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Sunday, October 7, 2012
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Vanessa with
Vanessaonsunday@yahoo.com
Would you marry someone who loves you or the one you love?
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ove comes with lots of complexities and yet it is the most beautiful and powerful force on earth. Every human heart is born with the yearning to love and be loved in return. There’s an invisible tank in every man waiting to be filled with love and to give love back in return. The question now is: how possible is it to run the race of life on a love ‘tank’ that is either empty or half full? I have heard some schools of thought who believe that love is a choice and not an emotion. They are of the opinion that just as you choose your car, shoes, the food you eat, the people you interact with and the brand of wine you drink; you also choose who you love. Another school of thought says that love is all emotional and we have no choice who to fall in love with. They reason that a rich boy can fall in love with a poor boy and a girl can fall head over heels in love with a crippled man because love
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is a matter of the heart and not of the head. There is yet another school of thought that is a balanced combination of the two - choice and emotions. They reason that as much as love has to do with emotions and feelings and its pull so strong that we may love someone who does not return our love; yet love will make a choice when frustration sets in and you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship. They believe that there are times when you can’t really trust your emotions. Reality has to take its rightful place when you are considering whether to continue in a potentially abusive relationship. So what is your own opinion? Would you rather marry someone who loves you or the one you love? An intricate question, isn’t? To love and be loved in return is a great feat everyone will like to attain to in their relationship. But most often, this love equation is difficult to balance. Every heart wishes the 50:50 kind of love in their relationship. Yet we often see it coming in as 30: 70, 60: 40 or even worse 10:90! Complex indeed! Well, yours sincerely went to town with today’s topic and got amazing and thought-provoking answers. The male and female respondents gave divergent views and this got me thinking: men and women do have different reasons when it comes to making choices for marriage. Below are some of the interesting ones I received. Read, learn and send in your own opinions and experiences through the E-mail above. Have a pleasant week ahead!
RESPONSES I will prefer to marry the woman I love rather than the one dying for me, who I don’t love. Marrying the woman l love would help me to treat her like a queen, a treatment no woman can resist. Naturally, I trust that she would respond with respect as I desire. Note that in the Bible, husbands are the ones commanded to love their wives, while the wives are commanded to respect their husbands. –Chigozie Chikere grandfather@yahoo.com 0805776**** As a woman, I will choose the person that loves me. He will go to every length for me and I am secured in all ramifications. My welfare will always be key to him. –Obiageli Chukwuka 08024937*** If I marry the one who loves me, I may not be able to love back. So it should be the one I love so that I can be able to swallow some friction that goes with it. –Ekene Nwankwo 080340076** Love is not a choice. If that was the case, people would be with the person that treats them the best instead of someriff raff thatdoesn’tcareforthem.Loveisjustsomethingthathappens.Iwillgowiththemanthatlovesme. –Bolanle 080313360*** This question is not balanced. It is balanced when the one I love loves me back. This is because anything away from that is love slavery and shouldn’t be accepted. When you love, you need your partner’s love to survive. Love does not grow on selfish grounds. –Godwin Robinson 08033085*** I will go for the one who loves me. The reason is that I have the capacity to love someone when I set my mind to it. But if I marry someone who I love more, I will consistently struggle to ensure I win that person’s love and I may not succeed. A woman can forgive an unfaithful man, but a man may not be able to forgive an unfaithful wife –David 08032006**** Love is a choice. I choose to love my spouse even though he knows how to get on my last nerve. I choose to be with this imperfect person for the rest of my life and to stand by him no matter what happens. I prefer to be with the one I love. –Bimbola Akinwale 080557321*** Most women love someone who loves someone else. They don’t give attention to the guy who is loves them just because he seems not to have their unrealistic qualities. They go on like this till the guy finally finds someone who loves him and then he is no longer available. I will go for the woman I love. –Richard Aluko 080936002***
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