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PAPA: Hmm. Actually, this is a two-part question. PARIS: (Smiles and giggles) PAPA: Imagine you were dating a guy who was still friends with his ex-girlfriend. And you were going to move in with him but he had a drawer with pictures of his ex-girlfriend—not nudie pictures or anything, just regular pictures and some letters. MSN GROUP: Mystery's Lounge
PARIS: Ooh. I would so get rid of them. I would put them in a box.
SUBJECT: Field Report—The Seduction of Paris Hilton AUTHOR: Papa Today, I went with Style, Mystery, and our real estate agent to our prospective mansion, Dean Martin's old crib in the Hollywood Hills. I am in love with the place and can't wait to close the deal. We will be on top of the world, literally and figuratively. When you are in our crib, everything seems perfect. It's a short walk to a popular Mexican fast-food restaurant, so we went over there for a late lunch. After ordering food, we found a table outside. Suddenly, our agent leaned over to me and whispered: REAL ESTATE AGENT: You know, I saw Paris Hilton walk inside the restaurant. I think she's ordering a burrito. Why don't you go pick her
I cut her off and continued with the opener. PAPA: Do you think it's unreasonable for her to want him to get rid of those pictures? PARIS: Oh, for sure. I dated a guy who did that, and I tossed them. PAPA: Wow! The reason why I asked was because I have a friend in the same situation, and she burned them. PARIS: Yes. That's what I should have done. [Smiles] PAPA: Hmm. Cool. Paris finished getting her salsa, then took her salsa containers and started to walk away.
up? PAPA: Really? STYLE: Hey, if you are going to walk over there, don't look in her direction.
PAPA: Hey, you know, you look like a little cartoon version of Britney Spears. Oh, maybe it's just your teeth.
PAPA: All right, it's playtime. I got up, walked into the restaurant, and saw a hot blonde chick getting salsa.
Paris put her salsa container back on the table, looked at me, and smiled. Then I told her Style's Cs versus Us routine.
So I thought, "Salsa sounds good to me." I've been gearing my game up for this moment, and now it was time to take what I deserved. So I walked over to her side and pretended like I was just at the salsa bar by coincidence. I helped myself to some salsa, and then looked over my right shoulder at her and started the conversation with Style's jealous girlfriend opener. PAPA: Hey, I need a female opinion on something? PARIS: (Smiles and looks up) Okay.
PAPA: Yeah! You have Britney teeth. Well, that's what my ex-girlfriend said. I mean, she has a theory that girls who have teeth in a wide C-shape, like Britney Spears, are perceived as good girls, no matter how many guys they hook up with. You have the same kind of C-shaped teeth. PARIS: (Excited and smiling) Oh, yeah? PAPA: Hey, I mean, just look at the smiles of the cover girls on magazines. They have the same kind of teeth. Well, at least that's what she said.
PAPA: Would you date a guy who was still friends with his ex-girlfriend?
She even got surgery done to her teeth because she had U-shaped
PARIS: Yeah. I think so. Sure.
teeth, like Christina Aguilera. She said U-shaped teeth are perceived as unfriendly, and that's why Christina Aguilera has the bad girl
I started to walk away, then turned back and continued the conversation.
reputation and Britney Spears doesn't.