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Escale Time Zone.


inside

DEC 16 / JAN 17

14 | EDITOR’S LETTER 16 | FEEDBACK

Features 86

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE He’s doing voice-overs, soundtrack production, fatherhood, and, if he has the time, a new album

SPECIAL 103 Independent spirit

129

GET ON UP Get moving – our roundup of the active indoor and outdoor options open to you

Essentials 24 MAN OF THE MOMENT Kagiso Rabada takes fame in his stride 30 GROOMING Your burning questions answered

Hack your summer better

Eish, we made it. Let’s celebrate!

08 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

PHOTOGRAPH BY TERI ROBBERTS

93

38 DESIGN Luggage that works as hard as you do


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ntents inside

16 / JAN 17 50 SEX

Holiday season quickies

53 TASTE GQ’s summer ice cream shake-up

Wealth 77 PROFILE

Travelstart founder Stephan Ekbergh

56 THE EDIT Movies, books, games and music

80 STAR GAZING

Motor

82 FINANCE

The celebs who sell

Are you financially healthy?

32

66 CONCEPT CARS The reasons why the future will not suck

d

70 GREAT DRIVE The Porsche Panamera 72 MOTORCYCLE BMW’s R nineT Scrambler

Manual

Stylish activewear

Style 113 FASHION Sizzle in these prints 122 STYLE

44 GUIDE Are you woke yet?

46 TECHNOLOGY Five of the best wireless headphones

28 Trending

Stand up and be seen

126 WARDROBE How to pack your suitcase in a flash 142 DIRECTORY Where to get it

144 BACK PAGE New gigs for the ex-president

GET 50% OFF One year’s subscription to the digital edition of GQ for only R273 gq.co.za/pages/subscribe 10 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

NICOLE MEYER PHOTOGRAPH BY NIKOLA BORRISOV

42 LIFE Impressive but unnoticed feats of motoring genius

Whether travelling for business or leisure, always be prepared


EDITOR CRAIG TYSON F A

S

H

G R

O

O

M

P

O

F

I

R

I

O I

L

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N

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E

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ART DIRECTOR Gareth Grey

S O

DEPUTY EDITOR 5RVZP`H[P2O\THSV

T N

EXECUTIVE FASHION EDITOR 1HZVU(SL_HUKLY)HZZVU SENIOR COPY EDITOR Stacey Nel SYNDICATION MANAGER 4PJHYSH3\JHZ

MANAGING EDITOR *VSSLLU.VVZLU

ASSOCIATE EDITOR 7H\S:LWO[VU JUNIOR DESIGNER 2LLUHU1LWWL FASHION ASSISTANTS :HZOH4HOSHSLSH)VPWLSV*OHIHIH

CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Cayleigh Bright (Books), Evert Lombaert (Film), +PL[LY 3VZZRHYU (Motoring), 5HKPH°5LVWO`[V\°(Entertainment), (Sta°6KLUKHHS°( Games), 7H\S:LWO[VU(Features), ,]H4HYPH:O\THU(Editorial Executive – JHB) CONTRIBUTORS Charlie Burton, Bruce Cameron, Liza Corsillo, Thiago Ferraz, Ross Forrester, Matthew Holt, John Jannuzzi, Stuart McGurk, Lior Phillips, ALex Royal, Grant Shub, Joe Utichi, Jeff Vrabel, Richard Webb, Gavin Williams PHOTOGRAPHERS AND ILLUSTRATORS Nikola Borissov, Quasiem Gamiet, Toby Goodyear, Eddie Guy, Byron L Keulemans, Jean Marcus, Max Oosthuizen, Teri Robberts, Neil Roberts, Chris Slabber, Greg Swales, Ben Watts ADVERTISING SALES DIRECTORS 2LYY`*VZ[H 3VYYHPUL)YHKSL`(JHB) ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER 1HJX\P,YHZT\Z (JHB) ADVERTISING SALES EXECUTIVE 5VR^HUKH4OSHTIV (CT) ADVERTISING PROJECT MANAGER Stacey Calitz (CT) ADVERTISING LIAISON Jaime Pillay (CT) SALES REPRESENTATIVE ITALY (UNLSV*HYLKK\(Oberon Media) BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT DIRECTOR (IPNHPS1HJVIZ GQ ONLINE – GQ.CO.ZA DIRECTOR OF DIGITAL .PSSPHU-VYILZ CONTENT PRODUCER*OYPZ[VWOLY4J°(Y[O\Y DIGITAL CREATIVE EXECUTIVE=PUt3\JHZ DIGITAL SALES EXECUTIVE 4LNHU>YPKN^H` CONDÉ NAST INDEPENDENT MAGAZINES (PTY) LTD MANAGING DIRECTOR 40*/,33,-,5>0*2

OFF

MEN’SJEANS

WHEN YOU SPEND R1 000 OR MORE

CIRCULATION DIRECTOR Madge Little ASSISTANT FINANCE DIRECTOR 7H\S4`I\YNO GENERAL MANAGER 3LL*SL^Z PRODUCTION MANAGER :[LMHUPL>OHY[VU PRODUCTION/ADVERTISING COORDINATOR 1LHU1HJVIZ PRODUCTION COORDINATOR .LV9HUKHSS CIRCULATION ADMIN MANAGER 2HYLU:OPLSKZ SUBSCRIPTIONS MANAGER )LY[PUH,SSPZ CIRCULATION EXECUTIVE 4HROV[ZV4VUHTVKP SPECIAL PROJECTS AND EVENTS MANAGER :HYHO;\M[ PROMOTIONS ASSISTANT 3H\YLU>PSSPHTZ PROMOTIONS DESIGNER 2PYZ[`1HYKPUL FINANCE CONTROLLERS 3\JPHKH(WHYLJPKH4HYQVYPL3V[[LYPL ACCOUNTS EXECUTIVE .LUL]PL]L1VOUZVU OFFICE & ADMINISTRATIVE CO-ORDINATOR :OHYVU]HU:JOVVY ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANTS :OHTPLSH 1VOUZVU 3PUKPZ^H 7\[\TH DIRECTORS: CHAIRMAN+Y°0XIHS°:\Y]t Michelle Fenwick Madge Little Cherie Hendricks Takudzwa Hove DEPUTY CHAIRMAN/FOUNDING DIRECTOR ,SPaHIL[O 9LLZ1VULZ *(7,;6>5/,(+6--0*, Condé Nast Independent Magazines (Pty) Ltd, 2nd floor, 220 Loop Street, Cape Town, 8001. PO Box 16414, Vlaeberg, 8018. Tel: 021-480-2300; Fax: 021-424-6222; Email: gq@condenast.co.za 16/(55,:)<9.6--0*,Condé Nast Independent Magazines (Pty) Ltd, 2nd floor, The Star Building, 47 Sauer Street, Johannesburg, 2001. PO Box 1014, Johannesburg, 2000. Tel: 011-639-7100; Fax: 011-639-7169 REPRODUCTION 9LZVS\[PVU PRINTING *;77YPU[LYZ*HWL;V^U DISTRIBUTION RNA, 12 Nobel Street, Industria West, 2093 Product Manager 1HUUPL1\UP\Z, 011-248-3500 © 2016 Condé Nast Independent Magazines (Pty) Ltd. Copyright subsists in all work published in this magazine. Any reproduction or adaptation, in whole or in part, without written permission of the publishers is strictly prohibited and is an act of copyright infringement which may, in certain circumstances, constitute a criminal offence. ‘The paper used for this publication is a recyclable and renewable product. It has been produced using wood sourced from sustainably managed forests and elemental or total chlorine free bleached pulp. The producing mills have third-party management systems in place, applying standards such as ISO 9001 and ISO 14001. This magazine can be recycled either through your kerbside collection or at a local recycling point. Log onto www.prasa.co.za to find your nearest sites.

ISSNs: 1562-4366


LETTER FROM THE EDITOR | FEEDBACK | GQ ONLINE

Our guide to all things fresh, p93

A

nother extraordinary year! We’re in the premier league of nations where crazy things happen at a staggering rate. Some of it is nonsensical, even laughable, but a lot of it is calculated and criminal. Imagine you’re the fi nance minister: one minute later you’re not; one day you’re facing fraud charges, the next you’re free to go. Imagine you’re a university student: one minute you’re learning, the next you’re in a fee-fallist free fall, having to unlearn stuff. Imagine you’re free, the next moment captured. Actually you

O

ne other thing we do well as a nation is celebrate. Now is the time for kicking back and enjoying the long, lazy days; so let’s get out there and make some whoopee. You’ll fi nd party ideas, places to go, and, because life’s about balance, some health and fi tness tips to get you back in shape for the year. Well that’s it, then.

Get active your own way, p129

ARE WE DONE YET?

don’t need to imagine that, it happened. Imagine for a moment you’re Brian Dudu Myeni-Molefe: one minute you’re rolling in the money and rolling it out to pals, the next minute you’re bust. But this year, with the astute help of the public protector, South Africans stood up to the looters, predators and capturers. And then, Donald Trump! Are you woke yet? You’ll need to be because 2017 is going to be another extraordinary year and one helluva bumpy ride.

Craig Tyson Editor

Greg Swales Photographer Page 122-124

A fine art

Bulgarian by

Roberts loves

At just 22,

graduate and

birth and

taking photos,

Oosthuizen has

fashion

human by

whether it’s of

spent the past

photographer

persuasion,

strangers

three years

based in New

Borissov found

posing on a

peering

York, Swales is

his way into

dance floor

through his

inspired by the

photography

or in a studio

extremes of beauty. His admiration for designers and

Nikola Borissov Photographer Page 22-23

after a stint in corporate banking. He’s

Neil Roberts Photographer Page 113-120

surrounded by lights. He seldom leaves

lens at music Max Oosthuizen Photographer Page 53-54

gigs, late-night events and local disasters,

been living on

home without

model muses is

the road since

his camera,

and gritty

evident in his

2009, but

and enjoys the

style that

work that

spends most

way pictures

authentically

celebrates

time in Paris,

can change

translates the

clothing as an

London and

in meaning

reality of his

art form.

Cape Town.

over time.

subjects.

14 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

crafting a raw

ILLUSTRATION BY GARETH GREY. PHOTOGRAPH BY BEN WATTS

CONTRIBUTORS


LETTER FROM THE EDITOR | FEEDBACK | GQ ONLINE

inside

WEBSITE: GQ.CO.ZA TWITTER: @GQDOTCOZA INSTAGRAM: #GQSOUTHAFRICA FACEBOOK: FACEBOOK.COM/GQSOUTHAFRICA MAIL: GQ@CONDENAST.CO.ZA

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Summer is finally here, the season for getting active, whether itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s climbing a mountain, catching a wave or hitting the gym. In fact, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve dedicated a whole section of this issue to working out (p129). Now, we want to hear from you. Tell us your funniest workout stories and stand a chance to win our reader prize. Join the conversation on facebook.com/gqsouthafrica.

LAST MONTHâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S QUESTION How does one dress fashionably in this heat? Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most certainly challenging making skimpy things look @GQdotcoza â&#x20AC;&#x201C; @DanielCalbacho Daniel Calbacho wins Creative Recreation sneakers worth R3 000

A BISQUIT COGNAC AND WOLF & MAIDEN HAMPER WORTH R2 800 Luxury meets elegance in this limited edition collaboration between Bisquit and leather goods designer Wolf & Maiden. Much like Bisquitâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s superb cognac, Wolf & Maidenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s luxury handcrafted bags gain character and rich texture with age, making them the perfect pair for the GQ gentleman. TO ENTER, send us your feedback on anything youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve seen in the mag or online (maximum 150 words with â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Reader prizeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; in the subject line) along with your full name and ID number, or join the conversation on Facebook. Competition ends 31/01/17. Terms and conditions apply; see page 142.

16 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

WORDS BY STACEY NEL. POSTS AND LETTERS EDITED FOR GRAMMAR AND LENGTH

TALK TO US


inside

online FEATURING JT He has a sold discography of his own, but we count down the best songs on which Justin Timberlake features.

THE FUTURE OF SPORTSWEAR Gone are the days of baggy tracksuits, dad caps and takkies. This is how you do athleisure right, for every day.

BEAT THE HEAT From a classic Long Island Iced Tea to proper braai etiquette – we’ve got your guide to the summer.

ARE YOU ALL ABOUT THAT BASS? Choose one of these stylish speakers for your next pool party.

18 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

GET A MANICURE, MAN Your hands are one of the first things people notice about you. Make a good impression.


NICOLE MEYER A model enrolled in the school of life Words by Stacey Nel Photographs by Nikola Borissov aking a chance to pursue your dreams is a bold step, but one that local model Nicole Meyer took after being spotted by a talent scout at the age of 18. She left her home town of Wellington, 70km outside Cape Town, for a life as an international model and has been blazing her way to the top ever since.

T

MAN OF THE MOMENT TRENDING GROOMING MANUAL DESIGN HUMOUR GUIDE TECHNOLOGY SEX TASTE MOVIES GAMES BOOKS MUSIC

&Threads swimwear


Read our full GQ&A with Nicole at GQ.co.za

With a number of magazine covers, international campaigns (most recently Police and Wonderbra) and fashion shoots under her belt, you’d be forgiven for thinking the bright lights would have gone to her head. But not Meyer, she is as down to earth as they come, and credits the hard work she’s put in. ‘I have realised so many dreams and hopes. I never thought I could achieve that. I get up with a grateful and humble heart every day.’ For Meyer, modelling is an art, ‘a dance that comes together after a 12-hour day in a pair of heels or being freezing cold and covered with sea sand’. The swimwear model (she brought Yamamay’s swimwear line to life in 2015) feels sexiest when she’s on the beach. ‘I swear, I’m a mermaid,’ she says. It makes sense then that Meyer is planning her year-end holiday to an exotic locale – Bali or the Philippines, where the water is warm and she can get in some much-needed RnR. With 2017 just around the corner, she has her eye on more shoots with big-name brands and photographers, but she also values mindfulness and balance. ‘I am being present and appreciating what I have now,’ she says.

‘I am being present and appreciating what I have now’


SAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cricketer of the year Kagiso Rabada takes fame in his stride

y The affable 21-year-old from Joâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;burg appears to be taking the fame and adulation in his stride. He spoke to GQ about his rapid maturation as both a cricketer and a man, and the importance of keeping his circle small... >>

24 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

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In Test cricket you need to sustain your skill over a long period of time, keep it relatively simple and hit your line and length. Whereas ODI and T20 cricket are almost one and the same, and are far more frenetic environments in which to operate. In the shorter formats, you need to think on your feet because when the batsmen are set at the crease they can hit you all over the ground. International batsmen are really sure of themselves these days and it’s tough to get them out. Patience is such a tough skill to learn, but it’s important in life. I regard my career as a marathon rather than a sprint, and make a point to conserve my energy away from the field, so that I have extra zip when bowling to the world’s best batsmen. 26 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

and against the best players in the world, as well as ex-internationals who are legends of the game is enticing. The league provides a different level of excitement and it’s all about the hustle and bustle. Moreover, the IPL is financially lucrative.

Topman blazer R2 599. H&M T-shirt R349. Topman pants R1 199, belt R229. Aldo shoes R2 699


TRENDING

Scoth & Soda jacket R5 199

PRINT IT! Stand up and be seen in all your floral glory Words by Jason Alexander Basson

W

e’re starting 2017 with a big bang – a cacophony of wild motifs and larger-than-life prints to be exact. Typically we’re seeing prints inspired by nature: flowers, cherry blossoms, succulents and even the odd animal. Of course, there are exceptions to this theme, but what connects them is scale and mood. Everything is bigger and moodier this season, often bordering on the abstract. While print is commonly effervescent and lighthearted, this offering has something of an old-world Eastern opulence to it. From tortoiseshell frames to faux brocade foliage in dusty metallics, this look is one of nostalgia rather than your garden spring scene.

Tissot at Swatch Group T Lady Heart Automatic watch R11 000

Tiger of Sweden shirt R2 199

Scotch & Soda shorts R1 699

Superdry boxers R499

Ray-Ban at Sunglass Hut sunglasses R2 090

Tissot at Swatch Group Musical Seasons pocket watch R17 300

28 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

Vans at Spree Old Skool II Backpack R599


GROOMING

The smartest ways to get some sun this summer Words by Jeff Vrabel

W

e all know that too much sun is bad, but all those warnings to stay indoors during the sexiest season of the year strike us as the dermatological equivalent of abstinence education: mighty naive and absolutely no fun. This is what a reasonable, sun-loving guy needs to know before stepping into those ultralight beams.

What time of day should I be soaking up rays? In the morning before all the sand-flinging children and Pitbull-blasting douches show up and spoil the fun. The sun is most murderous between 10am and 2pm. So what should I do during those hours then? Patronise the nearest shady tiki bar. You can go back out in the late afternoon. Once and for all: which sunscreen should I buy? Beverly Hills dermatologist Harold Lancer, whose guest book includes actors, politicians and other fancy people, suggests

Dermalogica Daily Defense SPF15 (100ml R840), which is basically the ideal broadspectrum sunscreen. It’s light and fast-absorbing, doesn’t leave a residue and has no fake colours or scents. It’s also a moisturiser. About the only thing it can’t do is apply itself.

30 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016 / JANUARY 2017

Is there some rule for how much of the stuff I need to put on? The SPF number assumes you’re using a shot glass’s worth of goo, so apply that much 30 minutes before going outside. Repeat every two hours, and more if you’re swimming or sweating, which you will be because you’re at the pool or the beach. ‘If you’re not using SPF15 or above, you’re better off not bothering,’ Lancer says. ‘But anything above 50 is blowing smoke up your butt.’ That’s a gross expression. What else should I do? Grab a hat. One with a nice wide brim, like a bucket hat, in a lightweight fabric. The brim will shield your face and keep your skin from going leathery, while the breathable material will ventilate your scalp and spare it from frying. Bonus: you’ll be the best-dressed, nearly naked man on shore. Shweet my bru, so now I’m stylish and cancer-free. When should I call it a day? Like a steak that keeps cooking even after you pull it from the oven, your skin will keep tanning even after you’ve packed up your beach towel. Stop earlier than you’d think. Head home when your skin starts to feel dry – not when it resembles a football.

ILLUSTRATION BY GARETH GREY

Your burning questions answered


TIC OLOGY

A s a basic combines weave wicking hich also erms of a bold, graphic motif.

B Shorts You don’t need running shorts for every workout – a lightweight, breathable stretch material will do. Go for a cut just above the knee for practicality.

ASICS Block SS T-shirt R350. H&M shorts R299. Swatch at Swatch Group Nerolino watch R1 560. Adidas WM Forum Mid sneakers R1 799

Watch You’ll want something that not only looks the part, but is also able to perform as hard as you do. Avoid leather straps; they don’t mix well with sweat.

LIGHTER, FASTER, SMARTER Keep the blood pumping with activewear that is stylish and technical

Creative direction and styling by Jason Alexander Basson

Photographs by Teri Robberts

32 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/JANUARY 2017


this effect by combining items o your own. The rule is simply that the shorts needs to hit you on, or just above, the knee.

Lacoste tracksuit jacket (part of set) R3 895. H&M T-shirt R199. Puma x UEG sweatshorts R3 299. Nike Air Force 1 sneakers R1 399

High-tops While more of a lifestyle shoe than a runner, the chunkiness of this silhouette creates a counterpoint to the tapered leg under the shorts.

DECEMBER 2016/JANUARY 2017 GQ.CO.ZA 33


MANUAL

SPORT LUXE ATHLETIC FOR THE RUNWAY

Windbreaker Not only is this a sensible item to own, it can also be mixed with a number of items to create a sporty but stylish look.

Joggers Once the least fashionable item on earth, we have men like Kanye West to thank for bringing these babies back to the runway. A plain white option is more fashion-forward.

Fashion high-tops Choose a pair with a colour or design that echoes some of the design details on your windbreaker.

Lacoste tracksuit jacket (part of set) R3 395. G-Star RAW T-shirt R1 199. H&M sweatpants R349. G-Star RAW cap R799, sunglasses R2 545. Lacoste sneakers R1 895

34 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/JANUARY 2017


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DESIGN

IT’S ALL IN THE TRUNK Make sure your luggage works as hard as you do Words by Buntu Ngcuka

TED BAKER herringbone suitcase, R6 999

Best for: An overseas trip When travelling abroad, there’ll always be those smaller things you need: passport, itinerary and accessories like scarves and gloves. This smart suitcase features a mesh sleeve on the inside in which you can pack these essentials, along with a lot of space inside the actual trunk.

TUMI V3 International Carry-On, R8 499

Best for: Travelling light Tumi’s new V3 suitcase is the lightest ever in the range, which, for a hardshell piece of luggage, is quite handy. The secret is the multi-layer polycarbonate shell that’s secure and isn’t easily damaged by wear, tear and travel knocks. Other outstanding features include TSA locks and a bold colour palette to choose from.

BURGUNDY COLLECTIVE Hold-All Traveller, R4 500

Best for: A weekend getaway No man’s luggage set is complete without the always useful, ever stylish leather hold-all bag. Brown leather just looks elegant (how often do you wear that belt of yours?), plus it ages far better than any other colour. This traveller fits in overhead compartments and car boots, and has adjustable side flaps for more space.

38 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/JANUARY 2017


Chronograph  Stainless Steel Case Genuine Leather     th Largest Watch Maker

Stockist Enquiries: (011) 448 2210 | www.titanwatches.co.za


DESIGN

LOUIS VUITTON Damier Graphite, R36 500

Best for: Travelling in luxury Designed by Marc Newson, Louis Vuitton’s innovative range of rolling luggage is perfect for the frequent flyer. The Damier Graphite sports an 180-degree opening, three-digit combination lock system and wheels that move smoothly through 360 degrees. Each piece in the range comes with a protective cover for use when checking in, as well as a variety of add-ons, including a computer sleeve and pouches for accessories and shoes.

OSPREY Ozone Convertible 46, R3 099

Best for: The outdoors man If your holiday plans include hikes and camping, this bag should be your go-to. It has a handle and wheels for pulling as a suitcase, but converts into a full-on backpack for more active carrying. It also has a handy detachable daypack if you’re going to need less on your hiking trip.

MONTBLANC Nightflight Animation four-wheel carry-on R13 900

Best for: Easy manoeuvring Complete with quiet-running aluminium wheels and a threelength handle system, this carry-on is perfect for the man who wants to keep a low profile when moving around, due to the lack of noise that will follow you.

For more bags that promise no-fuss travel visit GQ.co.za

40 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/JANUARY 2017


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w w w. m a t a n d m a y. c o . z a


HUMOUR

There are several staggering feats of motoring genius that have gone unnoticed until now... Words by Gavin Williams

LONGEST JOYRIDE The longest joyride ever recorded took place in Paris late on 4 December 1998. Four teenagers ‘borrowed’ a Citroen Saxo outside a nightclub and proceeded to drive it around for a record-shattering three days, 17 hours and 27 minutes before being pulled over by the police who were alerted to the crime by one of the joyriders who happened to be sitting in the back seat, and who later realised that the car actually belonged to him.

RECORD NUMBER OF SAABS OWNED Toby Desselange, an architect and avid football referee from Brussels, Belgium, owned 144 of these cult Swedish vehicles – a record number. On 10 December 1997, while wearing his signature turtle neck, he purchased his final Saab – a 9000 Aero – from his local dealership, securing his name in the annals of Swedish folklore, and putting him up there with trolls, gnomes and Tomas Brolin.

BEST JOL HAD IN COMPANY CAR Port Elizabethbased sales rep Jan Opperman used his white companyissued Toyota Corolla Quest to drive to a One-Day International between SA and Australia at Wanderers in Jo’burg on 9 October 2016. His supervisor was none the wiser until the Skytrax data came in, but Opperman remained unrepentant, saying, ‘Seeing the Proteas beat the Aussies was the best jol’.

Originally from Jo’burg, stockbroker and beginner surfer Garth Hattingh shocked the quiet Cape beach community of Noordhoek on 15 December 2015 when he casually drove his Mercedes-Benz A45 AMG down to the beach with his newly acquired surfboard wedged atop the folded down front seat with part of it sticking out of the passenger window.

MOST DRIVE-THRU APPEARANCES Between 9 September 2012 and 7 December 2016, a 2005 Hyundai Tucson belonging to Chantel Labuschagne set a new world record for the most visits to a drive-thru, for visiting a local fast food outlet’s convenience lane an impressive 791 times. When asked to comment, the local mother of four said, ‘I just need to get Terry to karate, Samantha to play practice, pick up Agatha from netball and then find time to bake something for this fête they’re having at Matt’s school tomorrow,’ before speeding off.

MOST HOURS WASTED ON EXPLAINING CAR CHOICE Between February and November 2016, Ballito resident Clive Swanson spent an accumulated total of 956 hours explaining to friends and colleagues as to why he bought a Mazda CX-3. His world record effort included the use of the words ‘value’, ‘for’ and ‘money’, as well as ‘park assist’, said a staggering 12 971 times. The record also includes an additional seven hours of Swanson talking himself into the purchase shortly before going to the dealership to secure the deal for the 2016 demo model.

WORST MID-LIFE CRISIS CHOICE After a divorce from his wife of 14 years, Bongani Nzimande is widely accepted to have made the worst mid-life crisis car decision of all time when he traded in his Audi A4 for a second-hand Chrysler Crossfire convertible. Sporting a bandana and new ankle bracelet, his attempts to impress a waitress at his local News Café went unnoticed. Nzimande got rid of the Crossfire after his acoustic guitar was stolen from the boot while parked at his Muay Thai gym.

42 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016 / JANUARY 2017

MOST TIME SPENT IN AN UNDERGROUND PARKING LOT Maxwell and Minnie Dlamini, spent a whopping nine hours and 14 minutes in an underground parking lot at a regional airport, seemingly unable to find their way out. After several failed attempts at finding the clearly marked exit lanes, Maxwell eventually succumbed to his wife’s insistence that he find ‘someone who knows how the hell to get out of here’, and spoke to a security guard who guided their 2004 Lexus to the exit ramp in under two minutes.

LEAST LIKELY TO DRIVE A STATION WAGON Wearing denims and a leather jacket, Steve Ferreira shattered pre-conceived notions of what constitutes a station wagon driver last Thursday when he borrowed his mother-in-law’s Volvo V60 to pick up his sons from a soccer match. His usual ride, a Yamaha YZF-R1, was unavailable due to the fact that it had been repossessed.

ILLUSTRATION BY KEENAN JEPPE

DID YOU KNOW?

LEAST IRIE SURF CAR


GUIDE

ARE Y U W KE YET? Most of us want to be a little woker. You know, more aware, more sensitive to the reality of people who aren’t like us. We know it’s easy to be blindly un-woke (see: Donald Trump/ Hlaudi Motsoeneng), but it’s also possible to be overzealously woke (that co-worker who desperately wants to convince you he knows a gay person). Really, we’re all just striving for that sweet spot: ‘just right’ woke. Take this test and find out where you fall

44 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017


1. Your idea of workplace diversity is…

senseless deaths of immigrants or all

bunch of just-used breast-pump

three. Time to post…

components. You say...

2. You’re a mentor at work. Nice! How’d you pick your lucky mentee?

4. You’re straight. When is ‘Hay-gurlhay!’ permissible?

6. You’ve heard enough about the massive refugee crisis roiling the world. You...

3. Social media is mourning a mass shooting, an act of terror, the

Telling your Indian assistant, ‘I listen to Indian music. I am very excited when I hear this music’ *

Youngest, eagerest kid with nearest desk

A message of inspiration – about yourself: ‘Some leaders are born. Like myself, I am a born leader, you can’t take that away from me. I have been leading from a young age’ *

‘Not fair, free mini-fridge!’ Let the staff know that: ‘My IQ is one of the highest and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure; it’s not your fault’ •

WAS ASLEEP, HAHHAHA [FINGER GUNS]

Un-woke Your consciousness is asleep on the couch

Signature emoji Famously practiced by *Hlaudi Motsoeneng, •Donald Trump, Punishment Pillory by Twitter

5. Some lady in your office is walking back from a supply closet, holding a

Haranguing everyone about how obsessed you are with Transparent; declaring yourself ‘genitalia neutral’

7. #BEFOREIWASWOKE, I...

Saying to your HR manager, ‘Maybe we shouldn’t ALL look the same, you feel me?’

‘Sipho Ndlovu! Ngeya manyhani!’ [proceeds to conduct remainder of interview in Xhosa]

A dope vacation pic, now suddenly relevant: #tbt to some rainbow sherbet in Capri. #prayfororlando

A New York Times op-ed quote, a moving illustration by a political cartoonist, or a blank/ black screen.

ABSTAIN OR

A WISE CHOICE. NO ONE NEEDS TO SEE YOU BRAG ABOUT HAVING SOME GOOGLE ALERTS

‘MMM, GRETCHEN, AREN’T THE CAPABILITIES OF THE HUMAN BODY ONE OF LIFE’S TRUE MIRACLES?’ Tell the dude at work who happens to be Sikh how beautiful you find his faith and that he is welcome to seek asylum at your house; you have an air mattress

Spoke about politics without understanding the wider social impact

Too woke Straining so hard, you’d be woker if you STFU

Signature emoji Famously practiced by Taylor Swift, Macklemore Punishment Mute button

Give money to the International Organisation for Migration

Didn’t get that ignorance is oppression

‘Just right’ woke ‘Life without knowledge/ Is death in disguise’

Signature emoji Famously practiced by Kendrick Lamar, Chrissy Teigen Punishment Living with un-woke people

DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017 GQ.CO.ZA 45


TECHNOLOGY

THE BEST WIRELESS HEADPHONE Words by Charlie Burton and Stuart McGurk

Now that the iPhone 7 has murdered the headphone jack, we’ve tested the best over-ear wireless headphones for serious audiophiles BEOPLAY H8 BY BANG & OLUFSEN

These headphones are a thing of beauty. Better yet, the design matches the style. The gesture controls – swish your finger on the right cup – are brilliant, while the detail extends to the memory foam pads covered in sheepskin. The sound is rich and expansive, but is slightly better when wired. Apart from that: flawless. bang-olufsen.com Win: Beautiful look, wonderful controls, rich sound Fail: At R9 299, they sure ain’t cheap

++++++++++ Weight: 255g Noise cancelling: Yes Controls: Touch Battery: 16 hours Built-in microphone: Yes Price: R9 299 at Bang & Olufsen Melrose Arch; 011 684 1496

ZIK 2.0 BY PARROT

The Philippe Starck-designed Parrot Ziks are certainly distinctive. They’re featurepacked, too – with swipe controls, along with eight built-in microphones. Best is its app, which allows you to tweak settings. Downside? The battery – when using noise-cancelling – isn’t close to its vaunted 18 hours (in reality, it’s more like six). parrot.com Win: Great mic, settings customisable via app Fail: Looks will divide, so-so battery

++++++++++ Weight: 270g Noise cancelling: Yes Controls: Touch Battery: 18 hours Built-in microphone: Yes (eight, in fact) Price: R4 999 at mantality.co.za 46 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016 / JANUARY 2017


GQ PROMOTION

he best way to look cool in the heat of summer? Don’t be afraid to go grey. For an entirely modern look that balances natural

Make a statement with a look that’s as natural as it is cool

comfort with cool clarity, pair grey, white and even black with a statement piece in aqua or lagoon, like these examples from Digel. If you’re feeling extra daring, go completely tonal with grey and incorporate nature with a printed shirt, and add a subtle accent of colour. Here, the focus on essentials is clear – pure and easy is the motto.

Digel blazers

from R3 999.95 Digel shirts

from R899.95 Dune London Brightling shoes

R1 699.95 Dune London Manhatten boots

R2 099.95 Dune London Richmond shoes

R1 999.95

Digel blazer from R3 999.95, chinos from 1 699.95, belt from R499.99 Digel is available exclusively at Edgars Mall of Africa


TECHNOLOGY QUIETCOMFORT 35 BY BOSE

These headphones are superb at keeping sound out, including background noise when using the microphone. Pairing and switching between multiple connections is a breeze, too. bose.com Win: Comes with a jack for a wired connection Fail: High-fidelity audio not fully supported

++++++++++ Weight: 235g Noise cancelling: Yes Controls: Buttons Battery: 20 hours (40 hours with a wire) Built-in microphone: Yes Price: R8 800 at soundimports.co.za

P5 WIRELESS BY BOWERS & WILKINS

Bowers & Wilkins were late to the wireless market, but with the P5, it has somehow crammed the battery into the same slimline leather pads, making these the only choice of headphones to wear with a suit. The only downside is, as they’re pads rather than cups, the noisecancellation isn’t as good as the others. bowers-wilkins.net Win: Subtle sound, sleek design, good battery life Fail: Noise-cancellation less effective

++++++++++ Weight: 213g Noise cancelling: Yes Controls: Buttons Battery: 17 hours Built-in microphone: Yes Price: R5 190 at bwloudspeakers.co.za

MOMENTUM WIRELESS BY SENNHEISER

The rich, deep sound will not disappoint, while the cups are small enough to feel neat, but large enough to cover completely over-ear. Add in a max 22-hour battery life and a collapsible band, and our only quibbles are its industrial look and price. sennheiser.co.za Win: Wonderful sound, great battery Fail: Pricey, Industrial look

++++++++++ Weight: 265g We really do love quality headphones. Find more at GQ.co.za

Noise cancelling: Yes Controls: None Battery: 22 hours Built-in microphone: Yes Price: R5 990 at dionwired.co.za

48 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016 / JANUARY 2017


HEUER MONZA

TAG Heuer Boutiques; Sandton City & V&A Waterfront. Also at selected ďŹ ne jewellers nationwide. For further information please call 011.669.0500. www.picotandmoss.co.za


SEX

’TIS THE SEASON FOR A QUICKIE Three fast moves to ramp up your holiday mood Words by Lior Phillips

S

omewhere between the Christmas cake and a big slurp of organic eggnog, I felt a hot breath across my neck. ‘You want my tongue now don’t you?’ His words tickled my skin and rippled over my shoulders like the rolling mist in a Jane Austin novel. ‘I’m not sure we have time darling...’ It was my plan to act modest. ‘Couldn’t we have done this earlier?’ Of course I wanted to motormouth his head with all the things I needed to do to him, but pretending that a quickie was naughty while in my partner’s parents’ home during the holidays worked as a beacon, drawing

close any unhinged sexual fantasies he harboured. ‘More cake?’ the ageing aunt in the decorative sweater asked, while laying her hand over mine. The thought of the many parties coming up over the holiday season, coupled with how much my partner wanted to fuck, got me so fired up I was sure I’d burst into flames in the seat next to him. In this age of instant messaging, instant coffee, instant noodles and TL: DRs, sometimes it’s better to watch a trailer instead of the movie. You know the movie is going to be thrilling as all hell, but occasionally you just need to scratch that itch and get it on as quickly as you can.

50 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

SIT DOWN GET UP This is the leader of the quickies, and the only prop you’ll need is a chair. Place the chair in front of a mirror, sit down and let her rest on top of you with her back facing your chest. Position your cock against the base of her back, slide your hands underneath her breasts and then grab them. While your cock hardens, loop your fingers from the outer rim of her breasts to the inner skin of her nipples, then use your thumb and index finger to clasp her nipples hard with one hand, while stroking yourself with the other. Tilt her forwards, glide your cock between her buttocks and slowly brush it along the crease from her back to the tip of her clitoris. By this point you’ll be hard, and she’ll get wetter the more you tease. Penetrating her from this position gives her added clout, so twist things around by having her move slowly to one side while you’re still inside her, making sure you’re both watching your writhing reflections. That’s why we love front-row seats. STAND BY ME A primal and perfect position, fit for fast satisfaction. Have your partner bend over and squeeze her thighs

a little tighter to narrow the vaginal canal while you enter her from behind – this will enhance the friction you feel with every thrust. This move allows you to keep your clothes partially on – an erotic reminder of what you’re doing. Play with her vagina for double stimulation; tickle the outer walls (as they would have swelled by now due to arousal and blood flow) as well as the clitoris. Heck, if you have a bad back then let her play with herself. Avoid direct prodding though – she’ll be stuffed from your, err, stuffing, and her clitoris will feel overly sensitive. Ask her what she needs at every moment and remember: a quickie doesn’t mean quick pounding for quick release – slide slowly inside her, and then pull out until nothing but your tip is left... and repeat. THE FLYING LOTUS Oooh, a shiver-inducing, jawdropping dripper of a position. We’re sure that a giant O is part of your MO, so find a spot on the floor and cross your legs or stretch them out in front of you. Have your partner wrap her legs around your waist facing you. Erotic zones (neck, lips, ears, nipples) are within reaching distance and it’s easy to grab hold of her arse while she straddles you. You might not be able to thrust as freely as you would in another position, but the restriction will work to your favour: she’ll need to rock back and forth on your cock in order to feel anything, and the sheer rawness of that movement will get you both flying off as if jolted out of a confetti canon. The indulgence of this position is in the tilt: her pelvis is lifted up off the ground to meet yours, giving her deep pleasure and deviously worthy G-spot stimulation. It’s great to take this slow, and even greater with your hands all over her. If this quickie doesn’t give you wings, baby, nothing will.

Remember: a quickie doesn’t mean quick pounding for quick release

ILLUSTRATION BY CHRIS SLABBER/CS DESIGN & ILLUSTRATION

The kind of instant gratification you get from lovemaking within a limited time slot is the adrenaline rush woman and men need. That jolt is the equivalent of hours of cunnilingus one would normally demand shoved into one gigantic blood-tingling sex tangle. Quickies aren’t just about the time it takes to have them – there is a ‘u’ and an ‘i’ in there after all and they can become sensational additions to your sexual rapport. Shifting your routines and reshuffling your schedules will reboot your sex life. Welcome to the hilarious, stimulating and outrageous world of the quickie. Chop chop, we don’t have much time.


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TA S TE

THE GQ TRIPLE SCOOP You know all about freakshakes, right? Well, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve made our own bitter-sweet ice cream shakeup Created and styled for GQ by Ross Forrester

Photographs by Max Oosthuizen

DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017 GQ.CO.ZA 53


TA S TE

I

ce cream trends are a thing. Doughnut cones briefly took over Instagram, as did freakshakes, those over-the-top milkshakes. Bubble waffle ice cream cones and Thai ice cream rolls caused a stir wherever they were served. New York chef Dominique Ansel, the inventor of the Cronut, added Crème de la Corn, sweet corn-flavoured ice cream served on grilled corn, to his offerings. Now Cape Town chef and food stylist Rosko Forrester, a former student of the ice cream university of Bologna, has created this sweet summer shake-up we’re calling the GQ Triple Scoop (bourbon, vanilla, roast Arabica and almond-orange). It’s crazy good. Forrester launches his own ice cream brand, i scream, this summer. Contact him at rosko3@gmail.com

Ice cream trends you need to know Decorate your cones with these new flavours

r r r r

Find our list of the newest city eateries to try this summer on p95

r r r r r

Spices, like nutmeg and Togarashi, the Japanese seven spice Ancient grains like amaranth, black sesame and quinoa Charcoal/ash Teas, particularly those with strong anti-oxidant properties and heavy flavours such as matcha and rooibos Coconut Popcorn Dragon fruit Sriracha, a hot sauce Honeycomb

YOU WILL NEED

A large mason jar 1 scoop bourbon vanilla ice cream 1 scoop dark roast Arabica ice cream 1 scoop chunky almondorange ice cream

GET YOUR SCOOP HERE Cape Town

RECIPE

Place ice cream in the jar and drizzle with vanilla fudge caramel and bitter-sweet chocolate ganache. Add a straw or three and serve.

The Creamery thecreamery.co.za Unframed Ice Cream 063-601-0287 Jo’burg

Paul’s Homemade Ice Cream paulshomemade.com

Pete’s Super Natural Ice Cream 083-429-7969

54 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017


GQ PROMOTION

As an entrepreneur, brand builder, dancer, thinker and dreamer, Sylvester Chauke is used to raking in awards – including his latest salute from Rémy Martin

ylvester Chauke’s fascination with the advertising industry began at age 12, and fostered a curiosity that’s since driven him to become a visionary

marketer responsible for some of South Africa’s most iconic advertising. After several years heading up marketing teams for various international brands, Chauke founded DNA Brand Architects, an agency that steers the creative expression of many powerful brands – and along the way he’s earned a number of awards, including The Oliver Empowerment award for Top Empowered Young Achiever of 2016, and the Best Enterprise and Manager award from the European Business Assembly 2016. ‘I have an obsession with things that stand against bland,’ he says. ‘What I do professionally comes naturally to me; it’s bizarre to even think I could do anything else.’ But there’s more to him than meets the eye. He’s a champion for the voice of young entrepreneurs, is a member of the World Economic Forum Global Shapers, board member

of the South African State Theatre, and is trained in the performing arts. And it is creativity, in all its forms, that really makes him passionate – and how people choose to express it through photos, artwork, music and dance. ‘South Africa is world class – we have what it takes to be great and I wish we believed this even more,’ he says. ‘I love the endless opportunities [we have] to be whomever we want to be without fear, without reservation.’ Indeed, why be one thing when you can be many? After all, we only get one life – why not live them all. That philosophy of revealing the talents of people and nature goes into every bottle of Rémy Martin – a cognac as multifaceted as you are.

Want to access a world of rewards and tailor-made experiences? Head to remymartin.co.za

Not for Sale to Persons Under the Age of 18. Drink Responsibly.


THE EDIT

M OV I E S

MASTER ASSASSIN Michael Fassbender digs deep into DNA memory for his killer double role Words by Joe Utichi

I

n Assassin’s Creed, Fassbender plays dual roles as Callum Lynch, a Death Row convict spared execution by the Templars, and his 15th century ancestor Aguilar de Nerha, a Master Assassin who fought the Spanish Inquisition in his quest to keep a sacred artefact out of Templar hands. He explains his attraction to the role. GQ: What makes this film stand out? Michael Fassbender: This idea of DNA memory; that we hold in us the experiences, mistakes and memories of our ancestors. That’s what we’ve come to call instinct. I thought that was a really cool scientific theory that seemed very plausible. And then this idea of the Assassins and Templars and the battle that goes on between them. It’s not as clear cut as, let’s say, the dark side and the light. The moralities get blurred and both factions contradict themselves. It’s a very grey moral area, which I always think is more interesting. GQ: Have you picked up the games, too? MF: Of course I did, but I’m not very good. [laughs] We realise that the fans really dig the historical accuracy and all the historical detail. Hopefully, we’re not going to let any fans of the games down because the great thing about gamers is that they have this passion for it. Their passion spurs you on, and you know you’re making it for an audience that is critical and passionate and hungry for it. They’ll let you know if you don’t get it right. GQ: Is it interesting to play two characters in one movie who have a genetic connection? MF: It is because they’re very different people. Aguilar is part of a family and he believes very strongly in the Creed. In contrast, Cal is somebody who’s much more of a drifter, really. He’s been in and out of correctional facilities for most of his life. He’s fairly underprivileged and

56 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

doesn’t really believe in much. He’s certainly got no alliance to anything because his family is taken away pretty early. It’s with his journey, through Aguilar, that he starts to learn where he comes from and that he does belong to something. He belongs to this bloodline and this discovery gives him a direction for the first time in his life. GQ: Was this your most physical role? MF: Yes, it was definitely physical. I did a lot of training in the gym and all that jazz. The stunt stuff was fun – trying to get it right was the most important thing, and trying to keep up with the stunt team was the challenge. GQ: Did you spend a long time on Aguilar’s look? MF: We didn’t want to go too far because we didn’t want to add something just for the sake of adding it on. It was all about keeping it as simple as possible with the differences between Aguilar and Cal. The costume designer, Sammy [Sheldon Differ] did amazing work. GQ: Did the costume feel empowering? MF: It was the same as with everything – when you put on the uniform of the character it gives you that extra element. It helped me remember the physicality from the game – which is why I kept playing the game, to get the physicality and the shapes. Putting on the costume I could see all of the different poses that I needed to take – the killing stances.


THE FORCE IS STRONG Big screen icons return Edited by Evert Lombaert

Rogue One cashes in on this by presenting the story of how Princess Leia and the Rebel Alliance ended up with the original Death Star plans – it doesn’t continue the Star Wars storyline, but fills in the missing gaps. The cast brings stellar performances as Edwards creates an intense atmosphere – the journey is more important than the destination.

Passion of the Christ. This time, he presents the biopic of US Army medic Desmond T Doss (Garfield) who, due to his Seventh Day Adventist beliefs, entered World War II with a concrete refusal to take up arms. What makes his story even more engrossing, is that his deeds during the Battle of Okinawa resulted in him saving the lives of more than 75 of his brothers in arms, for which he was awarded the Medal of Honour. The screenplay, which wafted around unable to find a producer for 14 years, serves as perfect fodder for Gibson who (having already tackled a war piece based on the 1965 Battle of la Drang in We Were Soldiers) had issues of his own to work out during that time. Made on a relatively small budget of $45m, it shouldn’t take too long for this one to turn a profit.

+++++ Released 16 December

+++++ Released 9 December

HACKSAW RIDGE Directed by Mel Gibson; with Andrew Garfield, Vince Vaughn, Sam Worthington After a long time in the Hollywood wilderness due to his largely publicised meltdowns, Gibson returns to a seat behind the camera for the first time since 2004’s successful The

BRAND BUILDER

SEA OF TREES Directed by Gus van Sant; with Matthew McConaughey, Ken Watanabe, Naomi Watts Van Sant (Good Will Hunting, Milk) attempts a return to his award-winning magnetic form in this inspirational drama. The title refers to Japan’s Suicide Forest near Mount Fuji, one of the world’s most famous suicide spots. McConaughey plays an American who travels to the forest intent on ending his own life. Once there, he meets a Japanese man (Watanabe) there for the same reason. As their relationship develops in this unlikeliest of places, they are forced to confront their inner demons.

ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY Directed by Gareth Edwards; with Felicity Jones, Diego Luna, Mads Mikkelsen The Force Awakens (2015) introduced the universe to a new generation of filmgoers.

CONNOISSEUR

AUDIOPHILE

+++++ Released 13 January

FIRESTARTER

SSBR/449782/VSOP

Not for Sale to Persons Under the Age of 18.


THE EDIT

BOOKS

DIGITAL MEDIA’S ACID TEST New Journalism meets a new generation – with a fresh set of standards for the internet age Words by Cayleigh Bright

n The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test (1968), Tom Wolfe chronicled the journey of the Merry Pranksters as they travelled across the US sipping on juice laced with not-yetillegal LSD. The group’s exploits were part of the beginning of the decade’s counterculture, leaving Wolfe with a difficult task: capturing a new moment in history as well as the unprecedented experience of taking hallucinogenic drugs. His solution was an entirely new way of writing – called somewhat unimaginatively New Journalism. It was jarring in a way that’s hard to imagine now when journalists report in real-time on Twitter and we tell our own stories in any number of media on multiple platforms. In New Journalism, facts meet storytelling, writers are narrators who are also characters, and journalists become whoever they want to be. In this new collector’s edition, photography brings to life the scenes described in vivid detail by Wolfe. It’s a no-brainer for fans of the writer, the genre and a counterculture classic, but it may also appeal to those who were put off by the original’s rambling sentences and effusive style. We’re all about character limits now. If offline is the new luxury, so is anything longform.

I

The Electric Acid Kool-Aid Acid Test by Tom Wolfe with photography by Lawrence Schiller and Ted Streshinsky (Taschen, R4 421)

58 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

SNEAK A PEEK INSIDE

The Voyeur’s Motel by Gay Talese (Penguin Random House, R172) New Journalism changed the way we tell stories, and has become an integral part of how we write and what we read. Verbose celebrity interviews, the kind that employ cloying detail in thousands of words, surely owe their origins to profiles by the likes of Gay Talese. Frank Sinatra has a Cold, Talese’s 1966 profile of the singer for Esquire magazine, was a pioneering piece in that it saw Talese inserting himself into the story – telling the story of writing the story, rather than simply recounting details and facts. It’s an excellent piece, and important in the history of journalism. In The Voyeur’s Motel, it’s difficult to tell whether the story is interesting because it’s morally questionable, or a fascinating piece of writing compromised by moral questions around its origins. Talese tells the story of a motel owner and selfconfessed voyeur who, for years, secretly observed his guests, recording details about their sexual behaviour. While the motel owner collated some fascinating research (like the rise of group sex in the ’70s), critics have had a lot to say about the voyeur and author’s actions. For his part, Talese has little time for those criticising his morals, but takes offense at having his journalistic merits questioned. That’s something that resonates with a generation raised on easy access to the internet and social media, a generation used to having the facts at their fingertips, and which values truth highly. Whether we’re browsing beautiful images of an era’s upheaval or viewing decades of sexual behaviour through the eyes of a voyeur, it seems safe to say that seeing is believing.


Battlefield 1 (2016) Electronic Arts and EA DICE PlayStation 4, Xbox One, Microsoft Windows GAMING

When the trailer for this FPS World War I epic was released earlier this year, millions took to YouTube to express their excitement and witness what is potentially the series’s comeback. And boy, did they need one. Catch this title for all-out war action. Glorification of war included, empathy sold separately.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN Get your RnR with these war games Words by Aléz Odendaal

ontrary to popular opinion, video games are not best played huddled in from the cold. In South Africa, gaming season coincides with summer, making games particularly excellent accompaniments to long, languid afternoons. They’re also great supplements to expensive tropical vacations, and who the hell wants to fly all the way to Thailand for a hand-poked elephant tattoo when you could get one in Far Cry at a fraction of the price (and regret)? Yup. Beer, braai and Battlefield, what more could a guy want from annual leave? Find this and other must-plays on GQ’s list of this summer’s best.

C

BRAND BUILDER

CONNOISSEUR

AUDIOPHILE

FIRESTART

SSBR/449782/1738

Not for Sale to Persons Under the Age of 18.


THE EDIT

FIFA 17 (2016) EA Sports and EA Canada PlayStation 3 and 4, Xbox One, Xbox 360, Android, iOS, Microsoft Windows Players can look forward to new attacking techniques and the usual my-hair-is-betterthan-yours metagame that we’ve all come to expect both in-game and IRL.

Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare (2016) Activision and Infinity Ward PlayStation 4, Xbox One, Microsoft Windows Infinite Warfare got a fair share of YouTube attention earlier this year. Only this time, millions of fans hit the ‘dislike’ button. That’s a lot to bounce back from. But bounce back it did. While there’s nothing ground-breaking here, the game delivers the usual FPS flavour many crave for the time between visits to the pool. We’re also keen on the unrealistic weaponry.

Dishonored 2 (2016) Bethesda Softworks and Arkane Studios PlayStation 4, Microsoft Windows, Xbox One Dishonored 2’s new story can be played as Corvo or Emily, the little girl you (maybe) saved last time. She comes with a new set of abilities, and the game allows for multiple play styles and executions. Bonus points for a woman protagonist. Not hard is it, devs?

60 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

Mafia III (2016) 2K Games and Hangar 13 PlayStation 4, Xbox One, Microsoft Windows, OS X This third-person action-adventure set in Southern US in 1968 washes out tired tropes with a refreshing angle – that of biracial Vietnam veteran Lincoln Clay. The game looks great, even more so as it’s one of few not to use a white male-centric plot.


MUSIC

ON DECK Five minutes with DJ Chris Jack, the man behind some of Cape Town’s biggest parties

See the full interview with Chris at GQ.co.za

Words by Nkosiyati Khumalo Photograph by Marc Shane Berman

GQ: You got your start as a DJ at just 14 years old. What first drew you to house and techno as genres? Chris Jack: I think it was when my sister hired a DJ for her eighteenth. We had to rent some DJ gear and my father had a friend come round to set it all up. Once he left I locked myself in the garage and proceeded to make some of the worst noise in history. I was hooked! House was all I really knew at that stage, perhaps from stealing my sister’s Carl Cox and John Digweed CDs. I saved up and bought some decks. Fast forward 15 years and I’ve been lucky enough to play all over the country at clubs and festivals, with some small stints overseas in the UK, Spain and Ibiza and alongside many of my heroes. GQ: ‘Precision’ is a word that’s often used to describe you – how does that come across in what you do? CJ: I’m a born and bred perfectionist and believe that there is a better way to do things.

BRAND BUILDER

From a music point of view I’ve always been a gear head, always focused on using the latest equipment to do something different with my sets. Along with that is a high level of precision in the way I used that tech during gigs. Although, with the rate tech is evolving, it’s almost impossible to keep up. GQ: You’ve orchestrated an array of branded entertainment events, like Skyy Vodka’s Elevated

CONNOISSEUR

Experience parties – how did you get into that? CJ: Having studied advertising, working in and around a bunch of ad agencies while doing my own parties, I found myself in a unique position when it came to programming and executing experiences for top brands. It’s something that came naturally to me. For almost every brand, experience is everything, and I live for creating those experiences. GQ: You’ve also been involved in some of the country’s biggest festivals. CJ: Well, besides DJing at them, I’ve been lucky enough to work closely with the team at Ultra South Africa since its inception and, more recently, Rocking the Daisies. My involvement on the festival circuit ranges from artist programming on the electronic stages to sourcing, managing and creating brand activations for festival sponsors. As Creative Director at Kilowatt AV, I oversee the design of stages and productions that we are

AUDIOPHILE

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involved in. It’s all super rewarding and it gives me ample opportunity to work with awesome artists and brands. Jack’s top 5 summer tracks 1. Deetron ‘Photon (Original Mix)’ 2. Fatima Yamaha ‘What’s A Girl To Do (Redondo Edit)’ 3. Ryan Murgatroyd ‘Kanna’ 4. Audiojack ‘Paradigm (Original Mix)’ 5. Sean Miller ‘Got It Going On (Original Mix)’


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Get lost in sound with your favourite music from anywhere in the room. The Audio 360 Speaker uses Ring Radiator technology to equally project exquisite audio in all directions so wherever you move the sound stays crystal clear.

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Faster, bigger and water resistant – a smartphone that’ll keep up with you. RRP R16 999

62 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 20


GQ PROMOTION

Samsung Gear VR

Take your holiday entertainment to the next level with a wider ran virtual r e

TomTom Touch

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Wonderfully easy to use and clean, the new NutriBullet Pro 900 boasts a more powerful motor for even quicker and smoother NutriBlasts. R2 999, nutribullet.co.za

DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017 GQ.CO.ZA 63


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64 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/JANUARY 2017

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DECEMBER 2016/JANUARY 2017 GQ.CO.ZA 65


NEAR SIGHTINGS OF THE RETRO FUTURE Words by Richard Webb

Don’t listen to the gloomsters who tell you the cars of the future will be white goods. Judging by these concept highlights from this year’s Concorso d’Eleganza at Lake Como, we have reasons to be cheerful

1

Bugatti’s Vision Gran Turismo was created for Gran Turismo 6 on PlayStation and has become a one-off reality. Except some Saudi prince has gone and bought this hyper-car concept for his collection. Bugatti’s W16 engine sits in the middle of the car and is good for 400km/h.

66 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017


3

And what of the Alfa Romeo Disco VolanteSpider? Molto bella. This Italian roadster is a concept from the talented design firm Carrozzeria Touring Superleggera, based on an Alfa Romeo 8C Competizione. Seven of them will be built.

2

BMW’s 2002 Hommage is about as close to being production ready as any concept we’ve seen. The original 2002 was the first turbocharged series production car in Europe, so this M2-based concept has real credentials.

DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017 GQ.CO.ZA 67


4

How about a track-only hydrogen powered supercar? Pininfarina’s H2 Speed concept is a one-off, and is the fastest zero-emission sports car. How about 0-100km/h in 3.4 guilt-free seconds? Why not.

5

The Rolls-Royce Vision Next 100 concept is really something. Effortless, autonomous, coachbuilt, zero-emissions, expressive, futuristic and bespoke – it’s all there. And if you plan on being an unruffled oligarch in the future, this’ll be your wheels. Maybe.

6

The Mazda RX-Vision concept is rotary bliss. This two-door, two-seat, front-engine, rear-drive is a single-purposed hottie that points to the future direction of Mazda’s KODO design language. Shorn of all but the essentials, it’s a modern interpretation of a classic sports car-design ethos.

7

We know you’re impeccably dressed, connected and wealthy, but are you one of the 99? It just so happens that Aston Martin will build only 99 of these Vanquish Zagato coupés. But stress not, they are already all sold out.

68 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017


GREAT DRIVE

FUN ON THE AUTOBAHN Porsche’s latest is so fast and so much fun, we’re not sure it’s legal Words by Dieter Losskarn

M

y flight from Jo’burg to Munich arrived 14 hours late. Exasperated and tired, I prepared to be picked up and chauffeured to the launch function on the beautiful Tegernsee lake. Instead, the nice guy with the Porsche sign handed me a key and said, ‘As you missed out on the afternoon loop, you can now drive the 4S to the hotel.’ Yes, I thought, the hunchback of Zuffenhausen has left the building. In this model, the whaleback is gone. The second-generation Panamera has only the badge in common with its predecessor. Like the initial Cayenne, the first Panamera wasn’t such a pretty sight. But this new Porsche Panamera 4S is gorgeous – and is sure to attract excited buyers. With a 911-esque derrière, it slots nicely into the Porsche family. And while the familiar engines are evolutionary, the true revolution happens inside. As dusk draws in I get to enjoy the interior landscape of high-definition displays, touch screens and touch-active consoles

70 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

THE LAST LAUGH Porsche was laughed at in 2009, when it crossed a sports car with a limousine and introduced the original Panamera. But it’s the carmaker that’s smiling now, with more than 150 000 Panameras sold.

even more. There is a 12-inch monitor and two seven-inch displays, with great graphics. I zoom in, swipe and scroll through the menus; it’s better than on any tablet. But that’s not all – the entire centre console is a sensitive playground and the Porche’s Advanced Cockpit throws all other competition back into the automobile stone age. But enough fumbling around in this fascinating interior, let’s hit the Autobahn. The night vision system illuminates the tarmac like the Yas Marina Grand Prix track during a night race. At 180km/h I feel comfortable, until an Audi S8 flashes its lights behind me. Even better, I think, a pace car. We stick together. Once off the Autobahn, the LED matrix headlights (with 84 light points) individually adapt to the narrow country road that leads me to the hotel. The next morning after breakfast, I’m ready to renew acquaintances – this time with the Panamera Turbo. The car accelerates like the last generation 911 GT3 – 0-100km/h in a mere 3.6 seconds. That’s a Nürburgring time of 7:38. Impressive for a sporty limousine. Driving in Sport Plus mode along these tight, twisty Bavarian mountain roads, I forget that I have another row of seats and two doors behind me. It feels wonderfully like a pure sports car, with an equally impressive backfiring rumble; music to my ears. And I have a new favourite button: what used to be the sports exhaust is

PORSCHE PANAMERA 4S POWER 3.0-l. V6 twin turbo (8-speed auto with dual-clutch transmission) 324kW and 550Nm

PERFORMANCE 0-100km/h 4.2 seconds; top speed 289km/h

CLAIMED FUEL 8.2-8.1 l/100km

porsche.co.za

now the overboost button. On the Autobahn it feels like a nitro injection, giving me 20 seconds of additional ‘fast and furious’. On a long, empty stretch I reach 230km/h. Then 240, 245, 250. I hit the overboost – 260km/h. Unbelievable, yet 46km/h from its top speed. I love the Autobahn – can something this fun still be legal?


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MOTORCYCLE

THE BRAWNIEST HIPSTER RIDE The popular BMW R nineT goes retro with the new Scrambler. Leather jacket and beard not included Words by Dieter Losskarn

F

ollowing the unexpected success of BMW’s R nineT motorcycle (the carmaker’s second best-selling model after the GS) comes the retro Scrambler. It’s BMW’s first soft enduro, and looks every bit the part of a heritage bike, loved by bearded hipsters the world over. After a close brush with discontinuity, the air-cooled boxer engine is back with a vengeance in BMW’s heritage bikes. With almost 1 200cc, a hearty 81kW and juicy 116Nm, enthusiasts say the Scrambler is the most desirable and sophisticated boxer yet. That crisp, sonorous tone that growls from the raised double-exhaust shows it, too. The sitting position has changed the bike: lower foot rests, higher, wider handlebars

and a lower front fork with a large 19-inch wheel mean superior strong-arm tactics. The Scrambler’s design remembers pre-enduro bikes from the ’50s and ’60s, when regular street bikes were fitted with wider handlebars, knobbly tyres and raised exhausts to go off the beaten track. But this

model is built for twisting back roads – it roars in delight along Chapman’s Peak Drive. While the knobbly Metzeler Karoo tyres might not be ideal on tar, they’re so brute that it doesn’t matter. In Europe the Scrambler comes with a comprehensive list of optional extras. Not so in South Africa – the first imported models came standard with the aluminium fuel tank with visible weave weld, heated grips, white LED indicators, off-road tyres and cross-spoke wheels. Later the more expensive aluminium tank was replaced with a steel one on the local version, marking the R nineT at R176 990 and the fully equipped Scrambler at R193 990 (base price from R170 000). The eagerly awaited ride will continue BMW’s heritage bike success story. It is a casual ride for easy-going people, only borrowing the drive, front light and wiring harness from the R nineT. The Scrambler has a new frame, new suspension, new seat and new instruments. In fact, there are more new than interchangeable parts. For instance, the round instrument can be equipped with an optional electronic rev counter that shows an analogue display. BMW cashed in on popular nostalgia,

and the R nineT immediately became an object of desire on the retro scene. Many bearded, leather jacketed, open-face helmeted riders have chosen this Beemer over custom bikes because it picks up the puristic design, reflected in the company’s heritage. The Scrambler then is more than a bike; it is a symbol of a particular lifestyle – so say the 25 000 models that have been sold so far. The Scrambler is not a clean-shaven cuddly bike, but a 220kg strong, bearded Bavarian character ride.

The Scrambler is more than a bike; it is a symbol of a particular lifestyle

BMW R NINET SCRAMBLER POWER 1.2-l. air-cooled boxer 81kW and 116Nm

PERFORMANCE 0-100km/h in 3.6 seconds; top speed over 200km/h

CLAIMED FUEL 5.9 l/100km

PRICE R193 990

bmw-motorrad.co.za

72 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017


GQ PROMOTION

Class act The P9 and P9 Plus are informed by the minimalist design concept of the P-series, creating an unmistakable and differentiated look that sets them apart from other devices in the crowded smartphone market, appealing to discerning fashion-conscious men want to stand out.

What’s the season’s best accessory for whatever life throws at you? Huawei’s dual-camera P9 and P9 Plus

T

here’s so much more to who you are than just what you do. When it comes to capturing life wherever it takes you, there’s no better companion than the dual-camera setup of the Huawei P9 and P9 Plus, co-engineered with Leica. The P9’s dual-camera shoots super sharp images that recreate every detail exactly how you see it – and it does so in a way that respects and embraces the art of photography.


Stay focused Capture sharp images with the P9’s built-in dual-core ISP, professional DSP, and depth measurement ISP for improved image focusing, speeds and processing.

Frame With an 8 megapixel front-facing camera, you’ll achieve superior selfies even in low light. Panorama mode gets the whole crew and all the scenery.

To u c h and go With secure fingerprint scanning technology, your important data stays protected. A choice of either 32 or 64GB of memory, and the P9 Plus’s 1.5 days of battery life, ensures you’ll be ready for anything. Superior connectivity comes in the form of WiFi+ 2.0 , which automatically connects to the strongest available WiFi network, and a virtual triple antenna – meaning you won’t ever need to worry about being off-grid.


GQ PROMOTION

Set the scene Co-engineered with Leica, the P9 packs in such a wide array of professional-grade features that you’ll feel great leaving the big bulky camera at home this holiday.

Like a pro The P9’s dual 12-megapixel cameras allow you to achieve professional photographic effects and access a powerful array of unique functions, including a choice of film modes, wide aperture effect, and professional mode.

You’ll be able to capture more light with two sensors – one RGB and one monochrome – and advanced merging software. And you can edit your images without compromising their quality through the professional mode with RAW output.


GQ PROMOTION

Get m ovi n g Feeling particularly active? The P9 is essential for those of us who move quickly. Take photos with incredible speed, depth and clarity with Hybrid Focus technology, using laser focus, depth measurement and contrast. In a snap

PHOTOGRAPHS BY TERI ROBBERTS USING THE HUAWEI P9 PLUS. CREATIVE DIRECTION BY JASON ALEXANDER BASSON

For those can’tmiss moments, the P9’s quick snap function comes in super handy – just tap the volume button twice, even in sleep mode, and you’ll grab the shot in under a second. In landscape mode, the P9 delivers stereo audio for the ultimate audio experience. Video is enhanced by a stunning 5.2” FHD display with 96% colour saturation and high contrast. The 3 400mAh battery with dual IC rapid charging means you’ll always have power on tap. And in a super thin, super stylish package, the Huawei P9 and P9 Plus allow you to explore new trends – and set them yourself.

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Wealth

The smart money: H O W T O S T AY F I N A N C I A L LY H E A L T H Y s T H E C E L E B S W H 0 ’ V E S O L D O U T

THE ART OF TRAVEL Words by Craig Tyson

Swedish-born Stephan Ekbergh opened an online travel business in South Africa 10 years ago. Now the former DJ and music promoter runs Africa’s biggest digital travel agency. He tells us how he got there

GQ: You started Travelstart in South Africa when the online travel business here was in its infancy. How have things changed? Stephan Ekbergh: My company pioneered online travel back in Scandinavia so we knew the dynamics very well. From research, I knew that the market was underserved and that travel agents had absurdly high service charges so they were going to be easy to compete with. Ten years on there is very little online competition, which I’ve not got my head around. Internet speed is decent but still the most expensive in the world. People use the mobile for everything now; about 50 per cent of our searches comes from mobile and 30 per cent of bookings. As for local flights, most people now book online. GQ: What makes Travelstart different to other travel agencies? SE: We are a value-led business so our company culture rules supreme. Our culture is not just words on a wall but comes from our

early days when we had to fight very hard to get anywhere. Those years in Scandinavia, when we were up against lot of competition with tens of millions of dollars in funding – we had $25 000 – made us who we are and directs our vision today. Our mission is to fix travel in Africa for the benefit of the consumer. We’re doing that through technology, better service and lower fares. GQ: How important is technology to your business? SE: We are a tech-based company so it’s at our core. Everything goes through technology one way or another. Tech is always about making something complex easy, and we believe that by investing in technology we will not only make it better, easier and more transparent for the consumer, but cheaper as well. When it comes to investing in tech we far outspend our competitors on this continent. GQ: What changes do you foresee for travel in the future? SE: The future will be more personalised, more instant and more now. The biggest challenge is the move to mobile. Mobile changes the game for everyone because behaviour on mobile is so different to that on desktop. When you search Johannesburg-London flights, you’ll get maybe 300 results on desktop. This doesn’t work on mobile, so we need to work on getting people the right kind of fares. The after-sales and service has to become a lot more personal. GQ: Is there a secret to your success? SE: If there is any secret sauce it would be the following recipe: one part God’s grace, one part naivety, one part timing/luck, one part really understand what industry you’re in, and one part understanding what customers want and like. GQ: What’s the best aspect of your job, the thing that keeps you coming back each day? SE: It’s been different over the years. In the early days I guess it was figuring >>

‘South Africa also has a place in peoples’ hearts around the world. That’s an incredible asset the lawmakers should use smartly’ DECEMBER 2016 /JANUARY 2017 GQ.CO.ZA 77


PROFILE

I come home for dinner every day. I might miss one or two but that’s it. Exercise is important, as is sleep and cannot be compromised. Have the right priorities – work should only be number two or three on the list. GQ: You have a strong web presence in Africa. What are the biggest obstacles/challenges you face? SE: Weak currencies, computer illiteracy, dollar shortages (in Nigeria and Egypt) which impact on airfare pricing, trust issues, and the fact that many Africans prefer to pay cash. 78 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016 /JANUARY 2017

browse. People base their opinions more than ever on what they see and hear on Facebook and Twitter. Those with an opposing view keep quiet. Most people don’t understand that the world does not give a F about their opinions. People have become less tolerant with each other than before and that scares me. I like to say that people know more and more about less and less, and soon they will know everything about nothing. But is it a vital component in our everyday lives? I don’t think so. GQ: You were a disruptor in the travel industry – are you still? Who are the new disruptors? SE: No, I’m a dinosaur now, but I know it, so therefore we need to be more agile and vigilant. There are many new interesting companies out there. The problem they all face is that they solve one small issue but they are still dependent on the infrastructure and supply relations we have spent a decade building. GQ: Do you think we’ll travel to Mars in the near future? SE: I’m struggling to see the value in Elon Musk’s endeavour, but I praise him anyway. Why did man want to climb Mt Everest, go to the South Pole, circumnavigate the globe? It was human ambition and ego to do these things. The result was that it pushed mankind forward. And I believe that a Mars programme will do this and more. By the time we are ready to go technology will be so advanced that it will be much more efficient, safer and cheaper that it is today. GQ: You’re an art collector – what does art mean to you? SE: Good art makes me think and it makes

me smile. It expands my horizons. Great artists are entrepreneurs and pathfinders. I can relate to them much more than I can to business people. I think discipline and creativity make a great company. GQ: You’ve always been positive about the place you choose to call home. Are you confident we can still take the high road? SE: I think South Africa is a miracle country; anything is possible here. South Africa also has a place in peoples’ hearts around the world. Something that strikes me is that many people want to move here. Not many people want to move to China, Italy, Thailand, Nigeria and so on. That’s an incredible asset the lawmakers should use smartly. Every smart person they give a work visa and permanent residency to will, over time, increase the GDP. I had to fight hard for my work visa. It cost me lots of time and money. And for these 10 years we have given hundreds and hundreds of people jobs. We paid hundreds of millions in taxes and tens of millions in charity. If we can stop being so political about everything we would do much better.

Five things I learnt from being a DJ 1. You need to be able to read the room and see where the crowd is at. 2. You need experience and instinct for how you do that. 3. Work at it until you have the result that you want. A set is like a story. It needs to go somewhere, it needs highs and lows, and, of course, a climax. 4. Trust your gut to make the right decisions. 5. Know what people want. Data will only get you so far. It will tell you your numbers are great, but not if your customers hate you. The only ‘data’ you have is how many people are on the floor and how they are reacting to your music. That’s why in business (and in whatever you do) you will always have the upper hand if you know what people like.

ILLUSTRATION BY GARETH GREY

out how it would all work. Right now we’re working on cracking Africa. Travel is complex – most people need a visa to go anywhere – yet many don’t understand their responsibility when they purchase online. You can’t buy a gun online and blame the seller if you don’t know how to handle it. Same thing with travel. People will book a trip online and think the visa issue will magically handle itself. With more freedom comes responsibility and from what I have seen to date, South Africans love the freedom but not always the responsibility. GQ: What’s so great about travel? SE: I don’t think the technical aspects of travel are great at all; most people don’t really like airports and aeroplanes and being harassed by security officers. But it connects people, cultures and beliefs. You can read a lot about a place, yet by being there you have a completely different understanding. I’ve travelled to Asia a lot for business and I have tremendous respect for the work ethic there, but what’s holding back young people is their fear of failure: everything has to be perfect – and nothing is perfect. GQ: What’s the most important packing rule? SE: Take as little as possible; you don’t need to change shirts every day. GQ: What’s your favourite holiday destination? SE: That depends on what I want to do. For cities I love Tokyo, London, New York. For spending time with my wife, favourite spots are Lake Como and Villa d’Este in Italy. GQ: Where’s the most remote place you ever been ? SE: Probably Manaus in the Amazon in Brazil. GQ: What kind of work colleagues do you surround yourself with? SE: People with lots of energy and passion. People with faith and warrior spirit, and people who are good at what they do. GQ: How important is a work-life balance to you? SE: I normally don’t work over weekends.


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S TA R GA Z I N G

A GALAXY OF BRAND AMBASSADORS

Remember when ‘selling out’ was the worst thing a star could do? Now everyone’s doing it. And no one cares. Here’s a who’s who of product endorsers

WILL FERRELL

BRAD PITT HEINEKEN

CHEVY CHASE DANIEL CRAIG

BUD LIGHT

BRADLEY COOPER

DORITOS

HEINEKEN

HÄAGEN-DAZS

PATRICK SWAYZE

CLIVE OWEN

PABST BLUE RIBBON

THREE OLIVES

RACHAEL RAY DUNKIN’ DONUTS

LEBRON JAMES

STEVEN TYLER

MCDONALDS

SKITTLES

HELEN MIRREN BUDWEISER

GWYNETH PALTROW JENNIFER ANISTON

MARTINI

WATER

CHARLIZE THERON

GEORGE CLOONEY

VERNE TROYER

NESPRESSO

GEICO

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER

MARTINI & ROSSI

DAVID LYNCH

LIN SAY LOHAN

BUD LIGHT

JULIA ROBERTS LAVAZZA

SIGNATURE CUP

INSURANCE

ALEC BALDWIN CAPITAL ONE

HULU

ROBERT DENIRO

TINA FEY

SAMUEL L JACKSON

AMERICAN EXPRESS

AMERICAN EXPRESS

CAPITAL ONE

MERYL STREEP AMERICAN EXPRESS

JENNIFER GARNER AMAZON ECHO

CAPITAL ONE

NEW ERA

KATE MCKINNON

KATE WINSLET

MASTERCARD

CREDIT SHARKS

KEVIN BACON VISA

AMERICAN EXPRESS

ALEC BALDWIN DISNEY WORLD

WILLEM DAFOE

QUVENZHANE WALLIS

MERCEDES

MASERATI

STEPHEN COLBERT

NUT STUFF

AMY POEHLER

FRED ARMISEN OLD NAVY

OLD NAVY

WONDERFUL PISTACHIOS

TOM HIDDLESTON

SENSIBLE DENIM

JAGUAR

CHARLIE SHEEN

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY

LELO CONDOMS

LINCOLN

80 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

WHEELS

JAM S FRANCO

PAUL DANO

JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS

SCION

GAP

OLD NAVY


FINANCE

YOUR ANNUAL CHECK-UP Your financial wellness is as important as your physical fitness. Just as your health needs to be checked on a regular basis, so do your finances Words by Bruce Cameron

A

good time to check your financial health is at the end of the old year and with the ushering in of the new one. A lot can happen in a year: the number of people dependant on you can change, as can your income, tax rates and investment returns can fluctuate, interest rates can be volatile. And all of this can affect the balance sheet of how much you own, how much you need to own and how much you owe. HERE ARE 10 THINGS YOU SHOULD CHECK NOW

Over the past 12 months have you become wealthier? Has your financial health improved? 2. YOUR DEBT

South Africans generally borrow too much. Even those who keep their borrowing in check may find that rising interest rates and static income can push them into the borrowed-too-much category. You need to curtail bad debt, namely money borrowed to buy depreciating assets, like your smartphone and other gadgets. You also need to keep an eye on good debt used to finance appreciating assets like your home. Interest rate hikes could make your finances unhealthy. Reducing debt will lower your stress levels. 3. YOUR SAVINGS

You should be saving at least 15 per cent of what you earn. Sounds tough, particularly when you have school fees to pay, debt to reduce and increasing household costs. But start slowly and gradually

ratchet up the percentage. Get into the habit of making it the first thing you deduct from your income each month. Have goals and time frames.

You should be saving at least 15 per cent of what you earn

4. YOUR INVESTMENTS

Investing means risking some of your savings to make sure they do not lose value due to inflation. Get your money to work for you. Decide on a reasonable amount of risk to achieve that return. This is not static as the decisions you make can change, you can set new targets and take more risk. 5. YOUR LIFE ASSURANCE

Few breadwinners have the wealth to support dependants if they are no longer able to earn an income. The answer here is life insurance. The amount of life insurance you need changes all the time and is affected by the value of your assets, the amount of debt you have, the number of dependants and their ages, and even how much tax you must pay at death (this took a nasty upward jump this year when capital gains tax

82 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/JANUARY 2017

which cover major calamities to comprehensive plans which cover a part of most medical costs. Each year, decide which option best suits you and any dependents. 8. YOUR INSURANCE

was increased to an effective 16.4 per cent of any gain). 6. YOUR TAX

Tax changes almost every year. Capital gains tax is one example of a change over the past year but there was another which, in effect, has increased the maximum possible deduction against taxable income from 15 per cent to 27.5 per cent. If you are on the top marginal tax rate of 41 per cent: for every rand you save in a retirement-savings vehicle, you are effectively saving 41 cents in tax. You need to take advantage of every tax break available. 7. YOUR MEDICAL INSURANCE

Medical insurance is costly, but even more so is a lengthy stay in hospital. It comes in many guises, from basic hospital plans

Just as you need to ensure that you have an alternative source of income in case of unexpected tragedy, so you also need to insure against the loss of physical assets (your car, home or its contents). Again, the amount of cover you need will change from year to year. 9. YOUR BUDGET

Consider setting up a spreadsheet that allows you to consolidate all this financial information. Use it as a year-by-year comparison of how financially healthy you are and to help set targets for the new year. 10. YOUR EMERGENCY SAVINGS

Remember, no plan needs to be set in stone. Your best-made plans could come apart through no fault of your own, so it’s important to provide for an emergency nest egg equal to, at least, your expenses for six months.

ILLUSTRATION BY KEENAN JEPPE

1. YOUR WEALTH


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GQ MAN

Justin Timberlake’s smarter approach to life includes doing comic voice-overs, soundtrack production, fatherhood, and, if he finds the time, a new album

‘It’s just unabashed. Where else can you find Gandalf and a Stormtrooper having a beer? They go hard here.’ Justin Timberlake is speaking about his experience at Comic-Con, where he did some promotional work for DreamWorks Animation’s Trolls. In the film, the 35-year-old Timberlake voices Branch, a troll who has grown weary of his community’s deliriously happy existence, singing on cue and taking breaks throughout the day to hug. However, it is this behaviour that attracts a monstrous race called the Bergen, who get their own happy highs by eating the trolls. Branch has become so cantankerous that his bright skin and hair tone has drained to muted colours. He’s taken on something of a survivalist’s existence, too, focused on just one thing: defending himself against a Bergen attack. When that moment comes, the plot sends Branch and bubbly Poppy (voiced by Anna Kendrick) off on their way through a vibrant, trippy environment. A cheery musical wrought with colourful, tactile-like craftsmanship, the film has a shot at success, as audiences flock to feel-good toons in the midst of dire world conditions. That dark climate was very much a part of the DreamWorks panel discussion at last July’s Comic-Con in San Diego, the US. ‘The world right now is a cynical toilet,’ moderator and comedian Chris Hardwick said. Trolls director Mike Mitchell took Hardwick’s cue, noting that ‘the news is depressing. We were really excited to make a film that would make people happy and feel good.’ And that extended to the music, too. In addition to voice acting, Timberlake was tasked with producing the film’s soundtrack, which features reworkings of songs by artists Earth Wind & Fire, Simon & Garfunkel, Gorillaz and Cyndi Lauper. Not only that, but he also wrote original songs for the film, including ‘Can’t Stop the Feeling’, his first single since 2014 which soared to the top of music charts. Timberlake says the upbeat track, reminiscent of the late-’70s disco-punk confluence, was inspired by Michael

‘Having a child gives you a different insight. It’s like The Matrix, man. You open a door and there’s this whole other world on the other side of it’

Justin Timberlake wrote the single ‘Can’t Stop the Feeling’ for the animation film Trolls – his first single since 2014

Jackson, Bill Withers and the Bee Gees. ‘I kept bringing up Saturday Night Fever with this movie,’ he says. ‘The filmmakers say they were inspired by the two sides of the ’70s; the two different worlds this movie exists in. So I said, “Let’s make a song that sounds like it could be from the ’70s, but make it modern.” Nothing was out that sort of sounded like that, and it just felt like it was perfect for the movie.” For Timberlake it was also a personally serendipitous time to tackle this kind of material: his son, Silas, is amost two years old and, while he doesn’t necessarily feel that having a child inspires his artistic choices, Timberlake says it definitely informs them. ‘I’d be leaving out the whole truth if I didn’t say having him shaped what the song actually is,’ he says. ‘[Having a child] gives you a different insight. It’s like The Matrix, man. You open a door and there’s this whole other world on the other side of it. And you look back through the door at the other world and you’re like, “What was I doing there?”’ Being back in the studio and having his hands all over a film soundtrack (a dream of his) also lit the spark for a new album. He’s been working on a follow-up to his 2013 double album The 20/20 Experience ever since Trolls came into his life, but he’s approaching it casually. ‘I’m kind of taking my time,’ he says. ‘I’m doing the Woody [Allen] movie in the autumn, so that was unexpected. ‘I think for the first time >>

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GQ MAN

in my career, I feel like I can slow down and be a little more patient.’ Speaking of the Allen project, which also stars Kate Winslet, Juno Temple and Jim Belushi, Timberlake is abrupt when asked if there was any trepidation in taking on the role – given the resurgence of previous allegations that Allen sexually assaulted his own daughter, Dylan, two decades ago. ‘No, I don’t get into that stuff, man,’ he says. Timberlake wants to keep his acting career revved. In particular, he would love to reunite with The Social Networkhelmer, David Fincher, who also directed the music video for ‘Suit & Tie’ from The 20/20 Experience. ‘Whenever he needs me, I am a masochist and he is very good at being a sadist,’ Timberlake says. ‘I enjoy working with David so much because you go home at night and go, “Well, I don’t think we could have tried anything else.” You really feel like you left it on the floor. I find so much of filmmaking is maddening because you get to the end of principal photography and

you go, “Oh, now I know how to play this role.” But his level: it’s a different type of meticulous. It’s one of a kind.’ For now, it’s back into the studio to finish that new album – in his own time, at his own pace. It’s a downward gear-shift he attributes to, what else, getting older. ‘Maybe it’s the difference between 20s and 30s. The difference between “must achieve”, and now: “Work smarter, not harder.” You want to have time for your family.’

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GQ MAN

Timberlake shares personal moments with his 37.7m followers on Instagram

From top: with his infant son; with wife Jessica Biel; anticipating the birth of his first child; with his son Silas; celebrating his 40th birthday with friends

WORDS BY VARIETY. PHOTOGRAPHS COURTESY OF TIMES MEDIA FILMS

‘I’m kind of taking my time… I think for the first time in my career, I feel like I can slow down and be a little more patient’

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3&'3&4):06345:-&


ILLUSTRATION BY GARETH GREY

The Roaring Twenties are back and everyone wants to party like Gatsby (or Leo or AKA) – with jazz bands, cocktails and sheath-skirted women dancing the Black Bottom. Here’s how to set your summer holiday on fire

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HOW TO PARTY LIKE YOU’RE JAY GATSBY Words by Matthew Holt

cott Fitzgerald’s 1926 novel, The Great Gatsby, succinctly captured the mood of the Jazz Age, when the young generation abandoned their parents’ strictures, embracing drinking, dancing and sex. Fitzgerald, along with his wife Zelda, personified this era, burning the candle at both ends in a dizzying whirl of wild parties. Here’s how you too can be the centre of your social universe.

HAVE TONS OF MONEY The most important attribute is to be rich – not just comfortably well off, but fabulously wealthy. Ideally your fortune will be inherited, with your benefactors long dead, as Gatsby claims his are. If you must work for your living, then it should be effortless and highly paid – perhaps in finance, crime or both. FACT: Though fascinated by the idle rich, Fitzgerald inconveniently came from a modest background and had to earn his living writing. Nonetheless, by his early twenties, he was making $30 000 per annum (equivalent to R5.8m today) from short stories and novels.

BOAST AN IMPRESSIVE RÉSUMÉ You’ll have an exclusive, top-notch education behind you, from primary school through to university. However, you won’t have spent much time studying – no fun – and you’ll have excelled at sports. Frankly, only the likes of Michaelhouse or Hilton will do, then Stellenbosch or UCT, ideally followed by a stint at Gatsby’s alma mater, Oxford University. If you had the misfortune to attend Boksburg High and the University of Zululand, all is not lost – like many parastatal heads, you’ll just have to inflate or buy your qualifications. After all, Gatsby only went to Oxford on an army officers’ summer course. 94 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

FACT: An academic snob rather than diligent scholar, Fitzgerald blagged his way into the elite Princeton University, where he duly failed his exams, only receiving an honorary degree because he’d enlisted in the army.

CUT A DASH You mustn’t be discreet with your fortune or go investing it wisely. No, the sole point of being rich is to flaunt it. Gatsby rents a colossal, imitationFrench mansion on the beachfront at West Egg, drives a canary yellow Rolls-Royce with a three-toned horn, and has two motor boats and a hydroplane in which to buzz the neighbours around. His wardrobe, which is sent over from England each season, includes sheer linen and thick silk monogrammed shirts. FACT: Fitzgerald was an extravagant spendthrift, living consistently beyond his humble means. Eschewing the responsibilities of home ownership, he rented homes and hotels, with his preferred residences in New York being the Plaza (which features in The Great Gatsby) and Knickerbocker (where the martini cocktail was invented). In 1922, he rented a large house on Great Neck, Long Island, which inspired his fictional West Egg.

THE NEGRONI Created in the Grand Hotel Baglioni in Florence, the Negroni has stuck around since the 1920s when people started finding ways of getting drunker, faster. When cocktails rose in popularity a lot of them were, frankly, trashy. But the Negroni has always maintained a level of class and distinction. WHAT YOU’LL NEED

MAKE SURE EVERYONE HAS PARTY F.O.M.O Your parties must be the talk of the town, with no expense or extravagance spared. At the very least there will be cocktails and Champagne, jazz bands and orchestras, acrobats and jugglers, fireworks and hired dancers. Unlike Gatsby, who hovers casually in the background, Fitzgerald took centre stage at his parties, dancing in the fountains, inaugurating food fights and smashing Champagne flutes. The parties typically only ended at dawn, with Fitzgerald passed out in the garden.

1 shot Wilderer gin 1 shot Campari 1 shot sweet vermouth orange peel to garnish RECIPE

You can serve a Negroni neat or on the rocks. Both are great, but serving it neat is better for the flavours to come together, and not get watered down by the melting ice. Again, this is a really easy cocktail to make: simply add the gin, Campari and vermouth in a tumbler, and add the orange peel with a slight twist to release the essential oils – that’s where the flavour is.


HOLD YOUR BOOZE As you’ve probably gathered, it’s quite a bibulous lifestyle, with Champagne for breakfast, then highballs for lunch. So, please look after your liver; this is a responsible magazine after all. Though Gatsby made his fortune in the liquor trade and serves up booze aplenty to his guests, he’s actually quite abstemious himself. FACT: Fitzgerald wasn’t quite so disciplined. In fact, he was notorious for getting spectacularly drunk. At one party he boiled all the ladies’ handbags in tomato sauce, at another he spent the meal under the dinner table snapping at guests’ legs, and after another he deliberately drove his car into a pond. But what was amusing behaviour in his twenties became irritating and boorish as the years passed, with the heavy drinking taking its toll on his health and looks.

INVITE BEAUTIFUL, VACUOUS GUESTS Your wealth, magnetism and dissolute lifestyle will invariably attract women, so you’ll need to choose carefully. Don’t go looking for a deep soul mate. No, your ideal partner should be beautiful and vacuous. For all his worldly nous, Gatsby is still hopelessly love struck with the selfish, fl ighty Daisy Buchanan, after she dumped him for being a poor soldier to instead marry someone enormously wealthy. Refusing to let her go, he gets mistaken for her husband and shot dead. Fitzgerald’s choice of partner was almost as bad. His wife, Zelda, was arty, ambitious and highly strung. After rejecting his fi rst marriage proposal because he was too poor, she only agreed to marry him when his debut novel was a commercial success. Initially they made a dazzling couple. However, as Zelda became increasingly jealous of her husband’s success, their relationship deteriorated, and in the 1930s they effectively separated.

THE PERFECT NIGHT OUT A new wave of chic eateries

JOHANNESBURG LA ROSA MEXICAN GRILLE AND TEQUILERIA Who doesn’t love Mexican? This new spot serves all the favourites – tacos, burritos, enchiladas, fajitas – plus more than 40 tequilas in the upstairs tequileria. Open 12pm-10pm. Honeydew Village Centre, corner John Vorster Drive and Christian De Wet Road, Weltevredenpark; 011-675-2544

CAPE TOWN FOXCROFT Welcoming, casual and committed to quality and flavour, this collaboration between top chef Scot Kirton (of La Colombe) and pastry chef Glen Foxcroft Williams promises to be exceptional. Open 12pm-2pm and 6pm8:30pm. High Constantia Shopping Centre, Constantia Main Road; 021-202-3304

WORDS BY STACEY NEL

Live fast and large, because it won’t last forever. Failure, disaster and – worst of all – old age lurk just around the corner. But hang on, old sport, don’t mope. You’re not there yet. So live for today and make it count.

Open 12pm-11pm. Naturally Yours Centre, 453 Main Road, Bryanston; 074-145-3772

RITUAL CAFE It might be small, but this bistro has a big heart, and offers an eclectic menu of fresh and tasty meals. Open Tuesday-Saturday 12pm-2:30pm, 6pm-9:30pm. 32 7th Street,

LA PARADA After careful restoration and renovation, La Parada has opened its doors in the historic Constantia Nek restaurant. The new menu is bursting with a variety of tapas and sharing plates, conceived by executive chef Martin Senekai. Jointly occupying the space is seafood restaurant HARBOUR HOUSE (021-795-0688). Open 12pm-10pm. 1 Hout

Linden; 079-573-3989

Bay Road, Constantia; 021-795-0620

THE MESS In the trendy De Waterkant, The Mess cashes in on the trend of plate sharing, with a flavourful menu that is designed to be eaten communally. Open Monday-Saturday 6pm-10pm. The Rockwell Hotel, Napier Street, Green Point; 021-418-3910

COCOSAFAR An experience unlike any other, this luxury café, espresso bar, couture pâtisserie and capsule emporium elevates the daily ritual to the extravagant. Open Monday-Friday 7:30am-9pm, Saturday 8:30am-9pm,

CARPE DIEM

SEASON’S CUISINE The idea that we are what we eat is at the core of this restaurant’s operation. Offering clean, healthy food sourced from organic farms, this is good food the natural way.

Sunday 8:30am-6pm. Ground floor, Cavendish Square; 021-671-1607

BLANKO The Kove Collection’s newest addition is an all-day affair. Open 12pm-10:30pm. Alphen Drive, Constantia; 021-795-6300

THE COSMOPOLITAN BAR Chef Dario de Angeli of Cube Tasting Kitchen and Workshop 55 brings his love of goodlooking and delectable food to this revamped heritage building in the Maboneng Precinct. Open Tuesday-Saturday 10am-late, Sunday 10am-6pm. 24 Albrecht Street, Maboneng; 082-422-8158

MARBLE What is summer without a braai? David Higgs’s new eatery, Marble, takes flamegrilled to another level, boasting seating for 250 people on the rooftop of the Keyes Art Mile. Open 12pm-10pm. Trumpet on Keyes, Corner Keyes and Jellicoe Avenues, Rosebank; 010-594-5550 DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017 GQ.CO.ZA 95


THE BIG READS Whether you’re after pure escapism or food for thought, here are the books to see you through the hot months

You know that name from… Breaking hearts with Atonement, challenging gender roles back in 1978

A precocious embryo tells a story based on the plot of Hamlet – it’s typically clever and entertaining.

In a nutshell…

crawl with The Cement Garden, and exploring contentious topics like the war in Iraq, euthanasia and incest.

Swing Time by Zadie Smith (R305, Penguin Random House)

I’ll Take You There by Wally Lamb (R305, Penguin Random House)

You know that name from… Any of her five award-winning novels, most likely

White Teeth, which put her on every ‘best young authors’ list back in 2000. To sum it up… This is a story about, Smith says, ‘tap dancing, blackness and time’ and also how we’re shaped by the families we’re born with and the ones we find. Read it because… Woven into the beautiful writing are insightful ideas about race and postcolonialism.

Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen (R220, Simon & Schuster)

You know that

Hitler, Verwoerd, Mandela and Me by Marianne Thamm (R280, Tafelberg)

You know that

The Springbok Coaches by Gavin Rich (R230,Penguin Random Hhouse)

name from…

You know that

name from…

You know that

I Know This Much Is True, Lamb’s harrowing and heartfelt novel about the ripple effects of a school shooting. To sum it up… Told over a film professor’s life, the story is about the generations of women who’ve shaped him. Read it because… Well, it’s going to be released as an app, which might be a milestone in the publishing industry – or just enjoy Lamb’s fiction because it’s very good.

name from…

If you don’t know

name from…

Her journalism, her

the song ‘Born to

He’s been covering

columns, or the

Run’, we know

SA rugby for more

soon-to-be-filmed

you’ll know ‘Born

than two decades.

I Have Life: Alison’s Journey. To sum it up… After a lifetime of expertly telling the stories of others, Thamm turns her attention to her own tale – and the people who’ve influenced her, from her family to the formidable trio of the title. Read it because… Identity in SA is a confusing thing, and Thamm’s made some sense of grappling with it.

in the USA’ – but if

To sum it up…

you haven’t and

It’s been a truly

you’re very young

miserable year for

we get it, just

Springbok rugby.

Google them both

Why, we all ask?

right away.

It doesn’t start

To sum it up…

with the coaches,

The iconic

but that’s as good

songwriter-

a place to begin.

musician finally

Read it because…

tells his own story

Rich spoke to all

– and his way with

the post-isolatoin

words is just as

coaches for their

clearly displayed

views – and each

here as in his

one says the

music.

problem starts at

Read it because…

the top with the

A music icon who

silent men who run

can tell his own

rugby in SA. It’s an

story well is rare.

illuminating read.

THE SURPRISINGLY REFRESHIN BRAAI DRIN Nutshell No. 1 by Ian McEwan (R365, Penguin Random House)

Chilled reds are a thing. When takes prominence. When coole reds can be served at around 1 15-18°C. (13°C means 30-40 m themselves best to cooling are lighter, less complicated with lower tannins, like those you’d drink at a braai. Try the Clarington 2014 Merlot at under R100.

96 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

REVIEWED BY CAYLEIGH BRIGHT AND CRAIG TYSON

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THE RIDES WE’RE LOVIN’ 1. MINI CLUBMAN COOPER S The largest MINI on the market has plenty of turbo power for fun in the sun

POWER 2.0 TwinPower turbo, 8-speed auto 141kW and 280Nm

PERFORMANCE 0-100km/h 6.9 seconds; top speed 228 km/h

The Clubman Cooper S has been our drive this summer, here’s what we’ve come to love about the big-hearted MINI:

r r

BASE PRICE R438 000

r

mini.co.za

r

Its sophistication, sportiness and stylish looks. The go-kart-like handling that combines with a smooth and comfortable ride quality. The space factor: ample head and leg room, 360 litres of boot space and 17-inch wheels (19 inches optional). The easy access: the rear doors open easily for added practicality when your hands are full and you need to get into the boot.

And features like this: s 0ARKDISTANCECONTROL ANTI DAZZLE interior mirror, performance control, cruise control, 6.5-inch screen with MINI connected and run flat tyres, LED headlights and fog lamps. s 4HREEDRIVINGMODES3PORT -ID and Green. s ! NIN CARENTERTAINMENTPACK with Harman Kardon audio system, navigation and bluetooth streaming. s 4HEPANORAMICSUNROOF HEATED seats and sun protection glazing on the windows. s (IGH QUALITYBUILDANDDESIGN finishes. s !CHOICEOFCOLOURSANDTHREE roof contrast options.

2. SPECIALIZED S-WORKS TURBO LEVO FSR 6FATTIE It’s hot, it’s uphill – you need a boost to get you home. Flip on the 530-watt turbo motor and you’re cruising. The powerful electric motor, high-capacity battery integrated into the down tube, disc brakes, and a sleek alloy frame are what make this e-bike such an attractive option for the trail rider. Add the Mission Control app for full control of the turbo technology and an integrated Trail Display with all the ride metrics you need, and you’re looking at the future of trail bikes.

3. FREEBOARD Powerful motors thwart gravity on the hills, allowing you to coast the streets with ease, and the sleek bamboo deck offers awesome shock absorption. With adjustable speed, high-performance braking and a super-responsive remote control, this skateboard promises the ride of your life. From

From R63 000, specialized.com

selected weFix stores

R13 999, houdt.co.za and

5 WAYS TO MAKE IT THROUGH 1

Start the day with lemon juice Half a lemon squeezed into a glass of warm water will cleanse your palate, help flush out your kidneys and liver and remove toxins.

2

Add Epsom salts to your bath It relieves pain and muscle cramps, improves circulation, flushes toxins and produces serotonin that helps the brain relax. Find it in the baking aisle.

98 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

3

Go barefoot It’s healthier and shoes carry more bacteria than you can count. Plus, you’ll give all those tiny muscles in your feet a workout, strengthening them.

4

Find solace outdoors Do some activity on your own, away from the hellish crowds all going in the same direction. Swim against the current. And do it somewhere beautiful.

5

Slow down Everything from eating to drinking to sex and sleep improves if you’re not rushed and unfocused. Stop and smell the roses, or pick up a good book.


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THE INDEPENDENT SPIRIT Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re seeing the dawn of a movement towards the alternative, the unique, and the handmade, driven by a new breed of free thinkers who are reimagining everything from what we wear to how we express ourselves. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time to celebrate a new era of independence, freedom, and integrity


s men, we’re bombarded almost every day with images, ideas and examples of what a ‘real man’ is – and frankly, it’s hard to keep up. Are we supposed to be built like Vernon Koekemoer? Do we really have to know how to change a tyre? Do we always have to wear suits to work? Does everything we drink need to be bound by years of stodgy traditions or be more complicated than a Swiss watch?

ometimes the most creative businesses can start in the most unexpected places (see Zuckerberg, Mark or Gates, Bill). For two brothers at university, the small business they started has taken the product they created in the basement of an administration building all over the country and even as far as the Netherlands. ‘I studied engineering at Stellenbosch, and I stated making clothes while in res,’ explains Freedom of Movement co-founder Roal Boezaart. As interest grew, the university offered Boezaart a small workshop space on campus – but after just six months, demand was flying, and Roal and his financially-minded brother Léan, moved to a warehouse space outside Stellenbosch. All the goods are locally sourced and manufactured, and even the name is homegrown.

104 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

Who knows. Around here, we like to think that knowing the rules is good, but knowing how to bend, break or even ignore the rules to suit who you are is even better. And some of the most innovative people in history have been those who were always a bit ‘rogue’ – people who weren’t afraid to take a left-field approach to their work, their passions, their lives. That idea guides our look into what makes up The Independent Spirit: the kind of thinking that embraces authenticity, freedom and independence in all aspects of life. And it’s

Roal explains: ‘One of my father’s favourite sayings was that we had “freedom of movement” – if our marks were good, then we could go out as late as we wanted. It has great meaning to us, and it fits in with the bags – freedom to explore, freedom to do what you’re passionate about.’ When it comes to growth Roal says, ‘We have four retail shops at the moment, but we’re opening one early

Know the rules – and know when to throw them out the mentality that’s driven the gentlemen you’ll meet on the next few pages to revolutionise everything they touch. They’ve shaken off the stuffy, pretentious and outdated aspects of industries as diverse as tattoo artistry, architecture and even entertainment. They’re motivated by integrity, consistency and quality – traits they never compromise. Over the next few pages, and across GQ.co.za this month, you’ll learn how these ideals continuously push these guys into new heights – and how drawing on your own independent spirit can do the same for you. – Nkosiyati Khumalo

next year in Durban. We’re also exporting the product, with bases in Amsterdam and Melbourne. But it has to grow locally.’ With handmade leather bags, wallets, caps, T-shirts and watches, it’s just a matter of time. freedomofmovement.co.za


Inside the mind of Soweto’s coolest tattoo artist

12 000 BC Humans start giving each other tattoos, pricking the skin and rubbing ashes into the wound.

1691 Explorer William Dampier brings a heavily inked Polynesian man named Prince Giolo (the Painted Prince) back from his travels and puts him on exhibition in London. Sibusiso ‘Tiger’ Nkabine in his studio

1891 Samuel O’Reilly patents

Are tattoos taboo? Not anymore, if Sibusiso ‘Tiger’ Nkabinde has anything to say about it. Here, the Soweto-based tattoo artist tells us how attitudes on tattoos are changing – and why Soweto is SA’s new centre of cool.

Get the full interview at GQ.co.za

How did you first get into the tattoo game? A friend had made a makeshift tattoo machine. He had the technical side of it on lock, but had no idea how to draw, and that’s where I came in; he came to my house with the machine and inks that he had acquired, and a portrait of his pit bull that he wanted to be placed on his chest. Hesitant at first, I eventually softened up to the idea of drawing on skin as opposed to paper and walls (I was a graffiti artist at the time). Needless to say, I was anxious, but eventually we were both satisfied with the outcome, and he was so elated that he suggested I keep the machine. He told the whole neighbourhood that there was a new tattoo artist in town. At this point, I was tattooing as a hobby, for free. Back then I didn’t foresee what it is now. How popular is getting a tattoo in Soweto, or perhaps, even in black culture in South Africa? What’s been your experience? It has grown tremendously from it being a very risky and scary experience to being a lifestyle move –it’s the coolest thing getting inked in Soweto. I’m honoured to be a the forefront of this new era. Initially, people got inked in the hood mainly because it was a fraction of what one would have paid in the city; now it’s all about getting inked by the Soweto elite. We, as the artists in Soweto, have been working on our skills for years to bridge the gap between city and hood tattoos.

Do you think the overall attitude on tattoos has changed? The perspective on tattooing in Soweto has been gradually conforming towards a more understandable approach; the masses are now being exposed to the craft firsthand and get to be informed about all the misconceptions that we grew up with. We artists are leading the change by informing everyone we can. @inksmith89

the electric tattooing machine..

1988 Rihanna is born. ’Nuff said.

1999 David Beckham gets his first tattoo following the birth of his first son, Brooklyn. Today he has more than 40.

2000 Memento, starring Guy Pearce as a man who tattoos himself to combat amnesia, is released.

2013 Broadcaster David Dimbleby gets his first tattoo at 75.

DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017 GQ.CO.ZA 107


DJ Speedsta on his organic rise to the top At 24, DJ Speedsta’s growing entertainment empire has all but skyrocketed. You can spot him on Vuzu, catch his shows on YFM, or see him weekly at virtually every top club in the country. We pinned Speedsta (born Lesego Nkaiseng) down for a quick chat about staying authentic and how going your own way opens up doors.

Why do you think you’ve been able to achieve the success you have? Everything I do is very organic and very natural. Me getting on TV is very natural – it’s purely because I love talking, I love being the centre of attention. I love radio because I get to spread information and no one can see me, which is an even better feeling [laughs]. From there on I’ll go to the club, I’ll play

and I’ll make people happy. That’s what I love doing most – I love seeing people happy. I then go home and make some music. Everything is really organic. I always want to do things that are cool and natural and things I’m able to sustain. Are there any misconceptions people have about life as an entertainer? I think as young as I am, I look at a lot of my peers and other DJs and they sometimes send the wrong message. People see everything happening now – VIP this, bottles there, girls here, flashing lights – and a lot of them don’t understand that side of things comes after everything

“You can be ‘the man’ – you can and do things your own way” else, and it hasn’t all been like this. Everyone is so focused on being The Man. Nobody is letting people know that you can be ‘the man’ in your own right. You can do things your own way. This goes as far as small things like respect. Having respect for the next person. You don’t get that a lot these days because there’s so much happening, and there’s all these lights, and there’s too much [distraction] that people forget to be human beings. For me that’s helped make me who I am, and just being a human being and being able to interact [authentically] with the next person. What do you think is unique about the booming SA hip-hop scene?

108 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

It’s the authenticity and the originality. A lot of people get it twisted. The moment you say ‘South African and authentic’, people automatically think kwaito. I feel like that’s very 2001 thinking. There are kids out there who don’t know who Hugh Masekela is – you can’t blame them for that, that’s just how they grew up. They grew up on Drake – that’s what they know. Then, when they make music, they express the music the way they know music to be. I feel like we’re doing some really cool stuff. I feel like we still have a long way to go; we still have to explore different things. The sampling of old songs should go away; we’ve created enough to make new content. We should be less ignorant, especially to music. Open your mind a bit, take it in, appreciate it, love it like it’s your own because it is your own. @djspeedsta

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1. Bottega Veneta at SDM eyewear sunglasses R6 095 2. Scotch & Soda T-Shirt R999 3. Scotch & Soda denim jacket R2 799 4. ToePorn socks R99 per pair 5. Converse All-stars R1 999 6. Police at CJR necklaces from R799 7. Daniel Klein at CJR Giftsales watch R1 595 8. Cutty biker jeans R969 9. G-Star Raw jacket R5 999


GQ PROMOTION

WHISKIES FOR A NEW WORLD

Forget everything you’ve heard about the etiquette of drinking whiskey and the fusty criteria by which you’re supposed to judge a good one. The only rules in the world of American Whiskey are the legal codes by which the makers need abide when creating it.

American Whiskey is generally made using a combination of grains such as corn, malted barley, and rye. Aged in brand-new charred American white oak barrels, they deliver big, bold flavours of vanilla, caramel and oak. American Whiskey typically doesn’t rely on stuffy age statements; because of the vast temperature variances the distilleries experience, each barrel matures according to the season – so it’s ready when it’s ready. Unique methods of maturation and

distillation along with the extreme climates of Kentucky and Tennessee give American Whiskies such as Jack Daniel’s and Woodford Reserve great depth with distinct, complex flavours. It’s this boldness that makes for such flavoursome cocktails in which the star of the show is the spirit. And right now, the global bar scene is all about cocktails – but not the standard varieties of uptight bars with umpteen ingredients. Instead, well-executed classic cocktails are making their comeback with whiskey cocktails such as The Old Fashioned and Whiskey Sour taking centre stage. An Old Fashioned is made by muddling a slither of orange peel with syrup and a few dashes of bitters in a rocks glass, topping with Tennessee whiskey and ice. Jack Daniel’s Master Distiller, Jeff Arnett, calls Gentleman Jack the ‘cocktail whiskey,’ because it’s gone through charcoal mellowing a second time, and it’s that craftsmanship that sets it apart. Classic whiskey cocktails contain some form of bitters, so if a whiskey has a lot of oak, the two flavours will compete since they hit the same tastebuds on your tongue. ‘Gentleman Jack lets you keep the bitters light, but prevalent,’ explains Arnett. Sounds like a winning combination. jackdaniels.com


Breakout with HarleyDavidson’s low and aggressive cruiser Architects and illustrators Max Melvill and Jamil Randera created the +NESS project to explore what defines our built environment

How was +Ness born? What’s the significance of the name? The +NESS project is ultimately a way of us sharing our love for our cities and our interest in the architecture that defi nes them. Our collections aim to address what is unique about the city fabric – what is the Cape Town+NESS of Cape Town? Everyone has an inherent link with their built environment. And it’s these unique connections between people and architecture that +NESS draws on.

Our buildings form a part of who we are and helps to form a collective memory as South Africans. No two cities in the world are the same. Being able to tap into what makes one city different from the next is the subject matter of our artworks, and trying to embody this in a simple, understandable way has been exciting and rewarding. cityness.co.za

What’s special to you about architecture in South Africa? 110 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

arley-Davidson’s Breakout bike is a showcase of blending 112 years of motorcycle prowess with today’s technology. Long, low and lean, it’s a homage to the classic hardtail frame and draws on the custom ‘Gasser’ (customised drag bike) look of the ’50s and ’60s, but a smart rear suspension setup uses coil-over shock absorbers horizontally and out of sight.

You don’t just own a Harley, you experience one, and you can find a club or an organised Harley tour in just about every city in Msanzi. November saw Durban’s first tattoo convention. Cape Town’s dealership even lets you rent

The rigid-mounted, counter-balanced powertrain is designed to create a solid connection between the rider and the power, enhancing the emotional experience of riding. The tech comes in with electronic fuel injection, a 6-speed Cruise Drive gearbox, and an optional smart security system that mimics a luxury car’s comfort access setup with a proximity-based key fob. R268 000

a bike. And almost all rider events support charities. When the rubber hits the road from 17 April 2017, East London will be the starting point for the biggest motorcycle free rally on the African continent. Africa Bike Week (ABW) is the ultimate showcase of freedom and independence, country. Head to GQ.co.za for more info on ABW or events in your hood.

harley-davidson.com


UPGRADE YOUR HOME Saintworld leader in building solutions, Saint-Gobain’s collection of Comfort Packs is designed to improve your Gobain’s home’s thermal, audio, health and economic comfort – meaning you’ll have better air quality, reduced noise, and range of spend a lot less on energy costs. building materials improve your home’s Ceiling Systems and Wall System Flooring thermal, Geyser and Pipe Insulation Pack Comfort Pack Comfort Packs audio, Insulation Pack Isover’s geyser and pipe Gyproc’s ceiling systems Gyproc’s flexible and Weber’s range of tiling health and even insulation products are add visual appeal to any efficient internal walling and screed solutions bring economic designed to keep your room whilst keeping systems manage sound, the beauty of world-class comfort energy costs down your home warmer, heat, moisture and even floors within reach of all – because throughout the year. cooler, quieter and more cleanse the air. You can home owners. Insulating all homes Best of all, they’re comfortable throughout use these systems for new underlays keep your can be cost-effective and simple the year – and can be walls to divide an existing space warmer in winter better to install yourself. installed over your space – or place them and cooler in summer. existing ceilings.

over your existing walls.

See it in action: Get a firsthand look into a Comfort Pack installation at UpgradeMyHome.co.za, and visit your nearest Buco store to find out which Saint-Gobain products will best suit you.


t le Look sharp

Live smart

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Sizzle & Pop

Looks for business and leisure travel

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Your high impact guide to swimsuits and playful prints Creative direction by Jason Alexander Basson

The one-minute suitcase

Photographs by Neil Roberts

Eugon wears Versace polo shirt R2 295. Gant hat R590. Dolce & Gabbana at Luxottica sunglasses R2 690

DECEMBER 2016 / JANUARY 2017 GQ.CO.ZA 113


Babe watch On guard at the pool? Keep it classy by playing with nautical colours like blue and white, and reserving the louder yellows and reds for a pop of colour in a detail or accessory. Remember, you can pair your swimming trunks or speedo with a shirt or polo tee to give it class and sex appeal. Print is your friend here; otherwise you might look too plain.

From left: Seth wears Brave Soul at Spree shirt R299. Ruald Rheeder Nautical briefs R599 Roche wears Zara golf shirt R499. Ruald Rheeder Nautical boy shorts R599 Eugon wears Soviet at Spree shirt R449. Vilebrequin shorts R3 450. Brave Soul at Spree shoes R279 Janke wears H&M dress R799. Ruald Rheeder bikini top R699. Prada at Luxottica sunglasses R3 390. Guess bag R2 399. H&M shoes R499

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DECEMBER 2016 / JANUARY 2017 GQ.CO.ZA 115


Funk in the sun Has the heat wave left your wardrobe in a wobble? But who needs clothing anyway, right? With the perfect accessories you’ll be the best-dressed person at the water’s edge. Stick to a single or double colour palette and go for fun, playful watches and geometric eyewear in sherberty metallic tints. And wear a hat, for sliced cake.

Clockwise from left: Seth wears Ben Sherman shirt R1 699. Vilebrequin hat R1 200. Ray-Ban at Sunglass Hut sunglasses 1 990. Tomato at S Bacher & Co watch R549 Roche wears Gant sweater R1 690. Pringle of Scotland newsboy hat R399. Ray-Ban at Sunglasses Hut sunglasses R2 290. Tomato at S Bacher & Co watch R649 Janke wears Topshop top R749, sunglasses R429. Jewellery stylist’s own. Mango cellphone cover R199

116 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016 / JANUARY 2017


tyle

Gotta get gelato For the ballsy fashionista, make a bold statement by colour blocking sorbet, fruit and gelato tones. Play around to create colour combinations but keep things preppy; it’s a good way to ground the colours in a way that makes them look a little more serious.

From left: Roche wears Gant golf shirt R1 790, sweater R1 690. H&M shorts R399. Lundun sunglasses R250. Call It Spring at Zando flip flops R399. H&M towel R399 Janke wears Mango blazer R1 199, pants R999. Dolce & Gabbana at Luxottica sunglasses R3 090. Call It Spring at Zando sandals R499. Cotton On towel R399 Eugon wears Gant sweater R1 690, golf shirt R1 390. Topman shorts R259. Lundun sunglasses R250. Adidas at Zando Adilette flip flops R449

DECEMBER 2016 / JANUARY 2017 GQ.CO.ZA 117


Acid blues Water prints are a fun way to make a splash, but failing that we also love to interpret this most essential of chemical substances in other ways. Try a colour gradient or a ďŹ ne check print that mimics the dance of light refracted at the bottom of the pool. Either way, blue is great for cooling off.

From left: Eugon wears Burberry shirt R6 290. Ruald Rheeder Nautical cobalt trunks R499 Janke wears Billabong bikini top R899, bikini bottoms R749 Seth wears Topman blazer R1 499. Fighetti at Label Orange swim shorts R1 200

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Make it brief We need to talk about speedos and briefs for a second. Most men are too shy to wear them, while others are concerned about other peoples’ perceptions. Are you a grown-ass man or playground toddler? Come on, get a grip, man! Besides, there are no shapes more complimentary to your physique than these, and if you have the assets why not flaunt them? Here’s a tip: a print like this Versace-inspired one is great for enhancing what you’re working with. Also, they’re a surefire way to avoid a shorts tan.

From left: Seth wears Ruald Rheeder Versus briefs R799 Roche wears Ruald Rheeder Versus boy shorts R899 Eugon wears Ruald Rheeder Versus trunks R899

DECEMBER 2016 / JANUARY 2017GQ.CO.ZA 119


tyle

Look the part with our style tips. Find them at GQ.co.za

Print explosion Getting loose in preparation for 2017? Nothing says #IJDGAF like psychedelic swimwear. You can either opt for a full neon print explosion or mellow out with a subtler ombre or tie-dye option. Either way, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re perfect for keeping yourself and your friends entertained well after pumpkin hour is over.

From left: Seth wears Billabong shorts R899

Creative Direction and Styling Jason Alexander Basson Groomer Inga Hewett at Hero Talent Management Photographerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Assistant Paula Toureiro Fashion Assistants Boipelo Chababa and Sasha Mahlalela Models Eugon at Base Models, Janke and Roche at Boss Models, Seth at Fusion Models

Janke wears London Hub at Spree bikini R699. Swarovski at SDM Eyewear sunglasses R3 657. Guess heels R1 799 Eugon wears Sth Shore at Spree shorts R349

120 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016 / JANUARY 2017


Fideli suit. Gucci shirt, scarf. Ray-Ban sunglasses. Omega Seamaster Aqua Terra watch. Louis Vuitton suitcase

GQ selects

TRAVEL IN STYLE Whether travelling for business or leisure, always be prepared

Words by Jason Alexander Basson Photographs by Greg Swales Styling by Thiago Ferraz

Travel light Be sensible about your wardrobe choices. Anything too thick or synthetic will be a nightmare in transit. Opt for breathable fabrics that have natural anti-microbial properties to eliminate smells and repel dust. We highly recommend linen, bamboo or hemp, as well as lightweight cotton/wool blends.

122 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016 / JANUARY 2017

Kurt Geiger blazer R3 995. Ben Sherman shirt R1 799. Tissot at Swatch Group PRC 200 Automatic watch R13 700. Tumi Harrison Seneca Slim briefcase R11 499. Balenciaga at SDM Eyewear sunglasses R5 727


ADVICE

tyle

Keep it simple The less fuss the better, which means packing sensibly so that you can easily switch an item or two for a new look. Tailored chinos make a smart casual option â&#x20AC;&#x201C; swop them out for the suit pants and presto, a new look. In lieu of a tie, pack a lightweight scarf. Layered under the lapel of your suit jacket, it gives your look ďŹ&#x201A;air and elegance.

Prada blazer, shirt, pants. Omega De Ville Prestige watch. Dolce & Gabbana shoes Prada bag. Louis Vuitton suitcase

GQ selects

Kurt Geiger blazer R3 995. Ben Sherman shirt R2 249. MrP pants R189. Arthur Jack Madrid Roller Bag R4 999. Ben Sherman shoes R2 699

DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017 GQ.CO.ZA 123


tyle ADVICE Louis Vuitton suit. Burberry shirt. Prada headphones. Acervo pocket square. Omega De Ville Prestige watch. Salvatore Ferragamo iPad cover

GQ selects

Stay classy Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s easier and far more comfortable to travel in a single-breasted suit that allows movement and comfort. Loose the tie; your suit and shirt combo will still look elegant without being too constricted. Darker colours, like navy and grey, create a formal tone without you having to worry about full formal decorum.

124 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/JANAURY 2017

Kurt Geiger blazer R3 995. Tissot at Swatch Group PRS 516 Quartz watch R9 750. Ben Sherman shirt R1 599. Skullcandy UpRoar headphones R549


CE L E BR AT E .

SHOP THE COLLECTIONS ONLINE AT: www.khaliques.co.za Sandton +27 (0)11 783 2468 The Oriental Plaza +27 (0)11 836 4418 Cedar Square +27 (0)11 465 1613 Mall Of Africa +27 (0)10 007 3506


tyle WARDROBE

THE ONE-MINUTE SUITCASE Are you one of those guys who starts packing two nights before a trip? Rebuke thyself! The key is to have a capsule wardrobe from which you combine different elements depending on the destination. Here’s how to get travel-ready in a flash... WHAT TYPE OF TRIP ARE YOU TAKING? BEACH

CITY

BUSINESS

Burberry sunglasses R2 890

Markham bag R399

Markham cap R180

Kurt Geiger blazer R3 995

MrP shirt R169 Gant scarf R1 190

Relay Jeans at Markham shirt R399

Ben Sherman shirt R1 399

Polo shirt R899 MrP cap R79

Havaianas flip flops R399

Gant sweater R1 690 Mr P pants R179

Ben Sherman shirt R1 849

Gant shorts R1 290

Markham scarf R120 Gucci slip ons R13 600

Vichy sunscre R399

Arthur Jack at Tread+Miller Paris Satchel bag R1 799

MrP sor cap R69

126 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

Gant beach bag R1 990

Markham pants R399

Ben Sherman wallet R1 149

Pringle of Scotland boxers R249 each

Tissot at watch Group Quickster R5 800


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t’s summer and you’re no doubt going to be shirtless for some of that time. These days looking good means feeling good, too, and there are a whole lotta options to get you there. So, our roundup of all things active to get you in shape this season

Ab workout /// Siv’s core secrets /// Recovery foods /// Gear

DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017 GQ.CO.ZA 129


1

Rock hard abs

Toes to bar (40 reps)

Hang from a pull-up bar with your arms at shoulder width, as if you were doing a standard pull-up. Engage your lats, fire your core, and lift your legs straight up to touch the bar above your head with your toes. If you can’t raise your legs above your head, try this progression over a few weeks: bent knee raise to a 90 degree angle, straight leg raise to 90 degrees, straight leg raise to bar.

Weighted plank (3x30s reps)

2

If you don’t have anyone around to help you, position the plate while flat on the floor, then push up into plank position.

Straight arm plate sit-up (30 reps)

3 G Q - A P P R OV E D

Your ab workout for beach season Words by John Jannuzzi Photographs by Ben Watts

130 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

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each trips, swimming pools and dam dives are coming up, gentlemen. You’ll be reaching for your swim trunks before you know it, and baring your stomach for all to see immediately after. Now’s the time to work on your core, since you’ve already perfected those tank top worthy arms. To help you (and ourselves) get in check, we spoke to Albert Matheny, co-owner of SoHo Strength Lab in New York, to see what’s what. He gave us three simple ab exercises to get your core in check. Your core’s main job is to stabilise, and keep you steady during squats, carries or other unilaterally loaded exercises. That said, Matheny doesn’t recommend doing all of these at the same time. He suggests choosing one to add in at the end of your routine. Consider these the final touches. Mix these exercises in with some healthy eating, and those washboard abs will be within reach. When it comes to diet, Matheny says to ‘reduce your calories from carbs on non-workout days, and refuel with high-quality protein, like whey’.

Lie flat on your back, with your legs extended. Hold a 10kg or 20kg plate with your arms straight up in the air. Sit up as you push the plate towards the ceiling. As you come to a full sit, extend the plate directly above your head to finish the rep. Control your descent and repeat. Keep the weight as vertical as possible throughout the exercise. Be careful not to use the weight as momentum when sitting up. And remember, nobody will see that hard work behind a belly full of cookies and cake, so stick to the leafy greens.


Core workout

GQ: What exercise routine or training programme have you been following to get into shape? Siv Ngesi: Well, my secret weapon when it comes to working out is boxing; it keeps me in the best shape of my life and it’s fun, educational and pushes your body to the next level. But when I need to put on muscle, I hit the weights. I make love to the weights and push hard. But always with my personal trainer Bruce Benjamin.

GQ: What does your eating plan look like? SN: It all depends on what I am trying to do: if I am building muscle or trying to get lean. Everything must be steamed or grilled and between meals I have some dried fruit, biltong or nuts and fruit, but that contains sugar so not too much. Usually it goes likes this (it’s about as boring as watching paint dry or listening to my president read a speech until he messes up a number). Meal 1 Oats with honey Meal 2 Broccoli with a chicken breast

CUT TO THE CORE

Siv Ngesi is the fittest in the business, so we found out how he got his body into the shape of its life

Meal 3 Sweet potato with canned tuna Meal 4 Lean steak with green beans Meal 5 A portion of hake with broccoli >>

Photographs by Byron L Keulemans

DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017 GQ.CO.ZA 131


GQ: What have you sworn off in your diet? SN: I have never touched alcohol in my life and when I have body goals I cut out sweets and eat a high protein/low carb diet. GQ: What have you learnt about getting the body you want? SN: Get help from the experts – my trainer Bruce Benjamin is the best in the business.

GQ: What’s your post workout fuel or food of choice? SN: GNC Mass Gainer is magic and a green apple always hits the spot. GQ: If you could only do three types of exercises, what would they be? SN: Boxing, deadlifts and clean and press, but the most important exercises is dieting. Great bodies are built in the kitchen. GQ: You’ve got the core strength that everybody wants – how did you get that eight pack? SN: Glad you got it right – people love calling it a six pack, but I worked too hard for these extra two packs. I know I keep saying this, but my abs are made from boxing and in the kitchen. When I need to shoot something topless, I eat only egg whites for three days straight and that pushes out the abs hard – around 15 egg whites a day and nothing else. But I always try to do ab workouts with weights; this makes them thicker and jump out. My best ab workout is the rolling wheel workout. Always try to add abs between your other workouts. GQ: What’s the biggest misconception about getting in shape? SN: The biggest fail is people doing the same thing over and over without changing it up, and working out and not watching what you eat. If you’re doing the wrong thing, you may as well not be doing anything. Get a trainer to show you what to do right.

132 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

GQ: Biggest locker room faux pas in a gym? SN: Don’t stare at my penis when I am changing; take a look if you want, but don’t study my machine gun. Also, don’t pee in the shower (note to self, ’cause I do it all the time). GQ: Most annoying thing you find in a gym? SN: Why the hell do women wear makeup at the gym? Put your bloody weights away loser! If you want to chat, chat but don’t have a monologue; gym is work not play.


FIND THE RIGHT FIT

Select a gym

We know you say you’re not the type of person who makes New Year’s resolutions. But with every new year comes a time when you think about the F-word. But how and where? Here’s where... Cape CrossFit capecrossfit.com

What we say Huh? CrossFit? Is that a new thing?

What they say Combining gymnastics (pull ups, push ups, rope climbs, ring gymnastics, hand stands), weightlifting and metabolic conditioning such as rowing, air bikes, skipping and running, workouts are constantly varied and performed at high intensity, and are challenging yet adaptable to your current fitness level.

Switch switchplayground.com

What we say Virgin Active – The Grid

Roark Gym

virginactive.co.za

roarkgyms.com

What we say

What we say

What they say

The love child of Richard Branson and Jane Fonda in athleisurewear.

A manly man’s macho gym. For men.

Entertainment and fun are key, with each class consisting of a flow yoga warm up and multi-station, circuit-style workout led by a master facilitator with instructors and a live DJ. It’s a total body workout.

What they say What they say The Grid is a platform to get people to move better, faster and more effectively using natural movements: push, twist, bend, lunge, pull, squat. Completed in a maximum of 30 minutes (or 12 if you’re strapped for time), you can work at your own pace and level. The studio floor is marked out in a grid of squares. You begin in one grid and move on as the series of exercises unfolds. The exercises focus on movement, weight, fitness and strength.

Designed exclusively for men, their philosophy is based on the fact that if you’re able to increase you work capacity in the gym while maintaining form and intensity, then all the aesthetic and athletic results will follow. The sessions – split into beginner, intermediate and advanced levels and facilitated by coaches who ensure that members maintain proper form and the desired intensity – are an hour long, with each one divided into three segments consisting of warm up and mobility work, strength work, and finishing with ‘The Daily’, which typically involves a combination of weights and cardiovascular work.

We’re not sure if we’ve arrived at gym, or just left the club.

Armoury Boxing Club armouryboxing.com

What we say SWEAT 1 000

Put your dukes up!

WORDS BY CHRIS MC ARTHUR

sweat1000.com

What we say

What they say

A sweaty disco inferno. With extra disco.

Boxing fitness training is serious, demands dedication and grit, with the flight making you stronger. The Armoury makes modern day warriors of the old-style gentlemen boxer tradition: respect, hard-earned and for life.

What they say SWEAT stands for Specialised Weight Endurance and Athletic Training with the ‘1 000’ representing the number of calories that can be burnt. It’s a fun workout that blends interval-styled training with floor work. Classes includes DJs, laser and disco lighting.

DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017 GQ.CO.ZA 133


recovery foods to eat after a gym session

Post-gym nutrition

You can do better than a Snickers bar Words by The Editors of Details

H

itting the gym is just half the battle. But can’t seem to put on more muscle? Too exhausted to come back the next day? Chances are, the problem isn’t your fitness routine – it’s what’s on your plate. Below, six powerhouse foods to make your workout count.

3. EGGS 1. WHEY WHY? It’s a fat-torching, energy-restoring protein, that adds lactoferrin for overall immune support. THE LOWDOWN: Those muscles aren’t going to build themselves – especially not after a hard gym session, when proteins degrade faster than ever. That’s where whey comes in. Powdered, one scoop contains almost as much protein as a whole chicken breast – but it does more than pump your pecs. Ingested after exercise, whey produces an insulin spike, encouraging muscles to absorb glucose and replenish energy stores, all while naturally occurring lactoferrin gives your immune system a boost. The best part? Research shows that people who supplement with whey burn nearly twice as much body fat as those who don’t. HOW TO EAT IT: Make the most of your protein powder by pairing it with carbohydrate-rich foods like juices, shakes, or even a bowl of polenta.

2. GREEN TEA WHY? It’s an energy boost when you need it most, with fat-burning, free-radical-fighting compounds. THE LOWDOWN: Green tea is the new green juice. More than just a caffeinated pick-meup, green tea contains powerful antioxidants that help to metabolise fat and fight exerciseinduced free radicals that would otherwise cause inflammation and muscle soreness. The real kicker? Green tea is good for you well beyond the gym: epigallocatechin gallate (EGCG), one of its key compounds, has been shown to help treat a number of chronic inflammatory conditions, from cancer to Alzheimer’s and heart disease. HOW TO DRINK IT: Go old-school and master the art of matcha – or plan ahead and brew a batch of ginger-infused tea before you leave for the gym.

134 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

WHY? A complete protein source, including branched-chain amino acids for faster recovery. THE LOWDOWN: Though they weigh just 70 calories apiece, eggs contain all nine essential amino acids (the building blocks of protein), plus branchedchain amino acids, which help to reduce muscle damage. And if you’re after a nutritional bang for your buck, don’t even think about throwing away the yolk: it is home to half the protein, not to mention vitamin D and omega-3 fatty acids. HOW TO EAT IT: Eggs. Toast. You know the drill. As for Rocky’s infamous sports drink, ‘there’s no evidence that raw eggs beat cooked’, says fitness author Michael Matthews. ‘If it makes you feel like more of a badass, that’s reason enough to do it.’

4. SWEET POTATOES WHY? These veggies are a good nutrient-rich source of carbohydrates. THE LOWDOWN: Protein alone doesn’t cut it, says nutritionist Dallas Hartwig. To power intense workouts, the body breaks down muscle glycogen – your energy reserves – so you’ll need wholesome, plant-based carbohydrates afterwards if you’re going to be in shape for the next session. Turns out, these humble roots are actually a bona fide superfood, complete with three days’ worth of vitamin A and 26 grams of carbohydrates to restore your glycogen supply. Plus, a healthy dose of fibre, keeping you full – and far away from the gym vending machine. HOW TO EAT IT: Sports dietitian Lauren Antonucci recommends consuming half your metric body weight in grams of carbohydrates after exercise – which means a single sweet potato will put you well on your way to recovery. Use one (or another beta-carotene-rich food like pumpkin) to bulk up your post-workout smoothie or oatmeal.

4. AVOCADO WHY? Monounsaturated fat for muscle repair and B vitamins to jump-start your metabolism. THE LOWDOWN: Don’t be afraid of the f-word. ‘An ideal recovery meal should also include good fat, which is needed for healing muscles and joints,’ says sports nutritionist Cynthia Sass. In addition to healthy fats, which are crucial for absorbing vitamins A and E, avocados contain a suite of B vitamins that help your body metabolise healthy carbohydrates and proteins. HOW TO EAT IT: Tuck a few slices into an omelette, or turn the whole fruit into a superfood smoothie.

6. CHERRY JUICE WHY? A host of antioxidants to fight off muscle damage. THE LOWDOWN: You already know that cherries are good for your sex life, right? Luckily, the same antioxidants that get things going in the bedroom will help you out at the gym, too. A study in the British Journal of Sports Medicine found that subjects who drank 700ml of tart cherry juice every day (the equivalent of about 120 whole cherries) experienced less muscle soreness and just a fraction of the usual strength loss after exercise. HOW TO DRINK IT: Fresh juices are likely to preserve the beneficial anthocyanins and flavonoids naturally found in cherries.


Protein shakes

PHOTOGRAPH BY GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/JONATHAN KITCHEN

GQ: What should I eat before and after training, and what kind of carb to protein ratio should I aim at? You should have a well balanced portion of protein and carb. The carb provides the energy to allow for effective and efficient exercise and the protein provides the building blocks for muscle development.

GQ: How much protein should I take in daily and in what portions? Muscle development is most effective above 1.5g/kg of protein. We see positive results

GO YOUR OWN WHEY up until 2g/kg, after which your kidneys need to work hard at excreting it.

GQ: What diet should I follow to build lean muscle and lose fat at the same time? This is completely dependent on the individual. Some people do well on low carb while others do well on low fat. At the end of the day it depends on genetics, which we are able to test

these days and guide the diet plan in this way. It is also extremely important to balance energy intake with energy expenditure. If you overdo the calories you are bound to gain fat, but if you don’t eat enough the body eats away at the muscle. Balance is key.

GQ: Should I be using a whey protein?

Every question you ever had about protein

A pure whey isolate is a fantastic option; it’s one of the most effective ways to have a quick protein snack, especially after exercise. You would need about 15g straight after exercise to help your body replenish the amino acid store to rebuild muscle. Just be careful when you shop around for products. The purer the better.

GQ: Protein shakes mainly advertise the gram amount of protein per serving. What else should I look for, though?

Look for low sugar options and one that doesn’t contain flavourants and colourants.

GQ: Are other plant-based proteins any good, like soy or pea proteins? Yes, plantbased protein is good. There is controversy as to it’s bioavailability but what we find is that these products are often pure and contain other superfoods such as chia and gojis which are very healthy and beneficial to immunity and wellbeing. Alex Royal is a dietitian who runs weight loss and health programmes that promote health through nutrition. alexroyaldiet. co.za

DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017 GQ.CO.ZA 135


Body parts

BRING YOUR

A

The part of your body women ü*  sexiest

GAME RUN LIKE A PRO The right posture will help you keep back and knee injuries at bay (and save face on the track)…

1. Avoid shuffling – not lifting your heels may damage your Achilles tendon. Instead, kick your heels back 90 degrees to engage the glutes and hamstrings.

We asked 108 real, live women what male body part they find sexiest, then transposed their surprising responses to this image of Cristiano Ronaldo

Running With a wider base for stability and responsive cushioning, the Flymesh provides breathability while the Dynamic Fit technology locks you in comfortably to this reinvented runner from the kings of the Swoosh.

Puma Ignite evoKNIT R2 600

Nike Air Zoom Structure 20 R2 000

2. Bend your elbows at 90 degrees so that they come out behind you. This propels your body forward and allows you to attain optimum rhythm.

Streetwear While most who cop a pair of these evoKNITs will be using them in the streets, they are loaded with Puma innovation. For the serious athlete who is an aesthete, too, the sock and ankle support are equally functional and pretty.

Training Stabilisers in the midfoot and heel help to support fast-paced lateral movements, as well as lifts, squats and functional training exercises. The Bounce insole also offers energy feedback to help you be at your best for training.

136 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

Under Armour Charged Bandit 2 R2 000

Adidas Crazymove Bounce M R1 400

THE PERFECT SHOE FOR ANY WORKOUT Running The ultrasonic welded seaming and Bemis tape in these offer skin-contact comfort for minimal irritation, while the external heel counter and tongue construction lock in your foot for every run stride.

3. Hands: imagine you’re holding a butterfly between your thumbs and forefingers. This will help you relax your arms – and the faster you will run.

4. Make sure you aren’t leaning forwards, as it uses your quads and hip flexors incorrectly. It’s crucial to keep your posture upright and your gaze straight.

5. Holding an phone while you run will interrupt cross lateral body movement. But do keep one on your belt: music can boost performance by 20 per cent.


THE SURFER’S LIFE Photographs by Toby Goodyear

Peter Hamblin’s Let’s Be Frank is a retro, avant-garde surf comedy film based on big wave surfer Frank Solomon’s rather unusual life

GQ: Did you always know you would live this life?

If I had told someone [in the early days] that I wanted to be a pro surfer, they would have laughed at me. But here I am. It’s taken me 10 years of complete dedication and commitment to get on this path. I was already telling people that I was a pro surfer, even when I wasn’t.

FS:

GQ: What advice would you give to

others planning to set off on their own mission of fulfilling their dream? FS: You’ve got to want it more than

WORDS BY THE RED BULLETIN

I

n person, Frank J Solomon appears as laid-back as they come, but behind the relaxed demeanour lies a steely resolve – illustrated by his decision, less than a decade ago, to throw his belongings into a bag, pick up his surfboard and set off to conquer the biggest waves he could find. He ended up on the international movie premiere circuit, visiting Los Angeles, London and San Sebastián in Spain. GQ: How seriously do you take your surfing?

Frank Solomon: I take it unbelievably

seriously. I train every day – I’m up before the sun rises – and if I’m not in the water I’m training with weights or doing yoga.

anything else. I’m very competitive, so when people told me it couldn’t be done, or that it was going to be difficult for a South African, it pissed me off and I said, ‘Well, now I’m definitely going to do it.’ GQ: How did the idea for Let’s Be Frank come about? FS: The whole thing was pretty strange.

I went to a premiere that [surf filmmaker] Peter Hamblin had put on for his film The Wright Side of Wrong, and afterwards we started chatting and I told him my story. He said we should make a movie and call it Let’s Be Frank. A couple of days later he called me, saying, ‘Remember me? I really want to do this. I think that it’ll be pretty cool.’ That’s how it all started. GQ: What did you tell him when he asked you for your story?

Water sports

‘I’m a really good surfer. I’m not a great, but I’m a good surfer. It’s a lifetime of learning, this sport’ Well, I would post photos of my travels and stuff, so I guess that from the outside it looked like I was always travelling to these super-exotic locations. It’s true that I was travelling – I was going to California and surfing Mavericks – but in between I was working four or five jobs and sleeping on people’s floors. From Peter’s perspective I was this guy living the dream, travelling the world and surfing these amazing spots. I think for him, as a filmmaker, the contrast between his perception and the truth was appealing. GQ: So he made a fictional movie based on that contrast? FS: I’ve had an interesting life, and there’s

been a lot of stories – many of them true. Peter managed to take real stories and produce a wild, creative vision still rooted in the truth. GQ: Like the bare-knuckle fight scene in Ireland? FS: In the movie, I run out of money,

which is definitely based on truth. I’ve often run out of money and had to do what I had to do to earn some cash – but I’ve never taken part in an underground bare-knuckle fight. We shot in Ireland, the UK, South Africa, Mexico, Hawaii, California – all places where I’ve travelled and surfed. GQ: Where does your journey go from here? FS: I try not to think about it – who knows

what’s going to happen? Even if nothing does, this journey has been amazing. There’s a movie about me – that’s insane! DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017 GQ.CO.ZA 137


igh Intensity Interval Training, or HIIT, is the latest fad. But from the looks of it, it isn’t going anywhere. With trainers and gym chains incorporating the principles, we spoke to Angie Lander and Avinesh Pursad of Lander & Pursad Biokineticists at the South African Sports Science Institute to get a better idea of what HIIT actually is.

HIIT IT, DON’T QUIT IT Fitness fads come and go – usually really quickly and with a lot of huffing and puffing. Most of these promise beach bodies in a week, and an eight pack in exchange for your soul. But the thing many workout fads miss is the health aspect; getting fit to live a better life, and not just to litter your Instagram with shirtless selfies ‘just out on a quick 10k run’ Words by Chris Mc Arthur

GQ: What is HIIT? Lander & Pursad: Interval training involves alternating periods of relatively intense work and recovery. HIIT workouts are effective in aiding weight loss and improving cardiovascular conditioning with short workouts. If you add strength training to interval training you get the best of both worlds with regards to cardiovascular fitness, weight loss, increased muscle mass and improved sports performance. GQ: How is this different to longer endurance workouts? L&P: Because of the well-known benefits of vigorous exercise for improving cardiorespiratory fitness, it is not surprising that aerobic HIIT leads to improvements in VO2 Max [a measure of the maximum volume of oxygen] and various indicators of the oxidative capacity of skeletal muscle. However, studies have shown that highervolume HIIT programmes using longer intervals lead to greater improvements in VO2 Max when compared with continuous moderate-intensity training of equal volume and time. GQ: How important is a coach for HIIT?

138 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

L&P: The importance of having a well qualified coach/ biokineticist/trainer cannot be overstated, especially when you are new to HIIT. A combination of strength and high intensity interval training can be high risk, in that you might be using weights whilst also pushing yourself to fatigue. This risk can be decreased by correctly structuring sessions and progressions based on your abilities and fitness levels. GQ: Can HIIT help to build muscle mass? L&P: Yes, if your programme consists of body weight HIIT or resistance HIIT. GQ: Which movements does HIIT focus on? L&P: Generally it consists of powerful/ explosive multi-joint, compound exercises with the emphasis on correct technique. GQ: What are the most common HIIT-related injuries? L&P: Usually we see clients that have injured their neck, shoulders, lower back and/or knees. GQ: Is it a feasible long-term exercise plan? L&P: Guidelines recommend the accumulation of 150 minutes of moderate or 75 minutes of vigorous activity per week. Unfortunately these guidelines aren’t being met by the majority of South Africans.

Therefore, researchers and practitioners must search for physical activity options that provide health benefits while possessing characteristics that lead to sustained behaviour. High interval training is an emerging trend that may have merits in this regard. One 12-week training study indicated that high-volume interval walking was more beneficial for glucose control than continuous moderate exercise despite no differences in total energy expenditure. GQ: Are all HIIT gyms equal? L&P: No, unfortunately not. Many gyms have a mentality of doing ‘too much, too soon’ without incorporating the appropriate technique or correctly structuring sessions and progressions based on clients’ fitness levels. Furthermore many gyms don’t necessarily have qualified staff like biokineticists that supervise or guide these HIIT sessions. GQ: Last word for readers about to sign up to a gym. L&P: Joining a gym that has the client’s safety in mind is important. Gyms whose classes provide scientifically designed high intensity interval type strength training in a safe environment, allowing you to get all the benefits without undue risk of injury, should be on top of your list. biokineticssportscience.co.za

ILLUSTRATION BY GARETH GREY

Specialised training


Under Armour Coolswitch Compression R850

Technical gear

Dress to press

EVERY MOVE YOU MAKE

FITBIT

Puma R600

Charge 2 R3 000 Touchscreen, built-in HR and auto sleep tracking.

Just because you’re sweating doesn’t mean you can’t look your best

FITBIT

Puma Vent Thermo R2 700

Adidas Q4 Cool 365 R550

Flex 2 TBC Slim, swimproof and pendant compatible.

TOMTOM Touch R2 500 Measures your body fat and muscle mass.

Bose SoundSport Wireless R3 300

Adidas A2G R1 000

Puma NightCat R900

Under Armour Raid R750

BOSE WORDS BY ANDREW GOBLE

BOSE The all-round pick: Bose SoundSport These aren’t just sweet-sounding wireless workout headphones: they’re sweet-sounding wireless headphones, full stop. They offer great clarity, with little distortion even when it’s your last set and you blast ‘Till I Collapse’ way louder than you should. Out only complaints: they jut out of your ears, and that extra hanging weight made the fit feel less secure.

DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017 GQ.CO.ZA 139


Do your laundry more often

Grooming & skincare

H OW

T O

G E T

RID OF BACK ACNE Once and for all Words by Liza Corsillo

Y

ou may not know you have it, or you might be painfully, embarrassingly aware. But the fact of the matter is that back acne (aka bacne) is extremely common, especially in the summertime. Think about it, you sweat more while working out, during the day, and while you sleep at night. Exposure to the sun dries out your skin, creating clogged pores. Worst of all, in the summertime you are more likely to be dehydrated. It’s basically a perfect recipe for breakouts. And this is the time of year when you want to show off your body, not hide it under a shirt at the beach. Luckily, there’s a lot you can do to prevent and treat the scourge of pimples setting up camp between your shoulder blades. So before you give up hope or rush to a dermatologist, here is your anti-bacne summer checklist.

Because you sweat more, you also need to clean your clothes and your linens more often. So while your sheets may not feel dirty after a week or two, trust us they are. And in the summer you are more likely to sleep in the nude, therefore just rubbing week old sweat and dead skin back into your pores. Get it? Wash your sheets at least once a week with fragrance-free washing powder. Fragrance and other additives can irritate sensitive skin. If you can’t wash your gym clothes after each use, you can clean them in the shower post workout and hang them up to dry. Make it your mission this summer to treat your skin to clean fabric.

Clarins UVA/ UVB SPF 50+ 150ml R395

THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT

Malin+Goetz SPF30 Face Moisturiser 48ml R465

THE CITY TRIP

Cartier L’Envol de Cartier 100ml R1490

Beware of too much sun Overexposure to the sun’s rays creates dead, flakey skin. That dead skin clogs the pores on your back, causing pimples. So you should be careful to always use sunscreen and refrain from lying in the sun too much.

Speaking of sunscreen, if you are prone to bacne you’ll want to use one that is lightweight, water-proof and oil-free. That way your skin can breathe.

Kiehl’s Age Defender Moisturiser 50ml R690

Shield Germ Defence R29

Choose your grooming products wisely

La RochePosay Ultra light SF50+ 50ml R230 Tom Ford lip balm 10ml R420

Dermalogica After Sun Repair 100ml R595

Exfoliate Probably the most important thing you can do is exfoliate. Whether you use a body scrub, a loofa or a back brush, it’s an important step in removing the dead skin and bacteria that clogs your pores and creates acne. Do it once a day for a few minutes at moderate intensity.

Change your body wash Medicated body washes with salicylic acid and anti-bacterial soaps can do wonders in the fight against bacne. Find one that won’t suck all the moisture out of your skin.

Obagi Sun Shield Matte Broad Spectrum SPF 50 R700

THE BEACH BREAK

Bvlgari Aqva Marine 100ml R1 480

Garnier Pure Active Purifying Wipes R40

Clarins AntiPollution SPF 50 30ml R415

DOPP IT TO THEM No matter where you’re going, make sure you pack the right toiletry bag

Inside out

Cetaphil Men’s 3-in-1 anti-bacterial bar R100

Body Shop Loofah Mitt R105 140 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016/ JANUARY 2017

Stress and a diet full of garbage can take their toll on your skin. So can excess drinking, you know. It stands to reason that you should therefore drink lots of water, get enough sleep, don’t eat pizza three times a day, and get moderate exercise.

Country Road toiletry bag R499


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36 NEW GIGS FOR THE EX-PRESIDENT Come January, after eight years in the Oval Office, Barack Obama will step aside. First plans? A Hawaiian vacay for some windsurfing. But what then? Here, our suggestions for some suitable jobs for a former leader of the free world

Barack Obama, NFL commissioner? Ten times the power and 100 times the salary

1. Commissioner, NFL Probably the only job in the US that will feel like a step up power-wise.

2. Head of the SABC/SARS/SAA/ Eskom All in desperate need of a proper leader. It won’t be easy, but his experience of the Trumplicans may just prove helpful in the Zuma-Hlaudi shitshow.

3. Host, The Late Late Late Show It’s either him or John Boehner. 4. Celebrity DJ Are you even entitled to security detail until you’ve opened for Skrillex? 5. Host, The Celebrity Apprentice They call this a one-for-one trade. ‘Y’uh fired...’ 6. Author, series of best-selling crime thrillers JK Rowling called herself Robert

144 GQ.CO.ZA DECEMBER 2016 / JANUARY 2017

Galbraith. Obama’s nom de plume? Bo Punahou. (Also his porn name.) 7. Gag writer, Trevor Noah’s The Daily Show For some less reverential expresidential interviews. 8. Director, Star Trek Beyond The Next Level 9. Diversity counsellor, Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences ‘Ladies and

gentlemen, the Oscar goes to Creed director Ryan Coogler.’ 10. Golf buddy, The Real Housewives of Potomac ‘Kyle always shows up to the fundraisers drunk and broke – and I swear, it’s all Barack’s fault!’ 11. Host, The Big O Sign a Stern-esque Sirius deal or join Bill Simmons’s podcast network for cred? Decision: 2017.

(Actually: Please do this.) 12. President, the South African Rugby Union Rudderless, clueless sports body split by politicking, seeks new leader urgently. 13. Roastmaster, Comedy Central ‘LeBron, they said I aged a lot during my eight years as president, but your hairline ran away faster than the liberal media did after I passed Obamacare. Suck it, Chris Matthews.’ 14. Normcore style blogger How to get the look and where to shop. 15. Narrator, the Planet Earth sequel ‘Behold the big-belly seahorse!’ 16. Vice Chancellor, University of Cape Town Or any other university he wants. Though he probably doesn’t, especially not Zululand. 17. Professor, Harvard University ‘Oh, hey, Malia, what are you doing here?’ 18. Couples therapist Jay and Bey, Bibi and Abu Mazen – already asking what insurance he takes. 19. Owneroperator, Uber Should score big on knowledge ratings. 20. Pants model For every occasion. 21. Head taster, SAB Museum of Beer ‘All beers have three ingredients. Water, hops, and... anybody?’ 22. Customer-

service czar, Telkom People exhibit PTSD in strange ways. 23. Khaki suit model Also involves pants. 24. Third lead, The Expendables In the fourth instalment. 25. Professional vape tester Barry’s back, baby. 26. Mayor, Chicago Chance the Rapper’s into it. 27. Host, Family Feud and Miss Universe pageant And every other job Steve Harvey has biffed in the past 12 months. 28. Old guy, YMCA Who plays pickup ball every damn day. 29. COO, Tidal Music for all. 30. Head coach, Bafana Bafana Winless side in need of inspiration. 31. High school teacher Chilled but stern. US history guru, golf coach, debate adviser. You rock, Mr O! 32. President Of Kenya. 33. Guest verse-ist On AKA’s next album. 34. Fashion intern, GQ We’re hiring. 35. Painter, dog art Does awesomer terriers than George W Bush. 36. House husband, Michelle Obama She had to do it for the past eight years – it’s the least he can do.

WORDS BY STAFF. PHOTOGRAPH BY EDDIE GUY AND JEAN MARCUS

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