C2 Sunday, December 19, 2010
VISTAS
Families try to balance traditions at holidays Q: Every year, my husband and I have the same argument about how to spend Christmas. On Christmas Eve, we always go to church and dinner with my family. Then on Christmas day, my husband’s family takes up practically the whole day. We’re expected to be there in the morning and stay until evening. Now that we have kids, I want us to establish our own family traditions. JULI: Practically every married couple can relate to your question. Christmas is typically regarded as the most important day of the year. Because of that, it’s often symbolic to the people in our lives ... we spend Christmas with those who mean the most to us. That’s why deciding how much time to spend with extended family during the holidays becomes such an emotional issue. I agree that it is important to establish your own Christmas traditions. However, there is nothing wrong with part of those traditions including your families. Every couple handles the details differently, but here are some basic principles to help you navigate through: First, while honoring both your and your husband’s families, set some boundaries. For example, you may decide that you will only go to your in-laws’ house for lunch instead of for the entire day. Or you might decide to alternate years, one year spending time with your family during Christmas, the next year spending time with his. Second, pick a time during the holiday season that you will protect and set aside for your family every year. With little children, Christmas morning becomes particularly
DR. JULI SLATTERY
JIM DALY
FAMILY SYNDICATED COLUMNIST
fun. Next, ask both of your families to be flexible. As children become adults, family traditions have to change. Perhaps your parents or in-laws would be willing to come to your house for dinner. Or maybe they'll decide to have their family celebration on Dec. 26. The good news is that most couples eventually resolve the holiday question, honoring their families' traditions as well as creating their own. ** ** ** Q: I want to set a good example for my kids by doing a “good deed” for someone during the holiday season. But I don’t really know where to begin. Do you have any suggestions? JIM: Start right outside your front door! The art of being a good neighbor has been lost in recent years. We’re so busy running from one thing to the next that we hardly take the time to get to know those who live right next to us.
Roswell Daily Record
My wife, Jean, and I have put a lot of effort into helping our boys catch the vision for being good neighbors. I remember a specific day last winter when Jean made a batch of her delicious homemade pumpkin bread. I convinced my sons, Trent and Troy, to deliver it with me as soon as it came out of the oven — even though the thermometer reading at the time was 10 below zero! But the experience was worth it. The bread was a big hit with our neighbors, and my boys learned that it’s worth going out in the cold to do something nice for someone else. Christmas offers the perfect environment for these little acts of kindness. It doesn’t matter where you live; chances are there’s someone nearby to whom you can reach out. What better way to embody the message of “peace on Earth, goodwill to men”? Sometimes a simple gesture is all it takes to create community with a stranger. And that one little act may encourage someone who’s feeling lonely or depressed during the holidays. It could also signal the beginning of a friendship that will last long after Christmas is over. ** ** ** Jim Daly is president of Focus on the Family, host of the Focus on the Family radio program, and a husband and father of two. Dr. Juli Slattery is a licensed psychologist, cohost of Focus on the Family, author of several books, and a wife and mother of three. Submit your questions to: ask@FocusOnTheFamily.com. © 2010 Focus on the Family
Decadent desserts on ‘Creative Living’ Ring in New Year with a simple Italian-style tart Information on scrapbooking, re-doing a teen’s room on a budget, and making delicious decadent desserts will be the featured topics on “Creative Living” on Tuesday, Dec. 21, at 9:30 p.m. and on Thursday, Dec. 23, at noon. All times are Mountain. Do you have drawers, tubs and shoeboxes full of pictures — or hundreds of photos on your computer? Tyleen Caffrey, an independent scrapbooking consultant from Clovis, teaches classes on how to begin to organize all those photos and will explain how to bring structure to your clutter. Bruce Johnson is going to show how to re-do a teen’s bedroom on a budget. He’ll also explain how the environmentally friendly bedroom re-do features soap and water cleanup. Johnson is the spokesman for Minwax located in Upper Saddle River, N.J. Chef and cooking school owner, John Vollertsen, known as Chef Johnny Vee, will demonstrate making delicious decadent desserts, but the best part is that the recipe is simple and easy to make — it just looks complicated. He lives in Santa Fe. Information on making party favors, cooking “almost” from scratch, and decorating items in the home will be the featured topics on “Creative Living” on Tuesday, Dec. 21, at noon and on Saturday, Dec. 25, at 2 p.m. All times are Mountain. Nancy Siler of Wilton Industries shows how to make a variety of party favors for different occasions. She’s from Woodridge, Ill. Whether you start from scratch, or just want your family and friends to think you cook that way, Linda
Eckhardt will show how to do half-scratch entertaining. Her company is Eckhardt Enterprises, and she’s written several cookbooks. She’s from Maplewood, N.J. Artist and designer Tracia Ledford will show how to achieve fabulous results using the new Stencil Trios and Air Dry paints, as she uses them to decorate a variety of items in the home. She’s with Delta Technical Coatings, Inc. and lives in Orlando, Fla. Lemon curd Juice and zest of 3 large lemons 1 cup sugar 3 large eggs 8 tablespoons cold butter 1/4 teaspoon salt Combine lemon juice, zest, and sugar in a medium metal bowl. Place bowl over simmering water in a saucepan on stove and stir until sugar dissolves. Beat the eggs in a small bowl and then, using a large balloon whisk, whisk into lemon mixture, making sure water is only simmering, not boiling. Whisk constantly until the mixture thickens, remove from heat and then whisk in butter, one tablespoon at a time. Once butter is completely cooked into mixture, stir in salt. Serve in small pastry cups topped with a squirt of meringue, whipped cream, or a raspberry. Curd may be stored in small jars in refrigerator for up to 2 weeks. Makes about 2 cups. “Creative Living" is produced and hosted by Sheryl Borden. The show is carried by more than 118 PBS stations in the United States, Canada, Guam and Puerto Rico and is distributed by Westlink, Albuquerque.
Frugal parents skip stores for online toy swaps
NEW YORK (AP) — Stephanie Edwards-Musa finished her Christmas shopping early this year. Her 13-year-old daughter is getting a PlayStation 2 and clothing from Hollister and Aeropostale. For her 5year-old son, it’s a bundle of toys, mostly “Star Wars”themed. The bill? $45. Edwards-Musa, a Houston Realtor, found these items used on ThredUp.com, an online toy exchange that launched last week. Parent-to-parent swapping sites like this one, growing in popularity, offer families a way to clear their closets of toys and clothes their children have outgrown in exchange for items cast off by older kids. “I’ve always been frugal,” she said, “but the PlayStation was my best Friday doorbuster yet.” Thrifty parents are finding plenty of places to barter on the Web. At the online community SwapMamas.com, hip moms trade goods from baby slings to clarinets without any money changing hands. Swap-seekers place hundreds of listings a day on classifieds service Craigslist.org, while parents just looking for freebies gravitate to the local forums on Freecycle.org. ThredUp CEO James Reinhart says the site has benefited from middleincome Americans’ heightened frugality; its membership, now at 50,000, has grown steadily since it debuted with clothing only back in April. The fallout from the recession still has many parents struggling to balance the imperative to spend less with the desire to give their kids the things they want, especially during the holidays. Even in hard times, “parents still want to do whatever it takes to create magic for their kids on Christmas and give them
AP Photo
In this Dec. 11 photo, Stephanie Edwards-Musa poses with some of the Christmas presents she'll give to her children.
that pleasure,” said toy analyst Chris Byrne — one reason toy sales have held steady over the past few years while other categories fell. Americans spend more than $21 billion a year on toys and games, according to market research fir m NPD Group, and many of these items end up getting thrown away or stuffed in basements and attics. ThredUp Marketing Manager Karen Fein says the company expects to save parents $500,000 this holiday season. Of course, many parents unload their kids’ outgrown goods the old-fashioned — and most eco-friendly — way: by handing them down to friends and family. Used playthings are not always greener, however. Some product-safety groups caution against buying toys secondhand because it’s tough to guarantee the products meet safety standards regarding lead and other chemicals.
Also, when a resold toy lacks its original packaging, parents may not recognize whether it’s age-appropriate or contains pieces
that are choking hazards, said Scott Wolfson, spokesman for the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission. Still, the secondhand market for children’s clothes and toys generates $3 billion in sales annually. ThredUp’s investors, led by Silicon Valley’s Trinity Ventures, hope the startup can carve out a sizeable chunk. To facilitate a swap, ThredUp provides a flatrate shipping box a parent can fill with giveaways. The donor lists the contents of the box on the site, where the bundles are organized by age and gender. To claim a box, a user pays $5 to ThredUp plus $10.70 for shipping, and ThredUp emails the sender a prepaid shipping label. Members rate each other based on the quality of the stuff they receive. The emphasis on convenience is a response to what Reinhart sees as “massive inefficiencies” in the usedclothing market. Parents are too busy to spend time “digging through the racks for those diamonds in the rough at Goodwill,” he said.
J.M. HIRSCH AP FOOD EDITOR Sometimes fortune cookies just don’t cut it. Since the prevailing New Year’s Eve trend is to do takeout, I decided to focus my end-of-year energy on a simple dessert that could be prepared earlier in the day, would work nicely with bubbly and is light enough not to weigh down any festivities. I created this easy pine nut tart sweetened with honey and flavored with orange zest. We tend to think of pine nuts as a savory ingredient, but they show up frequently in Italian desserts, their creamy, nutty flavor and delicate texture working well with sweet treats. But if you prefer, chopped cashews, pistachios or even peanuts could be used instead. ——— ORANGE-HONEY PINE NUT TART Start to finish: 50 minutes (15 minutes active), plus cooling Servings: 8 For the crust: 1 1/4 cups graham cracker crumbs 5 tablespoons butter, melted 1/4 cup sugar 1 teaspoon vanilla extract Pinch of salt For the filling: 2/3 cup honey 7 tablespoons butter 5 tablespoons sugar 3/4 teaspoon salt 7 tablespoons heavy cream 2 eggs Zest of 1/2 orange 1 1/2 cups lightly toasted pine nuts Heat the oven to 350 F. Coat a 9-inch tart pan with removable bottom with cooking spray. To prepare the crust, in a food processor combine the graham cracker crumbs, butter, sugar, vanilla and salt. Pulse until the butter is worked into the graham cracker crumbs and the mixture resembles wet sand. Transfer to the prepared tart pan. Use the bottom of a glass to gently press the crumb mixture evenly across and up the sides of the tart pan. Set aside. To prepare the filling, in a medium saucepan over medium-high, combine the honey, butter, sugar and salt. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly until the sugar is dissolved. Remove the pan from the heat and set aside to cool for 5 minutes. In a medium bowl, whisk together the cream, eggs and orange zest. Whisk the warm honey mixture into the egg mixture. Stir in the pine nuts. Transfer the mixture to the tart pan and bake for 35 to 40 minutes, or until golden and set. Cool before serving. ROSWELL DAILY RECORD
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