i SPY
If you’ve been spied, go online to contact your admirer!
dating.sevendaysvt.com
MATTY Your name is Matty. You’re white, probably late 30s, cute, big smile, a little chubby. You wear mostly black. Maybe you work in a restaurant? Maybe you live in the ONE? Or else I just met you walking in the ONE last summer. Sound like you? When: Saturday, June 1, 2019. Where: ONE. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915028
SPOTTED AT VERMONT LIQUIDATION STORE You were buying king-size pillows and asked me to go before you. You left the store for your SUV and saw me and then showed me a car accident that happened to your car recently. Let’s talk soon. When: Friday, March 27, 2020. Where: liquidation store, Williston. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915023
GOODBYE TO ALL THAT Thank you for closing the door behind me and sealing the door where conditional love lives. Can’t own your own stuff; your memory, faulty. It’s not love to demand someone be other than who they are just to please you. Call me by my name you never would. Things you had been “holding on to for some time” are released. Goodbye. When: Wednesday, April 8, 2020. Where: overlooking the Intervale. You: Man. Me: Man. #915027
TRADER JOE’S CHECKOUT LINE I should’ve written this weeks ago. I noticed you on a Saturday morning. I think you’re vegan! We checked out in the lines next to each other. I left just before you. If you see this, I’d love to get coffee once we can leave our houses. When: Saturday, March 7, 2020. Where: Trader Joe’s. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915022
SHAKESPEARE IN THE PARK Grim-visaged war hath smooth’d his wrinkled front; / And now, instead of mounting barbed steeds / To fright the souls of fearful adversaries, / He capers nimbly in a lady’s chamber / To the lascivious pleasing of a lute. When: Thursday, September 24, 2015. Where: Calahan. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915025 BEAUTIFUL BIRD-WATCHER You were on the Burlington bike path with a black coat, binoculars, sweet smile and eyes like a tiger. I was the runner with the black pants and blue shirt. You pointed out the red-winged black bird and told me that was a sign of spring. Look me up, lover, and I’ll fly away with U. When: Saturday, March 28, 2020. Where: Burlington waterfront bike path. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915024
BLOND BOY IN BLACK TRUCK I noticed you smiling at me in front of the Radio Bean. I waved goodbye as we parted ways; you waved back. We met again on Shelburne Road. I was held back at a stoplight but managed to catch up. You were behind me until the turn for Vergennes. This is the curly-headed brunette in the black Crosstrek. When: Friday, March 20, 2020. Where: Burlington. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915021 TRUE LOVE REIGNS Now is the winter of our discontent / Made glorious summer by this sun of York; / And all the clouds that lour’d upon our house / In the deep bosom of the ocean buried. / Now are our brows bound with victorious wreaths; / Our bruised arms hung up for monuments; / Our stern alarums changed to merry meetings, / Our dreadful marches to delightful measures. When: Sunday, March 24, 2019. Where: Queen City. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915020
HELLO HAPPINESS I’m getting your emails, but it’s not letting me respond. Dennis. When: Monday, March 23, 2020. Where: profiles. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915019 FRIDAY, SOBBING AT CITY MARKET I nearly walked into you as you left the co-op. You were almost blind with tears, sobbing as you walked. I wish I had asked you what was wrong. Small comfort, but it is the least I can do to hope you see this and know that one stranger that day cared about you and carried your pain with them. When: Friday, March 20, 2020. Where: downtown City Market. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915018 AMOR I try to ignore my feelings for you, but I find myself not able to control them anymore. I love you, and I miss you! When: Friday, March 20, 2020. Where: in the night sky. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915017 LATE-MORNING LAKEFRONT WALK To the recent central Illinois transplant: Thank you for the impromptu latemorning lakefront walk and talk. When: Thursday, March 19, 2020. Where: Burlington waterfront. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915016 OAKLEDGE PARK WALKING BRITTANY SPANIEL Midafternoon. I was walking with my sister. You were walking with your dog, an elderly Brittany Spaniel, you told me. I’d like to ask more questions, starting with your name. When: Friday, March 13, 2020. Where: Oakledge Park. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915015 NO MORE TIES I’ve done everything I promised and more. All our dreams could be a reality now. I’m sorry it’s too late and I wasn’t there for you as I should have been. I’ve been there every day for you and the kids, even though it’s not wanted, and will always be here. I love you, dudes. When: Wednesday, March 11, 2020. Where: passenger seat — hold my hand, kid. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915014 HARDWICK PARKING LOT, NOON You were soaking up some early spring sunshine. Radiant, with big silver hoops and long stray whisps of dark hair dancing in the wind. I had on an orange hat. You make my heart dance. Let’s soak up some sun together, at the beach. When: Monday, March 9, 2020. Where: Hardwick. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915013
Ask REVEREND Dear Nervous Neighbor,
Irreverent counsel on life’s conundrums
Dear Reverend,
I live in an apartment building with 12 units. For the most part everyone has been great about staying away from each other, but one of the people in my building has been having a bunch of people over about once a week. I’m concerned for my safety, but also I’m not sure if this is something I can or should report, or how to even go about that. What should I do?
Nervous Neighbor (FEMALE, 28)
I’m assuming you don’t want to approach this person, but have you left a note on their door expressing your concerns? Perhaps you could talk to your landlord and have them send a message to all tenants outlining the basics of the governor’s stay-at-home order. Dropping a dime on a neighbor is never all that cool, so it would be lovely if a friendly reminder could do the trick. However, if this person is dumb enough to host parties during a pandemic, you might need to take more drastic action. The Vermont State Police website, vsp.vermont.gov, has a page devoted to “Stay Home,
YOU CAN’T HAVE ENOUGH KARMA Thank you for offering to help me out until I located my credit card by the coffees. Please say hi if you see me again out and about. When: Monday, March 9, 2020. Where: City Market. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915012
FRIDAY A.M., CUMBY’S, RICHMOND, 3/6 Dressed in a gray jacket with leopardprint shoes, I looked in while you looked out. I said hello to Bill. You turned to leave, and we locked eyes. Time stopped. Brown Tundra hunk, you followed me in my blue Dodge toward Hinesburg, and I was bummed when you headed away to Williston. You: tall, strong and instantly attractive! Wowser! When: Friday, March 6, 2020. Where: Richmond Cumberland Farms, 7:15 a.m. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915009
MATTY WITH THE BIG SMILE I was walking with my son on Rose Street last summer. Not sure what we saw in each other from so far away, but we both had shit-eating grins down the block. You said I was gorgeous and that you hoped my man knew how lucky he was. He didn’t. But that’s over! Would love to see that smile again. When: Thursday, August 1, 2019. Where: Rose Street. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915011 CHIROPRACTOR OFFICE ROMANCE I’ve seen you few times at my chiropractor’s office. It seems like we are flirting, but I can’t tell for sure. I am hoping we are, because I think you are quite cute. I’m not bold enough to ask you out unless I know you feel them same. I’ll do my best to remember your name this time! When: Friday, March 6, 2020. Where: doctor’s office. You: Woman. Me: Non-binary person. #915010 HANKSVILLE WOMAN FROM GOOD HEALTH We met a few weeks ago. I have metal in my leg from too much football, and you have metal in your spine from California. You spoke of taking care of your parents. You were compassionate, positive and wonderful. I’ve been thinking of you since. I’d love to get in touch. When: Thursday, February 20, 2020. Where: Good Health. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915008 CO-OP CUTIE You: in the craft beer aisle, searching for a special flavor. Me: in the next aisle over, doing the same. I found that flavor when I saw you in your red hoodie, gently picking up each can with those strong hands. Maybe sometime, somewhere we can sip a brew from the same glass. Would love to see you again. xoxo. When: Friday, March 6, 2020. Where: Hunger Mountain Co-op. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915007 BABY, BABY! No one wears those plaid pajamas like you do. I can’t wait for my next asparagus omelette. I love you so. When: Thursday, March 5, 2020. Where: in the kitchen. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #915006
Stay Safe” enforcement. It says that enforcement of the executive order should “be handled primarily through education and voluntary compliance.” It also recommends that anyone witnessing any kind of noncompliance should call their local law enforcement agency. So I gave my local police department a jingle and asked whether a person should report parties or
CITY MARKET ON 3/5 To the woman with great salt-andpepper hair, black jacket and cool boots: You reappeared, passing in front of my vehicle. Sometimes a seemingly insignificant encounter makes a difference. I just wanted to say, “Thank you.” When: Thursday, March 5, 2020. Where: City Market. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #915005 THE FAITH THAT GROWS I’ll speak to you like the chorus to the verse / Chop another lime like a coda with a curse / Come on like a freak show takes the stage / We give them the games we play, she say / “I want something else to get me through this life, baby.” When: Wednesday, March 4, 2020. Where: the Velvet. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915002 WE KINDA DANCED TO RHJ You are seeing someone now, which sometimes has me feeling guilty for feeling this way — but occasionally I wonder, is it wrong of me to want one night with you? Just to cuddle and badly sing along to our favorite songs? It’s not even sexual in nature. I just want a good last memory of holding you in my arms. When: Saturday, October 1, 2016. Where: Lake Champlain. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915001 WE POINTED AT EACH OTHER I just happened to be thinking of you when I saw you for the second time today. The coincidence surprised me, and I was compelled to point. There’s more to it than that, but I’ll tell you that some other time ... if we ever cross each other’s paths. You have a warm and inviting way about you. When: Tuesday, March 3, 2020. Where: on the street. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915000
gatherings. Seems there might be a little gray area, because the person I spoke with didn’t say yes right away and asked me if there was a noise complaint. When I explained that I was more concerned about the spread of the virus, she said it would be best to call when the party is happening, and an officer would be dispatched to assess the situation. I imagine a visit from Johnny Law will put an end to the pesky parties. In the meantime, wash your hands, don’t touch your face and stay at home as best you can. Good luck and God bless,
The Reverend What’s your problem?
Send it to asktherev@sevendaysvt.com. SEVEN DAYS APRIL 15-22, 2020
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