Page 6

ACCESSline Page 6

Section 1: News & Politics

February 2010

Creep of the Week by D’Anne Witkowski Karl Rove

How long does a marriage have to last before it’s considered “traditional” to Karl Rove? Well, three years if you’re talking about his first marriage. Twenty-four if you’re talking about his second. Karl “ban-gay-marriage-for-politicalgain” Rove and his second wife have called it quits via the no-fault divorce laws of Texas. I know, it’s hard to believe, isn’t it? Not that Rove is a hypocrite when it comes to the “sanctity of marriage,” but that he was ever married at all. Who would do that to themselves? But as my dad used to say, “It takes all kinds.” And as long as those “all kinds” are heterosexual, they’re allowed to get married. And unmarried. And then married again. Rinse and repeat. Mind you, the majority of gays in this country can’t even get married once. Rove is, in part, to blame for that. Remember that rash of anti-gay marriage ballot initiatives in 2004? Rove’s seal of approval was all over that. Had to get those Jesus loving gay-hating folks to the polls to vote for Bush, after all. So why not bait the trap with gay folks? Rove is, of course, the man who argued that letting gays marry would be throwing away “5,000 years” of tradition. As Dan Savage commented, “Traditional marriage is for life. Which means Karl ... shouldn’t have been allowed to get out of [his marriage] alive, right?” Of course, I shouldn’t even be writing about Rove’s divorce, traditional or not. It’s

disrespectful. According to spokeswoman Dana Perino, “[Karl Rove and his wife, Darby] came to the decision mutually and amicably, and they maintain a close relationship and a strong friendship. There will be no further comment, and the family requests that its privacy be respected.” Of course, in order to respect someone’s privacy, you kinda have to respect them, and respect isn’t a word I associate with Karl Rove. “Revulsion,” is closer, tied with “resentment.” Don’t get me wrong. I understand Rove wanting privacy at this time. I mean, divorce is a sad and difficult thing. I hardly expect Rove to be holding press conferences or doing media junkets right now. But what I can’t do is respect his privacy. Because he has no respect for mine. As Joel Mathis wrote Dec. 29 on his Philadelphia Weekly blog, “Rove made a concerted effort to push the marriage status of hundreds of thousands of Americans to the center stage of the political process. He treated the issue like a political plaything. Which is easier to do when it’s an abstract notion. Only problem is: For each one of those couples, it’s not at all an abstract issue.” Indeed. And by using gays as a political football in order to get George W. Bush reelected, America was protected from what, exactly? What did America gain by denying so many gays and lesbians the right to marry—enshrining homophobia into state constitutions, no less? What, besides the

shittiest president we’ve ever had who left messes we’re all going to be cleaning up for decades if not lifetimes to come? Bush’s nickname for Rove, Turd Blossom, is more apt than he realizes.

Lisa Miller

When Lisa Miller left her partner Janet Jenkins and took their daughter Isabella with her, it was the Christian thing to do. Quite literally, since Miller denounced her former lesbianism and became a Christian—in Jerry Falwell’s church, no less. Miller doesn’t want anything to do with Jenkins and doesn’t want their daughter to have anything to do with Jenkins, either. And so Jenkins sued. And things got ugly and have been ugly for years as things so often are in custody battles. Except that this is no ordinary custody battle. Lisa Miller is, in many ways, a dream come true for the anti-gay right. She’s a fairly attractive ex-lesbian fighting in order to save her daughter from the evil forces of homosexuality. Needless to say, she has received a lot of high-publicity help from the anti-gay legal ranks, such as the Liberty Council. The case is complicated on so many levels. Miller and Jenkins did, after all, enter into a civil union in Vermont before they had Isabella. But when Miller left with Isabella, she went to Virginia, a state that does not recognize same-sex unions. There has been a court ordered custody agreement, but Miller has always defied it. She doesn’t want Isabella around Jenkins because Jenkins is gay and that is, after all, horrible and disgusting and evil and wrong and how can she teach these values to her daughter if Jenkins is in the picture? Tired of fucking around, a Vermont judge ruled in favor of Jenkins and ordered custody be relinquished by Miller on New Year’s Day. So on New Year’s Day, Miller showed up on Jenkins’s doorstep with Isabella and the two women hugged and said, “No hard feelings” and Isabella stood between them and smiled. Actually, Miller and Isabella never showed up. And nobody seems to know where they are. Her lawyers at the Liberty Council are mum. In fact, there was even a report that they were on vacation and couldn’t comment. Because, you know, a client skipping out on a court order and potentially fleeing with the child is no big thing. The saga has brought out the best and the brightest of the anti-gay brigade. National Organization for Marriage President Maggie Gallagher had particularly clarion insight on the matter. “Let this act as a warning call: Don’t enter civil unions with people if you do not want to give them legal rights over your children,” Gallagher said. Oh, OK. Got it. It’s much better to have children outside of pesky legal commitments like civil unions. But why stop there? Marriage, an institution open to everyone except gays, is an even bigger problem. Because having kids with someone you’re married to also creates a lot of legal headaches. And if you never get married, you don’t ever have to get divorced! Thanks, Maggie! As I’ve always said, a nation of bastard children is a nation of happy children.

Seriously, though. If Jenkins and Miller were a heterosexual couple, Miller wouldn’t have been able to just elbow Jenkins out of the picture so easily. Unless Jenkins was a danger to her child (she isn’t), she’d be allowed visitation if she were a dude and nobody would even be talking about this because it happens all the time. Ex-wives and ex-husbands do ugly things to each other and, far too often, kids are trapped in the middle of it all. Allowing gay and lesbian couples to legally marry helps protect the kids that exist in many of these relationships, which is something Miller and the anti-gay horde she has supporting her would acknowledge if they really wanted to “protect” marriage.

Hak-Shing William Tam

You know what? If Gay marriage is just a ploy to get child rape legalized then to hell with it. Can I get an Amen? No? OK, how about a WTF? This is one of the lunacy-based claims made by Hak-Shing William Tam, a defendant in the Proposition 8 lawsuit going on in California (the trial you’ve all been busy watching on television, right? Just kidding!). In a letter to Chinese-American church groups in California during the 2008 campaign, Tam wrote that once you let gay people marry each other, they’re going to go after kids next. “On their agenda list is: legalize having sex with children,” he wrote. In a January 14 blog post responding to Tan’s claims, Dan Savage wrote, “Because, you see, once same-sex marriage is legal then, um, good people everywhere who oppose the rape of children ... will be too busy 1. reeling from the shock (good straight people) and 2. planning their bachelor/bachelorette parties and registering at Macy’s (good gay people) to stop those all powerful radical gay child rape advocates from forcing the Legalize Child Rape Patriot Act through both houses of Congress.” Tan came to his bizarre conclusion after reading online about a gay rights meeting from 1972 where gays supposedly set their radical agenda for world gay domination in motion. Anti-gay folks love to hold it up as “proof.” Granted, the majority of gays and lesbians have probably never read this document, but the contents of it are hard wired in the gay brain at birth. Or something. I don’t know, I’m not a geneticist. Personal experience also shaped Tan’s views. In his deposition he said, “My daughter told me her classmates chose to become lesbians and experiment with it after they noticed that same-sex marriage, they think it is a cool thing.” Right. Nothing is cooler in junior high and high school than lesbianism. That’s why all the girls are dyking it out in an effort to become head cheerleader and homecoming queen. It’s just so easy to be gay in school. I feel sorry for all the straight girls who have to pretend, hanging posters of Melissa Etheridge in their lockers instead of Taylor Lautner. But that’s not all. He goes on to say, “They have some problem getting dates with boys, so same-sex marriage, since it is in the air, they think, ‘Oh, why not try girls.’”

TTCREEPS continued page 7

ACCESSline, Iowa's LGBT Newspaper, February 2010 Issue, Volume 24 No 2  

ACCESSlineIOWA - Iowa’s LGBT+ Newspaper. Gay and lesbian, bi, trans, and HIV+ news for Des Moines, Cedar Rapids, Iowa City, Waterloo/Cedar...