Page 1

z 40 ROCK Quarterly Magazine Issue No. 6









CONTENTS / Issue No. 6


Donald Cyprian, Entrepreneur, Husband & Father.



20 50 Features 38  40zRock Magazine Anniversary Celebration

42 2 Men Who Rock

Their Careers & Fatherhood

44 Achieve

Is it time for a sales intervention?

46  Chemistry Matters 48 Gents: It’s Important That You Know Your Worth Too

50  Human Behavior + Forgive(ness) How They Work Together?

54  A Woman With A Plan 2




8 In Each Issue 4

18 36

Editor’s Letter

8  Must-Haves: Editor’s Top Picks: A Stylish Gift Guide for Him

1 0  Healthy Living: “If I Could Just Lose These Last 10 Pounds” 5 Tips to Start Your Weight Loss Journey

1 3  Food: A Crock Pot is a Busy Person’s Best Friend

1 4  Entertainment: 3rd Annual Red Tea Party — Make a Change!

1 6

Q&A With Mia: Let’s Get it (W) Right!

1 8

Beauty: The Dapper Pore Guy

20 Fashion: The Importance of a Man’s Shoes


Health: The New Midlife Crisis

24  Relationships: [5] Signs He Wants to be Committed to You

26 Effective Parenting: Men in Education

28 Finances: Money Talk is Good Talk


F orty, Fabulous & Free I Got that Good Good


T ravel Father’s Day Getaways



24 10


GOD HAS NOT GIVEN US THE SPIRIT OF FEAR! This past month, I had the honor of participating in the 14th Annual Metamorphosis Women's Conference. The theme was Say it, See it, Be it! Mind you, I don't consider myself a public speaker, but I managed to get through 8 full minutes of sharing my testimony on being able to dream pass current circumstances. When I was asked to be a part of such a powerful forum, I found every reason as to why I was not equipped to do such a thing. I looked at the other women and thought, this is out of my league. I need some practice! Have you ever been there? Let's keep it real, no matter how confident we are, we can still often times deal with our secret tucked away insecurities. The opportunity to speak, awakened something inside of me, that fear had kept me from visualizing. I recollected a prayer in which I asked "God, please allow me the opportunity to travel the world and to be able to speak and inspire women along the way." I will admit, I did leave out one important thing, in the prayer, that was give me to the courage to stand before people so that I can inspire them! (LOL)

I came to the conclusion, God had already equipped me with everything I needed. It was really up to me to not let FEAR stop me from moving forward. So many times, we allow fear to hold us back. The universe has so many things for us to do, and that's why God assured us in 2Timothy 1:7 that he did not give us the spirit of fear; but of power and of love, and of a sound mind. Because he wants us to know that when we feel fear it is not of him. Speaking, allowed me the chance to see that I can do anything I set my mind to. God is no respecter of persons, if he gave the ability to one he can give it to me. Going forward, I will under no circumstance allow fear to stop me from doing the things that I want to do. When those thoughts of not being enough, or good enough comes to my mind, I know that I am going in the right direction because the enemy wouldn't be messing with me other wise! I pray that we will all continue to move forward in faith. We are all beautifully made in his image. Thank God for another day to make a difference!

Sandra A. Wyckoff Editor-in-Chief

Follow 40zROCK /





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40zROCK Sandra Wyckoff Editor-in-Chief Editing Chief

Melisa Fox Entertainment Editors

Rhonda M. Anderson Kim Evans Lawson Creative Director

Ann Inez Hardell

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS A Life & Relationship Expert, motivational speaker

Jacquie Parish Owner Suga Babes

and author of two books. He is one of media’s go-to

Suga Babes has their own organic and vegan

sources for real and uncut advice on life, love and

based bath and body product line. They also


have a mobile party business. Suga Babes was

Cheyenne Bostock

P 48 / Gents: It's Important That YOU KNOW YOUR WORTH Too

Cheri Alphonse Hayes, ED. S. True to her roots of St. Lucia, Cheri keeps her cultural origins and ancestral foundation alive


Bobby B Photos (cover + page 14, 38, 40)

through language (creole), dialect, events and

the dream of Jacquie's two daughters, Layla and Mya. They told her their dream. She made it a reality! P 36 / Travel: FATHER'S DAY GETAWAYS P 50 / Human Behavior + Forgive(ness) How do they work together?

travel. She nurtures children through mentoring

Merneen Spearman

and teaching. She is employed by the Depart-

An author, minister, speaker, entrepreneur, mom,

ment of Defense Education Activity, Domestic

wife and friend.

Dependent Elementary and Secondary Schools


at US Army Base Fort Stewart, Georgia. P 26 / Effective Parenting: Men in Education

Danielle Johnson Graduate of Hampton University with a Bachelor's degree in Biological Sciences. She is currently employed with Bristol Myers Squibb Pharmaceuticals as a Senior Diabetes Specialty representative. Danielle has also worked in other therapeutic areas such as: Urol-

Charlotte Stallings The author of “I Wish Someone Had Told Me! Financial Lessons Learned the Hard Way” Charlotte is a proud member of the National Speakers Association who has shared commentary for CNN and serves as a weekly in-studio guest on Houston’s FOX 26 Wake-Up Money segment.

ogy, Cardiovascular and Oncology.

P 28 / Finances: Money Talk is Good Talk


Stacy D. Wilson

Rebecca Johnson, Psy. D., PC

giving tips about natural hair, or writing her column

Dr. Rebecca was awarded her Psy.D. and M.A. in

Forty, Fabulous and Free for 40z Rock Magazine, she

Clinical Psychology by the California School of Pro-

is a dedicated English teacher in Guangzhou, China.

fessional Psychology and holds an active Georgia


Psychologist License.

Stacy is a natural hair fanatic, so much so, she started her on blog called Free 2 B Kinky. When she is not

P 32 / Forty, Fabulous & Free: I Got That Good Good



Mia Wright Stephanice D. McKenzie/ Rachel Shuling

As founder of Metamorphosis, Inc., an organization

Award-winning marketer, college educator, certi-

that encompasses the life changing Metamorphosis

fied coach, author, and agent life-altering change,

Women’s Conference. Mia is a powerful inspirational

"Coach Steph" brings more than two decades of

speaker, who encourages others with uplifting mes-

business and marketing expertise to crafting strat-

sages, relevant life stories and life skills that apply

egies that make your relationships work for you.

in both the faith based and industry sectors. She is

Currently, Coach Steph is the Coaching Director for

also a sought after national motivational speaker,

The Relationship Firm, a WhatTheLove Company.

women’s conference presenter, and corporate work

The Relationship Firm is dedicated to fixing all re-

/ faith / life balance coach.

lationship...even yours! For more information, visit, P 24 / Relationships: [5] SIGNS HE WANTS TO BE COMMITTED TO YOU




P 16 / Q&A With Mia: Let's Get It (W)right!


② ⑧ 

Althea Williams Germany

Stacy Wilson China

Do 40'z Rock in your city? If so, find out what it takes to become a coordinator. For more information you can also visit our site Purpose of a Coordinator?  Communicate directly with the Founder  Help promote 40z Rock in your City  Inspire women to get involved in the movement  Coordinate different events and charity functions  Make sure the guidelines of 40z Rock are being adhered to  Set up monthly members meetings for the group

Coordinators should possess the following:  Must be an active 40z Rock member  Excellent communication skills  Strong interpersonal skills and the ability to deal with a diverse range of people  Have the ability to inspire and motivate others  Great organizational skills and the ability to manage a wide range of tasks  Flexible and non-judgmental approach to people

If your city does not have a 40'z Rock coordinator and you would like to become a representative, please send your request to


① R honda Anderson Atlanta, Georgia

②M  ia Garnett

Cincinnati, Ohio

③ C heri Alphonse Hayes Savannah, Georgia

④ D onnetta Johnson Houston, Texas

⑤ K imberly Evans Lawson Atlanta, Georgia

⑥ Y olanda Murray Houston, Texas

⑦ Angela Slaughter

Maryland / Washington DC

⑧ Teresa Washington Cincinnati, Ohio






A Stylish Gift Guide For Him

Father's Day is just around the corner!

Time to start thinking about the perfect gift for the special guy in your life (after all he deserves the best, right?). Gift-hunting can be a real head-scratcher, but stress no more! We did the hard work for you and created the ultimate gift guide that will have dad looking dapper as ever."














West Hollywood 8360 Melrose Avenue Los Angeles, CA 90069 Newport Beach 3732 East Coast Highway Corona Del Mar, Ca 92625 coming soon

Santa MonicA 1631 Montana Avenue Santa Monica, CA 90403 Encino Marketplace Ventura Boulevard at Havenhurst Encino, California 91436 coming soon #sweetladyjane







by Danielle Johnson

As I sat down to write this quarter’s

quick trip down memory lane to Bio

article, I revisited a number of con-

101. All you need to remember is that

versations that recently took place

in order to lose weight, you need to

between my girlfriends and I, staff at

take in fewer calories that your body

the workplace, random women in line

really needs!

at the grocery store checkout, and

there was one line that seemed lyrical

ber of traps that keep that pesky scale

between us all and that was…”If I could

positioned right where it is or sends it

just lose these last 10 pounds!!” I don’t

soaring in the opposite direction.

On a daily basis we fall into a num-

even have to ask you, the readers, have

singing this tune for quite some time! However, I’ll go a step further and be honest with you all. My proverbial 10

Listed below are FIVE of those common mistakes that keep us enslaved to the “bulge”:

{1 } Believing the “Label-Hype!”

pounds is really 20 and climbing…just

Everything that is labeled or

smh, BUT it’s my reality! Nevertheless,

considered “healthy” is not nec-

what I want you all to know is that I’m

essarily true. You must look at

preparing to do what is HEALTHY and

the CALORIES-which is impor-

necessary to turn things around for

tant when it comes to losing

myself…are you?

weight and keeping it off. Dr.

Marion Nestle, PhD., professor

I’m sure that all of us are very famil-

Our bodies have a hard time sensing calories from liquids which can definitely get some of us into trouble from timeto-time!! Whether it’s “Pop” (as my Midwest friends call it) or a sweet, sexy, and sugary cocktail…as I like to call them!! Data cited from the Harvard Nurses

you heard this line before because I’m confident that most of us have been

{2} N o More Sodas Please!

Study II on over 50,000 women found that after increasing their soft drink intake from one or fewer per week to one or more a day added over 350 calories DAILY and put on an average of… you guessed it, 10 POUNDS!! By reducing the number of sugarsweetened sodas/cocktails/coffees can really make a difference in your caloric intake and help shed some pounds. Pass the

iar with the concept of weight loss but

of Nutrition and Food Studies at

I’ll give you a quick refresher! Simply

New York University says “A rule

put, the combination of proper diet

of thumb is to look first at the

(including portion control) combined

calories per serving, then check

Time after time studies have

with exercise creates a caloric shortfall.

the serving size.” Once again, I’ll

shown that not getting enough

There are several metabolic pathways

raise my hand in confession!! I

sleep can be detrimental to your

that the body uses to breakdown the

have looked at the labels with

weight loss hopes and dreams.

stored fat that our bodies hold onto

great understanding and THEIR

When you lack sleep, there are

and then later the byproducts are

serving size does not always

a number of cascading events

released/ expelled through the lungs,

match up to my serving size

that are set into motion that

sweat, and urine. The energy that is

which means there are times

one doesn’t always take into

released from the fat cells is then used

when I am doubling and tripling

account. For example, you eat

to maintain the overall function of the

my serving size right along with

more at night because you’re up

body. Oh well, moving on from that

the calories… Not. Good!

burning the midnight oil. One

H2O please!!

{3} S leep, Where Are You?




study suggests that a “sleepy

and if there are 5 servings per

taking the stairs instead of the el-

brain” responds more strongly to

bag or box, divide the snack into

evators and escalators. Parking in

junk food and also has less abil-

those five servings so that you can

the farthest parking space while

ity to rein in the impulse to eat

stop yourself after one (maybe

shopping. On our lunch breaks,

it. Sleeping to little can increase

two) servings. These are just a few

getting outside and walking

your appetite, can compromise

ideas to get you started! Don’t

around the professional buildings.

your insulin sensitivity (which can

overwhelm yourself; just pick

Studies have shown that 5- 6 min-

definitely lead to weight gain),

one or two to begin with until

ute walks a day add up to about

and affect other hormones that

you feel comfortable to make

100 calories, which translates into

control hunger. A piece of advice,

more changes.

10 pounds a year in weight loss!!

SECOND piece of advice, set “closing” hours to your home office (I struggle with this one). Just one more thing…get homework done as early as possible so that you’ll be able to complete your evening tasks early as well and then Go. To. Bed!! Get those ZZZZZZZ…

{4} I t’s All About Portion Control!


{5} A little Exercise Goes Along Way! I know that our lives are very demanding. Women wear several different “hats, scarves, necklaces, earrings”…you name it and we are wearing it and doing it ALL!! So, it becomes very easy to skimp on exercising daily. Studies have shown that inconsistent exercise or for those of us, who cut back

It can be a challenge to just decide

for longer than usual periods of

to eat smaller portions when

time can’t easily resume working

that has never been your healthy

out again. I can tell you from my

choice. There are several proven

own experience that this is very

ways to help this become your

true. My best friend and I worked

“norm.” One is drinking a 16oz

out every morning at 5am Mon-

glass of water before consuming

day – Friday for months straight

your meal. Do not fill the entire

and then when our lives changed

circumference of your plate. Use

and we weren’t able to make our

smaller serving ware and dishes.

daily morning meetings, we’ve

Eat slower. Take the time to eat a

been struggling ever since to find

bite, put your fork down, and take

our rhythm. So, now we have to

a sip of water. Stop eating from

find other ways to get in exercise

the box or bag. Refer to the labels

outside of the gym. For example,



turn off the TV and Go. To. Bed!! A

I know that some of these traps and tips are not new to you but they serve as great reminders of the “health traps” that await us on a daily basis and how we can combat those challenges. As I continue on this journey to lose my 10-20 pounds, I’m going to sincerely incorporate some of these action items into my day just to get me started, just as I hope you will too. Also, if there are some tips that you’ve found to be helpful during your weight loss journey, please feel free to share them with us! I’d love to write about them in next quarter’s edition. I’m about to start a program that I hope will be a huge SUCCESS for me. Stay tuned!! Remember, we are all on this journey of health and wellness together! Submit your responses to: ✖


A CROCK POT IS A BUSY PERSON’S BEST FRIEND! You’re busy – We get it. Take 30 minutes or less tonight to stop and smell the roses er, garlic. Enjoy this crock pot receipe that will have dinner on the table quick, and you on your way! CROCK POT SWEET POTATO & QUINOA TURKEY CHILI Ingredients 1lb ground turkey 1 large shallot or 1 small onion, chopped 3 garlic cloves, minced salt and pepper 3 cups chicken broth (plus extra for reheating) 28oz can crushed tomatoes 15oz can baked beans (I like sweet baked beans) 1 cup uncooked quinoa, rinsed 1 large sweet potato (about 1lb,) peeled and chopped small 2 Tablespoons chili powder 1 teaspoon cumin


/2 teaspoon salt

Add ground turkey and shallot to a

except toppings, into crock pot then cook

large skillet over medium-high heat

on high for 3 hours, or low for 5-6 hours,

Season liberally with salt and pepper

or until sweet potatoes are tender. Serve

then cook until no longer pink, breaking

with toppings. May need to add more


turkey up as it cooks. Add garlic then cook

chicken broth when reheating. ✖

shredded Monterey Jack cheese, chopped

for 30 more seconds then add to a 6 quart

avocado, tortilla chips, green onions

crock pot. Add remaining ingredients,


/2 teaspoon paprika


/4 teaspoon red chili


pepper flakes

Recipe by





3rd Annual



A portion of the proceeds went to Neuhaus Educational Center for Adult Literacy Scholarships.



Make a Change!


/ Photography: Bobby B Photos /

“40’z Rock is a movement designed to encourage all women in their forties to embrace and celebrate their age, life, health, and community.” On Sunday, February 22nd 2015, these fabulous women came together to celebrate Heart Disease Awareness month; by hosting the third annual Red Tea Party themed Make A Change. Convened at the luxurious Hanover Post Oak above Houston’s Uptown Park, 1750 Sky Lark Ln., these renaissance women came together in wholesome chicness to display a wealth of knowledge concerning heart health in various areas. The point speaker was Dr. Leroy Sterling, MD - Cardiologist and Kelly P. Hodges, Senior Director of Equity, American Heart Association.




With a beautiful spread of finger heart healthy foods and gourmet teas Houstonian women socialized in outright fabulousness.




40zROCK / Q&A With Mia

Let's Get It (W)right! Mia inspires people to embrace spiritual change and live fulfilling lives. Here, she answers your questions.


I am single man lo oking for a wonde rful woman to sh my life with. The are problem — I keep ru nn ing into it with sis and I apologize fo ters, r saying sisters bu t that's who I deal They don't know w ith . their role in a rela tionship and it m difficult because ak es it so they don't LISTEN ! I think this issue be addressed. Ca ne ed s to n you please expl ain to sisters, to st ing they know ev op th in kerything and unde rstand that to a re that kind of attitud al man e is such a turn off ?


Mia W right

tor & M

?'s / 16


A Nobody likes a “know it all” and you are right, that attitude is a turn off to mos t people. On the ot he r ha nd, no one likes generalizations an d stereotypes. My concern with your is that it appears th question at you have catego rized all “sisters” in sampling of wom to the en that you have en countered. Comm tion is key in any re un icalationship. That m eans talking AND – it takes both to listening communicate effec tively. I often tell pe model the behavio ople to r they want. I will encourage you in manner to becom the same e a great listener so that you will be lis to as well. You stat tened ed that the women you have met do know their role in not a relationship. It so unds like you have specific criteria th some at you desire for m ale/female roles. Be able to express th in g ose expectations will help you and tial mate decide ea a potenrly on if you are th e right person and relationship shou if the ld be pursued. Be encouraged, there mate for you. is a godly



nal Spe


Do you have some life pressing que

stions you need to get answers to?


Ask Mia and get it (W)right!


Mrs. Mia, I have been dating my fiancé for about a year and a half. She has a teenage son who is 15 and he really believes he runs her house. It is a nightmare; so much so, that I am ready to call off our engagement. The son causes serious problems in our relationship. We get into arguments because she wants to deal with him on her on. He is very disrespectful, and I have had to literally leave her house to keep from jacking him up. My question is, how can I go into a marriage with a woman who thinks that I am going to be ok in a house with a 15 year old out of control boy that I can't say anything to?


It is important to realize that when you enter a relationship with someone, you are entering a relationship with his or her family as well. Particularly since your fiancé has an underage son, it is of the utmost importance that you have a good relationship with her child(ren) as well. It is not always easy to become a stepparent or to have blended families, but it definitely is possible and can be a fulfilling relationship for both children and stepparents. You and the son need to build your own relationship. The struggles that you currently are facing are likely due to the fact that this young man feels the need to protect his mother. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing; it is just something that you must overcome by building trust and your relationship with him. It is not okay to enter a marriage with the thought that you need to control her 15-year-old son. He is old enough to make personal decisions for himself. Without knowing how long you and the mother have been dating, and how much time and effort you have put into this relationship, it is hard to say walk away or keep trying. If you really love this lady, you will learn to love her son too and you will know what to do.

r thoughts on Mrs. Wright!! I would love to get you for 3 years. I am a hardthis situation. I have been married figures like my wife. I working man, but I don't make six e a problem with the know usually people think men hav house. Really and truly, woman making more money in the s me is how I find that doesn't bother me. What bother for my place as the man myself, very often having to fight thinks because of of the house. I honestly, feel like she che over me. I have her income, it gives her carte blan some of her actions expressed to her my discomfort in counseling she wants but she doesn't see it that way. In ey, but how do I get to blame it on her making more mon it's her attitude? through to her it's not the money


king. I believe there I applaud you for your forward thin that they are comfortare few men who will openly state e. The bottom line is this, able with their spouse earning mor le house. It is unfortunate both of your incomes bless the who that she wants carte to hear that you feel because of this your perspective on that blanche over you. I want challenge feels that her earning thought... Are you certain that she is it that she feels like you power gives her power over you or er way, there must have are insecure about her income? Eith se the both of you to been conversations or actions to cau end miscommunication is make assumptions. The best way to another. Get to the root to openly and honestly talk with one ld be that suppositions of what is really at the problem. It cou truth. I hope that you are keeping you both from seeing the live a happy and prosperand your wife can get over this and


ous life. ✖





THE DAPPER PORE GUY by Brenda Combs-Jefferson


Normally, when we think of men; we think rough, rugged, with a touch of “Denzel.” The condition of their skin, hair, and nails doesn’t play a huge part for some women. In TV ads and magazines, no one ever really, I mean really

ABSOLUTELY! PORE GUY, let’s consider your skin first and we’ll discuss hair and everything else later. There are 3 things that everyone’s SKIN needs, whether male or female: 1. cleanser 2. toner (for balance) 3. moisture In addition, to the what’s needed for outside skin maintanence, let’s also talk about diet needs to help the skin from the inside. But before we do, let me give

discuss a man’s beauty regi-

you the real definition of diet ... it’s not

men. Should “HE,” really have a

every day. It can be healthy or one that’s

beauty regimen?

cutting calories ... a diet is what you eat not so healthy. In order, to achieve or maintain healthy pores (skin), you have to watch what you include in your diet. Greasy, salty, and sugary diets do not work in your favor. These types of diets will have your dermatologist saying “POOR PORES!” Oh, and let’s not forget to drink plenty of water.

››› 18



BONUS FOR MEN [ 6 ] TIPS FOR A SUPERB SHAVE: 1. Carefully put a hot, wet towel over your face for a few minutes before shaving. 2. Give that mug a massage with your favorite shaving cream or gel 3. Don’t shave too close. Use single-edged razors to protect skin from irritation. 4. Shave only in one direction to prevent the ingrown hairs. Shave in the direction of hair growth. 5. Wash with plenty of water. Pat gently with a towel; be gentle 6. Use a moisturizing cream (containing sunblock). ✖

Ahhhhh, s o f res h and s o cl ean! Give t hos e pores s om e good l ovi n ! ! !












It's no secret women loooooove shoes. We do! Yep! Shoes. Why? Because your shoes can say so much about you: Whether you are high maintenance or laid back. Whether you are doing well in your business or not. Whether you take care of yourself or take a more laissez-faire approach. All of these perceptions come from the floor up — it’s all in your shoes.










Q Q Q Q 1 Q Q Q





20 /




2 6









THE NEW MIDLIFE CRISIS by Rebecca Johnson, Psy. D., PC

the middle if they are lucky. But with this

with the demands of friends and family?

career focus comes a new problem: ex-

Try turning off your email notifications

You’ve worked hard to get where you

treme stress and anxiety as a result of the

after a certain time; for most jobs, emails

are and you have the job, paycheck and

pressure to be successful at work. The 40

coming in after 9pm can wait until tomor-

mortgage to prove it. So now what? The

hour work week seems a distant memory

row. Stop texting when you’re with your

largest demographic that comes to my

as people work 50+ hours to secure a

significant other; if they aren’t significant

therapy office is successful men in their

significant paycheck, and their social lives

enough to be with in person, their text

40s. They have great jobs, their own

and emotional stability suffer for it.

can probably wait. Most importantly:

home, nice cars. Some have families or

When we stress at work, it invariably

engage with your partner, listen, and

girlfriends. So why are they coming to

comes home with us. Relationships with

share more with them than just your

see me? It’s what I call the midlife triad:

significant others and children begin

stress at work. Changing the topic to

Stress; Anxiety; and Relationship issues.

to deteriorate as we bring home the

something non-work related is not only

stress of our jobs. People become more

good for your relationship, but good

traversing their 40s isn’t dealing with our

irritable, spend less quality time with

for your mental health!

father’s midlife crisis. They aren’t run-

their families, and their sex lives suffer

ning out to buy cars they can’t afford or

as a result. With little time for cuddling,

time to ENJOY the benefits! ✖

leaving their wives for 22 year old exotic

let alone intimacy, it can be very hard

dancers. People today often see 40 as

to be successful, happy, and 40. So how

Dr. Rebecca M. Johnson is a Licensed Psychologist.

only the beginning of their careers, and

do you balance the demands of the job

Men being successful and 40.

The group currently coming into and

22 /


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Need to know whether he’s serious, or you’re just wasting your time? Here are 5 signs he wants to pursue a committed relationship with you that can help decide what your next step should be…

24 /


SIGN #1: He is happy to volunteer

you don’t feel convinced, listen to your

ship with you. If he doesn’t bring it up,

information about himself to you.

intuition and proceed with caution.

it means he hasn’t made up his mind

A man keen to pursue a committed

about you yet. In this case, you can

SIGN #3: He has very little interest in other women.

either choose to be patient and wait, or

from you­—especially when you ask. He

When a man truly loves you, it doesn’t

the matter. When you start seeing other

won’t kick up a fuss and accuse you of

matter how attractive other women

guys, he will naturally bring up the topic

being controlling when you casually ask

are…he will only be interested in spend-

if he’s mad about you.

him who he’s meeting, where he’s going,

ing time with you. You will know how

what he’s doing, etc. He feels happy that

keen he is in pursuing a committed

you take an interest in his life, and is

relationship with you because he keeps

eager to share even more of it with you.

making up reasons to spend more time

relationship with you is happy to tell you all about himself. He won’t hide things

move on. Don’t be the one to bring up

Sign #5: He brings you to meet the people he loves and respects—and they’ve heard about you before.

with you. If you notice that he’s been

If a man talks about you to the people

SIGN #2: He looks at you tenderly

spending so much time with you (for

he loves and respects, it means he can’t

when he says “I love you”.

more than six months) that he can’t be

stop thinking about you. When he can’t

A man who feels strongly about you and

dating anyone else, it’s a strong signal

stop thinking about you, he will eventu-

desires to marry you can’t keep his eyes

that having a long-term relationship

ally realize whether he hates the idea of

off you. He desperately wants you to

with you has crossed his mind.

you seeing other men or not. If he wants

know how much he loves you…which will exude from his eyes. He gives you his full attention when he says “I love you” — so you never have to wonder if he’s telling the truth or not. Another good sign that indicates he’s serious is if he declares his love before you do. Use your female intuition to tell whether he’s sincere. If

to pursue a committed relationship with

SIGN #4: He specifically tells you

you, he will act quickly and ask you to be

that he wants to pursue a committed relationship with you.

his girlfriend or wife. A guy who’s serious

If he suggests the two of you be an

about his intentions. You’re too precious

exclusive couple, and talks about what

for him to lose. ✖

about you won’t keep you guessing

exclusivity means to him, he clearly wants to pursue a committed relation-





One of the hardest jobs as a principal is making sure there’s equity in everything that’s done and “knowing” you cannot please every single faculty and staff member, all the time. Here’s my favorite administrator thus far, after my 25 years’ experience in education and four years under his administration. I was certain I could count on him for advice, professional development and support with genuine concern and confidentiality on any topic. With his open door policy, strong communication and motivation skills he has served as my mentor, heard my voice (not always in agreement), held me accountable and developed me as the teacher I am today. Thank you Dr. Foster, for the role you have played in my career. Your leadership skills are second to none!

kt t A+

26 /






Mr. Jose Cruz 21 Years in Education

Mr. Brian Enoch 18 Years in Education

Dr. R. L’Heureux Lewis-McCoy 12 Years in (Higher) Education

Mr. Kennedy McGruder 8 Years in Education

Mr. Steve Parker 14 Years in Education

Mr. Charles Perryman 8 Years in Education

Mr. Bernard Rose 22 Years in Education

Mr. David Weight 22 Years in Education

Mr. Braulio Zayas 16 Years in Education

Mr. Jeffrey A. Sparling  

13 Years in Education





MONEY TALK IS GOOD TALK by Charlotte Stallings

“You’ve got that right!” I yelled at our television when I saw a Bank of America commercial on the screen the other day. It said, “The best way we can help people understand money, is to start a conversation about it.” More under my breath this time (so I wouldn’t freak out Tito, our Yorkie) I mumbled, “That’s so true!” You see I believe if more of us would talk more openly about money, especially at home with our spouses and children, this issue of money (how to get it, keep it, spend it and grow it) wouldn’t be so elusive and overwhelming. We can start up conversations with complete strangers about sports, the weather and our favorite Netflix shows, but when it comes to money, sometimes we tip-toe around it or downright avoid it altogether.

I fully understand that some topics

when I got to stay up late on some

are taboo in the course of general

weeknights with my mother after my

conversations, such as politics, religion,

younger siblings were asleep. It was

and yes… money. These topics can be

during these late night snack sessions

off limits because they trigger deep-

when my mom showed me how she

seated emotions, which generally are

juggled earnings from her bank job to

tied to upbringing, backgrounds and

make ends meet. We’d talk about school

experiences. I don’t know about the first

and the neighborhood news while

two, but I can tell you that the more you

munching on cookies, and then she’d

make all aspects of money an openly

start opening envelopes and pulling out

discussed subject in your life, the better

these little pre-folded pages that had

off you will be.

numbers printed all over them. She’d say,

My first memories of money

“Charlotte, this is the light bill. Right here

conversations go back to when I was

(while pointing at numbers and circling

in 6 grade. I thought it was cool

them with her pen) it shows how much


28 /



Is your family talking about money openly? If not, make it a priority to start doing so today. Remember, money talk is good talk!

••••• is due, but we don’t have enough to pay it all this time, so we’ll send them a check for this much.” Sometimes she’d even let me write out the check, stuff it into the return envelope, seal it shut and put the stamp in the corner. It was during those times that I felt really grown-up and really money-smart.

So I was introduced to bills, how to

pay those bills and stretching a dollar at a young age, but we never really talked strategically about money in our house. I was good at juggling money to meet expenses because my mother had taught me well, yet I didn’t understand the importance of saving and growing money. It’s not that saving wasn’t important, but after the bills were paid, there wasn’t too much money left over, and consequently there wasn’t too much to talk about either.

Since then, I found out we weren’t

alone. I thought we didn’t talk about money because we didn’t have much of it, but I’ve discovered that middle class and affluent families also didn’t talk about money. Several years ago I had the honor and privilege of meeting and working with Barbara Stanny, the author of Prince Charming Isn’t Coming.

Barbara’s father and uncle founded

H&R Block. She grew up wealthy and in a home where there was an abundance of financial knowledge, yet the topic of money was not commonplace around the dinner table. When later in life she found herself as a divorced, single parent


Here are some suggestions that will help you integrate the subject of money into daily conversations. Doing so will make the mechanics of your financial decisions open for inspection and discussion in your family.

» TAKE TIME FOR MONEY HUDDLES Money Huddles are scheduled, designated times (weekly or monthly) when you meet with your spouse, roommate(s), or entire household to specifically discuss money. They are just as important as a business meeting you might have with your boss at work. They are most effective if the discussion focuses on budgets and planning instead of criticizing, blaming or judging. This is the time to be clear. Talk about your current spending, existing debt and anticipated expenses. Review any areas that are challenging or need review. It’s also important during the huddle to celebrate your wins and successes (only bought two coffees this week instead of six, took lunch to work every day, paid off a bill, made a big dent on a credit card balance, increased your savings account, etc.). Setting time aside to discuss money allows you to honor your agreements and to communicate without being rushed or distracted.

» THE BIG FAMILY PURCHASE The next time your family sits down for a meal together, have a conversation about a significant purchase you’ve got planned in the future. Start with this statement, “I know that we need a new__________. That costs about x dollars, I think that if we save x amount for x weeks or months, we should be able to afford it. What does everyone think about that?”

» VACATION PLANS Or how about the family vacation you’re planning. “We’ve been talking about taking a vacation for awhile, let’s do it in June. Now let’s go around the table and everybody give a couple ideas for ways that we can start saving now to be able to pay for it.”

» THE MONEY JAR Put an empty jar or container in the kitchen or family room where it’s visible to everyone. At the end of every day, family members empty change from their wallets and pockets and put it into the jar. At mealtime, have discussions about what the family should do with all the money saved in the jar when it’s filled up.

with zero in her trust fund, she had to




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face it, even the most general, innocent

money in order to make a living.

money comment can put us on the

this isn’t an easy thing to do!” Trust

So why is talking about money,

defensive and make us feel judged or

me, I feel you 100%. The task of talking

among family or friends, so difficult?

uncomfortable for all sorts of reasons.

about money hasn’t been easy for me

Could it be that money conversations

either, and even today it can be tough. I

can disrupt family harmony? A recent T.

or not, I have come to understand the

wish someone had told me that talking

Rowe Price survey discovered that parents

importance of integrating conversations

about money is an open, healthy, and

find it easier to talk to their kids about

about money into your life on a regular

important part of family life.

drugs and alcohol than about the family

basis. Among other things, financial

finances. Could it be that many money

conversations teach important lessons

talks cast a light on our spending habits,

about saving and goal setting. When

which showcase our financial progress

my girlfriend Carolyn and her husband

and successes, or those sometimes

decided to open an art gallery together,

embarrassing financial failures. “In our

they talked about their goals and they

culture, money and work are closely tied

set up a budget. Together, they agreed

to our identities,” says Dalton Conley,

to forego extra luxuries, like fancier cell

Ph.D., dean of social sciences at New York

phones, to meet expenses. By talking

University. “Money conversations have

openly and committing to honest, timely

a distinct moral tinge to them, which

communication, they made their budget

makes people uncomfortable.” Let’s

– and their business – work.

30 /


As an adult, whether uncomfortable

I can hear you saying, “But Charlotte,

LESSON Whether you have a lot of money or a little, discuss it. Talk to your spouse, your roommate, your children – whoever is a part of your household. Talk about why you need it, what you’re planning to use it for, what you don’t need or want, and how you’re going to use it to save or pay off debt. Talk about money! ✖ Charlotte Stallings is a Financial and Personal Accountability Expert.


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I GOT THAT GOOD GOOD by Stacy D. Wilson

Growing up in the

South I was fed quick witted wisdom to replace lengthy lectures. Saying likes “I’m not fatting frogs for snakes,” or “Don’t take no wooden nickels” was how wisdom was dropped in my house. A simpler yet common idiom shared by family was “If it seems too good to be true, it is.” All shared to protect, out of love.

32 /


However, age, time, and my commit-

to remold your mind. God tells us to not

ment to truth have motivated me to

be transformed by the world, meaning

ent, asking. His word says you have not

challenge everything, verifying it to be

guard your mind to outward influences.

because you ask not. I remember being

either fact or fiction. Some sayings I’ve

He further instructs to renew your mind,

disgusted with random low paying jobs

come to find out are as right as rain and

saying to be trainable to accept the truth.

which motivated me into asking for help

others are not. Such as the “too good to

in obtaining my college degree. I also

be true” old adage. This statement says

to allow in the truth it’s important to

remember feeling like I had exhausted

that if I have the opportunity to get ex-

know what I want. This idea may sound

all creative career possibilities in Dallas

actly what I want or if the blessing comes

simple but this requires one to be as

before asking for assistance in moving

easily, it is in fact dangerous, damaging

detailed as possible. No one walks into

to California. Or feeling numb after an 11

and opposite of what I want. I’m not sure

nail salon, simply requesting to get

year stint in Los Angeles before asking

where this saying, which sounds a lot

their nails done. There are a number of

God to help me think bigger than my

like a curse, originated from but to me it

services that can be provided, once the

current situation leading to China falling

sounds faithless and limiting.

customer knows what they want. It’s the

in my spirit. There is nothing like dis-

same when you put your order into the

satisfaction to unearth hidden desires.

fixed on mantras rooted in fear, prayers

Universe. Through meditation, contem-

Although dissatisfaction is not always

went up and immediate answers poured

plation, research and being connected

necessary to create new goals for your

down. This scared me into vacillating

to God, you will find it easier to decipher

life, I feel God allowed it to be the driving

whether it’s foundation was rooted in

what you want as well as what is needed

force behind me coming correct with

good or bad. What happened next should

to obtain what you want. God is living on

Him to ask for what I felt I needed to take

come as no surprise… the blessings dried

the inside of all of us. His desire is to expe-

our experience to the next level.

up and poofed into thin air. Stamping

rience life through each of us individually.

the “too good to be true” saying as truth.

This gives me comfort and confidence in

in what is asked for. It’s been said that

Not because of its legitimacy but simply

knowing that my question of what I want

sometimes God will give you what you

because of self-fulfilled prophecy.

will be answered. He wants to have a mul-

want, and then whip you with it, when

titude of experiences through me as well

what is desired is not his perfect will.

the first order of business is to have an

as you. So when I feel passionate about

Being a glass half full person, I don’t sub-

open mind. It might seem hard to reboot

doing something, I know that it is really

scribe to that philosophy. However, there

your mentality but you have an infinite

Him urging me to have the experience

should be a willingness to be led into

unlimited power inside you helping you

for He and I.

truth and the truth is that as a follower

Nevertheless, in my earlier years,

However, in order to receive good,

Once I’ve opened my mind enough

Bringing me to the third ingredi-

Still, there are no rights or wrongs

❝The only mistakes made are the ones from not trying.❞ 40ZROCK.COM



of God, all things work for good because

found in the dictionary? This is a pow-

I love him. So, if I make a declaration

erful admirable quality when it’s not

with new found courage and faith, which

of what I want and it’s provided but

confused for arrogance. Besides we are

positioned me to find new opportunities

somehow doesn’t work out, so be it. The

heirs to the throne, being born of Him

in a multitude of areas. Some of which

only mistakes made are the ones from

which means that we have joint owner-

are business, romantic and spiritual. All

not trying. Most divorced women, such

ship to everything that is God’s. He owns

of which came to me after knowing that

as myself can understand this principle.

banks, land, people, etc. The world is lit-

I wanted to explore the world, asking

There is beauty in everything because

erarily His and through joint ownership

for the perfect job for me, believing

everything that happens is allowed by

ours. There’s nothing too big or great

that God would answer and having the

Him, even pain. The lesson or growth

that can’t be accomplished or obtained

courage to accept the offer. After a year

that was apprehended from the pain

through God and by God for us.

of living in China I have no regrets but

was the real “good” to be used towards

instead a legacy to share with the world

the “greater good”.

one must be ready to receive the goods.

about God’s faithfulness to his word

Being in my fortified forties I now know

and the powerful of prayer. Just in case

be expected without wavering, lead-

that the Universe loves speed, just as

you might be reading this and think

ing to the belief that the prayer will be

much as God yearns and desires our

that perfectionism is required to obtain

answered. This pleases our father, who

trust in him. He tells us that just like

whatever your good good is, know that

talks about His disdain for people who

parents give good gifts to their children,

it rains on the just and the unjust. Not to

are lukewarm. In this, it is expected that

so does He. Your trust will determine the

say that one should run amuck in hea-

we emit a certain level of passion behind

magnitude of the blessing. Whatever you

thenism expecting a thunderstorm of

what we believe, like we know it, feel it

look for, you will find, so if you’re looking

blessings. But humbly put if he can do it

and without a doubt expect it. This takes

to be disappointed by an opportunity,

for me, He can do it for you. After all, like

faith and knowing that we deserve it.

a blessing, a prayer answered immedi-

Beyonce’s song No Angel, “, I’m no Angel

The condition of our self-esteem is no

ately, chances are the Universe will not

either but atleast I’m trying.” Instead I’m

one’s responsibility other than our own.

disappoint. However, when you receive

simply a messenger sent to share and in-

After all, self-esteem is the “esteem of

without fear, this sends a message to the

spire. So know that nothing is never “too

yourself” as Kat Williams so comically

Universe that you are grateful for the

good” for you. For God came in human

coined it. It seems that the Millennial

goods. This sets up an account to receive

form to so that we could have the good

Generation gets this. Who else could

more answered prayers which will allow

life and have it more abundantly. ✖

invent the concept of a “selfie” which is

you to accomplish more at a faster rate

a newly created word that can now be

taking your life to the next level.

Next, whatever is expected must

34 /


Lastly after all seeds are planted,

Since moving to China, I feel rich

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FATHER'S DAY GETWAYS by Jacquie Parish

Five special travel destinations with dad in mind.

(1) JUPITER, FL Jupiter, in Palm Beach Country, Florida, is an ideal Father’s Day destination for its numerous attractions and recreational activities to choose from. It’s also known as one of America’s happiest seaside towns, as ranked recently by Coastal Living Magazine. Fathers can head to Jupiter for a low-key getaway at the Jupiter Beach Resort & Spa where they can explore the area with the resort’s complimentary bikes, go climb the 1860 Jupiter Lighthouse or take sunrise or sunset paddle boarding/ kayaking tours down the Jupiter inlet.


(2) CLEARWATER BEACH, FL Since it’s both affordable and accessible, Florida makes a good choice for a getaway. If Jupiter didn’t make the cut, try Clearwater, another ideal spot for fathers to celebrate Father’s Day. Located along a 700 feet of sugar-sand beach, Sandpearl Resort offers a variety of unique activities for fathers to do such as sailing, sandcastle building, s’mores at a private fire pit on the beach (yum) or an astronomy night on Sandpearl’s boardwalk. Other fun options include taking a behind-thescenes tour at Clearwater Marine Aquarium or taking a stroll along the beach to Pier 60, where there’s a nightly sunset festival perfect for kids, tweens and teens.

36 /








Hilton Head Island was voted as the ninth best island in the U.S. by Conde Nast Traveler Magazine’s Best in the World 2011 Readers’ Choice Awards—with good reason. With so much to see and do (not to mention 12 miles of public beach), it makes a great Father’s Day destination. Nestled within the quaint Port Royal Plantation, the newly renovated Westin Hilton Head Island Resort & Spa makes an ideal base for outdoor-loving dads. The resort’s Hilton Head Bike Package in particular will have you and dad explore the scenic low country of South Carolina, boasting miles of paths, colorful botanicals and flora, and hard-sand beaches.

If a beach vacation is the way to Dad’s heart, there’s no better place than the gorgeous Caribbean island of Anguilla. Exotic but accessible, if pristine white sand and turquoise waters are what you’re after, this is the place to be. Check in at Cuisin Art Golf Resort & Spa home to an 18-hole championship golf course designed by renowned golf pro Greg Norman. Play a few rounds while taking in sweeping views of the Caribbean Sea and having a great time playing golf together (we suggest letting Dad win). Fathers can also scuba dive, rent mountain bikes to explore the island and unwind and refuel at one of the resort’s five world-class dining venues.

(5) ZAMBIA, AFRICA For something more exotic, the adventurous (or travel-loving) father can head to Zambia for an once-in-a-lifetime vacation. Start your unforgettable trip at the Zambezi Sun, in a prime location on the banks of the stunning Victoria Falls, one of the natural wonders of the world. The vibrant, family-friendly resort is perfectly located to experience all the area has to offer: elephant-back safari rides through Mosi-oa-Tunya National Park, white-water rafting, a canoe safari on the Zambezi River, game fishing and much more. ✖




40zRock Magazine Anniversary Celebration 40z ROCKED off it’s new year by celebrating success with a well-deserved ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY party at the fabulous MODIA 5805 Westheimer. The magazine and organization, which is committed to inspiring women in their forties to celebrate life, is fostering a community of daring ladies opposing the doubty and dull images of forty year old women we’ve grown accustomed to. This event was all about embracing your age, life, health and community. This event was also the unveiling of our Anniversary issue featuring Rebecca King Crews. The party would not have been complete without these special people.


/ Photography: Bobby B Photos /

38 /



Special Thanks To

A portion of the proceeds to benefit Neuhaus Educational Center for Adult Literacy Scholarships

Modia // One of the best DJ’s in Houston DJ Magic Man // Kandis Radley with Exspensive Taste Catering // Clinton Jackson with CJ’s Masterpiece // Dextor Rogers with 19eleven // Abbia’s Delights // Simply Shears // Spa Therapyspa




My 40’z Life Inside


by Sandra Wyckoff

The first 40z Rock man to rock our cover feature. There is nothing more compelling than a forties rock man who can do it all! Entrepreneur, Husband and Father. My 40’z

WHAT I KNOW God loves me and wants the best for my life.

My 40’z

BEST ADVICE Everything you do should ultimately bring God glory. You should also work hard to turn your dreams into reality.

My 40’z

BIGGEST MISTAKE My biggest mistake ultimately became one of my greatest joys. I had my son before I was married. Parenting is truly a challenge However, it has taught me to be a better man.

My 40’z

FAVORITE COLLECTION My ties. I have hundreds of them. My favorite designer is Gucci and Burberry.

My 40’z

WHAT I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT 40z I had no idea being forty plus would be this exciting! I realize many people believe after turning forty life is all down hill when, in reality, life is just beginning.

My 40’z

HOW I BALANCE LIFE, MARRIAGE & FATHERHOOD It’s imperative as a husband and father to set aside time for family. I make my days off special. I’m always making sure my wife feels loved and knows I will always put God first and my family next to Him. Even on my busiest work days I call my wife and son to check on them. I always want them to know I am thinking about them. I thank God I have them.

My 40’z

WHY MY 40z ROCK I have an opportunity to make sure my son doesn’t make the same mistakes I did. It’s like having a second chance at life. ✖

/ Photography: Bobby B Photos /

40 /







Their Careers & Fatherhood 1

2 42 /



2 LEROY JONES, JR. ❱❱ Radio Host / Motivational Speaker / Emcee The esteemed host of the DC based radio show Ask, Talk &


Listen with PoliticalJones. The popular show offers a unique and

A 44 year old Army Judge Advocate in the US Army currently

up close and personal perspective on major current events,

stationed at Shaw Air Force Base. Paul is the proud father of

newsmakers, celebrities, and the “common folk”. Ask, Talk &

Xander, a five year old full of energy. Being a father can be

Listen—a weekly nationally syndicated 30-minute radio show

a wonderful thing, once you get past all the gross stuff, all

can also be heard anytime on

the stressful events, the loss of privacy, and the bewildering

numbers of ways you can screw it up. But other than those few

radio segment; The PoliticalJones Report with Leroy Jones,

things, fatherhood is wonderful.

Jr. which can be heard nationally every Wednesday on the

American Urban Radio Networks ( ) on the

As a career Soldier, Paul has dedicated his life to serving

Mr. Jones is also the host of weekly nationally syndicated

his country while attempting to balance the responsibilities of

show “Issues and Opinions” and can be heard on the airwaves

fatherhood. That balancing is complicated even more by the

on over 175 radio markets across the country.

fact that Paul is divorced from Xander’s mother, and they share

physical custody. Divorced parents are well aware of the diffi-

cuts through red tape and breaks down barriers to his listen-

culty in maintaining a daily, active presence in the lives of their

ers, affording them understanding of 21st century political

children, particularly when the children’s primary resident is

processes. Maintaining a powerful, humble voice, he shares his

with the other parent. The separation is even more pronounced

professional and personal philosophies with audiences across

for Soldiers because of their frequent relocation and deploy-

the country—capturing every open ear.

ments. Paul knows this all too well. Paul has tried to compen-

sate for the physical distance and separation by maintaining a

has worked as a legislative aide in both the United States

daily presence through telephone and video calls combined

Senate and the United States House of Representatives giving

with spending as much time with his son as possible when he

him the unique experience of working on both sides of Capitol

is not deployed.

Hill. Shortly after leaving the “Hill”, he accepted a political

appointment to work at the White House for President William

Paul did not know his father growing up so he under-

Coining the term Commentary for the Common Folk, Jones

With a successful 25 year career in Washington, D.C., Jones

stands, as much as anyone, the importance of having a strong

J. Clinton.

father figure in a young boy’s life. Even though Paul cannot see

his son physically everyday he strives to let him know that he

Carolina Central University, and Howard University School of

loves him unconditionally and there is no one more important

Law. He is a member of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc., and the

to him in the world.

proud father of two children—a son and a daughter.

Paul’s advice to all young men would be if you become a

Born and raised in North Carolina, he is a graduate of North

Life rocks because I had the best parents in the world. I

father, no matter the circumstances, ensure that your children

take my role as a parent serious. My parents raised me to be a

understand that you love them unconditionally and are there

good human being. I carry that legacy on by raising my chil-

for them regardless of any physical distance.

dren with those same values as well. ✖




by Charlotte Stallings

Is it time for a sales intervention? As in the reality TV show Intervention, sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom before we realize we need help. In sales, it’s no different, maybe you haven’t been winning business, you’re at or near the bottom of the ranking reports, or you find yourself on a performance improvement plan. A sales intervention may be warranted at a company level if your sales are consistently flat (year-over-year, or from one quarter to the next), your sales strategy changes frequently, or you’re experiencing frequent turnover of sales staff. Before you find yourself sitting on a sofa listening to people read you letters, here are three things you can do immediately to turn sales around.




Ask for the business. Statistics have shown

From your list of satisfied clients, ask your con-

that many sales people feel awkward about ask-

tact person who they know that could use your

ing for the business or closing the deal. Think

product or service. You will be surprised at the

about it; you have asked all the right questions

number of people they know who are part of

and answered them to the clients’ satisfaction,

the same trade association or industry forums.

and now it’s time to ask for the business. You’re

If you have done a good job, these individuals

hoping the client says, “Where do I sign?” Yet

can be an outstanding referral and reference

they are waiting on you to ask them for the





Asking the right questions is key! Too many

1. “It  sounds like you’re ready to move forward, let me explain the implementation process.”

sales people want to talk about themselves, their years in the industry, their accomplish-

right questions is key to advancing the sale.

2. “Besides yourself, who else needs to be involved in making the final decision?” (If others are involved, look at calendars and schedule the next meeting in their presence.)

Consider asking questions that are strategic

3. “When would you like to get started?”

ments, or their company. Remember, you were brought in to solve a problem, and asking the

and explore the client’s main objectives. For example: 1. What are you trying to accomplish? 2. W  hy have you decided to change from your current product or service? 3. What are your key priorities and objectives? 4. H  ow will you define a successful product or service that is meeting your needs?

Remember, the close doesn’t always happen at the end of the meeting or conversation, be ready to ask for a next appointment, or the business, at any point throughout. ✖ If you need help turning your sales around, contact Ron Stallings today. Call 832-484-9697, email or visit

By the way, if you’re doing most of the talking, you have already lost! The client should be speaking 80% of the time.

“Ron Stallings helped our company increase sales over 20% in the first year. His experience, sales knowledge and strategies, and professionalism make him a great resource to help your company improve sales also. ~ Anthony Newton, President/CEO Kaduceus Inc. 40ZROCK.COM



Chemistry MATTERS by Mena Freeman

46 /


You can’t force chemistry to exist where it doesn’t in the same way you can’t deny it when it does. ~ KUSHANDWIZOOM

Yes guys, women are sometimes hard to read. It is a part of our charm. However, if you leave the first meeting with the feeling that she likes you too, go for it. By the way, there is no rule regarding the appropriate waiting time. If you feel the two of you had a great time at that coffee shop, call her later. Perhaps you won’t be able to talk for hours, but a quick chat to say, “I’d like to see you again”, is very much acceptable.

on one time with her. Do something which will allow a casual conversation during the evening. The other activities can come later. Initially, your goal is to get to know her.

You want to know if this lady s compatible with you. The

only way to know is through having conversations and investing some time to the cause. Invest in having stimulating conversation and spending some quality time with the lady. If you find that she is the one, the time spent in the beginning will also hold the best memories. Also, if she is not the one it is always best to find out as soon as possible.

Most often if you feel that connection, so does she. Do not

be insulted if she cannot spend two hours on the phone. You

Enjoy your date. Even if she turns out not to be the lady of your

will know if she is open to continuing to get to know you. We

dreams, there is always something to learn from each experi-

women are great at giving the signal. If during that first date

ence. Do not dismiss her because she does not appear to be

there is laughter, flirting, eye contact with lots of smiles, then

your type. She may not have the body type that you think that

that is a good signal guys. Go for it.

you require. But she may be the most interesting lady you have

ever met. Have an open mind.

Now sure during that conversation there was talk about

Finally on this subject, remember life is so very short.

what you each like to do. I suggest, if your thing is skydiving,

don’t do that on the next date unless of course she also sky-

really know her. Expect something wonderful. Get BACK IN

dives. Be sure and find out several things that she likes to do.


It’s likely one of those things you enjoy doing as well. Get a

Go someplace interesting and quiet. Be polite. Get to

Let me know how it goes. ✖

few ideas of something that the two of you can do together. If she likes golfing, biking and dancing, go for the golfing. What a perfect opportunity for you to spend a bit more one






It’s Important That YOU

KNOW YOUR WORTH Too — by Cheyenne Bostock

48 /


❱❱❱ You should never equate outer beauty to inner beauty and confuse it with substance.

We always warn women about the dangers that come

public figures and they consider themselves high class. Yes, I

with dealing with men, don’t we? We sit them down,

know what you’re thinking, “How do any of the things listed

talk them to death, and even try to segregate them from

benefit me?” I’m glad you asked! As quality men of substance and as leaders, we don’t look for a woman to provide for us,

the male population as if we’re some sort of plague.

chauffeur us, or connect us. As men, we take pride in providing

The reality though is that danger can come from any

for our family and ourselves, getting behind our own wheels,

gender, any angle, and any relationship. The brothers are

and making the connections. Doing these things makes us feel

often overlooked when it comes to these forewarnings

better as a man, so meeting a woman who wants to do it for us isn’t our type of woman anyway. However, there are many

because society expects us to simply know how to pro-

women who feel as if her material things have value to a man

tect ourselves or worst, bounce back after we get used,

and will try to use it as leverage.

abused and mistreated. Today, I’m here to tell you that

just as sure as a woman should know her worth, you too should know yours.

You should never be the type of man a woman can take

advantage of unless she is willing to reciprocate.You should never feel obligated to use your time, money and resources to accommodate a woman who has nothing invested in you. You should never equate outer beauty to inner beauty and confuse

As men, there are two things that we value the most and

it with substance. You should never have to compromise your

that is our money and our time. After all, we work hard to get

beliefs out of fear that a woman will abandon you. You should

the things we have and we shouldn’t have to fork it over to any-

stand firm, know your value, know your worth and partner with

one who hasn’t earned it. There are plenty of charities out there

a woman whohas proven herself worthy.

that we could donate to if we’re feeling generous. You have a

busy schedule and it’s hard enough simply being a man and

setting requirements for a woman. In fact, that should be your

surviving, let alone investing time and money into a woman.

protocol when it comes to dating and relationships. Bringing

For this reason, you should place high value on your time and

something to the table willdetermine whether or not she gets to

money. As you continue to expand your network, you will meet

remain at the table, so pay attention to the value she’s adding.

many beautiful and successful women. Some of which equate

The same way a woman can require you to do certain things to

their success in their career to value in a relationship. They’ve

win her time, you can do the same. Women respect men who

got their college degree(s), nice car, house, great career and

know their value and are bold enough to stand for what they

the list goes on an on. They treat themselves to fine dining,

believe in. If you don’t know what your value is, take some

trips around the world, they’ve got friends who are well-known

time away from dating and relationships to figure it out. ✖

There’s nothing wrong with a man having standards and

❱❱❱ You should never feel obligated to use your time, money and resources to accommodate a woman who has nothing invested in you.




Human Behavior



ď ¨work How do they together? by Jacquie Parish

50 /


What is human behavior? Human behavior refers to the array of every physical action and observable emotion associated with individuals, as well as the human race as a whole. Some behavior changes with age.

What is Forgiveness? How do you forgive? What does it mean to forgive? Forgive means to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong); to stop blaming (someone); to stop feeling anger about (something); to forgive someone for (something wrong).

Human behavior suggests that people are “hard-wired”

the highway.” We tend to let ourselves off the hook and give

to retaliate when they have been hurt by another person. Our

ourselves permission to fail.

pride or self-esteem is injured. Our expectations or dreams are

disappointed. We lose something very valuable to us. We want

the same things that they are doing.

recompense for the damages.

tion Error”. We assign total responsibility or blame to others

But there are other resistances which block our motivation

We tend to judge others harshly when we can do some of This is what psychologists call the “Fundamental Attribu-

to forgive. Automatic thoughts or beliefs impede us from for-

for their behavior while explaining away our own negative

giving others. We tell ourselves, “I won’t forgive because he/she

actions in terms of situational factors. In other words, it’s

never accepts responsibility for what he/she does” or “I would

not our fault because…

be a hypocrite if I forgave because I do not feel like forgiving” or

“Forgiving is only for weak people”.

the error in behavior does not relieve the offending person of

moral responsibility. Forgiving someone does not cancel out

Explanations for behavior can also get in the way. When

It’s important to note that understanding and accepting

someone hurts us or lets us down we tend to assign internal

the consequences of their actions. The goal is to promote em-

causes for behavior to others. We argue that it is based on

pathy and forgiveness and look more realistically at the hurtful

personality or character traits. We tell ourselves, “he’s just so

events from their point of view. This involves thinking the best

forgetful or careless” or “she doesn’t appreciate me” or “she did

of people rather than jumping to harsh conclusions about their

that purposefully”. We judge them harshly. But when we do

character or intentions.

something wrong or hurtful/disappointing we tend to excuse

our own behavior by attributing external causes. In those cases

forgive others) for others can also get in the way of our ability

we say “my child made a mess” or “there was a car accident on

to forgive. We can develop empathy for others by beginning to

Lack of empathy (empathy is the psychological highway to




Forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behavior. Forgiveness prevents their behavior from destroying your heart. ~

change our way of thinking. It is impossible to fully know why a person acted the way that they did. Make room from grace.

You can receive Christ right now by faith

Remember GRACE? Grace is something that God grants us daily despite our short comings.

through prayer. Praying is simply talking

When have you been able to have empathy for someone

to God. God knows your heart and is not

who has hurt you? Ask yourself “do I want things bitter or bet-

as concerned with your words as He is

ter?” Forgiveness has a huge impact on our own health and

with the attitude of your heart. Here is a

feelings. Forgiveness is not so much about the other person as

simple yet powerful prayer:

it is about our own hearts. Forgiveness is for our benefit, but so often things get in the way. Think of a time when you have

Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally.

needed forgiveness.

Thank you for dying on the cross for my

Don’t let resentment imprison you for life; it will destroy

you and your other relationships. Lewis Smedes wrote: “To

sins. I open the door of my life to you and

forgive is to set the prisoner free…and to discover that the

ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord.

prisoner was you.” Let go of the pain. Give it to God. For God

Take control of my life. Thank you for for-

alone understands more than anyone the pain and humilia-

giving my sins and giving me eternal life.

tion you feel. Jesus felt more pain, rejection and humiliation

Make me the kind of woman you want me

than any person. Letting go of your hurts is often not an

to be. Amen.

overnight experience. It takes time, but as you work toward it you’ll find that it is worth the effort. Ask God to give you the grace to forgive.

The ability to forgive is rooted in being forgiven our-

If this prayer expresses the desire of your heart, pray it

selves. In the Bible it says that God loves the world so much

right now and Christ will come into your life as He promised.

that he sent his only son so that we could be forgiven. As

If you invited Jesus Christ into your life, thank God often

people we all make mistakes, not one of us can live up to the

that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that

standard God set on our own. But God promises that if we

you have eternal life. Now that you have prayed this prayer

accept what Jesus did for us, we can be forgiven. The slate

believe that your life has changed and live like your life has

can be wiped clean no matter what has happened in the past.

changed. Don’t go back to the same things, same environ-

God promises us strength for today and bright hope for the

ments and same friends. As you learn more about your

future. Whatever happened in your yesterdays God can take

relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you’ll

care of all of your tomorrows.

experience life to the fullest. ✖

52 /


Are you in your 40z?





Join and be a 40z Rocker!


Dear Prospective 40z Rocker, When you turned 40, what was the first thing that came to your mind? Honestly…Was it something like, “It’s all down-hill from here or I can now live MY life?” Whether positive or negative, did you realize there are billions of women asking themselves those same questions around the world? Better yet, did you know there was an organization Founded in Houston, Texas that tailored to the needs of women in their 40’z? YES… An organization where you can share empowerment, support, and make positive changes in your community. Women from all walks of life, all beautiful hues and tones, sizes and shapes with a positive outlook on life.The organization is 40’z ROCK, Founded by Sandra Wyckoff; a woman of class, couture, and culture. When she refers to a woman who ROCKS, she is distinctly referring to You, a woman who has done the work on herself, and has reached a level of awareness and balance; mentally, physically, and spiritually. She believes that once a woman has tapped into these areas of her life, then she ROCKS! And when she ROCKS, she can ROCK the world. We are looking for women who ROCK to join our movement. Are you a Rocker? We think so. It takes A Rocker, To Know a Rocker! If you know you have what it takes and would like to Rock the World with us, please visit to find out how become part of this growing movement.




A AN M O W IT H W e er n M by



r pe a



Functional Text �� Psalm 20:4 // “May he grant your heart’s desires and make all your plans succeed.”

54 /


7 PLANNING POINTS 1. A Woman With a Plan –must

follow God, to avoid being self-indulging.(Proverbs 16:3)

2. A Woman Without a Plan – is in danger of Sa-

Women of today have great plans. We plan everything. But the key to our planning should be the perfect will of God for our lives and for those in whom we are planning with and for. Everywhere you look and everywhere you go, there had to have been a plan set in motion for you to even see it and for you to have arrived there. Planning is great and good. We as women, we do a lot of planning, so it is very necessary for us to include God’s plan for our lives in all that we do. Sometimes we can plan without His knowledge and blessing, and of course, this will cause great problems down line and sometimes immediate discourse.

tanic Influence. (Genesis 3:1-2) and a Woman who does not follow God’s plan causes detriment.

3. Prepared Plans-

Put you in Position and helps you to produce (Matt. 1:18)

4. Pop Up Plans- Cause Growth and Applica-

tion. Sometimes you have to plan on the spot (Psalm 119:105)

5. I Plan to…- What are your desires? Identify

and Write your plan. You are planning, even if it’s to do nothing.(Psalm 20:4)

6. My Plans Failed, Now What?-Fear of planning again, after failed plans? (2 Tim.1:7)

7. I didn’t plan on this…But God did! - God

already decided that you would go through whatever you’ve experienced. (Psalm 119:91) (I Samuel 1).

The main focus of this lesson is that we cannot plan anything without knowing and respecting God’s plans.

His plan for our lives is clear and obvious and He has made

them clear through His Word and we cannot ignore these plans and go on with our plans. I am so glad to have a God who understands His creation and has created us to be planners as well. God is an awesome planner with great results. Think about it, He planned your life and countless others. He is a God who is takes care of business. He planned for His Son to die for us on the cross and that took planning.

A woman with a plan is a woman who will produce great

results in the earth for the glory and honor of our God.

Proverbs 16: 3 “Put God in charge of your work, then what you’ve planned will take place.”

A woman with a plan must allow God to take charge of

we must allow God to be in charge of what He has given us to do. God does not tire like us, He does not think like us and He is very faithful and diligent to His promises and His timeline.

Putting God in charge of your work will ensure that it takes

place, according to the text. So, as we apply this scripture to the context of this subject, it provides us with one main reason as to why your plans do not take place. It is because God is not in charge of the work.

No other reasons should be accepted. No matter how you

may have thought that God was in charge, if the plan did not take place; then, He wasn’t in charge. Don’t try to reason it out. You will only be wasting time. Repent and plan to allow God to

your work. Sometimes while planning or even pre-planning,

be completely in charge from now on.

we neglect to put God in charge. We take charge and do not

pay close attention to what we are doing because we are so

that your plans will take place, not your education, training,

busy planning and we become tired and frustrated. This is why

gifts or know how. ✖

I’m stopping now and doing this. Join me. God guarantees




40z Rock Magazine  

Our mission is to encourage women to no longer center life around everyone else and start making a conscious effort to live a life that enco...

40z Rock Magazine  

Our mission is to encourage women to no longer center life around everyone else and start making a conscious effort to live a life that enco...