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I was sitting down to write my article about something completely different for the issue when the phone rang. It was the campaign office of presidential candidate (insert any name here) calling to tell me that some hardly important person associated in some way with the campaign, who is not actually the candidate, is coming to town for a very special event ... again. This is getting a little old. Whom did I give my phone number to, when, and why did I do that? Huge mistake. The calls have been coming pretty steadily for a couple of months now. At first, I was glad to know when the candidates were coming to town. I like to get a chance to hear them all speak and get a feel for not just what they think, but also how they come off in person. That’s a really important factor. But lately the calls are getting kind of ridiculous. If the candidate himself or herself is going to be somewhere, then no problem, tell me. But I don’t want personal phone calls if their wife or son, or campaign manager is coming to the area. Are you kidding? You’re calling me at home to tell me that someone’s campaign manager is hosting a rally at campaign headquarters and it’s a reason to call the roster and bother thousands of Dubuquers?

even call to tell me about events. They want to know months before a caucus if I know who I’m going to caucus for? I think, like most people, even if I’ve made that call, I’m not going to tell you. I know you’re just trying to help your candidate, but it feels pretty intrusive for you to ask me, especially because if I say I do support your candidate, then you’re probably going to ask me to sign a list of supporters, or volunteer or something. So as I always do, I will offer a solution. I think I will start allocating a point system to political phone calls. If you call with a legitimate event, you get one point. A legitimate event includes the presence of an actual candidate. Nothing else qualifies. If you call with a non-legitimate event you get a point subtracted. If you call just to ask me who I’m supporting, that’s minus two points. And if you call me with a recorded message from some big shot telling me who to vote for, that’s minus five points. Conversely, if you never call at all for a candidate you get 10 points and likely my vote, but then again that also means you have no chance of winning the election because clearly you have a crappy campaign staffed with a bunch of slackers.

I’m not dumb. I know that a big part of this battle is staying constantly in the public eye, so you’re always looking for excuses to put out press releases on a weekly basis and create events showing public support and activity in support of your candidate. And I have it twice as bad because I am, technically, the press. So I get the personal calls AND the press calls. So before I politely go off the handle at someone on the phone for calling me to tell me that Senator so and so’s dentist will be here to discuss the Iraq war, I need to make sure they are just roster callers and not media callers.

I’m pretty sure that whatever small numbers you rack up in the coming weeks, it will not mean much because the recorded messages will hit hard the last two days before the caucus and render early points irrelevant. Kind of like in Harry Potter, where catching the golden snitch in a Quiddich match nullifies all the work the rest of the team went through to score all those goals early in the game.

This is my cell phone. I don’t get random spam calls on it ... yet (fingers crossed). But this is no better. Campaigns are taking way too much advantage of having phone lists. Some don’t

If nothing else, it gives me something to complain about. Otherwise I’d have to rant about Christmas displays going up in September. I won’t say where I saw that, but it rhymes with Kohl’s.

You’re not going to believe this. Someone just came to my front door to canvas for a candidate. They REEEEAAAALLY wanted me to confirm my tendencies. But no dice, I ain’t budgI guess at least they are real people calling. ing. Since it was someone I know, I was real Remember during the last election for Gov- nice. They got lucky. ernor, everyone under the sun called reminding you to go vote, only it wasn’t really them? Maybe if they promised that if I made a choice It was a recording of them. And they called they’d stop calling, I’d tell them who I’m leanthree times a day with the same recording. ing toward. If they’d make that guarantee, That’s annoying the first time. By the third we’d probably have firm support numbers in time, I’m thinking of switching parties. the books by Labor Day.

The 365ink crew... faces you already know!

Tim Brechlin

Mike Ironside

Tanya Graves

Ellen Goodmann

Kelli Kerrigan

Ralph Kluseman

Gary Olsen

Matt Booth

L.A. Hammer

Chris Wand

Pam Kress-Dunn

Joey Wallis


ISSUE # 41

In this Issue of 365ink...

OCTOBER 18 - 31

Jaycees Haunted Forest: 4 Community Events: 5 Main Street Awards : 6 Art Under $100: 7 Arts & Culture: 8-11 Megan Kalmes, Nest-house: 8 Lonestar Christmas: 12 The Music of John Williams: 13 Halloween Parties: 14-15 Live Music Listings: 16-17 Wando’s Movie Reviews: 18 Jef Daniels @ UWP: 19 Mayor Roy Buol: 20 Giving Voice: Pam Kress-Dunn: 21 Bob’s Book Reviews: 22 Mattitude: 23 Linda Olsen Jewelry: 24 Eating Healthy: 25 The A Factor: 26 More Community Shorts: 26 Crossword / Sudoku: 27 Trixie Kitsch: 28 Dr. Skrap’s Horoscopes: 28 Comedy: 30

The Inkwell

) que365.com (bryce@dubue365.com) s k ar P ce ry 3-451-9365 u Publisher: B Brechlin (tim@dubuq dubuque365.com) 56 @ Editor: Tim : Kelli Kerrigan (Kelli dubuque365.com) ce Parks Advertising Tanya Graves (tanya@allis, Ron TIgges, Bry dmann, Ad Design: : Mike Ironside, Joey WTim Brechlin, Ellen Goool, Matt Booth, Photography tent: Mike Ironside, Wand, Mayor Roy Bu on Writers & C L.A. Hammer, Chris Kress-Dunn Brechlin s, k ar P ce , ry oppes, Pam s, Mike Ironside, Tim B K a el g n A k s, ay Kluseman Robert Gelm n & Layout: Bryce Par , Bob & Fran Parks, K Steffen, Sheila ig Graphic Des you to: Jim Heckmann verett Buckardt, Julie y Brechlin, Ron & k an th al You e Blake, E onk, Kat ci pe S Locher, Dav Gabrielson, Christy M s for all your support. d od T , n so er is rt ve Bob John Tom Miller, Renae ad d nds an Castaneda, ges and all the 365 frie ig T er if n Jen , 520015 buque,3IA u D t, ee are all 365. 88-436 tr 5 ) S 6 st

t1 @(5 rved. 210 Wes otline 365 ll rights rese e365 •usi A . ts/Movie H d te en a v E or rp c/ Dubuqu co hone or M munity, In Office P nts (c) 2007, Com All conte

Roy Buol

Ron Tigges

Robert Gelms

Brad Parks

Angela Koppes

Bryce Parks

We’ve hidden 365’s WANDO somewhere in this issue of Dubuque365ink. Can you find the master of movies buried within these pages? Hint: He’s tiny and could be anywhere ! Good Luck! Winners get a free warm fuzzy felling in your belly!


DARKNESS THERE AND NOTHING MORE....

4 OCTOBER 18 - 31 in the past we’d have 2 or 3, and the trail itself is a lot longer. People can expect to spend 25 - 40 minutes along the trail. Within the Jaycees, you’re always getting new people with new ideas, which allows us put unique twists on the Forest every year.” Wagener promises several unique twists this time around, although he swore me to secrecy over the phone after threatening to unleash chainsaw-wielding Jaycees upon me if I talked. Sorry, folks -- you’re going to have to find out for yourselves, because I’m not tangling with even one chainsaw. The evenings at the Haunted Forest begin at 6:30 p.m. with Lite Fright, a tamer version of the tricks and treats planned by Jaycees ghouligans, with admission only $7 for both the child and an adult. The Jaycees Haunted Forest: Boo! by Tim Brechlin The Haunted House is a staple of Halloween; heck, Disney’s Haunted Mansion keeps Halloween going all year round. But in a month dedicated to horror and other spooky subjects, one doesn’t need to go to Disney to get the true horror and fright experience that the month promises. One doesn’t need to leave Dubuque. One need only go to the YMCA Camp. You see, many moons ago, some Dubuque Jaycees had an idea: Embrace the spirit of Halloween ... and scare the everloving bejeezus out of anyone in sight. Being Dubuque Jaycees, beer may or may not have had an role to play in this idea’s inception, but that doesn’t matter -- for more than 20 years, the Dubuque Jaycees have been staging their annual haunts, beginning first downtown, and later moving to the YMCA Camp at 15976 JFK Road in Dubuque ... and they

indeed have been scaring the everloving bejeezus out of anyone in sight. They’re set to do it again, beginning with the release of this issue and continuing on October 19, 20, 25, 26, 27 and 30. It’s a huge undertaking for the Jaycees, reports Jaycee Chad Wagener of Dubuque Bank & Trust. “We start setting the forest up in August every year,” he says. “And once it’s all said and done and finally over, we’re tearing it down into early November. I’ve been at the Forest site every weekend since August, myself.” So, how does the Haunted Forest work? Wagener promises a brand-new trail this year, for one. “It’s a whole new route, which should be a nice surprise to longtime visitors,” he says. “We’re using a lot more of the cabins on the route, 5, when sometimes

“It’s a less-intense route,” says Wagener. “For parents wondering about how their kids would deal with the Forest, I’d say there’s a maturity and a confidence level that you just kind of know with a kid.” After the Lite Fright lines have emptied out ... oh, boy. Then the real fun begins. The Dubuque Jaycees are a collection of some ... interesting individuals, all of Continued on page 31

Rules & Tips To make sure that everyone has fun and stays safe, the Jaycees have a few simple rules to live by during your time at the Forest: - No touching the actors - No running - No smoking - No alcohol - No cameras / phones - No horseplay - Have fun, be safe and have a good time! - Don’t try to act macho and pretend you’re not scared, let go and have fun tough guy! It makes it more fun for everyone.


365INK: THE WHOLE THING IS ONE BIG TREAT!

5 OCTOBER 18 - 31

Family Halloween Events Jaycees Haunted Forest

In case you somehow missed the cover and accompanying story, let us remind you that the Jaycees are out hiding in the woods by the Y-Camp on J.F.K. Road waiting to scare the pants off you or your kids. If you’re afraid it might be too much for the little ones, bring them early for “Lite Fright” which begins just after dusk (about 6:30 - 7 p.m.). Admission for Lite Fright is $7 per child and includes the admission for an accompanying parent. Regular admission is $7 per person. Check the cover story for dates and times.

Pet-O-Ween at Theisen’s

Theisen’s annual pet-themed Halloween party, “Pet-O-Ween” (formerly Dog-O-Ween), is no longer just for the dogs. Scheduled for Sunday, October 28, the event will run from 1 to 2 p.m. Pet owners who want their cute little doggies, kitties or whatever should register beforehand. Registration begins as early as 10 a.m. Prizes will be awarded for 1st through 4th place for an overall best costume with all animals being judged in one category. Registration is just $5, with proceeds going to the Humane Society. Registration forms will be available at Theisen’s and the Humane Society the week before the event.

Kennedy Mall Halloween Harvest

Halloween Harvest, hosted by Kennedy Mall, is a great dress rehearsal for kids’ Halloween costumes. Plus they get to trick-or-treat at pumpkin patches throughout the mall. Scheduled for Saturday, October 20, from 5 to 7 p.m., tickets are just $5 per kid and are available at the Kwik StopDairy Queen locations, Hills and Dales, and at the Kennedy Mall Customer Service Center.

Field of Screams Haunted Corn Maze

The Bahl Family Pumpkin Farm at 6426 Asbury Road hosts the “Field of Screams Haunted Corn Maze” on Friday and Saturday nights in October from 7 to 10 p.m. Light Fright begins at 7 p.m. and the “real terror time” is from 8 to 10 p.m. Presented by the Asbury Athletic Association in participation with the Bahl Family Pumpkin Farm, admission is just $5. The Field of Screams Haunted Corn Maze is open Friday and Saturday nights, October 19, 20, 26, and 27. While you are there you can check out the Bahl Family Pumpkin Festival with activities for kids like a rope swing and petting zoo, crafts, baked goods, a hayride through the Christmas trees and fun for the whole family. Open every weekend in October. For more information call 563-582-1097.

Asbury Halloween Parade

Asbury’s annual Halloween Parade is scheduled for Friday, October 26, at 7 p.m. Participants should lineup at 6:30 p.m. at the Lord of Life Church at the corner of Springreen Drive and Hales Mill Road. The parade route will follow Spingreen Drive to Asbury Park. Prizes will be awarded and treats will be available at Asbury Park following the parade.

Trick-or-Treat on the William M. Black

The Dubuque County Historical Society invites kids to trick-or-treat on the William M. Black, Sunday, October 28, from 4 to 7 p.m. Kids can meet a variety of interesting characters giving out treats throughout this national landmark. For safety reasons, the Historical Society asks that children do not wear costumes or masks. Strollers will not be allowed on the boat. Admission is $2 per person, ages two and up.

Dubuque Community Y Halloween Parade

The annual Dubuque Community Y Halloween Parade returns to slink through the streets of downtown Dubuque, Monday, October 29, from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. The parade will follow the traditional parade route from Jackson Park down Main Street. Always a fun time with loads of great costumes, floats and school bands, the Y Halloween Parade is fun for kids and adults. The rain date is Tuesday, October 30.

Halloween Trick-or-Treat

Yes, the traditional night of putting on a mask and going to your neighbors’ house for candy (or to an even better neighborhood for even better candy) – that’s what we’re talking about! Dubuque’s official Trick-or-Treat night will be right when it should be on Halloween, Wednesday, October 31, from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. Be sure to accompany the little ones and look both ways before crossing the street and all that. Oh, and don’t eat it all in one night, you’ll make yourself sick. If you ration it, you can still be eating Halloween candy at Thanksgiving. (Yeah, that will work.)

UPCOMING EVENT SUMMARY Who’s In Bed With the Butler October 17-20, Grand Opera House (Page 9) Jim Ehlinger, Arthur Anderson Exhibit Opening October 19, Upstart Crow Gallery (Details on page 4) “Anger Mgmnt. Like You Have Never Experienced” October 20, Shalom Retreat Center DMA Needles Collection Panel Discussion October 20, Dubuque Museum of Art (Page 10)

Vatican Exhibit October 20 - 23, St. Columbkille’s (Page 26) ZZ Top in Concert October 23, Five Flags Center (Details on page 19) Dubuque Jayvees Haunted Forest October 18 - 30 (Details on page6) Music of John Williams October 26, Grand River Center (Page 13) Megan Kalmes Art Show October 26, Quigley Gallery, Clarke College (Page 8) Halloween Parties All Over the Tri-States (See feature on page 24) Over the Hedge Special Showing October 27, Star Cinemas (Page 26) Is There a Doctor In the House October 27. Emmaus bibile College (See ad page 9) DSO Halloween Family Concert October 27, Five Flags Theater (See ad on page 11) Tom LaMarr Book Signing October 27, River Lights 2nd Edition (See ad page 9) Over the Hedge Saturday, October 27, Star Cinemas (Details on this page) Broadway’s Peter Pan Musical! Sunday, October 28, Five Flags Theater (See ad, page 11) YMCA Halloween Parade October 29, Main Street (see details on this page) Trick or Treating October 31, Across Dubuque (see details on this page) Art Under $100 Show November 2, Outside the Lines Gallery (Page 7) Jeff Daniels Live November 3, UPW Center for the Arts (Page 19) Van’s Wine Tasting November 7, Timmerman’s 9East Dub (see ad page 7) Sesame Street LIVE! “When Elmo Grows Up” November 20 & 21, Five Flags Center (See ad, page 11) Jim McDonough’s Holiday Grande December 8, Five Flags Theater (Page 9)


ENCHORIZADAS AT SALSA’S... WORTHY OF A MAIN STREET AWARD

6 OCTOBER 18 - 31

AWARDS With so many development projects in process in Dubuque, it’s sometimes easy to lose track of some of our community’s success stories. In an effort to recognize some of those who have contributed to the new vitality of our downtown, development organization Dubuque Main Street honored a long list of downtown projects and initiatives at its recent annual meeting and awards ceremony held at the Platinum Building at 137 Main Street. The 22nd annual meeting was attended by the Main Street board of directors, investors and supporters of the organization.

opment, Promotion and Organization, Main Street works with both the public and private sectors to bring improvement and new vitality to its eight downtown districts. Each year, the organization presents awards in each area of the four-point program for project completed within the last fiscal year. Following are this year’s award winners. Congratulations to all winners from 365 -- you’re part of what makes this community great!

On the smaller side, the award for Best Total Building Rehabilitation under 5,000 sq. ft. went to HHH Enterprises for its work on 180 Main at the Busted Lift. One look inside that building will tell you why -- fires ain’t got nothin’ on the Busted!

The longest running Urban Main Street program in the country, Dubuque Main Street is a 501(c)3 not-for-profit organization and part of the National Trust for Historic Preservation’s National Main Street program. Using a four-point approach that includes Design, Economic Devel-

Answers on page 28

A. Back to the Future B. Minority Report C. The Patriot D. Catch Me If You Can

1. Who plays Elvira, Mistress of the Dark? A. Julie Newmar B. Farrah Fawcett C. Cassandra Peterson D. Bruce Dickinson

6. What were the first wrapped penny candies in America? A. Peppermint Patties B. Gumdrops C. Lemonheads D. Tootsie Rolls

2. What was the most popular Halloween candy in 2004? A. Candy Corn B. Skittles C. Sweet-Tarts D. Milky Way

7. Seeing a spider on Halloween signifies what?

3. Halloween evolved from what ancient pagan festival? A. Lammas B. Beltane C. Samhain D. Ostara 4. In the movie Halloween, Michael Myers is Laurie Strode’s ... ? A. Father B. Brother C. Son D. Boyfriend 5. Which of these famous movie scores did John Williams NOT compose?

The awards began with the design category. The award for Best Total Building Rehabilitation, over 5,000 square feet, went to the Grand Opera House. 365 ran a feature on the Grand’s rehabilitation a few months ago, and it really is just spectacular. The Grand’s Board of Trustees was the named recipient of the award.

8. What is the average life span of the common brown bat? A. 2 years B. 32 years C. 15 years D. 6 - 10 months 9. A unibrow, hairy palms, tattoos and a long middle finger are signs of: A. Vampires B. Witches C. Werewolves D. Angry biker dudes 10. Jack-o-Lanterns originated in what country? A. Germany B. Spain C. The Netherlands D. Ireland

Architect Jeff Morton and R&B Construction were also honored for their work on Steele Capital Management, taking home the award for Best Façade Improvement. The award for Best Public Improvement Project went to the Dubuque Community School District and Straka-Johnson Architects, P.C., for the work accomplished at Prescott Elementary School.

365’s neighbors up at Upstart Crow Fine Art, in the Platinum building, were honored with the award for Best Retail Space Design. And the City of Dubuque, for Old Main & Orange Park, was honored for the Best Public Improvement Project and Streetscape. On the economic development end of things, the work of Conlon Construction, Straka-Johnson Architects, McGladrey & Pullen, LLP, and Hartig Drug Company was recognized as the Best Adaptive Reuse of a Historic Building, while the brand-new McGraw-Hill Dubuque Higher Education Campus, an absolutely gorgeous development in the Port of Dubuque, took the award for Best New Construction. Meanwhile, Jeff Morton, Community Housing Initiatives, the Crescent Community Health Center and Gronen Restoration were awarded the Best Community-Initiated Development for Washington Court & the for-

mer Dubuque Casket Company, the home of Crescent — a valuable health resource in our community, one which we sorely needed. In recognition of the renovations done at The Friedman Group / Fischer Arcade at 880 Locust, the Fischer Companies and The Friedman Group took home the award for Best Upper Floor Redevelopment ... and it’s extremely well-deserved, as they did a fantastic job there.

Ending the economic development awards, there were a whole bunch of recipients for the Outstanding New Retail Establishment award. In fact, it just flatout went to an entire city block! The 1000 Block of Main Street, to be exact, featuring Freddie’s Popcorn Company, hardinphelps, Jitterz Coffee and Café, Joey Wallis Photography, 365 book review sponsor River Lights, 2nd Edition, and the yummy Salsa’s Mexican Restaurant. The promotional awards were divided into two, one for Best Image Campaign and one for Best Special Event. The image campaign award went to the Refinery Design Company, in recognition of its work to evolve the Main Street logo as the group moved into its new digs on the 1000 block. And The Durrant Group, Refinery Design, the Dubuque Museum of Art and the Dubuque Community Schools were honored for their collective efforts on Dubuque Architecture Days. The final category of awards was organization, beginning with the Russ & Ruth Nash Cultural Corridor Award. For the inception of Art on the River, now entering its second season, the City of Dubuque and the Dubuque Arts and Cultural Commission were given the award. There are multiple pieces of art currently installed both along Bell Street and along the Riverwalk ... check ‘em out while the weather is still decent! And finally, the New Office Crew were honored as Volunteers of the Year: Tom Thompson, Denny Wiegand, the Durrant Group, Gerardy Construction, O’Toole Office Supply, the Diamond Jo Casino’s technical crew, Clarke College’s Into the Streets service project volunteers, Dan Abben and Bob Felderman. If you haven’t checked out the 1000 Block, or Art on the River, or the renovated Grand Opera House, or any of the other projects so honored by Main Street ... well, you’re just missing out!


MY TEACHERS NEVER LET ME PAINT OUTSIDE THE LINES.

7 OCTOBER 18 - 31

Gallery Artists Group Exhibit All Art Under $100 Outside the Lines Art Gallery Opening Reception, Friday, November 2

Just in time for holiday gift shopping, Bluff Street’s Outside the Lines Art Gallery will host a Gallery Artists Group Exhibit. The show will represent a range of artists represented by the gallery with all featured artwork priced under $100. Outside the Lines will celebrate the opening of the show with an artists’ reception Friday, November 2, from 7 to 9 p.m. In addition to the usual delicious hors d’ oeuvres, the gallery will host a wine tasting by Clinton’s Wide River Winery. The exhibit will be on display through December 2007 in the gallery’s exhibition space. Challenged by gallery owners Stormy Mochal and Connie Twining to create work for this unique group show, nearly 35 artists represented by Outside the Lines used the opportunity to create a variety of inexpensive artwork from paintings to pottery all priced at under $100. In some cases painters who usually work in larger formats used the challenge as an opportunity to work on a smaller scale. Not only does it give artists a chance to work on a different scale but it gives buyers and options for decorating (or gift-giving) on a smaller scale. The show will include smaller paintings by Aaron Butcher, Maureen Bardusk, Jennifer Braig, Roy Haught, Jamie Elizabeth-Hudrlik, Elizabeth Roberts, Abigail Robertson, JoAnne Hauser Warren, Nancy Lindsay, and Chris Vance. Other artists working in media ranging from metal sculpture and glass to pottery and photography include Stormy Mochal, Gail Chavenelle, Mark Stevens, Bekah Ash, Audrey Christie, Terry Allendorf, Beth Bird, Lori Biwer-Stewart, Amy Braig Lindstrom,

Stephen Gassman, Dawn Thompson, Ron Hahlen, Joey Wallis, Sarah Ehrler, Jac Tilton, Tom Kelly, Nadine King, Kyle Kreigh, George Lowe, Jody McGill, Jane Melgaard, Marc Millitzer, and Andrea Grace. Outside the Lines can ship your one-ofa-kind gift purchases anywhere, making those long-distance obligations easy. For those that see something they just might love for themselves, the gallery offers a wish-list registry and a bridal registry. Leave your wishes behind and with a few well-placed hints around the house, they just might come true. Outside the Lines Art Gallery is located at 409 Bluff Street (on the corner of 4th and Bluff Streets) in historic Cable Car Square. Representing artists both local and regional, the gallery features fine art, stained and blown glass, jewelry, ceramics, knives, baskets, and sculpture, and offers a wish list program for gift giving, and a bridal registry. The gallery is open seven days a week through Christmas. Gallery hours are Monday 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., and Sunday: 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. For more information, call 563-583-9343, or visit otlag.com.


EVERY GIRL CRAZY ‘BOUT A SHARP-DRESSED 365INK READER

8 OCTOBER 18 - 31

Megan Kalmes - Nest-house BFA Exhibition, Quigley Gallery Opening Reception, Friday, October 26 Clarke student Megan Kalmes presents Nest-house, an installation and exhibition of drawings and paintings at Clarke’s Quigley Gallery October 16 – 31. An opening reception for the exhibit is scheduled for Friday, October 26, from 7-9 p.m. Growing up in St. Donatus, Iowa and attending Dubuque schools, Kalmes points to her travels in Spain, Mexico, Puerto Rico and the Caribbean as influences on her artwork. While at Clarke she had the opportunity to study under acclaimed painter Tom Metcalf for nearly five years. “He has taught me much of everything I know about paint,” she notes. “He has been a huge influence on my development as an artist.” Kalmes’ exhibit Nesthouse is an exploration of the tension between illusion and reality in the

creation and cultivation of intimate relationships. “Much of my imagery for Nest-house draws from my perspective as a woman and as an artist to create a nest in which to house my conception of the ideal relationship,” she writes in her artist’s statement. “My actions, driven by the desire to nest, have often led to a disillusioned sense of fulfillment, as I attempt to mend others and myself into my model of a complete relationship.” On her way to earning a BFA in studio art in the spring of 2008, Kalmes plans to study in Rome, Italy her final semester and afterwards is considering returning to the Midwest for graduate school. “I have a great love and appreciation of this area,” she reports. The Quigley Gallery at Clarke College is open Monday through Friday from 12 to 5 p.m. and Saturday and Sunday from 1 to 5 p.m. For more information call 563-5886356.


JIM MCDONOUGH READS 365INK. PROBABLY. WE HOPE SO!

9 OCTOBER 18 - 31

Holiday

Grande 2007

Yeah, OK, it isn’t even Thanksgiving yet (although we can’t wait for John Madden’s turducken), but it’s never too early to start looking ahead to some of the fantastic holiday concerts set to arrive at Five Flags. On Saturday, December 8, Jim McDonough will be presenting Holiday Grande 2007. Billed as “Iowa’s Own Pianist,” McDonough will be making Dubuque the first of four stops on his Holiday Grande tour. McDonough, a native of Monticello, Iowa, has released eight albums during his young career thus far. His Holiday Grande 2007 concert, now in its fifth year, will boast a 15-piece orchestra as well as a supporting cast of beautifully costumed and talented singers to go along with his own masterful piano playing. The concert benefits Camp Courageous of Iowa. Tickets for McDonough’s concert are on sale now, and can be purchased at the Five Flags box office or online at Ticketmaster.com. It’ll cost you $27 for a box seat, and $24 elsewhere. There really aren’t any bad seats in the Five Flags theater, so you can rest assured that no matter where you decide to pop a squat, you’ll be treated to a relaxing and inspiring evening of beautiful music.

Who’s In Bed

?

With the Butler

For those feeling theatrically inclined in the next couple of weeks, the Grand Opera House is set to feature the Michael Parker comedy Who’s in Bed with the Butler? on October 12-20. The show centers upon Constance, who learns that her billionaire California father has bequeathed all of his assets to her. However, his $22 million yacht, his $25 million art collection and his unspeakably valuable antique auto armada have been left to others. Constance shows up with a lawyer in tow, ready to throw down, when she learns from her father’s butler that the three recipients were her father’s lovers. The yacht, the art and the cars have vanished, sold to the Bimbo Corporation ... and it seems like the butler may be the instigator of these shenanigans. How does it all end? Well, you have to see the show!

Tickets are $15 per person and can be purchased through the box office at 135 W. 8th Street in Dubuque, or by calling 563-588-1305. Remaining show dates and times are Wednesday through Saturday, October 17-20. Wednesday / Thursday shows are at 7:30 p.m.; Friday / Saturday shows are at 8 p.m. For more information, go to www.thegrandoperahouse.com, or call the box office at 563-588-1305.


SO HOW DO YOU PRONOUNCE PETRONELLA YTSMA?

10 OCTOBER 18 - 31

Dubuque Museum of Art Regionalist Prints from the Needles Collection Panel Discussion, Saturday, October 20 In coordination with the exhibition Regionalist Prints from the Needles Collection, the Dubuque Museum of Art will host a panel discussion of the prints and the exhibit on Saturday, October 20, at 1:30 p.m. Panelists participating in the discussion include Belverd Needles, Jr., Ph.D.; Randy Lengeling, M.D.; Jim Hayes; and Jennifer Walker. The panel discussion is free and open to the public. The exhibit, which opened in late August, is presented by Loras College as part of

its 2007-2008 Arts and Culture Series, Learning Through the Arts, in partnership with the Dubuque Museum of Art. Focusing on Regionalism of the 1930s, the exhibit presents prints of the major artists of the movement, including major lithographs by Thomas Hart Benton and John Steuart Curry, along with other Regionalist artists. The exhibit shows over 50 works in the style created primarily by Midwestern American artists interested in work reflective of their heartland roots outside the modernist influence of Europe. The show includes a number of works from the collection of Belverd E. and Marian Needles along with pieces by Grant Wood from the Dubuque Museum of Art’s permanent collection. Belverd Needles Jr. is a CPA with a doctorate in accounting, and is a partner with Needles & Powers, Inc. of Winnetka, Illinois, and was named as an Ernst & Young Distinguished Professor of Accounting at the School of Accountancy at DePaul University.  Regionalist Prints

from the Needles Collection will remain on display through November 4, as will current exhibits, Hands: Beth Shadur and Petronella Ytsma, and Nikolaus Miesing: the Art of Stone. Friends and fans of the Museum of Art should mark their

calendars for Friday, November 16, the date of the museum’s annual Art Auction and Holiday Party. Art donated for the auction will be on display in the museum during the week leading up to the event. The Museum is open Tuesday through Friday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Saturday and Sunday from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. Thursdays are free admission. Regular admission is $5 for adults and $3 for students and seniors. The Museum is located at 701 Locust Street in Dubuque. For more information, visit www. dbqart.com, or call the Museum of Art at 563-557-1851.


CARLOS MENCIA IS NOT FUNNY. DO NOT SEE HIS SHOW.

11 OCTOBER 18 - 31

Blue Man Group • i Wireless Center (The Mark), Moline, IL • Friday, October 19 Fall Out Boy • Allstate Arena, Rosemont, IL • Friday, October 20 Hanna Montana • i Wireless Center, Moline, IL • Saturday, October 20 Dierks Bentley • Mid America Center, Council Bluffs, IA • Saturday, October 20 Fall Out Boy • US Cellular Center, Cedar Rapids, IA • Saturday, October 21 Bruce Springsteen/E Street Band • United Center, Chicago, IL • Monday, October 22 ZZ Top • Five Flags Center, Dubuque, IA • Tuesday, October 23 Aerosmith • Allstate Arena, Rosemont, IL • Monday, October 24 Sevendust •  Orpheum Theater, Madison, WI • Wednesday, October 24 Bob Dylan & Elvis Costello • Carver Hawkeye Arena, Iowa City, IA • Wed., October 24 Sammy Hagar • i wireless (formerly the Mark), Moline, IL • Tuesday, October 30 Kelly Clarkson • The Chicago Theater, Chicago, IL • Thursday, November 1 The Wiggles • Hilton Coliseum, Iowa State Center, Ames, IA • Friday, November 2 John Melloncamp • Coliseum at Alliant Energy Center, Madison, WI • Tuesday, November 6 Modest Mouse • Orpheum Theater, Madison, WI • Saturday, November10 Carlos Mencia Live • Adler Theatre, Davenport, IA • Saturday, November 10 Switchfoot & Reliant K • i Wireless Center, Moline, IL • Sunday, November 11 Keith Urban• Allstate Arena, Rosemont, IL • Friday, November 16 Diamond Rio • Weill Center , Sheboygan, WI • Saturday, November 17 Fall Out Boy • US Cellular Center, Cedar Rapids, IA • Wednesday, November 21 Kenny Rogers Christmas• Adler Theater, Davenport, IA • Tuesday, November 27 Brian Setzer Orchestra X-Mas Show • Potawatami Casino • Tuesday, December 4 Lord of the Dance • Adler Theatre, Davenport, IA • Saturday, February 8

The Grand Opera House 2008 Season The Grand Opera House has announced the 2008 season of shows and events even as the community theater group plans for the final show of the year. The Grand wraps up a successful 2007 season with a true holiday classic – A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. While the story of the miserly Ebenezer Scrooge is a familiar one, no one should be able to resist following Dickens’ most memorable character through his long night of chilling and moving encounters with the ghosts of his past, present and future to finally find a second chance and meaning in the very holiday he despises. The Grand invites all to bring the family to experience this classic, heartwarming tale. The 2008 season promises even more for theatre lovers. The Grand will kick off the new year with a February production of the Rogers & Hammerstein favorite Oklahoma!. The spring show will be Bless Me Father, a comedy by playwright Craig Alpaugh. Musical theater fans will not want to

miss the Grand’s summer production of Beauty and the Beast (yes, the Disney musical) or the musical Peter Pan. Returning with a farce for autumn, Sin, Sex, and the CIA, the Grand should give comedy fans plenty to laugh about. And finally, the Grand crew will wrap another season with a holiday classic, Yes Virginia, There Is A Santa Claus. The Grand Opera

ZZ Top

October 23, 7:30 PM TICKETS: $42.50 AND $48.50

Broadway’s Peter Pan Musical! October 28, 7:30p.m. Five Flags Theater

Sesame Street LIVE! “When Elmo Grows Up” Shows on November 20 & 21 Cracker Barrell Presents House will also be host to two performances by the Academy of Ballet during the 2008 season – Cinderella and The Nutcracker. Performance dates for A Christmas Carol are December 7, 8, 9, 13, 14, 15, and 16. Showtimes are 7:30 p.m. on weekdays, 8:00 p.m. on Fridays and Saturdays, and 2:00 p.m. on Sundays. Tickets for the show are $15. For more information, visit www.thegrandoperahouse.com.

Lonestar

My Christmas List Tour

Thursday, November 29th, 7:30 p.m. Tickets: $45.75, $38.75, $29.75 Jim McDonough presents:

Holiday Grande 2007

December 8, 2:30 p.m. & 7:30 p.m.


A STEAKHOUSE... FOR CHRISTMAS?

12 OCTOBER 18 - 31

Tuesdays

Thursd ay, No vembe r2

9

‘Round Midnight Jazz w/ Bill Encke - Isabella’s, 9 p.m. - 12 a.m. Pub Quiz - The Busted Lift, 8 p.m. First 3 Tuesdays of the month. Karaoke - Rainbow Lounge, Canfield Hotel, 7:30 p.m. - 2 a.m. Karaoke - Dave Lorenz, Player’s Sports Bar, 9 p.m. - 1:30 a.m. DJ Music - Double J DJ’s, Rooster’s, Platteville, 9 p.m. - 2 a.m.

Wednesdays

Open Mic - Hosted by the Dert Tones, The Busted Lift, 9 p.m. - 1a.m. Mississippi Band Duo - Galleria Lounge, Fountain Park, 5 p.m. - 8 p.m. Live on Main Comedy - 2 great standups, Bricktown, 9 p.m. - 11 p.m. 3100 Club Comedy - Midway Hotel, Bricktown, 9 p.m. - 11 p.m. Cigar Club, Bartinis, 7 p.m. - 11 p.m. The Wundo Band - Pizzeria Uno Annex, Platteville, WI, 9 p.m. - 12 a.m. WJOD Wild West Wed - (Country Dancing), Fairgrounds, 7 p.m. - 11 p.m. Karaoke - C-Sharp, A&B Tap, 8 p.m. - 12 a.m. Karaoke - Becky McMahon, Denny’s Lux Club 8:30 p.m. -12:30 a.m. Karaoke - Borderline Karaoke, Bricktown, 9 p.m. - 1 a.m. Karaoke - Rainbow Lounge, Canfield Hotel, 7:30 p.m. - 2 a.m. Karaoke - Dave Lorenz, Player’s Sports Bar, 9 p.m. - 1:30 a.m.

Thursdays

Live Music - Robbie Bahr & Laura McDonald, Gobbies, Galena, 9 p.m. -1 a.m. Y-105 Party Zone - Dbq Co. Fairgrounds, 7 p.m. - 10 p.m. Open Mic - Grape Harbor, 8 p.m. - 10:30 p.m. Open Mic Showcase, Isabella’s 8 p.m. - 12:00 a.m. Karaoke - Rainbow Lounge, Canfield Hotel, 7:30 p.m. - 2 a.m. Karaoke - Rocco - Riverboat Lounge, 8:30 p.m. - 12 a.m. Karaoke - Becky McMahon, Ground Round, 9 p.m. - 12 a.m. Karaoke - Flyin’ Hawaiian, Shannon’s Bar, 9 p.m. - 1 a.m. Karaoke - Soundwave, Bulldog Billiards, 9:30 p.m. - 1:30 a.m. Karaoke - Dave Lorenz, Player’s Sports Bar, 9 p.m. - 1:30 a.m. DJ Music - DJ Brian Imbus, Jumpers, 8:30 p.m. - 1 a.m. DJ Music - Double J DJ’s, Rooster’s, Platteville, 9 p.m. - 2 a.m.

Fridays

Firewood Friday (3rd Friday’s) - Isabella’s Bar at the Ryan House, 9 p.m. - 1 a.m. Live Music - Leonardo Roldan/Romeo Bautista, Los Aztecas, 6 p.m. - 9 p.m. Karaoke - C-Sharp, A&B Tap, 9 p.m. - 1 a.m. Karaoke - Rainbow Lounge, Canfield Hotel, 7:30 p.m. - 2 a.m. Karaoke - Riverboat Lounge, 8:30 p.m. - 12 a.m. Karaoke - Flyin’ Hawaiian, Sublime, 9 p.m. - 1 a.m. Karaoke, Becky McMahon, 3rd Fridays, Kuepers - Dickeyville, WI, 9p.m Karaoke - C-N-T Entertainment, T.J’s Bent Prop, 9 p.m. - 1 a.m. Karaoke - Dave Lorenz, Player’s Sports Bar, 9 p.m. - 1:30 a.m. Karaoke - Brian Leib’s Essential Entertainment, Aragon Tap, 9 p.m. - 1 a.m. DJ Music - Main Event DJ, Gin Rickeys, 8:30 p.m. - 1:30 a.m. DJ Music - Sound Ideas DJ, Timmerman’s Supper Club, 8 p.m.-12 a.m. DJ Music - DJ Brian Imbus, Jumpers, 8:30 p.m. - 1 a.m. DJ Music - Karaoke w/DJ 007, Riverboat Lounge, 9:30 p.m. - 1 a.m.

Saturdays

Live Comedy - Arthur House Restaurant, Platteville, 9 p.m. - 10:30 p.m. Live Music - Leonardo Roldan/Romeo Bautista, Los Aztecas, 6 p.m. - 9 p.m. Bluff Street Live Open Mic, Mississippi Mug, 8 p.m. - 12 a.m. Karaoke - Borderline Karaoke, Bricktown, 9p.m. - 1 a.m. Karaoke - Rainbow Lounge, Canfield Hotel, 7:30 p.m. - 2 a.m. Karaoke - Riverboat Lounge, 8:30 p.m. - 12 a.m. Karaoke - C-Sharp, A&B Tap, 9 p.m. - 1 a.m. Karaoke - Flyin Hawaiian, George & Dales, (East Dub.) 9p.m. - 1 a.m. Karaoke - Dave Lorenz, Player’s Sports Bar, 9 p.m. - 1:30 a.m. Karaoke - Starburst Karaoke, w/Dave Winders, Instant Replay, 9 p.m.-1a.m. DJ Music - Main Event DJ, Gin Rickeys, 8:30 p.m. - 1:30 a.m. DJ Music - Sound Ideas DJ, Timmerman’s Supper Club, 8 p.m.-12 a.m.

Sundays

Open Mic with Sean Kramer (Mississippi Flat Miners), A&B Tap, 9 p.m. - 1 a.m. Karaoke - Flyin’ Hawaiian, Knicker’s Saloon, 9 p.m. - 1 a.m. Karaoke - Phoenix Entertainment, The Hangout (East Dub.), 9 p.m. - 3 a.m.

For all of you people complaining that Dubuque never brings in any high-profile music acts ... shut it! We had country superstar John Anderson this spring, ZZ Top coming during this issue’s run, and now one of the biggest country acts of the decade is coming to the Five Flags Center ... Lonestar! Sponsored by Music ‘n’ More Promotions and New Country 103 WJOD, the multiplatinum group will come to the Five Flags Center on Thursday, November 29, for a special holiday performance. The group will be performing songs from its new Christmas compilation, My Christmas List. Lonestar is notable for having more #1 singles than any other group in this decade, though it’s experienced some turnover as of late. In September of this year, longtime lead singer Richie McDonald, who had been with the group since its 1992 inception, left

the group; young newcomer Cody Collins has replaced him. But that’s no reason for worry, as Lonestar has encountered turnover before: Did you know that John Rich, as in Big & Rich, was a founding member of the group before leaving in ‘97? At the end of the day, this is still the same group that released “Amazed,” “Smile,” “My Front Porch Looking In” and “Mr. Mom,” and more, and it’s still the same group that became the first country act to top both the Hot Country and Top 100 charts since 1983. (Bonus points if you can remember the last crossover hit like that.) Lonestar will be performing with the Wahlert High School Choir for this special holiday engagement, and the band’s new album will be available for purchase. Tickets are on sale now for $45.75, $38.75 and $29.75, and you can purchase them at the Five Flags Box Office or by visiting ticketmaster.com.


THE IMPERIAL MARCH IS THE BEST PIECE OF MUSIC. EVER.

13 OCTOBER 18 - 31

Intriligator is also quick to point out that film scores are indeed classical music. Films are nothing without their soundtracks and scores. Would The Godfather have been as effective without Nino Rota’s beautiful and haunting waltz? The character of Batman will now always be connected to Danny Elfman’s triumphant march. And John Carpenter’s chilling piano theme gave Halloween a whole new dimension of suspense. And then there’s the big kahuna: John Williams. All six Star Wars movies, Jurassic Park, the Indiana Jones trilogy (plus the fourth, coming out next year), Jaws, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Superman, E.T., Home Alone, JFK, Schindler’s List, Harry Potter ... Williams is kind of a big deal, crafting endless hummable themes that endure for ages. He’s such a big deal,

in fact, that the Dubuque Symphony Orchestra is hosting its first-ever “social concert,” dedicated to the music of Mr. Williams, on Friday, October 26, at the Grand River Center. “Williams’ music is just so thrilling to play and to listen to,” says symphony music director William Intriligator. “With things like the Superman march and Star Wars and all the others, they’ve become part of our national consciousness.” The concert at the Grand River Center is a new step for the Dubuque Symphony Orchestra, normally accustomed to playing at the Five Flags Theater. “That’s the other exciting part about this concert,” says Intriligator. “We’re really trying to branch out here and show that the Symphony doesn’t have to be formal. That’s why we’re just going to have a night of fun, we’re having hors d’oeuvres, we’re having drinks. There’s nothing like hearing classic music like this with a live orchestra.”

“People sometimes forget that John Williams pretty much single-handedly saved the symphony orchestra in film,” he says. “In the late ‘70s and early ‘80s, there was this growing trend towards synthesizers as they became more effective. But then here comes Williams with these soaring, epic compositions, like Star Wars and Indiana Jones.” And those soaring, epic compositions, reminiscent of Golden Age composers like Max Steiner, have stood the test of time. “That’s the thing right there, the appeal,” says Intriligator. “For the older generation, they grew up with Jaws, Star Wars and Close Encounters, and then there was the E.T. and Indiana Jones generation, and then there was the Home Alone and Jurassic Park generation, and then a whole new Star Wars generation, plus Harry Potter ... there’s such a broad range of appeal across all generations with this music. There’s something for everyone.” Intriligator hopes that this isn’t the only time the Symphony branches out in the direction of film music. “I’m sure my Artistic Committee is tired of hearing me push for film scores,” he says with a laugh. “But this is a big step for us, and I feel very strongly that we should do more film music. I truly hope that this is the first of many more such concerts in the years to come, because there’s just so much out there.” And, really ... what better group to hear it from than the Dubuque Symphony Orchestra? The pre-concert social hour will begin at 6:30 p.m. with hors d’oeuvres and a cash bar. Tickets are $18, and all tickets are general admission. Tickets are available at the Dubuque Symphony Orchestra office located at 2728 Asbury Road in Fountain Park. For more information, call 563-557-1677 or www.dubuquesymphony.org.


BE SAFE AND HAVE FUN! JUST DON’T HAVE TOO MUCH FUN

14 OCTOBER 18 - 31

by Tim Brechlin & Mike Ironside Ah, Halloween. At no other time of the year is it considered appropriate to not only dress up in wild costumes, but to do it in public! Unless your name is Tom Squad. Apparently every day is Halloween for that guy. And thankfully, here in Dubuque, getting all gussied up with nowhere to go isn’t a problem! There are Halloween parties coming out your yin-yang, and 365’s got you covered on the hook-up.

Get the party started at the Busted Lift at 180 Main Street on Saturday, October 27 (the day of most of the shenanigans), where the Guinness is always cold, the tunes are always floating and there’s always the great food of 180 Main just a few steps upstairs.

On that night, the Lift will be playing host to the Diplomats of Solid Sound with the Diplomettes, beginning around 9 p.m. The soulful funk-rock group returns to the Lift after making an appearance last year in what the Busted Lift’s Aaron Hefel says was one of the best shows of 2006.

Just a little further down the street, Bartinis on Main celebrates Halloween on October 27 with ochOsol, cocktails, congas, cumbias, and costumes! The party marks Latin dance band ochOsol’s fifth Halloween together and the third Halloween party at Bartinis. The band will perform its signature mix of upbeat Latin rock, rumba, cumbia, reggaeton, and ska from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m.  Bartinis hosts its annual costume contest with cash and gift certificate prizes in categories for best male, female, couple, and group costumes, as well as scariest and most original.  With Bartinis’ talented mixologists stirring up

your favorite cocktails, there is no doubt they’ll be coming up with a drink special or two that will be so tasty it’s scary!  Call 563-556-5782 for more information. 

Looking for something a little different? The Captain Merry becomes the Captain Skerry on October 27, beginning at 9 p.m. What constitutes Skerry, you ask? Why, the Halloween staples of a costume contest, refreshments and a cash bar, of course! Included also are tours of the Haunted Merry and “alive” entertainment. Have you been to the Captain Merry recently? The menu has been redone from the ground up, and it’s spectacular. So why not make it an all-night event? Dinner reservations are available from 5 - 8 p.m., so think about spending October 27 at the Bistro at Captain Merry. Call 815-747-3644 or e-mail innkeeper@captainmerry.com for more information or to RSVP. And try the braised short ribs for dinner -- they’re out of this world.

So excited about Halloween they want to celebrate it twice, Jumpers Bar & Grill is hosting back-to-back costume parties on October 26 and October 27 from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m.  The Friday night party will feature the popular and always fun Wicked Liz & the Belly Swirls rocking their wicked blend of originals and choice covers. Liz hasn’t been in Dubuque for a while, and her shows are always entertaining.  Saturday’s party will feature Dubuque’s newest “buzz band” the Buzz Berries, a new incarnation of popular party rock band The Dingleberries. (There’s a joke in there about buzzing and shaving and we’re just not going to go there.) Both nights will feature costume contests

with different categories each night (so if you don’t win on Friday, you have another chance on Saturday).  Plus there will be Halloween drink specials to get the party started, including those ever-popular wiggly treats – jello shots! 

Galena may be a little quieter than Dubuque, but that doesn’t mean that those Illinois folks don’t know how to have a good time. The festivities begin at 6 p.m. on Galena’s Main Street, with the 29th Annual Galena Halloween Parade. The largest Halloween parade in the Tri-State area will feature floats, costumes, prizes and treats (hopefully no tricks) for guys and girls of all ages. After you’re done parading, make your way to the Grape Escape, located at 233 S. Main Street. The normally serene wine bar will transform at 8 p.m., as enigmatic California bad-boy Johnny Rocker turns the place into the party zone. Proprietor Miss Kitty will be your ringleader for the festivities, including an infamous costume contest ... and the cameras are always out! Just a block down the way at Benjamin’s, another costume party will be held, with entertainment from E & R Karaoke. Both of these parties are also free -- did we mention that?

Probably the most authentically spooky space on our Halloween party list, Isabella’s in the dungeon … um, lower level of Victorian mansion The Ryan House celebrates the Saturday before (October 27) and on Halloween night, Wednesday, October 31.  Saturday’s party features a costume contest, drink specials, and “rambling folkie” Denny Garcia (who might


WE PLAN ON DRESSING AS THE THREE STOOGES

15 OCTOBER 18 - 31 actually be part wolf – he’s been spotted howling at the moon) picking some tunes on his mahogany Martin acoustic and 1936 wooden body National slide guitar, not to mention a few fiddle tunes and the occasional ditty on the banjo or mandolin.  Those still possessed by the Halloween spirit on the actual date of AllHallows-Eve can don their costume once again and party with Dave Zollo from 8 p.m. onwards.  The Wednesday night party will feature a solo performance by the keyboard blues wizard, a costume contest and drink specials, and serves as Isabella’s second birthday celebration.  We suggest putting on your costume early to scare some trick-or-treaters and after handing out fistfuls of hyperactivityinducing candy to your neighbors’ kids, heading down to Isabella’s to boogie with Chad and Zollo.  Call Isabella’s at 563585-2049 for more information.

 Off in the land of Key West, what was formerly known as Budde’s has become Softtails Saloon over the last several months, and the bar is planning to celebrate Halloween in style with Scorpio Productions on October 27. Between wedding receptions, special events, and the regular Pub Quizzes on Tuesday nights at the Busted Lift, Scorpio is certainly no stranger to making sure that a good time is had by all. On a special no-cover night at Softtails, come out to expect games, contests, a hula hoop competition, prizes for the best costumes and a whole lot more. Softtails is located at 10638 Key West Drive. For more information, call 563-582-0069.

of Main Event Entertainment spinning your favorite dance and party tunes from 8:30 p.m. to 1:30 a.m.  Dance with your friends on the elevated dance floor or keep the past alive beneath the original Bodine’s neon sign still hanging on the main floor.  For more information, call 563-583-0063.

And up at the New Diggings General Store and Inn, where the beer is canned, cold and crisp, the party will be brought on Sunday, October 29, from 3:30 to 7:30 p.m. with James Kinds and the All-Night Riders. There will be costume contests, prizes and, well, any party at the Diggs automatically becomes one to remember!  For those taking a trip down Central, one of downtown Dubuque’s swankiest night clubs, Gin Rickeys, will be celebrating Halloween in high style on October 27.  The party starts early with the double bubble drink special from 6 to 8:30 p.m., followed by a Halloween dance party with DJ Spanky

 … and there on the handle of the car door hung a SANDY HOOK!  Or something like that according to the classic spooky campfire tale.  Of course the real Sandy Hook is the tavern on the corner of Badger Road and Sandy Hook Road in Hazel Green,

Wisconsin, and they will be partying down Halloween style on Saturday, October 27 with the Stumble Brothers from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m.  The Stumble Brothers, along with their “Stumble Sister” Kate (of hard rockers Tantrym) will be performing their mix of Top 40 country and classic rock to go along with Halloween fun. If you happen to be in the neighborhood on Friday, October 26, Betty & the Headlights will be rocking the Sandy Hook.  While it might not “technically” be a Halloween party, odds are that Betty will be in costume anyway (there is evidence of her having a naughty nurse outfit, after all), so put on your pirate outfit and get to the Hook!  Call 608-748-4728 for more information.  Whew! Parties out the ying-yang, indeed! Now, to just make sure that you’ve got all the pieces together for you and your friends to rock the New Kids on the Block costumes...


Friday, Oct. 19

Saturday, October 20

Chuck Bregman Live Piano (CELEBRATE CHUCK’S 50TH B-DAY!) 180 Main, 5 PM - 9 PM Massey Road Dino’s, 10:30 PM - 2:30 AM Runside Down Isabella’s, 9 - 11 PM Hometown Sweethearts Busted Lift, 9 PM - 1 AM

Rocket Surgeons Pit Stop, 9:30 PM - 1:30 AM

Saturday, October 20

Mr. Obvious Doolittle’s (Lancaster), 10 PM - 2 AM

Sounds of Nashville Albrecht Acres, 7 PM - 12 AM

Thursday, Oct. 18 Radoslav Lorkovic Thursday, Oct. 25 Nate Jenkins Saturday, Oct. 27 HALLOWEEN PARTY HAUNTED MERRY!

Thursday, Oct. 18

Friday, Oct. 19

NEW! - Wide Open Mic Night Isabella’s, 9 PM - 12 AM

Okham’s Razor Grape Escape, 9 PM - 12 AM

Open Mic Night Grape Harbor, 7:30 - 11:30 PM

Denny Garcia Copper Kettle, 9 PM - 1 AM

Denny Garcia Da Vinci’s, 9 PM - 1 AM

John Moran Grape Harbor, 9 PM - 12 AM

Gerry O’Connell Irish Cottage, 8 - 11 PM

Mixed Emotions Softtails, 9 PM - 1 AM

Friday, Oct. 19 Artie & the Pink Catillacs DBQ Driving Range, 8 PM - 12 AM

DRILL Sandy Hook, 10 PM - 2 AM James Kinds & the All-Night Riders Murph’s, 9:30 PM - 1:30 AM

Mighty Short Bus Busted Lift, 10 PM - 1 AM

The Legends Henry’s Pub, 8 PM - 12 AM

Sunday, October 21

Gerry O’Connell Irish Cottage, 8 - 11 PM

The Wundo Band New Diggings, 3:30 - 7:30 PM

Blue Willow Potter’s Mill, 8 PM - 12 AM

Gerry O’Connell Irish Cottage, 8 - 11 PM

Betty & the Headlights Denny’s Lux Club, 9 PM - 1 AM

Miss Kitty Quiz Show Grape Escape, 8 PM - 1 AM

Rick Tittle Band Pop-A-Top, Epworth, 9 PM - 1 AM

Tony Walker Sandy Hook, 9 PM - 1 AM

Tapestry Grand Harbor, 9 PM - 12 AM

Harlots Busted Lift, 5 - 9 PM

Nothin’ But Dylan Stone Cliff Winery, 7 - 11 PM

Open Mic w/ Sean Kramer A&B Tap, 8 PM - 12 AM

L.O.C. (Left of Center) Softtails Saloon, 9 PM - 1 AM

Monday, October 22

The Do Overs Instant Replay, 9 PM - 1 AM

Busted Lift Book Club Busted Lift, 7 - 9 PM

The Human Jukebox Arthur House, 9 - 10:30 PM

Tuesday, October 23

Jimmy Berg and Dave Pingle Grape Escape, 9 PM - 1 AM LiviN’ Large Courtside, 9:30 PM - 1:30 AM

Gerry O’Connell Irish Cottage, 8 - 11 PM

DUBUQUE365.com

ZZ Top Five Flags, 7 - 11 PM Open Jazz Jam Isabella’s, 8 - 11 PM


Wednesday, Oct. 24

Saturday, Oct. 27

Thursday, November 1

Gerry O’Connell Irish Cottage, 8 - 11 PM

Massey Road Dog House Lounge, 9 PM - 1 AM

Open Mic Night Grape Harbor, 7:30 - 11:30 PM

Open Mic w/ Dert Tones Busted Lift, 9 PM - 1 AM

The Stumble Brothers Sandy Hook, 9 PM - 2 AM

Wide Open Mic Night Isabella’s, 9 PM - 12 AM

The Wundo Band Pizzeria Uno, 8 PM - 12 AM

Bob Jay Arthur House, 9 - 10:30 PM

Denny Troy Grand Harbor, 5:30 - 9:30 PM

Live on Main Comedy Bricktown, 9 - 11 PM

Bad Habits Ryan’s Pub, 9 PM - 1 AM

Roy Schroedl Captain Merry, 6 - 9 PM

Thursday, Oct. 25

L.O.C. (Left of Center) Noonan’s North, 9 PM - 1 AM

Billy Leathem Irish Cottage, 6 - 9 PM

Wide Open Mic Night Isabella’s, 9 PM - 12 AM

Denny Garcia Isabella’s, 9 PM - 1 AM

Friday, November 2

Open Mic Night Grape Harbor, 7:30 - 11:30 PM

Scorpio Halloween Party Softtails, 9 PM - 1 AM

Artie & the Pink Catillacs Camp Albrecht Acres, 7 - 11 PM

Gerry O’Connell Irish Cottage, 8 - 11 PM

ochOsol Bartinis, 9 PM - 1 AM

Chuck Bregman Live Piano 180 Main, 5 PM - 9 PM

Corey Jenny Gin Rickeys, 9 PM - 12 AM

Johnny Rocker Grape Escape, 9 PM - 1 AM

Okham’s Razor Perfect Pint, 8 - 11 PM

Diplomats of Solid Sound Busted Lift, 9 PM - 1 AM

Julien’s Bluff DBQ Driving Range, 8 PM - 12 AM

Sunday, October 28

Billy Leathem Irish Cottage, 8 - 11 PM

Chuck Bregman Anton’s Saloon, 2 - 8 PM

Ken Wheaton Grape Harbor, 9 PM - 12 AM

James Kinds & the All-Night Riders New Diggings, 3:30 - 7:30 PM

Dani Lynn Howe Softtails Saloon, 9 PM - 1 AM

Tony Walker Sandy Hook, 8 PM - 12 AM

One Hat Band Grape Escape, 9 PM - 1 AM

The Thieves Grape Harbor, 9 PM - 12 AM

Miss Kitty Quiz Show Grape Escape, 8 PM - 1 AM

Strangers With Candy Sandy Hook, 10 PM - 2 AM

Johnny & the Mojo Filters Softtails Saloon, 9 PM - 1 AM

Open Mic w/ Sean Kramer A&B Tap, 8 PM - 12 AM

Justin Morrissey and Friends Grape Escape, 9 PM - 1 AM

Tuesday, Oct. 30

Betty & the Headlights Sandy Hook, 10 PM - 2 AM

Open Jazz Jam Isabella’s, 8 - 11 PM

Mike & Amy Finders Busted Lift, 9 PM - 1 AM

Readings Under the Influence Busted Lift, 8 - 11 PM

Nothin’ But Dylan Stone Cliff Winery, 7 - 11 PM

Wednesday, Oct. 31

Betty & the Headlights Busted Lift, 9 PM - 1 AM

Saturday, Oct. 27

Open Mic w/ Dert Tones Busted Lift, 9 PM - 1 AM

Saturday, November 3

Blue Willow Grape Harbor, 9 PM - 12 AM

BlackBloom Rooster’s, 9 PM - 12 AM

Mixed Emotions K.C. Hall, 1 - 5 PM

Captain Skerry Party Captain Merry, 9 PM - 12 AM

Isabella’s 2nd Birthday Isabella’s, 8 PM - 12 AM

Julien’s Bluff Stone Cliff Winery, 7 - 11 PM

Gerry O’Connell Irish Cottage, 8 - 11 PM

Wundo Band Pizzeria Uno, 8 PM - 12 AM

Mixed Emotions DBQ Driving Range, 8 PM - 12 AM

Live On Main Comedy Bricktown, 9 - 11 PM

Comedy Sportz Bell Tower Theater, 8 - 10 PM

Friday, October 26 Chuck Bregman Live Piano 180 Main, 5 PM - 9 PM Tom Nauman Cafe Manna Java, 6 - 9 PM Gerry O’Connell Irish Cottage, 8 - 11 PM Massey Road Moose Lodge, 9 PM - 1 AM

Mr. Obvious Sunset Lanes, Dickeyville, 9 PM - 1 AM


IT HAS TO BE TRUE, I SAW IT IN AN OLIVER STONE MOVIE!

18

19 OCTOBER 18 - 31

w w w. r o t t e n t o m a t o e s . c o m OPENING DURING THIS ISSUE The Final Season - A Film by David Mickey Evans (The Sandlot)

Baseball is an essential part of life in Norway, Iowa, in 1990 as the Norway Tigers win their 19th Iowa Division 1A Championship in 24 years. Coach Jim Van Scoyoc (Powers Boothe) has been there for 12 of the championships and was even named National Coach of the Year at one point during his tenure. All of that comes to a bitter end when, under pressure from the politicians in Des Moines, the school board decides to close Norway High School and merge with another district to save money. The school board gives the baseball team one last season, hiring part-time coach from the previous season Kent Stock (Sean Astin) to lead the team. Will Norway go out in a blaze of glory or fall short of their 20th championship in their final season, as planned by the board president? The Final Season is the quintessential sports movie where you know how it’s going to end before it even begins; where you know who the hero will be in that final game; where you know who the love interest is going to be the minute she appears on screen; where the story tugs at the heart strings no matter how hard you try to keep it from affecting you. It is Rudy, Bad News Bears and The Mighty Ducks all wrapped into one. Formulaic to the core, it is still an enjoyable movie, especially for this critic who relished every Iowa moment in this movie that was filmed in eastern Iowa. From the CRST semi at the beginning of the film to the Veterans Memorial outside the ballpark in Cedar Rapids to the corporate logos on the outfield fence under the Cedar Rapids Kernels logo. The film reeks of Iowa, and that’s a good thing. Sure, they make life in the sticks look boring enough to make you believe that baseball was all these people had to live for but, hey, it’s Hollywood. We’re surprised they even knew where Iowa was. For any true fan of baseball or of this state, The Final Season is worth a look. If you prefer Dancing with the Stars and Chicago, I wouldn’t waste your time or money.

30 Days of Night (10/19) NO BUZZ YET In sleepy, secluded Barrow, Alaska, the sun sets and doesn’t rise for over thirty consecutive days and nights. From the darkness, across the frozen wasteland, vampires will come that will bring the residents of Barrow to their knees. The only hope for the town is the Sheriff and his Deputy, a husband and wife who are torn between their own survival and saving the town they love. Rendition (10/19) NO BUZZ YET When Egyptian-born terrorism suspect Anwar El-Ibrahimi disappears on a flight from South Africa to Washington, D.C., his American wife travels to Washington to try and learn the reason for his disappearance. Meanwhile, at a secret detention facility somewhere outside the United States, a CIA analyst is forced to question his assignment in an attempt to save thousands as he becomes a party to the unorthodox interrogation of El-Ibrahimi. Gone Baby Gone (10/19) Buzz: FRESH Ben Affleck’s directorial debut and based on the novel. It is an intense look inside an ongoing investigation about the mysterious disappearance of a little girl. Two young private detectives are hired to take a closer look at the case and soon discover that nothing is what it seems. Ultimately, they will have to risk everything to find a little girl lost. Dan in Real Life (10/26) NO BUZZ YET Love strikes in the worst possible circumstances for popular family advice columnist Dan Burns when he falls for a beautiful stranger, Marie, in a bookshop, only to discover she’s the very same woman his brother is about to introduce as his incredible new girlfriend at their parents’ annual get-together. Yet, even under those circumstances, they can’t help falling in love. Saw IV (10/26) BUZZ: ROTTEN Two seasoned FBI profilers help sift through Jigsaw’s latest grisly game of victims and piece together the puzzle. However, SWAT Commander Rigg, the last officer untouched by Jigsaw, is suddenly abducted and thrust into the madman’s harrowing game.

BUZZ

THE

RottenTomatoes collects the thoughts of dozens of movie reviewers across the country and averages their scores into a fresh or rotten rating. If a movie gets 60% or higher positive reviews, it is FRESH!

- It’s finally official: The casting of Star Trek is complete. Eric Bana has joined the cast as Nero, the villain, and Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead) and John Cho (Harold & Kumar) have been cast as Scotty and Sulu. Chris Pine (pictured), known mostly for his work in romantic teen comedies such as Just My Luck, has landed the role of Captain Kirk. Only the role of Dr. McCoy remains open; Karl Urban (Doom) is heavily rumored to be in talks for the $150 million movie. - Are you tired of the yearly dosage of Saw sequels? Hope not, because as it turns out, producers plan on beating that dead horse until there’s nothing left to beat. With the release of the fourth installment just around the corner, producers have confirmed that fifth and sixth installments are in the works. - Remember Hitch, the 2005 Will Smith comedy in which he played a “date doctor,” while struggling with myriad relationship issues of his own? Get ready for a second meeting with Hitch, as Smith will executive-produce a small-screen television version. Smith will not, however, be reprising his role. What, you expected it? Will Smith’s too big for TV! - Fans looking forward to next year’s The Dark Knight (like ourselves) should begin planning a trip to an IMAX screen. Word has leaked that Warner Brothers is attaching the first seven minutes of the film to IMAX prints of the Will Smith thriller I Am Legend, scheduled for release in December. The sequence reportedly focuses on The Joker and a bank heist. - Terminator 4 is officially back on track. Pre-production is underway on Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins, set to begin production in early 2008. The script was penned by the writers of Terminator 3, and it will be a loose reboot of the series: Much of the prior continuity will be ignored.

Millennium Cinema 151 Millennium Drive Platteville, WI 1-877-280-0211 or 608-348-4296

NOW PLAYING IN DUBUQUE The Brave One . . . . . . . . . . . . 46% Rotten Good Luck Chuck . . . . . . . . . . . 3% Rotten Michael Clayton . . . . . . . . . . . 90% Fresh The Game Plan . . . . . . . . . . . 30% Rotten Resident Evil 3 . . . . . . . . . . . . 26% Rotten Mr. Woodcock . . . . . . . . . . . . 14% Rotten Elizabeth: The Golden Age . . 26% Rotten The Final Season . . . . . . . . . . 23% Rotten 3:10 to Yuma . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87% Fresh We Own the Night . . . . . . . . 53% Rotten

2835 NW Arterial, Dubuque, 563-582-7827 Carmike Cinema Center 8 75 JFK, Dubuque, IA 563-588-3000

Avalon Cinema 95 E Main St. Platteville, WI 608-348-5006 Find great movie resources online at

Dubuque365.com


JEFF DANIELS! HE WAS IN GETTYSBURG!

19 OCTOBER 18 - 31

The University of Wisconsin - Platteville’s Center for the Arts just keeps rolling on with its 2007 - 08 season. Fresh off the resounding success of Evita and the inspiring guitar performance of Michael Gulezian, the CFA is getting ready for even more. From October 24 - 27, the CFA will present Another Opening, Another Show, a musical revue. The show will trace the history of musical theatre through its evolving musical styles, and the songs are connected together with stories and anecdotes that point out watershed events in the development of the art. From the early jazz-inspired songs of Gershwin to the classic standards of Lerner and Lowe and Rodgers and Hammerstein, through the genius of Stephen Sondheim and Jonathan Larson to current hits from Wicked, Spam-A-Lot and The Producers, plus many more, the show will be a great opportunity to experience the start of musical theatre all the way through today. Tickets are $7 for adults, $6 for seniors and faculty / staff, and $5 for current UWP students. After that, the CFA will welcome the Chicago Jazz Ensemble, a 21-piece big band, on October 28 at 7:30 p.m. The Chicago Jazz Ensemble is a leading group in American big-band jazz today, and it has been for 42 years, founded by famed composer Bill Russo. The band takes the classics of

big-band jazz, often reinterpreting the tunes to give them a new spin, and it does so while also launching regular original works. Tickets are $20. After that, the CFA welcomes actor / singer / songwriter Jeff Daniels on November 3, at 8 p.m.. Yeah, that Jeff Daniels. The guy who drove a gigantic van decked out like a mutt in Dumb & Dumber is, in fact, an accomplished acoustic musician! He’s released two albums thus far, most recently Grandfather’s Hat, and he’s been quietly carving out a solid musical pedigree for himself, performing alongside Lyle Lovett, John Haitt and Guy Clark. It’s something of a complete career change, as Daniels has gradually slowed down his film commitments and instead focused on his music. He’s the founder and executive director of the Purple Rose Theatre Company in Michigan, and it seems as though Daniels has chosen to focus himself on the live arts. His music is genuine and heartfelt -- seriously, the guy can sing! Tickets are $28 for adults, $26 for faculty and staff and seniors, and $20 for anyone under 18. Tickets for all CFA performances can be purchased online at http://tickets. uwplatt.edu, or at the CFA box office on the UW-Platteville campus. For more information on these and other shows at UWP’s Center for the Arts, visit www.uwplatt.edu.


WHEN 175 YEARS YOU REACH, LOOK THIS GOOD YOU HOPE YOU WILL!

20 OCTOBER 18 - 31

YP IOWA

The 4th Annual Young Professionals of Iowa Conference is coming to Sioux City on October 25 and 26.

“Grants Available to Commemorate Dubuque’s 175th Anniversary!” by Mayor Roy D. Buol In this issue, I wish to focus on an important announcement and press release prepared by City of Dubuque Public Information Officer Randy Gehl significant to celebrating our past, present and future as a community~ “Dubuque, Iowa’s oldest city, will celebrate its 175th anniversary in 2008 and a $25,000 grant program has been created to encourage community-wide commemoration of the milestone! The anniversary marks 175 years since the Black Hawk Purchase Treaty went into effect on June 1, 1833, and opened to pioneers a strip of Native American land 50 miles wide on the western bank of the Mississippi River. This treaty legally permitted miners to “settle” in the area now known as Dubuque. While the official settlement of the area, later to be known as Dubuque, occurred in 1833, other non-Native Americans were in the area long before that date. Julien Dubuque, the city’s namesake, received permission from the Mesquakie tribe to mine lead in the area now known as the Mines of Spain in 1788. He died in 1810, 23 years before white pioneers could legally settle the area. The town of Dubuque was incorporated on April 3, 1837. Iowa was organized as a territory in 1838 and did not become a state until 1846. During the summer of 2007, the Dubuque City Council accepted applications and appointed an 18-member 175th Anniversary Celebration Coordinating Committee to facilitate broad-based community involvement, coordinate a calendar of events, and develop a funding process and award funds from a $33,000 budget to assist with events. The committee is chaired by Mayor Roy D. Buol. In the initial meetings, the committee’s discussions have included:

• a desire to encourage existing festivals and special events to incorporate the city’s 175th anniversary into their 2008 events; • sponsoring one “Official Event of the 175th Anniversary Celebration;” • the development of a 175th anniversary calendar of “sanctioned” events designed to educate, commemorate, and celebrate the occasion; and • the creation of a special website (www. dubuque175.org) to serve as a central location to publicize events related to the 175th anniversary. The committee has developed a special grant program to encourage community organizations and groups to develop a wide variety of projects, contests, events, and displays to commemorate the anniversary. The goal of the program is to generate a wide variety of creative ideas from a diverse group of community organizations which will encourage citizens to become involved in the year-long celebration. Priority funding will be given to projects that have broad community impact and historical significance. Grant applicants should categorize their project as educational, commemorative, and/or celebratory and can request no less than $200 and no more than $5,000. Eligible activities include, but are not limited to: • essay contests, • oral history projects, • visual arts projects (photography, video, sculpture, paintings, etc.), • photo and video documentaries, • special publications, • historic tours, and • special concerts. The deadline for grant applications is December 15, 2007. The committee will review the applications and announce awards in early January 2008. For a grant application, or for more information, visit www. dubuque175.org or call 563-589-4151.” As Mayor, I encourage and invite broad interest and participation to foster the kind of activities and events that will recognize our City’s successes over the past 175 years as we celebrate our heritage and communicate a shared vision for the future!

Next up is a Wells Blue Bunny Ice Cream Social, and then another keynote speech, from author V.J. Smith, who wrote The Richest Man in Town. Wrap-up with a free Dueling Pianos show at the Orpheum Theater.

Organizers have put their focus toward providing a range of several enriching and motivating speakers focusing on leadership in both a large group setting and in break-out sessions. Additionally, there will be opportunities to network with young professionals from all over the state! It begins with a free bus ride across Iowa, leaving Dubuque at 4 p.m. on October 25. Upon arriving, attendees can check out a welcoming reception at Mac Behr’s VIP room on historic 4th Street in Sioux City. Friday, October 26, is where the real meat of the proceedings begins, starting with a keynote from Angelou Economics Project Manager Katie Bullard, a leader in understanding talent-based economic strategies: “Attracting Young Professionals to your Community: How and Why?” A breakout session will follow, with a CEO Luncheon and then a second breakout session afterwards.

Early Bird registration is still available until October 1; until then, registration for the conference is only $50. Afterwards, registration is $60. For full schedules and a registration form, visit the Web site at www.ypiowa2007.com, powered by 365Advantage. 365 has had a key role in every YP Iowa conference since its inception and we highly recommend this event to all young professionals looking to engage in our community.


HEY PAM, DON’T BREAK YOUR CABLE BOX IN HALF THIS TIME

21

GIVING VOICE•PAM KRESS-DUNN

OCTOBER 18 - 31

Feeling Peevish It’s National Pet Peeve Month! Not to be outdone by Byrce’s rant last time, allow me to add a few to the pile. Just bear in mind that pet peeves are annoyances, not huge concerns. Until we can have world peace, I’d be happy to correct these irritations: Jumping the gun on holidays. Okay, it’s October, you can have your giant inflatable witch in your front yard. But if you put it up in midSeptember (you know who you are), it’s not okay. To me these giant decorations scream three things: “We bought a giant inflated thing! We blew it up! It’s in our yard!” Ditto for political yard signs that go up a full year before the election. I know my party, but I have no idea who I’m going to vote for yet. How can anyone before the field gets narrowed and all the candidates appear on The Daily Show? The misconception that Indian food tastes bad because it uses curry. What do you mean you don’t like curry? Curry is delicious! It’s warm and pungent and not necessarily spicy. If I can enjoy it, anyone can! What’s more, there are so many other spices and flavors in Indian food, from the cardamom in chai to the coriander in tandoori chicken. And if you do pick something hot, there is always a spoonful of cucumber and sour cream raita (sauce) or a wonderful chunk of naan (bread) to cool your mouth back down. Stores that sell “chai tea.” “Chai” is the Indian word for “tea.” So when you order “chai tea” in an Indian restaurant, they just might smile behind your back. But they’ll bring you a cupful, and it will be delicious – nothing like the vile powdered stuff you get at some places. Bad peaches. You simply can’t tell if they are firm and juicy or dry and mealy until you buy one and take it home and bite into it. And then, if you’ve got six of them and the first one is bad, do you bring them back to the supermarket? I’ve never have the time or nerve to do that. T.S. Eliot asked,

“Do I dare to eat a peach?”and I agree with his hesitation. They are my favorite summer fruit, so I keep trying, but oh, have I been disappointed. Door to door sales kids. It’s like telemarketers, only without the caller ID. If I knew that was who was at the door, I wouldn’t have answered. But when I answer and there’s a cute little Cub Scout pushing product, of course I’m going to buy, even if I don’t need any popcorn / candles / gift wrap / magazines / whatever. I love scouting and I love kids, but I don’t love feeling this pressure!

Computers that go haywire. See my last column. I thought the one thing computers are supposed to be good at was saving your data. But nooooooo. Doctors who think your problem is all in your head. One doctor who thought that about me sent me to Mayo, mostly, I thought, to provide indisputable proof that I was really fine, physically. In Rochester, I got the test I knew I needed and the diagnosis I had already figured out. Imagine that. The problem was in my central nervous system, not my imagination. That said, I am also beyond annoyed with insurance companies that pay less for mental health than for physical health. The more we learn about the two, the more difficult it is to separate them. When a chemical imbalance in the brain can cause behavioral difficulties like anxiety and depression, how can they say it’s all in your mind? What’s the difference between the mind and the brain? And how can they limit visits to counselors who can do just as much good as psychiatrists prescribing medicines? Having to pay when the city repairs the street in front of your house. I went through this not long after I bought my first Dubuque house, on University Avenue. I was aghast when I learned I had to help foot the

bill, even though I already paid hefty real estate taxes. My heart goes out to the folks on West Fifth Street. The creatures who come inside my house seeking warmth in autumn. I love this season, with its pretty leaves and relief from the heat, but when it gets cold out, the lady bugs (and/or Asian beetles), spiders, and mice are just as intent at staying warm as I do. It’s only natural to resist freezing to death. But couldn’t they go somewhere other than my cozy home?

The message-waiting light on my digital cable box. I know how to access my messages and get the red, piercing light to go off, but no sooner do I

erase one message about pay-per-view wrestling than another one arrives. It’s like the CHECK ENGINE SOON message in your car. If you see it too often and it turns out all is well, you’re going to start ignoring it or, better yet, cover it up with electrical tape. (Ed. Note: And how about the fact that the cable box itself is louder than my dryer. So much for specifically buying a quiet HDTV.) My daughter offered this one: Indecipherable vanity license plates. While FRZBNT became one of my all-time favorites once I figured it out, others with embedded secret messages just drive me nuts and take my mind off the road. That’s enough for now. I’m beginning to feel like a curmudgeon. Next month brings Thanksgiving, so I promise I will force myself to write about Things I Am Thankful For. Stay tuned. But ignore that red light on your cable box, if you can. Pam Kress-Dunn pam2617@yahoo.com


IS THIS LIKE THE NECRONOMICON! ARMY OF DARKNESS, DUDE!

22

Bobs Book Reviews ’

Citizens of Geek

By Bob Gelms   In the last issue I wrote about what I call my Geek book. It’s the book that my family and most of my friends use as proof that I’m a Geek. It’s a wonderful book called Salt: A World History by Mark Kurlanski. I have another one just over the horizon called Cod: A Biography of the Fish that Changed the World. I asked readers to email me with their own Geek books and any stories the might want to share.   I got quite the response. Of all the emails I received only one person has allowed me to use his name so that’s where I’m going to start.   This came from David Dyrek: You asked that readers share their own Geek Books. My latest, which has turned out to be a N.Y. Times best-seller (hope that doesn’t disqualify it) is Eats, Shoots and Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation by Lynn Truss. It’s been out for a while and I’m sure you’ve heard of it. The title itself shows that the simple use of the comma, or its absence, can dramatically change the meaning of a sentence. And that’s the whole point of the book. The author even dabbles into the history of the apostrophe and semicolon. That alone should place the book in the Geek column. The paperback version has a Punctuation Repair Kit complete with punctuation stickers! A must have. For me, the way books move into the realm of Geekdom is by the reaction I get when describing the book to a sample group of my “regular guy” type circle of friends. After enthusiastically sharing the highlights of such a book I’ll invariably be met by, “That’s nice, Dave,” before being dismissed (I’ll be getting new friends next year). I could never tell these people that I periodically re-read Strunk and White’s The Elements of Style.  Thanks very much David, and I have to say that in order to maintain the highest level of Geekitude, I think that owning a Punctuation Repair Kit might have to be compulsory in order to gain admittance to the Kingdom of Geek. For those of you who haven’t read Eats, Shoots and Leaves, all I’m going to say is that, that one little comma in the title is the difference between a very hungry sociopath and a cute, cuddly, panda bear.   However, David, that isn’t the most im-

pressive part of your communiqué. Being a part time, half-assed (some say completely assed) writer I’m familiar with Strunk & White’s book. I even own a copy of it. I’m ashamed to admit that I’m racked with “Geek Guilt.” I don’t periodically re-read The Elements of Style and I can’t seem to locate my copy. My wife, who was just reading over my shoulder, has concluded that that is the reason I have no style, very little class, and occasionally reside in the city of Dork which is just across the river Nerd from the city of Doofus in of the Kingdom of Geek.   In any event, David, for all that you are, we are disposed to appoint you for life as the President of the Stationers Guild of the Kingdom of Geek   I got an email from CM. It was one word long, no salutation, no closing, not even a “by your leave.” The word was Cryptonomicon. That’s all, just Cryptonomicon. All righty then, it’s time for Wikipedia:   Cryptonomicon is a 1999 novel by Neal Stephenson. It concurrently follows the exploits of World War II-era cryptographers affiliated with Bletchley Park in their attempts to crack Axis codes and fight the Nazi submarine fleet, alongside the story of their descendants, who are attempting to use modern cryptography to build a data haven in the fictitious state of Kinakuta, a small nation with geographical and political parallels to Brunei. Cryptonomicon was nominated for the Hugo Award for Best Novel in 2000.   I did a little research on Mr. CM. I talked to his wife and she told me that he once had a cat named Persephone. Now I understand completely.   We are disposed to appointing Mr. CM

the Grand Marshal at the next Kingdom of Geek Darth Vader Memorial Look-ALike Parade.   JG sent me a list of books she considers her Geek books. She was the only one who sent more than one book. Trust me,

OCTOBER 18 - 31

they were all encrusted with Geek. The one item that was most interesting motivated a short correspondence : l Bob com with JG. It seems, e-mai si. h c m s@ m l not too long ago, e g t r robe she was feeling a little like she had let slip a golden opportunity in high school by not paying any attention in English class. So, she decided to revisit those books from long ago and, for the most part, not read them again, but read them for the first time. JG told me she slipped on a pair of dark glasses, slinked into a book store and bought a copy of The Cliff Notes to Moby Dick.   I’m speechless!   NEXT TIME: Eric Clapton has written an autobiography and it’s the best insight I’ve ever read of how fame and fortune has nothing to do with dysfunction.


SMILE! YOU’RE ON CANDID CAMERA!

23 OCTOBER 18 - 31

The Value of Your Smile Imagine what life would be like if you couldn’t smile. Your smile is the ultimate gesture and the universal language. How do you put a price on something that makes you more likable, friendly, warm and approachable? I invest some of my professional time talking to companies and organizations about the value of a smile. I never truly understood that value until a recent speaking engagement in Ecuador. Through my experience in Ecuador and stories like the one below, I have a greater understanding of the value of a smile. What is the value of your smile? Arnoldo from Venezuela: Just five years old and already I know about rejection, denial and disappointment. It’s a hard lesson for a child like me whose only desire is to be normal. Through no fault of my own, I was born with a disfiguring cleft lip. Outside of our home, my mother says I would duck and cover my head since it hurt me so much to be stared at. Every night before going to bed, I would get on my knees and pray for a miracle that would make me look just like all the other kids. My prayers were answered. During the Operation Smile medical mission, I was one of more than 160 children selected for surgery. When my father saw me in the recovery room, he said, “I feel joy, much joy. I thank all the doctors. May they keep performing this good work, not only for my child, but for all the children who need it.”

Operation Smile started 25 years ago to help children born with devastating facial deformities. Since then, they have provided free surgeries to more than 100,000 children around the globe. Operation Smile not only gives smiles to children, it has touched the lives of many more people (myself included) who have participated. My small involvement in Ecuador consisted of fundraising, seminars and keynote speeches talking about the value of a smile. A smile, regardless of your age, culture, ethnicity, financial status, faith, or nationality cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or taken away against your will. It is priceless. Still, many people take smiling for granted. Luckily for Arnoldo and children like him, Operation Smile has put a value on a smile. For a mere $240, you can give a child the gift of a smile. Many children are denied smile creating surgeries each year because of a lack of funding. What is the value of your smile? Would you pay $240 for your smile? Do you take your smile for granted? Do you smile as often as you could? I bet you would smile if I gave you $240. Operation Smile creates smiles for children. That new smile gives children the opportunity to change their lives. Imagine what life would be like if you couldn’t smile. What is the value of your smile? To learn more about or make a donation to Operation Smile please visit their website at www.operationsmile.org.

1% Mattitude Improvement Tip You’re right, and I’m wrong. Sometimes just saying “You’re right, and I’m wrong,” makes all the difference. If you find you’ve gotten yourself into a position where you start arguing about something that isn’t worth arguing for, give in immediately. There’s nothing to be gained in fighting for an empty win. It shouldn’t be so hard to admit when we’re wrong. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being wrong. If you concede, you will be respected

for your humility. If you can get past your own ego and say, “You’re right, and I’m wrong,” then you’re on your way to smooth sailing. Matt Booth, MAC, is a highly soughtafter, platform speaker and trainer, who works with individuals, organizations and business that wish to improve productivity and profitability. To sign up for his monthly e-zine, e-mail subscribe@mattbooth.com. To inquire about getting Mattitude in person, email matt@mattbooth.com.

Contact Matt today at 563-590-9693 or e-mail info@mattbooth.com.


ALAS POOR YORICK, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU COULD USE A SANDWICH!

24 OCTOBER 18 - 31

by Bryce Parks The Olsens, Gary and Linda, have been friends for years, before there ever was a 365. Through our collaborations on wellknown art pieces like Dubuque’s 20th Century and Dubuque’s Stained Glass, the mentoring I received from Gary Olsen has been invaluable to my growth as a graphic designer. And the many meals and conversations at the Olsen home with Gary, Linda and, of course, the dogs (Gumby and Ass-Dragger as I affectionately renamed them), where Linda quizzed me on my sitcom-inspired social life, remain great memories for me. Gary is a commanding presence to say the least. Both an accomplished artist in many media, from watercolors to digital video, as well as a big-top ringmaster, you always know when Gary is involved in a project. And much to the credit of our community, Gary has been center stage for so many creative endeavors you see every day in Dubuque. The lifetime of effort has come with a definite level of notoriety, you might even say fame if you’ve ever seen the reactions of some people who have come to signings for his works. His unbridled enthusiasm and energy seem endless. Though on election night 2004, I actually witnessed Gary hit the wall and pass out on the couch while we were finishing up a calendar project in the wee hours as Al Gore was winning a vote but losing an election in the background. Gary is human after all. Through it all there is Linda, a career highschool counselor and, quietly, a talented artist in her own right, at Gary’s side. Gary casts a big shadow, but that never seems to bother Linda a bit. Like they say, behind every successful man is the woman

doing all the work. She is clearly the glue and the calm in the storm of this lifelong partnership. And what a team it is. Following retirement from her educational counseling career, she’s truly breaking out of her artistic shell. And behind her all the way her is her number one fan, Gary. Really, there never was a shell. Linda has a lifelong penchant for creativity in a variety of media herself. From finely handdetailed painted furniture to sculpture, she is not afraid to experiment. With her latest creative venture, she seems to have found her stride, bringing together the true passions in her life, art and healing, and creating a shadow all her own. Linda Olsen has shown herself to be a gifted jewelry designer. Not just beautiful jewelry, but beautiful jewelry with a purpose. Linda is a maker of therapeutic jewelry. She uses the finest materials from around the globe and hand-crafts them into spectacular creations. And while she receives gushing reviews for her designs, it is those who are seeking the noted healing powers of nature’s gemstones and crystals she uses in her pieces who are making her business thrive. Growing up on the banks of the Mississippi, where river men dredged and graded huge piles of material filled with agates, quartz, and druzy, she would beg her father to take her to these gravel piles and hunt for stones, a past time that has turned into today’s professional

endeavor. Linda still searches those gravel piles today, and her passion for stones has taken her to other places from the deserts of the Southwest, to the Rocky Mountains, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming and the Sierra Nevadas. She also imports many of her gem stones from overseas and has created an excellent and reliable network of suppliers who share her enthusiasm.

sense if you think about it. Many of our most important nutrients and medicines come from minerals. Calcium is an excellent example. The many derivations of salt, a mineral we more commonly use to preserve and flavor our food or provide a necessary substance our body requires, serve as the source for a whole family of pharmaceuticals that treat depression.”

“In my search for exotic stones and crystals,” Linda says, “I came upon several fellow enthusiasts in the field who believed that there was indeed something to the notion that some crystals have extraordinary healing powers. It makes

Now, I’ve never been a big believer in the healing power of crystals, the alignment of the stars, reiki, or a lot of holistic treatments (I think I hear Patrick Sterenchuk coming to lecture me). Maybe it’s Continued on page 29


BUT DOES THAT HAPPY MEAL COME WITH A PLUSH TOY?

25 OCTOBER 18 - 31

All you do Wash and core a whole apple. Set it in a small microwave-safe bowl. In a separate small bowl, combine butter, brown sugar, cinnamon, oats and walnuts. (These can all be tweaked to taste). Spoon this mixture down into the cored apple. Microwave on HIGH for about 4 minutes or until tender. Let sit a couple of minutes before eating. Drizzle with caramel sauce if desired. Enjoy!

Apples - The Core to Healthy Eating Mother Nature was at her creative best when she came up with apples. They’ve got it all: great taste, good looks and nutritional aspects that just won’t quit. An average medium-sized apple contains just 81 calories, four grams of fiber, some vitamin C and a special antioxidant called quercetin. All of these, plus many more attributes, lead researchers to believe an apple a day may reduce the risk of strokes, cancer and cholesterol while promoting healthier lungs, a pretty smile and a slimmer you. There are hundreds of varieties of apples from which to choose. Some are sweet, others are tart, and some are crisp and crunchy while others are soft and smooth. There is an apple to suit everyone’s taste. Check the chart and pick an apple for you. VARIETY Braeburn Cameo Fuji Gala Golden Delicious Granny Smith HoneyCrisp Jonathan McIntosh Pink Lady Red Delicious Rome

Baked Apple Micro-Treat

Cooking for one? Sweet and easy to make.

All you need 1 apple, washed and cored 1 tsp softened butter 1 tbsp brown sugar

Harvest Pork Roast

All you need 1 (2- to 21⁄2-lb.) boneless pork roast 1 dash pepper 1 tbsp cornstarch 1/2 tsp nutmeg 11⁄2 cups apple cider or apple juice 1⁄4 cup Hy-Vee dried fruit bits Cooking apples, carrots or turnips (optional) All you do Preheat oven to 325°F. Place roast on rack in shallow roasting pan. Season to taste with pepper. Roast 45 minutes. Meanwhile, in small saucepan, combine cornstarch and nutmeg; stir in apple cider or juice. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture is thickened and bubbly. Cook and stir 2 minutes more. Reserve 1⁄2 cup of mixture. Add fruit bits to remaining glaze in saucepan; set aside. Remove roast from oven and arrange

FLAVOR TEXTURE SALAD Slightly tart Crisp Very good Sweet, zingy Crisp Excellent Sweet Crisp Excellent Slightly sweet Slightly Crisp Excellent Sweet Tender Excellent Tart Crisp Very good Sweet Very crisp Very good Slightly tart Tender Very good Slightly tart Tender Very good Sweet Crisp Excellent Sweet Crisp Excellent Slightly tart Slightly crisp Fair

Ready to bake a pie, cobbler, salad, sauce and other apple treats? Go to Hy-VeeHealth. Com where you can pick and choose from a variety of apple recipes.

RECIPE

RECIPE

Nutrition facts per serving: 210 calories, 37 g carbs, 2 g protein, 4 g fat, 4 g fiber, 35 mg sodium.

PIE SAUCE Excellent Very Good Excellent Excellent Good Very good Very good Excellent Excellent Excellent Very good Excellent Fair Good Very good Fair Good Excellent Excellent Excellent Fair Poor Very good Good

apples, carrots and turnips around roast. Brush some of reserved glaze on meat, vegetables and fruit. Roast 30 to 45 minutes more, brushing once with remaining glaze. Cover roast with foil and let stand 15 minutes. Meanwhile, bring fruit and cider glaze to boiling. Slice roast and serve with cider glaze. Serves 6. Nutrition facts per serving: 353 calories, 15 g carbs, 46 g protein, 11 g fat, 71 mg sodium.

Jack-O-Lantern for Dinner Pumpkin is a delicious vegetable that is very low in calories, fat and sodium. Pumpkins are extra-rich in beta carotene, which has been shown to help fight cancer, heart disease and aging. They are also packed with vitamin C, iron and potassium. Pumpkin seeds are healthy too. They are a good source of zinc, iron and omega-3 fatty acids. Omega-3 fatty acids have been found to decrease the risk of heart disease and stroke, reduce arthritis pain and fight certain cancers. When picking a pumpkin for cooking or baking, choose a small pumpkin with the stem still intact. Small pumpkins tend to be sweeter and more flavorful and tender. To prepare pumpkin puree, simply micro-bake the pumpkin until tender. Or cut in half, scoop out the seeds and bake in a warm oven for an hour. Once the pumpkin cools, scoop out the fleshy pulp and puree until smooth. Pumpkin puree is perfect for soups, pies, breads and other sweet and savory dishes. The puree pulp can be frozen in freezer bags for later use in favorite recipes.

RECIPE

1 pinch cinnamon 1 tbsp quick-cooking oats 2 tsp chopped walnuts 1 tbsp fat-free caramel sauce (optional)

Miniature Pumpkin Soup

All you need 4 miniature pumpkins 3/4 cup thinly chopped onion 1 tbsp walnut oil 1/2 tbsp fresh sage 15 oz can Hy-Vee pumpkin 3 cups low-sodium chicken broth Salt and pepper, to taste Water (if needed) Parmesan cheese 1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley All you do Cut the top 1/4 off the pumpkins, reserving the lids and discarding the seeds. Bake the pumpkins (including the reserved lids), cut-side-down, on lightly oiled baking sheets in a preheated 350-degree oven for 40 minutes or until they are tender. (Remove the lids after about 20 minutes.) When they are cool enough to handle, scrape most of the pulp out of the pumpkin, leaving just enough in each so that it retains its shape. In a skillet cook the onion in oil over low heat, stirring, until it is softened. Add the sage and cook for 2 minutes. Add the canned pumpkin, pumpkin pulp and chicken broth and simmer for 20 minutes. Puree the mixture with a hand blender and transfer it to a saucepan. Stir in salt and pepper to taste, and water to thin the soup if necessary. Fill each pumpkin shell with the soup and garnish with a sprinkling of Parmesan and some of the parsley. Top with the reserved lids. Serves 4. Nutrition facts per serving: 100 calories, 12 g carbs, 5 g protein, 4.5 g fat, 5 g fiber, 115 mg sodium.


365INK: SSSSSSSSSSMOKIN’!

26 OCTOBER 18 - 31

Behind the Mask Remember what it was like as a child to slip on the persona of our alter ego and go around the neighborhood trick-ortreating? Halloween was great like that. For one day we got to be whomever we chose. As adults the best thing about Halloween is that we get to wear whatever we want without our parents’ approval and, forgivingly, our friends accept whatever ghoulish attire we wear. No one seems to mind or judge us when our face is painted like a clown or we’ve revealed way too much skin. Yes, this hallowed night is a once-a-year occasion to be different, but what about the other 364 days of the year? Beyond a once-a-year costume, who knew that our everyday wear could say so much about our personality? Whether our wardrobe is a neverending parade of sports-related T-shirts graphically ordained in team spirit or we’re a bejeweled tragedy from head to toe, generally most of us are aware of our outer skin. Our choice in clothing and its complements communicate our uniqueness. Style, as an expression of our individuality, becomes our brand. Sure, some of us put more effort into it than others, but for the most part, we’re true to form. Schoolteachers generally look like school teachers, secretaries like secretaries and construction workers, well, you get the point. However, after strolling casually along a beautiful shop lined street on a brilliant

fall afternoon, my shopping buddy boldly suggested that everyone looked the same. Really quite ridiculous, I thought. Certainly, this must be an over-exaggeration. Yet as the afternoon progressed, I couldn’t help but notice this observation as an accurate phenomenon. The haircuts, the clothing, they were remarkably similar and the probability went well beyond fashion trends and contemporary tresses. And so it became impossible not to question how this happened. I became immediately concerned that, underneath the identical wrapping of our communal comrades, have we all lost the ability to express our individuality? Honestly, what this really came down to was my own dilemma; dare my friends group me in with the masses? I like to think of myself as quite individualistic, yet the similarities couldn’t go unnoticed. Realizing we all settle into life’s relaxing comforts it’s easy to see how this could happen. Other than weddings and funerals, rarely are we presented with an opportunity to step beyond our everyday and work facades. A trip to the grocery store is hardly a cause for fancy packaging. Yet our exterior is the quickest and easiest way to communicate who we are on the inside. These outer articles give those around us a glimpse of what lies beneath the surface. Like a costume we wear daily, eventually the mystery behind the mask will be revealed. Who are you going to be?

More Community Shorts Vatican Exhibit @ St. Columbkille’s St. Columbkille Parish at 1240 Rush Street, Dubuque welcomes a Vatican International Exhibit: Eucharistic Miracles of the World. The exhibit is composed of 126 miracles. With an extensive assortment of photographs and historical descriptions, the exhibition, sponsored by the Institute of St. Clement I, Pope and Martyr, presents some of the principal Eucharistic Miracles that took place throughout the ages in various countries of the world and have been recognized by the Church. The Real Presence Association proudly presents this exhibit here in Dubuque! The show has already visted Austria, Belgium, Columbia, Croatia, Denmark, Egypt, France, Germany, India, Italy, Netherlands, Mexico, Peru, Portugal, Spain, Switzerland and more. The exhibit is located in Presentation Hall uunderneath the church from October 20 - 23, 8 a.m. - 9 p.m. (23rd, 7 a.m.- 10 a.m.)

Maria House Fundraiser Cafe’ Manna Java will hold a fundraiser for Maria House and Teresa Shelter on Tuesday, October 23, from 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. 20 percent of all pizza sales and any charitable donations will be given to Maria House and Teresa Shelter. The funds raised will help Maria House and Teresa Shelter further their mission of providing transitional housing and emergency shelter to homeless women and children in the greater tri-state area. For more information, please call Brooke Gassman, Develop.m.ent and Marketing Director, at 563-582-7480.

Over the Hedge On Saturday, October 27, the film Over the Hedge will be played at two showings, 9 a.m. and 10:30 a.m. at Star Cinemas... for only 92 cents per person! All admission proceeds will go to fund Dubuque Community Ice and Recreation, Inc. Doors open at 8:30 a.m for the early show and 10 a.m. for the later edition.


27 OCTOBER 18 - 31

WELCOME TO OUR ALL NEW TIME-KILLING 365 PUZZLE PAGE SUDOKU

MEGA MAZE

ANSWERS TO ALL PUZZLES ARE ON THE NEXT PAGE - THAT’S RIGHT, NO WAITING ... YOU BIG CHEATER!

PUZZLES? NO THANKS, MY BRAIN IS FULL.

TRI-DOKU

1. The numbers 1-9 must be placed in each of the NINE LARGE triangles. 2. The numbers 1-9 must be placed in the three legs of the OUTERMOST triangle. 3. The numbers 1-9 must be placed in the three legs of the INVERTED INNER triangle. 4. No two neighboring (touching) cells may contain the same number.

Over a million readers a year...

and

Thank you for being one of them!

All puzzles @2007 King Features Synd., Inc. World Rights Reserved.

APTLY NAMED


I WAS ONCE ASSAULTED BY TRIXIE KITSCH AND NEVER EVEN MET THE LADY!

28 OCTOBER 18 - 31

Dr. Skrap’s completely useless Dear Trixie: I am sick and tired of people walking around public places while talking loudly on cell phones. I had to listen to an inane conversation at a restaurant yesterday where one silly young woman only wanted to know “who was there” and “what was she wearing?” Don’t people know this is bad manners? How can we stop this? --Fed Up Dear Fed Up: You could print up a bunch of little cards that say, “You are talking too loudly” or “please modulate your voice” or “don’t make me kill you.” Or you could just hit them really hard in the face with a sock full of manure. Dear Trixie: My brother-in-law thinks he’s living in some kind of fairy tale. He’s parked himself on my couch for the last 47 days and the big drunken mooch hasn’t even tried looking for another job. He use to drive a cab but he lost that job when he got his 3rd DUI. My wife babies him and claims he’s depressed and that’s keeping him from being motivated. He’s using us and I am tired of it. My wife won’t say anything but I can tell she’s mad by the way she makes his coffee every morning. I wish this was a fairy tale because then I would have three wishes or a handful of magic beans or something. --Help, Help Dear Help, Help: You know, there are magic beans. You can get them at the nearest garden center.They are called castor beans. They won’t make him disappear but they can make him vomit until he dies. Simply incise an X in each bean and soak overnight in a half a cup of water. This can be added to the coffee pot on your way out the door. Good luck, dear. Dear Trixie: My high school reunion is next week and I need to drop about 25 pounds. Do you know a fool-proof way to lose a lot of weight in a short period of time? --Big Barb Dear Barb: Yes. Amputation. I’d go with a leg. Dear Trixie: Inflation has ruined Halloween! Have you seen the size of the new Snickers Miniatures? They are half the size they were last year. Why, you can’t even fit a razor blade in them! And they cost twice as much. I’m on a fixed income. Help! -- The Nice Man On The Corner Dear Nice Man: Buying carpet tacks in bulk will save you money, plus you’ll have plenty leftover for those pesky Christmas carolers. Dear Trixie: I am always invited to cocktail parties and art openings and birthday celebrations which I do not wish to attend. My friends are constantly grilling me on how I never attend their parties and try to make me feel guilty for not showing up. I don’t want to be mean-- I just don’t want to go anywhere. i like to be home with my dog. Do you think there’s something wrong with me? Do you think I might be anti-social? --Very Concerned Dear Concerned: What’s so horrible about being anti-social? Most people are stupid and loud and they smell. There is nothing wrong with preferring the company of dogs.

HOROSCOPES ARIES Going as Britney Spears to Halloween is hip and timely. But be sure to go as the bald cap Britney or the bad lip-synch Britney, not panty-free driver Britney. That will come back to bite you at the office on Monday thanks to either You-Tube or a 365 roving photographer. TAURUS With the changing of the seasons and the coming Halloween holiday, it’s time to begin carving a jack-o-lantern. However, for added bonus points of cool, cut the head off a garden gnome and put your jack-o-lantern in its place, candle burning. Your karma will increase instantly.

PUZZLE ANSWERS from page 27 Sudoku

Tri-Doku

Cryptoquip

Crossword

GEMINI There is such a thing as living life too hard and taking things beyond reasonable limits. But you have the power of the bacon-infused burgers from the Star Restaurant within you. Bacon: The food of champions. Darth Vader took it to the limits, but he didn’t eat bacon. That’s why he lost. CANCER Your satellite dish serves many purposes; you have television, high-definition reception, a DVR, and access to all the pop culture you could ever want. However, do not use your satellite dish as a saute dish for large dinner parties. Use your neighbor’s. LEO Your valiant efforts to avoid turning on the heat in your house will soon be for naught. You cannot fight forever. The only alternative is burning your house down to provide heat. The negative? You’ll soon be really cold, without a house. The positive? Any stray cats can be considered targets of opportunity. VIRGO It’s going to be getting much colder soon. Much like a bear, you will need to hibernate for extended periods of time. How best to go about this task of making like a bear with the hibernation? Simply bill the hours to the clients who never, ever pay. Remember: Bears are smart.

Even Exchange

Mega Maze

LIBRA Surprise your significant other with the greatest gift of all, the gift that keeps on giving: A whole chicken. Not a fried, broiled or roasted chicken. A live chicken. If your significant other stays with you after that, you have a keeper. If you don’t have a significant other, substitute “S.O.” with “worst enemy.” SCORPIO When you’re trying to sneak out a night with the guys by telling your significant other that you’re actually just working late, you’re making a very, very calculated gamble. Remember: Your significant other may or may not be aware of the fact that phones not only receive incoming calls, but they can place outgoing ones. Watch yourself. SAGITTARIUS The stars are not aligned in your direction, and unsteady waters may be headed your way. Very unsteady waters. Which means stop eating so much greasy and spicy food, and the toilet might not be as unsteady night time. Please, think of the children. CAPRICORN Think of the stuff you do or eat that makes you think to yourself, “Wow, man ... I am pretty disgusting.” And then prepare huge batches of it for the next big office party. Something like dill pickles dipped in Nesquik mix. Yes, it’s a culinary abomination, but the reactions will be worth it. AQUARIUS Challenging your neighbor to “throw down” after you’ve gotten pumped up from watching Throwdown with Bobby Flay is a bad idea. Bobby Flay has hot cooking oil at his disposal. You may have a junkie neighbor. His definition of “throw down” may be something entirely different. And bad. PISCES Start planning for an early retirement. Take up basejumping as a career, for example. If you have a bad jump and you plummet to a horrible and awful doom ... hey, at least you’ll have retired early and you get to have a closed casket!

THE ANSWERS Questions on Page 6 1. C, Cassandra Peterson portrays Elvira. 2. According to multiple Web sites, Candy Corn was the most popular candy of 2004. 3. C, Halloween evolved from the ancient pagan festival of Samhain. 4. B. Michael Myers is Laurie Strode’s brother. Shame on you if you didn’t know that! 5. A, John Williams did not compose Back to the Future. Alan Silvestri did. 6. D, Tootsie Rolls were the first wrapped penny candies in America. 7. Seeing a spider on Halloween signifies a loved one watching over you. 8. B, the average brown bat lives for 32 years. Yikes! 9. C, a unibrow, hairy palms, tattoos and a long middle finger are signs of a werewolf. 10. D, Jack-o-Lanterns originated in Ireland. In hollowed-out turnips.


WE WANT TO SEE LINDA’S JEWELRY ON THE OLSEN DOGS

29 OCTOBER 18 - 31

Continued from page 24 the red-meat-eating, football-watching guy in me. However, I am a huge believer in the power of belief, of faith. And I don’t mean just spiritual faith, but faith in friends, in hope, and in positive energy. I believe in belief. And I think that the people who benefit most from holistic healing are those who also believe with their whole heart that what they are doing is good for them in the end. Linda shares a lot of stories of people just like this who take great healing energy from her creations. She doesn’t claim that these pieces themselves will heal you, but it is clear that what she is giving people is a little faith. And it is working.

“When my friend became ill with cancer,” explains Linda, “I was very interested in beading, jewelry and the metaphysical properties of stones and minerals. I saw her illness as a chance for me to create a bracelet that would not only show my support, but serve as a symbol of the healing that can come from the wishes of others and her own personal positive attitude. She cherishes her “Believe” cancer bracelet and says that it is a constant reminder to her of our friendship and acts

as almost a talisman as she undergoes her radiation and treatment.”

pain, strength-building, pregnancy, diabetes and hope in general.

“Other friends then came to me and said, ‘Well, I don’t have cancer, but I have really felt depressed for a long time. I don’t suppose you have something for that.’ As a former clinical counselor, I would tell them that their first line of treatment is always to seek professional help, especially when the depression is severe. However, in this stressfilled world, we all go through periods of episodes of low-grade depression that may not warrant medical intervention. There are other modalities of therapy that therapists might prescribe, and one of those is cognitive therapy which is simply to change the way one thinks or looks at problematic situations. This involves changing negative thought patterns, giving up old grudges, training yourself to find the good things in life, and realizing that everything is not as bad as you thought it was. With the help of a good therapist this is a very effective treatment and has provided relief to many depressed individuals. However, think how helpful this bracelet could be in this treatment as a constant reminder of those skills learned through therapy and counseling. And, of course, it is a very meaningful gesture from a concerned friend or loved one.”

Linda joins a collection of talented tri-state jewelry makers like Connie Twining of Outside the Lines Gallery (otlag.com) and Meg Lammers in Guttenberg (bella-jewels.com) in producing unique custom art you will find nowhere else.

In addition to cancer and depression, Linda has since gone on to create pieces which feature special combinations of gems and minerals with therapeutic ties to such conditions as grief, chronic

Linda and Gary now travel across the country visiting gem and mineral shows, along the way experimenting with new designs and types of jewelry. They have collected a wonderful resource on Linda’s website, lindaolsenjewelry.com. It features beautiful detailed photography of scores of samples of her work including bracelets, wrist wraps, opal pendants and more. It also provides an interesting list of gems and minerals featuring photos and describing the healing properties associated with each. You can even take a video trip with the Olsens to a gem show to Tuscon, Arizona.

You can also find her works at a host of great retailers around Dubuque including Gotta Have It in Cable Car Square and Custom Hair Studio, as well as nature-themed pieces at the National Mississippi River Museum gift shop and a variety of healing-themed pieces at Body and Soul at Fountain Park. Linda will also have a big show on November 28th at the clubroom at the Asbury Hy-Vee, so put it on your calendar now. If you’re looking for a special way to show someone you care about you’re thinking of them, or if you just want one of these pieces of art for your own pleasure and good health, you should seek out Linda’s jewelry. You’re sure to find something that catches your eye. The question is, do you believe? So as you’ve figured out by now, Linda Olsen is a pretty amazing lady. After all, she lives with Gary Olsen 24/7 and hasn’t killed him yet or gone mad herself. I can only imagine the size of the bracelet she wears to achieve that. Sorry, Gary.


WHO WOULD NAME THEIR KID DOBIE? MAYBE A HOUSE ELF?

30 OCTOBER 18 - 31

GERRY GROSSMAN

Saturday, October 20, 9 PM Arthur House, Platteville, WI Gerry Grossman, “The Human Jukebox,” brings a fabulously entertaining rock & roll comedy show. Gerry plays guitar and sings from a repertoire of thousands of hits from 1955 to 1970. He’s appeared with many stars, including Three Dog Night, The Temptations, John Denver and Tammy Wynette.

JAMES STEPHENS III

Wednesday, October 24, 9 PM Live on Main Comedy @ Bricktown A self-proclaimed one-man show who mixes the best of improvisation, comedy, and music to customize each performance. He is considered one of the most versatile and certainly the most talented comedian in the country. James’ crossover appeal has taken him from a performance at the White House and Carnegie Hall to the famous Apollo Theatre, where he receives standing ovations. Once a practicing lawyer, he decided a few years ago that entertaining was his life’s calling. Since that time he has continued to make an impact in comedy.

BOB JAY

Saturday, October 27, 9 PM Arthur House, Platteville, WI Bob Jay is a master of voices and impressions, a skilled comedian and all-around crowd pleaser who relates to all ages. GARY OLSEN’S

HIGHER EDUCATION

His impression of Harry Caray is so good, even Harry would be impressed!

SHANNON THOMPSON

Wednesday, October 31, 9 PM Live on Main Comedy @ Bricktown Shannon Thompson is no lightweight when it comes to comedy. With his brothel-sized vocabulary and rye (wry) sense of irony, he slays audiences like a modern day Samurai after a drunken binge. Shannon has used his unique perspective on life, not to mention his unusual experiences, to create a comedic prose like no other. As a child Shannon would spend countless hours engaged in swearing contests with the other neighborhood children, and was almost always victorious.

DRESS UP AND YOU CAN WIN FREE COMEDY FOR A YEAR!!! PLUS YOU’LL SAVE $2!!!

COMEDY SPORTZ Comedy Sportz

Saturday, November 3 Bell Tower Theater The award-winning comedy troupe from the Quad Cities prior performances at the Bell Tower over the last three years have all been sell-outs, and the theater is bringing Comedy Sportz back by popular demand on Saturday, November 3. Comedy Sportz focuses its humor on all-age-friendly material, with the motto “No off-color humor — don’t need it, don’t want it. You can stand on the street and hear people cuss for free.” Can’t argue with that; after all, Bill Cosby is still funny after all these years! Tickets for Comedy Sportz are $17, and they are available now at the Bell Tower Theater box office, located at 2728 Asbury Road. Discounts are available for groups of 20 or more. For ticketing or additional information, call 563-588-3377, or visit the Web site at www.belltowertheater.net


PEOPLE, STOP LEAVING YOUR SHOES AT THE FOREST!

31 OCTOBER 18 - 31 ... when she got spooked and then turned around, expecting her boyfriend but finding me, she’d just drop in terror!” Moose joined in, adding, “Oh, man, it was like their legs became Jell-O or something!” The terror also seems to frequently claim an odd victim in its clutches: Shoes. “One year, we were cleaning up a room, and we found, like, six shoes in there,” Parks says. “You’d walk a trail, and you’ll find a shoe here and a shoe there. One time I actually saw a girl lose her shoe, and I pointed it out to her, and she just said to me, ‘I know, but I’m not going back in there!’” whom have some very creative ways of putting you at your wit’s end. “The rule is, don’t touch us and we don’t touch you, but everything else is pretty much fair game,” says Wagener. “You can expect to be startled, to be spooked, to be caught off your guard.” The final night of the Forest, on October 30, is known as “Super Freak Night” (a term coined by Ben Graham). “That’s when we just go all-out,” says Wagener. “On that last night, everyone just goes nuts and does their best to spook the heck out of visitors. You have to go out with a bang on things like this, you know.” “Moose” Paradiso, a former Dubuque Jaycee who is now the executive chef of 180 Main at the Busted Lift, recalled his Haunted Forest experiences as 365 worked on a photo shoot there.

“It was just so much fun to think up of ways to scare the crap out of people,” he laughs. “One year, I carved up some animal skin and turned it into a mask, and then I had a sack full of decapitated heads, and a chainsaw -- I was Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I felt kind of proud when people were coming up to me and saying, ‘Dude ... you can’t wear that mask! It’s too much!’” 365 publisher Bryce Parks recalled some fun experiences during the same conversation. “One of the funniest things I’ve ever seen in my life was on the Forest trail,” he said. “It was so much fun to work with the guys who just wanted to scare the crap out of their girlfriends. I would sneak up behind a couple, tap the guy on the shoulder and give him a look, you know, like ‘move over,’ and then I’d take his spot slightly behind her

For only $7 per person, you’re definitely getting your frightened dollars’ worth, that’s for sure. The price is a mild increase over the $5 of years past, but Wagener points out that there’s a very good reason for the bump. “We did a lot of research into the haunted houses and forests and whatnot in the area, and we found that our price was a bit on the low side; these are expensive

to stage,” he says. “But we have the quality and the quantity to back it up.” And it’s not as though the Jaycees are pocketing the cash. All the work the Jaycees put into the Haunted Forest acts as a community fund raiser; once all expenses are paid, the remaining proceeds go to the Y Camp and the Jaycees’ Toys for Kids program, serving roughly 350 children in need during the holidays, as well as the annual Jaycees / Radio Dubuque Fireworks & Air Show. “There’s a significant amount of money that goes back to the community from this project,” says Wagener. “We do it to directly support the community. Every worker, and there are 30 - 40 workers down there at any one time, is a volunteer. There’s no pay involved ... they’re all doing it to give back to Dubuque.” Well, they do it for that and because it’s fun, right? “Oh, yeah,” says Wagener, laughing. “It’s a lot of work but it’s a lot of fun. Let’s face it: Scaring people is fun.” In the event of a rainout of the Haunted Forest, there will be a make-up day on Monday, October 29. Cancellations will be announced through Radio Dubuque. The Haunted Forest will run until roughly 10 p.m., depending on crowd size. The Jaycees recommend an early arrival, and they note that lines on Thursdays are generally a bit shorter.


Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight,

I wish I may, I wish I might, wine and dine at Star tonight.

Wish granted. Now open, second floor, Star Brewery.

600 Star Brewery Drive, Suite 200, Dubuque, IA 52001 • 563.556.4800 • www.dbqstar.com


I was sitting down to write my article about