lets us really focus on faith, and on being

Section 3: Community the Prophetic Voice that we have been called to be. Besides, I get to meet all of God’s People. I get to discover God with them. And together, we get to build a new kind of church, with a new kind of Christian spirituality, that we can bring to the world and in doing so, help to make the world a little better. Here at MCC of Central Iowa we believe that the church is the place where we come together to learn, to grow, to remember our reason for being, and to find support from fellow journeyers, but that the church is only the beginning point. Our work is out in the world, where the people are at. We have a saying, it is, Transforming Ourselves as We Transform the World. At MCC of Central Iowa, our vision statement is: Seeking, Teaching and Living for Justice and Equality! And so we envision a church community that comes together to discover new ways to bring life to the teachings of Jesus, and to discover new and exciting ways to carry God’s joy out into the world. For example, one of the ministries we’re

trying to get off the ground is a music ministry. We want to build a community of musicians who will help us praise God in worship, but who don’t just play instruments, or sing in church on Sunday. Instead, these church musicians will also go out into the streets, maybe sometimes as flash mobs, to simply bring joy into the world and to improve the world a little bit by doing so. The work of the church, just as was the case with Jesus and the disciples, must stop being something for a chosen few, and instead become an expression of love at work in the world. Were also working to give birth to a ministry to the homeless of Central Iowa. Again, it’s about bringing the church to the world. At the same time, MCC is about helping the people of MCC, helping each of us, to really understand that God has called us to be a people who are capable of being a force for good in the world. Too often we modern people of faith feel dwarfed by the challenges surrounding us, but the truth is, when we join together with love in our

ACCESSline Page 25 hearts, which is the essence of God, then we are capable, together, of effecting much. And we can do this best as we break down the walls that divide us, focusing on the common spark of life, and goodness that we each possess; including breaking down the barriers that religion has built between the different faith systems of the globe. We believe that faith is not something to be touched only on Sunday, or when life is difficult, but every day and in every way. So Metropolitan Community Church seeks to bring together people from all walks of life who see and experience a world filled with new possibilities, and want to be a part of finding a new way. And we invite you to come and join with us. https://www.facebook.com/MCCofCentralIowa, https://sites.google.com/site/ mcccentraliowa/home, mcccentraliowa@ gmail.com, 515-393-7565 Source Used: 1. Metropolitan Community Churches, MCCChurch.org.

The Project of the Quad Cities New GOglbt Business Referral Group Founded in 1986, The Project of the Quad Cities is a non-profit HIV/STI/AIDS Service Organization that provides support to persons living with HIV/STI/AIDS as well as their families and friends in Iowa and Illinois. www.apqc4life.org Symptom Management Group—Every Wednesday from 1-2:30 pm Life Skills Group—Every other Wednesday from 10-11:30 am Coffee Hour—10-11:30 am on Wednesdays when the Life Skills Group does not meet; A relaxed and casual atmosphere Groups meet at our Moline office. We also offer free HIV testing Monday through Thursday from 9 am to 4 pm. For more information call Susie or Mollie at 309-762-5433

GOglbt is starting a new group of GLBT business owners or business professionals to meet twice monthly to support each other’s businesses by providing referrals. They will meet every other Thursday from 7:30am-8:30am at a TBD Wells Fargo sponsored location. Refreshments will be provided. Once they secure the location the meetings will start. Membership Fee is $50.00 and will include a business listing on the GOglbt.com website. To sign up to be a part of this group please call Tom Luke at 402-650-2917, or email him at tom@lukedirectmarketing.com. Just want to be listed in our Business Directory? For a $50 donation to GOglbt you can list your business or an allied GLBT business within the metro area. To be listed, simply send your business information to info@goglbt.com.


ACCESSline Page 26 DIRECTORY NOTICE

The ACCESSline community directory is updated each issue. LISTINGS ARE FREE but are limited by space. Free online listings are available at www.ACCESSlineAMERICA.com. Information about new listings must contain a phone number for publication and a contact (e-mail address, land address, or website) for our records. For more information or to provide corrections, please contact Editor@ACCESSlineAMERICA.com or call (712) 560-1807.

The ACCESSline is expanding our resource directory to include heartland resources outside of Iowa. Please bear with us as we continue improving our resource directory. NATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS

Breur Media Corporation : Website Consultation, Design, Programming, and Hosting. HIV and STD Testing Sites near You, including places where you can get tested for free: hivtest.org/ Crisis or Suicide National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: suicidepreventionlifeline.org Information on Mental Health National Alliance on Mental Illness: nami.org Counseling, Information and Resources about Sexual Orientation GLBT National Help Center: glnh.org or 1-888-843-4564 Information on Mental Health for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender nami.org Information on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Health, cdc.gov Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund 1133 15th Street NW, Suite 350, Washington, DC 20005, victoryfund.org 202-VICTORY [842-8679] Human Rights Campaign, National political organization, lobbies congress for lesbian & gay issues, political training state and local, hrc.org, 1-800-777-HRCF[4723] Lambda Legal Defense & Education Fund I I E. Adams, Suite 1008, Chicago, IL 60603 lambdalegal.org, 312-663-4413 Rivendell Media National Advertising 212-242-6863, sales@rivendellmedia.com National Gay & Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF) ngltf.org - taskforce.org 1325 Massachusetts Ave NW, Ste 600, Washington, DC, 20005 National Organization for Women (NOW) 733 15th ST NW, 2nd Floor Washington, DC 20005, now.org 202-628-8669 PFLAG National Offices 1133 15th Street NW, Suite 350, Washington, DC 20005, info@pflag.org - pflag.org, 202-4678180 The Trevor Lifeline |Crisis and suicide prevention lifeline for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth. (866) 4-U-TREVOR - (866) 488-7386 Open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. All calls are toll-free and confidential thetrevorproject.org/

IOWA ORGANIZATIONS

Diviners of God Support line for ex-Amish & ex-Mennonite. 402328-3229, evenings & afternoons. Equality Iowa P.O. Box 18, Indianola, IA 50125, equalityiowa. org - 515-537-3126 Faithful Voices Interfaith Alliance of Iowa’s marriage equality project. faithfulvoices.org Imperial Court of Iowa Non-profit fundraising & social, statewide organization with members from across the State of Iowa. PO Box 1491, Des Moines, IA 50306-1491 imperialcourtofiowa.org Iowa Chapter of the National Organization for Women (NOW) Janis Bowden, President, IA NOW janleebow@aol.com PO Box 41114, Des Moines, IA 503111

Section 3: Community Iowa Gay Rodeo Association (IAGRA) 921 Diagonal Rd, Malcom, IA 50157 polebender60@yahoo.com 641-990-1411 Iowa PFLAG (Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gay) State Council, PO Box 18, Indianola, IA 50125 http://community.pflag.org/Page. aspx?pid=194&srcid=-2 515-537-3126 or 641-583-2024 Iowa Pride Network 777 Third Street, Suite 312, Des Moines, Iowa 50309 - Iowapridenetwork.org, Executive Director: 515-471-8062, Outreach Coordinator: 515-471-8063 LGBT Youth in Iowa Schools Task Force PO Box 1997, Des Moines, 50306 515-243-1221 One Iowa 500 East Locust St, Ste 300, Des Moines, IA 50309 - 515-288-4019 - OneIowa.org The Quire Eastern Iowa’s GLBT chorus, thequire.org

NEBRASKA ORGANIZATIONS (LIST IN PROGRESS)

Citizens For Equal Protection-402-398-3027 1105 Howard St, Suite #2, Omaha, NE 68102. cfep-ne.org - info@cfep-ne.org The Imperial Court of Nebraska Meets the third Monday of Every month at the Rainbow Outreach Resource Center at 17th and Leavenworth in Omaha, NE. Meetings start at 6pm and are open to the public. PO Box 3772, Omaha, NE 68103 Nebraska AIDS Project Omaha Office (Home Office) 250 South 77th Street Suite A Omaha, NE 68114 (402) 552-9260 - Email us: info@nap.org (also serving Southwest Iowa)

AMES, IOWA

Collegiate United Methodist Church / Wesley Foundation 2622 Lincoln Way, Ames, IA 50014 School Year worship Sunday 8:30am, 11:00 am and 5:30 pm followed by fellowship, www.cwames.org or find us on facebook First United Methodist Church 516 Kellogg Ave, Ames, IA 50010, Contemporary worship Sat 5:30; Sun 8:30 & 11am acswebnetworks.com/firstunitedmcames/ 515232-2750 ISU LGBTA Alliance GLBT Support, Activism, Social Events, Newsletter - 515-344-4478 L East Student Office Space,2229 Lincoln Way, Ames, IA 50014-7163, alliance@iastate.edu - alliance.stuorg.iastate.edu Living with HIV Program, MICA 230 SE 16th Street, Ames, IA 50010, Ask for Helen (Director), 515-956-3333 ext. 106 or 800-890-8230 Lord of Life Lutheran - 515-233-2350 2126 Gable Lane, Ames 50014, Services Sundays at 9:00a.m.; Wed. 7:00pm. PFLAG Ames 420 Kellogg Ave. Ames IA 50010 2nd Tuesday, 7 pm, pflagames@yahoo.com or find us on facebook Romantics Pleasure Palace 117 Kellogg Street, Ames, IA 50010-3315 romantixonline.com 515-232-7717 United Church of Christ-Congregational 217 6th Street, Ames, Iowa, 50010, Sunday Continental Breakfast, 9:00am; Sunday School, 9:30am; Worship 10:45am. office@amesucc. org 515-232-9323 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Ames 1015 Hyland Ave. Summer services: 10:00 am, Sunday. Services 10 a.m. for the rest of the summer. Contact uufa@uufames.org and www. uufames.org or call 515-231-8150. Also, the email and website are uufa@ uufames.org and www.uufames.org Unity Church of Ames - unityofames.com 226 9th St, Ames, IA 50010-6210, Sunday service and Sunday school 10:30am. Wednesday mediation 6:30pm Daily dial-a-blessing 515-233-1613

ARNOLDS PARK, OKOBOJI, SPENCER, SPIRIT LAKE, IOWA

The Royal Wedding Chapel 504 Church Street, Royal, IA 51357 712-933-2223 TheRoyalWeddingChapel.com Wilson Resource Center An Iowa Great Lakes area gay-owned, nonprofit community based organization. PO Box 486, 597 W. Okoboji Rd., Arnolds Park IA 513310486 - 712-332-5043 F.JosephWilson@aol.com. wilsonresource.org

BURLINGTON, IOWA

Arrowhead Motel - arrowheadia.com 2520 Mount Pleasant St, Burlington, IA 526012118 - 319-752-6353

Faith Lutheran Church E L C A 3109 Sunnyside Ave, Burlington, IA 52601 HIV/AIDS Screening @ Des Moines County Health Department in Burlington, 522 N 3rd By appointment between 8:00am to 4:30 319-753-8217 Confidential RISQUES IV (adult store) 421 Dry Creek Ave, West Burlington, IA 52601 (319) 753-5455, Sun - Wed 8am-Midnight Thurs - Sat Open 24 Hours, LoversPlayground. com Steve’s Place 852 Washington St, Burlington, 319-754-5868 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship Services start at 10:30 am, 625 N 6th St, Burlington, IA 52601-5032, (319) 753-1895 uuburlington.org

CEDAR FALLS - WATERLOO, IOWA

Adult Cinema 315 E 4th St, Waterloo, IA 50703-4703, (319) 234-7459 Black Hawk Co. Health Department Free HIV testing (donations accepted); MW, 1:00pm to 3:00pm; Thurs, 1:00pm to 4:45pm, 1407 Independence Ave. (5th fl), Waterloo 50703, 319-291 -2413 Cedar AIDS Support System (CASS) Service, support groups & trained volunteers for persons with HIV/AIDS in Waterloo/CF call Elizabeth or Karla, 319-272-AIDS(2437). cvhospice@forbin.net Cedar Valley Counseling Services Promoting personal growth and development in a strengths-based environment, Joan E. Farstad, MA, Director. 319-240-4615, cvcounseling.com farstd@cvcounseling.com. Cedar Valley Episcopal Campus Ministry. In Lutheran Center, 2616 College St, Cedar Falls, IA - 319-415-5747, mcdinoiwa@aol.com, episcopalcampus.org Community AIDS Assistance Project (CAAP) - PO Box 36, Waterloo, IA 50704 LGBTA Support Group at Hawkeye Community College, Call Carol at 319-296-4014 or carol.hedberg@hawkeyecollege.edu Iowa Legal Aid Free civil legal service available to low income persons who qualify under income/asset guidelines. 607 Sycamore, #206, Waterloo, IA 50703 1-800-772-0039 or 319-235-7008 Kings & Queens 304 W. 4th St, Waterloo, IA, 319-232-3001 Romantix Waterloo (Adult Emporium) 1507 La Porte Rd, Waterloo, IA 50702 319-234-9340, romantixonline.com Stellas Guesthouse 324 Summit Ave, Waterloo, IA Private B&B, Overnight accommodations for adults only. 319-232-2122 St. Lukes Episcopal Church - 319-277-8520 2410 Melrose Dr, Cedar Falls, IA 50613 Services: Sunday 8:00 & 10:15, Thurs 11:30 st-lukes-episcopal.org St. Timothys United Methodist Church 3220 Terrace Drive, Cedar Falls, 50613 sttims-umc.org, 319-266-0464, info@sttimsumc-org, “Welcome of all persons, including those of all sexual orientations and gender identities.” Together For Youth 233 Vold Dr, Waterloo, IA 50703, TogetherForYouth.net 319-274-6768 UNI-LGBTA Alliance-Student Organization, 244A Bartlet Hall, University of Northern Iowa, Cedar Falls 50613 lgbta@uni.edu 319-222-0003 United Church of Christ Cedar Falls 9204 University Avenue, Cedar Falls 319-366-9686 Unitarian Universalist Society of Black Hawk County - 319-266-5640 3912 Cedar Heights Dr, Cedar Falls, IA

CEDAR RAPIDS/MARION, IOWA

Adult Shop 630 66th Ave SW, 319-362-4939 Adult Shop North 5539 Crane Lane, 319-294-5360 CRPrideFest (formerly Cedar Rapids Unity) Social activities, non-profit Pride festival organization. PO Box 1643 Cedar Rapids 52406-1643 - CRPrideFest.com Christ Episcopal Church “We have a place for you.” 220 40th Street NE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52404, 319-363-2029 ChristEpiscopal.org Belle’s Basix - 319-363-3194 Open 5pm to 2am M-F, Sat & Sun 3pm-2am 3916 1st Ave NE, Cedar Rapids Club CO2, A GLBTQA Nightclub, 616 2nd Ave SE, 319-365-0225, Open 7 days a week 4PM2AM, Happy hour from 4-8 pm, club-co2.com

Coe Alliance GLBTQ and straight students, staff and people from the community. Coe College, 1220 First Ave NE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52402. coealliance@ coe.edu or Erica Geers, faculty advisor at 319-861-6025 Community Health Free Clinic 947 14th Avenue SE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52401 319-363-0416 - communityhfc.org Free Medical Services provided for the uninsured and underserved patients of Cedar Rapids, Marion and the surrounding areas in Eastern Iowa. CSPS Legion Arts Contemporary Arts Center - 319-364-1580 1103 3rd St. SE, info@legionarts.org Diversity Focus, 222 2nd Street SE, Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52401, 319-363-3707, DiversityFocus.org, Lead in the promotion of diversity, cultural awareness, and inclusion in the Corridor community. Eden United Church of Christ 351 8th Ave SW, Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52404 (319) 362-7805 Sunday School 9am - Worship 10:15am Foundation 2 Crisis Counseling 24-hour telephone crisis counseling. f2crisis@aol.com or www.f2online.org 1540 2nd Ave. SE Cedar Rapids, IA 319-362-2174 or 800-332-4224 Linn County Public Health 501 13th NW, Free confidential HIV testing, 319-892-6000 Linn County Stonewall Democrats For more info, contact linnstonewall@ gmail.com People’s Church Unitarian Universalist A welcoming congregation. 4980 Gordon Ave NW, Cedar Rapids, IA, 11am Sunday. 319-3629827 - peoplesuu.org PFLAG CR, Linn Co and Beyond Support Group meets on the 4th Thursday at 7pm except for Nov Dec - call for details. 319431-0673, pflaglcb@gmail.com The Linn County Stonewall Democrats Meet 2nd Wednesdays, Blue Strawberry, 118 2nd St SE in Cedar Rapids, IA. Contact Harvey S. Ross, HRoss007@aol.com. Tri-ess, Iota Kappa Phi Chapter P.O. Box 8605, Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52408 We are a transgendered organization supporting crossdressers, their families, and friends. - riess.org, 319-390-6376, georgia523@yahoo. com - marlenemarschel@yahoo.com Unity Center of Cedar Rapids “A center of positive, practical Christianity.” 4980 Gordon NE, Cedar Rapids unitycr.org - (319) 393-5422

CLINTON, IOWA

18 and Beyond (aka ABC Books), 135 5th Ave South, 563-242-7687 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Clinton 309 30th Avenue North, Clinton, IA 52732 (563) 242-4972 - uuclinton.org, Sunday services at 10:30 (year-round), Where YOUR spiritual and ethical journey is welcome! Rev. Ruby Nancy, minister

COUNCIL BLUFFS, IOWA

Council Bluffs Community Alliance “…will promote the city of Council Bluffs as a developing gay, lesbian, bisexual & transgender family community, & to assure the equality of all Council Bluffs’ residents.” CouncilBluffsCommunityAlliance.org Council Bluffs NOW PO Box 3325, Omaha, NE 68103-0325 Romantix Council Bluffs (North) (Adult Emporium) 3216 1st Ave, Council Bluffs, IA   51501-3353-romantixonline.com-515-9559756 Romantix Council Bluffs (South) (Romantix After Dark) 50662 189th St, Council Bluffs, IA 51503 romantixonline.com, 712-366-1764

DECORAH, IOWA

Decorah Human Rights Commission Contact: City Clerk, 400 Clairborne Dr, Decorah, 563-382-3651, Meetings: First Tuesdays, 5:30pm Luther College Student Congregation Contact Office for College Ministry 700 College Dr, Decorah, IA 52101, 563-3871040. Luther College PRIDE-Diversity Center, 700 College Dr, Decorah, IA 52101 Contact Charles 563-210-6570 PFLAG Northeast IA (Waukon/Decorah) Meets 4th Monday of the month at 7 PM in Northeast Iowa Peace and Justice Center, 119 Winnebago St., Decorah. Contact Ellen C. at 563-380-4626. Unitarian Universalist Fellowship Meets alternating Sundays at 10:30am, Decorah Senior Center, 806 River St, Call Bill at 563382-3458.

NOVEMBER 2013 DES MOINES, IOWA

AIDS Project of Central Iowa Free HIV testing, prevention supplies, care services, food pantry, information. 711 E. 2nd, Des Moines, IA 50309, 515-284-0245 Blazing Saddle 416 E 5th St, Des Moines, IA theblazingsaddle.com - 515-246-1299 Buddies Corral 418 E 5th St, Des Moines, IA - 515-244-7140 Church of the Holy Spirit-MCC, Interim Pastor Peter Trabaris - Sunday service 11am at the 1st Christian Church, 2500 University (2nd floor chapel), Des Moines, IA, Facebook.com/ CHSMCC, chsmccdmia@aol.com, 515-2879787 Des Moines Diversity Chorus [A gay-friendly mixed chorus] Rehearsals on Mondays at 7 p.m. at Westminster Presbyterian Church, Beaver Ave. at Franklin St., Des Moines. All are welcome, no auditions. PO Box 65312, West Des Moines, IA 50265, Julie Murphy, Artistic Director jahmurphy@hotmail.com, 515-255-3576, desmoinesdiversitychorus.org Des Moines Gay Men’s Chorus 515-953-1540, 4126 Ingersoll Ave, Des Moines - administrator@dmgmc.org Des Moines Pride Center @ One Iowa (temporary location) 419 SW, 8th St., Des Moines, IA 50309 Family Practice Center - 515-953-7560 Safe, supportive LGBT health care. 200 Army Post Road, Ste 26, ppgi.org First Friday Breakfast Club Educational breakfast club for gay/bisexual men. Meets first Friday of each month. Contact Jonathan Wilson for meeting topic and place. 515-288-2500 info@ffbciowa.org ffbciowa.org First Unitarian Church 1800 Bell Avenue, Services Sundays at 9:30 & 11am - 515-244-8603, ucdsm.org Franklin Family Practice Dr. Joe Freund, MD 4908 Franklin Ave., Des Moines, IA 50310 515-280-4930, ucsinformation@ucsdsm.org, UCSOnline.org/FranklinFamilyPractice The Gallery (adult store) 1000 Cherry St, Des Moines, IA 50309-4227 - (515) 244-2916 Open 24 Hrs, LoversPlayground.com The Garden 112 SE 4th Des Moines, IA, 515-243-3965 Wed-Sun. 8pm-2am grdn.com Gay & Lesbian AA & AI-Anonymous Mon 7pm; Tue-Thu 6pm; Sat. 5:30pm, at Drake Ministries in Ed. Bldg. 28th & University Gay and Lesbian Issues Committee 4211 Grand Avenue, Level-3, Des Moines, IA 50312 - 515-277-1117 Lavender Victory Fund Financial assistance for women in need for medical emergencies. lavendervf@aol.com Le Boi Bar 508 Indianola Rd, Des Moines, IA Liberty Gifts 333 E. Grand Ave, Loft 105, Des Moines, IA Gay owned specialty clothing, jewelry, home decor. 515-508-0825 MINX Show Palace - 515-266-2744 1510 NE Broadway, Des Moines, IA 50313 North Star Gay Rodeo Association of IGRA, Iowa Division of North Star, NSGRA@NSGRA. org or 612-82-RODEO Primary Health Care Inc., David Yurdin, 2353 SE 14th St., Des Moines, 503020, Works with GLBT ages 16 to geriatric, 25 years of experience. 515-248-1427 Rainbow Union, Drake University ru@drake.edu PFLAG Des Moines - 515-243-0313 1300 Locust , Des Moines, IA 50312 Plymouth Congregational UCC Church and the Plymouth GLBT Community 4126 Ingersoll Ave. 515-255-3149 Services at 9am & I lam Sunday. PlymouthGLBT.com Polk County Health Department Free STD, HIV, and Hepatitis B & C testing. HIV. Rapid testing also offered. 1907 Carpenter, Des Moines, IA, 515-286-3798. Pride Alliance, AIB College of Business Gay and straight students celebrating diversity. Contact: Mike Smith, Advisor, PrideAlliance@aib.edu - aib.edu/pride Pride Bowling League for GLBT & Supporters - Every Wednesday, 7 PM, Air Lanes Bowling Center 4200 Fleur Drive, Des Moines, IA 503212389. Email pridebowlingleague@gmail.com or 515-447-2977. Raccoon River Resort Accommodations for men, women, or mixed in campgrounds, lodge, Teepees or Treehouses. Reservations: 515-996-2829 or 515-279-7312

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DIRECTORY

Ritual Café - ritualcafe.com On 13th between Grand and Locust. Gay owned, great music, awesome food & coffee. 515-288-4872 ritualcafe@aol.com Romantix North Des Moines Iowa (Bachelor’s Library) 2020 E Euclid Ave, Des Moines, IA 50317, romantixonline.com 515266-7992 Spouses of Lesbians & Gays Support group for spouses of gays and lesbians. 515-277-7754 St. John’s Lutheran Church 600 6th Ave “A Church for All People.” Services Sat 5pm, Sun 7:45, 8:45 & 11am. See web page for other services. 515-243-7691 - StJohnsDSM.org TransformationsIOWA Meets every Wednesday at 7pm, 2nd saturday of each month at 1pm at OneIowa, 419 SW 8th St, Des Moines, IA. For more information email sophia.transformations@gmail.com or call 515-288-4019 x200 Trinity United Methodist Church 1548 Eighth Street - 515-288-4056 Services Sundays 10am, trinityumcdm.org Urbandale UCC - An open & affirming congregation. 3530 70th St., Urbandale, IA 50322, 515-276-0625, urbucc.org Walnut Hills UMC Join us at 8:30 or 10:45am for Sunday worship. Sunday classes & group studies at 9:30am. 515-270-9226, 12321 Hickman Rd, Urbandale, IA 50323, whumc.org Westminster Presbyterian Church 4114 Allison Ave - WestPres.org Sunday services 8:45 and 11am. Of note is their GAY-LESBIAN-STRAIGHT AFFIRMATION GROUP, GLSA 515-274-1534 Women’s Culture Collective (WCC) A lesbian social group. Des Moines, IA iowawcc.org Word of God Ministries, Sunday service: 3:00pm, at 3120 E 24th Street, Des Moines, Iowa 50317, Gay, lesbian & straight affirmation 515-707-5947. Zanzibar’s Coffee Adventure Open daily. Gay-friendly, 515-244-7694 2723 Ingersoll, Des Moines, IA

DUBUQUE, IOWA

920 Main 920 Main St., Dubuque, Iowa 52001, Tue - Sat: 8:00 pm - 2:00 am, (563) 583-2121 or dbq. gaybar@hotmail.com Adult Warehouse - 563-588-9814 975 Jackson St, Dubuque, IA Dubuque Friends Worship Group (Quakers) Join us at an unprogrammed worship service on Sunday at 10am. Welcoming and Affirming, 563-582-9388 St. Mark’s Community Center, 1201 White Street, Dubuque, Iowa 52001 Rainbow Pride support and socialization group. For members of the LGBT+ community who want to expand their social circle, get support for LGBT specific issues, & help with advocacy. Meets Mondays at 1pm Hillcrest Wellness Center 225 W 6th St., Dubuque, IA 563-690-1239 PFLAG Dubuque/Tri-State Carnegie Stout Library, 3rd Floor Conference Room, 360 W. 11th St. 3rd Tuesday, 7pm 563-581-4606 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Dubuque - “The uncommon denomination.” general services at 10am. 1699 Iowa St, Dubuque, IA uuf-dbq.org 563-583-9910

ELKADER, IOWA

Bethany Church (ELCA) - 563-245-1856 307 3rd St. NE, Elkader, IA 52043 Inclusive. Welcoming. A ‘ReconcilingWorks’ congregation. www.bethanychurchelkader.org bethanychurch@alpinecom.net Schera’s Restaurant & Bar 107 S Main St, Elkader, IA 52043, Scheras.com, E-mail: info@scheras.com Fine dining featuring Algerian & American Cuisine. 563-245-1992

FORT DODGE, IOWA

Romantix Fort Dodge (Mini Cinema) Sun-Thu 10am-12am, Fri & Sat 10am-2am 15 N. 5th St, Fort Dodge, IA 50501-3801 RomantixOnline.com - 515-955-9756

GRINNELL, IOWA

Broadviewwildflowerseed.com, Broad View Wildflower Seed, 428 Hamilton Ave., Grinnell, Iowa 50112, Manager/Owner: John C., chicoski7@yahoo.com

Section 3: Community Saints Ephrem & Macrina Sunday services at 10am. (Affiliated with the Orthodox-Catholic Church of America.) Divine Liturgy is served Sundays during the College academic year 1:30 p.m., Herrick Chapel, Grinnell College Campus, 1226 Broad Street, Grinnell, IA, 641-236-0936 Stonewall Resource Center Open 4:30pm to 11:30pm, Sun through Thurs and by Appointment., Grinnell College, 1210 Park Street PO Box B-1, Grinnell, IA, 50112, srcenter@ grinnell.edu 641-269-3327 United Church of Christ-Congregational, ‘An open and affirming church.’ 902 Broad St, 641-236-3111

INDIANOLA, IOWA

Crossroads United Church of Christ (UCC) An Open & affirming congregation. Services: Sunday 10:30am, Summer worship: June, July, Aug, @ 9:30 am, worshiping in the Lounge at Smith Chapel, Simpson College, corner of Buxton and Clinton. Mailing address: P.O. Box 811, Indianola, IA 50125 515-961-9370. crossroadsucc.org

IOWA CITY, IOWA

AA (GLBT) 319-338-9111 Meetings Sundays 5 - 6pm at First Baptist Church, 500 North Clinton Street. For more info, call IC Intergroup Answering Service, Congregational Church UCC An Open and Affirming Congregation, Sunday Worship 10:15 a.m. 30 N Clinton St (across from Ul Pentacrest) 319-337-4301 - uiccic.org Counseling Clinic 319-354-6238 Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender sensitive and supportive counseling for individuals, couples, families and groups. Sliding Fee. 505 E Washington St., Iowa City, IA 52240 Counseling and Health Center Client-centered therapy. Les-Bi-Gay-Trans always welcome. 616 Bloomington St, Iowa City, IA - 319-337-1679 Crisis Center 319-351-0140 1121 Gilbert Ct, Iowa City, 52240 Emma Goldman Clinic 227 N. Dubuque St, Iowa City, IA 52245 319-337-2111or 1-800-848-7684. Faith United Church of Christ An open and affirming congregation. 1609 Deforest Street, Iowa City, 52240 Sunday Worship 9:30 AM 319-338-5238 bob.faithucc@g.com, faithucciowacity.org GLBTAU-U of lA Student support system and resource center, info, activism, events, and other community involvements. 203 IMU, University of IA, Iowa City, IA 522421317 - 319-335-3251 (voice mail) glbtau@uiowa.edu Hope United Methodist Church Worship Service at 9:30am. 2929 E. Court St., Iowa City, IA - Contact Rev. Sherry Lohman. 319-338-9865 Human Rights Commission (City of Iowa City Human Rights Commission) 319-356-5022; 391-356-5015; 319-356-5014 Fax 319-887-6213 humanrights@iowa-city.org ICARE (Iowa Center for AIDS Resources & Education) Practical & emotional support, youth programs, information, referrals and support groups. 319-338-2135 3211 E 1st Iowa City, IA 52240-4703 Iowa City Free Medical Clinic - 319-337-4459 Free & strictly confidential HIV Testing. 2440 Towncrest Dr Iowa City, Call for appointment Iowa City NOW PO Box 2944, Iowa City, IA 52244 Iowa Women’s Music Festival P.O. Box 3411, Iowa City, IA 52244 319-335-1486 Men Supporting Men 319-356-6038, Ext 2 HIV prevention program. Discussion Groups, Educational Series, Safer Sex Workshops, Book Club. Andy Weigel, email: aweigel@co.johnson. ia.us New Song Episcopal Church 912 20th Ave, Coralville, IA. Sunday services at 10am. Jennifer Masada, Jane Stewart, and John Greve. 319-351-3577 Pride Committee WRAC, 130 N Madison, Iowa City, IA 52242 Bridget Malone - 319-338-0512 Charles Howes - 319-335-1486 Romantix Iowa City - 319-351-9444 (Pleasure Palace I) 315 Kirkwood Ave, Iowa City, IA 52240-4722 - romantixonline.com Studio 13 13 S. Linn St. (in the Alley) Iowa City, IA Open 7pm ‘til 2am, daily 319-338-7145 U of I Lesbian, Gay & Bisexual Staff & Faculty Association, c/o WRAC, 130 N Madison, Iowa City, IA 52242, 319-335-1486

Unitarian Universalist Society of Iowa City Inclusive & free religious community nurturing intellectual & spiritual growth & fostering ethical & social responsibility. uusic.org 10 S. Gilbert, Iowa City, IA Sunday services: 9:30am & 11:15am. 319-337-3443 United Action for Youth (UAY) A GLBTQA youth group providing support and counseling for teenagers and young adults processing sexual identity issues. Meets Mondays 7-9pm at UAY 410 Iowa Ave. Iowa City, IA. 319-338-7518 or Teen Line, 319-338-0559. The Ursine Group Bear Events in the Midwest. PO Box 1143, Iowa City, IA 52244-1143 - 319-338-5810 Women’s Resource Action Center (WRAC) Leads & collaborates on projects that serve U of l and the greater community, offers social & support services, including LGBT Coming Out Group. University of Iowa, 130 N Madison, Iowa City, IA 52242 - 319-335-1486

MARSHALLTOWN, IOWA

Adult Odyssey (Adult Video Store) 907 Iowa Ave E - 641-752-6550 Domestic Violence Alternatives/ Sexual Assault Center, Inc., 132 W Main St. 24 hour Crisis Line: 641-753-3513 or (instate only) 800-779-3512

MASON CITY, IOWA

Cerro Gordo County Dept. of Public Health 22 N. Georgia Ave, Ste 300 Mason City, IA 50401. Free confidential AIDS testing. 641-4219321 PFLAG North Iowa Chapter 641-583-2848, pflagmcni@yahoo.com, Carlos O’Kelly’s Mexican Cafe @ 7 p.m. Wed.

MOUNT VERNON, IOWA

Alliance Cornell College 810 Commons Cir # 2035 - alliance@cornellcollege.edu - orgs.cornellcollege.edu/alliance/

NEVADA, IOWA

Carleton Family Medicine PLLC Accepting and Affirming Health Care Alison B. Carleton, MD, 1011 6th St., Nevada, IA 50201, 515-231-3159

PELLA, IOWA

Common Ground (Central College) Support group for GLBT students and allies. Contact: Oscar Reynaga, Modern Languages Associate & Common Ground Advisor, Central College, 812 University, Box 050, Pella, IA 50219, (641) 628-5253

QUAD CITIES, IOWA

AIDS Project Quad Cities Info, education & support. Davenport, IA 52804, www.apqc4life.org 319-762-LIFE Black Hawk College Unity Alliance Serving GLBT community at Black Hawk College. 6600 34th Ave, Rock Island, IL 309716-0542. Connections Nightclub 563-322-1121 822 W 2nd St, Davenport, IA 52802 DeLaCerda House 309-786-7386 Provides housing & supportive services, advocacy and referrals for people living with HIV/ AIDS. P.O. Box 4551, Rock Island, Il. 61201 Good Samaritan Free Clinic 309-797-4688 Provides free primary medical care to patients age 16-64 who are working but have no medical insurance. gsfc@mchsi.com 602 35th Ave, Moline, IL GoodSamaritanFreeClinic.org The Hole-In-The-Wall 309-289-2375 A Private Membership Men’s Club, Located 3 miles east of Galesburg, IL. just north of I-74 at Exit 51. HoleInTheWallMensClub.org Holy Spirit Catholic Faith Community Meets one weekend a month for mass. Please visit our web site: www.transformationalcatholicchurch.com for more information or call: 309-278-7909. Lucky Shamrock 313 20th St, Rock Island, IL - 309-788-7426 An Irish Pub open to all types. Mary’s On 2nd 563-884-8014 832 W. 2nd St. Davenport, IA MCC Quad Cities - Svcs Sun 11am, Bible study Wed 7pm 563-324-8281, 3019 N Tanglewood Chapel, 4250 Middle Rd., Bettendorf, IA 52722-5311 Men’s Coming Out/Being Out Group Meets 2nd & 4th Thursdays, 7pm. QCAD. outforgood@gmail.com 309-786-2580 PFLAG Quad Cities 563-285-4173 Eldridge United Methodist Church 604 S.2nd St., Eldridge 1st Monday, 6:30 pm Prism (Augustana College) 309-794-7406 Augustana Gay-Straight Alliance, Augustana Library - 639 38th St, Rock Island, IL, Contact Tom Bengston

Quad Citians Affirming Diversity (QCAD) Social & support groups for lesbian, bi, and gay teens, adults, friends & families; newsletter. 309-7862580 - Community Center located at 1608 2nd Ave, Rock Island. Quad Cities Pride Chorus (Call Don at 563-3240215) At the MCC Church in D’port, 7pm Wed. qcswede64@aol.com Rainbow Gifts www.rainbowgifts.net - 309-764-0559 T.R. Video Adult books & video, 3727 Hickory Grove Rd, Davenport, IA. 563-386-7914 Unitarian Universalist Congregation of the Quad Cities, Rev Jay Wolin, Sunday Service 11am - 563-359-0816 3707 Eastern Avenue, Davenport, IA 52807 Venus News (Adult) 902 W 3rd St, Davenport, IA. 563-322-7576

RED OAK, IOWA

First Congregational United Church of Christ (open and affirming) - 712-623-2794 608 E Reed St, Red Oak, IA 51566 Pastor John Chaplin redoakucc.org office@redoakucc.org

SHENANDOAH, IOWA

PFLAG Shenandoah 1002 South Elm Street - 712-246-2824

SIOUX CITY, IOWA

Am. Business & Professional Guild. Gay Businessmen. Meets last Sat. of the month; ABPG, P. O. BOX 72, Sioux City, 51102 abpguild@yahoo.com Grace United Methodist Church 1735 Morningside Avenue - 712-276-3452. Jones Street Station (Bar) 712-258-6922 412 Jones St., Nightly 6:00pm to 2:00am. Mayflower Congregational Church 1407 West 18th St - 712-258-8278. Morningside College Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Alliance Contact Professor Gail Dooley, Advisor Morningside College GSA. 1501 Morningside Ave, Sioux City, IA 51106-1717 dooley@morningside.edu - 712-274-5208 PFLAG Siouxland PO Box 1311, Sioux City, IA 51102 siouxlandPFLAG@aol.com Romantix Sioux City 712-277-8566 511 Pearl St, Sioux City, IA 51101-1217 St. Thomas Episcopal Church Service Sun 10:30am 406 12th St, Waverly, IA Rev Mary Christopher - 712-258-0141 Western Iowa Tech. GSA widemal@juno.com for info.

SIOUX FALLS, SOUTH DAKOTA

Center for Equality, PO box 2009 Sioux Falls, SD 57101-2009, 605-331-1153, centersforequalitysd.org PFLAG Sioux Falls Meetings 3rd Thursday from 7-9 pm at All Souls Unitarian (30th and Cliff) Sioux Falls, SD info@pflagsfsd.org,www.pflagsfsd.org Toppers, 1213 N Cliff Ave, Sioux Falls, SD 57103, (605) 339-7686, Su-Tu 7:00pm - Close : We-Sa 3:00pm - 2:00am, sdtoppers.com

WAVERLY, IOWA

Cedar Valley Episcopal Campus Ministry. 717 W. Bremer, (St. Andrew’s Episcopal) episcoplcampus.org - 319-415-5747 Gay, Lesbian Bisexual Student Alliance Wartburg College, Waverly, IA 50677. Contact Susan Vallem - 319-352-8250 St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church 717 W. Bremer. We welcome all to worship with us on Sunday at 10:30am. Bible discussion Wed. 6:45pm 319-352-1489 Rev. Maureen Doherty, Pastor

NEBRASKA (CONTENT IN PROGRESS) HASTINGS, NEBRASKA

PFLAG Hastings - pat@datacc.net

LINCOLN, NEBRASKA

Club Q Lincoln - 402-475-2269 226 South 9th St, Lincoln, NE 68508 Indigo Bridge Books The Creamery Building, 701 P St, Ste 102, Lincoln, NE 68508 - 402-477 7770 “Indigo Bridge Books strives to provide a solid, relevant Gender Studies section with a focus on LGBT titles. indigobridgebooks.com Nebraska AIDS Project (Lincoln Office) 1921 South 17th Street, Lincoln, NE 68502 (402) 476-7000 - nap.org OUTLinc - outlinc.org Bringing Lincoln’s LGBT Community Together Panic - 402-435-8764 200 S 18th St, Lincoln, NE 68508

ACCESSline Page 27 PFLAG Cornhusker Chapter PO Box 82034, Lincoln, NE 68501 Meetings 4th Tuesday, Unitarian Church of Lincoln, 6300 A St, 7-9pm pflagcornhusker.org PFLAG Helpline: 402-434-9880 - Confidential Support & Information - We’re Here For You ! Planned Parenthood of the Heartland Sexual and Reproductive Health Care, Transgender Care - (402) 441-3302 2246 O St, Lincoln, NE 68510 The Rainbow Clinic in the UNL Psychological Consultation Center “…a specialty outreach service to the GLBTQ community. Psychological services, including individual, couples & family therapy, are provided within the UNL Psychological Consultation Center by regular PCC staff…open year round; day & evening appointments available. $10 for intake & $25 for therapy sessions. Application can be made for reduced fees based on federal poverty guidelines. 325 Burnett Hall, Lincoln, NE 68588 402-472-2351 unl.edu/psypage/pcc/ Star City Pride starcitypride.org - info@starcitypride.org The Unitarian Church of Lincoln 6300 A Street, Lincoln, NE 68510-5097 (402) 483-2213 - unitarianlincoln.org Sunday from 10am to 11am

OMAHA, NEBRASKA

AIDS Interfaith Network 100 N. 62nd, Omaha, NE Call Br. Wm. Woeger, 402-558-3100 Citizens For Equal Protection-402-398-3027 1105 Howard St, Suite #2, Omaha, NE 68102. cfep-ne.org - info@cfep-ne.org DC’s Saloon - (western/levi/leather) The Midwest’s hottest GLBT Country & Dance Bar! 610 S 14th St, Omaha, NE, Open everyday 2pm-1am Front Runners/Front Walkers Walking/jogging club. P.O. Box 4583, Omaha, NE 68104, 402-804-8720, frontrunners.org GLBT Rainbow Outreach Omaha Serving GLBT community in eastern Nebraska and western Iowa. Also office for Imperial court of Nebraska. 1719 Leavenworth St, Omaha, NE, rocc.org - 402-341-0330 Greater Omaha GLBT Network - goglbt.org “…to advance growth & equality for its members, businesses & allies by providing educational, networking & community-building opportunities. Meetings 1st Thursday every month locations at a traveling location to see the community and be seen. For more info or to be included on the e-newsletter list, please email us at info@ goglbt.org. Heartland Gay Rodeo Association (HGRA) (Midwest Division of the International Gay Rodeo Association) PO Box 3354, Omaha, NE 68103, hgra.net - 402-203-4680, Serves Iowa and Nebraska Heartland Pride ”…to develop a high impact and relevant cultural festival & events annually that promotes equality & unity for the LGBTQ & Allies Communities of Western Iowa and Greater Nebraska. heartlandpride.org Imperial Court of Nebraska 402-556-9907 P.O. Box 3772, Omaha, NE 68103 Inclusive Life - inclusivelife.org “Religious and Non religious care, services and ceremonies for all!”, 105 S. 49 Street, Suite E, Omaha, NE 68132, (402) 575-7006, The Max 1417 Jackson at 15th, Omaha, NE 68102 6 bars in 1 - 402-346-4110 McLovin 1010 South 10 Street, Omaha, NE, 68108 info@mclovinstore.com, MclovingStore.com 402-915-4002, A store for men. MCC Omaha 819 South 22nd, Omaha, NE 68103, Sun 9:30AM & 11:15 AM. Wednesday “ReCharge” Worship, Wed 7pm - 402-345-2563 PFLAG Omaha Mead Hall, First United Methodist Church, 7020 Cass St. (Omaha), 2nd Thursday, 7, 6:30 Social, 402-291-6781 River City Gender Alliance Peer support, friendship, and understanding for crossdressers, transgenderists, and transsexuals. PO Box 4083 Omaha, NE 68104, 402-291-6781, info@rcga. us - rcga.us River City Mixed Chorus Gay/lesbian chorus, PO Box 3267, Omaha, NE 68103, Call Stan Brown, 402-341-7464 Tri-ess Chapter, Kappa Phi Lambda Chapter, Omaha, NE 68107, Transgendered organization supporting crossdressers, their families, and friends. tri-ess.org, 402-960-9696, Judy marlenemarschel@yahoo.com Youth Support Group for GLBT Youth 13-21, meets twice monthly. Omaha, NE - 402-291- 6781


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RED WING active in the climate that Lively helped to create. Eventually we won in the referenda vote but it was at an unimaginable cost. We cannot ignore the Scott Lively’s of the world. They are dangerous. I look forward to the trial; the first time the persecution of LGBT people is seen as a crime against humanity and the first time is the first Alien Tort Statute (ATS) case based on sexual orientation and gender identity. A Motion to Dismiss and a Motion to Amend and Certify Non-Final Order were denied. A scheduling conference is set for November 6. Scott Lively recently said: “As a longtime favorite target of extreme “gay” and leftist slander I have skin thicker than a rhinoceros and cannot be intimidated or manipulated by critics or the media.” I remember a time, more than twenty years ago when Lively had just begun his career as a bigot. He had just debated an elderly PFLAG Mom. Her name was Marge Work Lunan. She maintained her grace and civility throughout the public

debate. Lively exhibited none of those traits. As they were walking up a long flight of stairs, leaving the venue, Marge realized that Lively was right behind her. She turned so that she was face-to-face with Lively, blocking him from continuing up the stairs. She gave him a piece of her mind. As a mother, as a woman in her seventies who had faced much larger monsters than Scott Lively, she told him exactly what she thought of him. She scolded him, told him that he should be ashamed of himself. And reminded him that she had a beautiful gay son who was the light of her life and she loved him more than anything. For a moment, for just a moment, Scott Lively’s face just crumpled; he looked like a ten-year old who had been caught doing something very bad. Marge turned aside and let him walk by in his shame and guilt. We need to shine a light on people like Scott Lively and we need to understand how dangerous he is. Perhaps the courts will again do the right thing. Perhaps Scott Lively: preacher, author, rainbow-bomber and gubernatorial candidate will be found guilty of crimes against humanity.

PITCH Calendar

Positive Iowans Taking Charge (PITCH) is a volunteer-run non-profit organization, founded in 2007, their goal is to provide social networking and support to Iowans living with, or affected by, HIV/AIDS. Their mission is to create an atmosphere where HIV+ people can unite, advocate, and assist other HIV+ people for better health and wellness. More information can be found at pitchiowa.org or call Tami Haught at 641-715-4182. All of our meetings are open to the public at large. To hear what’s going on, please check out our calendar to see when the next PITCH meeting will be held. For more information go to www.PitchIowa.org.

Groups Des Moines Open Support Group 5pm-6pm (Wednesdays) Thursday Group 2pm-3pm (Thursdays) Waterloo PITCH Support Group 6pm-8pm (Every other week) Wednesday Evening Group 5:30pm-6:30pm (Every other week)

Support Group Meeting Conference Call Positive Iowans Taking Charge has a Conference Call Support Group meeting every month and it is open to those outside of Iowa. The meeting is to provide emotional, social, and educational opportunities for Iowans across the state. The Agenda is as follows: welcome and introduction from 7-7:30 PM, topic discussion from 7:30-8 PM,

non-topic time for everyone to share how they are doing from 8-8:30 PM. Times are adjusted depending on the needs of the people on the call. The number to call is 949-812-4500 and the Pin number is 684713 that everyone will use the same code. For more information go to pitchiowa.org or find them on facebook.

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NEWS was crowned homecoming queen, making her the first ever transgender homecoming queen for UNI.

Appeals Conviction of HIV-Positive Man to Iowa Supreme Court

Lambda Legal filed an appeal after Iowa Court of Appeals’ Oct. 2 decision upholding Rhoades’ conviction. The Iowa Supreme Court of the conviction of Nick Rhoades, an HIVpositive Iowan who was initially sentenced to 25 years in prison (and later reduced to 18 months) and required to register as a sex offender based on a one-time sexual encounter with another man during which they used a condom. “We’re asking the Iowa Supreme Court to review this case because the facts here don’t add up to a conviction. The Court of Appeals’ decision was based on a misinterpretation of the plain language of the statute, and we look forward to presenting the case to the state’s supreme court.” said Scott Schoettes, HIV Project Director for Lambda Legal. “A person who uses a condom and engages in safe sex, as Nick did, does not have the intent required to support a conviction under Iowa’s law addressing exposure to HIV.”

Gay Iowa Teen Starts Anti-Bullying Coalition

Jake Stallman of Tipton, Iowa received the Spirit of Matthew award from the Matthew Shepard Foundation for overcoming bullying and starting an anti-bullying coalition in his high school. Jake was on the receiving end of anti-gay bullying that escalated from teasing to death threats after he came out in the seventh grade. After Jake and his mother turned to the Matthew Shepard foundation, they invited him to blog for the foundation, in turn becoming a symbol and ally for other gay students in his school and his town. With his newfound confidence, Jake became the first male cheerleader in his high school’s history.

Gay Couple Dismissed at Grimes Wedding Venue

In August, a gay couple tried to sign up to

NOVEMBER 2013 have their wedding at the Gotz Haus Gallery in Grimes. Betty and Richard Odgaard explained that they welcome gays and lesbians to dine with them, buy from them, even work for them, but they’re against hosting a gay wedding.

Oklahoma woman denied driver’s license after

A woman legally married to another woman in Iowa is denied her driver’s license in Oklahoma. After getting her name changed on her social security card without any problem, Sara Doolin was turned away by two tag agencies. Doolin has to have a court order to change her name which takes time and money all because she’s married to a woman. Oklahoma doesn’t legally recognize their same sex marriage.

Missouri Representative anti-gay tweets

Rep. Kevin Elmer (R-Nixa) reportedly tweeted “Nixa Schools failure. HS students working elementary school book fair in gay [T]-shirts.” Attached to the tweet, which has since been deleted, was a picture of a teenage girl in a shirt featuring representations of gay and lesbian couples and the word “HARMONY.” Elmer had been at a book fair at his third-grade child’s school when he saw several teens wearing the shirts. He took issue with those garments being worn around young students, as he felt their message could interfere with his ability to parent on issues such as same-sex relationships.

Illinois Pastor Compares Same-sex Parents to ‘Fiveyear Olds Who Think They Can Drive Cars’

An Illinois pastor on his way to an antigay marriage protest in Springfield opted for offensive comparisons rather than rational thought. He assured the reporter that “Our nation is not built on the strength of its army or its finances, but what goes on in our living rooms, and family always has been and will always be the foundation and bedrock of society. And so we’re gonna stand for what God ordained; it’s one woman, one man. Every child needs a mom and a dad.” And then compares gay parents to “five-year-olds who think they can drive cars.”


NOVEMBER 2013

Section 3: Community

ACCESSline Page 29

An LGBT Garden in need of Help by John Clayton Broad View Wildflower Seed is a company that offers products and services to assist gardeners with native wildflowers and to promote wildlife. It is a gay owned and operated business that is committed to giving back to the community. One way they do that is to have their garden space available as a meeting place for LGBT groups and organizations. Broad View’s prairie garden is a garden space free without cost for GLBT members. The garden area serves a threefold purpose: To provide outdoor opportunities of a recreational nature in an atmosphere where friendships can develop and mature, and where our sense of self acceptance and dignity is affirmed. To provide a nature experience for good mental and physical health (note: for liability reasons a visit must be scheduled in advance).

To find within ourselves a place to feel free: free from fear of discrimination, free from shame, and free from judgment. Therefore, a place to celebrate our own selves amidst the bright rays of sun, many wildflowers and fluttering butterflies. We need $3200 dollars for the purchase of 10 truckloads of gravel to make a lane allowing access to the prairie garden by June of 2014. If you donate to this cause, you provide a solution so LGBT visitors can reach the garden area. A sign will be posted at the garden with your name and a ‘shout out’ will be given on Broad View Wildflower Seed’s web page. A set of four photos taken at the prairie garden

are emailed to you with our thanks for your support. The perks for contribution will vary based on amount donated and amount of perks available. Where do funds go if we don’t reach our entire goal? No funds are spent; no money is collected at all. The entire project does not occur; I can’t do it without this funding project. It is all or nothing; it is up to you. Yo u r s u p p o r t empowers a myriad of opportunities, such as; graying senior LGBT will benefit spiritually with a beautiful space for reconciliation and contemplation; a networking place to meet for fellowship beyond the meeting rooms of churches, restaurants, and coffee shops; and an outdoor place to walk in an exclusive LGBT designated garden. LGBT youth have a unique place to romp, meditate; and/or study various prairie plants and prairie life forms. A new place for LGBT to sing; play warrior Xena or if you’re into him, a Hercules; and enjoy a wild prairie environment. Through sixty years, I have witnessed and encountered the traumatic loss experienced at the hands of bigots and know how those painful memories can affect the lives of the LGBT community. The prairie garden is a healing place for me and a

I believe that this outdoor space is a place of spiritual joy and healing, not just for me, but for all LGBT individuals who come to this prairie garden.

happy joy to experience. I believe that this outdoor space is a place of spiritual joy and healing, not just for me, but for all LGBT individuals who come to this prairie garden. For that reason I offer this garden invitation to my LGBT community. I charge no entrance fee, but I do ask for advanced notice when visitors want to visit. To see more of the garden go to Broadviewwildflowerseed.com. For more information and to donate go to: IndieGoGo/projects/gravel-a-lane-toprairie-wildflowers.


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HEALTHCARE to provide transgender healthcare. Dr. Freund presents on the topic of LGBTQ healthcare across the U.S. and Canada and has been an invited speaker multiple times to the Annual Scientific Assembly for the American Academy of Family Physicians. Dr. Freund has been board certified in Iowa since 1985 and among his professional affiliations are American Academy of Family Physicians, American Medical Association, Iowa Academy of Family Physicians and more. He is a graduate of the University of Minnesota medical school and completed his residency at St. Joseph’s/Mercy in Mason City, Iowa. What are some common health concerns for transgender patients? The first thing is the same ordinary things that everyone else has, the same medical problems that we all experience. One of the biggest issues is access to medical care and insurance for most people. So, many people don’t even have access, or avoid care because they’re not sure how they’re going to be treated, or they’ve been treated badly in the past. I think that’s one of the biggest things is not the same level of health care that everyone else does. Especially with the transgender exclusion policy that are with the health insurance policies that are issued. Past that, things like hormones, needing to monitor the hormones, a lot of that too depends on risk factors. Like Trans people may smoke even more than the rest of the GLBT population. So, smoking is a huge risk with the things like lung problems, COPD, the cancers that go along with that, and another is the mental health issues. Again, Trans people are affected even more; it looks like, with things like depression, anxiety. Maybe traumatized some from post traumatic stress disorder—that’s another big thing, anxiety panic disorder. And then depending on where people are at, there are some places the Trans population has very high rates of HIV. Especially in some larger urban areas, maybe something like 35% of Trans women may be HIV positive. Some of these are due to like economic conditions, the stress of everything. Sometimes another thing to look for, just like in the rest of the GLBT population, is addiction issues. There could be chemical use issues there as well. Then we have to pay attention to what hormones people have been on, if

Section 3: Community they’re on them, and how that affects them. Typically, I keep an eye on things like, the liver, because the hormones can change or cause liver inflammation. Things like cholesterol—hormones, whether it is estrogen, or testosterone, can affect those. Sometimes, yes, it can actually improve it; testosterone can possibly make it a little bit worse. The testosterone can make the bone marrow make more red blood cells. So, we keep an eye on that—make sure that Trans men’s blood doesn’t get too thick. That would expose them to things like strokes, or blood clots, or heart problems. Testosterone can also do things like, increase the rates of diabetes. And also, heart disease and high blood pressure. Those are things to keep in mind. Like testosterone is the reason that men die younger than women typically You’ve touched on it a little bit, but can you go more into the biases that transgender patients can find in the healthcare system? That would probably be areas of improvement in healthcare approach. One example, one of the very first Trans women that I took care of came in so I could help her in transition, and I was the fifth physician that she had been to. And everyone else said, “We just don’t know how to do it. We don’t even know where to send you.” There has been little to no training through the whole medical education on what transgender is, let alone, what special issues there are in Trans healthcare. Number one, people that are providing the healthcare aren’t often aware or even know where to look for resources, and have had little training. The other thing is that some are just not set up for it either, look at most of the demographics, it just male or female. They just leave no option to identify yourself as a Trans man or woman, or even any “other” type. More people are identifying as not of the binary, but somewhere between the two. We really need to look at gender also as the full spectrum, not just the two ends, like we used to think about. People have been treated poorly in the past too—Trans people in the medical system. The providers may not be comfortable or may have some outright biases. But generally, I think it’s just a lack of awareness or training, so people just

aren’t sure how to approach things. One of the big things is that when someone is treated poorly, either been denied care or treated badly, then they avoid healthcare in the future, and then the problems that do develop, either aren’t attended to or prevented. Another is denial of healthcare based on insurance. Most insurance companies simply state no healthcare related to gender transition or sexual reassignment would be covered by this policy. People may have insurance, but their insurance may not even cover them. Sometimes it has even gone so far as insurance companies have denied care for other issues when it isn’t related to their transition. We’re really having an out and out discrimination towards Trans people. Another thing is, people have been caught in the fact that in our jobs is where our insurance has generally been coming from—primarily though our occupations. Some people may have a hard time holding a job or even getting a job. I have had patients that have had a difficult time finding a job after transition, or concerned about that. So, even getting the insurance or having the insurance denied is a biggie. With the Affordable Care Act and some of the healthcare reform that is coming very soon, you cannot deny anybody based on preexisting conditions, starting January 1st. And people will have access—they won’t have to have a job to get insurance. So, this is going to provide a real access point to a lot of people who simply haven’t been able to get insurance or afford it before. Plus, some of the financial considerations, assistance for people with low incomes. This should really help people to get insurance and get some usable insurance. Another thing is that, there is wording in the Affordable Care Act that prevents discrimination based on sex and gender, and the things I’ve seen so far; that includes genderizing. It still isn’t crystal clear, but we should not be able to deny healthcare based on something like gender identity. Now there is a pathway for people

We really need to look at gender also as the full spectrum, not just the two ends, like we used to think.

NOVEMBER 2013 to follow complaints with the insurance and address this point of discrimination, when healthcare insurance is denied. You do education and training in regards to LGBT healthcare? Yes, in fact I just did one a couple of weeks ago at the Academy of Family Physicians. I spent a good part of my lecture talking about transcare and giving people resources, where the physicians can go and find how do you do this, how you do that. There are some very good resources out there now. Next week I am going to be talking to the Iowa Academy of Family Physicians about GLBT healthcare. Transcare is important to me, because it really is something that family practice and primary care doctors can do. Because they’ve got all the same training, all the same medicines, we just use them in a little different way. The whole GLBT healthcare is just coming out, and especially from the changes that President Obama has recently made, they are being included in studies now—and now we can start sorting some of this stuff out. Of course with GLBT, the T is always sort of on the bottom of the list, it’s hard to get attention, and hopefully we’ll get some good things going on that as well. This lack of awareness throughout our whole society about what Trans is, I think if there is more visibility and more understanding on this, things will get better. I see some really neat things happening with the lesbian and bi youth coming out earlier, and Trans people are coming out earlier as well. Over time I look forward to when we can start identifying these kids when they’re younger, and then start working with them and their families to prevent them from having some of the problems or even having to go through the puberty that they don’t need. We’re not there yet, but Denmark has done some wonderful work on that. If we can identify those kids early, and work with them, and treat them apropaietly, the outcomes are just so much better. I think as we grow in our understanding of what Trans issues are—the care will be much better. For more information go to UCSonline. org/FranklinFamilyPractice.

ALPHAs

ALPHAs have a meet and greet every third (3rd) Friday of the month, held at Icon’s Martini Bar located at 124 18th Street in Rock Island. It’s a gathering for members of the LGBT community, supporters and friends to socialize, celebrate and get to know one another over martinis. Events are posted on Facebook at alphaselitecrew@ facebook.com or for more information contact alphaselite@yahoo.com.

It was not all that long ago—20 years maybe, certainly 30 years ago—where most Americans would tell you that they didn’t know anyone gay or lesbian…what they would have meant is that they didn’t know anyone who unashamedly and rather generously would let you know that they were a person in a same-gendered relationship. Now, is there a family living in America that doesn’t know some family member, some coworker or some former classmate who is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered? There are people going back to their 30th and 40th reunions…and their good old buddy Jack is now Jackie…So if it hasn’t happened to you yet, it will. It’s coming to a theater near you. ~Bishop Gene Robinson, religious spokesperson for gay rights and marriage equality.



The ACCESSline, The Heartland's LGBT+ Newspaper, November 2013, Volume 27, No. 11