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Strategic Life Decisions: Who Has the Final Say?
although rural women are equally split between preferring male and female children. A deeply ingrained set of normative views about gender distribution of responsibilities and perceptions by communities permeated the reasons for preferring sons, echoed by the participants. It is based on the consequences of inheritance laws and customs that determine what the male members of the family are entitled to, such as family property and business; having boys guarantees that assets or patrimony remain in the family: In our community, life is difficult for the man [and his immediate family] who does not have a son. Most of his relatives expect to get his property when he dies and his property is distributed by his relatives and not [given to his] wife or daughter. If he has a son, all his property will belong to his son. (Rural young woman, Naw Da, Afghanistan)
Males carry the family or clan name and guarantee the continuity of the lineage; the family’s status increases if the son does well: “I prefer a boy. I will be socially accepted if he succeeds” (young woman, River Nile State, Sudan). Boys are expected to help support the household with their earnings and provide for elderly parents: “We have to depend on our sons to take care of us. Daughters have to care for their husband’s family” (young man, Hung Yen District, Vietnam). Many participants considered sons easier to care for because they represent less risk to the family’s honor: “It is more difficult to provide a good upbringing for female children. To go out to a café and drink alcohol is all right for men, but not for women. If a girl sleeps with 115 guys, everyone labels her in one way; if a man does the same, everyone sees it differently [as not so bad]” (young woman, Sumadija District, Serbia). Boys who have more freedom carry positive externalities for the father: “A father can have fun with a son or drink with him” (young man, Justynowo, Poland). And in conflict areas, such as Afghanistan and West Bank and Gaza, sons help protect the household better than daughters. The reasons for preferring girls also reflect the normative and institutional systems underlying gender inequalities. When daughters were preferred, the focus groups desired them for their feminine qualities. Daughters take care of the parents, especially in old age: “It’s different when you grow old. A daughter will more likely take care of the mother than a son (young woman, Justynowo, Poland); “[I want] my first child to be a girl so she can help me with housework” (young woman, East Sepik Province, Papua New Guinea). Girls have a better understanding of household management and its difficulties. Girls are easier to bring up because “a girl is more docile and she keeps you company” (young woman, Chiclayo, Peru). Families look at the future economic reward that girls represent when they marry: “I prefer daughters because I know that at some stage I will benefit from her [bride price]” (young man, Umlazi township B, Durban, South Africa). These views plainly reflect the expectations attached to different life paths for male and female children. The preference for girls has increased in our sample On Norms and Agency • http://dx.doi.org/10.1596/978-0-8213-9862-3