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Sunday, February 9, 2014
Connecting with
Vanessa
Vanessaonsunday@yahoo.com
Don’t make promises you can’t fulfil I jeoma couldn’t believe what she was seeing! She blinked twice just to be sure her eyes were not deceiving her. Oh No! She was definitely seeing clearly; right in her hands was a wedding invitation between the love of her life, Chima and another womA model an. This is unbelievable! How could Chima even conceive doing this great injustice to her after all they’ve been through together? She sat down in a deflated heap on the floor of her bedroom and cried her eyes out. Somehow, she still wanted to believe that this must be a sick joke played on her by some crank but deep down inside her heart she knew that what she was holding was proof that Chima was going to marry another woman roughly in three weeks time. She and Chima met during their youth service years six years ago. They became lovers and virtually inseparable. They rented an apartment where they lived together all through their service year. She got pregnant twice but had to abort it since they were not ready to start a family yet. Chima promised to marry her once they finished serving and get a good job. After their NYSC, she got a job before him and supported him for over a year from her salary as an account officer in a bank. Finally, he was able to secure a job as a computer analyst in an oil firm. She was ecstatic about the news and believed that very soon, she and Chima will get married. Unfortunately, that dream was short lived as Chima’s father was diagnosed as being hypertensive and diabetic. He suffered a stroke and had to be constantly monitored and hospitalised to stabilise him. This of course took a heavy toll on Chima’s finances as the first son. He was also saddled with the responsibility of seeing his two younger brothers through the University since their father was no longer in any condition to cater for the family. That was how Ijeoma waited endlessly and patiently for six years for Chima to settle all his numerous family problems so that they could settle down as husband and wife. Eventually, his two brothers graduated from the University and his father’s condition stabilised to the extent that the sickness could be managed at home with the necessary apparatus needed to monitor his blood sugar and pressure. So, it was only ideal for her to ask Chima to set the date for their wedding; but he kept giving her lame excuses of work pressure and the need to save good money before finally settling down. Recently, she also discovered that he has been somewhat distant from her. He hardly comes to visit her since he moved out from her little room and rented a bigger apartment where he claimed they will soon start their family together. You can then imagine the rude shock she received when she opened the anonymous letter that
was left on her door step last night. Someone apparently wanted her to know about the cruel injustice meted on her by the man she has wasted the years of her youth waiting for. Now, she’s very angry, desperate and terribly confused. She feels as if someone has practically ripped her heart from the rib cage. She’s torn in shreds and wants to take out her revenge against Chima in whatever way she can. No one will make a fool out of her for this long and think to get away with it. She must get her own pound of flesh from Chima, Ijeoma vowed to herself. A very sad story of love and betrayal isn’t it? But then, it is typically what a lot of people-both men and woman have suffered severally in the hands of the one that professed undying love to them. My question is: if you know you are no longer interested in the current relationship you are in, why do you continue to give false hope to your partner? It’s best you just break the relationship than to keep that person hanging to a threadbare promise you no longer intend to keep. Promises are not meant to be broken. They are vows of commitment we make to people we love in the hit of the passion. If at any time you no longer have feelings for that person; it’s best you tell the person and quietly quit the relationship. It’s worse if they find out suddenly that you never intended to keep your word. The danger behind promise and fail in relationships is the bitterness it brews. Nobody likes to be played for a fool. That is why we keep hearing horror stories of how a woman killed her former boyfriend because she broke the relationship or a man pours acid on his former girlfriend just to make sure no other man looks at her. I am not saying these people are justified in their actions but the truth is that this could be avoided if truth serves as the bedrock of the relationship. Its best you don’t make a promise you are not 100% sure you will fulfil in a relatively short time. This is one of the reasons why I don’t advocate for you to go into long time courtship. Anything can happen within the years that will give room for promises to be broken. The person may not have done it on purpose sincerely, but life circumstances usually try to play a trick on us and bring situations around us that may warrant those promises to be broken. That is why I’ll insist that if you made a promise to your loved one for something as serious as marriage make sure you fulfil it as soon as possible. But, if you are not yet ready to see that promise come to fruition, please don’t give your word. Don’t make promises you are not yet ready to fulfil if you do not want the law of karma to make an unscheduled visit to your destiny.
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