Too Sexy Magazine Vol 3 Issue 6 Dec 2012
Its the yummy December issue full of gift ideas, fabulous winter fashion and lots of goodies you need for this holiday season. Sick of Secret Santa? Give Dirty Santa a go this year. We spotlight Wasabi Pills - one of the most awesome hair stores on the grid and think you have what it takes to be a Too Sexy model? Then check out our Too Sexy Model Competition for your chance to win a cover/centerfold and the opportunity to join our modelling pool...and so much more!
VOLUME 3 ISSUE 6 DECEMBER 2012 Publishers STAFF Potvin Tigerpaw Sahara Mehrtens Editor-in-Chief TOO S EXY M AGAZI NE Jordan Whitt Layout Editor Marie Cox Lead Stylist Payton Heron Writers Daija Arida Risa Bright Amelia Harsley Solitaire Highfield Honour McMillan Pinch Pinazzo Photographers Pam Astonia Tosha Bergan Phe Bruun Julie Hastings Takeshi Kiama Spartin Parx Pinch Pinazzo Qopi 9 Special thanks to all of the models who participated in this issue of Too Sexy! CO 17 49 55 65 69 75 83 87 95 99 121 Winter With a Second Life Spin Gifts That Keep on Giving Under the Mistletoe Our Fave Undies Dirty Santa A Holiday Ball Shoe Freak Just Like a Pill Are You Too Sexy? Hot List: Kinky Kristmas Centerfold: Potvin Tigerpaw TOO S EXY M AGAZI NE 11 55 75 121 ONTENTS 125 129 135 141 151 157 163 171 179 181 On the Cover Our Publisher, Potvin Tigerpaw, shows us exactly what Santa has waiting under the tree for us this Christmas in a stunningly fun shot by Julie Hastings. Thanks to Kirsty Oherlihy from RACK Poses for the cover pose! Men’s Fashion Get The Ass You’ve Always Wanted All Wrapped Up New Year, New Home Readers’ Photos Sexy Singles Too Sexy Times: Ho, Ho...Ohhh! Quiz: Which Christmas Song Are You? Archive Pages Next Issue: February Preview 129 135 163 13 TOO SEXY MAGAZI NE Publisher Note “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough” - Oprah Winfrey This Holiday Season marks the end of our third year of production here at Too Sexy, and we want to take the time to be thankful for the things we have experienced, the readers that we write for, the people we have worked with, the growth we have undergone and the fun we’ve had. It’s been an amazing three-year journey for the Too Sexy crew. We’ve met some of the most awesome designers, models, artists and people in Second Life. We’ve had the opportunity to feature some of the sexiest designs Second Life has to offer. We’ve shared laughs, memories and stories that will stay with us for years to come! We want to send a warm thank you out to all of the readers who have supported us through the years. Without you, there’s no reason to keep on doing what we do. We want to take time to thank the advertisers, models, writers and photographers who have given up their time and energy to creating this magazine. Also a huge thank you to the senior staff members who continue to pour their hearts into this magazine week after week! A huge thank you to everyone and we wish you a Happy Holiday Season! Love, TOO SEX Y M AGAZI NE Written and Photographed by Honour McMillan 17 Snow is falling over much of the grid, but no two sims look exactly the same in all that white. This issue weâ€™re bringing you a sample of just some of the different ways you can experience the cold inworld. We have an artful fantasy winterscape, an example of one of our favourite destinations after it has received the first snowfall of the year, a group of regions dedicated to a northern nation that knows how to enjoy the season, an eccentric forest wonderland and even a visit to Siberia. Youâ€™ll find a reason to enjoy all of them, just make sure to dress warmly! (general) http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Cadenza/85/78/54 This is one of the most beautiful landscapes in Second Life and given that it is dressed in wintery garb, this is a perfect time to visit Cadenza. Climb the ladder from the landing spot and hop into a leaf boat. Youâ€™ll travel through a magical land of water and caves and other-worldly foliage that will delight you. Cadenza 19 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE 21 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE TOO SEXY MAGAZINE The Rose Theater (moderate) http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Angel%20Manor/21/154/22 A perfect location to experience the life of the extravagantly rich. The building and grounds are formal and spectacular and the recent snowfall has just made it even more beautiful. Spend some time inside as well - youâ€™ll enjoy the luxurious design and art. Just wipe your feet before you enter! 23 25 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE 27 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE 29 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Second Norway (moderate) http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Sund/179/36/27 Winter is a great time to visit Second Norway. This group of sims knows how to enjoy the cold with sailing, riding, and a list of even more activities far too long to mention. This community welcomes non-Scandinavians as well, so go ahead and explore their part of the world. You might decide to stay! 31 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE 33 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Taiga (general) http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Awesome/100/140/21 There is a lot of beauty in Siberia, in spite of what you might have heard, and you can visit it in Second Life. Once you have wandered through the forest and gazed at the ice cold river, go warm up with some ice skating or dancing. You wonâ€™t be alone, we saw a number of hardy souls enjoying themselves. 35 37 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE 39 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE 41 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Toloroâ€™s Forest (moderate) http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Totoros%20Forest/215/93/23 Totoro might be slightly eccentric, but he loves winter and it shows. Follow a sparkly trail of snowflakes down a wooded lane, skate on the pond or go dancing in the moonlight. This is a lovely tribute to the season. Make sure to keep an eye open for some of the forest critters, theyâ€™re friendly as well as cute! 43 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE 45 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE TOO SEXY MAGAZINE 49 Looking for a perfect gift for that special someone? Want it to be something that will last a while? There are lots of gift possibilities in Second Life, even if sometimes they are hard to find or think of. So we got creative and came up with a list of some ideas to get you started! 51 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Many stores offer gift cards, and a gift card ensures they will like the present and it if you put enough on it, they can shop more than once! Or you could get really creative and make your own special ones for the special someone in your SLife. Want to give them a gift they will really enjoy? Check out the newest and best naughty bits designers have to offer for both male and female - it might be time for an update! Bonus: Itâ€™s a gift for you too. Donate to a charity in their name There are a lot of charities across the grid. Donate a sum of money and dedicate the gift from your significant other. 53 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Curling up with that special someone in front of the TV provides hours of entertainment! And there’s lot’s of movie TV’s and YouTube TV’s out there to choose from! Always a fun choice! Cars, trucks, atv’s, a Segway, whatever… Getting one of these under your tree is always a good thing! Bringing friends together on a regular basis, game tables never get old and give you something to do when you aren’t at your busiest. TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Photos by Solitaire Highfield What Next - Mistletoe and Welcome Mat What you get: Mistletoe and “Joy” welcome mat Cost: $50L Click the Note tab for Marketplace URLs (inworld copy only). 55 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE It’s the sexiest holiday tradition there is - standing lip to lip under a sprig of mistletoe with your partner, friend or even a complete stranger. From mythology to music, the mistletoe has been popping up in holiday lore for ages and is one of many people’s favorite traditions. Forever alone? NO problem… the mistletoe may be your answer to snagging that holiday smooch. Wanting to heat things up? The mistletoe may just help get things started! Several designers and pose makers have picked up on this sexy tradition and there are many options available for you if you are wanting to give your lips a little workout this Holiday season. Some of these are traditional and expected, others… well, let’s just say here’s to a Kinky Christmas! Simply ~A~ - Christmas Mistletoe Belly Ring What you get: A belly ring featuring a mini sprig of mistletoe Cost: $59L 57 Hummingbird Forrester - Mistletoe Tease What you get: Menâ€™s boxers with a sprig of mistletoe hanging from them. Cost: $50L 59 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE HUNG - Santaâ€™s Sexy Mistletoe What you get: A sexy outfit for your guy that strategically covers his male bits with mistletoe Cost: $400L TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Rack Poses - Mistletoe Kisses What you get: A mistletoe sprig with a kissing animation Cost: $10L copy only). 61 Sparrowtree Studio Poses â€“ SSP Mistletoe Pose What you get: Wearable mistletoe and a woman on top pose. Cost: $1L TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Photos by Pam Astonia sinontherocks (Absinthe) Clara Corset from Celo Panties & Garter from Blacklace 65 TymonAlexander Hansel from Hedo 67 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Linnda Scofield Angel in Red from Angel Dessous SothisSirius Deven in Black from Zaara 69 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE 71 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE 73 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Photos by Tosha Risa Bright 75 Ligia in Garnet from Azul Bergan Sapphire Coakes Giorgia in Copper from Miamai TOO SEXY MAGAZINE 77 Sienna Bellios Ninde Gown in Gold from PurpleMoon Creations Payton Heron Ramage Gown from Fellini Couture TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Pinch Pinazzo Nayomi Gown in Nude from Bliss Couture 79 Morgan Hush Vallo in Red from Orage Creations TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Modelled and Styled by Daija Arida Photographed by Spartin Parx 83 Destiny Loafers in Cheetah from Toki Doki TOO SEXY MAGAZINE 85 Foremast Ankle Boots from E-Clipse Studded Boots from Glam Affair TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Written by Sahara Mehrtens Photos Courtesy of MissAllSunday Lemon 87 89 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE An avatar is not complete without the right hairstyle, and that’s what pushed MissAllSunday Lemon into designing hair - she couldn’t find the right style! And now Wasabi Pills is one of the fastest growing go-to places for fabulous hair on the grid. “I started with skins back in 2008 then one day my good friend and fellow creator Alia Baroque complained about the lack of long male hair styles,” she says. “So I decided to give it a try and realized that I enjoyed making hair more than making skins and here I am!” She tries to include a variety of styles to reach out to an eclectic population. “We enjoy a lot of different styles from fantasy to Japanese-cute to ‘fashionfriendly’ ones,” she explains. “I draw my inspiration from everywhere! Magazines, movies, comics, people on the street, customer suggestions... but mostly from my (and Rouge Darcy’s) imagination. We rarely copy styles as we see them. We take bits that we like from here and there and recompose them in something totally new.” 91 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE With the growing popularity of her store, MissAllSunday has a huge following. With so many styles to choose from, it continues to grow. “I’m not 100% sure, but lately I would say it’s the Teeloh hairstyle that is our best seller,” she says. “And a while back it was the Reptilia one, maybe because it’s a bit out of the ordinary and can be worn by fashionistas and roleplayers alike. “ Getting Wasabi Pills’ name out there has involved many events for MissAllSunday, and she participates in many charties and events around the grid. “The “regulars” are: Hair Fair, Fantasy Faire, FaMESHed and Fifty Linden Fridays at the moment,” she says. “The one I personally enjoy the most (not as a store owner, but as a resident) is Fantasy Faire for the festive atmosphere and the amazing variety in the SIM builds.” 93 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE MissAllSunday puts tons of time into each design she makes, and she loves her work and art. “I like coming up with new ideas and seeing them come to “life”, sometimes with a good amount of swearing, I’m not going to lie about that. Sometimes creations develop themselves into something completely different from what I had in mind at the beginning and I love when the manage to surprise me, making the design process never boring,” she explains. “Sometimes it can require just one day (only the model, no rigging), other times fourh or so days during which I go back changing/tweaking things until I’m completely satisfied... and this not counting all the SL import glitches. The rigging part usually takes much less because it’s Rouge doing it and not me.” With the market still open to new designers, MissAllSunday offers this advice to anyone interested in getting out there and making a name for themselves. “Know your tools and always look at what’s already around,” she advises. “It’s very important to know the programs you intend to use and the tools SL provides well and knowing what’s around might give you an idea of what is lacking and/ or of what can be improved.” We can’t wait to see what new products and styles Wasabi Pills will feature next! We want to see if you have what it takes to be the next cover model and centerfold of Too Sexy Magazine and join our modeling pool and appear in future editions! Itâ€™s easy to enter. All you have to do is submit a sexy picture of yourself in our theme to the Too Sexy Model Comp Flickr group. Theme: Pink or Red Flickr Group: http://www.flickr.com/groups/2108852@N20/ The deadline for ALL submissions is Friday January 11th 2013, so get those cameras out and get to snapping some sexy photos! The winner and runner up photos will be announced and published in the February edition of Too Sexy magazine. One male and one female will be chosen by the senior staff to be on the cover of the April issue of Too Sexy and become a regular model in the Too Sexy modeling pool! Click the NOTE tab on the menu (inworld copy only) for Rules and Conditions of Entry. Good Luck! TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Photos by Julie Hastings HOT LIST Skylei Caproni Unwrap me Baby from Boudoir Dirknice Aero Unwrap Me This Xmas from Xaffy Battitude (Marketplace) 99 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Payton Heron Vogue Red Night Out from Vassnia 101 Brendan Macarthur Rudolph Thong from Arduenn Schwartzman (Marketplace) TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Gamp Lane Sharon Leather Catsuit in Pink from Immerschoen Fashion 103 Draakje Dailey Total Bitch from Dirty Princess 1 05 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Hikaru Enimo DarkMatter from XTC Solitaire Highfield Darkness from XTC TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Apollo Call 1 07 Flower Tanks and Boxers from Vitamen Jordan Whitt White Pearl from Jaydee Designs TOO SEXY MAGAZINE sinontherocks (Absinthe) Expo 2 Latex Bodysuit from Hugoâ€™s Designs 109 Sahara Mehrtens Venice Lace Catsuit from Indyra Originals TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Mavi Beck Challenge from Graves Zachary Zufreur Gravity from Graves 111 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Tempest Hennesy Confidence in Red from Narcissus 1 13 Liam Netizen Rollerball in Red from Caffeine Wear TOO SEXY MAGAZINE CottonCandy Teardrop Constrict from AtaMe 115 Fann Hyun Ruffle Skirt, Top and Panties from Dress Sexy Fashion by Sonera (Marketplace) 119 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Photos by Julie Hastings Getting to know our Centerfold What accomplishment are you most proud of in SL? It’s a hard toss up between DJing and the magazines. I’m proud of them both, pretty equally. DJing lets me have fun with other people and play good music at the same time. I also get help being introduced to awesome music and tunes I may not have heard before from the people who make requests. It sounds like a win-win to me and feels like it. With the magazines, I get to work with a lot of cool people who make it so much fun for me. We’ve got a solid group of people who make up our staff, which is my main source of motivation that drives me to keep the magazines going day after day. We do this because we have fun with it. The minute that stops is the minute it stops being worthwhile. 121 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE What’s your deepest darkest secret in SL? The one thing that makes you cringe and say “OMG I can’t believe I __________.” My deepest darkest secret would have to be from my early SL years when I was convinced that having disproportionate abs, muscles and an over-sized “package” would make me look super cool. Moving all your body sliders ‘to the right’ is not the way to go and thankfully I came to my senses because my jeans have fit a whole lot better ever since. If you could only keep 5 things in your inventory, what would they be and why? 1. Photo Album - lots of great memories. 2. My shades - part of who I am. 3. Some clothes - gets cold in-world sometimes, can’t be naked 24/7. 4. Magazine production equipment - keep the magazines going of course. 5. My AO/Dance HUD - can’t go without my smooth dance moves, Oppa Gangnam Style!!! What is your fondest “when I was a noob” memory? My fondest memory as a noob was when I was just starting out, I found this place randomly and met a couple of nice people there. This couple took me to get my first non-noob hair and helped me get familiar with SL. They were uber nice and I’ll never forget how they treated me and made me feel. Puts a smile on my face every time I have a flashback because it reminds me that there are some good hearted people in-world. When you’re not tearing up clubs DJing or running magazines, what do you like to do in SL? TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Simple, spending time with people I care about and trying to keep in touch. It can happen all too easily where you go without talking to people for awhile, but you always find a way to get back in touch with your true friends. Whether we’re playing games, chatting or exploring the grid, I’m simply happy to keep the company of some terrific people I’ve come to know, and I’m always open to getting to know the people behind the pixels. 1 23 Photo by Jordan Whitt TOO SEXY MAGAZINE 1 25 Modelled and Styled by Cody Bolero Photographed by Takeshi Kiama Top Gun Mach 2 from Okey Designs TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Shirt Polo in Dark Green from Redgrave Pants Herringbone Trousers in Creme from Redgrave Shoes Classic Sneakers from Redgrave 127 Jacket Black Leather Jacket in Tokyo Fur from Shiki Pants Chalk Stripe Pants in Madison Grey from subVersion 129 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Compiled by Sahara Mehrtens Photos by Jordan Whitt So you’re at the club and you see a member of the opposite sex you fancy - what do you do? Do you approach them and ask them out? Not without a killer pick up lines. Here’s some of our favorites: TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Sorry, But you owe me a drink. (Why?) Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine. Be unique and different. Say yes. You’re so beautiful you made me forget my pickup line. Damn, if being sexy were a crime, you’d be guilty as charged! 1 31 Is there an airport nearby? Because my heart just took off. Hey.. does this rag smell like chloroform? If you were a booger, Iâ€™d pick you first. Hey, somebody farted, letâ€™s get out of here. Your lips look lonely, do they want to meet mine? TOO SEXY MAGAZINE I know milk does a body good, but damnâ€Ś you must drink a lot. Take me to bed, or lose me forever! (Points at their ass.) Pardon me, is this seat taken? When God made you, He was showing off. 1 33 You must own a switch, cause baby you keep turning me on. I hope you know CPR, cause you are taking my breath away. Wow, are those real? I want to name my next multiple orgasm after you. You, me, whipped cream, handcuffs, rubber sheets, any questions? TOO SEXY MAGAZINE 135 JordanAaron Westland Trench Coat from SF Design Photos by Tosha Bergan Jordan Whitt Tulip Trench from Drift TOO SEXY MAGAZINE 1 37 December Dollinger Fusion Chic from GizzA Sahara Mehrtens Freezing Cold from Virtue Mocha TOO SEXY MAGAZINE 139 Harlee Lane Hickory Wool Coat from ISON Jarl Soderstrom Military Coat from GizzA 1 41 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Cheeky Pea Written by Risa Bright Photos by Qopi The new year is upon us and many people like to mark the change in the calendar with some kind of life change as well. New Year resolutions aside, the second life we have in the virtual world allows for more expansive changes that would be impossible in the real world. For the new year in Second Life, why not give your SL home a whole new look? Perhaps a brand new prefab, location or just some updated furnishings for the home you already have and love. The magical physics of SL allow for skyboxes to be added above existing ground builds, so you can keep the seashore you love and still have something entirely new in the sky. TOO SEXY MAGAZINE The changes in the way land impact is calculated can work to your advantage when you look at what used to be called your prim allotment. The land we rented or bought in SL used to have a parcel prim limit and the original prim objects as well as sculpties were limited to the number the parcel or SIM would hold. 143 Dutchie Adult Furniture Meshworx 1 45 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Pilot The introduction of mesh has changed the way SIM and parcel objects are counted and the use of the Land Impact algorithm is now the method used to know how many objects your home can hold. Full details of how Land Impact is calculated can be found here http:// community.secondlife.com/t5/English-Knowledge-Base/Calculatingland-impact/ta-p/974163 How do these changes affect homeowners in SL? The net effect of all the land impact numbers is that you can now rez a prefab or furnish your home with mesh objects that will look better and more realistic than your older ‘just prim’ objects and those new mesh items will have a much lower Land Impact rating, allowing you to put more objects on your land. Mesh buildings have come a long way. There are styles of architecture to fit any taste, from the warehouse-y industrial look with an almost airplane hangar ambiance to the more traditional and “real life” style home you might find on any suburban street. Other improvements in the way objects are being created include the way animations are placed in the furnishings that we buy. The old method of the pink and blue poseball that would pop out of the couch to allow your avatar to animate in sits, cuddles or more are now TOO SEXY MAGAZINE replaced with animation engines that do not rez a poseball at all. You simply click on the furniture and you will get the menu of options. For those of us who live very close to our parcel prim limits, it is a relief to no longer need to leave available prim just so that we can have a cuddle on the sofa. Finding great prices on the new mesh items you want for your home is easy. Events such as Collabor88 and FaMESHed offer changing assortments of household items, new releases and things that you may not have otherwise seen in your usual shopping excursions. Fifty Linden Friday is also a great way to discover shops that are releasing new mesh furnishings and prefabs and the hunts that are always on can introduce you to new shops that can give your home the new look you are seeking for the new year. 147 Trompe Loeil 1 49 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE What Next Donâ€™t forget, checking marketplace for mesh skyboxes can show you styles and options which you can then visit inworld to see how the space feels as a home. Zigana TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Precious Things by Mavi Beck 151 Pat King Miles by Pat King Miles TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Autumn Meets by July Raymaker 153 Studded by Sasy Scarborough Undisclosed Desires by Ace Somersley 155 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE If you would like to have your photos featured in this section, submit them to the Too Sexy Flickr group - TOO SEXY Magazine Readerâ€™s Photos. Zombish by Willow Llewellyn TOO SEXY MAGAZINE 1 57 Elegance Gown from Sharodieâ€™s Design Petite avatars are adorable and fun, but dressing them can be expensive!! Never fear!! Weâ€™ve found some fabulous looks for your mini-you that wonâ€™t break the bank at 1 Linden or less!! Click the Note tab for Marketplace URLs (inworld copy only). TOO SEXY MAGAZINE One-Piece Swimsuit Collection from Jeanetteâ€™s Joint 159 Fae Silver Spring Outfit from Silverâ€™s Petite Closet 50 Shades of Grey from Tiny Bubbles TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Petite Casual Freebie from Angel Raeâ€™s Polka Dot Top Mesh Unisex 161 Urban Petites from Phenomena ps from Petite Boadicea Ragged Jeans from Classy Chic Petites 163 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Written and Photographed by Pinch Pinazzo Twas the night before Christmas, but would Santa come? I’d been a particularly naughty girl this year. I truly wasn’t sure if Santa would come at all. But was all my naughtiness now worth not having Santa here? Hmm…I wondered, and I couldn’t stop smiling as the memories of my naughty little year keep rolling back through my mind, one after another, after another…. A thundering sound on my roof startled me deep inside. It was large and loud and made my heart jump with a bit of fear. Heavy footsteps thumped above on the roof, then near my door. Do I open it? Even if I wanted to, I was too scared to move. Then the handle turned, the door creaked open very slowly… slowly…creaking… someone or something was about to come inside. What… or who…was it? A flurry of snow rushed inside, along with a swirl of cold Christmas wind. As the rush of snow settled, all I could see was a big, black boot! My fear and excitement grew and I wondered to myself, “Could it be??” And then…bam! All at once there he was, big and tall and huge as could be! I scanned him slowly, from his black boots, up his red wool covered legs, to the white fluff that trimmed his red wool coat, up to his rugged chest, to his handsome face and fluffy red and white hat. It was him! Santa had arrived!! I could see his huge, bulging pack over his shoulder. I felt a consuming wave of pleasure running through my body. This was not a fat, older, grandfatherly gentleman but a young, handsome, tall, dark Adonis of a man! Was it wrong that I was so turned on by Santa? “Well now…what have we here?” he said with a touch of amusement in his voice. I was almost afraid to speak. Was I supposed to be seeing him? What did it matter? He looked about the room. “Mmmm….this is very inviting indeed,” he said in a soft, deep voice. As he stood there, he gestured slightly with his pipe toward my somewhat barren tree that was still in need of decorating, and in the flash my tree was brightly lit and sparkling with the most wonderful decorations! “Oh Santa!” I exclaimed. He spotted a chair and landed himself on it, settling in as if relieved to stop for a moment after a long, hard night’s work. He patted his left thigh confidently, inviting me over to his lap. I got up and went over to him and gently sat on his leg. I was both excited and nervous, knowing the usual Santa drill, but with this particular Santa, I truly did not know what was going to happen next. He looked deeply into my eyes, his big brown eyes practically hypnotizing me, his commanding manner both putting me at ease and stimulating me at the same time. He leaned into me a bit and took me in his arms. I could feel the warmth of him all around me. It was intoxicating. 165 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE 1 67 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE “Now then….why don’t you tell me what you want for Christmas, my little lady?” My mind was a blank. Well, not a total blank. It was racing with thoughts about what was under Santa’s big red coat. I could spy a little bit of his toned, fit chest underneath. He was tattooed, not what you’d expect on Santa’s body, but on him it was extremely sexy. There was really only one thing I wanted. But I didn’t dare say it out loud. As I tried to think of something to say, words escaping me, he was only making it worse as his hands began to explore my body just a little bit. I felt a tingle that made my heart pound hard. “Tell you what…while you’re thinking that over, I have a few little things to tend to,” he said in a gentle, sweet tone. He slowly eased his hands away, and stood up, carefully leading me off his lap. He went over to the tree and laid out a wide assortment of presents from his huge sack - boxes and bows and sparkles and all sorts of shiny things. I was overjoyed with excitement. Then he carefully reached into his fat sack again and pulled out a large white box with a big, beautiful red ribbon around it. He smiled at me again. “Now listen to me young lady. All of these must wait until tomorrow. But this one, this one is very special. You can open this one now.” “For me?” I said, just as tickled as could be. He placed his package down and stood there by the tree. I cuddled up to the big pretty box, overjoyed and charmed by such anticipation. I admired it for a moment, as he hovered over me. I looked up at him. His big brown eyes and dark wavy hair were doing their worst at getting me all excited. I never imagined that Santa could be so sexy. “What is it?” I asked with childlike joy. “Open and see,” he answered, fidgeting with his wooden pipe a bit, waiting patiently. I turned my attention back to the present and began to open it. I untied the bow, lifted the lid and as my excitement grew, I ruffled through the bright white tissue paper inside, searched and searched and…there was nothing. Nothing but the tissue paper. Nothing? As I tried to sort out my confusion, he set down his big bag of goodies and crouched near me. He smiled and looked into my eyes. “This my dear, is what naughty little girls get for Christmas,” he said, and then he laughed loudly and mischievously, pleased with himself, enjoying his little trick. “What?!” I said with astonishment. “Well that’s just mean! You are a very mean Santa!” I TOO SEXY MAGAZINE protested, almost feeling a few tears in my eyes. “Oh, but that’s not all that I have for you, my naughty girl….” He reached over to me and held out his hand for mine. I took his hand and he slowly rose and led me to my feet. Then he came in close, moved into me, gently eased his hands around my back and leaned me back over his big, red bulging sack of goodies. He looked long and deep into my eyes, his eyes now more serious and intense, and spoke in a low, soft hypnotic tone. “I have a very special gift that I give to the naughtiest girl of all. And this year, that girl is you.” He came in close and gently placed his lips on mine. Softly at first, a few soft, easy kisses. Then the kisses became more intense, strong, long, wet sucking gently on my lower lip, sucking on my tongue, holding it for a moment then letting it easily go. His warm strong hands caressed and explored my back, my arms, my waist. He gradually felt his way down lower and lower. I started moaning softly, wrapped in incredible pleasure. Wanting more. More. “Ohhh Santa….” I whispered, “Ssaaaannntaaaa….” as I melted into him. “But…what about the children? It’s Christmas eve!” He smiled again, removed my hat, and then his coat, wrapped his big hands around me and gazed at me with his eyes like a tiger wanting me as his prey and, with a wink and a smile, he whispered “Oh don’t you worry baby. I saved your house for last…” 169 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Written by Sahara Mehrtens Photos by Jordan Whitt 1 71 QUIZ The Holidays are here, holiday decorations are just about everywhere you turn, and holiday music is filling the air. Speaking of holiday music - which carol are you? Are you full of holiday cheer and have decked the halls with the best of them, or are you a Scrooge who thinks this is all humbug? Take this quiz and find out. 1. a. b. c. 2. a. b. c. 3. a. b. c. 4. a. b. c. When it comes to decorating, you: Have a tree and minimal trimming. Your house is reminiscent of Clark Griswold’s. Decorate… no thank you, that just means I’ll have to take it all down. You’ve been invited to a Christmas Caroling group, you: Stand in the back of the chorus and sing a little. You show up first and belt every song in a perfect falsetto. You fake laryngitis - no way Jose’. It’s “Tacky Christmas Sweater Day” at work, you: Wear a red and green shirt, participation matters. Have on the gaudiest most tacky shirt in the joint. Wear a rock n’ roll t-shirt just to show everyone you don’t care. The best part about the Holidays are: The family. The … um… EVERYTHING. Bah.. Humbug! 173 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Mostly A’s - The Charlie Brown Christmas Song The holidays aren’t your favorite time of the year, you don’t go absolutely nuts and you don’t go around spreading “Christmas Cheer,” but you do enjoy it. You have a nice balance of liking the holidays and celebrating them when they are here, but you don’t beat people down on Black Friday, put your tree up the day after Halloween, or bake cookies for six weeks; and you certainly are no Ebenezer Scrooge. TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Mostly B’s - The Most Wonderful Time of the Year This is the moment you’ve been waiting for all year! You burst with excitement at the first Holiday themed commercial. Sure you could compete with Clark Griswold for most lights per square inch, and maybe your mixer is completely worn out from all of the different Christmas cookies you’ve baked, and maybe your pocketbook is completely empty from all of the shopping, but you really LOVE the Holidays. Maybe you could stand to tone it down a bit and save some of that energy for the rest of the year, but we do admire your Holiday spirit. 1 75 177 TOO SEXY MAGAZINE Mostly C’s - You’re a Mean One Mr. Grinch You’re happy the Grinch stole Christmas… all those Who’s down in Whoville with their noise noise noise. You hate the Holidays. To you they are a time when you have to spend money on things you don’t want to spend money on, make up excuses to avoid parties and other social functions, and be reminded of all of the commercialism in this world. Maybe you could stand to embrace some of the spirit, it’s not all bad. Find the good in it - maybe volunteer or adopt an angel or something like that. There is good behind all of the commercial fluff. Next Issue Preview: February 2013 Hot List: Sexy SHOES! Modeling Contest Winners! In The Bedroom… Engagement Rings That Will Make Her Say YES! Lover’s Lane Truth or Dare! And MUCH more! | DECEMBER 2012 All material used by permission and is the property of TOO SEXY. Reproduction or use of the content, in whole or in part, without the written permission of the Editor is strictly prohibited.