Naplan 1 - Book 1: Writing Skills, for years 3- 7 by Ready-Ed Publications

Ready-Ed Publications

TEACHING

NAPLAN-type *

Writing Skills

Written by an experienced NAPLAN* marker, teacher and school Principal, this book will help parents and teachers prepare children for the writing section of the English NAPLAN* programme. The activities, focusing on both narratives and persuasive essays, will empower teachers and parents to address the new writing genre and will ensure that children are aware of the essential skills required in the writing of narratives and persuasive essays. Including both genres within one book will also encourage children to recognise the differences between the two. This is the first book in a two-part series that will make a valuable addition to any teacher’s classroom resources.

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For Years 3-7

Writing Skills

~ Narratives and Persuasive Essays ~

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Also avail

able:

Teaching NAPLAN*-type Writing Skills Book 1 ISBN 978 186 397 848 4

  

Book 1 By Bill Powell

* The publisher is not an endorsed creator of materials used for annual NAPLAN* testing, and this book has been produced without consulting any Australian government bodies.

Ebook Code: REAU1141

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview.

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Acknowledgements i. Clip art images have been obtained from Microsoft Design Gallery Live and are used under the terms of the End User License Agreement for Microsoft Word 2000. Please refer to www.microsoft.com/permission.

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ISBN: 978 186 397 848 4 2

Contents

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. Foreword

The Structure of Narratives 1 Teachers’ Notes Activity 1

5 6

Audience in Narratives 1 Teachers’ Notes Activity 15

33 34

The Structure of Narratives 2 Teachers’ Notes Activity 2

7 8

Audience in Narratives 2 Teachers’ Notes Activity 16

35 36

The Structure of Narratives 3 Teachers’ Notes Activity 3

9 10

Audience in Narratives 3 Teachers’ Notes Activity 17

37 38

Audience in Persuasive Essays 1 and 2 Teachers’ Notes Activity 18 Activity 19

39 40 41

The Structure of Narratives 4 Teachers’ Notes Activity 4

11-12 13

The Structure of Narratives 5 Teachers’ Notes Activity 5

14 15

The Structure of Persuasive Essays 1,2 and 3 Teachers’ Notes 16 Activity 6 17 Activity 7 18 Activity 8 19 Teachers’ Notes on Sentence Structure Sentence Structure 1 Teachers’ Notes Activity 9 Sentence Structure 2 Teachers’ Notes Activity 10

21 22

23 24

Sentence Structure 3 Teachers’ Notes Activity 11a Activity 11b

25 26 27

Sentence Structure 4 and 5 Teachers’ Notes Activity 12 Activity 13

28 29 30

Sentence Structure 6,7 and 8 Teachers’ Notes Activity 14

31 32

Ideas in Narratives 1 and 2 Teachers’ Notes Activity 20 Activity 21

42-43 44 45

Ideas in Narratives 3 Teachers’ Notes Activity 22

46 47

Ideas in Persuasive Essays Teachers’ Notes Activity 23

48 49

Punctuation 1 Teachers’ Notes Activity 24

50 51

Punctuation 2 Teachers’ Notes Activity 25

52 53

Punctuation 3 Teachers’ Notes Activity 26a Activity 26b

54 55 56

Narrative Marking Sheet Persuasive Essay Marking Sheet Class Record Sheet - Narrative Class Record Sheet - Persuasive

57 58 59 60

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Foreword This book is designed to create an awareness of all the categories that are assessed in the writing section of the NAPLAN* tests. Because some of the activities will be challenging for students in Years 1 to 5, teachers/parents will need to be selective in deciding which activities to tackle and how much assistance they should provide for younger students. It is hoped that teachers/parents will adapt the exercises, (as well as develop similar ones of their own) to make them more relevant to the particular needs of the children under their care.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. These support notes are designed mainly to help parents who are keen to provide extra support for their children. However it is hoped that some teachers will find them both helpful and time-saving. It is especially intended that teachers will find the marking sheets and class record sheets (that can be found at the back of this book) of value. The marking sheets contain summarised descriptors of how the marks are allocated in each category. Teachers will simply need to circle the number above the particular descriptor that best relates to a studentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s work. These numbers are then added and converted to a percentage at the bottom of the sheet. When these sheets are returned to the students they will have a clear indication of where they most need to concentrate their efforts to improve. The completed Record Sheet will provide teachers with a clear overview of the strengths and weaknesses within a particular class or cohort. There are no exercises that address the category of Spelling in this book. This is because it is assumed that schools will already have their own spelling programmes in place and parents can find many excellent spelling development activities on the internet. When NAPLAN* markers assess the spelling in studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; narratives and essays they follow the guidelines specified below. Words are categorised as simple, common, difficult and challenging: Simple Words Two letter words: an, it, up, by. Three or four letter words with one syllable, one vowel sound and no phonic blends: clap, drop, egg, will, less.

Common Words Words with one syllable and two twoconsonant blends: crack, broom, catch. Words with one or two syllables and common long vowels: sail, broke, only, plastic, right. Common words with silent letters: know, write, lamb, climb. Words with suffixes that donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t change the base word: jumped, sadly, happening. Most rule driven words: having, coming, happier, heavier.

Difficult Words Three or more syllables with uneven stress patterns: chocolate, mineral, dangerous, decorate, favourite, comfortable, advantage. Uncommon vowel patterns: drought, hygiene. Difficult homophones: practice/practise, board/bored.

Challenging Words Unusual consonant/vowel patterns: guarantee, brusque, environment, debris, euphoric, discipline, camouflage, endeavour, conscious, intrigue, psychology, possess. Longer words with unstressed syllables: responsibility, mathematician, miniature, occasionally, parallel, lackadaisical.

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Suffixes where the base word changes: prefer/ preferred, relate/relation.

Many four syllable words: invisible, community, explanation, community, manufacture, incredible, kilometre, temperature. 4

Foreign and technical words: lieutenant, nonchalant, haemoglobin.

TEACHERS’ NOTES

of Narratives 1 ThisTheisStructure a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. 1. It is important that your students understand the difference between a narrative and a recount. When they write a letter or an e-mail to a friend, to tell them about a holiday, or family news etc., they are placing a list of events into a logical sequence. This is called a recount. It is not a narrative (a story). 2. Hand out Activity 1 entitled The Structure of Narratives 1. Read out James’ recount. Discuss as a class how James has written well. There are no spelling errors and his punctuation is accurate. Draw attention to the two apostrophes and the inverted commas around Frisky. He also uses good words. Discuss the meaning of the word orphan with your students. 3. Point out, however, that James would get a low mark for paragraphing. Explain why, as the children complete question one. Tell them that paragraphs break a recount, essay or story into different chunks of information that make it easier for the reader to follow. Each paragraph should start on a new line, or miss a line if the previous paragraph finishes at the end of a line. 4. Tell your students that James’ task was to write a narrative. Explain that he would get a low mark for Text Structure because he has not written a narrative. There is no complication or problem that has to be overcome. Explain that a narrative must have: i.

A beginning that tells the reader the location and time, introduces the characters and explains the complication.

ii.

A middle section that describes the events.

iii. A resolution. Students can now complete question two. 5. Outline some possible complications that could change James’ recount into a narrative: i.

When James arrived no-one was there to meet him.

ii. James was afraid that he wouldn’t like being on the farm and that his cousins would tease him. iii. James would be sad about being away from home. Students can now complete questions three and four.

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The Structure of Narratives 1

ACTIVITY 1

Read James’ work below.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. Holiday on Uncle Bob’s Farm - By James

I waved to Mum from the train as it pulled away from the platform. Two hours later the train arrived at Millstown. Uncle Bob was waiting with my two cousins to meet me. I loved staying on Uncle Bob’s farm. I rode on the tractor every day and I helped to feed the calves. I also fed a bottle full of milk to one of the lambs that was an orphan. The lamb’s name was “Frisky”. The time flew by really fast because I was having such a good time. One week later I was on the train again, heading back home to the boring black roads, the stop signs and the heavy traffic of the city.

1. James has written one long paragraph when there should be four short paragraphs. Can you draw two lines like this // in James’ recount to show where he should have started a new paragraph? Read the dot points below to help you. •

In the first paragraph James is leaving on the train.

•

In the second paragraph he arrives at Millstown.

•

The third paragraph tells us about the farm. It tells us the things that James did on the farm and how he felt about being there.

•

In the fourth paragraph James is going home again.

2. James has written a recount of his holiday at his Uncle Bob’s farm. Can you explain why it is a recount and not a story? _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ 3. To change James’ recount into a story there has to be a problem (or a complication). Brainstorm some possible problems that could have happened. You will also need to discuss how each problem could be solved (the resolution). Brainstorm

4. Do you think James likes living in the city? Circle your answer. YES Explain why you think he does, or does not, like living in the city.

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_______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ 6

TEACHERS’ NOTES

The Structure of Narratives 2

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. 1. After your students have read the two texts, they should have no problem identifying Jason’s work as the one that has a good text structure, simply because it is longer than Amy’s. However a long piece of writing does not always make a well-structured piece of writing. A long piece of writing can still be a recount and so you need to discuss the paragraphs in Jason’s writing. • •

• • •

Ask the students how many paragraphs there are (four). Discuss what the first paragraph (the beginning) tells us: where the action is happening (at the beach), who the character is and a little bit about him (a boy called Jock who loves surfing), the complication (Jock gets knocked off his surfboard, is swept out to sea and is in danger of drowning). Discuss what the second paragraph (the middle of the story) tells us: a motor boat is approaching but Jock is too tired to hold up his arms and he faints. Discuss what the third paragraph (the resolution) tells us: Jock is found and taken to the beach; the doctor tells him he is lucky to be alive. Discuss the fourth paragraph. It is a reflection. It is here that Jock thinks about (reflects upon) the events of the story and tells us what he has learnt from it. Jock won’t try to ride a knockout wave again. Sometimes the reflection is referred to as the moral of the story. Students should notice how the paragraphing relates to the Text Structure. They can then answer question two.

2. Before the students answer questions three and four, ask them to identify five good words that Jason has used and discuss their meanings. Ask them what other words he might have used instead (attempted – tried , swiftly – quickly , struggle – try, revived – awoke, fortunate – lucky). Read aloud the phrases that contain these words, replacing them with those above. Ask who likes Jason’s words better. There is no right answer to this. It is a matter of preference. The point to discuss is which word paints a clearer picture in the mind of the reader - that’s what words do - they are like an artist’s shades of colour in a painting. 3. Point out that Jason uses a simile when he says that the wave was like a bully’s fist. Draw attention to the link between this simile and the story’s title. Together they paint a picture (provide an image) in the reader’s mind of a cruel, nasty, threatening wave. This emphasises the vulnerability of Jock as he tries to surf on a mean wave. Discuss some other similes that we often use in every day speech, eg: Ran like the wind. Cried like a baby. Chattered like a monkey. Jason’s simile is a good one because it is original - he made it up himself. Ask the children to suggest a different simile that Jason could have used, eg: The wave was like… a giant claw … a tiger ready to pounce… a monster from the deep. 4. Emphasise that Amy is a good writer. However, in A Scary Thing she has written a description, not a story. She would not get good marks for Text Structure but she would get good marks for Vocabulary and Literary Devices. She paints a very clear picture of the scary thing by using excellent words and similes: monster ... squishy hair that looked like seaweed ... covered in warts ... neck as thick as its head ... skinny legs like a stick man ... smelt like compost. 5. The students can use Amy’s description as the basis of a story. Brainstorm some possibilities for a complication as a class. Ask them: What could happen after Amy slams the door and runs to her room? Where is she? Is she home alone? Is it day time or night time? What does the scary thing do? How can we give the story a happy ending? What lesson or moral (reflection) could we put at the end? When the children add a middle and an end to Amy’s description they should try to continue her use of good descriptive words and similes. They should try to make it appear as though Amy has written the whole story. In other words, they should try to help her get a good mark for Text Structure.

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The Structure of Narratives 2

ACTIVITY 2

Here are two pieces of writing that were written by children in Year Three. Only one of them was given a high mark for Text Structure. The other got a low mark because it is not a narrative. Read them both then answer the questions below.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. The Knockout Wave – by Jason

Once there was a boy named Jock who loved surfing. One day he attempted to surf on a huge wave that was curled over at the top like a bully’s fist. The wave knocked him off the surfboard and he was swept swiftly out to sea where there was no-one. Jock had to struggle hard to stop from drowning and soon he was getting very tired.

Two hours later he couldn’t swim any more. Just then he heard a motor boat coming near but when he tried to hold up his arms he was too weak and he was sure the men in the boat would not see him. Just then one of the lifeguards did see him and they took him to the beach where they revived him and asked him his name. The doctor said that Jock was fortunate to be alive. Jock got back to his family and he never tried to surf on a knockout wave again.

A Scary Thing – by Amy The door flew open and there stood the scary thing. It had the red eyes of a monster and green squishy hair that looked like seaweed. The nose was all crooked and covered in warts. Its neck was as thick as its head but the arms were skinny, like on a stick man. The legs were bandy and bent and the awful thing, whatever it was, smelt like compost. I slammed the door and ran to my room.

1. Who do you think received the better mark for Text Structure, Amy or Jason? _______________________________________________________________________ 2. Give a reason for your answer. ___________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ 3. Write down three good words that Amy has used. _______________________________________________________________________ 4. What words did Jason use instead of …

big? tried?

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5. Use the back of this sheet to add a middle and an end to Amy’s description, to help her get a good mark for Text Structure. 8

TEACHERS’ NOTES

The Structure of Narratives 3

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. 1. After the students have read the extract, they should place square brackets around the introduction as shown below.

[It was a grey old day in Mousetown when Ernest the cat captured a little mouse

called Finn Furbrown. The mice gathered together behind the wood shed and stood in shocked silence as Mayor Mouse gave them the bad news. “That rotten cat is going to eat poor Finn Furbrown for his dinner. What are we going to do about it?” There was some muttering in the crowd and a shuffling of paws on the grass. Some mice looked at the sky and others at the ground, but not one mouse looked at Mayor Mouse. “Well?” bellowed Mayor Mouse. There wasn’t a squeak from the crowd.]

2. The complication is that Ernest the cat has captured a mouse named Finn Furbrown and Tiny Mouse has set off to rescue him. 3. Phrases and clauses that emphasise Tiny’s stature are: small voice ... squealed the voice ... very small voice ... a very small mouse called Tiny. 4. Phrases and clauses which identify Mayor Mouse as a leader are: stood in shocked silence as Mayor Mouse gave them the bad news ... “What are we going to do about it?” ... not one mouse would look at Mayor Mouse ... “Well?” bellowed Mayor Mouse. 5. Discuss how the story is a good example of character development. The characters are largely revealed by their dialogue and not by the narrator of the story. The writer shows his characters to the readers in preference to telling us about them. “Show but don’t tell,” is an important principle to follow in writing fiction.

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The Structure of Narratives 3

ACTIVITY 3

Read the story below. As you are reading study the structure of the story.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. It was a grey old day in Mousetown when Ernest the cat captured a little mouse called Finn Furbrown. The mice gathered together behind the wood shed and stood in shocked silence as Mayor Mouse gave them the bad news. “That rotten cat is going to eat poor Finn Furbrown for his dinner. What are we going to do about it?” There was some muttering in the crowd and a shuffling of paws on the grass. Some mice looked at the sky and others at the ground, but not one mouse looked at Mayor Mouse. “Well?” bellowed Mayor Mouse. There wasn’t a squeak from the crowd. After a long time, Mayor Mouse heard a very small voice from the back of the crowd. “Finn Furbrown is my friend and I will rescue him,” squeaked the voice. Out from the mob stepped the owner of the very small voice, a very small mouse called Tiny. “Why, what a brave mouse!” said one mouse to another. “Of course, I’d have gone but I am very busy at the moment,” said another. And so Tiny Mouse was given a shiny, sharp pin to use as a sword and some dried cat food to use as bait. He was also given a map of the house so that he could find his way to where it was thought Finn Furbrown was being kept prisoner. “Good luck,” some mice called. “Be brave,” said others. It was a very nervous, but determined Tiny who stuck his trembling nose out of the hole behind the fridge. “All clear”, he thought, starting off on his quest to find Ernest.

1. Put square brackets, like this [ ] around the introduction. 2. What is the complication of the story? _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ 3. Identify three phrases or clauses that tell us that Tiny Mouse is very small. _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ 4. Identify three phrases or clauses that characterise Mayor Mouse as a leader. _______________________________________________________________________

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_______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ 10

TEACHERS’ NOTES

The Structure of Narratives 4

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. 1. Below is the correct setting out of the story for Activity 4.

Paragraph 1: The setting and the complication (the beginning). Paragraph 2: The blacksmith (the middle). Paragraph 3: The baker. Paragraph 4: The butcher. Paragraph 5: The resolution (the ending).

Once upon a time there lived a king and a queen. They had a son and a daughter and they all lived together in a big stone castle. One day the king said to his son, “Go out into the land and find a perfect young man who can marry your sister. She is nearly twenty years old now and so it’s time she had a husband to take care of her. He must be brave and strong and have enough money to give her all the things that a princess needs.” So the prince set off on his white stallion to find a husband for his sister. In the first village he saw a blacksmith hitting hot metal bars with a big hammer. The blacksmith was big and strong and always happy but he was very poor. “The blacksmith doesn’t have enough money to give my sister all the things that a princess needs,” the prince said. In the second village he found a baker. The baker worked very hard every day, making bread to sell in the market place. He was young and strong and very handsome but he was very poor. “The baker doesn’t have enough money to give my sister all the things that a princess needs,” the prince said. In the third village the prince found a butcher. The butcher had lots of money but he was very dirty and untidy. “The butcher is not proud enough to marry a princess,” said the prince and so he continued on his journey, looking everywhere for a perfect husband for his sister. At last, after months of searching, tired and weary, the prince returned to his father’s castle. “Father,” he said to the king, “I have searched everywhere but I cannot find a perfect man to marry my sister.” “Never mind,” said the king. “The Duke of Yobboland has a son who loves her. They got married last week.” 2. Draw attention to the story’s structure and how the paragraphs relate to it. The children need to understand the difference between a new paragraph and a new line that has to be started when, in dialogue, a different character speaks. In the first four paragraphs, only one character uses dialogue and so a new line is not required. In the last paragraph however, two characters are given dialogue and so a new line has to be started when the second character speaks. The second piece of dialogue starts a new line but no space has been left because it is not a new paragraph.

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TEACHERS’ NOTES

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. Extension Activities

The main focus of this exercise is paragraphing, but, as usual, other factors come into play and teachers, without placing too much emphasis upon them, should draw the children’s attention to punctuation, commas and synonyms. The Punctuation of Dialogue (Direct Speech)

Dialogue always begins with “ and ends with ,” For example: “The blacksmith doesn’t have enough money to give my sister all the things that a princess needs,” the prince said. Also note that a new line is started whenever a different or second character speaks within any one paragraph. An example of this occurs at the end of the story. Commas Commas are important guides to reading. They show the reader where to pause and where new information is added. They can change the sense of a sentence, depending where they are placed. Write the following sentences on the board and in turn place the comma as indicated below. Read the sentence aloud, pausing at the comma each time. Only one is correct. Ask students which one it is. i. The baker worked very hard every day making, bread to sell in the market place. ii. The baker worked very hard, every day making bread to sell in the market place. iii. The baker worked very hard every day, making bread to sell in the market place. iv. The baker worked, very hard every day making bread to sell in the market place. Synonyms Write the following on the whiteboard: Synonyms: town proceeded attractive horse travels ideal Here are six words from Jodie’s story: handsome, perfect, stallion, village, journey, continued. Instruct the children to find the words on the activity sheet and read aloud the sentences that contain those words. Then ask them to select a word from the whiteboard that Jodie could have used instead. Ask: Which words do you prefer? Are Jodie’s words more accurate than those on the board? In each case which word gives the better and slightly more accurate meaning? It is important to be continually reminding children to be aware that there are always alternative words that they can use so that meaning is precise - they must be fussy, or particular, about this. For example, stallion is more accurate than horse. Ask them to explain why and what word they would use if it were a female horse.

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The Structure of Narratives 4

ACTIVITY 4

Here are the sentences from a narrative written by a girl named Jodi. Cut out the sentences and glue them onto a piece of blank paper. The sentences are numbered so that you can glue them in the correct order. You must decide where new lines begin and where new paragraphs start by leaving spaces between the sentences.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. 1. Once upon a time there lived a king and a queen.

2. They had a son and a daughter and they all lived together in a big stone castle. 3. One day the king said to his son, “Go out into the land and find a perfect young man who can marry your sister. 4. She is nearly twenty years old now and so it’s time she had a husband to take care of her. 5. He must be brave and strong and have enough money to give her all the good things that a princess needs.” 6. So the prince set off on his white stallion to find a husband for his sister. 7. In the first village he saw a blacksmith hitting hot metal bars with a big hammer. 8. The blacksmith was big and strong and always happy but he was very poor. 9. “The blacksmith doesn’t have enough money to give my sister all things that a princess needs,” the prince said. 10. In the second village he found a baker. 11. The baker worked very hard every day, making bread to sell in the market place. 12. He was young and strong and very handsome but he was very poor. 13. “The baker doesn’t have enough money to give my sister all the things that a princess needs,” the prince said. 14. In the third village the prince found a butcher. 15. The butcher had lots of money but he was very dirty and untidy. 16. . “The butcher is not proud enough to marry a princess,” said the prince and so he continued on his journey, looking everywhere for a perfect husband for his sister. 17. At last, after months of searching, tired and weary, the prince returned to his father’s castle. 18. “Father,” he said to the king, “I have searched everywhere but I cannot find a perfect man to marry my sister.”

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19. “Never mind,” said the king.

20. “The Duke of Yobboland has a son who loves her. 21. They got married last week.”

TEACHERS’ NOTES

The Structure of Narratives 5

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. 1. Here is the correct paragraph structure for the extract:

The old women, more than sixty of them, were beginning to screech and jump off their seats as though sticks were being stuck into their bottoms. A few of them jumped up on to their chairs, others were standing on the tables and all of them were wiggling about and moving their heads in an extraordinary way. Then all at once, they became silent. Then they froze. Every old lady stood as stiff and quiet as a corpse. The whole room became hauntingly still. The distinction between the two paragraphs is very clear. The first one describes all the action. The second one moves to silence. Everything is suddenly very still. There is no action. 2. Discuss the shades of meaning between the writer’s words and those listed below. starting / beginning

No real difference.

chairs /seats

There is a difference here. They might not be sitting on chairs. They could be seated on benches or even stools. The writer doesn’t specify. He/she leaves it to the reader to decide.

shaking / wiggling

There is an important difference. Wiggling suggests short rapid movements. Shaking could be describing slower movements.

unusual / extraordinary

There is a sense of surprise and astonishment implied by the word extraordinary. It is a much stronger word than unusual. It is unusual for rain to fall in summer but it is not extraordinary.

carcass / corpse

Both words refer to a dead body. However corpse is usually applied to a dead human. Carcass is used when describing a dead animal.

3. Similes When the children have had time to write some similes of their own, select some of them to read aloud to the class. Discuss them and compare them to those used by the writer. (Notice the connection between corpse and deathly still. The writer creates a spooky sense of fear by using this link.)

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The Structure of Narratives 5

ACTIVITY 5

1. Below is a short piece of writing. Two paragraphs have been joined into one. It is your job to separate them again. You can draw a red line between the two paragraphs, or you can cut them out and glue them onto a blank piece of paper, leaving a gap between them.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. The old women, more than sixty of them, were beginning to screech and jump off their seats as though sticks were being stuck into their bottoms. A few of them jumped up on to their chairs, others were standing on the tables and all of them were wiggling about and moving their heads in an extraordinary way. Then all at once, they became silent. Then they froze. Every old lady stood as stiff and quiet as a corpse. The whole room became hauntingly still.

2. Which words that the writer has used mean nearly the same as the ones below? starting

_________________________________________________

chairs

_________________________________________________

shaking

_________________________________________________

unusual

_________________________________________________

carcass

_________________________________________________

3. The writer uses two similes that help the readers get a clear picture of the scene in their minds. Try to replace the similes that he used with two of your own. SIMILE 1 â&#x20AC;Ś screech and jump off their seats as though sticks were being stuck into their bottoms. â&#x20AC;Ś screech and jump off their seats as though _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ SIMILE 2 Every old lady stood as stiff and quiet as a corpse. Every old lady stood as stiff and quiet

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_______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ 15

TEACHERS’ NOTES

The Structure of Persuasive Essays 1, 2 and 3

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. 1. Some important principles to establish when teaching the structure of the persuasive essay are:

• There is no right or wrong answer. It does not matter whether the student agrees or disagrees with the statement. For example some children might be tempted to agree with a statement like, Schools should always give children regular homework, because they suspect that they will be marked harshly if they disagree with it. Children must write what they really believe. • Students’ essays should open with a sentence that is a short and concise declaration of their opinion. This is referred to as a hook. • Arguments should be categorised into separate paragraphs, each with a topic sentence that usually, but not always, comes first. • The final paragraph restates the students’ position and rounds off the case.

2. Children in the junior and middle years should not necessarily have to provide more than one or two paragraphs of argument. In the sample essays provided on the activity sheets, children in Years Three or Five could exclude arguments two and/or three. In the more senior year levels (Year Seven or higher) they should be encouraged to write one or two more paragraphs of argument. However it is important that they avoid repeating the same arguments in subsequent paragraphs. That is why the outlined planning steps must be followed. 3. On page 17 for question two, students should be able to identify that the three parts to a persuasive piece are: the introduction, the body and the conclusion. For question three they should understand that a topic sentence introduces the main argument that will follow. 4. As students read the first response, point out the following: • The writer depicts skateboards as dangerous (poorly controlled), in contrast to children who are seen as vulnerable (innocent) and later as helpless (skittles). Children who don’t ride skateboards are cleverly made to be seen as victims. • The writer uses repetition for effect: ...never have to be afraid... never have to worry... no posts or steps, no rubbish bins or roses... safe to learn, safe to play, safe to grow. • The writer emphasises the safety of the skateboard park. • The writer opens with an emphatic statement. • The writer uses modality: People should understand ... can cause injury ... should never have to be afraid. • The writer uses emotive words: too dangerous... poorly controlled ... exciting ramps ... smooth concrete ... little risk ... speeding out of control. • The writer uses a simile: scatter them like skittles.

5. As students read the second response on page 18, point out the following: • This essay relies entirely on reason, unlike the first response (page 17) that has a mixture of reasoned and emotive argument. That is why, although this is still a good essay, it is not as effective as the first response. Point out the following: • Rhyme is used in the opening sentence: great mate is a good hook. It is also an emphatic and clear statement. The writer is with it. • The writer makes a constant link with physical fitness implying that people who don’t like skateboards are unfit wimps who won’t take risks. • The writer links fitness and the skills required, to those of other sports that are acceptable in schools. • The writer uses modality: should be listed … should not ban … should move … continually practising … all sports. • The writer uses emphatic words: Actually a sport … impossible to be … needs excellent balance.

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The Structure of Persuasive Essays 1

ACTIVITY 6

In a persuasive task you will always be given a statement of another person’s opinion. Then you will be asked to say whether you agree or disagree with that opinion. Here is an example: Skateboard riding should not be allowed at school.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. 1. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? ______________________________

It is quite okay if you can’t decide whether to agree or disagree. However, if you take this approach then you need to explain BOTH sides of the argument. Read the response below to the statement above. It agrees with the statement. Pay special attention to how the information is organised. Structure or procedure Introduction: agrees or disagrees with the topic by making a firm clear statement followed by two or three sentences that outline the arguments to follow.

Body 1st paragraph

Body 2nd paragraph

Body 3rd paragraph

Conclusion: restates the opening and makes a closing comment that summarises the arguments.

An essay that agrees with the statement. Skateboards are too dangerous to be used at school. People should understand that a skateboard is a form of transport. It has wheels like a car or a bicycle and it takes skill to ride one. A poorly controlled skateboard at a busy school can cause injury, not just to the rider, but also to innocent children who happen to be close by. There is a very sensible reason why skateboards aren’t allowed to be ridden on school grounds. People can be injured by them. It’s as simple as that. School verandahs, footpaths and playgrounds are places where children must be free to walk and play safely. Children should never have to be afraid to step out of their classrooms. They should never have to worry that a skateboard might come zooming into them and scatter them like skittles. Most towns and shires have a specially designed skateboard park where people can play on their skateboards after school or on weekends. These parks have exciting ramps and ledges made of smooth concrete. There are no posts or steps, no rubbish bins or rose bushes for the skateboards to crash into. More importantly, because there are no other people trying to play different games, there is little risk of injury to others. It takes a lot of practice before a person can control a skateboard. During this practice time skateboards are very risky, especially when the rider is young. This is because young primary school children don’t have the strength in their legs or ankles to turn the skateboard away from objects or people. A school is not a place for skateboards. A school is a place where children should feel safe - safe to learn, safe to play and safe to grow, without the risk of being injured by skateboards that are speeding out of control.

2. You should now be able to recognise that there are three parts to a persuasive essay’s structure. Write them here. (Note that the middle section can have more than one paragraph.) _______________________________________________________________________

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3. Look at the topic sentences that are underlined. What is the purpose of these topic sentences? _______________________________________________________________________ 17

The Structure of Persuasive Essays 2

ACTIVITY 7

Now read another response to the statement Skateboard riding should not be allowed at school. Unlike the response on page 17 it disagrees with the statement. However it follows the same structure. When you are reading pay special attention to how the information is organised.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. Structure or procedure

An essay that disagrees with the statement.

Introduction: agrees or disagrees with the topic by making a firm clear statement followed by two or three sentences that outline the arguments to follow.

Skateboard riding is great mate. But schools don’t get it. It’s not just exciting fun. It’s actually a sport. And like all sports (football, basketball, netball etc) it requires physical fitness and special skills that take hours of hard work to master. That’s why it should be listed as a sport that kids can do at school.

Body 1st paragraph

It is impossible to be a good skateboard rider if you aren’t physically fit. That’s because there are many different rides, like ollies, flips, street rides and rail slides. Continually practising to get these rides perfect, develops and improves physical fitness.

Body 2nd paragraph

A good skateboard rider needs excellent balance, a great sense of timing and the ability to concentrate for hours and hours. These all contribute to good health and self discipline. All sports, from surfing to soccer, have competitions for both boys and girls. Even though it is a non-contact sport, safety gear is worn to prevent injury. Schools need to provide their students with opportunities to experience these competitions so that they can discover their talents and decide what sports they want to play later in life.

Body 3rd paragraph

Conclusion: restates the opening and makes a closing comment that summarises the arguments.

Schools should not ban skateboard riding. They should move with the times and include it in their programmes.

Some of you will agree with the response on page 17, while others will agree with the response above. After reading both essays you might have been persuaded to change your opinion. Which essay do you think does a better job at persuading? The important thing to realise is that they are both good essays. In the box write down two examples of persuasive writing from each essay. First Essay

Second Essay

1. ____________________________________

_______________________________________

2. ____________________________________

_______________________________________

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The Structure of Persuasive Essays 3

ACTIVITY 8

You are going to plan and then write a persuasive essay and structure it in the way that you have learned. Use a highlighter to choose one of the persuasive topics below.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. Bullies never win.

It can sometimes be good to tell a lie.

Good fences make good neighbours.

The world is no longer a safe place.

School is not the best place to learn.

My parents should buy me an air rifle.

Contact sports should be banned because they teach aggression and violence.

The human being is Mother Natureâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s big mistake.

1. Are you going to agree or disagree with the topic? __________________________ 2. Remember that your opening sentence must make it clear that you either agree or disagree with the statement. Reread the opening sentences of the essays on pages 17 and 18 to give you ideas. Write your opening sentence here: _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ 3. Write two, three or four points of argument that support your opening sentence. For examples see the underlined sentences in the essays on page 17. _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ 4. Now write your closing sentence. Look at the closing sentences on pages 17 and 18 for ideas. _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________

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_______________________________________________________________________ Now that you have the outline of your essay you simply need to expand your points into paragraphs by adding extra detail. Your teacher will give you some lined paper so that you can write your complete essay or you can use the back of this sheet. 19

Teachers’ Notes on Sentence Structure

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. 1. Sentence Structure is possibly the most difficult category for children to master and requires constant practice from the pupils and patience from the teacher. Explain to the students that sentences have four functions: To make a statement To ask a question To give a command To express an exclamation -

We went to the beach. Where did you go? Stop that now. What a fantastic idea!

2. NAPLAN* markers are required to look for a variety of simple, compound and complex sentences. The highest marks are awarded to students who use a good mix of each type of sentence and use them correctly without being clumsy or repetitive. Marks can range from zero, where there is no evidence of any sentences at all, to a maximum of six, where all sentences are controlled, well-developed and express precise meaning. However you need to be aware that for a student to score more than two marks in this category, there must be at least two correct complex sentences, each of which has a different type of structure. 3. The aim of this section in the book is to teach the children the difference between a simple, compound and complex sentence. At the end of this section students should understand that: • •

•

A simple sentence is one that contains a single clause. (A clause has a verb. A phrase does not.) For example: We went to the beach. A compound sentence contains two or more simple sentences (clauses), joined together by words like: and, but, then, and so. These joining words are known as conjunctions. For example: We went to the beach and had a swim OR We went to the beach, had a swim and played in the sand. The clauses in a compound sentence are linked in such a way as to give each one an equal status. A complex sentence contains at least one main (embedded) clause and at least one subordinate clause or phrase. A subordinate clause or phrase is one that could be left out without rendering the remaining sentence meaningless. In a complex sentence not all of the clauses or phrases can make sense if they stand alone. Here are three examples of complex sentences: i. We went to the beach and had a swim last Monday. Here we have two clauses that are equal. They could stand alone as separate sentences and are equal in importance. We went to the beach. We had a swim. But the phrase last Monday cannot stand alone as a sentence. Therefore it is subordinate. ii. Feeling glad that the job was finished they relaxed in the pool. They relaxed in the pool stands alone. Feeling glad that the job was finished cannot make any sense on its own and is subordinate to the main sentence. iii. The carnival is on, whether it rains or not. The carnival is on stands alone. Whether it rains or not cannot stand alone and is therefore subordinate.

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Students should remember - if there is at least one subordinate clause or phrase, it is a complex sentence. If there are two or more clauses that could all stand alone as separate sentences, then it is a compound sentence. If there is only one clause then it is a simple sentence.

* The publisher is not an endorsed creator of materials used for annual NAPLAN* testing, and this book has been produced without consulting any Australian government bodies.

TEACHERSâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; NOTES

Sentence Structure 1

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. 1. Activity 9 is fairly straightforward. The children are simply required to separate each compound sentence into two simple sentences. I bought a chocolate.

I bought an ice cream.

My Dad likes tennis.

My Dad likes golf.

I have a brother.

I have no sisters.

I was very tired.

I went to bed.

Jack will come on Saturday.

Jane will come on Sunday.

Extension Activity Point out to the children that the two sentences in each pair are equal. One is not more important than the other. Therefore, when we put them into one sentence by using a joining word, it doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t matter which one comes first. Get the children to write the five compound sentences again but with the clauses or phrases in the reverse order. (You might prefer to do this orally on the whiteboard.) I bought an ice cream and a chocolate. My Dad likes golf and tennis. I have no sisters but I have a brother. I went to bed because I was very tired. Jane will come on Sunday and Jack will come on Saturday. Notice that with the penultimate pair we have to use a different joining word, depending on which clause comes first: I was very tired so I went to bed. OR Because I was very tired I went to bed.

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Sentence Structure 1

ACTIVITY 9

A sentence is a group of words that are arranged to express ideas. Look at the two sentences below. They each have one idea.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. My dog is black.

My dog has a short tail.

Often we can put two ideas together into one sentence by using a joining word. Look at the example below. My dog is black and has a short tail. The joining word is and. Notice that we only had to use the words my dog once. Read the sentences below. They have two ideas and use joining words. Put a ring around the joining words in these sentences and then write the two ideas as separate sentences. The first one has been done for you. 1. I bought a chocolate and an ice cream. I bought a chocolate.

I bought an ice cream.

2. My Dad likes tennis and golf. My Dad likes ___________________ .

My Dad likes ___________________ .

3. I have a brother but no sisters. I have a ___________________ .

I have no ___________________ .

4. I was very tired so I went to bed. I was ___________________ .

I went ___________________ .

5. Jack will come on Saturday and Jane will come on Sunday. Jack will _________________________________________________ .

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Jane will _________________________________________________ .

TEACHERSâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; NOTES

Sentence Structure 2

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. 1. It is important that children understand that the order of the words in a sentence can often be changed around without affecting the meaning of the ideas being expressed. If you enlarge Activity 10 to A3 size on card, the oval shapes can be cut out and the children can arrange them in order. When they have been assured that a sentence is correct they must change the first letter to a capital and put a full stop at the end. (Note that all sentences in this activity are complex sentences because each one has a subordinate phrase.) 2. Tell the students that the oval shapes in Group 1 can be correctly placed in two different ways: (a) On Monday the school was closed because it was a holiday. (b) The school was closed on Monday because it was a holiday.

There is a third way to write this sentence but we have to make a slight change: (c) Because Monday was a holiday, the school was closed.

Notice the importance of the comma in this sentence. A slight pause after holiday when reading this sentence aloud makes the meaning crystal clear. 3. Tell the students that the shapes in Group 2 can be correctly placed in two different ways: (a) Amy had a picnic by the river on her birthday. (b) On her birthday Amy had a picnic by the river.

The third possibility however is not correct: (c) By the river Amy had a picnic on her birthday.

This is because by the river tells us where the picnic took place and so it must be placed immediately after the word picnic. 4. Tell the students that the oval shapes in Group 3 can be correctly placed in two different ways: (a) Peter went to see his friend Josh after breakfast and they played football. (b) After breakfast Peter went to see his friend Josh and they played football.

5. Before students attempt question two, teach them that verbs are doing words and that every sentence must have a verb. Students should underline or circle the verbs in each oval shape. Tell them that some oval shapes, because they are phrases and not clauses, will not have a verb. For example, point out that, On Monday in Group 1 does not have a verb, but the clause the school was closed contains the verb was closed. Tell your students that often a verb needs a helping word to make its meaning clear, eg, was closed, is closed, etc. Was, is, are, were, has, have, had are always either verbs or parts of verbs. Students should identify the following: because it was a holiday by the river Amy had a picnic on her birthday after breakfast and they played football Peter went to see his friend Josh

The verb is was. There is no verb. The verb is had. There is no verb. There is no verb. The verb is played. The verbs are went and see.

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6. Tell the students that if a group of words contains a verb, it is called a clause. If it does not have a verb it is called a phrase. A clause can be a sentence on its own but a phrase cannot. In other words a clause becomes a simple sentence if it has a capital letter at the beginning and a full stop at the end. The children should now write a C for clause or a P for phrase next to the oval shapes in Activity 10. 23

Sentence Structure 2

ACTIVITY 10

1. Each group below has three ideas. Your task is to put the three ideas in each group into one sentence. Make sure that your new sentence starts with a capital letter and ends with a full stop. Write two possibilities for each group.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. Group 1

on Monday

the school was closed

because it was a holiday

_____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________

Group 2 by the river

Amy had a picnic

on her birthday

_____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________

Group 3 and they played football

after breakfast

Peter went to see his friend Josh

_____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________

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2. Underline or circle the verbs in each oval shape. Some shapes, because they are phrases and not clauses, will not have a verb. 3. Write a C for clause or a P for phrase next to each oval shape. 24

TEACHERS’ NOTES

Sentence Structure 3

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. 1. Before the children commence Activity 11a and b point out carefully that they are only allowed to write ONE sentence for each group of words. Discuss the clues and the order in which the events would most likely occur. Ask them: Would Lady Jane fall asleep before she swam the river, or after? Why? So what must happen first in our sentence? With the third sentence, ask them whether they could put the parts of the sentence in the following order:

Minnie the mouse could see two long tables peeping out of the lady’s handbag and eight wooden chairs. Discuss with your students what is wrong with this sentence. Ask: Are the tables peeping out of the handbag? Could tables fit into the handbag? Can tables peep? What is doing the peeping – the tables, the chairs or the mouse? What did the mouse see when it peeped out of the handbag? What you are teaching here is that the order of events in a sentence is very important, that sentences must give a clear picture to the reader and that they must make sense. 2. Here is the answers to questions four, five, six and seven: 4. When I pushed the button the light came on and went off when I pushed it again. 5. In the early spring, when the weather was warmer, the tortoise would wake up and crawl very slowly into the sun. 6. Mr. Hoppy watched as Mrs. Silver picked the tortoise up and stroked its shell. 7. “Stop now,” called the teacher. “It is time to change your library books.” OR “Stop,” called the teacher. “Now it is time to change your library books.” OR “It is time to change your library books,” called the teacher. “Stop now.” Extension Activity Of the first eight boxes on page 26, there are seven clauses and only one phrase. You could perhaps ask the children to identify the one phrase. Remember, phrases cannot stand alone as independent sentences because they have no verb, so the best way for the children to identify it, is to ask them, Which one has no doing word and does not make sense on its own? The obvious answer is and eight wooden chairs. The third sentence therefore is a complex sentence, because not only does it contain the phrase and eight wooden chairs, it also has a subordinate clause that cannot make sense on its own: Peeping out of the lady’s handbag. If we omit this subordinate clause we still have a sentence that makes sense: Minnie the mouse could see two long tables and eight wooden chairs.

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Sentence Structure 3

ACTIVITY 11a

Make each group of phrases or clauses into ONE sentence. Arrange the phrases or clauses in any order that you please, so that they make sense. Don’t forget to start with a capital letter and finish with a full stop.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. 1.

Sir Bob called to his men

Sir Bob sprang upon his horse

_______________________________________________________________________ Clues:

(i) It doesn’t matter which clause comes first. (ii) Only write Sir Bob once. (iii) Use the word and somewhere in your sentence.

she crawled wearily onto the muddy bank

she fell sound asleep

Lady Jane swam across the river _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ Clues:

(i) Don’t use the word she at all. (ii) Use the word and somewhere in your sentence. (iii) Use one comma. (iv) Lady Jane swam the river BEFORE she crawled onto the bank and she fell asleep LAST.

Minnie the mouse could see two long tables

and eight wooden chairs

peeping out of the lady’s handbag _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ Clue:

Minnie the mouse was inside the lady’s handbag.

and went off

when I pushed the button

the light came on

when I pushed it again

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_______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________

Sentence Structure 3

ACTIVITY 11b

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. 5.

in early spring

the tortoise would wake up

into the sunshine

and crawl very slowly

when the weather was warmer

_______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ 6.

and stroked its shell

Mr. Hoppy watched

as Mrs. Silver picked the tortoise up _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ Arrange the words in the boxes to make two sentences. Put in all the correct punctuation. 7.

now

it is time

called the teacher

stop to change your library books

_______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________

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TEACHERS’ NOTES

Sentence Structure 4

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. 1. Students should put a red ring around: Then I waited. (Simple sentence.)

2. Students should put a blue ring around: I listened (but) I could hear nothing. (Compound sentence.) 3. Students should put a yellow ring around: (When) the alarm clock woke me up - I stretched – (and) yawned. I opened the door – walked quietly to the kitchen – (and) had a drink of water. Everyone was asleep. – (so) I went back to bed – (and) read my book. (All complex sentences) Answers to questions four and five: 4. Tom bought an ice cream and a chocolate. (Compound sentence.) 5. Very slowly she bent down and picked me up with one hand. (Complex sentence.)

Sentence Structure 5 Here are some suggested answers to the tasks on the activity page: 1. (a) In my house at the moment I have a rabbit, a horse and three dogs. I have always had pets and I love all animals. That is why I work at a zoo. (b) Her hair, that was the same colour as a carrot, was tied in two pigtails that stood straight out from her head. Under her small potato-like nose, she had a very large mouth that was full of white healthy teeth. 2. (a) Dorothy leaned her chin upon her hand and gazed thoughtfully at the scarecrow. It was wearing old boots stuffed with straw. On its head, that was made out of a sack and also stuffed with straw, sat an old painted hat that had once belonged to an old grandmother. (b) At last Dot saw that the snake was getting weaker and weaker. The kookaburra, little by little, flew higher with it until it reached a branch high up in the tree. The snake was writhing in agony and Dot could quite clearly see that the kookaburra had won the battle.

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Sentence Structure 4

ACTIVITY 12

Some sentences can be very long and have lots of ideas in them. Others can be short and have only one or two ideas. Good writing must contain a mixture of long and short sentences. If all of the sentences are short the writing will sound boring.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. Read the paragraph below out loud. It is made up of 13 short sentences and sounds awkward.

The alarm clock woke me up. I stretched. I yawned. I stood up. I listened. I could hear nothing. I opened the door. I walked quietly to the kitchen. I had a drink of water. I waited. Everyone was asleep. I went back to bed. I read my book. Now read this paragraph aloud and hear the difference. When the alarm clock woke me up I stretched and yawned. I listened but I could hear nothing. I opened the door, walked quietly to the kitchen and had a drink of water. Then I waited. Everyone was asleep, so I went back to bed and read my book. The second paragraph is made up of: three sentences with three ideas; one sentence with two ideas and one sentence with one idea. 1. Put a red ring around the sentence that has one idea. 2. Put a blue ring around the sentence that has two ideas. 3. Put a yellow ring around the three sentences that have three ideas. 4. Below are two ideas. Join them to create ONE sentence that contains both ideas. You will only need to write Tom bought once and add the word and. Tom bought an ice cream.

Tom bought a chocolate.

_______________________________________________________________________ 5. Below are four ideas. Can you join them together into ONE sentence? she bent down

and picked me up

with one hand.

Very slowly

_______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________

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Clues:

The writer is a mouse. The first idea starts with a capital letter. The last idea ends with a full stop.

Sentence Structure 5

ACTIVITY 13

1. Reduce the two passages below to only two or three sentences without changing any of the meaning. Try to strike a balance between short (simple) and longer (compound or complex) sentences.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. a. Change this passage from five to three sentences.

In my house at the moment I have a rabbit. I also have a horse and three dogs. I have always had pets. I love all animals. That is why I work at a zoo.

_______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ b. Change this passage from seven to two sentences. Her hair was the same colour as a carrot. Her hair was tied in two pigtails. The pigtails stood straight out from her head. Her nose looked like a potato. It was a small potato. Under the nose was a very large mouth. It was full of white healthy teeth. _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ 2. The passages below each consist of one long, rambling sentence. Without changing the meaning, rewrite them so that they consist of two or three sentences each. Dorothy leaned her chin upon her hand and gazed thoughtfully at the scarecrow that had a head made out of a sack stuffed with straw and an old painted blue hat that once belonged to an old grandmother sat on its head and it also wore some old boots stuffed with straw. a. _____________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ At last Dot saw that the snake was getting weaker and weaker for little by little the kookaburra flew higher with it until it reached a branch high up in the tree and the snake was writhing in agony and Dot could quite clearly see that the kookaburra had won the battle.

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b. _____________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ 30

TEACHERSâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; NOTES

Sentence Structure 6

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. 1. The purpose of the basic sentence analysis in this activity is to enable the children to locate the subject of a sentence, because subjective (sometimes called nominative) pronouns can only be used in the subject of sentences. The subject of a sentence is identified by asking, Who or what is performing the action of the verb? Here are the answers to the first exercise: Verb chased climbed limped sang hurried flew ate

Subject The dog Sally The old man Mrs. Foghorn The old man The witch Mr. Skinny

Object the cat the tree --------------------------------------------an apple

Adverbs/ Adverbial Phrases down the road (where) this morning (when) painfully (how) across the road (where) out of tune (how) at the assembly (where) because he was late (why) across the rooftops (where) at midnight (when) at ten oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;clock (when)

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Sentence Structure 6

ACTIVITY 14

There are four different parts of a sentence. Those parts are: • The verb of a sentence. (Remember all sentences must have a verb.) • The subject of a sentence. • The object (if any) of a sentence. • The adverbial phrases or adverbs (if any) of a sentence.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. Look at this short sentence.

The dog chased the cat down the road.

Now let’s break it up into the four parts above. What is the doing word? Answer: chased.

Verb chased

Who or what performed the action of the verb “chased”? Answer: the dog.

Who or what is the target of the verb? (i.e., who or what was chased?) Answer: the cat. (Note: Not all sentences have an object.)

Subject The dog

Object the cat

Are there any words or phrases that tell us how, when, where or why the action is taking place? Answer: down the road. (The phrase tells us where.)

Adverbs/ Adverbial Phrases down the road. (where)

Practise this type of analysis on the sentences below. Write the parts of each sentence in the table. Remember, to find the answers, you simply ask the same questions as those above. (* These two have been done for you.) i. The dog chased the cat down the road. * ii. Sally climbed the tree this morning. iii. The old man limped painfully across the road. * iv. Mrs. Foghorn sang out of tune at the assembly. v. The old man hurried because he was late. vi. At midnight the witch flew across the rooftops. vii. At ten o’clock Mr. Skinny ate an apple. Verb i. chased

Subject The dog

Object the cat

Adverbs/ Adverbial Phrases down the road (where)

ii. iii. limped

The old man

–

painfully (how) across the road (where)

iv.

v. vi. vii. 32

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TEACHERS’ NOTES

Audience in Narratives 1

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. 1. A writer who has control over their audience: • engages the reader by evoking an emotional response that is relevant to the tone of the writing; • includes all necessary information and leaves no gaps for the reader to fill in; • understands the difference between an oral and a written register and uses a voice that is appropriate for the intended reader.

2. Many children, particularly in the junior years, tend to assume that the reader has had the same experiences as they have had, and has the same background knowledge as they have. Consequently, they often leave out vital information in their writing, and therefore it is important that children often hear their own writing being read back to them in class, preferably by a classmate. This needs to become a regular procedure so that children are always aware that their work is going to be read to the class, by someone else. 3. Read the first example (dialogue) on the activity sheet aloud to the class and ask them to tell you what is happening. Establish that we have no idea when or where the action is taking place, who answered the policeman or why that person couldn’t see the river. The point to make is that a writer has to provide all this additional information for it to make sense to the reader. Here are some possible answers to the first question: We are not told: • that it is night time; • that the other person is a young man; • why the young man cannot see the river; • that the policeman was shining a torch into the young man’s face; • that the young man thought that he might fall into the river. 4. Discuss the following questions after the second passage has been read aloud: What has come to a stop? We know that it has a head so it must be an animal that the writer is riding. List the possibilities: a horse, a donkey, a camel, an elephant. The most likely answer is a horse because that is the animal most commonly used for carrying people. But it might not be. Who asks, “What happened?” We know that the person is a female. List the possibilities: the writer’s mother, or sister, or grandmother. The list of possibilities is endless. After discussing the above two questions, point out to the children that they have been trying to fill in the gaps and that a good writer doesn’t leave gaps. 5. When the children have rewritten the passage read some of their answers aloud to the class and/or collect them for marking. Check that the following information is included: • the pronoun it has been replaced with a common noun for an animal and that the animal is one that people normally ride. Don’t accept lion or polar bear etc.; • the pronoun she has been replaced with either a common noun or a proper noun and preferably with a little more information about the relationship between the writer and the character, i.e, my mother or my Aunt Susan etc.

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Audience in Narratives 1

ACTIVITY 15

Sometimes a writer’s meaning is not clear because important linking words or phrases are wrong or left out altogether. Discuss with your teacher what is wrong with this: “Hey,” cried the policeman. “Where are you going?” “Home,” he answered. “Well why are you standing here?” “Because I can’t see where the river is.”

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. The person who wrote this knows exactly what he or she means but it is very confusing to a reader. Here is the final, edited version: “Hey,” cried the policeman. ”Where are you going so late at night?” “Home,” answered the young man, startled by the policeman’s glaring torch. “Well why are you standing here?” “Because the fog is so thick that I can’t see the river. I don’t want to fall in.” 1. On the lines below write down the important information that has been left out of the first version. (The first one has been done for you.) •

We were not told that it is night time. ____________________________________________________________________________

•

____________________________________________________________________________

•

____________________________________________________________________________

•

____________________________________________________________________________

•

____________________________________________________________________________

2. Read the passage below, then rewrite it so that it makes sense. Suddenly it comes to a stop and I am thrown over its head. I land in a pile of mud. “What happened?” she says. “It stopped suddenly,” I reply. “And I couldn’t hold on.” “Well get up silly boy. Before it runs away.”

_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________

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_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 34

TEACHERS’ NOTES

Audience in Narratives 2

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. 1. Before the children start working on the activity, read the passage aloud to the class, without the markers being included. They will notice that it reads reasonably well but that the sequence of events is a little disjointed. When the exercise is finished read both versions aloud, first without the markers and then with them. Here is a possible answer to the activity using the markers provided: One summer holiday two children named Jodie and Harry decided to visit their auntie’s house. When they arrived no-one was at home so they went around to the back door and found a way into the house by using the key that Auntie Jane always left under a flower pot. Inside the house everything was dark. The curtains were drawn and the lights were all turned off. Harry was groping around the walls, searching for a switch, when all of a sudden he heard a low moaning sound. “What was that?” said Jodie. “I don’t know,” Harry replied. “I think this place must be haunted.” Without waiting another second Jodie and Harry ran out of the house. They sat on the lawn and waited. Two hours later Auntie Jane came home . When the children told her what had happened she laughed. “Don’t worry. I have a new puppy and I locked her in the spare room. Would you like to see her?” Extension Activities 1. Tell the students that to make sure a reader can follow their writing, they must use the same tense throughout their entire story. Changing tenses will confuse a reader. 2. Point out to the students that the narrative on the activity page is written in the past tense. This tells the reader that the action has already happened. This is because the verbs are all in the past tense: decided to they went found a way she said Tell the children that the story could be changed to the present tense, by changing the verbs listed above to: decide to they go find a way she says 3. Read the passage aloud after the changes have been made and discuss the differences between past and present tense. Note: Markers of NAPLAN* writing will consider it to be a Cohesion error if children change the tense over the course of their narrative or essay and an error in Sentence Structure if they change the tense within a sentence. It is vital that a piece of writing remains in either the past or present tense throughout. 4. Ask the children to give you the past tense for the following present tense verbs: buy (bought)

bite (bit)

choose (chose)

catch (caught)

bleed (bled)

come (came)

fall (fell)

creep (crept)

dig (dug)

drink (drank)

grow (grew)

give (gave )

eat (ate)

fly (flew)

drive (drove)

know (knew)

lose (lost)

pay (paid)

lend (lent)

dream (dreamt)

Go to www.readyed.net * The publisher is not an endorsed creator of materials used for annual NAPLAN* testing, and this book has been produced without consulting any Australian government bodies.

Audience in Narratives 2

ACTIVITY 16

When writing stories it is important to provide markers that put the events in order. The reader needs to know when the events in a story take place. Below are some examples of simple markers that should appear regularly in your stories.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. Long, long ago … Early the next morning … Without stopping to think …

Some time later … The next summer … When the rain had eased …

The story below is fairly easy to follow, even without filling in the spaces. Try to think of some markers to put into the spaces or use the ones at the bottom of this page. Read it again. You will find that it sounds much more complete with the markers.

____________________________ two children named Jodie and Harry decided to visit their auntie’s house. ____________________________ no-one was at home so they went around to the back door and found a way into the house by using the key that Auntie Jane always left under a flower pot. ________________________ everything was dark. The curtains were drawn and the lights were all turned off. Harry was groping around the walls, searching for a switch when _________________________ he heard a low moaning sound. “What was that?” said Jodie. “I don’t know,” _________________________ . “I think this place must be haunted.” ________________________________________. Jodie and Harry ran out of the house. They sat on the lawn and waited. ____________________________ Auntie Jane came home. _________________ __________________________________________________________________ , “Don’t worry. I have a new puppy and I locked her in the spare room. Would you like to see her?”

• • • • • 36

All of a sudden ... Harry replied ... Two hours later ... One summer holiday ... Without waiting another second ...

• • •

When they arrived ... Inside the house ... When the children told her what had happened she laughed ...

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TEACHERS’ NOTES

Audience in Narratives 3

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. 1. After students have read the two passages they should be able to identify that Adam’s writing addresses the audience’s needs better than Jeremy’s writing. Possible reasons they may give are: •

It appeals to the reader’s emotions. Adam describes both his own and Ryan’s fear: i.

… by describing the physical signs of fear: knees shaking…knuckles were white as he tightly gripped the steel spikes…trembling voice…arms had turned to jelly…stomach churned inside me. I wanted to vomit.

ii. … by questioning the decision to make the climb: Why did I ever agree to do this? iii. … by emphasising the fear very effectively by placing deliberate pauses between short words or syllables: Don’t – look – down… con-cen-trate. iv. … by describing the view below by using similes: Car below like tiny matchboxes… people, like ants on the path. v. … by using dialogue to bring the characters to life. vi. … by using powerful verbs and adverbs: painfully, tightly, whimpering, trembling, nervously, haul, frozen, churned, vomit. 2. Reasons that they may give for Jeremy’s writing being less appealing to the audience are: • He simply describes the events with little effort to appeal to emotions. He makes one fairly ineffective attempt, real scary. • He uses a vocal register instead of a written one: packin death …coz…ginormous, ... pretty easy. Colloquial words and phrases should only be used in writing if they are part of a character’s dialogue. For example in Adam’s writing, when the teenager says, “Get a move on kid.”, or “You’ll be okay,” the use of the vocal register (slang) is valid because it tells the reader how the character speaks. 3. You can point out to the students, though, that Jeremy’s work has accurate spelling, good punctuation and good sentence structure. He has written some good compound and complex sentences. Adam however uses a good mix of simple, compound and complex sentences. His short simple sentences have impact and are very effective: “Ryan went in front of me…That’s it…That’s good…Hold tight…Don’t look down”.

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Audience in Narratives 3

ACTIVITY 20

Two children in a Year Six class were given the task of writing a story about climbing the Gloucester Tree in the south of Western Australia, near the timber town of Pemberton. Read the beginnings of their stories below.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. Climbing the Gloucester Tree - by Adam

I could see Ryan’s knees shaking above me as we moved painfully upwards. His knuckles were white as he tightly gripped the steel spikes of the spiralling ladder. I could hear him whimpering in a trembling voice. “Oh hell! Don’t look down. Whatever you do, don’t – look – down. Move one hand first. That’s it. Now the other one. That’s good. Don’t slip off. Hold tight. Con-cen-trate. Oh why did I ever agree to do this?” Then I saw that the spike above me was bent downwards and it would be impossible to stand on it, I wondered how Ryan had got past it. He’s tall but I’m short. I knew instantly that I wouldn’t be able to step over it and that I would have to try to haul myself past it, with all my weight on my arms. But my arms had turned to jelly. I was frozen with fear. I couldn’t move. Then, like an idiot, I did the unthinkable. I looked down. I saw all the cars below, like tiny matchboxes. And the people, like ants on the path. My stomach churned inside me. I wanted to vomit. “Get a move on kid,” said the angry teenager below me. “I can’t,” I groaned. “There’s a bent spike and I can’t reach over it.” “You’ll be okay,” he said.

Climbing the Gloucester Tree - by Jeremy The Gloucester Tree was very tall but we agreed to climb to the top. There was Adam, Ryan and me. Ryan and Adam went first and I went last, behind some boys and three girls from the High School. It was real scary and I was packin death coz the tree was ginormous. When we got to the top we stood on the platform and looked out over the forest. It was pretty easy going down but you still had to be careful.

Compare the two pieces of writing and discuss which of them shows a greater awareness of audience. In your opinion who would get a better mark for Audience, Adam or Jeremy? _______________ Give three reasons for your answer. i.

____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

ii. ____________________________________________________________________

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____________________________________________________________________ iii. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 38

TEACHERS’ NOTES

Audience in Persuasive Essays 1 and 2

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. 1. Below are suggested answers to the first seven sentences on page 40. i. ii. iii. iv. v. vi. vii.

It doesn’t make sense to force children to wear their hats on the oval. The police will charge you if you ride your bike without a crash helmet. The old man who lives next door kept my cricket ball when I hit it over the fence. The criminal was spotted by the police when they searched for him in a helicopter. My father says that people who throw rocks onto the roof should be locked up. That thin girl is my friend’s sister. My parents will be angry if I go away without doing my chores first.

2. Tell students that care must be taken with the rewrite of Ashley’s story to preserve its tone as much as possible, for he writes with a certain amount of humour and character. To assist with the assessment of students’ responses it is recommended that only the words or phrases that are underlined below need to be corrected. You might like to get the children to underline these words before they commence the exercise. Suggested corrections for the activity on page 41 are in parenthesis. I reckon (think) that bloke (omit) Robert Frost was spot on (right/correct) when he said, “Good fences make good neighbours.” A good fence sure (certainly) would make things easier at our place. That’s because our neighbours are the grumpiest, meanest folks (people) on the planet. In our backyard we have a low, wire netting see-through fence and man does it cause (that causes big) problems. You see our dog Buster can jump over it easy (easily)from a standing position! That’s how low it is. Buster leaps over it all the time to chase the neighbour’s cat. He sure (omit) goes loopy (stupid) when he sees that cat. Mr. Fossil, its owner, comes out yelling and screaming and cussing (swearing). He calls Buster a mongrel and chucks (throws) rocks at him. Then my old man loses it (Dad gets angry) and tells him to chill out (calm down). Then he climbs the fence and grabs Buster by the scruff of the neck. Mr. Fossil threatens to call the cops (police) if our mutt (dog) ever goes into his yard again. I tell ya mate (you), it’s a real war zone at our place, a crazy circus. All because my folks (parents) are too stingy (mean) to build a decent (good) back fence. 3. Suggested corrections for question 3 on page 41: i. ii. iii. iv. v. vi. vii. viii. ix.

Lost his block. – Lost his temper. Walkin me dog. – Walking my dog. Aint comin til Mondy – Isn’t coming until Monday. Youse guys quit messin bout. – You people stop messing about. I spose ya could be right. – I suppose you could be right. Wanna chuck the ball to me? – Do you want to throw the ball to me? Wadda ya know bout it? – What do you know about it? Wotsa matter? – What is the matter? The kids are goin over her place. – The children are going to her place.

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Note that the above colloquialisms (spoken register) can be used in writing if they are a part of a character’s dialogue, since they reveal to the reader how a character would actually speak. There is, however, rarely a place for dialogue in a persuasive essay.

Audience in Persuasive Essays 1

ACTIVITY 18

The language that you use in a persuasive essay needs to be quite formal. That is to say there must be a distance between the writer and the reader. The writer cannot use slang, be familiar (over-friendly), or swear. You must use a written register and not a spoken register. Look at the examples below.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. Spoken register: Written register:

Gee mate, I thought I was gonna fall flat on me kisser. I thought I was going to fall on my face.

Spoken register: I reckon it’s wrong to stop kids riding skateboards at school. Written register: I believe that children should be allowed to ride skateboards at school. Rewrite each of the sentences below so that they are in the written register. i.

It’s crazy to make kids wear a hat on the oval. ___________________________________________________________________

ii. You’ll get busted by the cops if you ride your bike without a crash helmet. ___________________________________________________________________ iii. The old bloke who lives next door kept my cricket ball when I slogged it over the fence. ___________________________________________________________________ iv. The crook was spotted by the cops when they searched for him in a chopper. ___________________________________________________________________ v. My old man says that people what chuck rocks on the roof oughta be locked up. ___________________________________________________________________ vi. That skinny chic is my mate’s sister. ___________________________________________________________________ vii. My folks will lose it if I shoot through without doin me chores first ___________________________________________________________________ 2. A class was asked to write a persuasive essay responding to the statement, “Good fences make good neighbours.” (The statement is a line from a poem by the American poet, Robert Frost.) A boy named Ashley wrote an essay agreeing with the statement. Read the opening two paragraphs of his essay on the next page. You will see that while most aspects of his writing are quite good, Ashley would get poor marks for Audience because he tends to use a spoken register. Your task is to rewrite the paragraphs using the written register on the back of this sheet or on a separate sheet of paper.

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Audience in Persuasive Essays 2

ACTIVITY 19

A Persuasive Essay - by Ashley

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. I reckon that bloke Robert Frost was spot on when he said, “Good fences make good neighbours”. A good fence sure would make things easier at our place. That’s because our neighbours are the grumpiest, meanest folks on the planet. In our backyard we have a low, wire-netting, see-through fence and man does it cause problems. You see our dog Buster can jump over it easy - from a standing position! That’s how low it is. Buster leaps over it all the time to chase the neighbour’s cat. He sure goes loopy when he sees that cat. Mr. Fossil, its owner, comes out yelling and screaming and cussing. He calls Buster a mongrel and chucks rocks at him. Then my old man loses it and tells him to chill out. He climbs the fence and grabs Buster by the scruff of the neck. Mr. Fossil threatens to call the cops if our mutt ever goes into his yard again. I tell ya mate, it’s a real war zone at our place, a crazy circus. All because my folks are too stingy to build a decent back fence.

2. When you have rewritten the above paragraphs, you might like to finish the essay yourself by adding one or two more paragraphs of your own. Some suggested paragraph topics are: • Balls from your games go over the fence all the time. Mr. Fossil won’t give them back. • Mr. Fossil spies on you through the curtains. He interferes with your games. • The neighbours complain about the noise that you make when you are playing. • The problem would be solved if your parents were to build a high, thick lime stone wall. Then you would have a good fence and a good neighbour. 3. Write written register interpretations for the spoken register expressions below. i. Lost his block. ______________________________________________________ ii. Walkin me dog. _____________________________________________________ iii. Aint comin til Mondy. _______________________________________________ iv. Youse guys quit messin bout. _________________________________________ v. I spose ya could be right. _____________________________________________ vi. Wanna chuck the ball to me? _________________________________________

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vii. Wadda ya know bout it? _____________________________________________ viii. Wotsa matter wif her? ______________________________________________ ix. The kids are goin over her place. _______________________________________ 41

TEACHERS’ NOTES

Ideas in Narratives 1 and 2

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. Note: Activities 20 and 21 should to be studied together.

1. When students are completing Activity 20, their aim is to ensure… •

… that the ideas are relevant to the story line. If not, they should be omitted;

•

… that the ideas are elaborated so that the meaning is clear to the reader.

2. Distribute Activity 20 and have each example read out aloud to the class. Below are some typical comments that a teacher might make in regards to each extract. Comments On Extract 1: •

The writer is telling the reader about a minor car crash. No-one is hurt but the car won’t start. It is clear and well-written.

•

We know that the writer is a child because he/she mentions his/her father calling a friend named Peter for assistance.

•

The sentence, A man came out from behind the bushes is strange. We know nothing about this man. We don’t know what he did or said. The idea of the man in the bushes has nothing to do with the story. There are two ways that we could fix this problem. We could either remove the idea or we could explain who the man is and tell the reader what he did or said. Later, when comparing this same passage in Activity 21, it will be seen that the idea has been removed.

Comments On Extract 2: •

The sentence, Barnaby had a brand new bike has nothing to do with the story. The writer had an idea about a bike and then forgot to explain it. It should be left out.

•

It is not clear what line Barnaby follows. The writer knows what it is but doesn’t tell us. This is a mistake. The reader has to be told clearly what the line is. Discuss what it could possibly mean with the class. You will get a range of explanations, most of which could be valid.

•

Later compare and discuss the changes made to this extract in Activity 21. Aim to ensure that the children understand that this version is better because an irrelevant idea has been removed and the meaning is now made clear.

Comments On Extract 3: •

In this short story about a polite girl called Ashley and a bully called Brutus, the name Brutus has been well-chosen as it is similar to the word brute.

•

It is not clear who says, “Watch where you’re going freckle face”. The writer doesn’t tell us. We assume that the words are spoken by Brutus but they might not have been. In fact the writer doesn’t name the speaker in any of the dialogue. This is a mistake.

•

The reader is left wondering what the challenge is. The writer knows but doesn’t tell us. This is another mistake.

•

Go to www.readyed.net It is not clear what the last sentence has got to do with the story. This idea needs to be explained or left out.

TEACHERS’ NOTES

Ideas in Narratives 1 and 2

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. •

Later compare and discuss the changes made in Activity 21 and discuss how the passage is now much better. Ask your students, What point is made by telling us the name of the book that Ashley read?

Comments On Extract 4: •

The writer has a sister who made a mess in the car but at the beginning we don’t know the sister’s name. We can probably work out that the sister’s name is Janey but we should have been told this straight away.

•

It is not clear what the words, I didn’t do anything, mean. Does it mean that the writer didn’t make any mess? Or does it mean that the writer didn’t do anything to help clean it up? The writer knows but doesn’t tell us. We have to know what it means.

•

The last sentence has nothing to do with the story. It shouldn’t be there.

•

Later, discuss the improvements made in Activity 21. Notice the use of exclamation marks.

Extension Activity When we write a story we are completely in charge. We can get rid of ideas or include new ones. We can invent names that could be real, or funny, or scary. In Extract 3 the bully is called Brutus because he is a brute. He is rude to Ashley and calls her freckle face. Below are some made-up names of characters. Discuss with your class what sort of people they would be. Sir Toby Belch

Mrs. Foghorn

Dr. Basher

Mr. Wimpy

Miss Pansy

Ima Twitt

Jenny Bigmouth

Mrs. Proudie

Mr. Shybones

Dotty Dreamboat

This exercise could be turned into a written exercise. Ask the children to select one of the above names, or make up one of their own and write a brief description of the character. They can have fun but the character must not be a real person. All the ideas have to be relevant and the reader must be given all information.

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Ideas in Narratives 1

ACTIVITY 20

There are two important things to remember about the ideas that you put into a story:

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. They must be fully explained so that the reader can understand them. They must have something to do with the story.

Read the samples of writing by students in Year Three below. Some of the ideas in these pieces of writing aren’t explained or don’t belong. In each extract highlight or underline the ideas that are not clear or could be removed. EXTRACT 1

Suddenly the car crashed into a wall. We were not hurt but the car wouldn’t start. A man came out from behind the bushes. Dad called his friend Peter on the phone. “Hey Pete,” he said. “Guess what! I’ve pranged the car and now it won’t start. Can you drive out and tow us home?” “Sure,” said Pete. “I’ll be there in half an hour.”

EXTRACT 2

One day there was a boy named Barnaby. He lived with his mother and father and his dog named Tiger. They all lived in a little wooden house. One day Barnaby found apples and other fruit all chewed up on the back lawn. Barnaby had a brand new bike. He followed the line. It led him upstairs, then downstairs and then outside. “Tiger,” he said. “What have you done?”

EXTRACT 3

Once upon a time a girl named Ashley was walking down the street. She bumped into a boy named Brutus, the school bully. ”Watch where you’re going freckle face.” “Sorry. I was just walking and didn’t see you.” “I challenge you and the messiest one has to sweep the floor.” “Okay.” Brutus was the messiest and he had to sweep the floor. “Ha ha,” said Ashley. That night she read a book.

EXTRACT 4

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What a mess my sister made in the car. I didn’t do anything. I could go and play with Sally. She had to clean up the car and clean her room and wash the dishes. Poor Janey. That will teach her to make a mess. My dog’s name is Fido.

Ideas in Narratives 2

ACTIVITY 21

The students who wrote the stories on page 44 edited them and made them easier for the reader to understand. They removed the ideas that didn’t belong and included missing information. Read the students edited versions below, then jot down underneath each one why it is better.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. EXTRACT 1

Suddenly the car crashed into a wall. We were not hurt but the car wouldn’t start. Dad called his friend Peter on the phone. “Hey Pete,” he said. “Guess what! I’ve pranged the car and now it won’t start. Can you drive out and tow us home?” “Sure,” said Peter. “I’ll be there in half an hour.”

EXTRACT 2

Once there was a boy named Barnaby. He lived with his mother and father and his dog named Tiger. They all lived in a little wooden house. One day Barnaby found apples and other fruit all chewed up on the back lawn. He also saw the dog’s dirty footprints going up the stairs to the fruit bowl and then going back down again. “Tiger,” said Barnaby. “What have you done?”

EXTRACT 3

Once upon a time a girl named Ashley was walking down the street. She bumped into a boy named Brutus, who was the school bully. ”Watch where you’re going freckle face,” Brutus said nastily. “I’m sorry,” Ashley replied, “I was just walking and I didn’t see you.” “ I challenge you,” said Brutus, ”to eat a big bowl of custard. The one with the messiest face has to sweep the classroom floor.” “Okay,” answered Ashley. Brutus was the messiest and he had to sweep the floor. “Ha ha,” said Ashley. That night Ashley read a book called, How to Deal With Bullies.

EXTRACT 4

What a mess my sister Janey made in the car! I hadn’t made any mess at all, so I could go and play with Sally. Poor Janey had to clean up the car, clean her room and wash the dishes. That will teach her to make a mess.

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TEACHERS’ NOTES

Ideas in Narratives 3

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. 1. As students are reading the passage they may notice the following: • We don’t know who the narrator is. We can work out that it’s a boy and we don’t really need to know his name but we should have been told his age; • We don’t know who James is; • We don’t know who Julie is; • We do know that there are only three children in the story so the information about Julie’s friend Sarah is not needed. She plays no part in the story and should be eliminated; • It is not clear who says, “There might be…” Ask your students to discuss the evidence and work it out. Emphasise that the reader should never have to work out that information. The story should tell him/her; • It is not clear who says, “Yes. Or a chest …”; • The Gilt Dragon is the name of a Dutch Sailing ship that was wrecked off the Western Australian coast in 1656.* We have to give it capital letters to indicate that it is a ship’s name; • We are unsure who was right, James or his Dad. * The town of Guilderton, on the mouth of the Moore River, is so named because of the many guilders (Dutch gold coins) that washed ashore on the beaches near the wreck site. A mystery surrounds the survivors. The children might like to do some research on this subject. 2. Below is a corrected version of the story. Different responses however, could be valid and should be assessed individually. The bottom of the dinghy crunched onto the pebbly seabed. We had reached the island. The weather was very calm that day and my Dad had said I could take my best friend James over the narrow bay to Favourite Island. For a ten-year-old boy I was very good with boats. We were going to look for treasure. There was only one problem. I had to take my twin sister Julie with us. “There won’t be buried treasure here,” she sneered as we pulled the dinghy clear of the water. “”We don’t have pirates any more. Everyone knows that.” “There might be treasure,” James said. “It could have been buried a hundred years ago.” I agreed with James. “Yes,” I said. “Or a chest from the Gilt Dragon might have washed ashore”. We searched the island for two hours and all we found was a funny looking tame mouse that sniffed around our lunch box. James closed the lid and trapped it.” My Dad’s a zoologist,” he said. “He might be interested in this little fella.”

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James was right. His dad told us that it wasn’t a mouse at all. “It’s a dibbler,” his Dad said. “They are an endangered species. We didn’t know that there were some on Favourite Island. You guys certainly found a treasure today.” 46

Ideas in Narratives 3

ACTIVITY 22

Read the story below written by a student in Year Seven. As you read:  Look carefully at its ideas and draw a ring around those that don’t belong;

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview.  Underline any sections where you think the meaning is not clear;

 Rewrite the story on a separate piece of paper or on the back of this sheet fixing up its flaws.

The bottom of the dinghy crunched onto the pebbly seabed. We had reached the island. The weather was very calm that day and my Dad had said I could take James over the narrow bay to Favourite Island to look for treasure. I was very good with boats. There was only one problem. I had to take Julie with us. Her best friend was Sarah. She had red hair and freckles. “There won’t be buried treasure here,” she sneered as we pulled the dinghy clear of the water. ”We don’t have pirates any more. Everyone knows that.” “There might be. It could have been buried a hundred years ago.” “Yes. Or a chest might have washed ashore off the gilt dragon.” The three of us searched the island for two hours and all we found was a funny looking tame mouse that sniffed around our lunch box. James closed the lid and trapped it. “My Dad’s a zoologist,” James said. “He might be interested in this little fella.” He was right. It wasn’t a mouse. It was a dibbler. “Dibblers are an endangered species,” his Dad said. “We didn’t know that they were on Favourite Island. You guys certainly found a treasure today.” 1. Find each word listed below in the story and write another word that could have been used. Your new words shouldn’t change the meaning of the sentences. crunched _____________________

pebbly

______________________

sneered

_____________________

pulled

______________________

washed

_____________________

tame

______________________

sniffed

_____________________

trapped

______________________

certainly

_____________________

guys

______________________

2. Six of the above words are verbs. Put a ring around them. Check that six of the words that you have written are also verbs.

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3. Was James’ Dad right when he said that the three children had found a treasure? Answer yes or no and explain the reasons for your answer. ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ 47

TEACHERS’ NOTES

Ideas in Persuasive Essays

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. 1. The aim of this activity is to teach the students the difference between a sweeping (wild) assertion and a reasoned argument. An assertion is a declaration or statement of opinion that is not supported by evidence, or logical reason. The use of assertion will raise questions in the mind of the intelligent reader and will weaken the writer’s ability to persuade. Here are some suggested re-writes of the statements in exercise 1: • Research has shown that eating too many sugary foods, like chocolate cake, can harm your teeth. (The statement is supported by evidence and says can harm not will harm.) • Some people believe that watching too much television can be harmful to the eyes. (Removes the unreasonable claim of square eyes and says some people believe instead of stating that it is an established and proven fact.) • It has been proven that eyesight weakens with age and so older people should have their eyes tested regularly if they wish to drive a vehicle. (Supported by evidence and uses the milder modality should.) • There is no evidence to support the claim that women have poorer peripheral vision than men. 2. Here are the correct responses to the statements in exercise 2: i. Some animals should be kept in cages. X ii. Homework should not be allowed. X iii. Many cheap toys are a waste of money because they are easily broken. √ iv. Kids must have fun now because they won’t have fun when they’re grown up. √ v. Teachers who set homework have no idea what it’s like to be a child. X vi. More than half of the teenagers in Australia are on the dole. X vii. Outdoor sports are good for you because you are breathing fresh air and getting lots of healthy exercise. √ viii. Mobile phones are responsible for many deaths. X ix. Some pets, like budgies or canaries, need to be kept in cages to protect them from predators like cats and hawks. √ x. Television advertisements make children want things that they don’t really need. X xi. Children need to learn how to socialise and so it is important that they have time to play games with their friends. √ xii. Most parents buy toys for their kids so that they won’t chuck saddies in public. √ Statements that offer no reasons for the stated opinions are numbers 1, 2, 5, 6, 8 and 10. Reasonable arguments are presented in numbers 3, 7, 9 and 11. The use of the words because and so that in statements 4 and 12 indicate that the writer has tried to give a reason for the opinions stated in the main clauses of their sentences. However the reasons stated are wild assertions. Statement 4 asserts that adults never have fun and statement 12 claims that most parents buy toys for their children simply to avoid public tantrums.

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Note the use of vernacular (spoken register) in number 12. Encourage the children to rewrite this statement in formal language. Identify chuck and saddies as slang expressions and replace these two words. It is also important that the ideas (arguments) in a persuasive essay are relevant to the topic statement (the prompt) and are also related to each other. 48

Ideas in Persuasive Essays

ACTIVITY 23

The ideas that you use to argue your case in a persuasive essay must be explained to the reader. You need to give reasons for your opinions. This is called elaborating. Essays will get low marks for ideas that do not elaborate. Also, your ideas must be reasonable. You cannot make wild assertions. Read the wild assertions below.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. Your teeth will go rotten if you eat that chocolate cake.

Watching too much television can give you square eyes. People over the age of fifty are too old to drive because their eyesight is poor. Women are poorer drivers than men because they don’t have good peripheral vision. 1. Re-write the sentences above so that they are reasonable and do not make wild assertions. The first one has been done for you. It has been proven that eating too many sugary foods, like chocolate cake, can harm your teeth. • ___________________________________________________________________

• ___________________________________________________________________ • ___________________________________________________________________ • ___________________________________________________________________ 2. Read the sentences below. Put a tick next to the ideas that the writer has tried to elaborate. Put a cross next to those that the writer has made no attempt to elaborate. Some animals should be kept in cages. Homework should not be allowed. Many cheap toys are a waste of money because they are easily broken. Kids must have fun because they won’t have fun when they’re grown up. Teachers who set homework have no idea what it’s like to be a child. More than half of the teenagers in Australia are on the dole. Outdoor sports are good for you because you are breathing fresh air and getting lots of healthy exercise. Mobile phones are responsible for many deaths. Some pets, like budgies or canaries, need to be kept in cages to protect them from predators like cats and hawks. Television advertisements make children want things that they don’t really need.

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Children need to learn how to socialise and so it is important that they have time to play games with their friends. Most parents buy toys for their kids so they won’t chuck saddies in public.

3. Put a circle around the tick if you think the argument is a wild assertion. 49

TEACHERS’ NOTES

Punctuation 1

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. 1. Activity 24 concentrates on using capitals at the beginning of sentences, and full stops at the end of them. In each case the children are told how many sentences there are. Draw their attention to this. If there are five sentences then they must have five capital letters and five full stops.

2. Also draw the children’s attention to the fact that when we speak or read aloud we tend to take a slight pause at the end of each sentence. 3. Commence the activity by telling the children to put a capital at the beginning of the first sentence. Then select a student to read the passage aloud to the class. Instruct the children to listen closely and to raise their hands when they hear the reader pause at the end of the first sentence. 4. Stop the reader. Read it again. Agree that it is a complete sentence. Add in a full stop, and then add a capital at the start of the next sentence. 5. Proceed until you have the correct number of sentences. 6. Have the children complete the remaining exercises on their own or with a partner. 7. There are three other words that have a capital letter, even though they are not at the start of a sentence (Peter, Megan and Martian). Discuss with the children why this is so. Explain the difference between proper and common nouns (A Martian lives on Mars. An Australian lives in Australia – etc.). 8. Discuss wasn’t for was not and It’s huge for It is huge and also He’s a Martian for He is a Martian. Tell them that the apostrophe indicates that a letter has been left out or omitted. Discuss other common examples and write them on the white board (didn’t, haven’t, they’re, etc.). Stress that we DO NOT use apostrophes for plurals. This is a common error that many people make. Eg, In Both her legs were broken, the word legs is simply a plural. There is no omission and there should be no apostrophe. 9. Tell the students that there are two examples of apostrophes for ownership (or possession): People’s umbrellas and girl’s name. Discuss other common, every day examples of these and write them on the white board. Answers i. Karl: One night my brother Peter was lying down in bed. He fell asleep. When he woke up he wasn’t in his room any more. He was in a dark cupboard. ii. Julie: The storm was like an angry monster. The rain fell like big grapes, all coming down very fast. The people’s umbrellas were flying in the wind. iii. Annabel: Today was the most exciting day of my life. I was called to the deep gorge to rescue a girl who had fallen off the cliff. My rescue team was fully equipped for the mission. When we got there we learnt that the girl’s name was Megan. She had broken both of her legs but she was still breathing.

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iv. Kevin: Zerg is the new kid at my school. He’s a Martian. He even has his own spaceship parked on the oval. It’s huge. You should see it.

Punctuation 1

ACTIVITY 24

Some Year Three students have handed in the pieces of writing below to be marked. You need to take on the role of the teacher and put in all the missing capital letters and full stops with a coloured pencil.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. i. one night my brother Peter was lying down in bed he fell asleep when he woke up he wasn’t in his room any more he was in a dark cupboard By Karl Clue: There are four sentences.

ii.

the storm was like an angry monster the rain fell like big grapes, all coming down very fast the people’s umbrellas were flying in the wind By Julie Clue: There are three sentences.

iii.

today was the most exciting day of my life I was called to the deep gorge to rescue a girl who had fallen off the cliff my rescue team was fully equipped for the mission when we got there we learnt that the girl’s name was Megan she had broken both of her legs but she was still breathing By Annabelle Clue: There are five sentences.

iv.

zerg is the new kid at my school he’s a Martian he even has his own spaceship parked on the oval it’s huge you should see it By Kevin

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Clue: There are five sentences. One of them only has two words in it and another has only three.

TEACHERS’ NOTES

Punctuation 2

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. The procedures are the same as for Activity 24, except that there are now missing capitals for proper nouns and apostrophes to be found. Answers

1. Karl: Peter looked around for a door handle but he couldn’t find one. There was just a nail sticking out. It hurt his finger. Then he heard his brother Tim wake up. Peter banged on the door and Tim let him out. 2. Julie: The wind was furious. It was howling like a ghost. The trees were waving around. It was a stormy Saturday and I couldn’t go out to play. 3. Annabel: I climbed down to Megan and put her on the stretcher. She cried with pain as the ropes pulled her slowly to the top. Megan’s mother was crying but she was glad that her daughter was safe. 4. Kevin: Zerg invited me to his spaceship. It was so cool. Zerg’s computer had ten thousand gigs and face recognition. It could talk to him and answer questions. I wasn’t one bit scared of Zerg’s dad. He had three eyes and worms for hair.

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Punctuation 2

ACTIVITY 25

Some Year Three students have handed in the pieces of writing below to be marked by you. Put in all the missing capital letters, full stops and apostrophes with a coloured pencil.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. i peter looked around for a door handle but he couldnt find one there was

just a nail sticking out it hurt his finger then he heard his brother tim wake up peter banged on the door and tim let him out By Karl Clue: There are five sentences, one other capital letter and one apostrophe to find.

the wind was furious it was howling like a ghost the trees were waving around it was a stormy saturday and i couldnt go out to play By Julie Clue: There are four sentences, two other capital letters and one apostrophe to find.

iii

i climbed down to megan and put her on the stretcher she cried with pain as the ropes pulled her slowly to the top megans mother was crying but she was glad that her daughter was safe By Annabel Clue: There are three sentences, one other capital letter and one apostrophe to find.

zerg invited me to his spaceship it was so cool zergs computer had ten thousand gigs and face recognition it could talk to him and answer questions i wasnt one bit scared of zergs dad he had three eyes and worms

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Clue: There are six sentences, one other capital letter and three apostrophes to

find.

TEACHERS’ NOTES

Punctuation 3

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. Activity 26a

Answer to question 1: Young Suzie climbed up on to the chair. She picked up her knife and fork and said, “Let’s eat, Grandpa.” Answer to question 2: My father is interested in cooking, dogs and famous soldiers.

Activity 26b Answer to question 1: I fell asleep at the wheel. After driving for forty years it was my first accident. Answer to question 2(i): The simile is: as sturdy as a rock. Answer to question 2(ii): Words that indicate the dinghy was well built are: sturdy

strong

reliable.

Answer to question 2(iii): The literary device used is personification.

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Punctuation 3

ACTIVITY 26a

When full stops and capital letters are missing, the meaning can often be hidden from the reader. In the sentence below a writer has left out some full stops and capital letters.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. I prefer ice cream when it’s melted I don’t like it with jelly it’s yukky

Maybe the writer meant to say:

I prefer ice cream when it’s melted. I don’t like it with jelly. It’s yukky. Or: I prefer ice cream. When it’s melted I don’t like it. With jelly it’s yukky. Here is another example of poor punctuation confusing the meaning. Uncle Tom fed his green budgie to the old mother cat he gave a smile as she licked her lips. Maybe the writer meant to say: Uncle Tom fed his green budgie. To the old mother cat he gave a smile as she licked her lips. Or: Uncle Tom fed his green budgie to the old mother cat. He gave a smile as she licked her lips. 1. Can you see where an important comma has been left out of the sentence below? Write in the missing comma and say how it changes the meaning. Young Suzie climbed up on to the chair. She picked up her knife and fork and said, “Let’s eat Grandpa.” ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 2. There is a comma missing from the sentence below. Write it in and say how it affects the meaning. My father is interested in cooking dogs and famous soldiers.

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____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 55

Punctuation 3

ACTIVITY 26b

1. The person who wrote the sentence below, left out a full stop and a capital letter. There is only one sentence when there should be two. Can you write in the missing full stop and capital letter? Say how the meaning is changed if you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t put them in the correct places.

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. I fell asleep at the wheel after driving for forty years it was my first accident.

____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 2. In the passage below the writer deliberately misleads the reader and gives a surprise at the end. Lady Fifi has been my true and trusty friend for many years. I take her out three times a week, even if the weather is stormy. Usually we go alone but sometimes one or two friends come with us. Every week we have hours and hours of fun together but I never spend any money on her. Although she is twenty years older than I, she is as sturdy as a rock. Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s strong and reliable, with no sign of aging. Lady Fifi is the best dinghy a man could wish for. i. Draw a circle around the simile. ii. Which three words in the passage indicate that the dinghy was well built?

iii. What literary device has the writer used when discussing his dinghy?

3. Try to write a paragraph that has a twist at the end. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

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____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 56

Narrative Marking Sheet

Total score out of 48: _____ x 2.09 = _________ %

Student Name:

Assignment Topic:

Audience

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. Symbols, drawings or some minimal / simple written content.

Shows awareness of basic audience expectations. Some basic markers but has gaps that the reader has to 2 fill in.

Text

No evidence of any structural components.

An internally consistent story that is easy to follow.

Minimal structure. A recount with no complication.

Ideas

0 Ideas are few, simple and unrelated.

1 Ideas are few, not elaborated or very predictable.

No evidence of any characters or setting.

Symbols or drawings only.

Very short script with most links missing or incorrect. Often confusing for the reader.

Punctuation

Spelling

No use of paragraphing.

No evidence of sentences.

Correct formation of at least one sentence. Some meaning can be construed. 1

At least one correct full stop OR capital letter.

Ideas show some elaboration and relate to the story line.

Ideas are substantial, elaborated and contribute to a central storyline. There is a suggestion of a 4 theme.

3 Some links are missing or incorrect. Reader is occasionally required to provide own links.

Writing is organised into paragraphs that are mainly focused on a single idea to assist reader to digest chunks 1 of text.

Most simple sentences are correct.

Most simple and compound sentences are correct AND at least two correct complex sentences.

At least two correctly punctuated sentences (full stop and capital) OR one plus something else correct (eg, comma, apostrophe etc.).

Influences the reader with sustained precise language and devices that evoke an emotional response and encourage 6 reflection.

A controlled and complete narrative with an effective ending and a reflection.

Ideas are crafted and used skilfully to explore and develop a recognisable theme.

Effective development of distinct characters - OR â&#x20AC;&#x201C; sense of place and/or atmosphere is maintained throughout.

Sustained and consistent use of precise words and phrases that enhance the meaning and sustain 4 the mood.

An effective use of a wide range of words and phrases in a natural and articulate style. 5

Cohesive devices correctly support reader understanding. Accurate use of referring words.

A wide range of cohesive devices that enhance the reading. There is continuity. Sections 4 are tightly linked.

All paragraphs focused on an idea. At least one paragraph is logically constructed with a topic sentence and supporting 2 detail.

All simple and compound sentences are correct and most complex sentences are correct but do not have a variety of structure. 4

Most sentences begin with a capital and end with a full stop AND most other punctuation is correct.

Sustained characterisation emerges through speech, thoughts or actions of characters â&#x20AC;&#x201C; OR â&#x20AC;&#x201C; sustained setting emerges through place, time or mood.

Four or more precise words or word groups.

Has a beginning, a complication and a predictable resolution.

Some brief suggestions of characterisation and/ or setting emerge but they lack 2 substance.

Mostly simple verbs, adverbs, adjectives or nouns.

Supports/engages reader through deliberate language choice and narrative devices.

Has a beginning and a complication. Resolution is absent, contrived or weak.

2 Only names or roles of characters supplied - OR - little or no description of place or time. 1

Very short script. Only three or four lines with simple everyday words.

Sentence Structure

Paragraphing

Cohesion

Vocabulary

Character and Setting

Supports and attempts to engage the reader through some use of precise language and narrative 4 devices.

Paragraphs are ordered and cumulatively build argument across the text.

3 All sentences are correct and have a variety of length and structure.

Sentence punctuation is all correct AND mostly correct use of other types.

Well-controlled and developed sentences that are concise and consistently effective. 6

All punctuation is accurate and correct. It paces and controls the reading.

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Few examples of conventional spelling.

Correct spelling of most simple and some common words.

Correct spelling of most simple AND most common words.

Correct spelling of all simple, most common and some difficult words.

Correct spelling of all simple, most common and at least ten difficult words. 5

Correct spelling of all simple, and all common words, at least ten difficult words and some challenging words. 6

Persuasive Essay Marking Sheet

Total score out of 48: _____ x 2.09 = _________ %

Student Name:

Assignment Topic:

Audience

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview. Limited response to audience. Simple written content of half a page or less.

Shows awareness of basic audience expectations. Some basic markers but has gaps that the reader has to 2 fill in.

Ideas

Text Structure

No evidence of any structural components.

An internally consistent text that attempts to support the reader.

Minimal structure (eg, one component only. An introduction or a body).

0 Text contains one idea – OR – ideas are unrelated to each other – OR – ideas are unrelated to topic.

Persuasive Devices Vocabulary Cohesion

Very short script. Only three or four lines with simple everyday words.

Punctuation Spelling 58

Uses only statements of personal opinion – OR – one or two instances of persuasive devices, (may be the same 1 type).

Uses three or more instances of persuasive devices. (Must be at least two different types.)

Uses some devices that persuade. Use is effective but not sustained.

Sustained and effective use of persuasive devices.

Four or more precise words or word groups.

2 Very short script with most links missing or incorrect. Often confusing for the reader.

Correct formation of at least one sentence. Some meaning can be construed. 1

3 Some correct links between sentences. Most referring words are accurate – OR – longer text with cohesion controlled 2 only in parts.

At least one correct full stop OR capital letter.

No use of paragraphing.

All components are complete and welldeveloped.

Ideas are generated, selected and crafted to be highly persuasive.

No evidence of sentences.

Has an introduction, body and conclusion – OR – a longer text with two developed components and one 3 weak one.

Ideas are substantial, elaborated and contribute effectively to the writer’s position.

Mostly simple verbs, adverbs, adjectives or nouns.

Symbols or drawings only.

Controls writer/reader relationship. Precise, sustained language choices and persuasive techniques. Considers reader’s 6 values.

A number of ideas that relate to the topic and are elaborated.

Sentence Structure

Paragraphing

Two clearly identifiable structural components – OR – all three components are present but weak.

Supports/engages and persuades reader through deliberate language choice and persuasive 5 techniques.

One idea with simple elaboration – OR – some related ideas that are not elaborated.

1 No evidence or insufficient evidence.

Supports and begins to engage the reader through some use of precise language and narrative devices. 4

Writing is organised into paragraphs that are mainly focused on a single idea to assist reader to digest chunks 1 of text.

Most simple sentences are correct.

At least two correctly punctuated sentences (full stop and capital) OR one plus something else correct (eg, comma, apostrophe etc.).

Controlled use of cohesive devices. Supports reader understanding.

A range of cohesive devices used correctly and deliberately to enhance reading. An extended, highly cohesive piece 4 of writing.

All simple and compound sentences are correct, and most complex sentences are correct but do not have a variety of structure. 4

Most sentences begin with a capital and end with a full stop and most other punctuation is correct.

A range of precise and effective words or phrases in a fluent and articulate manner. 5

All paragraphs focused on idea. At least one paragraph is logically constructed with a topic sentence and supporting 2 detail.

Most simple and compound sentences are correct and at least two correct complex sentences. 3

Sustained and consistent use of precise words and phrases that enhance the meaning and sustain 4 the mood.

Paragraphs are ordered and cumulatively build argument across the text.

3 All sentences are correct and have a variety of length and structure.

Sentence punctuation is all correct and mostly correct use of other types.

Well-controlled and developed sentences that are concise and consistently effective. 6

All punctuation is accurate and correct. It paces and controls the reading.

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Few examples of conventional spelling.

Correct spelling of most simple and some common words.

Correct spelling of most simple and most common words.

Correct spelling of all simple, most common and some difficult words.

Correct spelling of all simple, most common and at least ten difficult words.

Correct spelling of all simple, and all common words, at least ten difficult words and some challenging words.

Total × 2.09 = ___%

maximum 6 marks

maximum 5 marks

Punctuation

maximum 6 marks

Sentence Structure

maximum 3 marks

Paragraphing

maximum 4 marks

maximum 5 marks

Vocabulary

maximum 4 marks

Character & Setting

maximum 5 marks

maximum 4 marks

NARRATIVE

Text Structure

Class Record Sheet

maximum 6 marks

Assignment Topic:

Spelling

Cohesion

Ideas

Name of Student

Audience

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview.

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Class Averages

Class Averages × (converts to mark out of 10)

× 1.67

× 2.5

×2

× 2.5

×2

× 2.5

Categories that need revision: _______________________________________

× 3.3

× 1.67

×2

× 1.67

Total × 2.09 = ___%

maximum 6 marks

maximum 5 marks

Punctuation

maximum 6 marks

Sentence Structure

maximum 3 marks

Paragraphing

maximum 4 marks

maximum 5 marks

Vocabulary

maximum 4 marks

Persuasive Devices

maximum 5 marks

maximum 4 marks

PERSUASIVE

Text Structure

Class Record Sheet

maximum 6 marks

Assignment Topic:

Spelling

Cohesion

Ideas

Name of Student

Audience

This is a Ready-Ed Publications' book preview.

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Class Averages

Class Averages × (converts to mark out of 10)

× 1.67

× 2.5

×2

× 2.5

×2

× 2.5

Categories that need revision: _______________________________________

× 3.3

× 1.67

×2

× 1.67