DOC in the house?
By dave solomon
Great Expectations
Let me share a dilemma that I face every shift that I work in the Emergency Room. Let’s start with a quiz to sort you folks out... Which is the emergency case? a. amputated limb b. sore throat for 2 weeks, no fever, taken no over the counter medications, eating and drinking fine ( this is NOT a trick question) If you answered a), we think alike. People...This is what I do and have been doing for a long time. My colleagues and I have literally seen everything, between us, and there are not too many surprises. Sure, we still see things that get us “excited” (a poor choice of words, BUT my professional excitement unfortunately comes at the expense of other people. Sort of like an executioner?? Poor choice of analogy), that will require us to brush up our physical or mental skills, but we can “sniff out” the sick, pretty well. That’s what makes our specialty unique. Now, here’s where the problem comes in. Everyone who shows up to the emergency department, thinks that they are an emergent case. They go to such lengths to be seen seen immediately for such complaints as : • I’ve had a headache for 2 years • I think I have a fever • I had abdominal pain... yesterday • I’m dizzy The list goes on and on and on...... What these people fail to realize, is that there are other people in the emergency room, alsowaiting to be seen. Who knows
what’s in the cubicle or room next door, and quite frankly its none of your business. But of course, “they’re not as sick as me”, and “ I need to be seen right away!!! I am an emergency case, and I have somewhere else I need to go to!!! DOCTOR!!!!!”. Listen up sunshine and listen well, for a little education..... That quiet elderly lady over there, she’s ill. Really ill. Notice, she’s not yelling? She cant, she doesn’t have the physical strength. She was just resuscitated. She almost died a few hours ago and still may die. Now, see that pale looking man in the corner?? He just received some “great” news- his daughter just died, his wife is in a coma, and he’s lucky to be alive. Trifecta bonus!!!!! Still feeling important? You still feel the need to act like a VIP? Shame on you!!!! My business it to seek out the ill, and take care of them first and foremost. This rule applies everywhere. Just because you came in on an ambulance, does not automatically qualify you to an exclusive front row seat in the emergency department. Those that do receive that dubious honor, probably don’t even want to be there. Just because you read WebMD - by the way, someone please hack that site or bring it down!! - or looked something up in wikipedia, does not qualify you to make executive health decisions at my level. Do you habitually explain the laws of the land to a lawyer or tell a chef how to better his meals?? (fast track to snot ending up in your Happy Meal). I doubt it, and those rules apply to us as well. We are medical professionals, and have trained very hard to get to the level we practice. The currency we deal in, is your life. The stakes are large and we are all very aware of that fact. This is our professional speciality. So, should you ever voluntarily end up in the emergency department, be realistic about what to expect from your visit with regards to your presenting ailment. And, if you’re nice, you might even get a work or school note (‘cause that’s why you came anyway, right? I’m not stupid...) 19