(CONTINUED FROM PREVIOUS PAGE) messaging—that we are no longer as interesting, attractive, or relevant? “Start with yourself,” says Applewhite. “All change starts within. We can’t challenge bias unless we’re aware of it. Look at your own attitudes toward age. The minute you see a prejudice in yourself, then you start to see it around you.” Pay attention to your moments of unconscious bias, too. For example, it’s really not a compliment to say, “You look great for your age!” Think about it and stop at “great.” Verona Ryan, turning 90 this year, embraces being older. “If you like who you are, that’s part of being happy. What makes you happy makes you beautiful; it will show on the outside. Stay on top of things so you know what’s happening with your body and what’s going on out there in the world.” Ryan was a runner-up for Sweetheart of Sigma Chi in her college days. As a young wife and mother, she read “ladies’ magazines” full of articles telling readers how to look and what to do. “Everything that was written in those magazines was more or less taken as gospel,” she says. Today, Ryan says, “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look good, but it’s the attitude you have about it. Don’t feel like a failure if you don’t measure up to a standard
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that someone else has set. I immediately think they’re just wanting to make money when they advertise that we should look a certain way.” When women broaden their friendships to include mixed ages, says Applewhite, it’s powerful to talk about the forces that are lined up against us that want us to compete, to judge each other. “Older women can remember what it’s like to be young, and how hard it is,” Applewhite says. “And younger women can realize how much of our youth we squander in worrying about losing it.” Sebron-Kelley recently celebrated her 82nd birthday wearing sparkling blue nail polish and a lot of jewelry. “Adorn yourself in ways that make you happy,” she says. “Accept that you’re in another dynamic age group.” Then, as she was leaving for that day’s adventure, she adds, “I’ve been an ’actress’ all my life, but the part that’s real is this arrogant, intellectual, crazy, wild, humorous woman who’s in her ’80s and isn’t ready to die yet. I want to live to be 100.” Priscilla Charlie Hinckley has been a writer and producer in Seattle television and video for 35 years, with a primary interest in stories covering health and medicine, women’s and children’s issues, social justice, and education. She enjoys taking a lighthearted approach to serious topics.
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