The Five day HORROR by Creigh Niebuhr
“Wake up! You’re late! Get dressed and eat! C’mon! Chop! Chop!” I
lifted my groggy, brain-dead head to look at my watch; 4:30. Yikes! I’m
When I arrived at camp I thought “They call this a camp? Only a brain-
dead bat-faced beetle-butt will think this is a camp.” which of Course I
meant the coaches.
The first thing the coaches did when we dismounted off the bus was to
make us sit down, shut up and listen to their boring snoring talk that
lasted for eternity. I think before coaches become coaches they’re told to
speak long in college. After the insane blabbing, I was told that my room
was 202 and my class was B2. Great, 202 means no television. B2
means two things. One – super hard. Two – Oohashi coach who is
known for a strong sense of teamwork. Teamwork means at least seven
people in my class has to get a best time. “I’m dead, decomposing
dead,” I thought.
I’m stuck in a homicidal camp with psycho teachers and zombie nerd
students. No escape.
After around two hours of nothing, I thought I’d go insane. I’m not sure
which is worse, the two hour swimming terror or the never ending
Times up. Time to go to swimming practice.
The swim dome is around 2 miles from the hotel but we have to walk
since as I said Oohashi coach is strict. She says that Our warm-ups is the
hike so we should jog. To make things worse there is a type of fly that’s
called buyo that gives you a really nasty bite that doesnâ€™t go away for
half a year. After one hour of bone-breaking leg-aching jogging, I
thought my knees would pop off right then and there. I felt relieved
when I finally got to the swim dome but after looking more closely, I
thought being hit by an atom bomb is better. The dome looked
abandoned and had roots, leaves and slime mold covered it. Perfect
camouflage. From a distance it would look like any part of the forest.
The dome also reeked of rotten eggs. Multiplied by infinity.
To get inside of the dome you have to go through a gym. When I went
inside the gym I gagged. The whole gym stank like a sewer except it
also had an odor of tobacco and cigars. I quickly left the building, took a
deep breath and bolted through the halls, sprinted across the coach room
and jumped down the stairs. When I felt my lungs were about to burst, I
put a handkerchief over my mouth and took a deep breath. That was
when I realized the lockers didnâ€™t stink. But the Locker had dangers too.
It was cold! The locker Was used as a refrigerator when there was
no camp. I started to get blue lips, shivers and goose bumps.
With a lot of effort I finally managed to take off my clothes and
wear my swimsuit without getting frozen, frost-bitten or getting
I walked down the corridor to the showers to wait for the deranged
coach and my idiotic swim mates. When the coach and all the kids
came, the coach ordered us to go to the bathroom. We all took turns
going to the outdoor bathroom that was cramped and messy with
pee, poop and barf. I didnâ€™t want to go to a cockroach farm so I
pretended to go in. It worked!
When we got inside the dome it was nothing like the outside world.
First of all it was hot! I saw some mushrooms that looked very much
like toadstools were sprouting. It was also very humid. Not rainy
day humid but tropical rainforest humid. The ground under my feet
was sizzling. I also saw steam rising from the pool. I sweat like a
sponge when squeezed.
It was torture to see little kids in the pool. I tried not to look but my
eyes were glued to the sight. I longed to do a cannon ball but if I did
then I wouldnâ€™t be writing this personal narrative.
After what seemed like hours, the little kids finally finished their
practice and got out of the pool. That was my cue. I jumped into the
choppy, deep waters than quickly jumped out. The water was colder
than I imagined. I thought the water in the pool was liquid nitrogen.
The coach kicked me back into the pool.
Me and my team mates were going to roasted top half and frozen
bottom half and we were going to swim For two hours in the same
condition. My lips were blue but my face is drenched in sweat.
Great. Just great. Four things to worry about. The under sea trench,
the liquid nitrogen, the heat waves and the highly unstable coach.
“c’mon you scally wags! I want to see swimming! I want to see
tsunamis in the water! Hup! Hup! Lets go!”
We all quickly lined up and started swimming.
After two hours of the demonic practice from the black lagoon, one
of friends said “if you think this practice is hard, its going to be
tough week since this only one practice of ten.”
Finally the curse of the god-dang swim camp was lifted and I threw
back my head and cried “Yes!”
When I got home my mom said joyfully “Did you have fun? I
signed you up for next year too!”
Published on Oct 31, 2011