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Brider Cup 2012 Issue 1

Scandal at Brider Cup over handicap settings New Driver Revealed Brider Cup veterans Sevé Horsley and Rory Hatcher (the posh one on the right above) were said to be stunned by the mystery of the handicap rankings in this years tournament. A Senior official at the heart of the scandal (who did not want to be named because of fears of reprisals and removal of prizes) commented before he drove home to Chester. “ It wasn’t only the handicaps that were scurrilous, there was also a number of lengthy “gimmes” during the round. The anonymous source went on to add before going home to Immy, “ I don’t know what the fuss is all about; if the other team wanted a better score, all they had to do was to drop back into our group and we could have fixed it for them. It was, perhaps no surprise that overall tournament winner Andy Hatcher was unavailable for comment saying that he preferred to work on Monday rather than completing the two day tour.

BJ Newton (enterprises) have launched an exciting hybrid, multifunctional driver and revealed its exciting functions during the Brider Cup tournament 2012. Apart from shanking the ball off the tee, the club can also be used for storing provisional golf balls, serving soup, scooping balls out of the pond and for frightening groups of female golfers who were left wandering aimlessly around the golf course for eight hours on Sunday afternoon.


Brider Cup 2012 Issue 1

Awards Ceremony 2012 At a star studded, celebrity presentation ceremony 21 guests and players drank far too much and ate even more so that by the time that the presentations began, half the group were asleep and the rest followed soon after. The only person to remain alert and full of energy was the youngest member of the Brider Team, Max Horsley who was the runaway winner of the main event of the evening—the “put the dinosaur back together as quickly as you can” competition. Max, with one eye closed and one hand behind his back completed the puzzle in 8 seconds whilst colouring in another dinosaur and eating the cake off his Dad’s plate. Well done Max. Ashley Valentine, the 2011 Brider Cup Winner was unable to attend the evening but gave his views on the day’s competition via a video link. He mad it clear that he will, may, might, probably won’t attend next year, but if he does then the trophy is his. Andy was heard to mutter “not if I’m in charge of the handicaps again he won’t!” The team all sent their best wishes to Brian senior (and family) who was unable to attend because of shopping commitments. He was on a “BOGOF weekend”—Editor’s note—that might have been a “BOGON weekend!”

Awards 2012 Put the Dinosaur together

Max Horsley

Grumpiest golfer of the day Leighton Horsley

Nearest the pin

Leighton Horsley

Best etiquette

Andy Hatcher

Longest drive

Leighton Horsley

Most improved golfer

Matt Mossop

Most helpful golfer

Matt Mossop

Birdie on 9th

Will Hannam

Best dressed golfer

BJ Newton

Overall runner up

Paul Hatcher and BJ Newton

Most entertaining golfer

Paul Hatcher

Brider Cup winner 2012

Andy Hatcher


Brider Cup 2012 Issue 1

Hole

Andy

BJ

Leighton

Matt

Paul

Will

Steve

1

5

7

4

7

4

8

5

2

4

6

5

6

4

6

4

3

6

7

4

10

6

7

6

4

4

3

4

5

4

3

4

5

7

7

7

11

5

8

6

6

7

10

5

8

4

9

6

7

3

4

4

8

4

7

5

8

10

7

4

7

4

6

7

9

4

4

3

4

4

2

3

Total

50

55

40

66

39

56

46

10

6

4

5

5

4

5

5

11

4

3

4

6

4

4

4

12

4

5

4

5

4

7

4

13

7

5

5

5

5

5

6

14

5

3

3

4

4

4

4

15

5

5

5

6

4

8

4

16

5

8

5

7

5

6

6

17

5

6

3

4

5

8

4

18

6

7

4

6

7

9

5

Total

47

46

38

48

42

56

42

97

101

78

114

81

112

88

-28

-28

-5

-28

-12

-28

-18

69

73

73

86

69

84

70

40

38

34

27

38

23

37

- Hand.

S’Ford


Brider Cup 2012 Issue 1 SHOCK TAKEOVER SURPRISE BJ Enterprises inc. Acme. Conglomerates Ltd. moved swiftly on the stock markets on the second day of the Brider Cup tournament to take over all administration details for the 2013 Brider Cup. Managing Director, BJ Newton issued an official statement in which he explained his motives: “Don’t get me wrong. The old boy’s done a half decent job, but it’s time for young blood to move in on the scene. I reckon that I can make my second million out of this deal and the mugs will never realise that I’ve fleeced them all”

Brider Cup Trophy 2013 IMPORTANT NEWS

Steve Hatcher was unavailable for comment, but an anonymous source close to the family household and now living in Sale was reported to have said “the old man’s past it, he has no idea about creative accounting. He didn’t even realise that he’d been mugged on the handicap system. I reckon that we could get the oldies to pay for it all next year. Oops, I was only joking Uncle Paul, put that sword down ........

Seriously now Team Members. BJ has kindly offered to do the administration for the 2013 Tournament. However, you have to let us know whether you want to play on 9th—10th June 2013? Please email Steve with your preference asap so that we can try to get the best deal.

Brider Members leave the Marriott The three remaining members of the team, to complete the full Brider Tour 2012 leave the hotel with supporters.

BRIDER CUP 2013—YOUR VIEWS PLEASE


Brider Cup 2012 Issue 1

PHOTO WALL 2012


Brider Cup