JONESIN'CROSSWORD MATT JONES // JONESINCROSSWORDS@VUEWEEKLY.COM
“Ob Course"--getting a new start.
COMMENT >> SEX
Stopping to think about sex Survey raises questions about how love and sex go together For the first time, iVillage included women aren't the only ones who men in its annual sex survey (rethink sex and love go together. leased on February 11), and the results are probably not what you The enormous amount of self-help would expect. media claiming to teach women how Before I go any further, some to keep their men interested major disclaimers are in orwould lead us to believe der. The survey was done that most married couples through self-reporting have dwindling, boring sex .com weekly e on iVillage's website. The u lives—leading men to look v @ brenda a d website does not tell us elsewhere for sex. That n e Br er how many people responddoesn't appear to be the Kerb ed to the survey or any demoexperience of the married men graphic information about them. who took this survey. Eighty percent iVillage also did not print the actual of them said they were happy with questions from the survey that retheir sex lives. The interesting twist spondents were asked. This isn't is that only 55 percent of women what should be considered rigorous thought their husbands were happy. scientific research. This makes me wonder if all of this In spite of that, it's worth a look beself-help does more harm than good, cause some of the results don't jive perhaps causing us to look for probwith what we've always been told lems that aren't really there. about men, women and marriage. For One thing we thought we knew example, respondents were asked for sure is that men want sex all the what turns them on the most. The time and women not as much. Or do top answer for women was feelings we? Only 55 percent of men in the of love towards their partner. Of survey said they were in the mood course, everyone knows that women for sex within the last week as comneed to feel loved to have sex. We've pared to 43 percent of women. If all heard that women can't separate only slightly more than half of them love and sex like men do. Funny were interested in sex sometime in thing though, feelings of love was the last week, they're not exactly number two on the list of turn-ons raging sex maniacs. The numbers for for these married men. Seems that men and women are pretty close, al-
LUST E LIF
FOR
Across 1 Liberty org. 5 Dave's bandleader 9 Used as source material 14 Each episode of "24" 15 "Major" constellation 16 Blah 17 Thieves who take X-rated DVDs? 20 Gorp piece 21 He killed Mufasa 22 Nebula animal 23 Really untrustworthy looking 25 As well 26 Tachometer stat 29 Roll call response 30 Company with orange-and-white trucks 33 Like some minimums 34 Fascination with Dre, Eve and Wiz Khalifa? 37 Get wind of 40 Fleur-de-___ 41 Start of a Danny Elfman band 42 Jamaica or Puerto Rico, if you're drawing a map? 45 Bert who played the Cowardly Lion 46 Change the clock 47 Icicle spot 51 "I'm ___ Boat" ("SNL" digital short) 52 ___ Lingus (Irish carrier) 53 What many gamblers claim to have 55 "Double Dare" host Summers 57 Cheese that melts well 59 Part of TNT 60 Debt to ducts? 64 Wilkes-___, Penna. 65 Kings of ___ 66 Duncan of the Obama Cabinet 67 One-for-one trades 68 ___ Tomb (solitaire game) 69 Ray of light
Love Boat" 10 Kansas county seat (hidden in VIOLATION) 11 Pinky's partner 12 It's north of Afr. 13 Dungeons & Dragons game runners, for short 18 Key at the top left 19 School, to Sarkozy 24 Feeling while watching slasher movies 25 Skirmish 27 ___-rock 28 "Tell ___ secrets..." 31 Less like thou? 32 Seemingly endless pit 33 They usually weren't hits 35 ___ Taylor LOFT 36 Bobby, to Hank Hill 37 Track star Jones 38 Israeli statesman Abba 39 Moorish fortress in Spain 43 ___-Roman wrestling 44 Symbols called "snails" in some languages 48 Dress 49 Shakespearean title city 50 Feuder with Moby 52 City where Van Gogh painted 54 Positive vote 56 Gp. for Baby Boomers 57 Hot wings cheese 58 Out-of-control situation 60 Channel with the slogan "Very funny" 61 Labor org. based in Detroit 62 Sandwich that's now a potato chip flavor 63 It's settled when settling up
though 35 percent of the men said that they were in the mood while they were taking the survey, whereas only 11 percent of women did. Maybe sex surveys are more exciting to men than to women. Also surprising was that the same number of men and women reported that they had had only one sexual partner in their lives. Our culture views someone who has had sex only with their spouse as extremely rare. In fact, this type of person shows up as an object of ridicule or pity in movies and TV shows time and again. Yet this is the reality for almost 20 percent of the people who took the iVillage survey. Perhaps it's much more common than we think. Although, we can't generalize the results of this survey, I think it does give us cause to stop and think. Maybe the common wisdom about sex and marriage doesn't reflect what's really going on inside marriages. Maybe the truth is actually better than we think. V Brenda Kerber is a sexual health educator who has worked with local not-for-profits since 1995. She is the owner of the Edmonton-based, sexpositive adult toy boutique the Traveling Tickle Trunk.
©2013 Jonesin' Crosswords
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