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I don’t know about anyone else but the recent cold weather was a shock to me. Every year I feel like it sneaks up on me, and despite living in Canada for most of my life I’m never really prepared for how cold fall can be. Not only that but October and November are generally absolute hell when it comes to assignments. On the bright side my birthday is coming up at the end of this month. So, for my birthday I am asking all of you dedicated and awesome readers to start submitting your work to absynthe. It’s incredibly important to our livelihood that students contribute. We cannot build this magazine without all of the creative students in this university putting themselves out there. There’s only two weeks left of regular classes, so try to keep your livers in working order while keeping your GPA at a personally appropriate point.

The mandate of Absynthe Magazine is to encourage constructive dialogue and critical thinking within the Trent community. As an on-campus publication, Absynthe shall strive to represent as many people of the community as possible by presenting varying views on all matters that are of importance to the community and especially the student body. In the spirit of free and independent press, Absynthe shall strive for the highest degree of journalistic integrity and excellence while providing a medium for creative and alternative expression. It will actively stimulate and concourage discussion through itself or any other means available to members of the Trent community.

Hey, you! Yeah, you!! You look like you’ve got some talent in you, kid. Submit your work to Absynthe Magazine!

Submission Guidelines Absynthe is a submissions-based magazine. Any Trent student who wishes to be published can send their work to us at Submissions can be any length, and can be written in any style. Submissions will be subject to editing for spelling and grammar as well as verified for appropriate content. Please include your name for publication. Photos and images are encouraged, but are required to have a minimum resolution of 300dpi. Articles may be held for publication at a later date.

Sam Laws Life is feeling a trifle mundane. I am eloquent with words, only when confined to thought. When these words are confessed, they trip over tongue and trachea, to fall cobwebbed on my lips. When I am asked about dysphoria, how do I describe that my skin conforms inaccurately to a frame with a crumbling structure? How do I speak of a voice that flows too cough-syrupy sweet when I wish for a lion’s roar? How can I adequately explain how it feels to envy the form of the opposite sex, all it takes to be, when my words fail me? How do I escape an illegitimate body and hardest yet, how do I confess?


also believed fiction would be more enjoyable to write

Not many men in the media strike me as self-aware.

LibraYou’re not going to be prepared, you’re going to forget the little (Sep 23 - Oct 22) Exams are pretty much going to suck for you.

knowledge you’d managed to stuff into your brain and you’re going to forget your pen/pencil/ calculator - anything useful. You should probably get to campus four hours before your final because the bus is going to be delayed. Get ready to fail.

23 - Nov 21) Nobody likes you, everybody hates you, you should go eat worms. Big Scorpio(Oct fat juicy ones, little slimy skinny ones, just hope they don’t have germs! 22 - Dec 21) What’s (Dec 22 - Jan 19) So Sagittarius(Nov that sound? Babies cry- Capricorn you’ve finally watched ing? That chick you’re sleeping with has a hankering for a wee one. Better not let her give you the condoms, or be sure to check for pin holes. Don’t want no baby mama drama!

20 - Feb 18) You’ve left Aquarius (aJangiant wave of heartache

behind you. Why? Because you’re a horrifying person. No ifs ands or buts. Don’t worry though, karma is on its way to find you. The next person you date will be the one who crushes you like an ant!


(Mar 21 - Apr 19) Some people call you neurotic, but you like to call yourself methodical. It’s totally fine - Dexter is methodical as well. Actually, you share a lot of the characteristics that he does.Hmmm. Maybe pay more attention to that “code” of yours...

every single Julia Roberts movie out there and have the entire collection in your living room. You’ve learned some valuable lessons, but mostly you’ve realized what a great idea it is to drop out of school, become a hooker and wait for Richard Gere to sweep you off of your feet. Go big or go home! Feb 19 - Mar 20) Your best Pisces (friend recently told you

about a weird sex dream they had about your parents and siblings. They keep refering to it as ‘50 shades of family’. You should probably reconsider that friendship.

- May 20) You’ve been having strange dreams lately that involve a squirrel and a can Taurus(ofAprwhip20cream. Don’t let others judge you for it, embrace your inner freak. Just make sure that no animals are harmed in the making of your fetish

21 - Jun 21) You should probably just sleep with the person you’re interested in. Gemini(May Seriously. Just walk up to them and say “ wanna have sex”. They won’t say no. Or...

they will and it will be the most humiliating experience of your life. But they probably won’t say no.....

(June 22- July 22) Rememebr when Milry Cyrus got that hair cut that made her

Cancerlook like a drug addict? You shouldn’t have laughed.... be careful the next time you go for a hair cut. A “little off the side” means very different things to certain people.!

Jul 23 - Aug 22) Feeling sore ir sick (Aug 22 - Sep 22) Remember Leo (lately? Virgo when you broke the wish bone at Somebody out there

has a little tiny version of you. A mini voo-doo doll. It’s not going to end well, you should probably never leave your house.

Thanksgiving and you wished for all of your dreams to come true? No one told you that particular turkey was cursed. The opposite of all you wished for is going to happen. Ooops.

Absynthe Magazine November 2012