Don’t Try to Control Others

Timothy 1:7(NKJV) informs us, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” Fear doesn’t come from God, it comes from the devil, and this is very important to know. This verse isn’t referring to the natural tendency to self-preserve and self-protect, it’s referring to the emotions, feelings, attitudes, and behaviors that reflect a lack of faith in God. Our Heavenly Father instructs us in Philippians 4:6(NLT), “Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” Worry and anxiety are birthed from fear. They keep us from enjoying life, and they signal the heavens and everything beneath them that we are not allowing faith to rule but instead, we are allowing our emotions of fear to run the show.

Often, we’re not conscious of the many ways in which fear is governing our actions and behaviors. One of the ways it shows up is in our need to try to control others. To embrace the newness that Jesus Christ has given us, this is one of the areas we must confront, acknowledge, repent from and release. The new life that Christ offers us is a dynamic reality, and it should be no surprise that with it comes our need to change. And not only will we need to change for the better, but some of our relationships will change as well. Our Heavenly Father desires to see us blessed way more than we desire it for ourselves. You might ask, “Well, why am I not feeling and experiencing the kind of blessings I desire for my life? “ The answer to this question is never that our Heavenly Father is withholding blessings. That’s not it. Psalm 84:11(NLT) tells us, “For the LORD God is our

sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The LORD will withhold no good thing from those

who do what is right.” God gave His only begotten Son to die for our sins, so if He offered up His most precious treasure for our sakes, we can be confident that He will freely give us all things. So, the problem isn’t God not blessing us, the problem is in what you and I may be binding in heaven and on earth. God offers us a peace that passes all understanding, and it is available to each of us every moment of every day, but sometimes we abdicate a peaceful path by making choices that lead us away from it. Some of us have an incessant need to control everything, including the people we love. This is almost always motivated out of fear. We either fear for their safety and well-being, or we want them to behave a certain way because we fear they may do something to make us experience emotions we don’t want to. We must come into consciousness about how this is translated spiritually, because it demonstrates a lack of faith. It is often motivated from a fear that God isn’t safely holding us or our loved ones in His hands, and whatever is happening in the moment, Romans 8:28(NLT) declares, “And we know that

God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called accord-

ing to his purpose for them.” God is in control, not us. The only reason that any of us exist is because He has allowed our existences. Acts 17:28(NLT) tells us, “For in him we live and move and exist.” We must remind ourselves of this continually and stop ourselves from trying to control our loved ones and others. We must accept people where they are. You and I are still growing, and we have lots more growing to do. Just as God is being patient with us as we grow and mature in Christ, He is being equally patient with others. He is the One in charge of their spiritual journeys, not us. Our responsibility is to help where we can and not injure anyone along the way. Many believers have not broken the negative habit of trying to love others using the toxicity of condemnation, shame, and blame. That isn’t a Godly strategy, and we must catch ourselves and stop this before we do damage. This is especially true when it comes to children. In Matthew 18, Jesus Christ teaches us about the requirement of humility. The disciples came to him and asked “Who is the great-

est in the Kingdom of Heaven?” In Matthew 18:2-5(NLT), he taught, “2 Jesus called a little child to him and put the child among them. 3 Then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. 4 So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven. 5 “And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my be-

half is welcoming me.” Regardless of our age, we must have the humility of a little child before our Heavenly Father, because we are all children in His eyes. Not only does our Master Jesus instruct us about being humble, but under no uncertain terms should we underestimate how precious children are to him. He warns us to be extremely careful of our treatment of them. In Hebrews 18:6-7(NLT), he warns, “6 But if you cause one of these little ones

who trusts in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea. 7 “What sorrow awaits the world, because it tempts people to sin. Temptations are inevitable, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting.”

Children that are treated badly through abuse and neglect sometimes grow up to be adults that are wounded and repeat these cycles of abuse. This was not their destiny. They might have grown to be a very loving and kind believer in Christ were it not for the adults who caused them to fall into sin later in life.