Praise & Worship Let’s go
BIBLE with Favour
y phone was on the dinning while I was using the gent, on coming out l noticed my fiancée hurriedly dropping my phone and rushing into the kitchen. On picking my phone l noticed that it was hot meaning it has been on use for some time (actually l was in the gent for over 20minutes listening to a song), also a new text message that came in was unread and a call that came in was answered. Before l could even ask my fiancée, the caller, who happened to be a female and the wife/ vice-President to the CEO of the company l was waiting for their response after my interview with them two days ago, said she called to inform me of my appointment and that l was to report to office on Monday but my WIFE told her that am not interested. I tried to apologise to the woman but to no avail, that why she called back was to tell me that with how my fiancée abused and lashed her on the phone she doesn’t see me having a good future with that woman, and that was how l lost a multinational company job, which l never was able to get back.
So many people have been asking me to forgive her, but l just couldn’t. We’ve already picked our wedding date (all this happened after our introduction ceremony) but l don’t think l can continue. At first l shifted the date till after 7months hoping that l will get a good job so as to take the incident out of my mind but l couldn’t. Now l think l want to stop the whole thing. What do you think Ma? For females, l want to believe that before you can get to the level of calling a man your fiancé, you’ve come a very long way. Meaning you’ve crossed the hurdle of Getting to know, dating and courting. Reaching that height there are two things that are very important out of so many others; First is LOVE, while the Second is TRUST. If you don’t have those why go into a relationship with him, even up to the level of preparing for your settlement. A woman that trusts his husband has no business checking his phone. Even if he is into to some shady stuffs why don’t you cast all these burden upon God and let Him fight for you, for the battle is not yours but of the Lords. Exodus 14:14 says, “The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.” He is the one that created him; he knows how to handle him. With your own method what has been the result? On the other hand, for my dear brother, what you need is the KEY OF FORGIVENESS. As a child of God, vengeance is not yours but of the Lord, let Him handle her for you and l’m sure He will do a very good job. Forgiveness can be difficult, many couples also struggle with forgiveness in adultery, addictions, or financial irresponsibility. It’s not easy to maintain a forgiving attitude especially in the light of broken trust, love or promises. No matter the object of forgiveness—God always makes a way for couples who are tempted to hold on to an unforgiving attitude: 1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind.
Sunday November 3, 2013
I can’t forgive her And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it”. Take the following steps as a way towards forgiving your spouse: A. Choose forgiveness: “Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13). We have a choice to forgive or to not forgive. God isn’t going to force us to forgive our spouses. Making the choice to forgive doesn’t mean that there aren’t consequences for the transgression. It doesn’t mean that they “get away with it”. Giving our partner the gift of forgiveness has more to do with our relationship and reverence for God than with our spouse. B. Pray for God’s healing for your brokenness: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3). The Lord promises to never leave nor forsake us in our desperate situations. He heals the wounds caused by our partners with accuracy in His perfect timing. Just as the healing of physical wounds take time depending of its severity, so it is with spiritual and emotional trauma. The Lord’s healing is completely thorough when we put our complete trust and dependence on Him. C. Recognise that you have faults as well: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). We may have not sinned in the same manner as our spouses, but we have sinned at some point in our lives. In forgiving our spouses, we must resist the temptation of comparing our sins to theirs. Jesus died for all sins—both small and great in our eyes, but in the eyes of God—there are no small sins. Sin of every size and shape separates us from having an intimate relationship with God. Ask the Lord to reveal any sinful actions on your part in the relationship. D. Resist the urge to continually bring up their transgression: “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past” (Isaiah 43:18). “Forgive and forget” is a common saying many people recite when dealing with the issue of forgiveness. We may never completely forget an offense, but we don’t have to mull it over and over, in our minds either. Through the grace and healing of God, He’s able to take the sting of the transgression away even if the memory persists. As we grow in our relationship with God, we move away from the desire of revenge and wanting to punish our spouses to a place of contentment. E. Believe God: “What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.” Mark 9:23. Whatsoever that happens to a child of God does not just happen, there is a purpose for it. Though it’s not good, God can bring good out of a bad situation. Also don’t give up hope yet; God might be planning something better. For everything works together for good for those that believe and love God. Believe God can do better than your multinational job for He is God and in Him all things consist.
F. Express your love in action and not just words. “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth” (1 John 3:18). Love isn’t a passive feeling. It is expressed in the action of husbands and wives who love God. How can we love God and not forgive our spouse? It can’t happen. Your relationship with God is most evident in how you show love after choosing forgiveness. No one knows the love language of your spouse more than you. G. Forgive, forgive, and forgive again. “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times’” (Matthew 18:21-22). We will have to forgive again and again. Not necessarily for the same offenses, but maybe, depending on our situations. The Lord provides the strength and the insight for us to keep forgiving our spouses. If we do it in our own strength, we will fail. However, if we depend on God’s grace to forgive our spouses, we will always have room in our hearts to forgive. Forgive? It’s not fair! You’re right. It’s not fair. It wasn’t fair for Jesus who never sinned to bear the sins of every person who was, is, and will be born on this earth. It wasn’t fair for Him to be separated from the Heavenly Father because of our sins. It wasn’t fair for Him to suffer with many stripes, beatings, and be-
Christian Relationship with Taiwo
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ing nailed to the Cross. For your sin. For my sin. For the sins of our spouses and children. “But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we were healed.” Isaiah 53:5. In the light of Jesus Christ’s sacrifice, none of us deserve to be forgiven of our sins. But we are because of His great love and mercy poured out to us. In the same manner, out of the forgiveness shown to us, we choose to forgive our spouses and trust in God to heal our brokenness. Looking at it from another angle: I want you to be highly prayerful, in that, what happened could be a check from the Lord. He could have been talking to you about the lady not been the right partner for you but you were too busy to listen, so in a way to get your attention he could have arranged this, so be highly prayerful to know the will of God for your life. However there is no way you can get through to God without first forgiving her, still make use of the key of forgiveness, then seek the face of the Lord for His guidance. The question is before you entered into this relationship, did you seek the face of God and were you able to receive a go ahead from Him. Go back to the beginning and really check if you did it well. •You can send in your QUESTIONS and the Holy Spirit will be set to give you the ANSWERS. Barr. (Mrs) Favour Tioluwani Tel: 08050272259 or 07062738213 Email: letsgobible@ gmail.com
Any emotional aff ing your pastor.” Tammy looked up as her anger grew. She shouted, “He hid it from me! He didn’t tell me. I complained about his closeness to this lady but he didn’t listen to me!” “You should have told your wife about it. You should have also prayed ...” (Culled from my novel ‘Oh Baby!’)
ut before I continue, I’d like to know how you got so close to that woman.” Pastor Tom said, looking at Richard.
Feeling greatly ashamed he answered, “I was only trying to help and be a support to her. I was just trying to be friendly. I mean ... we were just friends.” Richard’s wife, Tammy shook her head and sighed as she folded her arms across her chest. She kept her face turned away. Pastor Tom went on. “That has always been the root cause of extramarital affairs. People say they are just friends, friends without their spouses. I can’t count the number of people who have said that. They continued to see and spend time with those friends against better judgment and advice. Most of them ended up getting attracted and having affairs with the so called friends.” Tammy shook her head sadly again. She had warned Richard about this lady but he said there was no problem. He even accused her of hating the lady. Pastor Tom continued. “When two people begin to feel attracted to each other and they don’t break or stop the attraction, they have entered into an emotional affair and most of the time, emotional affairs lead to sexual affairs. Richard, the moment you began to feel the attraction was when you should have backed off or told your wife ... or even me, be-
In the novel, Pastor Richard, a married man, knew he was getting really very close and attracted to Helen, his church member but did nothing to stop it. He continued spending time with her, telling himself that they were just friends and he could handle the friendship. Keeping their conversations and meetings away from his wife, Tammy, he ended up sleeping with Helen and destroying his marriage. I have heard people say that sometimes a person does not know he or she is having an emotional affair until the feelings have grown too deep or it is too late but I don’t agree. There is no way a person will be attracted or begins to feel some sexual energy because of someone and will not know it in the heart. Married people involved in emotional affairs know something is going on and it is wrong, that is why they keep it a secret and lie or deceive their spouses. What is an emotional affair? When does friendship become an emotional affair? An emotional affair is an affair of the heart that involves someone who is not the spouse, and a seemingly innocent friendship becomes an emotional affair when: 1. You begin to feel attracted to the person. Seeing the person gives you sexual en-