WHAT’S SO FUNNY? To help you learn who’s who in the local comedy scene, we asked a few resident jokesters to introduce themselves with a signature quip.
BURLINGTON’S ONLY VAPE AND E-CIGARETTE EXCLUSIVE STORE
I want to start a magazine dedicated to dads and call it Daddy. Subscription is free, so anyone can have Daddy issues if they want.
— ANYA VOLZ
Recommended if you like: Jen Kirkman, David Cross, Sarah Silverman
Good person test: When you watch crime shows, do you worry about one day getting murdered, or do you worry about one day getting caught murdering someone? Are you watching like, "I guess I’m never going camping alone again"? Or are you watching like, "I’d remove all the teeth, that’s what I’d do"?
— KENDALL FARRELL Voted Vermont’s Funniest Comedian in 2015. R.I.Y.L.: Amy Schumer, Pete Holmes, Cameron Esposito
I saw an article the other day called "These pictures of Jennifer Lopez’s abs will make you want to put down the cupcake.” I didn’t have a cupcake at the time, so all that did was make me want a cupcake.
— NICOLE SISK R.I.Y.L.: Eugene Mirman, Todd Barry, Tig Notaro
I seriously injured my little brother playing peekaboo. He’s in the ICU.
— RICHARD BOWEN R.I.Y.L.: Demetri Martin, Mitch Hedberg, Steve Martin
A friend of mine once said that my comedy crosses cultures. I think what she meant was, "You’re black, and I bet you can name all of the X-Men."
Huge selection of • premium E-JUICE • mods • starter kits • tanks • and accessories
10% Discount with College I.D.
— MIKE THOMAS
R.I.Y.L.: Aziz Ansari, Hannibal Buress, John Mulaney
84 Pearl St. Burlington
802- 448-3243
Hours: M-T 11-8, F-S 11-10, S 12-5