loud and doing it in a way that makes it appear as though you are the stronger half. This has never been healthy and will usually lead to your boyfriend feeling emasculated and unhappy.
When Things Get Out of Hand Control and dominance can easily get out of hand and often irreparably damage the relationship. A perfect example is when you start restricting your partner’s movements. When you start feeling upset when your partner goes out with friends without you and spend every minute texting him or calling to check if he really is where he says he is, that could turn out to be very problematic and potentially dangerous. Your paranoia could turn into obsessive and destructive behavior. If you’re at the bottom end of the stick and are being controlled by your partner, do you think you would like him knowing and directing your daily routine and even dictating your choices? Of course, not. Humans are born with free will and no excuse, not even love, can take this away from an individual. Imagine yourself being prohibited from hanging out with friends and pursuing independent activities and you’ll certainly understand why control issues in a relationship are often referred to as “choking.” It’s not a feel-good situation to be in.
Controlling the Control Issue As partners, you should set boundaries and allow each other to enjoy some alone time to grow individually into better persons. Take note that setting guidelines is not a way for you to make sure things always go in your favor. These should be mutually decided on and beneficial. Another way to possibly quell control issues is also controlling your emotions. Distrust creates emotional stress, which further fans the paranoid thinking and launches either of you into a fight. Keep your emotions in check and avoid jumping to conclusions when you see or hear something. Listen to what your partner has to say first before you make any judgments.
Communication between couples is a great way to resolve budding control issues in a relationship. Accepting the views and opinions of your partner can also be a way to avoid such problems. It’s normal for couples to argue; but preventing it from escalating into a full blown war always requires special care in accepting each other’s views and opinions, even if they differ.
Personal Freedom Freedom is very important to humans; their actions, routines and most of all their decisions are all rooted on their liberty to do as they see fit. If you want to avoid being labelled as a control-freak by your partner, you have to respect his independence. Let him do what he wants, but you have to set the ground rules at the start to make sure that none of either of your actions will bring pain and ruin to your relationship.
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