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Sunday, November 3, 2013

Connecting with

Vanessa

Vanessaonsunday@yahoo.com

‘I love him but going to marry another, what do I do?’

H

ave you ever been in a tight situation and really don’t know which way to turn to? Have you been in a circumstance that is tearing you to shreds and yet there seems to be no immediate solution in sight? That was the kind of situation Jennifer found herself in when she met Benjamin who she can only describe as the love of her life. UnfortuModels nately, she was already engaged to be married by the time fate brought them together and there was nothing they could do because it was already too late for them to share their love with each other. By the time she met Benjamin, she was already engaged to Obinna, her lifelong sweetheart. She and Obinna have always known they will marry right from when they were kids. They grew up in the same neighbourhood and went to the same primary and secondary schools together. It was when they finished their WAEC examinations that they started seeing each other regularly. For Jenny, Obinna was like a brother she never had since she was an only child. She practically grew up in Obnna’s house as she was always going there to play as a child. As they grew older, the brother-sister relationship translated to matured love and they made a commitment to get married once they finished their university education and find good jobs. Now they are officially engaged and both parents are very pleased with their decision; although this was no news to either of their parents as it’ had been their desire to see their children come together as married couple. Benjamin epitomises all her male fantasies: cool, handsome, rich and suave. The few times she managed to go on a date with him have been the most exciting times of her life. She has fallen deeply in love with him and now sees her fiancé Obinna as a mere friend. Will it be fair to go ahead with this marriage, knowing her heart now belongs to another? Jennifer’s situation is indeed a dicey and precarious one. She is at a crossroads in her life where any decision she arrives at right now may make or mar her destiny. So she needs to tread softly and go into serious soul searching to decipher which of the men she’ll finally settle down with. The way our life turns out is largely dependent on the choices we make. Life presents us with all kinds of opportunities, some of them good, some bad and others come with a mixture of both depending on the angle we want to look at it. Making a choice which way to go should be dependent on your background, the values you hold close to heart and the pressing desire at that particular time. When it comes to the mat-

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ters of the heart, we always tend to think with our heart rather than with the head. Love is an overwhelming emotion if you are not careful; it can make you do things that are not originally in our character. For instance, Jennifer was already cheating by going out on dates with another man when she’s betrothed to another. Relationship commitments are binding and require you to keep it sacred until you officially break up. It becomes a dangerous game when you leave loopholes that will give access to cheating. In fact, there’s a thin line between flirting and cheating. It’s one thing to say you are in a serious or committed relationship with someone and yet you still flirt around. You may say it’s harmless at first, but before you know it, it can graduate into a full blown affair. That is why it is not safe to give place to the devil. We must all understand that there’s no perfect man or woman. That person who you may perceive as being your perfect match might end up being your worst enemy. Did you ever watch this Hollywood movie, ‘Sleeping with the enemy’ starred by Julia Roberts? Everything in her life looked comfortable and rosy on the outside but on the inside she was living with her worst enemy who was capable of terminating her life. In the end, she planned her own escape and even changed her identity just to save herself from the monster she had married. What am I trying to bring out here? The angel you know is far better than the knight in shining armour. Jennifer has known her fiance all her life and was in love with him half of that time. All of a sudden a stranger that looks like George Clooney walks into her life and she melts like butter before fire. She forgets that most George Clooney’s of this world only make good boyfriends and not good husbands. In fact, most of them are simply not the marrying kind. All that glitters is not gold. So before you go running off with that new-found love, make sure you are certain what you are getting yourself into will not boomerang in future. Investigate with your head and not with your heart that this is truly what you want. Be sure that it’s a choice you will not regret later in life; it is important for you to look before you leap.

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