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THE TIMES LEADER www.timesleader.com
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WEDNESDAY, MAY 25, 2011 PAGE 7C
Woman in love with gay man wonders if they have a future together Dear Abby: I started a relationship with a co-worker. We went out for several months, and I found myself really enjoying his company. The feeling was mutual. After several months I told him I was developing feelings for him, more than just friends. He told me he was gay. I was shocked, saddened and angry all at the same time, but we went on to develop an even stronger friendship. I have fallen in love with him, but I have had counseling and I believe those feelings are in check. We have a special bond that’s hard to explain. For lack of a better term, we have used the words “soul mate”
DEAR ABBY ADVICE to describe this feeling. He has even said he would like a lifelong commitment with me and has thought about marrying me. He said holding hands, walks on the beach and romantic things aren’t a problem for him to share with me, but he cannot offer me anything sexual. He wants to share his life with me. We aren’t kids — we’re in our 40s and 50s. He’s a wonderful man, and I do want him in my life. Is it wrong to think about a future with him? — Confused On What to Do Dear Confused: It’s not wrong to
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think about it. But while you’re thinking, consider carefully how important sex is to you. Some, not all, women would be content with what he’s offering. But what if you should meet someone? You also need to know whether this man is ready, willing and capable of forgoing a sexual relationship with a man. How would you feel about it if HE met someone? My advice is not to make a decision this important alone. Check in with your therapist and examine all of your feelings there. Also, contact the Straight Spouse Network, which was mentioned in a recent column, and talk frankly with others who are involved in mixed relationships. You’ll find it online at www. StraightSpouse.org.
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Dear Abby: I grew up thinking my mother was a good cook. Now that I’m married and have lived away from home for 10 years, I realize that Mom, with all her good intentions, was an awful cook. She was never adventurous, prefers canned and frozen foods, no vegetables and highly processed grains. I have chosen a completely opposite path and buy lots of natural, unprocessed fresh foods. As a result, I now cook all the holiday meals — with Mom helping with the prep and small tasks. I have tried to encourage her to eat better and expand her horizons, but it isn’t sinking in. Every time we have dinner at her house, I feel like I have just eaten at a fast-food establishment. I don’t want to be a control freak and say, “My way with dinners at my
house only,” but I’m struggling to find a compromise when she wants to “treat” us to dinner at her place. Suggestions? — Foodie in Colorado Dear Foodie: It’s one thing to be a “foodie” and another to be a food snob. A “fast-food” meal once every few weeks won’t kill you, so be a sport and let your mom reciprocate. And the next day, return to your normal routine to make up for it. To receive a collection of Abby’s most memorable — and most frequently requested — poems and essays, send a business-sized, selfaddressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby’s “Keepers,” P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
HOROSCOPE BY HOLIDAY MATHIS
GOREN BRIDGE WITH OMAR SHARIF & TANNAH HIRSCH PREVIOUS DAY’S SOLUTION
ARIES (March 21-April 19). The best leaders understand that leadership is a humbling position. To adopt a vision that is right for everyone in your group, you have to really listen well to the others. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You’ll be in a curious, experimental mood, and you’ll lead with your sense of fun and adventure. Because of this, you will land in a magical state of mind. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). It’s a lucky day for retail therapy because you’ll accurately estimate what you need. You’ll get a lot of use out of what you purchase today, and you’ll get the best price, too. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You never want to be a nag. That’s why you’ll search for the most enticing and imaginative way to keep someone thinking about the benefits of doing what you want them to do. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Some friends need more patience and compassion than others. Being a good pal sometimes means having to overlook thoughtless comments, especially when they were clearly not intended to harm. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You love to nurture others and witness their development. You will experience one of your favorite kind of moments today — the one where you see the lights come on because a person finally understands. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). As the sign of the scales, you balance opposing qualities in a way that makes others marvel. For
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instance, today you are simultaneously confident and modest, powerful and empowering. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). It’s easy for you to get attention when you want it. But you’re not always sure what to do with it once you have it. Get back in touch with your purpose. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You want to know what motivates people, and you also want to know how they do what they do. Your curiosity will make others feel important, and they will want to share openly with you. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Levity and mischief are in order. Refuse to be too serious, and for a while, it will seem as though you live outside the fixed rules and structures of ordinary existence. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’ve had some luck with the game you’ve been playing. Your winnings satisfied you for a time, but that time is over. Now you want to raise the stakes again to make things interesting. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You may not be in charge, but you are in the know about what’s going on with your people, and this gives you a certain influence. TODAY’S BIRTHDAY (May 25). Education is your ticket to success, and you’ll quickly learn what you need to know. June features the loving words you long to hear. You’ll attract money in July. Resist using it to establish your status. Leo and Scorpio people adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 26, 43, 9, 45 and 28.