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ALASKA’S excessively productive NEWSPAPER • march 28 - APRIL 3, 2013 • VOL. 22, ED. 13 • FREE

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March 28 - April 3, 2013

MARCH 28 - April 3, 2013 • Vol. 22, Ed. 13

CONTENTS

Anchorage Press 540 East 5th Avenue Anchorage AK 99501

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Letters

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Opinion The taxicab system isn’t broken. By Ivan Moore The many faces of autism. By Mike Dingman

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Publisher Steve Abeln steve.abeln@anchoragepress.com Publisher Emeritus Nick Coltman Editor Victoria Barber editor@anchoragepress.com Staff Writer Scott Christiansen scott@anchoragepress.com Entertainment Editor Daniella Cortez Alvarez calendar@anchoragepress.com Art Director Diane Karalunas Circulation Manager Mike McCue circulation@anchoragepress.com Contributors Rob Brezsny, Mike Dingman, Chuck Legge, Bob Grimm, Ted Rall, James ‘Dr. Fermento’ Roberts, Ned Rozell, Chuck Shepherd, Jamie Smith, Tom Tomorrow, Jill Missal, Ivan Moore, Brandon Allen, Darius Davis, Ryan Georgioff, Colleen Bailey Advertising Account Executives Bridget Mackey bridget@anchoragepress.com Karen Truitt Karen.Truitt@anchoragepress.com Pete Nolan arcticwarriorpete@gmail.com Sylvia Maiellaro sylviamaiellaro4@gmail.com The Anchorage Press in an Anchorage-wide news, features, arts, entertainment, and recreation paper. Established in 1992, the Press is printed weekly on Thursdays and distributed at over 400 locations. Mail subscriptions are available for $42 per year. Copyright: the Anchorage Press is published by Wick Communications Co. With the exception of syndicated features and cartoons, the contents of the Anchorage Press are copyright 2012 by Anchorage Press. No portion may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means including electronic retrieval systems without the express written permission of the publisher.

22 Music fire island, AK on noise and art. By Ryan Georgioff 23 Music Macklemore and Ryan Lewis want you to think, then dance. By Daniella Cortez

News Will Girdwood get its school expansion? Nick Moe launches write-in campaign challenging Ernie Hall. By Scott Christiansen

26 Theater On women and resilience—A Gulag Mouse gets it right. By Colleen Bailey 28 Health Probing the depths of male health concerns. By Dr. Darius Davis

8 News Bettye Davis and Don Smith duke it out for School Board Seat E. By Scott Christiansen 8

Blotter

9

Headlamp A winter bike trip down the Denali Highway. By Jill Missal

28 Science Creatures that can survive below -100 F. By Ned Rozell 31 Film Spring Breakers is one long party foul. By Bob Grimm

12 Food Does it matter where you get your sugar from? By Ash Adams

35 Classifieds

16

Rolling in A-Town The good and the bad when it comes to wheelchair access in Anchorage. By Mary Lochner

39 Puzzles

13 Brew Review Old Humpy’s gift shop repurposed for pizza, pool and—yes—beer. By Dr. Fermento

40 Toons

18 Top Ten A wine-buying guide for regular people. By Brandon Allen

41 Free Will Astrology By Rob Brezsny

40 News of the Weird By Chuck Shepherd

ON THE COVER

21 Picks of the Week

Art by Bill Jamison.

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letters

The statesmen of today In reply to Ivan Moore’s editorial “Where are the statesmen of today?” (March 21): Yes, we still have a few. But most of them are not in the current majority of the legislature. To name a few still trying to serve the public with Gary Stevens, we have Johnny Ellis, Hollis French, Bill Wielechowski, and Les Gara. My favorite stateswoman is Bettye Davis, who is running for seat A on the Anchorage School Board. She served on the Anchorage School Board and on the state Board of Education. She also represented Anchorage in the state House and Senate. Her statesman(woman) status makes her the ideal person to guide the school board in its current challenges. - Cheryl Lovegreen, Anchorage

A business opportunity While driving around our fair city I was thinking about all the out-of-work I/M shops and I realized that Anchorage is in need of a new car and truck service center. I figure that a savvy mechanic could make a good living as a turn signal repair shop owner. It would appear that at least 90 percent of blinkers around town are broken. - Ben Waschke, Anchorage

We love to get letters Wherever possible, we preserve “voices,” but letters may be edited for length, clarity, and taste. Submissions should be signed, along with the writer’s city or town and state, and a phone number (for confirmation only).

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opinion>>moore report

opinion>>mike dingman

If it ain’t broke

Spectrum of awareness

Changing taxicab permitting would cause more problems than it would solve

For April 2, learn more about autism in its different forms

By Ivan Moore

A

few years ago, there was a proposition on the election ballot here in Anchorage that sought to deregulate taxi service in town. It was a silly idea, dreamt up by a UAA student and his professor as some kind of grand economics experiment. I worked on the campaign to defeat it, and the voting public agreed with what our side said and voted the proposition down hard, by a 2 to 1 margin. Taxis in Anchorage provide pretty decent service, with a pretty high level of satisfaction. I’ve lived here for 25 years, and I’ve never once not been able to get a cab when I needed one. They don’t cost too much, are generally clean and safe, and don’t rip you off taking you the long way to the place you need to go. There are about 170 cabs in town. The number is set by law, by a cap on the number of taxi permits. The permits themselves have value on the open market, much like liquor permits, and are transferable as a commodity. You want to get into the taxi business? A permit will set you back about $150,000. Now, I don’t care whether that sounds right or wrong, it’s just the way it is. That price is set by the open market. There will always be inherent value in something that is limited in number and makes you money if you have one. So the UAA student and his economics professor decided they’d use Anchorage as a petri dish to see what would happen if taxi service was deregulated, if the cap was removed. Let anyone who wants to become a taxi become a taxi, they said. All they need to do is go down to City Hall and pay $50 for a license. Well, let’s not even consider the problem that it would render existing permits essentially valueless, and potentially constitute an illegal taking of property. Let’s just consider the economic ramifications of what happens when you suddenly remove the permit cap and quickly you have, say, double the number of taxis on the street. Competition is good! Free market forces will winnow out the bad cabs! The number of cabs out there will be determined by the economy! This is what the proponents said, anyway. And it is wrong. When do you get a cab? I don’t know about you, but mostly I get them to and from the airport. I’m not one for late nights bouts of drinking, but I’ve certainly used them in those circumstances too. Whatever the reason, I take a taxi because I need to, not because I want to. So let’s say the number of permits doubles. Overnight. Are you going to go “Wow, look at all those cabs out there… I’m going to get one of those!”? No. You’re going to get a cab when you need one, exactly as before. So the pie isn’t going to grow any. It’s just going to get split up between twice as many cabs, with a smaller slice

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for each one. And what you find, through the implementation of good old market forces, is that service doesn’t get better, it gets worse, because people start cutting corners. And prices don’t go down, they go up because everyone is scrabbling around getting fewer fares and making less money. Just about every city in the United States that has ever tried any form of “open-entry” taxi deregulation before has seen an increase not only in cost, but also in negative things like aggressive solicitation, poorly maintained cabs, trip refusals, circuitous routes and so on. So our old friend Debbie Ossiander must have done her homework on this. Because as a kind of last-minute swansong before leaving office, Debbie has proposed an ordinance that seeks to radically increase the number of taxi permits in Anchorage. Not only does it seek to increase the supply of new permits, it will establish a whole host of unnecessary specialty permits, it will abolish whole facets of the regulatory system that’s currently in place, and… oh yes, it states that in 10 years, taxi permits shall become non-transferable. That’s nice, hey? How’d you like it if a politician got a law passed that said that you couldn’t sell something of yours that has value? Like your house, for example. In 10 years, your house shall become non-transferable. Really? There’s a big government “conservative” for ya. The burr in her hide, of course, is the Eagle River/Chugiak problem. It’s impossible to get a cab out there. It’s not economically worthwhile for a cab to drive 10-15 miles from Anchorage to pick up a fare out in the boonies. Oftentimes, once they get there, the fare is gone, and what if the ride just wants to go a short distance? They’ve burned up more in gas getting there than they made in cab fare. In my book, that’s the nature of living out in Chugiak. Pros and cons. Deal with it. The other problem in town with respect to cabs is the bar closing problem… that period of very high demand in the middle of the night that lasts about 30 minutes. Yay, drunk people. I love taking them home! It’s clear to me, with respect to both these problems, you don’t try and solve them by dumping a whole bunch of new permits into the market. The solution to the Eagle River/Chugiak problem is to have a few specialized local permits serving the population out there, and the solution to closing time is to temporarily allow cabs to give rides to groups of people all going to the same part of town. You’ve heard the old adage “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” right? You maybe haven’t heard this one, though… “If it ain’t broke, some politician who’s just about to leave office is bound to mess with it anyway.” It’s less known, but just as true. Ivan Moore is a public opinion pollster who lives in Anchorage and works for a variety of clients—political, corporate, public sector, or just plain curious—around Alaska. His opinions are his own and we give him a long leash. He can be reached at ivan@ivanmooreresearch.com.

By Mike Dingman

W

hen you think of autism, you might think of the character Raymond Babbitt, played by Dustin Hoffman in the movie Rain Man. Or Sally Matthews in the movie House of Cards, struggling to communicate her pain after the trauma of her father’s death. Those, however, are not the real faces of autism. Autism is a disorder that affects different people at different functional levels. Autism can be the high-functioning kid with Asperger Syndrome, who does well in school but throws a crying fit when he can’t wear any of his jeans because of how they feel on his skin. Or a person who can mimic movie lines word for word but can’t comprehend the concept of time and is too timid to explain how his day was. It’s also the student that’s smart enough to get straight A’s, but gets mediocre grades because her social anxiety is so high that she cannot participate in class. A recent Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report says that one in 88 American children has some sort of autism spectrum disorder. The report also shows that parentreported cases leading to diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder have increased significantly. It’s not at all surprising that autism is misunderstood by most people, because the experts have a hard time understanding it as well. We still have very little idea what causes autism. The American Autism Association points out some of the signs of autism that parents can look for at an early age. Some signs are when a child doesn’t recognize his or her own name by 12 months, avoids eye contact and wants to be alone a lot, has delayed speech and language skills, trouble comprehending other people’s feelings or expressing

how they feel, and has obsessive interests or repeating words and phrases over and over again. As in most disorders, early detection is essential. While there is no “cure” for autism, treatments such as speech therapy, behavioral therapy and some medications can help autistic children and improve their chances of having a more normal life into adulthood. Tuesday, April 2, is the sixth annual world autism awareness day. According to the website Autism Speaks, it’s a day when “autism organizations around the world celebrate with… unique fundraising and awareness-raising events.” One of the ways you can be involved on April 2, or on any day for that matter, is to donate money to one of the many charities that help support children with autism disorders. You could also donate your time and volunteer with any of the organizations that work with autistic children in an effort to make their lives better and their futures more prosperous. There are so many great kids out there that suffer from the effects of the different disorders on the autism spectrum. Chances are you know someone affected by autism, whether you are aware of it or not. So on Tuesday, do two things, first—vote. It’s election day in Anchorage and with a projected turnout (by me) of about 18.5 percent, we need as many of you making your voice heard in the community as possible. After you’ve done that, take some time and learn a little bit about autism. Learn about the different disorders on the autism spectrum and how you can help to make the lives of autistic people a little better. Learn which of your friends have children affected by autism and get to know them, spend time with them, and encourage your friends and neighbors to do the same thing. Chances are you’ll learn far more from them than they will learn from you.

As in most disorders, early detection is essential.

Mike Dingman was born and raised in Anchorage. He is a former student body president at UAA and has studied, worked and volunteered in Alaska politics since the late ‘90s. His opinions are his own. He can be reached at michaeldingman@ gmail.com.

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Bond would pay for “orphan” school projects Girdwood’s school would be expanded for $23 million. By Scott Christiansen

A

nchorage voters will be asked Tuesday to approve $54.8 million in school bonds. More than half the total would be spent in Anchorage and on district-wide projects, but the biggest single project is a $23 million expansion of Girdwood’s K-8 school. (The ski village has no high school.) Families in Girdwood are hoping to have the bond passed on the first goround and say they’ve worked for years for an expansion to the school. “We are the big ticket,” said Girdwood PTA board member Shannon Earl, who has two daughters in elementary grades at the school. “Though it is very small and awfully overcrowded, I think what we do have is a staff that has been successful at making things work,” Earl said. Girdwood parents say the jockeying-around has been extensive. This year’s kindergarten class outgrew the room used last year. The school library was moved and kindergarten occupies the previous library. The library shrunk, though it has the same number of books. There is no middle school science lab, a fact parents are concerned about because Alaska requires a statewide science test for all eighth graders. (Alaska requires science assessments at grades four, eight and 10, according to the state Department of Education.) Girdwood parents said their middle school students take math class in a different room each day, part of a rotation that frees space for other students. And no one in Girdwood sees the population shrinking. They doubt this is the last school year when the class of kindergarten-age children will be bigger than the previous year.

“The school has been really successful at making it work, but every year the enrollment gets a little but higher, so making it work gets a little bit tighter,” Earl said. “We have a real need. It is not just what would be nice for Girdwood, it is an educational need to have space to learn and space for teachers to do their jobs.” The bond package will also pay for construction (or design) on projects at 27 schools throughout the district. One recent editorial in the Girdwood newspaper Turnagain Times referred to this year’s bond package as “orphan projects” that were left out of recently passed school bonds. Voters turned down design money for Girdwood School in 2009 and 2011. (There were no school bonds placed on the 2010 ballot.) The design money, $2.4 million, was passed in 2012. The biggest projects after Girdwood School are a $4.7 million cafeteria renovation at Bartlett High School and a $5.7 million gym expansion at Aurora Elementary. The remainder—about $21.4 million—is split nearly in half between the design of future projects and small jobs the District calls “building life extension projects” at the other 24 sites. As of August 2012, the District had $623 million of bonds outstanding, according to a debt memo circulated among school board members and posted on the District’s website. It sounds like a lot, but it is also the lowest amount of debt the District has held in a decade. The District retired $247 million of debt in the last five fiscal years. During that same five-year period, voters approved $120 million of new debt to fund capital improvements, nearly half the amount of debt that was retired. The District expects to be reimbursed by the state of Alaska for the bond projects. The state’s reimbursement rates vary, but are currently between 60 and 70 percent, depending on the project. The cost to property tax payers for paying off the bond is estimated at $4.85 for every $100,000 in assessed value on taxable property. The 2013 bond is for $54 million. The District plans to retire $270 million in debt over the next five years, paying off an average of $56 million each year.

Assembly chairman has challenger West side race attracts write-in campaign By Scott Christiansen

T

he tipping point for Nick Moe—which toppled him headlong into a write-in campaign against West Anchorage Assemblyman Ernie Hall—came when the Assembly announced it would stop taking public testimony on Ordinance 37. (The ordinance passed by a 6-5 Assembly vote Tuesday night.) About 280 people spoke to the Assembly about the ordinance over four meetings, including special meetings arranged just for Ordinance 37 testimony. Most were against the ordinance, which rewrites city labor law and weakens city employee unions. But Moe says his campaign isn’t just about the ordinance. It’s about a pattern he sees in Hall’s performance. “Ernie Hall cutting off the testimony on the ordinance was the breaking point for me,” Moe said. “It fits a pattern. He has had a long pattern of not listening to West Anchorage, of not listening to the people who he represents.” Moe said Hall was out of touch with community councils on the west side. “I have not seen him once at North Star Community Council, the one that I attend,” Moe said. “If people want to put in the energy to learn about an issue and get involved, they are deserving of my time.” Hall bristles at those criticisms. He admitted missing some meetings, including a recent Northstar meeting, but said he attends as many council meetings as he is able. “I stay for the entire meeting and I listen. I don’t just give a report and leave,” Hall said. He added that he hosts community council leaders in his home at least twice a year—the informal dinners are a practice Hall picked up from state representative Harriett Drummond, who was the senior west side Assembly member when Hall was first elected in 2010. Moe ran for mayor at the age of 19 in 2006, the year U.S. Senator Mark Begich was re-elected for his second term as mayor with about 55 percent of the vote. Jack Frost, the owner of advertising firm who ran as a conservative alternative to Begich, came in second with about 41 percent of the vote. Moe was a distant third with about 2.5 percent of the vote, but he impressed Begich on the campaign trail and landed a job in City Hall working on community projects such as recycling. Moe is now 26 years old and works as an organizer for Alaska Center for the Environment. Moe also criticized some of Hall’s votes on amendments to Title 21, the city land use and zoning code that went through March 28 - April 3, 2013

a decade-long rewrite process before being passed last month. Title 21 is far reaching and many organizations got involved in the rewrite process. Neighborhood activists, developers and professional associations of builders and architects all had input. (Though many, professionals and citizen activists alike, would claim the process was flawed whenever a specific issue didn’t go their way.) Moe says Hall should have supported Title 21 changes fostered during that decade of public input. Moe did not mention Mayor Dan Sullivan, but many of the changes were removed from the document as the Mayor put his own stamp on Title 21 with input from builders, commercial property owners and a Sullivanappointed Planning and Zoning Commission. “On Title 21 we had over 200 people testify at the Assembly hearings, people who offered very specific language that is very middle-of-the-road, such as stream buffers that protect homeowners from flooding,” Moe said. “Ernie Hall and a lot of folks on the Assembly agreed that was reasonable and then voted against it.” Hall says the intention of the Assembly is to revisit the stream setbacks after city planners make additional recommendations in six months. He also cited the Spenard Road plan and the preservation of 60-acre Campbell Creek Estuary as accomplishments the Assembly has made during his tenure, partly by listening to people. The estuary was a land grant to the city from a group of preservationists. Mayor Sullivan initially opposed government ownership of the 60 acres, citing the expense, and saying developers should have an opportunity to purchase the land. “Everybody knows the Mayor had kind of decided, ‘No’ the city was not going to take that [land] and it made more sense for developers for that to be developed and put onto the tax roles,” Hall said. “It took almost a year to work through that, but we now have the Campbell Creek Estuary.” Hall has been chairman of the Assembly for nearly a year. The debate over public testimony on Ordinance 37 landed in his lap, but the body as a whole voted to cut off testimony. In addition to Moe (and presumably his supporters), the move attracted the attention of the American Civil liberties Union. Jeffrey Mittman, executive director at ACLU of Alaska, sent Hall a letter warning that cutting off testimony could be interpreted as unconstitutional. The ACLU letter points to the city charter’s guarantee of public hearings and to past Assembly hearings. (Specifically the letter points to the 2009 hearings over a gay rights ordinance at which hundreds of people testified.) Hall says he met with Mittman Monday. He does not think the ACLU will sue, and says he is working on an ordinance to establish rules for future public hearings. Hall believes limiting the testimony on Ordinance 37 was a reasonable move, but agrees the rules should be clarified. He says he doesn’t think a charter amendment will be necessary.

Assembly candidate Ernie Hall

Assembly candidate Nick Moe

Moe and Hall are scheduled to meet Thursday evening (the day this edition of the Press hits the streets) in a forum hosted by the west side community councils. The candidates’ forum is scheduled for 7 to 9 p.m. Thursday, March 28, 2013 at the Spenard Recreation Center, 2020 W. 48th Ave.

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<<BLOTTER>>

news

By Scott Christiansen

A septuagenarian face-off

Somebody sang In late February, a suspicious package arrived in Anchorage via the post office’s Express Mail service and some cops, led by federal agents, got busy and set up a drug sting. The package contained a box labeled “The Singing Machine,” a brand of karaoke machine. The Singing Machine box contained heroin. As street drugs go, heroin is extremely addictive. It shouldn’t surprise anyone that customers were anxiously awaiting the arrival of The Singing Machine. It also turns out that one man involved in the conspiracy was ready to sing the very night he got caught up in The Singing Machine sting. (Federal agents, it seems, can be persuasive.) The case has just begun in U.S. District Court in Anchorage, but details can be found in affidavits filed by a special agent of the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency. The DEA agent was first tipped off by a U.S. Postal Inspector, who decided the package had, in the DEA agent’s words, “characteristics used by traffickers of narcotics.” The agents discovered it contained 2 pounds, 12 ounces (about one and one-quarter kilograms) of brown tar heroin wrapped in vacuum-sealed bags and taped together in a bundle. It was being sent to an address on Boniface Parkway from an address in Mecca, California. The agents replaced the real smack with fake stuff and a GPS tracking device. Before re-wrapping The Singing Machine box in the Express Mail package, the agents sprayed their decoy drugs with Clue Spray, a product cops use to mark the fingers of unwitting bad guys. Clue Spray ink becomes visible under ultraviolet light. (The manufacturers say it is “almost invisible” on a black or white surface and it costs $28.50 a can online—plus shipping and a “hazmat surcharge.”) The cops worked quickly. The affidavit says that on February 21, the same day the real dope was intercepted, the postal inspector was knocking on a door in Boniface Parkway. The team had a search warrant allowing them to follow their decoy drugs. The package was delivered at about 6:26 p.m., and at about 7:40 p.m., the GPS-tracker made an alarm tone. About seven minutes later the cops were inside and one man was scurrying for the bathroom. The decoy drugs were on the floor in a bedroom, according to the affidavit, which was written by DEA special Agent Nathaniel Clementson. Special Agent Clementson filed two affidavits in two separate court cases, but both describe The Singing Machine from Mecca. The agent did not reveal how many people were at the Boniface address for the bust. The affidavit doesn’t say how many cops were there, or how many suspects were present when cops arrived. Clementson did write that one suspect quickly flipped. A confidential source—known only as “CS” in the affidavit that describes the source—made some phone calls to would-be heroin buyers. CS was able to arrange a drug deal (or possibly deals) that very night. The confidential source was offering brown tar heroin in 25-gram pieces, but agent Clementson did not reveal the price. One man allegedly asked CS for 10 pieces and a delivery was arranged. An undercover agent accompanied CS to the drug deal and the pair met the man at a gas station first. The man asked them to meet up at a residence on East 15th Avenue. The cops busted two buyers there. One man allegedly pulled a bag containing $25,000 from a microwave. (That seems like an odd place to store cash unless an apartment has been rented solely for the purpose of cash transactions during which bags of money need to be hidden and trust is an ephemeral, but necessary, part of the deal.) The other man allegedly admitted to bringing $1,800 along with him, hoping to purchase heroin. Three men have been charged so far in the Singing Machine drug sting. Federal prosecutors charged Douglas Cole Black for attempted possession of one kilo of heroin with intent to distribute. Also charged were Steven Michael Hinshaw and Jimmie Kelly Richardson, both for “conspiracy to attempt to distribute” at least 100 grams of heroin. Saturday, March 16—It took troopers just sixand-half hours to find the Caterpillar 966C front-end loader that was reported stolen from a property on the Sterling Highway. A tipster noticed the loader had been left on Kettle View Avenue, about seven miles away in Homer. The investigation continues… Sunday, March 17—You might expect to count on cheerfulness, merriment or straight-up gaiety in a place named “Happy Valley,” but you can’t judge a neighborhood by its name. Troopers went to the valley at the request of a 30-year-old man who had barricaded himself in a bathroom and called for help. Near as troopers can figure out, the man was using the loo as a panic room to put an end to threats—and an alleged assault—made by his 44-year-old roommate. The older man was arrested for domestic violence assault and jailed in Homer. —Scott Christiansen

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Two former legislators vie for School Board Seat E By Scott Christiansen

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ncumbent school board member Don Smith, a Republican since his college days in the 1960s, couldn’t have attracted a challenger further from his political views if he had tried. One of the few things Smith and former state Senator Bettye Davis have in common is their age. They are both 74. They are also well-known politicians. Smith served in the State House from 1967 to 1968. He has also served on the Anchorage Assembly and touts himself as being the “father” of Anchorage’s tax cap, which is meant to slow the growth of local government. Davis, who lost her state Senate seat last November, is also a former Anchorage School board member, with nine years experience on the board. She is not shy about telling voters she was gerrymandered out of the Senate job during a Republican-controlled redistricting of legislative boundaries. She lost the election to Anna Fairclough, an Eagle River Republican who was previously a State House representative. Many of Davis’ traditional voters in Mountain View and East Anchorage were removed from the new district, which extends into Eagle River, where Republicans consistently win elections. Davis was the only African American in the state legislature. She has said her run for school board is not about Smith—“There were two seats open and this is the one I happened to pick,” Davis said at an Anchorage Chamber of Commerce forum. She told the audience at the same forum she is concerned about a lack of diversity on the school board. Davis said an “all-Caucasian” school board should be a matter of concern in a city as diverse as Anchorage. “I think I bring a variety of perspectives to the board and I bring more perspectives than my opponent,” she said. She is a retired nurse and social worker. She has worked for the state in the foster care system and as a psychiatric nurse. Davis has been emphasizing pre-kindergarten education in her campaign. She also believes passing Alaska’s high school exit exam should not be required for a student to earn a diploma. At the chamber forum, the candidates were asked what stage in a child’s life was “most crucial” for the child’s success. The short version of Davis’ answer was “the first three years” but she talked longer. In a somewhat rambling speech she drew an arc that linked pre-kindergarten years to the challenges faced by young adults. Part of the speech warned of what happens when society doesn’t invest in the care for very young children. “We know what happens on the other end. If we have all of these kids that are going to be dropping out of school, we know what is going to happen to them. They are not going to be able to get jobs. They are going to end up on the wrong side of the tracks, in prison or in someplace where they should not be,” Davis said. “But if we start off early enough with our children, with prevention, pre-school—we don’t have pre-K education and there’s no reason we should not.”

Davis said her run for school board is not about Smith— “There were two seats open and this is the one I happened to pick.”

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mith answered the same question with a roundabout tangent of his own. He recognized early-childhood education then pivoted to a talk about budget restraints. “I also agree that the earlier you educate our children, the better off they are going to be, but you also have to take into account the fiscal limitations,” Smith said. The school board, Smith said, “had to cut $25 million out its budget” this year. He predicted another $25 million cut next year and another $25 million cut the following year. “We are going backwards and that only can relate to larger class sizes and problems,” Smith said. As if recognizing his own negativity, Smith pivoted again. He switched to emphasizing the board’s accomplishments on the vocational education front, saying middle school and high school years are important, because that’s when students prepare for work. Vocational education is something Smith emphasized during his initial run for school board three years ago. “We were able to shift some money in the school district. We moved the career and technical education program from an $11 million program to about $19 million and we were able to place on the ballot some bonding which has allowed us to improve the facilities at all the senior and middle schools,” Smith said. In 2012, voters approved $59 million in school bonds, with $23.8

School Board candidate Bettye Davis

School Board candidate Don Smith

million of the total for career and technical education projects. Smith said he pushed hard for the expand career programs in school board meetings. The debate over a constitutional amendment to allow public funding of private schools and religious schools has become a common question for the candidates. It comes up frequently, despite being little more than a litmus test. Smith supports giving public money for private education and Davis is against it. School boards won’t have much say in the matter, but if the Legislature puts a constitutional question before voters the debate is expected to become more controversial—and more pervasive in media. During the Anchorage Chamber forum the candidates were given a chance to ask each other questions. Smith was given the opportunity first. “I have no questions,” he said, which briefly silenced the room. The moderator than gave Davis a chance to question Smith, she asked Smith to explain his support for the constitutional amendment. “You can’t get there if you don’t change constitutional amendment,” Smith said. “Would you speak to why it needs to be done?” Davis asked. “I think every family and every child in the Anchorage School District, and for that matter in the state of Alaska, should have choice,” Smith said. “I don’t have a problem with that, as long as there are restrictions.” Smith said the state can fund private schools by adopting rules to prevent the state’s money from being used for religious indoctrination. “I think competition will make the Anchorage School District rise. I am not afraid of it at all,” Smith said. The moderator didn’t give Davis an opportunity to reply. (No forum’s perfect.) This week Davis told the Press she doesn’t believe private schools, even if given state money, will accept poor students or special needs students. “I hope the public will not fall into that,” Davis said. “Private schools are not going to want to take our underachieving students.” March 28 - April 3, 2013

HEADLAMP

Winter biking the Denali Highway Sometimes the wrong tools still get the job done By Jill Missal

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he thing about traveling in backcountry Alaska is that you really have to use the right tool for the job. About 10 yards after starting to pedal my fat bike away from the lodge at Paxson towards the one at the MacLaren River, I knew I didn’t have the right tool for the job. Neither did the other three women who had set out to pedal the Denali Highway with me in early March, but that didn’t stop us from doing it anyway. We had assembled in Glennallen the night before to organize our annual ride, one we call “Pecha Kucha” for reasons only known to us. Jenn Roberts and Sierra van der Meer drove from Whitehorse, while Jill Homer flew up from California and met me in Anchorage so we could carpool to Glennallen. We’d done a similar trip last year on the first Pecha Kucha, though then it was Jill and I taking on the long drive to Whitehorse so that the four of us could ride a portion of the Yukon Quest trail. This year, the Canadians graciously took their turn to drive. Planning had been weak. What can we say, we’re all busy women. Luckily, Jill Homer took the reins when it came to plotting the route and, if nothing else, at least knew how far we’d have to pedal (42 miles to the next warm bed, which is far on a fat bike in winter on a soft trail). After finding out just how many fat bikes laden with winter gear could fit into a hotel room along with four women, we packed our stuff onto our bikes and launched. We all knew what we were in for after cranking through the first quarter mile of soft, snowmachine-churned trail. Skis really would have been a better tool for self-powered travel in those conditions. But we didn’t have skis, we had bikes, and what else were we going to do with our time? The sheer excitement of finally starting our trip propelled us up and over the first seven-mile climb. Two stubborn moose distracted us from the second, until the novelty of chasing moose wore off and the pain of pushing heavily loaded bikes up an unrelenting incline for several hours set in. At that point we had to face the fact that instead of our hoped-for six-mph pace, we were barely making three mph, average. The five-mile descent on the other side made us all quickly forget the effort, though, and we were then committed. Next thing we knew, we were 20 miles in and watching the sun set, with 22 more miles to go. The late hour wasn’t that big of a deal. No one lives north of 60 and gets away without knowing how to travel after dark. The combination of soft trail, long distance, and various other maladies made the imminent darkness seem melodramatic until it actually descended upon us, after which it was OK. I think it was just the pain-in-the-butt factor of stopping to get our bike lights out that put us in a funk. No one wanted to halt forward progress for any reason. Once they were on and operational, it was smooth sailing. Or maybe that was due to the seven-mile

descent into MacLaren River Lodge? Over dinner, all hardships were forgotten, as we stuffed ourselves with burgers and, in Sierra’s case, about seven different kinds of beverages. We had two nights at MacLaren so we had free time the next day. The other women planned to ride on for a while (we’d agreed to try to reach the next roadhouse, Alpine Creek Lodge, but we knew right away we’d never make it given the conditions) and then return to MacLaren in the evening, but I hesitated. As the only Alaskan in the group, and the only one not obsessed with biking at all costs, I was drawn to the snowmobiles outside. I knew I’d see a lot more and cover a lot more miles on a machine than on a bicycle. “A bike isn’t the tool for traveling in interior Alaska if you want to go off-trail,” whispered the devil on my shoulder.

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didn’t need my shoulder-devil to convince me. From the moment we’d pedaled away from Paxson I’d been scheming how I’d get to ride a snowmobile. All that country and I was stuck on the packed trail on a bicycle. As I pedaled along I’d planned my strategy for approaching the folks at MacLaren for the loan of a snowmobile. I hinted that I’d like to see the country away from the trail. I wheedled a seat on the Piston Bully that MacLaren uses to groom the road and the trails and mentioned how much fun it would be to do the trip on a snowmobile instead. I was well on my way to the driver’s seat on a sled—and then I heard Sierra and Jenn telling stories. “I can’t ride a snowmobile,” one of them laughed. The other jumped in with a tale of running into a building the first time she tried to drive one. Neither of them were what you’d call snowmobile people. And these were Yukoners! The lodge employee, Sean, who’d agreed to take me out on sleds blanched. “I know how to ride one,” I assured him hastily. “No problem.” He smiled anxiously, but agreed to let me ride out with him to follow the Piston Bully. I could see that he was still nervous, though, casting wary glances over at me as I suited up and jumped on the lodge’s Bearcat wearing borrowed gear, including a pair of caribou hide booties, which outperformed any expensive and highly engineered winter footwear I’ve ever worn. The other women pedaled off to see how far they could make it in a relaxed day’s ride (later they reported even worse trail conditions past MacLaren, so I knew I’d made the right choice). A few miles of competent riding assured Sean that I wasn’t going to impale the machine on any fixed objects, and soon enough we’d caught up with the Piston Bully and sped out into the open country beyond the trail. Motorhead or no, one must acknowledge that the tool for covering a lot of ground in the winter is unequivocally a snowmobile. We made short work of the miles-long lake we crossed, explored animal caches and tracks, peeked in the windows of an old “tuberculosis recovery cabin,” encountered moose and porcupines, and investigated a caribou-triggered avalanche high on a ridge. Sean lent me his mountain sled and I tried to learn to carve (I need more practice at that, but it was fun). We zipped up inclines in seconds that would have required five agonizing switchbacks were we on skis. It was a fantastic alternative to staring at my front tire and laboring along on the seat of a bike. After all, I reasoned, I’d be doing that for 42 more miles the next day. It turns out that snowmobiles are good for more than just see-

Biking the Denali Highway (from left to right) Jenn Roberts, Sierra van der Meer, Jill Homer, and writer Jill Missal. ing the country. The next morning I gratefully accepted a snowmobile bump to the top of MacLaren Pass, allowing me to enjoy coffee and bacon for a few hours while the other women labored up the hill at negative 11 F, starting at 7 a.m. They all were determined to climb the hill and I was determined to not, since it was very likely we’d have to push our bikes for miles due to the soft trail. I like to ride bikes, but I do not like to push bikes. Sean dropped me above the pass to meet them and I delivered hot breakfast burritos to the tired climbers and hopped on my bike with fresh legs. Sean a photo of us squinting in the bright northern morning sun, and off we rode. The human mind can be a strange thing. Trail that was just as slow, climbs just as long, and miles just as difficult seemed so much easier since we knew what we were in for (and maybe because I’d skipped the steep climb out of MacLaren). We all felt that the effort was less than it had been the day before, but as it turned out we didn’t make any better time. One more dip into what we termed “low morale valley” for the way our spirits seemed to fall every time we passed through the steep descent and climb about 10 miles from Paxson, one more moose encounter, one more day of cloudless weather and one more look at the incredibly big views surrounding us at all times, and we were done. Bikes may not have been the best tool for the job, but in the end they got the job done. Without snowmobiles, we’d have never had a rideable surface, and without the bike, I wouldn’t have gotten to ride a snowmobile around the incredible country surrounding the Denali Highway. It’s a nice synergy, really, and finding the common ground is the Alaskan way after all.

SPORTS&RECLISTING>> Jr. Naturalist Program: BOTTLE GARDENS — It’s officially spring and you just can’t wait until green-up? Come and plant a “bottle garden” or terrarium to get a head start: bring a wide-mouthed jar; all other materials will be provided. The group will also go on a walk to look for signs of Mother Nature waking up from her winter slumber. Limited to 10 children (K-6th), accompanied by an adult, who register at 694-2108. Free program; $5 parking for non-members. Saturday, March 30, at 2 p.m. at the Eagle River Nature Center. (32750 Eagle River Rd., Eagle River) Rando info night — Join Kevin Turinsky of Alaska Randonneurs for a presentation on brevet rides, randonneuring, training and equipment. Riding 200K will never be easier or more fun. Randonneuring offers you a way to challenge yourself on roads you’ve probably never ridden before, and in a non-competitive style emphasizing friendly camaraderie, and where self-sufficiency and determination are paramount. Class begins at 6 p.m. on Thursday, March 28, in the Anchorage R.E.I store. (1200 Northern Lights Blvd.) Get Ready for the Clean Air Challenge — John Glidden will be speaking on “getting your body and mind prepared for your bicycle trek” and Steve Lindbeck will speak on the Clean Air Challenge, The Big Ride Across America, and share

March 28 - April 3, 2013

some fundraising and networking tips. Mr. Lindbeck is the region’s top fundraiser of all time for the American Lung Association. Steve will also be the keynote speaker at the Clean Air Challenge event. All registered Clean Air Challenge participants will receive a complimentary membership to the Alaska Club for the entire month of April to assist your training preparations at this clinic. If you are considering doing the Clean Air Challenge, this is a no miss event. If you are registered already, please come and be a part of this presentation, it will be beneficial to you and a safe, enjoyable trek. Event begins at 6 p.m. on Tuesday, April 2, in the Anchorage R.E.I store. (1200 Northern Lights Blvd.) GPS Navigation Basics — Join a REI Outdoor School instructor as he or she leads you through the basics of GPS navigation. Learn how to use your pocket-sized navigator to pinpoint your location, mark waypoints and navigate to distant points. The instructor will review the features to consider when choosing a receiver and introduce you to some of the fun and practical applications of using a GPS unit in your outdoor activities. At the end of the session, you will get hands-on experience with a GPS. NOTE: This class is intended for use of hand-held GPS units. If you own a hand-held GPS unit, please bring it to the class. This

is an in-store class. Class cost is $40 for non-members and $20 for members. Class begins at 6 p.m. on Wednesday, April 3, in the Anchorage R.E.I store. (1200 Northern Lights Blvd.)

are held Thursdays at 7 p.m. at Fairview Recreation Center (1121 E. 10th Ave.)

McGinley’s 5K Pub Run — Held every Tuesday. Register for free at Skinny Raven starting at 5:15 p.m. First group begins at 5:30 p.m. and the second group begins at 6 p.m., ending the run at McGinley’s Pub. Many prizes to give away with a different vendor each week.

Mindfulness Yoga — This Mindfulness Yoga class merges Buddhist Mindfulness meditation with classical yoga postures into a single practice of ‘meditation in motion’, that enlivens the body, liberates the spirit, and awakens compassion, equanimity and joy. During this 90-120 minutes class we will practice simple yoga postures with an emphasis that is less on the performance or form of the asanas and more on the exploration of sense-experience and its contents, quality and activity. Learn to observe the impermanent nature of sensations, emotions and mental states, which allows you to let go of unhealthy habit patterns of reactivity and guides you to the realization that freedom, clarity and happiness ultimately rest within ourselves. Suggested donation is $10.00 per person. Every Sunday from 7:30 p.m. to 9 p.m. at Snow Buddha Yoga (13910 Venus Way)

Hapkido/TaeKwonDo — Learn to defend against attack using methods of combat Hapkido and TaeKwonDo. An emphasis is on continuing martial arts education and self defense. Classes designed for the new and continuing martial arts student wanting to improve self-defense skill. Seven week sessions through November 1. Classes

Moving from Surviving to Thriving: Yoga practice for cancer survivors — Yoga Practice is a life style intervention. Yoga can teach us self empowering ways to meet and live with the cancer reality; help us release tension so our bodies really “feel”, when we are stressed we can make decisions about our activities and our

ONGOING Alaska Outdoors Weekly Hiking — Alaska Outdoors hosts year-round outing events every Monday and Thursday throughout the Anchorage area. Monday outings are for beginners and families. Thursday outings are more challenging. Meeting location changes every week. Please check location often. Check locations online at www. alaska-outdoors.org

attitudes that can change our relationship to our cancer experience. Saturdays 11 a.m. at the Alaska Club East (5201 E. Tudor Rd.) Water Aerobics Class — Community water aerobics class with certified instructors in salt water pool every Monday, Wednesday, Friday all year round. 10-class punch card $45 or $5 for a single class. Class from 12 p.m. to 1 p.m. in the APU Moseley Sports Center (4101 University Dr) Fencing Classes— Did you see fencing during the Olympics? Fencing Center of Alaska has a class for you. Learn how to move and think like a fencer and see how those skills apply through out your life. You will learn history, technique and strategy with an Olympic fencer. Join a class today. Classes are available for fencers age 6 years old and up (we really mean “and up”). If you think you are out of shape or too old, think again. Fencing is a life long sport you can start at any age. Phone: (907) 771-5963. Fencing Center of Alaska (2603 Barrow St.) Kripalu Yoga — Kripalu Yoga, for beginning to intermediate levels of practice, is a meditative style of yoga which includes classical postures, breathing techniques, meditation, and relaxation to open the heart and promote harmony, strength and flexibility in body,

mind, and spirit. Bring two blankets and wear loose, comfortable clothing. Tuesdays through October, from 6 to 7:15 p.m. at the Fairview Recreation Center (1121 E. 10th) Moving Meditation— Experience QiGong, Meditation & Tai Chi for health, healing and spiritual wellness. Beginners welcome. Saturdays and Sundays 9-10 a.m. More info at www.touchoftao.com. Oriental Healing Arts Center (2636 Spenard Rd.) OFF THE CHAIN OPEN SHOP HOURS— Open shop hours at Off the Chain bike collective are every week on Sundays and Wednesdays from 3 to 7 p.m. Come into the shop to work on your bike, learn about how to work on their bike, donate bikes/bike parts, and get involved with volunteering at OTC. Off The Chain Bike Collective (814 W Northern Lights Blvd.) Taichi for Seniors— Improves lower body and leg strength, helps with arthritis, dementia and senility, Improves balance, stability, and flexibility, Relieves physical effects of stress, Promotes a good nights rest, Low impact— minimal pressure on bones and joints. No experience needed, may start any time, beginners welcome. 10:30 to 11:30 a.m. at Oriental Healing Arts Center (2636 Spenard Rd.) More information at www.touchoftao.com.

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March 28 - April 3, 2013

Heart of Anchorage Award Nominees! March 30th 5-7pm

ConocoPhillips Atrium

Congratulations to all Heart of Anchorage Award Nomiees! Celebrate the Heart of Anchorage Awards with us on March 30th as we recognize businesses, organizations and individuals whose outstanding contributions make downtown Anchorage the Heart of the City! Below are the 2013 Heart of Anchorage Award Nominees. More information: www.anchoragedowntown.org

Dena’ina Award

George M. Sullivan Award

Team or group for outstanding leadership, professional excellence and contributions

Manager who demonstrates strong leadership qualities and works well with a team

For profit: Alaska Channel Team – Alaska App G Street Fox & Friends– Salmon Daze event Jana Hayenga & Katie Sevigny – Weekend Warriors Thompson & Co. Public Relations – Bike to Work Day NANA Development Corp. Building Project Team – Mark Pfeffer,

For profit: Cheryl Jefford – Once in a Blue Moose/WESTCO Maggie Kelly – Royal Celebrity Tours Jana Latham – Arctic Rose Gallery & Art Center Sydney Mitchell – ShuzyQ Lindsay Williams – Midnight Sun Café

Bristol Bay Native Corp., Pfeffer Development, NANA Development Corp., Criterion General, kpb architects

Not for profit: Anchorage Opera Team – Anchorage Opera Covenant House Youth Engagement Team Project Team –Cook Inlet Housing Authority Project Management, Davis Constructors & Engineers, RIM Architects and RIM Design

Scarlet Kittylee Bourdeaux, Frank Hardy & Jamie Lang – Cyrano’s Theatre Company

Chugach Mountain Award

Employee - outstanding customer service skills and professional excellence For profit: Jenny Duax – Coca Cola Brandon Krous – Midnight Sun Cafe

Not for profit: Laura Caperton – Fraternal Order of Alaska State Troopers (FOAST) Jason Hodges –Anchorage Concert Association

Ship Creek Landing Award

Entrepreneur starting a new business in the last 3 years in downtown

Brown Bag Sandwich Company – Antoine & Brynn McLeod G Street Fox – Romney Dodd Mabel McKinley – Sarah Dahlstrom & Deela Roe Motive 8 Health Studio – Dr. Allison Hill Shalem Photography – Shalem Mathew

Captain James Cook Award

Business with an outstanding new or remodel design & construction for exterior facade and/or interior improvements in last three years in downtown

Not for profit: David Carey – EasyPark Paul Farnsworth – Alaska Railroad Corp. Mary Gibson – RurAL CAP Kate Schwarzer – Anchorage Opera

Large Project: Credit Union 1 Downtown Branch– Credit Union 1, RIM Architects Downtown Soup Kitchen – Downtown Soup Kitchen, Nvision Architecture, Kiewit Corp

NANA Development Corporation Building – Mark Pfeffer, Bristol

Spirit of Alaska Award

Volunteer(s) demonstrating exceptional efforts in support of a downtown business or organization For profit: Anchorage Police Department Employee Association Dianne Tydings – Dianne’s Restaurant Not for profit: Bob Flint – Holy Family Cathedral Dale Kaercher – zAKs Boardroom Nunaka Valley Community Patrol Eddie Parker – The Venue Suellyn Wright-Novak – Alaska Veterans Museum

Bay Native Corp., Pfeffer Development, NANA Development Corp., Criterion General, kpb architects Solar Building – Steve Zelener, Mayer Sattler-Smith LLC, Renewable Energy Systems

Small Project: Alaska Fresh Seafood /Bubbly Mermaid Oyster Bar – Apollo Naff

Bear Square – Buzz & Mary Rohlfing Brent Prop Inn & Hostel Downtown – Ben Swenson Fur Rondy Shop & Caffe D’arte – Greater Anchorage Inc. & Lori Brewer

Indigo Tea Room – Nick Coltman

Congratulations to all the Heart of Anchorage award recipients. We appreciate your hard work and dedication to our community. March 28 - April 3, 2013

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food

Sugar, by any other name When it comes to health, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t toss the apples out with the high-fructose corn syrup By Ash Adams

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fter the wave of the Atkins Diet (which, it seems, has passed for the most part), the word â&#x20AC;&#x153;sugarâ&#x20AC;? was on the tongues and off the plates of everyone trying to shed a pound. Our culture as a whole, struggling fiercely with epidemics of obesity and Type 2 diabetes, has become afraid of that little sweet something while still consuming it in mass quantities. Everyone has been damning sugar and sugar products, while sipping sugar-free colas and watching The Biggest Loser. The anti-sugar movement isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t all wrong. The overconsumption of sugar and sugary products is linked to many unsavory conditions, including Type 2 diabetes and weight gain. The problem is that not all sugar is the sameâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;where it comes from and what happens to it before it reaches your plate means a lot nutritionally, and because the way we as a processed-foodcrazed culture eat is so complex, there is a lot of room for variation in nutrition. I will never forget the time an Atkins-follower looked at me across the table and said, in a conversation of fruit versus sugar products, that â&#x20AC;&#x153;sugar is sugarâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;all of it is the same.â&#x20AC;? This individual is highly educated and intelligent, and yet the argument was so misguided that I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even attempt to correct it. Let me correct it now. Sucrose, found in honey and your everyday refined table sugar, is sourced from sugar cane and sugar beets. That sounds like it might not be all that bad for you, but it can beâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;especially if consumed to excess. This is what most people think of when they say â&#x20AC;&#x153;sugar,â&#x20AC;? but not what they actually mean. Sucrose is a disaccharide composed of two single sugars, fructose and glucose. Fructose is the sugar abundant in fruits. Glucose is one of the bodyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s main energy sources and abundant in the human body; during digestion, our body breaks down the carbohydrates we eat into glucose. When we talk about â&#x20AC;&#x153;sugarâ&#x20AC;? in that diet-damning way, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re usually not being that specific. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re talking generally about sweet things and how these can contribute to poor nutrition. And not â&#x20AC;&#x153;naturallyâ&#x20AC;? (this word is dangerous, as youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll see) sweet things like whole fruits. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re talking about the artificial processed stuffâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;sodas, candy, and even foods marketed as â&#x20AC;&#x153;healthâ&#x20AC;? products that have added sugars. These added sugars sometimes come in the form of sucroseâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;cane sugar, for instanceâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;but most often, they come in the form of those ubiquitous corn sweeteners. You know what Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m talking aboutâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;that other phrase thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been on everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tongue: high-fructose corn syrup. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s important to know why processed foods contain ingredients like high-fructose corn syrup. Manufacturers use high-fructose corn syrup for the same reason they use artificial ingredients in processed foods: they are cheaper. They are manufactured to save money and make transportation easier. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s it. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m going to pause here just to say that doing things that are cheaper when it comes to your health usually doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t pay off. You would most likely never try to find the lowest rate for a brain surgery or heart transplant. What you feed your body is one of the ways that you have daily control over your personal health.

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Consistently taking the cheap-and-easy way nutritionally in our society has been costing us billions in healthcare every year. High-fructose corn syrup has been publicized in study after study for being bad for health, contributing to the rise in Type 2 diabetes, obesity, and other complications. Its name is deceiving; after all, it sounds so naturalâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;fructose, the fruit sugar, and corn. So what is it? High-fructose corn syrup starts out as cornstarch, which is a complicated carbohydrate made up of many glucose sugar chains. Chemists then treat these chains with enzymes that break the chains into smaller and smaller pieces until it becomes corn syrup, or mostly glucose and tiny starches. As you can imagine or already know, corn syrup is not as sweet as sucrose, and so chemists come into the picture again and add more enzymes to change some of the corn syrupâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s glucose into fructose. Then, they continue to treat the product until it is 55 percent fructose, or in other words, super sweet. Studies like the one published in January in the Journal of ket. Raw the American Medical Association (which have found that fruc- honey contains tose behaves differently in the body and brain than glucose) have flavonoids, powerful antioxisuggested that high-fructose corn syrup may be a contributing dants that are important to health, as well as phyfactor to illness because of its high fructose content. Accord- tonutrients and enzymes that are destroyed by high-heat proing to the study, fructose is cessing and pasturization. A study published in The Journal of metabolized in such a way Medicinal Food in 2004 found that raw, natural honey lowered that prompts the body to se- blood sugar, inflammation, and homocysteine in healthy and crete less insulin than glucose, diabetic subjects. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rightâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a healthy sugar. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a whole, prompts a spike in the activ- real food. That stuff in the bear canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t compete with that, but it ity of the hypothalamus and can compete on price. Buying the honey in the bear is less than doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t reduce the amount a third of the price of the unpasteurized stuff. Then, lastly, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the matter of fruit itself. Was my friend of hunger-signaling ghrelin. What happens is that people right? Is the sugar in raw fruit and the sugar in soda the same? Not at all. Fruits are, yes, largely carbohydrates, as are nearly consuming fructose-saturated products are always hun- all plant-based foods. But what comes with these truly natural gry and, as a result, eating sugars is protective fiber, phytonutrients, vitamins, and minermore calories without feel- als. Fruits are not considered â&#x20AC;&#x153;empty calories,â&#x20AC;? like those youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll ing them, at least right away. find in processed products, which means that they have benefits Another study, published in in addition to calories. Also, the detrimental effects of refined 2009 in the Journal of Clinical sugarsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;namely, blood spikes and insulin resistanceâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t an Investigation, found that con- issue with fruits in the same way. Jennie Brand-Miller, Ph.D., an expert on the glycemic index, suming too much fructose increased the risk of heart explained recently in an article in Environmental Nutrition that disease and diabetes. After a â&#x20AC;&#x153;A gram of sugar in an apple might not behave exactly the same 12-week trial, those who con- as a gram of sugar in a jelly bean. The jelly bean will be absorbed sumed fructose-sweetened faster and elicit a higher insulin response which suppresses fat beverages had less sensitivity to insulin, as well as unhealthy oxidation and maybe, over the longer term, encourages weight liver function and fat deposits, and more visceral fat (the scary gain. The gram of sugar in the apple might also be more satiating than the gram in the jelly bean and suppress hunger for a longer kind). period, encouraging better weight control.â&#x20AC;? So: no, friend. Sugar is not just sugar these days, and like with here are so many more studies like thisâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;ones that say that too much fructose is a bad thing. The food industry and its most things, we are paying the price for convenience. Processed marketing tactics can get ugly, though. You can avoid high- foods are convenientâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;for the manufacturer and the consumerâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; fructose corn syrup pretty easily if you generally avoid processed which is why theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re still around after decades of studies telling us that theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re bad for us. We canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t entirely detach ourselves foods and sodas. But then there are all of those â&#x20AC;&#x153;healthyâ&#x20AC;? foods that are supposedly prepared with â&#x20AC;&#x153;100%â&#x20AC;? juice, which really are from sugar, and why would we want toâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what we live on, and just filled with fruit concentrates. In What to Eat, Marion Nes- we crave it from day one. If you are a parent and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve ever tle discusses the Snapple Fruit Punch made for New York City taken a swig of breastmilk just to see, you know that we, as huSchools, prepared with six fruits concentrates, vitamins, and no mans, have sweet teeth from birth. It attracts us, which is why those brightly colored fruits attract us. How weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve lost connecâ&#x20AC;&#x153;addedâ&#x20AC;? sugars. To make â&#x20AC;&#x153;â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;juicedâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; food products, food chemists process fruit tion to that natural instinct and turned it into something so unjuice until it is basically fruit-flavored sugar, and then reconsti- healthy is sad to think about. How weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve started to see that bowl tute it,â&#x20AC;? Nestle writes. â&#x20AC;&#x153;â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Fruit concentrate,â&#x20AC;&#x2122; according to the U.S. of fruit as equivalent to that can of soda is enragingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;marketing is powerful. Dietary Guidelines, is a euphemism for sugars.â&#x20AC;? This is where the word â&#x20AC;&#x153;natural,â&#x20AC;? just like the word â&#x20AC;&#x153;sugar,â&#x20AC;? becomes a problem. Both can mean very different things, if we or a marketing campaign want them to. Honey, for example, is another sweetener thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s frequently touted for its healing properties. Bees make it, so it has to be good for us, right? Actually, raw, unfiltered, unpasteurized honey is very different than the stuff you buy in the little bear at the mar-

We canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t entirely detach ourselves from sugar, and why would we want to?

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Brew Review

Coming soon to a Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s near you Downtown alehouse to convert gift shop for pizza, billiards and beer By James â&#x20AC;&#x153;Dr. Fermentoâ&#x20AC;? Roberts

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umpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Great Alaskan Alehouse is an institution here in Anchorage and has garnered global recognition for showcasing excellent local, regional, national and international beers. For the longest time, Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s was also recognized for having the most beer on tap under one roof, boasting upwards of 55 beers. But Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s stature is more than just that. I personally credit Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s with busting open the dreary downtown corridor by taking a risk and establishing the alehouse on Sixth Avenue in 1994, a time when just a handful of lower class, often sleazy bars were situated on the outskirts of the core of the downtown area. Serious craft beer lovers drank elsewhere, chasing what little Anchorage had to offer back then. Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s demonstrated that a higher end pub would work and the risk quickly paid off. Other establishments soon followed. I heard of Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s while chasing good beer at another establishment. I spent a lot of time in what used to be Harryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in the Key Bank Building on Northern Lights Boulevard. A barkeep there, Jim Maurer, confided in me that he and a friend of his, Billy Opinsky, were going to open a real alehouse with a real focus on beer downtown. I remember going there at night after work and helping out here and there, just because I was so excited about such a prospect. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m proud to say that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s my dollar framed and hanging on the wall, as I was Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s very first customer. Nineteen years later, Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s still proudly serves excellent beer accompanied by reasonably priced pub grub in a laid-back atmosphere that can get quite boisterous on weekend nights. And, Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s has grown by leaps and bounds. Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s occupied what was the original municipal print shop, but was connected to the entire building which included, way back then, an Italian joint called Luceroâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s on F Street and Stephanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Fine Art on Sixth. Years ago, Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s took over Luceroâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and turned it into the SubZero Bistro and Microlounge, and those that were around during those days will remember the blue-water and bubble filled windows facing the street and the frozen river down the long bar. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all changed, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s proof that the Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s empire kept moving forward. The original gift shop at Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s was called the Duck Hut and was no bigger than a broom closet. T-shirts, mugs and other paraphernalia were sold out of the booth, which was only manned when someone indicated they wanted something. It was situated facing the Alaska Center for the Performing Arts across the street on Sixth and was actually situated in the entryway of Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s deemed this too small and eventually took over the part of the building to the east, which used to house Stephan Fine Arts. A few years ago, Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s crossed the ocean and opened Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Big Island Alehouse in Kona, Hawaii. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve never been

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I would have killed for a place to duck in at lunch, get a slice of pizza and knock back some balls.â&#x20AC;?

to the new place, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s on my bucket list. In 2010, in another bold move, Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s established a small bar in Concourse B of the Anchorage International Airport. Located behind security, the only way one can visit the place is with a ticket to somewhere else or as an arriving passenger in Anchorageâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s busiest commercial travel hub. There are about a dozen taps, featuring local stuff that outgoing folks are familiar with and incoming folks find as new discoveries.

F

ast forward to today. Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s latest move has been to gut the gift shop that occupied Stephanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and turn it into Flat Top Pizza and Billiards. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We had our T-shirt shop running in there,â&#x20AC;? says owner Billy Opinksy. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I thoughtâ&#x20AC;ŚTshirts? Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not what we do.â&#x20AC;? He got to looking around at all the beautiful window space facing the corner of Sixth and F Street, where the gift shop was situated. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got nice corner windows with a better view than both Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and SubZero combined and weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re wasting than on merchandise.â&#x20AC;? Opinskyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s past has a little bit to do with the installation of a somewhat billiard-style arrangement, with pizza, beer and pool. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I worked downtown my entire life, since I was 13,â&#x20AC;? says Opinsky. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s is opening a new eatery next door to its original location on Sixth Avenue. would have killed for a place to duck in at lunch, get a slice of pizza and knock back some intends to start with about nine or so draft lines, with the ability balls,â&#x20AC;? he says. to expand to beyond 30 if business and beer demand warrants Opinsky says Flat Top will be â&#x20AC;&#x153;a place where the nearby suits it. And, although details are sketchy, Opinskyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in the process of can get up and go somewhere for something to eat, stand up and approving a special house beer just for Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and especially move around a bit rather than just sit at a restaurant table.â&#x20AC;? Flat Top. In fact, the proposed name is Flat Top Pale Ale. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t expect your typical coin-operated pool tables either; So, when can you expect to duck in and knock back a slice, a Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s will offer much higher end tables with a â&#x20AC;&#x153;rentalâ&#x20AC;? ar- pint and a few balls? Right now massive remodeling is taking rangement thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s typical elsewhere. place in what Opinsky is calling the â&#x20AC;&#x153;build out stage.â&#x20AC;? The equipThe new Flat Top will be a bigger building than both Stephan ment, pool tables and everything else is on order. Fine Arts and Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gift shop were. Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s is tearing down â&#x20AC;&#x153;Our target date is May 1,â&#x20AC;? says Opinsky. Initially the place will the current offices, which were situated in the middle of the be open late in the afternoon and into the evening as everything building behind the gift shop. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll basically be from the old gets situated and Opinsky can ensure that patrons are getting front door of the gift shop, all the way around the corner to share the best of the best. Eventually, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll expand into a lunch operathe entrance with SubZero on F Street.â&#x20AC;? tion as well. A grand opening will be announced closer to the Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s has been rather loosely in the pizza business for a opening date. long time, having kept the original Luceroâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pizza oven. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s is once again bulging at the seams, and I just wanted been doing pizzas even before Glacier Brewhouse or Mooseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s you to get caught up in the excitement as much as I am. Tooth,â&#x20AC;? said Opinsky, in reference to the personal-sized pizzas at Humpyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re experimenting with our dough recipe right james.roberts@gci.net now and tweaking the various pies.â&#x20AC;? At Flat Top, there will be a New York style pizza offering for both dine in and carry out from the new joint. For beer, Opinsky

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Anchorage Press dining guide offers selective listings of recommendations, Press Picks winners and advertisers on a space available basis. Food events, festivals, and listing updates from diligent readers and restaurateurs are encouraged. Email editor@anchoragepress.com or fax 907-561-7777.

BREAKFAST Alaska Bagel Restaurantâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Full breakfast and lunch menu offering a variety of bagel sandwiches, omelettes, soups and salads. We bake over 25 different varieties of fresh bagels everyday. All natural ingredients with no bleached flour and no trans-fats. Espresso bar and shakes available. Wi-fi hot spot. Dine-in, carry-out or delivery! 113 W. Northern Lights Blvd. #L 276-3900 alaskabagel.com Snow City Cafeâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Vegetarianfriendly offering a full breakfast menu all day, in addition to a variety of fresh baked goodies, gourmet soups, pastas, sandwiches and salads for lunch.1034 W. 4th Ave. and L St., 272-CITY (2489). Open 7 a.m.-4 p.m. daily. Leroyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Family Restaurant. Open 7 days a week, 24 hours a day. Full breakfast served all day. Lunch & Dinner includes sandwiches, hamburgers, steak and daily specials. 2420 C St., Corner of C St. and Fireweed 277-6162.

BURGERS Arctic Roadrunnerâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Kodiak Islander Burger features all the usual toppings, plus green pepper, bologna, salami, ham, two kinds of cheese and an onion ring. They also have specialty sandwiches, onion rings and thick shakes. 2477 Arctic Blvd., 279-7311, Mon.-Fri., 10:30 a.m.-8 p.m.; Sat., 11 a.m.-7 p.m.; 5300 Old Seward Hwy., 561-1245 Mon.Sat., 10:30 a.m.-9 p.m. Straight Out Of Phillyâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; With more varieties of Philly Steak sandwiches than you can imagine, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve gotta have the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bossâ&#x20AC;? Philly. Boasting the best chicken wings in town, try their different flavors. Also serving burgers and salads. Delivery available 210 E. Fireweed Lane, 569-1515; straightoutofphilly.com Tommyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Burger Stop â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Perfect burgers with toasted buns, juicy beef, freshly chopped lettuce and tomatoes, and just the right amount of mayo. Or opt for bacon, jalapenos, pepperoncinis, sweet bell peppers, or pepperjack cheese. Other sandwiches include the Hot Wing Philly and Philly Cheese Steak. 1106 W. 29th place, 561-5696. Mon.-Fri., 10:30 a.m.-8 p.m.; Sat., 11 a.m.-8 p.m.; Sun. noon-4 p.m.

CAFES, DINERS & DELIS Coffee Landâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Coffee Land is a great place to enjoy freshly baked pastries from scratch and indulging in mouthwatering homemade soups made with the freshest ingredients. Also serving crispy salads, grilled Paniniâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s or health wraps, gourmet ciabatta sandwiches. Waffles, crepes, quiche available all day. Full espresso bar. Free Wi-Fi. Sunday special is Russian cuisine at the Spenard location. Enjoy a loose-leaf special blend tea from a real old Russian Samovar to wash down a tasty meal. 4505 Spenard Rd. 2430303 510 L Street 243-0301 www. coffeelandak.com COSMIC CAFĂ&#x2030;â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Charming neighborhood cafĂŠ serves health oriented

sandwiches, soups, salads and muffins. Smoothies like the Mango Tango or Cosmic Berry are sure to delight or you can make your own. Espresso bar, tea, and Acai berry bowls. 701 W. 36th. Mon-Fri 9a-8p, Sat & Sun 10-6. Dianneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;sâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t beat homemade bread, and Dianneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s serves it up thick on sandwiches with soup, salads and lots of low-fat, healthy options. Delivery and business lunch catering available. Hours: Mon.-Fri., 7 a.m.-4 p.m. 550 W. 7th Ave., Ste. 110, 279-7243 www.diannesrestaurant.com Middle Way Cafeâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; This is the place to go if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re seeking healthy soup, sandwiches or salads. Swing in to grab a latte and pastry (vegan and â&#x20AC;&#x153;alternativeâ&#x20AC;? flavors are available) for the road, or take a seat at one of their bistro-style tables and enjoy a sophisticated sandwich amid their cozy, artsy dĂŠcor. 1200 W. Northern Lights Blvd., 272-6433. Mon.-Fri., 7 a.m.-6:30 p.m.; Sat & Sun. 8 a.m.-5 p.m. Organic Oasis Health Foods and Juice Bar - Organic Oasis Celebrates 15 years in Spenard with all organic beef, chicken and lamb. Only full service juice bar in town. They make all bread, dressings and sauces daily. Open 7 days a week with music on some of the nights. Organicoasis.com for menu and event schedule. 2610 Spenard Rd., 277-7882 Mon.-Thurs. 11 a.m.-9 p.m., Fri. & Sat. 11 a.m.-10 p.m., Sun. 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Spenard Roadhouseâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; The roadhouse is a restaurant and bar, serving contemporary comfort food in a casual, eclectic setting. They welcome family and friends to a neighborhood gathering place to enjoy amazing food, local beers on draft, flights of small batch bourbons, among other delights! Mon. thru Fri. 11 a.m.-11 p.m., Sat & Sun. 9 a.m.11 p.m., 1049 W. Northern Lights 770-ROAD (7623) Table 6â&#x20AC;&#x201C; â&#x20AC;&#x153;Where friends and family meet.â&#x20AC;? Casual comfort food in an upbeat setting. Everything made in-house with a full liquor bar. Mon.Sun. 11 a.m. to 11 p.m. 3210 Denali St., #8, 562-6000 Terra Bella Bakery CafĂŠâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; offers organic, Alaska-roasted coffee by K Bay, as well as organic teas you wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t find anywhere else. Soups made from scratch, and gourmet sandwiches and salads made to order. Enjoy their upscale atmosphere, complete with gas fireplaces, leather couches, and a rotating art gallery, free wi-fi too. 601 E Dimond Blvd (next to Bed, Bath & Beyond), 562.2259 Breakfasts M-F 8:30 a.m.-3 p.m. daily/Lunch 11 a.m.-3 p.m. daily/Breakfast Sat & Sun 9 a.m.-1 p.m. 562-2259. Pepperciniâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;sâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Scrumptious deli poâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;boys and sandwiches, salads and freshly prepared soups. 3901 Old Seward Hwy., 279-3354.University Center Mall hours.

CHINESE China Lightsâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Alaskaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s #1 Best Buffet. The 2008 Award Winner of the Top 100 Asian Restaurantsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; in the USA. Anchorage location serves award winning buffet 7 days a week: includes all you can eat sushi, salad bar, and dessert bar. Eagle River location serves lunch buffet 7 days a week. Both locations offer full menu ordering. Carry out and delivery service available. Anchorage: (522-5888) 9220 Old Seward Hwy 11a.m.-10 p.m. Eagle River: (694-8080) 12110 Business Blvd Sun-Thurs 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Fri and

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BEST BAKERY PRESS PICKS 2009 & 2011 BEST DESSERT ANCHORAGE OPERA GALA 2010 WINNER 2010 & 2011 DREAM WEDDING CAKE CHALLENGE

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Sat 11a.m.-10:30 p.m. Fu-Doâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Hello honey! This friendly, authentic-looking Chinese restaurant offers all your favorites in a warm atmosphere. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s beer and wine, and a candy dish too. 2600 E. Tudor Rd., 561-6611. Tues.-Sun., 11 a.m.10 p.m.; closed Mon. Pandaâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; A huge menu of authentic Mandarin, Cantonese and Szechwan cuisine. Lunch and dinner specials and free delivery. Try one of their fourteen soups or munch on an order of Fried Curry Wings. 605 E. Northern Lights blvd., 272-3308. Mon.-Sat. 11 a.m.-midnight; Sun. 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Imperial Palaceâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Under new ownership. Best Chinese Chef in town. Delicious Chinese cuisine served fresh and fast. Customers say,â&#x20AC;? We have the Best Mongolian Beef in town!â&#x20AC;? Dine in or take out. Delivery available with a $17 minimum order. Phone 274-9167 400 Sitka St. Anchorage, AK 99501 Hours: Mon thru Thu 11 a.m.â&#x20AC;&#x201C;10 p.m.; Fri 11 a.m.-11 p.m.; Sat 12 a.m. - 11p.m.; Closed Sundays

COFFEEHOUSES & BAKERIES Indigo Tea Loungeâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Offering a wide variety of loose leaf teas to enjoy in our cafe, on the go or in your own home. Also providing a full espresso bar, baked goods, soups and free wi-fi. 221 E. 5th Ave. 222-1619. Open 7 days a week. Mon.-Wed. 9 a.m.-6 p.m., Thu.-Fri. 9 a.m. to 7 p.m., Sat.-Sun. 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Great Harvest Bread Companyâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Famous for their whole grain bread, free slices, enormous cookies, cinnamon rolls, and muffins. Bread varieties change daily and range from Honey Whole Wheat to Wholegrain Rustic to High Five Fiber. Great Harvest Bread Company also offers sandwiches on their fresh bread. Located at 570 E. Benson Blvd 274-3331. Open Mon.-Sat., 7 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sandwiches available Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-3:00 p.m. Superstar Pastry Designâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Corner of Benson & Minnesota 336-STAR(7827). Fabulous scratchmade designer cakes, pastries and brownies, along with a fantastic cupcake bar. Drive thru espresso window open 6 a.m.-6 p.m. Order early for specialty and wedding cakes.

FINE DINING Club Parisâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Housed in one of downtownâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s oldest buildings, this is old-school fine dining all the way. Try the four-inch-thick filet mignon or the special filet mignon burger for lunch. 417 W. 5th Ave., 277-6332. Mon.-Sat., 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. Sun.-Thurs., 5-10 p.m.; Fri. and Sat., 5-11 p.m. Haute Quarter Grillâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;A dinner menu that features tons of seafood, including Alaska favorites and Ahi tuna, plus other American cuisine. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve even got some meals especially for the kids that are easy on the wallet. Hours: Dinner, 5-9 p.m. 11221 Old Glenn Hwy., Eagle River 622-4745, www.hautequartergrill. com Jensâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Restaurantâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; The everchanging dinner menu features unique soups, salads and appetizers, plus classic Danish dishes and American favorites. The lunch menu also has a good mix, offering veal and pork meatballs with red cabbage or Copper River king salmon, among others. 701 W. 36th Ave., 561-5367,

Mon., 11:30 a.m.-2 p.m.; Tues.-Sat., 11:30 a.m.-midnight. Kincaid GrilLâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Offering dishes such as Kodiak scallops Nicoise, Alaskan seafood cioppino, roasted duck breast and pork chops, steaks and more. Or for a lighter fare, sample the gorgonzola fondue, forest mushroom soup or beet salad. Classic desserts and wines will top things off. 6700 Jewel Lake Rd., 243-0507. Tues.-Sat., 5-10 p.m. Kinleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Restaurant and Barâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Casual fine dining at its best! The eclectic lunch and dinner menus are similar, with sandwiches offered mid-day only and entrees scaled up in the evenings. Sample their bacon wrapped dates, calamari steak, lobster ravioli, or almond crusted halibut. Draught beers and great wine. 3230 Seward Hwy, 644-8953. Hours: Dinner Mon-Sat 5-10p, Lunch TuesFri 11:30a-5p. Closed Sun. ORSOâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; â&#x20AC;&#x153;the place to beâ&#x20AC;? - Happy Hour daily from 3 PM to 6 PM and 9 PM to close in the bar at ORSO featuring half priced appetizers, beer, wine and outstanding specialty cocktails. Enjoy our new lunch, bar and dinner menus featuring our wonderful flatbreads and a wide selection of â&#x20AC;&#x153;from our watersâ&#x20AC;?. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t forget about our weekend brunch from 11am to 3pm with favorites such as Blueberry Stuffed French Toast or our take on the Classic Eggs Benedict (we use crab cakes instead of English muffins). 222-3232 or orsoalaska.com - Lunch M-F 11:30 AM - 5:00 PM Weekend Brunch 11am - 3 PM - Dinner Sun-Thurs 5 PM - 9:30 PM, Friday & Saturday 5 PM - 11 PM. PIZZA OLYMPIA- For homemade Greek and Italian dinners, subs, gyros, mouthwatering Greek salads, plus much more. All sauces, dressings and pizza dough made fresh daily form their own Greek family recipes. For deliveries call 5615264. Open 11a.m.-11p.m. Mon. thru Fri. 3p.m. -11p.m. Sat. Closed Sunday. 2809 Spenard Rd. Across from REI. Sackâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s CafĂŠ- Upscale, chic with a sophisticated menu that is sure to delight. Fabulous tomato/gorgonzola cheese soup and mouthwatering gourmet desserts. Perfect for any occasion. 328 G Street 274-4022. Lunch Mon-Thurs 11-2:30p, Dinner Sun - Thurs 5-9:30pm, Fri & Sat 5-10pm, Brunch Sat 11a-3p, Sun 10a-3p. Villa Novaâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; A laid-back, high-end, mostly European but specifically Italian restaurant. Very popular and busy, but with solid, friendly service. Pastas, chicken, beef, seafood & vegetarian dishes. Extensive wine list, hand-crafted desserts. 5121 Arctic Blvd., 561-1660. Tues.-Sat., 5-10 p.m.-ish.

ITALIAN Little Italyâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Lots of appetizers await you including Calamarakia Sto Tigani (baby squid in olive oil) and shrimp & scallopes with fresh spinach. Palate cleanser-sized salads with homemade dressings the Italian-Greek influence prevades this great restaurant. 2300 E. 88th Ave., 561-0424. 11 a.m.-9 p.m. Romanoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;sâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Upscale atmosphere with a full Italian menu. Top-notch service, fancy dĂŠcor, and fresh food. 2415 C St., 276-0888. Sun.-Thurs., 4-10 p.m.; Fri. and Sat., 4-11 p.m.

Liquor License Transfer Notice

Liquor License Transfer Notice

Dan K. Coffey, d/b/a Dan K. Coffey located at no premises is applying for transfer of a AS 04.11.090 Beverage Dispensary liquor license to The Wedge Corp d/b/a The Rock Wood Fired Pizza and Spirits located at 3401 Penland Parkway, Anchorage, AK 99508. Interested persons should submit written comment or objection to their local governing body, the applicant, The Law Offices of Ernouf & Coffey, P.C. at 3606 Rhone Circle, Suite 110, Anchorage, AK 99508, and to the Alcoholic Beverage Control Board at 2400 Viking Drive, Anchorage, AK 99501.

William Lo, d/b/a Chaing Mai Ultimate Thai located at 3637 Old Seward Hwy Anchorage, AK is applying for transfer of a Restaurant Eating Place License 04.11.100 liquor license to John J Goodsell, d/b/a Turnagain Arm Pit. Interested persons should submit written comment to their local governing body, the applicant, and to the Alcoholic Beverage Control Board located at 2400 Viking Drive, Anchorage, AK 99501.

March 28 - April 3, 2013

DININGGUIDE>>

Pizza OlymPia â&#x20AC;&#x201D;since 1984â&#x20AC;&#x201D;

JAPANESE Damiâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Come dine with us at the most popular sushi bar in town for the newest fusion rolls and specials of the day. We take pride in serving the best and freshest ingredients for our entire menu. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t let the competition fool you; we are the true sushi restaurant located in the heart of downtown. Take out and catering available. 605 E. 5th Ave, 274-5211. Mon.-Thurs. 11 a.m.-10 p.m., Fri. 11 a.m.-11 p.m., Sat. 12 p.m.-11 p.m., Sun. 12 p.m.-10 p.m.

mixed grill, tempura, bento, sushi and sashimi. 209 E. Dimond Blvd., 272-8888 Mon.-Sat., 11 a.m.-3 p.m. & 4-10 p.m. Silk Sushi Bar â&#x20AC;&#x201D; A chic restaurant offering a variety of cuisine. Come experience new flavors of Japanese, Korean, Thai, Chinese and Classic American dishes. Silk also offers a variety of wines, beers, ciders and sake to compliment your dish. Come Savor the Flavors at Silk. 907 274 5236 500 E Benson Blvd. Ste 114, www.silkak.com

Dish Sushi Barâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; A contemporary and upbeat spin on the classic sushi bar and Japanese restaurant. Our sushi is served immediately from the sushi bar to ensure quality and freshness. Our menu also presents some of the most creative Asian inspired dishes by the most talented chefs in Alaska. Our sake house menu features infused sake cocktails, imported sakes from Japan, wines, imported and locally brewed beers. Delicious desserts such as Oreo Tempura and Banana Spring Rolls to complete your meal. Great atmosphere for any occasion. Voted best Sushi and Japanese in Press Picks 2009 and ADN â&#x20AC;&#x153;Best of Alaskaâ&#x20AC;? Platinum Award for Best Sushi! 639 W. International Airport Rd. (907) 562-1275 www.dishsushibar.com.

Sushi Gardenâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Boasting amazing ambiance and a comfortable atmosphere, Sushi Garden offers modern and traditional Asian cuisine, balanced with wine and spirits that defines culinary excellence. Serving Anchorage for over 14 years, our entire restaurant can be reserved to host your next company party or special event. Great place, Awesome food! Open Daily 11 a.m. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 11 p.m. 1120 E. Huffman Rd. (907) 3454686 www.sushigardenak.com

Haru Sushiâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; A new addition to Anchorage, Haru welcomes you in like an old friend! Sushi made to order in the old Pizza Hut location on Dimond, monthly cash drawing to reward their loyal customers 729 E. Dimond 522-4444

MEDITERRANEAN

Jimmyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sushiâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; One of Anchorageâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s newest, convenient little spots to pick up a roll or stop in for a sitdown dinner. Hours: Mon.-Thurs., 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Fri., 11 a.m.-11 p.m.; Sat., noon-11 p.m.; Sun., 1-10 p.m. 301 E. Dimond Blvd., 344-0888 Kansha Japanese Restaurantâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Bright, clean and offering all the standard Japanese fare â&#x20AC;&#x201C; noodles,

Tempura Kitchen- Korean, Japanese and Sushi. They have authentic Korean BBQ tables and many sushi combinations. Their food is naturally healthy. Open Lunch and dinner 7 days a week 3826 Spenard Road 646-1174

Antoniosâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Greek Bakery and CafĂŠâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Located at 3020 Minnesota (in Choi Plaza), Antonios has the best real Greek food in Alaska according to many customers, plus a plethora of just-baked Greek desserts like baklava, galaktoboureko, and various Greek cookies. Fresh bread is served with most entrĂŠes, Arni Fricassee (lamb and greens) is a specialty, as is moussaka, spanakopita and kid-friendly pastisio. A full menu of Greek food available. 6461090. M-Sat 11-9, Sun 1-7.

MEXICAN

OTHER ETHNIC

Carlos Fine Mexican Foodâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Try authentic Mexican fare in this cozy, warm restaurant with a full bar. Take out is also available. 11401 Old Seward Hwy., 349-4112 Mon-Sat 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Sun 4-10 p.m.

El Tangoâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; South American, Latin and Carribean cuisine featuring a wide-ranging, 50-dish menu. Everything from traditional Puerto Rican roasted pork to paellas and salt cod stew, to more beef than you can shake a pig at. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also a full bar with an extensive wine list, too. 4300 Old Seward Hwy., Suite D1, 770-2888, Mon.-Thurs., 11 a.m.2:30, 5-10 p.m.; Fri., 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Sat. and Sun. 1-10 p.m.

Casa del Solâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Featuring all homemade dishes and sauces made from fresh ingredients inspired by the southwest. Seafood Ceviche and our â&#x20AC;&#x153;wetâ&#x20AC;? burritos piled high with the extras. Carry out available. Girdwood, in the Girdwood Town Square 783-0088 Ernestoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Grillâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Lunch and dinner boast homemade recipes from Ernesto like the warm fajita salad or the ranchero plate. Served with pride, this neighborhood diner will delight you. 5121 Arctic Blvd 375-9161 11:00am - till about 9pm, they will serve late if the crowd is there. La Cabanaâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; â&#x20AC;&#x153;BIENVENIDOSâ&#x20AC;? This is your house. In the spirit of hospitality we welcome you to La Cabana, in a atmosphere reflecting all the color of Mexico. Buen Apetito! Hours: Sun., -Thurs., 11 a.m.-10:30 p.m.; Fri., 11 a.m.-11 p.m.; Sat., noon-11 p.m. 312 E. 4th Ave., 2720135 www.alaskalacabana.com La Mexâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; One of Anchorageâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favorites, offering consistently good Mexican food with a few originals of their own in an elegant atmosphere. Two locations: 2550 Spenard Rd., 274-7511, 8330 King St., 3446399. Mon.-Thurs., 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Fri., 11 a.m.-10:30 p.m.; Sat. and Sun., noon-10:30 p.m. Serranoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mexican Grillâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; Cozy neighborhood atmosphere, Serranoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s offers fresh grilled meats and delicious house entrees that are made with your health in mind. For a treat, the fried ice cream is divine. They deliver and can accommodate large groups for catering. Prices will make you smile as well. Open 7 days a week. 640 W. 36th Ave 744-1555.

Quality makes a Difference Best Greek food in town! Open for lunch and dinner We deliver 561-5264

Voted Best Pizza & Greek Food!

Mon.-Fri. 11am to 11pm | Sat. 3pm-11pm | Closed Sundays 2809 Spenard Road | Across from REI

Namaste Shangri-laâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; 2446 E. Tudor 569-3000. Mon-Thurs 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m., 5-8:30pm, Fri-Sat 5-9:30p. Healthy meals, large amount of vegan choices. Recipes from Burma, Nepal, India and Tibet. Quick and healthy box lunches for those in a hurry. Yak & Yeti Himalayan Restaurantâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; 3301 Spenard Rd. Mon-Fri 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m., Thurs-Sat 5pm-8:30pm. 743-8078 Cozy atmosphere featuring dishes from India, Nepal and Tibet. Family owned and operated

CHEESE, SALAMI AND MORE! Stop by for lunch!

2 LOCATIONS! 10950 Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Malley #C Old Seward & Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Malley 277-3773 3701 Spenard Between 36th. & Minnesota 562-3773

PIZZA Coast Pizza and Subsâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; A Girdwood tradition and tourist favorite, Coast offers freshly made pizza and subs in a little corner of the station at the Alyeska and Seward Highway intersection. Mile 90 Seward Hwy., Girdwood, 783-0122 Sun.-Thurs., 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 11 a.m.11 p.m. Mooseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Toothâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Get your chipotle steak or ranch chicken pizza to go or enjoy one in the casual dining area. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got your usual toppings too, but these still arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t your usual pizzas. Top â&#x20AC;&#x2122;em off with the Mooseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tooth Breweryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s delicious brew. 3300 Old Seward Hwy.

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FTU

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Fresh Halibut is back in season, and we do it oh so good.

Advertise in the Anchorage Press and get your business moving! Call 907-561-7737 to begin advertising today!

LUNCH -ON &RI sDINNER Tues-Sat 6-10

Bodega open until Midnight Tuesâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;Sat. OLYMPIC CENTERs701 WEST 36TH AVE

561-JENS (5367)

Korean BBQ &Sushi Table Top Dining

TOFU SOUP

Tempura Kitchen

BULGOGI

646.1174 3826 Spenard Rd.

SUSHI

www.tempurakitchen.com March 28 - April 3, 2013

Modern Japanese Cuisine

8901 Jewel Lake Rd 929-3442 â&#x20AC;˘ fax: 929-3993 Friendly Staff â&#x20AC;˘ Delicious Cuisine www.RonnieSushi.com

Now Open: RONNIE 2 Muldoon! Second Locationâ&#x20AC;˘ in 338-0001 â&#x20AC;˘ fax 338-0002

924 Muldoon Rd (A-frame building)

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Nathan Carey gets ready to play basketball at the Spenard Recreation Center on Wednesday, March 20. Carey had a spinal cord injury while working a summer job in college. He now trains and races in competitive downhill ski and snowboarding events.

Brent Cote, visiting from New Hampshire. Cote, a downhill adaptive skier, said wheelchair access in Alyeska and Girdwood could stand to be improved. “It would be nice if they had a few ramps,” he said.

Rolling in A-Town Wheelchair users dish on the best and worst places in Anchorage and what city planners and businesses can do better By Mary Lochner Photos by Kerry Tasker

B

can drive a car, for example. But one thing is certain: just like everyone else, people who use wheelchairs want to find their place in the community around them. They want to socialize, be around other people, and make the connections that make life meaningful. “People with special needs want to go out,” Noah said. “We do want to contribute. If you don’t make it accessible, it’s not going to happen.” Toward that end, the Press asked wheelchair users about the best and worst places to roll in Anchorage, what makes a place accessible, and what the city, businesses, and community leaders can do to make the city more wheelchair-friendly.

onnie McGrew is a retired sales clerk. Jesse Owens is a professor. Nathan Carey is an athlete. They all have something in common: at some point in their lives, each has lost the ability to walk, and had to adjust to life in a wheelchair. “Emotionally, it does a lot to a person,” said McGrew. When she first started using a wheelchair in 2009, it was a manual chair that she wasn’t strong enough to push. “Not having my freedom, of being able to go places, it was hard on me,” she said. “I had to be dependent on people to get around. It was really hard to deal with.” It was the farther reaches of Alaska’s outdoors that Owens The Good When it comes to wheelchair access, the University of Alaska missed the most. “In my opinion, the ability to get into wilderness and nature Anchorage gets props for being “the most successful university is one of the greatest losses of all, when you become wheelchair- I’ve seen anywhere in the United States,” said Noah, a recent transplant to Alaska. He complimented UAA’s building design bound,” he said. Carey was a running back on a football scholarship in 2008 and layout, and said that those who want to make new or existand was working a summer job when a crate carried on a forklift ing buildings more traversable for people in wheelchairs should fell on him, fracturing one of the lower vertebrae of his spine. look to the university for advice. One bonus: many of the buildHe finished his degree in sports management and marketing, ings are connected by sky bridges, so people in wheelchairs nevbut life in a wheelchair has entailed a radical exploration of the er have to deal with snow, ice or uneven ground outside that may be impassible or difficult to get across. 24-year-old’s vocation. Noah counts the new Regal Cinemas Tikahtnu theater comAll three have adapted: Bonnie worked with Hope Community Resources to get a power wheelchair that she could move plex in Muldoon as another success. “They really thought that building out thoroughly,” he said. on her own. Owens invented devices that allowed him to scale mountains and kayak down rivers. Carey underwent a train- “There’s almost nowhere I can’t get to.” Tikahtnu includes plenty of room around individual handiing program that taught him to ask for help and instruct people how to lift his wheelchair over impediments without injuring capped parking spaces for the use of both side- and backthemselves, in addition to learning new physical skills. Now he’s offloading wheelchair vans, so people can safely get in and out of working to bring his adaptive skiing and snowboarding skills their vehicles. And, there’s plenty of room for a chair to maneu“to the next level”—he races competitively and got his first spon- ver throughout the theater complex. Barnes and Nobles is another big win, Noah said. It’s easy to sor, AK Outerwear, last October. Then there’s Travis Noah. An advocate for the disabled who’s get inside, and once inside, the aisles are wide enough for a perworked with local organizations such as Stone Soup Group and son in a wheelchair to be able to browse the store. Owens said Anchorage overall is fairly accessible compared Hope Community Resources, Noah is a life-long wheelchair user and an old hand at figuring out “what works and what doesn’t to other cities. “It’s been 35 years now I’ve been in a wheelchair,” he said. “I’ve work” when it comes to getting out and about in the community. He’s long since discovered what his limitations and abilities are, seen Anchorage change quite a bit in that time. Anchorage has turned into a pretty good city for wheel chair access, when it and how to make the most of them. comes to building design and curb cuts. Because most of the What’s it like to navigate Anchorage in a wheelchair? “I think you’ll find, just like in most communities, with differ- buildings are new.” Even if an older building doesn’t come equipped with a ramp ent people, you’ll get a diverse set of answers,” Noah said. The answer could depend on a lot of factors: type of disability, to get in, a caring attitude on the part of the staff goes a long income level, proximity to resources, and whether one owns and way, Noah said. At the H&R Block in South Anchorage, there

16

isn’t a ramp, he said. But the staff helped him get in so he could do his taxes. “Personally, I think the most important thing is, are there enough people in this city that are going to help people when they’re getting around?” When it comes to recreation, Owens said, hand cycling on the bike trails is a great option, or kayaking if you want to get deeper into nature. Depending on a person’s disability, he or she may not be able to balance in a kayak, however. For that, Owens invented a portable adaptive device that fits into a kayak seat and stabilizes him when he goes kayaking. He also invented the KiliKart, named for the first place he took it, to the top of Mount Kiliminjaro in 1992 with pal Ethan Berkowitz. The wheelchair is designed for mountain ascents with an able-bodied partner. It’s got a low center of gravity that makes it easier to maneuver, along with front wheels that are easy to steer from the front for a partner pulling the chair over difficult terrain (Unfortunately, he said, the Kili-Kart, which was once sold by the now-defunct Disability Options, Inc., is no longer available for consumers). Carey said he feels he can get anywhere he needs to around Alyeska, where he goes to train for races. In the one place he can’t go—the Sitzmark—two staff members hoist him up the three flights of stairs that are the only entry way, although he admits that’s a little “sketchy” safety-wise.

The Bad But what works for one, doesn’t for another; for example, Carey’s buddy, Brent Cote, another adaptive ski racer who is visiting from New Hampshire, said, “Girdwood is not wheelchair friendly at all.” Unlike Carey, he can’t lift himself in his chair over single steps. The people in Girdwood were nice, he said: they often offered to lift him into a place. “But frankly, that’s a little bit degrading,” he said, adding, “It would be nice if they had a few ramps.” Sometimes an area that looks wheelchair accessible isn’t in practice. Noah said he avoids downtown Anchorage and all the Fred Meyer locations. In both instances, it mostly has to do with whether or not there’s room for him to get in and out of his backloading wheelchair van safely—or at all. In downtown Anchorage, the handicap spaces that are available don’t work with his van, which also doesn’t clear parking garage height restrictions. “Fred Meyer, it’s a chain problem, not Anchorage-specific,” Noah said. “My van has a lift, and it has to be off-loaded at the back. So you offload into the main pull-in road. Can someone see you or not? Are you going to get hit while loading or un-

March 28 - April 3, 2013

Whether a wheelchair user will find Anchorage accessible depends on a lot of factors, including where they are—and what time of year it is.

loading? It’s trying to find a space where my van will fit and I won’t get hit.” McGrew said it can be frustrating to go somewhere and find out there isn’t a bathroom large enough for her to use. Or there’ll be parking spaces and a ramp, but the door to get into the place is too narrow for her to pass through in her chair. She and Owens both identified the thoughtful placement of racks and shelves by store owners as vital to their ability to travel through a store to actually look at stuff. For McGrew, getting out to look at boutiques is an important way for her to keep doing things she enjoyed before being in a wheelchair, and it can be hard to get into a shop only to realize that the aisles are too narrow for her to browse. Sometimes it’s the city infrastructure that enables or impedes travel in a wheelchair. When sidewalks aren’t maintained and become cracked, broken and bumpy, it’s an eyesore for the neighborhood. But it could be a safety hazard for anyone in a wheelchair. One summer, when McGrew was excited to get out in her new motorized chair, she ventured from her house near Dimond to the nearby gas station. She traversed the uneven sidewalk on the way with difficulty. Luckily, she had a caregiver with her on that trip, because on the way back, while going over a particularly bad spot, her wheelchair started to tip over.

“Anchorage has turned into a pretty good city for wheel chair access, when it comes to building design and curb cuts. Because most of the buildings are new.”

The fluffy white stuff But there’s one thing that makes a huge difference in the lives of many people who use wheelchairs city-wide. “Snow.” Owens said, “The snow is a really big issue. If you get six inches of snow, and someone’s in a wheelchair, they’re not going to be able to get through it.” Snowfall may not be a big deal to an able bodied person, but it can mean missing a doctor’s appointment or not being able to

March 28 - April 3, 2013

get food at the grocery store for a person in a wheelchair. How big an impediment snow will be depends on a lot of factors, such as whether the person has a car and whether there’s someone to help clear a driveway or if they are able-bodied enough to do it themselves. If the wheelchair user doesn’t have a car, it can also depend on whether or not they live within the Anchor Ride service area; the subsidized public transportation service (which costs users $3 per one-way trip) generally picks people up within three-quarters of a mile of a People Mover bus stop. Jeff Dick, an advocate with Challenge Alaska whose partner uses a wheelchair, said it’s not just how quickly the city and businesses clear snow from the sidewalks, but how they do it, that counts. If the sidewalk is cleared but the slight ramp up to it is blocked by snow, it’ll be impassible for most wheelchair users. Sometimes, he said, the sidewalk gets plowed, but then a street plow comes back along and throws slush and snow right back up on to the sidewalk. Other times, the grade of the sidewalk will be such that the snow is higher on one side than the other, causing travelers in a wheelchair or on crutches to start sliding into traffic. “How many times do you do that before you just decide not to go out anymore?” Dick said. The most helpful thing businesses can do, Noah said, is to be conscious of clearing snow on the property so that everyone, including people in wheelchairs or other assistance devices, can get into the establishment. “You need to send people out to clear the snow more frequently if it’s dumping,” he said. “If it’s getting up beyond the parking space stops, there’s no way someone in a chair or walker will be able to get through that.”

A better place to roll The one thing that makes the greatest difference for people in wheelchairs, Noah said, is if people in the community care enough about them to make Anchorage a city that’s a great place to roll. “Just be conscious,” he said. “Learn what the (Americans with Disabilities Act) law is. Train your staff to recognize problems and bring them up to the owners’ attention. And care enough to make change. The businesses should talk to people like us. Actually ask, ‘How are you doing? Can you get around?’ He added, “You’ll get more thanks, if they at least acknowledge there’s a problem, and say, ‘Is there something we can do?’ That makes our day.”

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top ten

Bottles that won’t break the bank A wine-buying guide for regular people By Brandon Allen

I

hate wine snobs. And I hate wine reviews featuring bottles that swallow a fair-sized portion of my PFD check. The current issue of Wine Spectator magazine reviews 15 California Cabernet or Cab blends. The prices top out at $250, half of them are over $100, the next five are between $90 and $75, and the bargain on the list is $56. Seriously, who buys these wines? And I really hate seeing innocent consumers spend their money on bottles that should be banished from retail shelves for violating the Alaska Statute on false advertising for being flavored water posing as wine. If you’re someone that wants a good bottle of wine at a killer price or a really good bottle of wine at a price you can afford, then read on.

5 rules for wine buying

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Labels. The general theory of wine label relativity postulates that the cheesier the label the cheesier the wine. Evidentiary Proof: stringing together the following labels gives you, “Ooh La La, that Bitch of a Skinny Girl dating the Fat Bastard went Barefoot and they played with The Little Penguin.” I rest my case.

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Only Buy On Sale. Except when you’re at Costco, which doesn’t do on sale. There is so much good wine and retailers need to keep sales growing every year. That means there is always something on sale, bringing many wines under my self-imposed $25 limit. I mean, if you’re gonna spend over 20 bucks, why not get an upgrade?

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LWS. If you don’t subscribe to wine geek mags or study wine blogs, then make friends with your Local Wine Shop. There are several LWS in Anchorage with knowledgeable wine sellers. They want you to be happy with your purchase. They want you to come back. They will help you get the best value for your money, whatever that is. Anchorage Wine House, UnWined, Wine Styles, Brown Jug Warehouse and Gold Rush Liquors usually have someone on duty that knows about more than how to process your Visa card.

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Brands. There are some things you can always count on. McDonald’s French fries. Starbucks. Scorsese. In the wine universe it’s Sebastiani, Chateau St. Jean, Columbia Crest Grand Estates, Chateau Ste. Michelle, Penfolds, and Lapastolle. You’re in a hurry and need a bottle of wine… pick one, any one, any color and you’ll be happy.

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Big Tent. Make room for immigrants. Italians, Spaniards, Chileans, Argentineans, Aussies, Kiwis, French, heck even Canucks. I love to hear their accents when my overseas friends talk. Learn to appreciate the accents in their wines.

Buy these bottles

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Best Cheap. Blackstone Cabernet 2011 and Blackstone Chardonnay 2011 are $4.99 each. This is not a typo… $4.99 A BOTTLE. Now, we aren’t talking award-winning, palate swooning, best freakin’ grape juice you ever had, but $4.99 a bottle earns a lot of forgiveness. This used to be a $10 bottle but corporate shenanigans have it on sale all over town. So I asked my LWS guy and he said, “well, it’s not offensive… I mean, it has its place. “I bought a Cab and a Chard. Cab notes: light color, don’t expect concentrated flavors. Nose has some cherry and tar (slight hint of vulcanization on the tar). Taste is fruity, not sweet. Thirty minutes later the tar is gone, some blackberries and black olive showing up. Not bad—meaning, not bad. Chard notes: very light color. Nose has lots of nutmeg (a few too many wood chips in the fermenting vat), some fruit and green olives. Thirty minutes later: olives blew off, wood chips became toasty oak and fruit came out of hiding. These wines are the perfect third bottle of the night or first bottle when your credit card is maxed. By the way, it’s $4.99 a bottle.

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Best Sparklers. Trademark laws reserve the use of “Champagne” to a small region in France. The rest of the world must label their bubbly wines as “sparklers.” I love bubbles and have an ongoing contest to see how far I can launch the cork off my deck. Roderer Estate Brut ($25 or less). This wine has the subtle yeasty, biscuit, toasted nut aroma that’s missing in many California sparklers and is part of Champagne’s allure. The lively mousse of bubbles lingers on your tongue. Balanced acids sharpen the apple and pear fruit flavors. Not quite Dom Perignon, but close your eyes and you’ll still see the stars. many times by frail, oh-so-delicate pinots that leave you asking, Segura Viudas Brut Reserve ($9). I hate cheap sparkling wine “where’s the wine in this glass?” Well, it’s right here. This has a and much of it is simply not drinkable. This is not that. This wine dense garnet color, and the nose will have you sniffing like a spends two years in its bottle undergoing the secondary fermen- beagle… cola, berries, cedar, leather, spice. Ka-boom—a mouth tation that produces the bubbles. Crisp flavors of apple and hints explosion of dark cherries and pomegranates with a face slap of of anise are wrapped in creaminess, making a wine that is be- acidity. yond its price. And at this price, you can launch a cork and celLas Rocas Garnacha 2009 ($9). This might be the best red ebrate just about anything. wine value in town. Lots of wines at this price are Starburst candy fruit bimbos. This Spanish wine has depth, texture and Best Whites. I’m going ABC… Anything But Chardon- nuance. That’s what makes a wine good. Smell the kirsch and nay. There are way too many Chards under $25 to choose raspberries sprinkled with some pepper and a dusting of anise. from and it’s further complicated by the ever-changing sale Savor the ripe, but not jammy, blackberries and feel the tannin selection. Follow the Rules of Wine Buying above and you’ll find grip that insists you have another glassful. a Chard to make you happy. Here are two whites out of the mainstream that you should try. Port: Warre Tawny Port 10 Years Old Otima NV (about Chateau St. Michelle Eroica 2011 (about $20). This wine is $20). Not just for the Downton Abbey crowd and far from as far from Chard as you can get. All fruit, no oak. Delicate, but the Downtown Alley crowd. Port is a great way to have desnot weak. Aromas of peach and grapefruit engage your nose and ert without a fork. This one is rich and loaded with caramelized the bright limey citrus acids light up your mouth. Avoid over- fruits, honey and a bit of iodine (that’s a good thing). It coats chilling this wine, it likes to be cool but not a popsicle. your mouth and throat like a Nordstrom fleece throw. Both the Caymus Conundrum White 2011 (about $20 on sale). This throw and Otima are perfect for our recent spring weather. stew of five grapes is almost food instead of wine. It has a deep rich golden color, a big nose hit of honeysuckle, mouth full of Remember, no matter what you buy, no matter what it costs, tropical fruits and figs, a silky swallow with a lingering spiciness. no matter what other people say… if you like it, then it’s good. This is not a subtle wine. Tame it by serving with your Easter ham or put it in the octagon with shrimp wearing yellow curry. - Brandon Allen lives and writes in Anchorage, Alaska. Contact him at brandona@gci.net. Best Reds. Still going ABC… Anything But Cabernet and for the same reasons as the Chards. Try these two reds. Belle Glos Meiomi Pinot Noir 2010 (under $25 on sale). Cab drinkers pay attention. This is your transition wine to help you adjust to the world of pinot. You’ve been disappointed so

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PERFORMINGARTSLISTING>> STAGE & THEATRE Classical mystery tour — The world’s premier Beatles Tribute Band Classical Mystery Tour is back for a benefit concert to support the Anchorage Symphony Orchestra. The four musicians of Classical Mystery Tour look and sound like the Beatles and perform dozens of Beatles classics the way they were recorded. Concert Thursday, March 28, and Friday, March 29, in the Atwood Concert Hall. Tickets available online at CenterTix.net. (621 Sixth Ave.) Dead Man’s Cell Phone — An incessantly ringing cell phone in a quiet café. A stranger at the next table who has had enough. And a dead man—with a lot of loose ends.

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So begins Dead Man’s Cell Phone, a wildly imaginative new comedy by MacArthur “Genius” Grant recipient and Pulitzer Prize finalist, Sarah Ruhl, author of The Clean House and Eurydice. A work about how we memorialize the dead—and how that remembering changes us—it is the odyssey of a woman forced to confront her own assumptions about morality, redemption, and the need to connect in a technologically obsessed world. Show opens Friday, March 29, and runs weekends through Sunday, April 21, at Cyrano’s Off Center Playhouse. Tickets available online at CenterTix. net. (413 D St.) Anchorage Civic Orchestra: Spring concert — ACO provides an outlet for talented

musicians representing citizens from many local industries, including retail sales, law, accounting, pharmacy, dentistry, medicine, finance, fishing, teaching and the oil industry. For over 20 years, ACO believes that arts lift the spirit and raise the collective consciousness of Anchorage residents. The spring concert is held Friday, March 29, in the Sydney Laurence Theatre. Tickets available online at CenterTix. net. (621 Sixth Ave.) Comedian Erin Jackson — Erin Jackson hails from a trail of grass root comedy, and has showcased her work at east coast comedy clubs and colleges campuses. Her conversational humor and relatable style propelled her onto the national stage where she’s performed

on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” and Comedy Central’s “Live at Gotham,” and was a semifinalist on season six of NBC’s “Last Comic Standing.” Jackson is comedy’s modern woman, her approach to humor illuminated by her megawatt smile and pocket full of dreams. Tickets are $10 and are available at UAATix.net. Show is at 7:30 p.m. on Thursday, March 28, in the UAA Den. (3211 Providence Dr.) A Gulag Mouse — After a violent act of self-defense, Anastasia is thrust into the harsh reality of life in Stalin’s gulag where she and her fellow inmates struggle for power in a powerless situation. Don’t miss the play Chicago Theatre called “a thriller with a brain.” A Gulag Mouse is filled with suspense and

black humor born out of one of the darkest realities of modern history. Will these five women choose to live or merely survive? How far are they willing to go to answer that question? Showing weekends through Sunday, April 7, at Out North Theatre. Tickets available online at CenterTix.net. (3800 DeBarr Rd.) At Home With The Clarks — The world premiere of a new play by Rand Higbee, author of the hilarious The Head That Wouldn’t Die. A traditional 1960s American family faces seemingly insurmountable difficulties involving teenagers growing up, time travel, nuclear war and a world overrun by zombies. Showing through March 31, at Anchorage Community Theatre.

Tickets available at actalaska.org. (1133 E. 70th Ave.)

OTHER OPEN ART NIGHT— Abigail Raymundo brings a whole new dimension to “open mic night” with this new, live open art night showcasing all kinds of artistic expression. Josh Olsen and the Eternal Cowboys host musical guests. Audience participation encouraged for live art sculpture. Every Wednesday, 9:30 p.m. to close at the Anchor Pub (712 W. Fourth Ave.)

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MARCH 28 - APRIL 4, 2013

Tiny Miracles will play at Koot’s on Sunday, March 31.

PHOTO BY JOEL ADAMS

Go see a band THURSDAY - SUNDAY Thursday: SJ+Drums kicks off the weekend with live music at Whale’s Tail inside the Captain Cook Hotel. This place has wine that dispenses like a soda fountain, so you don’t even have to wait for a server. 8 p.m., no cover. (939 W. Fifth Ave.) Friday: Local DJ Spencer Lee is opening for Macklemore and Ryan Lewis at the Egan Center. It’s sold out, but you might be able to snag a ticket by standing around outside with some cash handy. Doors open at 7:30 p.m., tickets were sold for $30 so don’t let anyone jack up the ticket price. (555 Fifth Ave.) Saturday: Mike Gorder and Nervis Rex are playing at Tap Root Public House. Old-school Anchorage scenesters will enjoy the solid rock ‘n’ roll sounds from these seasoned musicians. Show starts at 9 p.m., there is a $5 cover. (3300 Spenard Rd.) Sunday: Tiny Miracles and Toucher play the Live and Local night at Chilkoot Charlie’s. Wind down from the weekend by getting amped up with two of Anchorage’s newer groups. Show starts at 9 p.m., no cover. (2435 Spenard Rd.)

Alaska railroad Easter train SATURDAY, MARCH 30 Hop aboard the Alaska Railroad Easter trains for a scenic trip with the Easter Bunny. Trains depart from the Historic Anchorage Downtown Depot and travel south along Turnagain Arm to Indian and back. Both morning and afternoon trains will feature a visit from the Easter Bunny, a magician, some sweet treats and plenty of fun. Tickets are $59 per adult or $29 per child ages two through 11 years old. Train departs twice on Saturday, March 30. To purchase tickets visit alaskarailroad. com/eastertrain. (411 W. First Ave.)

Alaska Design Forum Presents LUST MONDAY, APRIL 1 LUST, of The Hague in Netherlands, is a multidisciplinary graphic design practice established by Jeroen Barendse, Thomas Castro and Dimitri Nieuwenhuizen. LUST works in a broad spectrum of media including traditional printwork and book design, abstract cartography and data-visualizations, new media and interactive installations and architectural graphics. This lecture is the fourth of six in the Alaska Design Forum lecture series “Here: From global to hyper local.” Presentation begins at 7 p.m. on Monday, April 1, at the Anchorage Museum. (625 C St.)

March March 28 28 -- April April 3, 3, 2013 2013

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MUSIC

fire island, AK Doom, boredom and the art of harsh noise BY RYAN GEORGIOFF

T

HOMAS BOETTNER HAS BEEN KEEPING BUSY. As the driver of experimental harsh noise vehicle fire island, AK, Boettner, 26, has self-released dozens of albums and collaborated on a handful of others. He adheres to the DIY ethic: hand-packaging albums, home-recording and silk-screening his own tees. fire island, AK has traversed varied artistic terrain since its founding as a “jagged folk” project in 2004. Boettner describes his early work as reminiscent of the angular songs of Xiu Xiu and the lo-fi psych-folk of The Microphones and Mount Eerie. As he embarked on tours in the Lower 48, Boettner became disaffected with his artistic orientation, and felt that his work was redundant and in need of a new direction. In 2006, Boettner moved from South Carolina to Fairbanks, attending classes at the University of Alaska Fairbanks for a year before returning to his hometown of Spartanburg, South Carolina. It was then that fire island, AK underwent radical metamorphosis, emerging in its present form as an experimental noise program. He moved to Anchorage in early 2011, becoming involved in a slew of local acts, including post-hardcore rockers Yeoman and alternative country outfit Sodom Dock. Self-described as “Alaska’s only queer-noise assault unit,” fire island, AK is not music engineered for the masses. Boettner says that noise can be described as the queering of music, challenging our concepts of what music is and can be. In this way, his project shares in a lineage of noise experiments: from the early 20th century’s Dadaist sound poetry and the works of Futurist Luigi Russolo, who wrote the 1913 manifesto The Art of Noises; to the mid-century composer Steve Reich, whose seminal works include “It’s Gonna Rain,” a piece in which the title phrase is sampled from the apocalyptic speech of a Pentecostal preacher and repeated with slightly altered timing, modulating the sample to striking effect. Boettner sees the evolution of fire island, AK as an artistic step forward. “It’s more genuine,” he says. “There’s only so many guitar chords you can use. There’s only so many tones and tunings. With noise you really have an infinite palette of sounds that’s based on whatever you want to use.” Boettner describes his equipment as “mostly garbage.” His tools include analog artifacts—thrift store tape decks and a Library of Congress deck for the blind abandoned by a couchsurfer; grungy leftover pedals scrounged from friends’ basements—and noise-oriented synthesizers like the ominously named “Audible Disease Synth Bomb.” A microphone features prominently on many compositions with unearthly vocal textures. Boettner says he can see how his approach may invite skeptics. “The avant-garde and the completely untrained—they kind of tread in the same space. So much of it comes from ‘improperly’ playing an instrument. But you have to learn the instrument before you can learn all the sounds it can do for you.” Boettner turns to metaphor for further explanation. “You learn the craft and you become a carpenter,” he says. “And you make a really nice chair. A perfect chair.” He pauses, for effect. “Is it art? “You could make a hundred more exactly like it.” Drawn out of this spirit, Boettner’s moody soundscapes are improvisational and unpredictable from one moment to the next, subject only to the immediacy of taste and emotion. I was able to sample one of his numbered CD-Rs, a copy of The Jester As Victim (#29/30), a Dostoevsky-inspired “power electronics” album funded by friends and noise fans via a Kickstarter campaign. Power electronics is a genre first associated with a group called Whitehouse and is characterized by fractious white noise layered with pulsing synthesized bass, shrieking feedback and haunting vocals. Like many of the branches of noise, power electronics eschews melody and metered rhythm altogether.

“The avantgarde and the completely untrained — they kind of tread in the same space.”

Got tickets? BRETT DENNEN

Thursday, April 4 Beartooth Theatrepub

$30 Beartooth Theatre

YELAWOLF

Friday, April 5 & Sat., April 6 420 W. Third Ave.

$30 groovetickets.com

MIKE BIRBIGLIA

Friday, April 19 Williamson Auditorium

$10-35 UAATix

JUDY COLLINS

Wed. May 8 Discovery Theatre

$37 CenterTix

BELLAMY BROTHERS

Saturday, May 18 Egan Center

$36 TicketMaster

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The Jester As Victim is available for digital download online. The first track, titled “I°,” opens with a jolt of heavily distorted textures and grating, otherworldly feedback squeals. Imagine an astronaut isolated aboard a drifting vessel in deep space—his mind deteriorating, deranged with space sickness. Imagine the soundtrack to his gnawing horror and you’ll have an idea of the brutality of The Jester As Victim. Each track ripples with a palpable murk of foreboding. The album can easily be seen as a nightmarish take on the novel machine sounds of industry. “[Noise] completely follows the industrial revolution,” says Boettner. “Now we have engines, we have motors, trains and airplanes... machine guns. All this mechanized noise that suddenly exists in our life. And it’s still sound. If sound is used to make music, then is this also music?” By turns shocking, repellent and even disturbing, noise art in the vein of fire island, AK can be seen as an exploration of sonic abstraction, accosting our musical milieu and provoking our imaginations. It asks the listener to participate in its intrinsic emotions, taking the unfamiliar and making it familiar. The desire, or perhaps compulsion, to embody feeling is the message, the implicit signal in the noise. And for Boettner, it is also the final purpose. “Noise, personally, is a totally honest expression,” he says. “Is it negative and aggressive and confrontational? Yes. But so is real life.”

fire island, AK Doomettes and S.L. opening 7 p.m. Saturday, March 30 $5, all ages show. Indigo Tea Lounge (221 E. Fifth Ave.) fireislandak.bandcamp.com

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blog.anchoragepress.com March March28 28--April April3, 3,2013 2013

MUSIC

This is awesome Macklemore and Ryan Lewis bring socially conscious hip-hop to Egan Center BY DANIELLA CORTEZ

H

E’S A TALL, BLONDE WHITE RAPPER from Seattle. He name checks motivational author Malcolm Gladwell and artist Basquiat in the first track of his latest album. He raps about thrift store shopping and marriage equality. He is Macklemore, and he’s doing the rap game his own way. With no big name record label to back him, it’s just Macklemore and his producer Ryan Lewis (and a hefty roster of featuring artists), making music that exceeds expectations of what hip-hop is supposed to be. Macklemore and Lewis are quickly becoming household names. Their single “Thrift Shop” infiltrated probably every social media Ryan Lewis and Macklemore will play at the Egan Center on Friday, March 29. outlet late last year thanks to its catchy hook and super cute music video featuring the duo in a variety of thrifted outfits, including Macklemore takes on other big themes with this album, like marriage equality in the song a coonskin cap and Batman footie pajamas. It’s been parodied and played so often on local radio “Same Love,” a track that calls out homophobia in hip-hop: that even devoted fans (myself included) are sick of hearing it. If overexposure and cheap rip-offs are the mark of success, these two have made it. If I was gay, I would think hip-hop hates me In addition to a chart-topping single, the group has a well-honed air of careful nonchalance. They Have you read the YouTube comments lately? are good looking, fashion forward and unafraid to “Man, that’s gay” gets dropped on the daily rock either a fringed suede jacket or a purple metalWe become so numb to what we’re saying. lic jumpsuit to make a video really memorable. With decidedly hipster leanings, popular hip-hop beats Throughout the entire album there is a running theme of eschewing over-indulgence and disand intelligent, socially conscious lyrics, these two honesty in favor of love, confidence and supporting the people around you. The album is heavily are tailor-made for the coveted 18-25 demographic. biographical, with each track featuring some fraction of the Macklemore story. On tracks like The duo has sold out shows on nearly every con- “Starting Over” and “Thin Line,” Macklemore refers to his struggle to hold on to hard-fought sobritinent and has been touring almost constantly since ety and personal relationships while working in the music industry. their album The Heist dropped last year. Their show The Heist is uplifting and heart breaking, quirky in parts but ultimately the kind of album that at the Egan Center on March 29, put together by can be enjoyed as a complete work. It’s more complex and earnest than the first single will have you UAA’s concert board, sold out in minutes. believe, but doesn’t flag in its enthusiasm at any point either. Macklemore’s success signals a growing trend Macklemore’s meteoric rise to popularity can be attributed to over a decade of hard work and in the music industry, one that has artists moving dedication. His career hasn’t been without its pitfalls or problems — including Macklemore’s away the traditional model of relying on major la- struggles through relapse to recovery. Ultimately Macklemore and Lewis have always been able to bels signing them to sell albums. The Heist’s chart ranking is remarkable for just about any rook- pull off songs that make you want to dance, to sing along and to keep listening. ie artist, but the fact that it has been this successful without a major label is almost unheard of. Macklemore has released all his previous work on his own label and, aside from working with an international booking agency, has little outside support to record, produce, promote or distribute his music. Macklemore’s music emphasizes messages of hope, determination, individuality and, well, booMacklemore and Ryan Lewis ty shaking. The Heist, released in 2012, debuted at number two on the Billboard charts overall and With local DJ Spencer Lee number one on the rap and hip-hop charts. The Heist starts out with the inspirational song “Ten 7:30 p.m. Friday, March 29 at Thousand Hours,” which is about taking the time to get good at what you love. A nod to the amount Egan Center (555 Fifth Ave.) of time and energy Macklemore and Lewis put into recording not just Heist, but also a 2005 independent album (only released digitally), three EPs and 2009’s aptly named Unplanned Mixtape. Macklemore.com Where “Thrift Shop” is a seemingly lighthearted look at consumerism and greed, it also marks a departure from the kind of commercial hip-hop that glorifies excess. In “Make the Money” Macklemore repeats the mantra to “forever remain faithful, stay true” and “make the money, don’t let the money make you.”

Macklemore’s music emphasizes messages of hope, determination, individuality and booty shaking.

THURSDAY 03.28

FRIDAY 03.29

SATURDAY 03.30

SUNDAY 03.31

TUESDAY 04.02

WEDNESDAY 04.03

Open mic. 7 p.m. (Indigo Tea Lounge)

DJ Spencer Lee, Macklemore. 8 p.m. (Egan Center)

Fire Island, Ak CD release. 7 p.m. (Indigo Tea Lounge)

Down and Dirty Blues Jam. 8:30 p.m. (Tap Root)

Mike Gorder CD Release. 6:30 p.m. (Pioneer Bar)

SJ+Drums. 8 p.m. (Whale’s Tail)

ATF, DJ Tico. 10 p.m. (Avenue)

Rick Z’s Tribute to jazz masters. 8 p.m. (Taproot)

Meg Mackey Band. 9 p.m. (Taproot)

Mike Gorder, Nervis Rex. 9 p.m. (Taproot)

Comedian Carole Montgomery, Tiny Miracles, Toucher, DJ Jesse Cross, DJ Gre. (Chilkoot Charlie’s)

Comedian Sam Tripoli, Thee Homicidal Supermodels, Dj Ross Young. 10 p.m. (Chilkoot Charlie’s)

Comedian Sam Tripoli, Thee Homicidal Supermodels, Dj Open Decks. 9 p.m. (Chilkoot Charlie’s)

H3. (Blues Central)

Blaze And Eric. 5:30 To 9:30 P.M. (Sullivan’s Steak House)

Talent on tap contest. 9 p.m. (Taproot)

Thee Homicidal Supermodels, Open Decks, Dj Adam J, Dj Gre. 10 p.m. (Chilkoot Charlie’s)

T. Harvey Combo Blues Jam. 8 P.M. (Blues Central)

Bob Parsons. 6 p.m. (Organic Oasis)

DJ KY. 10 p.m. (Anchor Pub)

MONDAY 04.01

Thee Homicidal Supermodels, Dj Jesse Cross, DJ Adam J. (Chilkoot Charlie’s) Silvertrain. 9 p.m. (Humpy’s) Throwback Thursdays with DJ Ky. 10 p.m. (Anchor Pub) Agent of Karma. 8 p.m. (S Lounge) Karaoke. At 9 P.M. (Whaler Bar & Grill) Pub Scouts. 10 P.M. To 2 A.M. No Cover. (Blue Fox) Jam Night with Matt Hammer. (La Mex, Dimond)

March28 28- -April April3,3,2013 2013 March

Moby Wang and Supergirl. 9 p.m. (Humpy’s) Ben Balivet. 8:30 p.m. (McGinley’s Pub) DJ KY. 10 p.m. (Anchor Pub) The Diamonds. (Blues Central)

Hot Dish. 9 p.m. (Humpy’s)

Grits and Gravy.10 p.m. (Blue Fox)

Thee Homicidal Supermodels, Dj Jesse Cross, Dj Adam J, DJ Gre. (Chilkoot Charlie’s)

Brook Faulk Bands. 8:30 p.m. (McGinley’s Pub)

Tiny Miracles, Pretty Birds That Kill, Toucher. 10 p.m. $10. (Taproot)

Friday Night Diva Variety Show. 9 p.m. $5. (Mad Myrna’s)

Rick Zelinsky Jazz Trio. 7 p.m. (Sullivan’s Steakhouse)

Comedy open mic with Wyatt Belanger. 10 p.m. (McGinley’s)

Kenneth Jacobson. 7 P.M. Free. (Organic Oasis)

Ken Peltier Band 10 P.M. To 2:30 A.M. (Eddie’s Sports Bar)

Eternal Cowboys, DJ Adam J. 10 p.m. (Chilkoot Charlies)

Rick Zelinsky Jazz Trio. 7 p.m. (Sullivan’s Steakhouse)

Misha Shimmek. Noon. (Organic Oasis)

Mossira on drums. 6:30 p.m. (Organic Oasis)

Karaoke. 10 p.m. (Blue Fox)

Live Music. 9:30 P.M. (Whaler Bar & Grill)

Open mic with Mike Roxx. 8 P.M. (S Lounge)

Hodown Throwdown with Hot Dish. 9 p.m. (Taproot) Open Art Night Hosted By Abby Raymundo And The Eternal Cowboys. (Anchor Pub)

Comedy open mic with John Holmes. 9 p.m. (S Lounge)

Want to see your

event in print?

submit it online at anchoragepress.com/calendar

23 23

DAILY LIST THU. 03.28

FRI. 03.29

WEST ANCHORAGE COMMUNITY COUNCILS CANDIDATES FORUM— Assembly candidates running for District 3, Seats D and E, and School Board Candidates running for Seats A and B will be answering questions from the councils and public. Refreshments will be provided. Sponsored by North Star, Sand Lake, Spenard, Taku-Campbel. and Turnagain Community Councils. For more information, contact TCC President Cathy Gleason, 2480442. Forum begins at 7 p.m. in the Spenard Recreation Center. (2020 W. 48th Ave.)

THE “URBAN IN ALASKA” CONFERENCE — For most people, Alaska conjures up images of wild and vast wilderness, yet, over half of Alaskans actually live in urban areas. The “Urban in Alaska” conference will bring together scholars from the University of Alaska system as well as professionals working in the field for a one-day workshop and conference to present and discuss topics relevant to urban studies in Alaska. Topics will include: Architecture, Public Space, and Urban Design; Health, Education, and Food; Labor, Migration, and Refugees. The conference is free and open to the public. Audience participation is encouraged. For more information, please contact Bree Kessler at bckessler@ uaa.alaska.edu. Conference begins at 8:30 a.m. in the UAA Student Union. (3211 Providence Dr.)

ART, CULTURE, ENTERTAINMENT

THE ALASKA AUTISM RESOURCE CENTER PRESENTS: CHILDREN’S BOOK AUTHOR, JULIA COOK — While serving as a guidance counselor, Julia often used children’s books to enhance her classroom lessons. She is now nationally recognized as an award-winning children’s book author and parenting expert. Julia has presented in more than 800 schools across the country, regularly delivers keynote addresses at education and counseling conferences, and has published more than three-dozen children’s books. The goal behind all of Julia’s books and efforts is to actively involve young people into her fun and creative stories and teach them to become life-long problem solvers. Presentation begins at 9 a.m. in the BP Energy Center. (900 E. Benson Blvd.) MARGRITT ENGEL’S ALASKA PHOTO ALBUM: BUSH TRAVELS IN THE ‘70S — In the early ‘70s, Alaska Methodist University contracted with the federal and state governments to provide certain educational services, which were carried out by AMU faculty and staff on an uncompensated overload basis. Since all of these called for travel to Bush communities and Air Force remote sites, Margritt Engel volunteered to participate. Margritt Engel, Professor Emerita in the UAA Languages Department, will share her stories and photographs about rural Alaska in the ‘70s. This event is free, open to the public, with free parking in the South Lot, the lot across from the bookstore. For more information contact Rachel Epstein at 7864782. Event begins at 5 p.m. in the UAA Campus Bookstore. (2901 Spirit Dr.)

OTHER ENERGY SAVINGS WITH LIGHTING & APPLIANCES — The focus of the first half of this workshop is Energy Star appliances: refrigerators, dishwashers, washers and freezers. Discussion includes what the Energy Star seal means regarding energy efficiency. The second half of the workshop deals with energy efficient lighting, including compact fluorescent lights and Light Emitting Diode bulbs. Examples and demonstrations of the light bulbs are provided along with energy saving percentages. Class begins at 7 p.m. at the Alaska Craftsman Home Program (3400 Spenard Road, Suite 9)

ART, CULTURE, ENTERTAINMENT

NOURISH THEIR DREAMS — The Children’s Lunchbox is partnering with the Alaska Culinary Association and co-hosting the second annual “Nourish their Dreams” benefit. Last year this event brought together local chefs to display their signature touch on classic Alaskan cuisine and this year will be no different. There will be live entertainment and silent and live auctions with something for everyone. Tickets are $60 and are available at thechildrenslunchbox.org. Event begins at 6 p.m. at Bridge Seafood. (221 W. Ship Creek Ave.)

SAT. 03.30

ART, CULTURE, ENTERTAINMENT WRITERS CRITIQUE GROUP — Writers meet for critique. All genres and levels welcome. Group begins at 10 a.m. at Title Wave Books. (1360 W. Northern Lights Blvd.) SOUTHCENTRAL FOUNDATION GATHERING EXPO — This is a community wellness fair with more than 160 health education and wellness, communication organization, and Alaska Native artist booths. Live entertainment and fun for the entire family. Expo begins at 10 a.m. in the Dena’ina Civic and Convention Center. (600 W. Seventh Ave.) ARCTIC BIKE CLUB BIKE SWAP — Buy, sell, trade bikes and bicycle related gear. Open to all individuals and businesses. This is a free event and the club takes no commission or fees on sales and trades. For more information visit arcticbikeclub.org. Swap begins at 12:30 p.m. at the AT&T Sports Pavillion. (11051 O’Malley Centre Dr.)

ing kids crafts and face-painting. Scheduled to appear: children’s author Julia Cook, Kenny Siebels (classical guitar), Brandy Wendler (flute and fiddle), Rant ‘n’ Raven Morris Dancers, and Dawn Berg (songs). Event begins at 11 a.m. at Barnes & Noble Booksellers. (200 E. Northern Lights Blvd.) ALASKA RAILROAD EASTER TRAIN — Hop aboard the Alaska Railroad Easter Trains for a scenic trip with the Easter Bunny. Trains depart from the Historic Anchorage Downtown Depot and travel south along Turnagain Arm to Indian and then return to Anchorage. Morning and afternoon trains will both feature a visit from the Easter Bunny, a magician, some sweet treats and plenty of fun. $59 per adult/$29 per child ages two through 11 years old. To purchase tickets visit alaskarailroad.com/eastertrain. (411 W. First Ave.)

SUN. 03.31

ART, CULTURE, ENTERTAINMENT HAPPY EASTER!

MON. 04.01

ART, CULTURE, ENTERTAINMENT

ALASKA DESIGN FORUM PRESENTS LUST — A talk by LUST of The Hague, Netherlands, a multidisciplinary graphic design practice established by Jeroen Barendse, Thomas Castro and Dimitri Nieuwenhuizen. LUST works in a broad spectrum of media including traditional printwork and book design, abstract cartography and data-visualizations, new media and interactive installations and architectural graphics. This lecture is the fourth of six in the Alaska Design Forum lecture series Here: From global to hyper local. Presentation begins at 7 p.m. at the Anchorage Museum. (625 C St.) COMMUNITY ENGAGEMENT PROJECTS: A FACULTY PANEL PRESENTATION — At this event recipients of Center for Community Engagement and Learning funding describe their projects, student involvement, community partnerships and engaged research. UAA Faculty include Caroline Wilson, Mike Mueller and Doug Causey, Gabrielle Barnett, Maureen O’Malley, and Nancy Nix. Projects include “Alaska Brain Bee,” “Kodiak Island Science Teacher/Scientist Partnerships,” “WCF: Women. Culture. Film,” “An Academic-Clinical Practice Partnership at ANMC,” and “Public Health Community Research.” This event is free, open to the public, with free parking in the South Lot, the lot just across from the bookstore. Event begins at 5 p.m. in the UAA Campus Bookstore. (2901 Spirit Dr.)

CHILDREN, YOUTH & TEENS OTHER AUTISM AWARENESS BOOK FAIR — Find out more about autism spectrum disorders and enjoy entertainment and activities includ-

INSULATING FOR SAVINGS AND COMFORT — Your home’s insulation may have met the building code, but is it sufficient for today?

The air leaks into your attic have been fixed, but are you still losing purchased heat? Whether you choose to do it yourself or to hire a professional, this class helps you understand insulation options. Great for anyone participating in the AHFC energy rebate program. Class begins at 7 p.m. at the Alaska Craftsman Home Program (3400 Spenard Road, Suite 9)

TUE. 04.02

ART, CULTURE, ENTERTAINMENT

ALASKAN PROSPECTORS SOCIETY — An exciting presentation regarding an energy source for our State by Allison Payne is titled: “Geothermal Energy Potential in Alaska.” This program is an eyeopener to Alaska’s varied power generation possibilities. Donations for rent and snacks greatly appreciated. Presentation begins at 7:45 p.m. at First United Methodist Church. (725 W. Ninth Ave.) HOW TO BECOME A WHITEHOUSE FELLOW — Matt Blazek is a Program Analyst for the National Ocean Policy in the Alaska Region of the Bureau of Ocean Energy Management (BOEM)and a Presidential Management Fellow. At this event, he will explain how to become a Whitehouse Fellow, share first-hand knowledge of the program, offer details about the application process and discuss the opportunities and avenues for UAA students and recent graduates seeking part-time or full-time employment within the Federal government. For more information contact Rachel Epstein at 7864782. Event begins at 5 p.m. in the UAA Campus Bookstore. (2901 Spirit Dr.) ASMP PHOTO PRESENTATION WITH LOREN HOLMES — Anchorage photojournalist Loren Holmes and a special photo lecture titled “The New Media Landscape: one year at Alaska Dispatch.” Loren will share photos from his first year as the Multimedia Editor and Photographer at Alaska Dispatch, an online-only news site, including photos from two Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Races and assignments in over 15 rural Alaskan communities. He will also talk about the practicalities of working and transmitting in remote and harsh environments, and discuss the pros and cons of producing work for an online-only publication.

WED. 04.03

ART, CULTURE, ENTERTAINMENT ALASKA APPLE USERS GROUP APRIL MEETING — The April meeting will feature a presentation on GIS (Geographic Information Systems) from Terri Morganson.Our program will also include our usual Q & A on numerous Mac questions, plus some tasty snacks. Meeting begins at 7 p.m. at the BP Energy Center. (1014 Energy Ct.)

CHERISHING A LOST ART: REKINDLING POETRY, MUSIC, AND ART — UAA faculty Steve Godfrey (Art Dept), Phil Munger( Music Dept) and performance artist Taichiro Ward come together to showcase the work, dedication, and joy that comes being an artist and/or performer. This event is free, open to the public, with free parking in the South Lot, the lot just across from the bookstore. For more information contact Rachel Epstein at 7864782. Event begins at 5 p.m. in the UAA Campus Bookstore. (2901 Spirit Dr.)

ANCHORAGE PUBLIC LIBRARY EVENTS MOTHER GOOSE— Twenty minutes of nursery rhymes, songs, fingerplays and action for infants, birth to 18 months, and their caregivers. Loussac at Fridays, 2:30 p.m. LAPSIT—Twenty minutes of short stories, songs and lots of repetition to build early literacy skills for children 3 and under and their caregivers. Loussac on Tuesdays, 10:30 a.m., Wednesdays, 10:30 a.m., Thursdays, 10:30 a.m. and Fridays, 10:30 a.m.; Muldoon on Thursdays, 10:30 a.m.; ChugiakEagle River on Fridays, 10:15 a.m.; Gerrish (Girdwood) on Saturdays, 11 a.m. PRESCHOOL STORYTIME— A half hour of stories, songs and movement that build early literacy skills and prepare your preschooler ages three to five for Kindergarten. Muldoon on Wednesdays, 10:30 a.m.; Loussac on Thursdays and Fridays, 11:30 a.m.; Gerrish (Girdwood) on Fridays, 11 a.m.; Chugiak-Eagle River on Fridays, 11:15 a.m. FAMILY STORYTIME— A half hour of stories, songs, and more to build early literacy skills; a blend of entertainment and education for children birth through kindergarten & their caregivers. Loussac on Saturdays, 1:30 p.m. GAMING AT TEEN UNDERGROUND— Need a study break? Join us for open gaming on Xbox and PS3. Fridays, 3-5 p.m. Teen Underground, Loussac, level 3. TEEN OPEN ZONE— Come get your game on! We’ve got board games, card games, and video games for the new or experienced gamer. Wednesdays, 2:45 to 4:45 p.m. at Mountain View Library, Community Room. FAMILY MOVIES— Grab a bag of popcorn or a snack and settle in with your family to enjoy a classic or a new favorite movie. Call 3432818 for movie titles. Fridays, 3 p.m. at Mountain View Library, Community Room. WRITER’S BLOCK— Teens ages 13-18 meet to practice and improve their writing skills, discuss topics related to writing, and build a foundation for a career in writing. Tuesdays, 3-5 p.m. at Mountain View, Community Room.

structor, Jesse Wright, as he leads the beat. Borrow one of GrassRoots’ djembes or feel free to bring your own instrument. Free and open to all. 2nd and 4th Sundays, 2 to 4 p.m. at GrassRoots Fair Trade Store (1300 W. Northern Lights Blvd.) DRUM CIRCLE— Hand drummers interested in festival drumming, circle drumming, drum councils, feeling a heart beat rhythm groove or anyone that likes dancing around big fires is welcome to join Arctic Circle of Anchorage for a Drum Circle second Friday of the month from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. at Anchorage Unitarian Universalist Fellowship. (3201 Turnagain St.) ANCHORAGE GO CLUB— The Anchorage Go Club meets to enjoy the strategic and ancient games of Go and backgammon. Players of all abilities are welcome, and there is always somebody available to teach a beginner. More info at www. knotical-arts.com/goclub. Free. 5 to 8 p.m. every Thursday and every Saturday from 5 to 9 p.m. at Title Wave Books (1360 W. Northern Lights Blvd.) BINGO— Pull-tabs, door prizes, and potluck. $10. 7 to 9 p.m. every Tuesday and Wednesday at The Chugiak Senior Center (22424 Birchwood Loop Rd., Chugiak) CHESS CLUB— Are you the next Bobby Fischer or Garry Kasparov? Come find out at the chess club. All skill levels are welcome. Free. 5 to 10 p.m. each Friday at Title Wave Books (1360 W. Northern Lights Blvd.) COOKING CLASS — Classes weekly covering a variety of themes. Times and prices vary. Details at www.aphome.com. Classes at Allen & Petersen (3002 Seward Hwy.) CRAFT ‘N’ CHAT— Meets every Thursday evening in the Arts Room at the Anchorage Senior Center from 6 to 9 p.m. (1300 E. 19th Ave.) D&D ENCOUNTERS— Get into the action quickly by creating a classic 1st-level D&D character using the new D&D Essentials rules options, or grab a pre-generated one. For players of all levels. Free. Contact 274-4112. Thursdays, 6 p.m. at BOSCO’S Spenard. (2606 Spenard)

NETWORKING OPPS ANCHORAGE COMPUTER CLUB— Come and share your computer issues and knowledge and get answers for basic to advanced computer questions. Call 267-4200 with any questions. Fridays from 8 to 9 a.m. at Elim Cafe (561 W. Dimond Blvd.) www.anchoragepress.com/calendar

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT DRUMMING CIRCLE— All are welcome to join this fun circle of local drummers. Learn from a great in-

Publicize your event with a free calendar listing in the Anchorage Press submit all information online at www.anchoragepress.com/calendar ten days prior to publication. Additional questions, extended press releases and photographs may

be submitted via e-mail to calendar@anchoragepress.com.

24 24

March 28 - April 3, 2013 March 28 - April 3, 2013

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March 28 - April 3, 2013

25

Theater Review

Desperate times Actors endure abuse, rehearsals in a freezer to portray Soviet women’s prison in ‘A Gulag Mouse’ By Colleen Bailey

W

hen it comes to edgy, avant-garde art, Anchorage turns to Out North. Inside the cheerful blue and orange art house is a new theater production, A Gulag Mouse, and the stage is draped in burlap and twine, with skeletal walls and ominous barbed wire fence cast in deep shadows. The play is set in a Siberian gulag, 87 miles from civilization. On opening night, aggressive music poured through the speakers, providing a stark contrast to the cheerful conversations of the gathering audience. Arthur M. Jolly wrote A Gulag Mouse in roughly 28 days, during a period of intense family trauma, and the script has an anxious, almost hysterical feel. The play is about survival, about living, and about finding strength to stand up for someone who can do nothing for you. The award-winning script (2009’s Joining Sword and Pen Competition, 2010’s Seattle Off-Broadway Competition) comes to life in the capable hands of Anchorage director Arlitia Jones, who utilized some unorthodox techniques to bring out high levels of emotion in the principal characters. During the nine months of preparation and pre-production for A Gulag Mouse, Jones verbally abused her actresses, made them rehearse in a butcher shop freezer negative 20 to evoke the chill of a Siberian winter, and made them rehearse in a room with a cardboard box full of live spiders collected by her husband. “I called them whores,” Jones said. “I didn’t tell them how long they’d be in the freezer. I wanted to break them. I called them all sorts of names you probably can’t print.” When I told her the spider thing was already freaking me out, she said, “That’s the point. You know when you’re in a room with someone who scares you and you immediately find the farthest point away from them you can? As soon as the girls realized what was inside the box—not sealed, just closed, like at any minute the spiders could all get out—they had that emotion.” Her methods pay off big time with this small, talented cast. A Gulag Mouse deals with themes of violence, betrayal, murder, sacrifice, rape, and the human will to survive. In this unnamed prison in the Soviet “gulag archipelago,” five female prisoners struggle to survive the length of their sentences. They are starving, weak, sick, bitter, and devoid of hope. They sometimes receive extra rations thanks to the sacrifice of Lubov (Morgan Mitchell), a striking redhead who has sex with one of the guards in exchange for extra food and a bunk by the stove. The play is hard to watch at times, particularly a scene where one of the prisoners savagely beats her bunkmate until she can barely stand— then forces her to climb up to the top bunk to sleep. Fight choreographer Frank Delaney is the local authority on making each hit look and sound real, and the fight scenes are excellent.

Prushka (Danielle Rabinovitch, left) and Lubov (Morgan Mitchell, right) in A Gulag Mouse, now playing at Out North.

Annia Wyndham (Masha) provides much-needed comedic relief throughout Mouse, though the humor is very dark. Masha is the self-appointed ringleader of the bunkhouse, and her demands are backed up by her fury, fists, and acerbic wit. She has no love for newcomer Anastasia (Jill Sowerwine), who, she says, won’t last a week in the gulag before she dies. Anastasia, however, has other plans. “I will not survive,” she says, “But I will live.” Her presence brings hope into the bunkhouse for the first time. Svetlana (Tamar Shai) provides a strong base for the ensemble, a voice of wisdom and clarity in a world of guns, guards, and suffering. Quiet Prushka is the mouse (played by Danielle Rabinovitch), who has to find the strength to stand up to Masha for Anastasia’s life. Rounding out the cast is Aaron Wiseman in the roles of Evgeny and Ivanov, bookending the show with cruelty on one end and love on the other. A Gulag Mouse is uncomfortable to watch, but terribly compelling. The performances were all of a caliber that I haven’t seen elsewhere in town. It’s a synergy of the right cast, set, lighting, director, and script, telling a very difficult story. Jolly, a quiet, well-spoken Californian by way of England, used the strength he saw in his wife and mother during times of hardship as inspiration when he wrote this play for the Joining Pen and Sword Competition. “The play isn’t about the gulag,” Jolly said. “It’s about the way

women—well, all people, really, but especially women—find this eternal strength, that as a man you are in awe of.” This is Jolly’s first experience with Anchorage theater, and after the final bows I got to chat with him about his reactions to the show. “[Arlitia] took it a lot darker than I thought it would go, but I’m very happy with it. I was in the back crying the whole time. I know it’s the worst thing—a comedian laughing at his own jokes, or a playwright crying at his own show, but I was. I was crying the whole time.” At the reception, Jones said the actors were in the back hugging. “I wondered, when we first started, what I had in common with women in a gulag—it turns out, quite a lot.”

A Gulag Mouse Written by Arthur M. Jolly Directed by Arlitia Jones Playing now through April 7 8 p.m. Friday-Saturday 3 p.m. Sunday $20 general admission, $15 for students and seniors Centertix.net

ARTSLISTING>> DOWNTOWN EVENTS ALASKA HUMANITIES FORUM — The Anchorage Press presents a collection of photographs from the December 2012 Cell Phone Photo Contest. This exhibit includes a selection of the top-voted submissions as well as Press staff picks. (161 E. First Ave. Door 15) ANCHORAGE MUSEUM — Enjoy the new exhibition “Arctic Flight: A Century of Alaska Aviation” and the Anchorage School District Art Show. (625 C St.) ALASKA NATIVE ARTS FOUNDATION—Presents “Symbolic Multiplicity,” an exhibit and reception featuring Elizabeth Ellis (Alutiiq) exploring her cultural heritage and weaving symbolism from her travels around the world. (500 W. 6th Ave.) AK STARFISH CO. — Presents work by travel photographer Brian Montalbo, who will showcase photos taken from his latest expedition from Cairo to the summit of Kilimanjaro. (415 L St.) ARCTIC ROSE GALLERY AND ART CENTER — Presents the 37th

26

Annual Iditarod Art Show with the official artist of the Iditarod, Jon Van Zyle. Jon is a two-time Iditarod veteran and a member of the Iditarod Hall of Fame. (423 W. 5th Ave.) ARTIQUE LTD.— Presents oil paintings by Bill Barstow, Asia Freeman and Eleanor McMahon, and ceramics by Bill Campbell. (314 G St.) AURORA FINE ARTS — Presents “The Aurora Hunter,” Todd Salat and his aurora borealis photography. (737 W. Fifth Ave.) CABIN FEVER — Presents handthrown pottery by Homer artists Lisa Wood, Ahna Iredale, and Toni Maury. (650 W. Fourth Ave.) CAKE STUDIO — Presents the vivid, abstract acrylics of Stefanie Fields. (608 W. 4th Ave. Ste. 102) CHUGACH NATIONAL FOREST — Alaskan artist and Voices of the Wilderness artist in residence alumnus Susan Watkins will display a collection of paintings inspired by the landscapes she visited in Prince William Sound during her 2012 residency in Chugach National Forest office. (161 E. First Avenue, Door 8)

FUR RONDY SHOP — Photography by Blue Ice Alaska and paintings, mirrors, and scarves by Nancy Perry. (400 D St.) G STREET FOX — Presents the work of photographer Eberhard Brunner. (420 G St.) INTERNATIONAL GALLERY OF CONTEMPORARY ART— In the Center Gallery: Kevin G. Smith, “Kusko Living,” North Gallery: Ted Herlinger, “Time,” South Gallery: Swedish artist Andreas Andersson, “Symptoms of a Blown Head Gasket,” and in the Guest Room: British artist Cleo Pettitt, “Future Nostalgia.” (427 D St.) MIDNIGHT SUN CAFÉ — Presents paintings by Rebecca McVittie. (245 W. Fifth Ave. Ste. 106) OCTOPUS INK — Presents Anne Estes and her newest handmade pillow collection for the month of March. (410 G St.)

of colorful pieces in oil, entitled “Alaskan Observations,” featuring images of dog mushers, antique trucks, tandem bicycles, and landscapes. (608 W. 4th Ave. Suite 101)

artist Melissa Sanford and their work with silver dog and sled motif earrings, pins and necklaces. 2-Friends has a new line of Harry Barker doggie toys, treats and accessories. (341 E. Benson)

SNOW CITY CAFÉ— Presents Albert Lewis’s photography exhibit of the amazing dogs who run the Iditarod Sled Dog race in the Alaskan wilderness. (1034 W. 4th Ave.)

ALASKA PACIFIC UNIVERSITY GALLERIES— In the Peterson Gallery: Don Kolstad and his work “Oil and Water Do Mix.” In the ConocoPhillips Gallery: Tami Phelps and her exhibition “Serving Art.” (4101 University Dr.)

SNOW GOOSE —Presents photos from Alaskan Author James Sweeney. (717 Third Ave.) STEPHAN FINE ARTS —Presents bold, bright watercolor originals by Candyce Hoskins. (939 W. Fifth Ave.) SUBZERO LOUNGE — Presents a collection of oil paintings by local contemporary artist Cedar Leidigh. Show themes range from the reaction of the natural world to the technological revolution and the societal repercussions of mobile technology, to the ambivalent attitude of nature towards humankind. (612 F St.)

SIDE STREET ESPRESSO — Presents “Cedars Gee Unveiled.” Mixed media photography, watercolor, and sketches by artist Cedars Gee. (412 G St.)

AROUND TOWN

SEVIGNY STUDIOS— Presents Scott Clendaniel and a new series

2 Friends Gallery — Presents Leslie Pruett and silver jewelry

BUELL HOUSE OF HARLEY DAVIDSON—Presents works by motorcycle painter Kathy Williamson and photographs of Randy Brandon from Third Eye Photography. (4334 Spenard Rd.) KALADI BROTHERS — Kaladi Brothers Muldoon presents mixed media artist Claire Rowley. (12350 Industry Way Ste. 140) MIDDLE WAY CAFÉ— Presents “The Great Big HeART Show,” featuring work from 30 local artists. Shows through April 9. (1300 W. Northern Lights Blvd.)

longboards feature unique works of art, themed around ravens and hot air balloons, by fellow local artists. (751 E 36th Ave.) NATURAL CANVAS — Presents “Hall of Fame,” a work of oil and watercolors on canvas. (2819 Spenard Rd.) TAPROOT CAFÉ — Presents “Live,” a photo exhibit by Joel Adams. (3200 Spenard Rd.) TERRA BELLA — The Alaska Society of Outdoor and Nature Photographers sponsors the annual alaskaWILD contest and exhibition. (601 E. Dimond Blvd.) UAA STUDENT UNION GALLERY — The University of Alaska Anchorage Student Union Gallery is proud to present the “2D & 3D Invitational” beginning Thursday, March 21 and showing through April 4. Featuring the best artwork of UAA students as selected by UAA art faculty in the UAA Student Union Gallery. (3211 Providence Dr.)

Modern Dwellers — Handmade, individually finished birch longboards by Erskine Frank of Red Outdoor Equipment. Many of the

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27

HEALTH

Pink slip for prostate exams? A change in thinking on the often-dreaded test for men By Darius Davis, MD

W

ellness related issues are a booming business. New healthy living magazines arrive on newsstands daily. Organic is cool, smoking is not. Talk of exercise and healthy food permeate the mini-grocers and coffee shops of Anchorage. Even with this surge of salubrious energy there seems to be one group that consistently runs for cover. Men! The dreaded gloved finger exam has sent many a man packing. Some perceive this as an assault on their prostate that will mystically strip them of their dignity and soul, while simultaneously relieving that nagging urge to watch football on Sunday. First, get real. Second, the prostate exam’s reign of terror may be coming to an end. My name is Dr. Darius Davis and reader, have I got news for you! If your last visit to the doctor was at birth, let me get you up to speed. The basic adult physical includes a health history, some labs and an exam. Simple, in-office cancer screening adds a small level of complexity to the exam. Men will get a blood test and rectal exam. Women have the Pap test, pelvic exam, and the clinical breast exam. The colonoscopy is unisex and not part of simple screening. Certain recommendations for male testing have changed. In fact, men are at the precipice of having at least one of their dreams come true: living in a world without gratuitous prostate exams. Why all the changes? Well let me explain. Since I will be splashing medical terms around like water, let’s establish a baseline of knowledge. First off, the gland we are talking about is called the prostate. Never, ever call it the prostrate. Ever. Conveniently found about an index finger’s breadth from the anus, it secretes a milky fluid that accounts for over 50 per-

Men are at the precipice of having at least one of their dreams come true

cent of semen volume. The gloved finger test is called a digital rectal exam, or “DRE.” The prostate specific antigen, or “PSA,” is a protein produced in the prostate that can be measured in the blood. A person’s PSA level may be elevated for several reasons. Infection of the prostate or prostatitis can increase the number. Certain ethnic populations, African-Americans in particular, have potentially higher baseline numbers. And the reason for all the commotion is prostate cancer.

S

creening for prostate cancer was once an age-old rite of passage for most men (alFirst rule of prostrate exams—keep it in a doctor’s office (self exams are not advised). beit, not a welcome one). Medical Paul Rudd in the film This is 40. practitioners found proof that checking a PSA with, and sometimes without, a DRE would identify a significant number of cancers. The piece of the puzzle It means the paradigm has shifted, at least for the moment. The that was missing was how it affected outcomes. In other words, opportunity to become more involved in your health has never did prostate cancer screening save lives or improve quality of been greater, and the macho man has no excuse for not schedullife? The answer was reminiscent of the sound of crickets. More- ing a doctor’s appointment. over, it was discovered that in certain cases screening resulted in Sadly, men do not seem to drive healthcare appointments. Ofmore harm than good. Now you want to know how that could ten, decisions about family healthcare are made by women, and be possible. if men could take a tertiary role behind the family dog or cat they Let’s take an extreme worst-case scenario. Imagine you are a might. Fear, low prioritizing, social norms, and “feeling fine” all 50-year-old man. The PSA you get during a routine physical is play a role. Maybe with this news, men will be enthused and beelevated. The test is repeated and your PSA is still elevated. You come reacquainted with their health. Visions of Paul Rudd from are referred to urology for an ultrasound and maybe a biopsy. the movie This is 40, attempting a self-prostate exam, will be a Those tests show nothing or maybe a slow growing tumor—nei- distant memory (I’m not sure that maneuver is even possible). ther of which would be the death of you, nor cause any signifiThe decision to screen or not should be made after thoughtful cant health problems. In the mean time you have been fraught consultation with your health care provider. There are circumwith anxiety over the abnormal blood work and subjected to stances where it’s warranted. Ask questions. Take charge of your invasive tests that have the potential to cause bleeding, infec- health. Maybe make 2013 the year of the physical exam. Counttion and erectile dysfunction (these are the risks, not the normal less men are likely to get on board knowing a yearly health exam outcomes. In Anchorage we have particularly good urologists, may not affect their bottom line. but there’s always some risk with procedures). Because the harm - Darius Davis, MD, is board certified in Family Medican sometimes outweigh the benefit, it is no longer a solid recommendation to uniformly perform prostate cancer screening. cine and practices at Alpine Urgent Care and Sports MediMen should have a conversation with their doctor to discuss cine. Feel free to send questions or comments to Dr. Davis at risks, benefits, and individual strategies to evaluate their pros- feelbetter@alpineurgentcare.com. tate. This does not mean men get a free pass on the physical train.

SCIENCE

Cold proof A close look reveals life that endures in hidden, frozen worlds By Ned Rozell

CHENA HOT SPRINGS—“This is your chance, maybe your only chance in a lifetime, to see vole poop in a tunnel,” said Mike Taras, an expert tracker and wildlife educator for the Alaska Department of Fish and Game. Seven people kneel and then squint into a blue-white opening in the snow. We see tiny cigars, evidence that a red-backed or meadow vole had indeed paused there. Taras was correct—this was the first time most of us had seen vole poop in a snow tunnel. Taras was at Chena Hot Springs Resort as part of a conference devoted to Alaska’s perpetual resources, snow and ice. Teachers from around Alaska attended to soak up lesson ideas they might share with their students. The most accessible teaching laboratory for many of the teachers is just outside the door, Taras said. Tracking animals in snow and soil, a skill our species has lost over time, requires problem solving and teamwork. “Tracking is the origin of science,” Taras said. “Finding animals to survive on was once life or death.” While Taras waded through a winter’s worth of snow to point out the scratchy wing marks of a magpie or similar-size bird, another instructor worked in a white crater 30 feet away, levering bark off a dead birch tree with a screwdriver. Todd Sformo of Barrow traveled the farthest south to reach Chena Hot Springs. A few years ago, he studied insect physiol-

28

ogy for his graduate studies at the University of Alaska Fairbanks. On the grounds of the hot springs resort, he searched for a beetle that is coldproof. When Sformo was at UAF, he found that Alaska’s red flat bark beetle does not perish until the temperature drops to negative 238 degrees Fahrenheit. Given that the coldest temperature recorded on this planet was negative 129 degrees in Antarctica, the red flat bark beetle is perhaps the hardiest creature in Alaska. Sformo also appeared to be cold hardened from his time in the farthest north settlement in Alaska. He wore no hat as he dug for hibernating insects and his jacket had “POLAR BEAR PATROL” written on the back in glow-in-the-dark letters. One of his duties with the North Slope Borough is to discourage polar bears that wander into Barrow. “I found something,” said Ben Armentrout, a teacher from Anchorage who was, with his own screwdriver, working a dead spruce near Sformo. With a gloved hand, he extended a yellow grub toward Sformo. “That’s a larvae of a beetle,” Sformo says. Armentrout dropped the worm into a vial to bring indoors. He wanted to see what happened when he carried it inside a warm building. With a trained eye and a little practice, the Anchorage teacher soon found another insect, a handsome black adult beetle he plucked from beneath spruce bark. “That’s an Upis,” Sformo said, referring to another beetle for which there is no common name. “It’s freeze-tolerant. He’s up

The insect had survived freezing, an experience that would have killed the humans in the room.

Todd Sformo of the North Slope Borough Department of Wildlife Management in Barrow looks for hibernating insects in a birch tree. Photo by Ned Rozell

there away from the snow because these freeze-tolerant ones want to be exposed to cold right away.” A few hours later, back in a heated dining room, magic happened. For probably the first time since they crawled beneath loose bark in September or October, the creatures stirred. In a different universe than the cold, quiet one it endured for the past five months, the black Upis beetle skittered over Armentrout’s hand. The insect had survived freezing, an experience that would have killed the humans in the room. It reminded Sformo of his college days, when he would test, but not always find, the cold limits of these astonishing animals that live all around us. “I took a bunch of them down to minus 74 (degrees Celsius, about minus 100 Fahrenheit) for 24 hours,” he said of the insect crawling on Armentrout’s ring finger. “All of them came back to life.” - Ned Rozell is a science writer for the University of Alaska Geophysical Institute. March 28 - April 3, 2013

UPCOMING EVENTS for ANCHORAGE CYCLISTS MARCH

30TH

Anchorage Press Haiku Contest 2013 COMPOSE A HAIKU BASED ON ONE OF THE FOLLOWING PROMPTS:

His (or her) vengeance Sequestered Barmegeddon The non-apology

TO ENTER

Artful

TEXT (540) 328-0287

Blackened Breaking the ice Is it really 3 a.m.? Propaganda The way things are

EMAIL contest@anchoragepress.com DELIVER 540 E. 5th Avenue Anchorage, Alaska, 99501

Wild card

Include your name, city of residence and poem(s)

(choose your own topic)

DEADLINE: APRIL 18, 2013

March 28 - April 3, 2013

4TH

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29

Audition Notice “Jesus Christs” based on a novel by A.J. Langguth

A everybody has one. B

(adapted for the stage by George Blair)

"QSJMQN'JSTU$POHSFHBUJPOBM$IVSDI  &/PSUIFSO-JHIUT#MWE  1SPEVDUJPOXJMMCF.BZBOE QN BOE.BZ QN

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March 28 - April 3, 2013

film

Disappointing debauchery

By Bob Grimm

I

The film plays out as if Sofia Coppola decided to make a Girls Gone Wild video.

Badlands (Blu-ray) Criterion Movie: A Special Features: B+

For a movie about hard partying college students, Spring Breakers isn’t much fun

f you are longing to see Vanessa Hudgens naked in a pool with James Franco doing his best impersonation of Gary Oldman in True Romance, then Spring Breakers just might be for you. If you prefer a movie with a script, a sense of direction and sans James Franco doing his best Gary Oldman-in-True Romance impersonation, stay far, far away. Personally, I hated this piece of junk with enough vitriol to fill the ocean surrounding that panhandle state where many East Coast college students go to party their faces off. It’s vapid, repetitious, unfunny and downright annoying to watch. Considering the cast assembled, and the notion of four college girls going on a crime spree so they can afford a spring break trip, I thought I was in for some fun. The film plays out as if Sofia Coppola decided to make a Girls Gone Wild video. Director Harmony Korine (who wrote the extremely hard-to-watch Kids back in the day) is shooting for some sort of dreamscape feel, replete with trance music, people talking slow, and slow, slow visuals. Given what the characters are actually doing and saying, he achieves something closer to badmushroom-induced nightmare than dreamscape. Candy (Hudgens), Faith (Selena Gomez), Brit (Ashley Benson) and Cotty (Rachel Korine) are bored at college, and they’ll do anything for a break. They hold up a chicken restaurant, get some money and head to Florida, where they will wear nothing but bikinis for the remainder of the film. After a night of snorting cocaine off of boobies, they are arrested and then eventually bailed out by Alien (Franco), an underground rapper with a big grill, lots of guns, and a bed covered with money. I thought that Franco’s appearance would take the movie in a fun, gangster direction. Such is not the case, because Korine’s screenplay is virtually nonexistent and his editing style requires footage and dialogue to repeat again and again. So you essentially feel stuck in place watching much of this movie. Gomez’s Faith does say she wishes one could just press a freeze button and make spring break last forever, so perhaps that’s why Korine went for his repetitive, loopy vibe. I think it’s because he didn’t have enough real material for a 90-minute movie. There are no moments in this film where it feels as if performers actually had to learn some lines. Take, for instance, a scene in which Franco is describing the contents of Alien’s room. It’s as if Korine just turns a camera on, tells Franco to ramble about the

HOMEVIEWING

stuff in the room, and calls that a take. Yes, many films are full of improv moments, but Spring Breakers feels like one terribly long, extremely unsuccessful improv. There is one semi-inspired sequence in the film, with Alien showing off his sensitive side by singing the Britney Spears ballad “Everytime.” The moment is accompanied by footage of Alien and the girls robbing and beating spring breakers in slow motion. It’s almost funny. For every moment that is almost good, there are 10 that are not. Franco also throws together a song about one of the girls needing to return home after getting shot in the arm. You won’t be humming this one to yourself on the drive home. Korine has directed features before (Julien Donkey-Boy being one of them). He’s also directed a lot of music videos. This movie stands as his longest, most pointless music video. In the hands of a more playful director, there could’ve been a fun movie to be had with Spring Breakers. The basic plotline is ripe for some nasty, cynical satire. Too bad that idea isn’t accompanied by at least half of a decent script. Now showing at Century 16 (301 East 36th Ave.) and Regal Cinemas Tikahtnu Stadium (1102 North Muldoon Road).

Spring Breakers Rated R Directed by Harmony Korine Starring James Franco, Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens 94 minutes

With this, you get one of the greatest American feature directorial debuts in cinematic history. A grandiose statement for sure, but we are talking about Terrence Malick here, and the man is a magician behind the camera. In my years of writing movie reviews, I’ve probably taken the most heat for liking all of Malick’s movies. I picked The Tree of Life as the year’s best film a couple of years ago, inspiring many to watch it, which also inspired a lot of hate mail. Malick’s movies are as unorthodox as they come, basically poetry in motion. If you hate poetry, and you hate a movie that takes its time, then be careful popping a Malick film into your player. That said, I would probably call this movie one of his more commercial offerings. Martin Sheen stars as Kit, a character most definitely based on real life serial killer Charles Starkweather. Starkweather and his young girlfriend, Caril-Ann Fugate, went on a killing spree in the late ‘50s. Sissy Spacek plays Holly, who is essentially a representation of Fugate. The film came out in ’73, and immediately established Malick as one of a kind. There’s nothing sensationalistic about his approach. He doesn’t’ try to explain Kit’s motives, and Holly never really explains why she goes along for the ride. Yet, it is entirely clear why Kit is sick and why Holly doesn’t resist. Malick and the performers leave it to the viewer to figure things out. As for dialogue, this might still be the best script Malick has ever written. He’s the rare filmmaker who can use a voiceover and not make it feel like a storytelling cop-out (Blade Runner, anyone?). Holly’s VO enhances and beautifies the story, rather than explaining things because the narrative has gotten confusing. I had never seen Badlands on anything but crappy TV transfers and sloppy DVDs. Seeing it on Blu-ray is an absolute revelation. The imagery is as breathtaking as anything ever put to film. Do I sound like I am over-praising? Just know that this man is one of my favorite directors, and this will always be one of my very favorite movies. Special features: A nice new documentary featuring recently conducted interviews with Sheen and Spacek. You also get an older documentary on Starkweather, interviews with the editor and producer, and one of those sweet Criterion booklets.

Zero Dark Thirty (Blu-ray) Sony Pictures Movie: A Special Features: C

There were a lot of Oscar snubs that I whined about this year, but no snub was more shocking than excluding Kathryn Bigelow from the director’s race. Bigelow put forth her best film, much better than The Hurt Locker, for which she actually won an Oscar. Bigelow has essentially made two great movies here. One is an All the President’s Men-type investigative film, while the other is a striking action movie as we see Navy SEALS take out Osama Bin Laden in their infamous night raid on that bizarre compound. Both portions of the film are topnotch and not to be missed. Bigelow has evolved from one of the coolest action directors around (Point Break bitches!) to one of the coolest overall directors. Special Features: You only get a few short featurettes on the making of the film. This one deserved more.

filmevents>> Any Day Now — Set in the 1970s, this audience-pleasing drama is both hilarious and heartbreaking. Rudy (Alan Cumming) is a drag queen whose outrageous exterior hides a lonely but lovable interior. Going to the apartment next door to complain about noise, he finds Marco (Isaac Leyva), a mentally handicapped teenager, abandoned by his mother who has been arrested for prostitution and drugs. Rudy reluctantly and temporarily takes care of Marco, but soon finds himself wanting to turn his guardianship into something more permanent. Meanwhile, Rudy meets attractive, straight-arrow, closeted Paul (Garrett Dillahunt), who attends his show and likes what he sees. Paul works in the DA’s office, which comes in handy when Rudy gets into a fight with social services over Marco. As Rudy and Paul are drawn together and become a couple, they seek to adopt Marco, but meet with prejudice and overwhelming obstacles. Cumming gives a powerhouse performance as a man with a lot of love to give.

March 28 - April 3, 2013

Showing Monday, April 1, at 7:45 p.m. both days at the Beartooth Theatrepub. (1230 W. 27th Ave.) Koch — Former Mayor Ed Koch was the quintessential New Yorker. Ferocious, charismatic and hilariously blunt, Koch, who died in February at the age of 88, ruled New York from 1978 to 1989—a down-and-dirty decade of grit, graffiti, near-bankruptcy and rampant crime. First-time filmmaker (and former Wall Street Journal reporter) Neil Barsky has crafted an intimate and revealing portrait of this intensely private man, his legacy as a political titan, and the town he helped transform. The tumult of his three terms included a fiercely competitive 1977 election, an infamous 1980 transit strike, the burgeoning AIDS epidemic, landmark housing renewal initiatives and an irreparable municipal corruption scandal. Through candid interviews and rare archival footage, Koch thrillingly chronicles the personal and political toll of running the world’s most wondrous city in a time of upheaval

and reinvention. Showing Monday, April 1, at 5:30 p.m. both days at the Beartooth Theatrepub. (1230 W. 27th Ave.) Monsoon Wedding — Mira Nair directs this charming family drama about a very chaotic Indian wedding. Lalit Verma is a wealthy father who is trying to see that his daughter Aditi’s wedding goes off without a hitch. With little patience for Western ways, he is dead set on seeing the nuptials done properly and traditionally. Disillusioned with her long time relationship with Vikram, a man who is almost twice her age. Aditi suddenly agrees to submit to an arranged marriage with Hemant, an engineer from Houston. Yet as the ceremony nears, she gets cold feet and returns to see her former lover, even though it could spell disaster for everyone involved. Meanwhile, Aditi’s comely 17-year-old cousin Ayesha is coming to terms with her blossoming sexuality and has her sights set on Rahul, another relative who is a college student in

Australia. Then there is Rai, also Aditi’s cousin, who has a shocking revelation to make. Showing Wednesday, April 3, at 7:30 p.m. at Out North Contemporary Art House. Tickets available at the door. (3800 DeBarr Rd.) FRIDAY FAMILY MOVIES— Grab a bag of popcorn or a snack and settle in for a new favorite or classic movie. Call 343-2818 for movie titles. Fridays, 3-5 p.m. in the Mountain View Library Community Room (120 Bragaw Street)

PLANETARIUM SHOWS WISH YOU WERE HERE — Pink Floyd’s rock ‘n’ roll masterpiece comes to life in this full-dome music and light show that interprets these classic albums through mesmerizing HD graphics. This is not a laser light show, but the next generation of computer generated imagery. Audience advisory: Adult subject matter. 5 p.m. Sundays

at the Anchorage Museum. (625 C St.) OUR LIVING CLIMATE — Visualize the Earth’s climate history by witnessing a mass extinction event, the Ice Age and the advent of the industrial revolution. Learn about the delicate atmospheric balance required to support life. Understand how scientists study climate change, including human impact. 3 p.m. Saturdays at the Anchorage Museum. (625 C St.) GUIDED STAR SHOW— Join a science educator on a narrated tour through the night sky in the planetarium. Guided Star Shows vary based on night sky occurrences. 12:30 p.m. Saturdays and Sundays and 6:30 p.m. First Fridays at the Anchorage Museum (625 C St.)

embark on a geology field trip back in time, they are thrown into a fantastic voyage where they witness incredible geological wonders and learn about the mysterious process that created present-day continents. 12:30 p.m. Saturday and Sunday at the Anchorage Museum. (625 C St.) STRANGE PLANETS — There are nearly 800 alien planets in our galaxy… and that number grows every week. These planets outside our solar system, called exoplanets, orbit around distant stars. Travel to these strange planets and learn how NASA’s Kepler mission led to these amazing discoveries. A museum educator guides this journey and answers your questions. 3 p.m. Saturday at the Anchorage Museum. (625 C St.)

DINOSAUR PASSAGE TO PANGAEA — This new animated adventure explains one of the greatest geological events in Earth’s history: The separation of the supercontinent Pangaea. When two children

31

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Member since 2002

In Alaska, we prefer crampons to loafers. And when we struggle to get to the top, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always with the help of close friends. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s how I feel about Alaska Public Media. I havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t found a better guide in Alaska. Become a member.

Life. Informed. (907) 550-8400

34

alaskapublic.org

ALASKA PUBLIC MEDIA

March 28 - April 3, 2013

To Place a FREE ad: Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the Scoop:

DROP OFF: Mon-Fri 8am-5pm at 5751 E. MayďŹ&#x201A;ower Ct. off Palmer-Wasilla Hwy. FAX: 352-2277 â&#x20AC;˘ EMAIL: classads@frontiersman.com â&#x20AC;˘ DEADLINE: Friday, 9 a.m. for following week

Ad Content: _________________________________________________________

1) Must be in-state.

2) One item per ad.

___________________________________________________________________

4) Price must appear in ad.

___________________________________________________________________

6) Private parties only.

Name: _______________________________________ Phone: _______________

3) 4 lines.

5) Must be $200 or less.

7) No ďŹ rewood, animals, rentals, employment, etc.

Address: ___________________________________________________________

8) Items only for sale.

107 Hms/Sale Wasilla

110 Homes for Sale Out of State Attention Snowbirds!

4BD/2BA Corner Acre lot, Tons of storage/upgrades, ready to live in. Virtual Tour

http://fusion.realtour vision.com/84386

$298,000 907-982-1948

109 Homes/Sale Mat-Su

WOW!

Whispering Birch @ Kashwitna 2 BD, 1.5 BA on 3.26 Ac, located in a rural subdivision. DR, LR,offc, bonus room, shop. W/D, applances, Storage room for toys and a motorhome.

$269,000

Qualifiers please call 907-495-1018 for appointment. Adjacent 2 AC lot w/Parks Hwy frontage also available. WILLOW AREA

Have a Nice Home in Datil, NM on 5.35 acres with 30 x 50 insulated RV garage and 16 x16 shed. Priced to sell! Call for details, (907)892-0091

200 Apts. for Rent/Palmer Lrg. 2BD apt. gas & water included. No pets or smoking in or out. $800 mo. $500 sec.dep. 746-4512 Nice 2 & 3 BD $845 & Up, Incl heat. Cable Ready We Luv our Military 907-715-6571

135 Cabins

carpet near Mat-Su Regional, N/P, $650 mo + electric. Call 229-0552 707-7484 3BD w/gar, DW, W/D, fireplace, heat incl., near hospital. $1095 mo. + $1000 dep. 907-744-0359

Available 2Bdrm View of Finger Lake

Coin-op W/D, htd. gar, new carpet, N/S, N/P, $950 + deposit & elec., Includes heat. 227-2788 688-1162

Very Nice Large 2 BD, 1 BA, double sinks Tri-Plex. Fireplace, vaulted ceilings, private deck, lg. lawn, paved parking, Heated garage, coin-op W/D. Tenant pays gas & electric. $900 + dep. Avail. on 4/10/13. Call 376-0271 355-4829

Efficiency All utilities paid. Includes basic cable. $700 & up 232-2665

WANTED: Small to Medium Cabin for removal/relocation.. 562-5010 229-4910

200 Apts. for Rent/Palmer 1BD, new paint &

205 Apts. for Rent/Wasilla

FORECLOSURE SALE 04/11/2013 at 10:00 AM

Nesbett Memorial Courthouse 825 W 4th Ave, Anchorage, AK

Property Type: Single Family Residence Property Address: 940 S. Dimond St. Palmer, AK 99645 Assessed Value:$133,200.00 Minimum Bid: $105,000.00

â&#x20AC;&#x153;PROPERTY SOLD AS IS, WHERE IS.â&#x20AC;?

For additional information visit: www.fnbalaska.com/propertysales Refer to web ad #524 or call (907) 777-3384

Sale Date and Bid Amount are Subject to Change

* Sorry, we cannot accept phone calls for free ads

Free Ads run in the Tuesday, Friday & Sunday Frontiersman, Wednesday Valley Sun, plus Thursdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Anchorage Press and Fridayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ArcticWarrior

205 Apts. for Rent/Wasilla 3BD, 2 mi. from Wasilla P.O. on Wasilla Fishhook, $950/mo 373-3047 1st. fl. 2 bdrm kit/din

LR W/D gar/stor/heat water/trash pickup. on Parks near Hospital $1000/mo Avail. now! 907-841-4558

Efficiency Apt. Utilities incl. New Kitchen , 3Mi from Wasilla Fred Meyer. $575. 373-3047

303 Business Financial â&#x20AC;&#x153;Credit problems? No problem!â&#x20AC;? No way.

Well-built home, 2BD (space for a 3rd), 2BA, maintenance-free exterior, large covered back porch, vaulted ceilings, DR, kitchen, SS appliances, utility room with W/D, security system. Large. great room with a natural river rock hearth and Toyo fireplace heater. Detached heated gar/shop and carport are all on 50 Ac with Parks Hwy frontage. $359,000 Cash or conventional financing. Qualifiers please call the owner for an appointment. 907-495-1018.

March 28 - April 3, 2013

Bella Vista Townhomes

3bd, 2.5ba, 1310 sq.ft., garage, granite countertops, W&D, community park, Colony School District. For more information visit: bellavistaAK.com or call 907-352-1824

BEWARE Employment offers that suggest guaranteed out of state or overseas positions, glamorous travel, gifts or high wages for limited experience may be deceptive or unethical in nature. Please contact the following for possible information:

Better Business Bureau at (907)562-0704 Wage & Hour Admin AK Dept of Labor at (907)269-4900

A poor credit history takes time to repair, no matter what anybody claims. The Federal Trade Commission says no company can remove accurate or timely information from your credit report. Learn more about managing credit and debt at ftc.gov/credit. A message from the Frontiersman and the FTC.

A Rare Find - Willow Area

305 Business Opps

BUDGET TIGHT? Ask about our home delivery specials and

AFFORDABLE

HOME DELIVERY CALL TODAY 352-2251

400 Employment

505 Events/Meetings

Housekpr, Fairview. License/bond refs, no allergy smoke. brewerswife@ hotmail

Digital Photography Simplified workshop teaches how to use your digital camera through instruction and hands-on exercises. The workshop covers the basic concepts of photography for beginners. Saturday, April 6, at UAA from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. $149. For more info & to register visit www.raybulson.com/

M^Wj m_bb j^[ \kjkh[ ^ebZ5

          

workshops.html.

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E9JC=LJ=K=9J;@H9JLA;AH9FLKO9FL=<

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Outside Sales Representative

NOW XNLV66516

9) Limit 3 Free Ads per household per week.*

TO APPLY: Learn more today by sending a resume and cover letter to: Cheryl Metiva at Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman PO BOX 873509 Wasilla, AK 99687-3509 You may also send your materials by email to addirector@ frontiersman.com or drop them off at 5751 E. Mayflower Court off the Palmer-Wasilla Hwy.

Come grow with the Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman! We are actively recruiting for an outside sales person to contact local businesses about print and online advertising opportunities.

The successful applicant will be a highly motivated self-starter who is goal oriented and has good time management skills. You also must have a professional demeanor and appearance, as well as good computer skills.

You'll be rewarded with an existing client base, guaranteed commissions to get you started, an auto allowance, and an excellent benefits package including health insurance, 401K and more. This position requires dependable transportation, a valid Alaska driver's license, good DMV record and proof of auto insurance. The Mat Su Valley Frontiersman is an Equal Opportunity Employer

35

Newspaper

The Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman in Wasilla, Alaska, has an immediate opening for a

Web Press Operator

Come work for our growing printing operation. The Frontiersman is a three-times-a-week newspaper with a thriving commercial printing operation.

This is a full-time, 40-hour-per-week job that comes with a full benefits package. The candidate needs to have a minimum of two years' experience printing full-process color on a Goss Community or similar web press.

Applicants must be in good physical condition, able to lift 80 pounds, and available to work nights and weekends.

E-mail inquiries to: ryan.sleight@frontiersman.com, or pick up an application at our office, 5751 East Mayflower Court, just off the Palmer-Wasilla Highway near Mile 4.5

615 Building Supplies

- Good Supply of large logs from Kodiak- Nice Lumber- Good PricesHave a Building Project?

Call Valley Sawmill 907-357-3081 and talk with Vern

615 Building Supplies

PROTECT YOUR ROOF FROM DAMAGE t4OPX%JWFSUFST t4OPX4UPQT t7FOUFE4PGýUT

530 E. Steel Loop, Palmer

746-7800 1-800-478-6242

Metal Roofing & Building Components Locally Owned & Operated

615 Building Supplies Bill's Building Components ASC Steel Roofing; Norclad; Skyline; Trilap Steel Siding. With Duratech XL paint system for lifetime warranty. Grace Ice & Water Shield. Foundation Flashings

Delivery Available Visa & MC

745-4515 1-800-478-4516

632 Fuel/Heating Firewood for Sale Tree length Birch Saw log Spruce Contact Bond Bros Logging at 715-4019

637 Household TV Cabinet with 3-Shelves Royal Blue, $50. Please Call 373-0770 Wooden Computer Table on wheels, 4 shelves, $50. Call 373-0770 4 Storage Shelves, 2 for $50 or 1 for $30. 373-0770

Swivel Bar Stools $20 each. Please call 907-373-0770

652 Pets/Supplies Spaying and Neutering is Important to us! Bring us your puppies and we will spay your Momma dog at NO COST! For more info call Alaska Dog & Puppy Rescue (907)745-7030 Spayed/neutered and vaccinated semi-wild cats looking for a warm, caring and long term home at a working farm or barn. Not house pets. I will provide supplies and help with the move. Call if your interested in adopting.229-6885 AK CAT RESCUE Cute, cuddle bugs for adoption! www.akcat.org Ask how you can get your momma cat spayed. (907)232-4444

652 Pets/Supplies "Mat Valley Kitties is in need of Foster Homes for Adult Cats. We can supply all the necessities, you just supply the love! Must have a quiet area separated from your pets. If you can help, please call Susan @ 841-7711. matvalleykitties.org

ATTENTION Frontiersman Readers!

It has been brought to our attention that a puppy scam is targeting animal lovers. Readers are asked to wire money to a seller who is either out of the country or out of state, with the promise that the seller will ship the animal once the wire transfer has been received.

BE AWARE

If you can not speak to a person locally through a phone call or email without verification, please make sure not to give out ANY personal information. We at the Frontiersman take every precaution to protect our readers and ask that they look for red flags and consider the following when purchasing an animal: • Purchase locally • Be wary of ads that do not list a telephone number, but an email address only • Have the animal examined by a vet before purchasing • Never wire money or send a check • Be sure to obtain the pet at the time of purchase.

652 Pets/Supplies “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” Sir Winston Churchill Make a Positive Change in Your Life and That of a Homeless Puppy or Dog!

Come join the ranks of dedicatedvolunteers who comprise Alaska Dog & Puppy Rescue. Our volunteering needs include being a foster home, helping out at adoption clinics, working on fundraising,and much more. So, please bring along your energy, talent, & mostly your heart. To help out, call 745-7030 or email us at

adpr03@yahoo.com

662 Sporting Goods Golf Balls Galore! $1 a bag! Please call 373-0770

670 Want to Buy/Trade Warn Winch Wanted for Parts Please call 745-1644 or 355-0210

Classified Advertising (907)352-2290

Alaska SPCA Low Cost Spay Neuter Clinic 907-562-2999 549 W. Int’l Airport Rd, Anchorage Spay-neuters, microchips, rabies, vaccinations, nail clips, MOA licenses Great prices year-round www.alaskaspca.org

Alaska Cat Adoption Team

is seeking good homes for its great foster kittens. Lots of kittens available, as well as some adults. Call 982-2228 or see them at www.alaskacat adoptionteam.org

Advocates for Dog and Puppy Wellness

Offers microchippping at PetZoo, once a month. Keep your pet safe, w/ a HomeAgain microchip! Please check our website for the next event date www.Advocatesfordogandpuppywellness.org

Rescue Cats for Adoption

Fixed, with shots and Microchip Money back Guarantee Find out about our reduced adoption fees. Call 980-8898 clearcreekkitties@gmail.com https://sites.google.com/site/clearcreekcatrescue/home

Need Something? You’ll find it in the

CLASSIFIEDS! 36

March 28 - April 3, 2013

March 28 - April 3, 2013

37

THIS WEEK IN

American History March 28, 1776: March 29, 1973:

THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE IN BETWEEN

WEEKLY REVIEWS ON LOCAL EATS

March 30, 1870 March 31, 1776: April 1, 1789: April 2, 1917: April 3, 1860:

DeAnza founds San Francisco; 247 colonists to use natural harbor as northernmost settlement Last US troops depart South Viet Nam; 67 remaining US POW’s released** The Fifteenth Amendment adopted; grants all men the right to vote Abigail Adams urges President to “remember the ladies” in fight for independence US House of Representatives elects first Speaker Woodrow Wilson asks US Congress for Declaration of War against Germany Pony Express debuts; Mail carried 1,800 miles in 10 days**

March 29, 1973: Last US troops depart South Viet Nam; 67 remaining POW’s freed

EVERY THURSDAY in the

Under the provisions of the Paris Peace Accords signed on January 27, 1973, the last US troops left South Vietnam on this day in 1973. As part of the Accords, Hanoi would release the last 67 of its acknowledged American prisoners of war at the same time. This would end nearly 10 years of US military presence in that country and would bring the total of released POWs to 591. Roughly 8500 US civilians would remain in South Vietnam as technical advisors, but only a Defense Attaché Office and a few Marine guards would stay at the American Embassy in Saigon. It is estimated that there were between 800,000 and 1.1 million war-related deaths in this war. The United States lost 58,220 service members. April 3, 1860: Pony Express debuts; Mail carried 1,800 miles in 10 days

On this day in 1860, the first Pony Express mail delivery began, with riders leaving St Joseph, Missouri and Sacramento, California, carrying mail packets both directions. California, which had been a state for 10 years, was disconnected from the rest of the states. Until that time, mail would be carried by ships or by stagecoaches, and would take weeks or months to arrive at its destination. The Pony Express system would instead use horse and rider relay teams to deliver the mail. On April 13, the westbound rider and mail packet completed the 1,800 mile journey and arrived in Sacramento, beating the eastbound packet’s arrival in St Joseph by two days and setting a new standard for speedy mail delivery. The new venture created by owners of an overland freight business involved over 150 relay stations along a pioneer trail across Missouri, Kansas, Nebraska, Wyoming, Colorado, Utah and Nevada and into California. Riders were paid $25 a week and carried up to 20 pounds of mail, changing horses every 10 to 15 miles. The riders were young and strong, and several went on to renown, including William “Buffalo Bill” Cody, who reportedly began his Pony Express career at age 14. The riders set their fastest time delivering Lincoln’s inaugural address to California in less than eight days. The initial cost of Pony Express delivery was $5 for every half-ounce of mail. With the advent of the first transcontinental telegraph line in October 1861, the Pony Express ceased operations. Despite its brief history, the Pony Express captivated America’s imagination and helped win federal aid for a more economical overland postal system, contributed to the economy of the towns on its route, and sparked interest in the Western frontiers. The legend of the lone Pony Express rider galloping across the Old West to deliver the mail lives on today.

Input is welcome, email steve.abeln@anchoragepress.com

38

March 28 - April 3, 2013

PUZZLES Code quote In these Code Quotes from America’s history, each letter given is a code consisting of another letter. To solve this Code Quote, you must decode the puzzle by replacing each letter with the correct one. An example is shown. A ‘clue’ is available if you need extra help. Example: G E O R G E W A S H I N G T O N Is coded as: W J A M W J G I T C X Z W F A Z

B  U X EBXOX  M AT M  UTGDBGZ   BGL M BM N M BHGL  T K X   F H K X   W TGZ X K H NL   M H   M A X  EBU X K M BX L  M ATG  L M TGW BGZ   T K F BX L .  BY  M A X  T F X K BVTG  I X HIE X   XOX K  TEEH P  IK BOT M X  UTGDL   M H  V HG M K HE  M A X  BLLN X  H Y  M A X BK   VN K K XGVR… M A X  UTGDL   PBEE   W X IK BOX   M A X  I X HIE X   H Y  TEE  IK HI X K M R   - -  N G M BE  M A X BK  VA BE W K XG  P T DX  NI   A HF X E X LL  HG  M A X  V HG M BG XG M   M A X BK  YT M A X K L  V HG J N X K X W.   M A HF TL   CX YY X K L HG Hint:  Governor of Virginia, this educator and diplomat signed the Declaration of Independence.   Last week’s answer:  “In other words, a democratic government is the only one in which those who vote for a tax can escape the obligation to pay it.”  Alexis de Tocqueville

SUDOKU

last week’s solution

Sudoku puzzles too easy? Too hard? Write us at: contact@anchoragepress.com

CROSSWORD HEX NUTS ACROSS 1 Epitaph start 5 Spoke from a soapbox 11 Inner city, e.g. 20 Crease remover 21 “The — Supremacy” (2004 film) 22 In touch with who one is 23 Billiards targets 25 Astonishing 26 Gazes 27 Opera house song 29 “... there — Santa Claus” 30 Twice DI 31 Flaming 32 George Lucas collection 36 Tennis’ Björn 37 Attend (to) 39 Norman Vincent — 40 Boise-to-Billings dir. 41 Some thorax attachments 44 Swiss artist Paul 46 Big fairs 50 Literary 67-Across girl 51 Vintage Olds

LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS

March 28 - April 3, 2013

52 54 55 59 63 64 65 66 67 68 71 72 73 74 75 76 80 81 82 83 84 86 88 90 95 97

Lead-in for la la “Hello, Hadrian!” Mobile site 1970s sitcom siblings Dueling swords Swarm (with) Alley — “I’m all —!” From Zurich, e.g. 61-Down purchases, e.g. — New Guinea (Pacific nation) Oahu, e.g. Water, to Fifi Salve plant Most plain Things to pick or pluck Fiduciary Thing to pick “Told ya!” Crawler with antennae Wall art Dècor option Rights gp. Some pips Supply with guns Perp’s out

99 100 101 106 107 108 109 110 112 116 119 120 121 122 123 124

Seal school Morales of “Mi Familia” Stanley Cup contenders Hesitate due to doubt Race unit “— for Cookie” Starchy pudding ingredient Lethargic state Waterway with many locks This puzzle’s theme Toward a nation’s interior Wallop Descartes or Lacoste Slob’s quality Corrects, as a manuscript River of Belgium

DOWN 1 Rose’s fruit 2 Gully creator 3 Audibly excited fans 4 Make bigger 5 Mitch Miller’s instrument 6 Legendary birds 7 Diving shorebird 8 Yummy tidbit 9 Catches in a web 10 Yearn for 11 Letters on a battleship 12 Person on a pension 13 Fashion designer Bill 14 Ski chalet style, often 15 Rebelling Turner 16 Puncturing tool 17 “The Gift” director Sam 18 Golf’s Els 19 Patronage 24 Snoop 28 Stopped sleeping 31 Dept. of Justice org. 32 Sown thing 33 Metal mixture 34 Ryan or Tatum 35 Irritate 37 Mushroom parts 38 Tony winner Kazan 42 Singes 43 Jeered 45 Spirit of a culture 47 Protective wall 48 Make trite

49 Having feeling 51 Rife 53 Cleave 55 Hands out 56 Court case 57 Competence 58 Attack from all sides 60 Stephen of “Bad Behaviour” 61 Popular pop 62 Loved ones 64 Talk up 68 Olympic figure skater Cohen 69 Math class: Abbr. 70 Kramer of “Seinfeld” 71 São — 73 Important time

75 77 78 79 80 85 87 89 90 91 92 93 94 96 98 101

Trademark “No man is — to his valet” Come from behind to win Arctic people Quartet minus one Strike callers — -di-dah Las Vegas’ — Palace Explanatory drawing Cook, as onion rings Slow absorptions Red Bull ingredient Title for a knight Actor Chuck or singer Lila Hound breed Small intestine division

102 103 104 105 106 110 111 113 114 115 117 118

“— diem!” Heroic poems Kunta — (“Roots” role) Demi of film Quartet minus two K.P. veggie Baking qtys. Canon camera option “— bono” (“To what purpose?”) Fleur-de- — Capacious vase Gen — (post-’65 arrival)

39

NEWS OF THE WEIRD By Chuck Shepherd

Holy handguns

One of the many decisions greeting Pope Francis, as Salon. com pointed out, is whether to officially recognize a Patron Saint of Handgunners—as urged by a U.S. organization of activists for more than 20 years. According to legend, St. Gabriel Possenti rescued an Italian village from a small band of pillagers (and perhaps rapists) in the 19th century by shooting at a lizard in the road, killing it with one shot, which supposedly so terrified the bandits that they fled. No humans were harmed, activists now point out, signifying the handgun was obviously a force for good. The head of the St. Gabriel Possenti Society has noted that, however far-fetched the “lizard incident” may be, it was rarely questioned until U.S. anti-gun activists gained strength in the 1980s.

Can’t possibly be true

Though Americans may feel safe that the Food and Drug Administration approves a drug only for certain specific uses, the U.S. Court of Appeals in New York ruled in December that drug company salespeople have a First Amendment right to claim that drugs approved for only one use can be marketed for nonapproved uses, as well. Doctors and bio-ethicists seemed outraged, according to the Los Angeles Times, generally agreeing with a University of Minnesota professor who called the decision “a complete disgrace. What this basically does is destroy drug regulation in the United States.” ***** Denials of disability allowances in the town of Basildon, England, near London, are handled at the Acorn House courthouse, on the fourth floor, where afflicted people who believe they were wrongly rejected for benefits must present their appeals. However, in November, zealous government safety wardens, concerned about fire-escape dangers, closed off the fourth floor to wheelchair-using people. Asked one woman, turned away in early February, “Why are they holding disability tribunals in a building disabled people aren’t allowed in?” (In February, full access resumed.) ***** Among the helpful civic classes the city government in Oakland, California, set up earlier this year for its residents was one on how to pick locks (supposedly to assist people who had accidentally locked themselves out of their homes), and lock-picking kits were even offered for sale after class. Some residents were aghast, as the city had seen burglaries increase by 40 percent in 2012. Asked one complainer, “What’s next? The fundamentals of armed robbery?” (In February, Mayor Jean Quan apologized and canceled the class.)

Kill this legislation (too many people are for it) In February, the North Carolina House of Representatives Rules Committee took the unusual step of pre-emptively burying a bill to legalize prescription marijuana (which 18 states so far have embraced). WRAL-TV (Raleigh-Durham) reported Rep. Paul Stam’s explanation: Committee members were hearing from so many patients and other constituents (via phone calls and emails) about the importance of medical marijuana to them that the representatives were feeling “harassed.”

Inexplicable

Two teachers and three student teachers at a Windsor, Ontario, elementary school somehow thought it would be a neat prank on their eighth-graders to make them think their class trip would be to Florida’s Disney World, and they created a video and PowerPoint presentation previewing the excursion. The kids’ exhilaration lasted only a few days, when they were informed that plans had changed and that they would instead be visiting a local bowling alley. Furthermore, the teachers captured the students’ shock on video, presumably to repeatedly re-enjoy their prank. (When the principal found out, she apologized, disciplined the teachers, and arranged a class trip to Niagara Falls.) ***** Solutions to non-problems: (1) Illinois state Rep. Luis Arroyo introduced a bill in March that would ban the state’s restaurants from serving lion meat. (2) Georgia state Rep. Jay Neal introduced legislation in February to ban the implantation of a human embryo into a nonhuman. Rep. Neal told the Associated Press that this has been a hot issue in “other states.”

Unclear on the concept

Imprisoned British computer hacker Nicholas Webber, 21, serving time for computer fraud, hacked into the mainframe at his London prison after officials allowed him to take a computer class. Like most prisons, the Isis facility attempts to rehabilitate inmates with classes to inspire new careers, but apparently no one made the connection between the class and Webber’s crime. (One prison staff member involved in the class was fired.) *****

The redneck chronicles

Gary Ericcson, 46, was distraught in January at being charged with animal cruelty in shooting to death his beloved pet snake. He told the Charlotte Observer that he is not guilty, as the dear thing had already passed away and that he shot it only “to get the gas out” so that other animals would not dig it up after he buried it. He said he was so despondent (fearing that a conviction will prevent him from being allowed to have even dogs and cats) that in frustration he had shot up and destroyed a large cabinet that housed his Dale Earnhardt collectibles.

Perspective

First-world products: The DogTread treadmill is a modification of the familiar exercise machine in homes and health clubs, with special features for dog safety—a helpful invention in a nation in which over half of all pet dogs are too fat. (A somewhat higher percentage of cats is overweight, but it is unlikely that marketing a cat treadmill has ever been considered.) The Association for Pet Obesity Prevention points out that pets can develop type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and osteoarthritis, and that the problem stems from insufficient exercise and overindulgent owners. (The DogTread Treadmills sell for $499 to $899.)

Readers’ choice

Teri James, 29, filed a lawsuit recently in San Diego against San Diego Christian College because it fired her for being pregnant and unmarried—a violation of specific employee rules. She said the firing was obviously illegal gender discrimination because her job was quickly offered to the next-most-qualified candidate—James’ fiancé, who was openly cohabiting with James all along and is the baby’s father. (2) In a Philadelphia courtroom in February, alleged assault victim John Huttick was on the witness stand tearfully describing how miserable his life has become since he lost his left eye in a barroom fight with the defendant. Right then, however, his prosthetic eye fell out. The judge, certain that it was an accident, quickly declared a mistrial (especially since two jurors, seated a few feet away, appeared sickened).

Armed and clumsy (All-new!)

Among the Americans (all males, as usual) who accidentally shot themselves recently: A 19-year-old man, with the AR-15 assault weapon he had just stolen (Independence, Oregon, March)*. An angler, shooting salmon (Thurston County, Washington, October). An 18-year-old man, shot in the “groin” while cleaning his gun (Port St. Lucie, Florida, September). A 59-year-old poormultitasker, who tripped and fell holding his shotgun while talking on the phone to his girlfriend (St. Matthews, South Carolina, September)*. A police officer serving an arrest warrant (shot in the buttocks) (Mercer Island, Washington, November). A 54-year-old man at a gun show, mistaken about whether his gun was loaded) (Des Moines, Iowa, January). A 22-year-old man, showing off and flummoxed by whether a bullet was still in the chamber (Stamford, Connecticut, September)*. An 18-year-old man, similarly flummoxed (and suffering the same fate) (St. Petersburg, Florida, January)*. (The asterisk indicates people who died as a result of their mistake.) Ready for News of the Weird Pro Edition? Every Monday at www.WeirdUniverse.net Tips are welcome

TOONS

DINo COMICS BY RYAN NORTH

40

March 28 - April 3, 2013

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

By Chuck Shepherd

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

I was too lazy to write your horoscope this week, so I went to a website that hawks bumper stickers and copied a few of their slogans to use as your â&#x20AC;&#x153;advice.â&#x20AC;? Here you go. 1. Never follow a rule off a cliff. 2. Have the courage to honor your peculiarities. 3. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s never too late to have a rebellious adolescence. 4. Criticize by creating. 5. Never make anything simple and efficient when it can be elaborate and wonderful. 6. Complex problems have simple, easy-to-understand, morally clear, wrong answers. APRIL FOOL! I lied. I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t lazy at all. I worked hard to ensure that all the suggestions I just provided are in strict accordance with the astrological gestalt.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a perfect time to watch the cult classic film Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Alien, Flesh Eating, Hellbound, Zombified Living Dead. It will provide you with just the right inspiration as you deal with your own problems. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t you dare watch any horror movies. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in a phase when you can make dramatic progress in transforming long-standing dilemmasâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;but only if you surround yourself with positive, uplifting influences.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

The coming week will be an excellent time to wash dishes, clean bathrooms, scrub floors, vacuum carpets, wash windows, do laundry, and clean the refrigerator. The more drudge work you do, the better youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll feel. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is, you now have astrological license to minimize your participation in boring tasks like the ones I named. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s high time for you to seek out the most interesting work and play possible.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

You know what would be a really cool prank to pull off this April Foolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day? Arrange to have rubber tires airlifted into a dormant volcano, then set them on fire. Smoke will pour out the top. Everyone who lives nearby will think the volcano is getting ready to explode. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t forget to videotape the event for Youtube. Later, when you reveal the hoax, your video will go viral and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll become a celebrity. APRIL FOOL! I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really think you should try this prank. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s old hat. Back in 1974, a guy named Porky Bickar did it to Alaskaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mt. Edgecumbe. Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s my real oracle for you: It is a good time to boost your visibility by doing something funny. Or to build your brand by being mischievous. Or to demonstrate your power by showing off your sense of humor.

In the animated TV show The Simpsons, ten-year-old Bart is constantly getting into trouble because of the monkey business he loves to perpetrate. His teachers punish him by compelling him to write corrective declarations on the classroom blackboard. It so happens that some of those apologetic statements should be coming out of your mouth in the coming week, Leo. They include the following: â&#x20AC;&#x153;I will not strut around like I own the place. I will not claim that I am deliciously saucy. I will not instigate revolution. I will not trade pants with others. I will not carve gods. I will not Xerox my butt. I will not scream for ice cream.â&#x20AC;? APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is, you SHOULD consider doing things like that. And donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t apologize!

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

The sport of ferret legging is an endurance contest. Participants vie to determine who can last longest as a live ferret runs loose inside their pants. The current record is five hours and 26 minutes, held by a retired British miner. But I predict that a Virgo will soon break that mark. Could it be you? APRIL FOOL! I misled you. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really think you should put a ferret in your pants, not even to win a contest. It is possible, however, that there will soon be a pleasurable commotion happening in the area below your waist. And I suspect that you will handle it pretty well.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)

Risk being a crazed fool for love, Libra. Get as wild and extreme as youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve ever been if it helps you rustle up the closeness youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re hungry for. Get down on your knees and beg, or climb a tree with a megaphone and profess your passion. APRIL FOOL! I was exaggerating a little. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s true that now is an excellent time to be aggressive about going after the intimate connection you want. But I suggest you accomplish that by being ingenious and imaginative rather than crazy and extreme.

fore you hit the earth. This is the kind of beyond-ballsy activity that would be perfect for you right now. APRIL FOOL! In truth, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t recommend banzai skydiving now or ever. Plain old skydiving is fine, though. The same principle applies in relation to any adventurousness youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re considering: Push yourself, yes, but not to an absurd degree.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)

Should you relocate to Kazakhstan and grow sunflowers? Is it time to think about getting a job in Uruguay and living there for the next ten years? Can you see yourself building your dream home in Morocco on a bluff overlooking the Atlantic Ocean? I suggest you spend some quality time thinking way, way outside the box about where you belong on this earth. APRIL FOOL! I went a bit overboard in my recommendations. It is true that you should brainstorm about the kind of home you want to create and enjoy in the future. But that probably means revising and refining your current situation rather than leaving it all behind and starting over.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)

Your brain has a bigger capacity than you realize. According to professor of psychology Paul Reber, it can hold the equivalent of three million hoursâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; worth of television shows. As Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sure you know, your brain is not even close to being full of that much data. And in accordance with the current astrological omens, I suggest you cram in as much new material as possible. APRIL FOOL! I told you a half-truth. While itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s correct that now is an excellent time to pour more stuff into your brain, you should be highly discerning about what you allow in there. Seek out the richest ideas, the most stimulating information, the best stories. Avoid trivial crap.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

British comedy team Monty Python did a sketch in which a policeman apprehends a criminal. The bad guy says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Yes, I did it, but society is to blame.â&#x20AC;? And the cop says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Right! Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll arrest them instead.â&#x20AC;? You should adopt this attitude, Scorpio. Blame everyone else but yourself for your problems and flaws. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, the truth is the opposite of what I said. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time to take more responsibility for your actions. Bravely accept the consequences of what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve doneâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;with your sense of humor fully engaged and a lot of compassion for yourself.

July 2012 was a sad time in the history of mythic creatures. The National Ocean Service, a U.S. government agency, made a formal proclamation that there are no such things as mermaids. But I predict those stuffy know-it-alls will soon get a big shock, when a Piscean scientist presents evidence that mermaids are indeed real. APRIL FOOL! I was exaggerating. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really foresee the discovery of a flesh-and-blood mermaidâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;by a Pisces or anyone else. I do, however, suspect that your tribe is now highly adept at extracting useful revelations and inspirations from dreams, visions, and fantasiesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;including at least one that involves a coven of Buddhist Ninja clown mermaids.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)

THE WEEKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S HOMEWORK

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Coldwell Banker Best Properties is Proud to Present Our Award Winning Sales Associates

Top Performers

THE NEIL THOMAS TEAM

NIEL THOMAS (907) 868-2750

LYNDA BANNER Top Performer

(907) 242-4262

BETHANY STAMPER

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CONNIE HEYWORTH

(907) 360-2455

(907) 317-3000

(907) 223-1463

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Client Services Associate for Niel

CHUCK SCHERBAUM

BRAD WILSON

Top Performer

Top Performer

Coldwell Banker Real Estate, LLC, which is the Franchisor of Coldwell Banker Best Properties, is the oldest major real estate brand in the U.S., spanning over 100 years of real estate innovation. Comprised of 83,000 plus sales associates

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International Diamond Society

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In addition, Coldwell Banker Best Properties would like to recognize those whose contributions have been instrumental in our success and the success of their fellow associates.

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Coldwell Banker Best Properties has recently ����������������������������������

JOHN “TODD” SCHLEGEL, Owner | (907) 230-6159 CONNIE BATES, Broker, Relocation Director | (907) 265-9141

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March 28 - April 3, 2013


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