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The Five day HORROR by Creigh Niebuhr

“Wake up! You’re late! Get dressed and eat! C’mon! Chop! Chop!” I

lifted my groggy, brain-dead head to look at my watch; 4:30. Yikes! I’m


When I arrived at camp I thought “They call this a camp? Only a brain-

dead bat-faced beetle-butt will think this is a camp.” which of Course I

meant the coaches.

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The first thing the coaches did when we dismounted off the bus was to

make us sit down, shut up and listen to their boring snoring talk that

lasted for eternity. I think before coaches become coaches they’re told to

speak long in college. After the insane blabbing, I was told that my room

was 202 and my class was B2. Great, 202 means no television. B2

means two things. One – super hard. Two – Oohashi coach who is

known for a strong sense of teamwork. Teamwork means at least seven

people in my class has to get a best time. “I’m dead, decomposing

dead,” I thought.

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I’m stuck in a homicidal camp with psycho teachers and zombie nerd

students. No escape.

After around two hours of nothing, I thought I’d go insane. I’m not sure

which is worse, the two hour swimming terror or the never ending


Times up. Time to go to swimming practice.

The swim dome is around 2 miles from the hotel but we have to walk

since as I said Oohashi coach is strict. She says that Our warm-ups is the

hike so we should jog. To make things worse there is a type of fly that’s

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called buyo that gives you a really nasty bite that doesn’t go away for

half a year. After one hour of bone-breaking leg-aching jogging, I

thought my knees would pop off right then and there. I felt relieved

when I finally got to the swim dome but after looking more closely, I

thought being hit by an atom bomb is better. The dome looked

abandoned and had roots, leaves and slime mold covered it. Perfect

camouflage. From a distance it would look like any part of the forest.

The dome also reeked of rotten eggs. Multiplied by infinity.

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To get inside of the dome you have to go through a gym. When I went

inside the gym I gagged. The whole gym stank like a sewer except it

also had an odor of tobacco and cigars. I quickly left the building, took a

deep breath and bolted through the halls, sprinted across the coach room

and jumped down the stairs. When I felt my lungs were about to burst, I

put a handkerchief over my mouth and took a deep breath. That was

when I realized the lockers didn’t stink. But the Locker had dangers too.

It was cold! The locker Was used as a refrigerator when there was

no camp. I started to get blue lips, shivers and goose bumps.

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With a lot of effort I finally managed to take off my clothes and

wear my swimsuit without getting frozen, frost-bitten or getting


I walked down the corridor to the showers to wait for the deranged

coach and my idiotic swim mates. When the coach and all the kids

came, the coach ordered us to go to the bathroom. We all took turns

going to the outdoor bathroom that was cramped and messy with

pee, poop and barf. I didn’t want to go to a cockroach farm so I

pretended to go in. It worked!

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When we got inside the dome it was nothing like the outside world.

First of all it was hot! I saw some mushrooms that looked very much

like toadstools were sprouting. It was also very humid. Not rainy

day humid but tropical rainforest humid. The ground under my feet

was sizzling. I also saw steam rising from the pool. I sweat like a

sponge when squeezed.

It was torture to see little kids in the pool. I tried not to look but my

eyes were glued to the sight. I longed to do a cannon ball but if I did

then I wouldn’t be writing this personal narrative.

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After what seemed like hours, the little kids finally finished their

practice and got out of the pool. That was my cue. I jumped into the

choppy, deep waters than quickly jumped out. The water was colder

than I imagined. I thought the water in the pool was liquid nitrogen.

The coach kicked me back into the pool.

Me and my team mates were going to roasted top half and frozen

bottom half and we were going to swim For two hours in the same

condition. My lips were blue but my face is drenched in sweat.

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Great. Just great. Four things to worry about. The under sea trench,

the liquid nitrogen, the heat waves and the highly unstable coach.

“c’mon you scally wags! I want to see swimming! I want to see

tsunamis in the water! Hup! Hup! Lets go!”

We all quickly lined up and started swimming.

After two hours of the demonic practice from the black lagoon, one

of friends said “if you think this practice is hard, its going to be

tough week since this only one practice of ten.”

I groaned.

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Finally the curse of the god-dang swim camp was lifted and I threw

back my head and cried “Yes!”

When I got home my mom said joyfully “Did you have fun? I

signed you up for next year too!”


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Personal Narrative  
Personal Narrative  

my first piece of writing in my 5th grade year.