Issue No.3 - January 11, 2012 THE WEEKLY
EXPOSER! GORDANA DATES 4000 YEAR
EXPOSING YOUR DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS!
OLD MAN WITH SUPERSUPER-POWERS!
SYLENTWHYSPER’S STEAMY GET GET--AWAY WITH ZAC EFRON!
FAMOUS GIRL-BAND MY GIRLS HAVE BROKEN UP AFTER TWO YEARS OF SUCCESS. BAND MANAGER STEPHKLINE TOLD THE EXPOSER THAT AN ARGUMENT TURNED INTO A PUNCH-UP WHEN THE GIRLS COULDN’T AGREE WHO HAD THE PRETTIEST HAIR. A PHYSICAL ALTERCATION BETWEEN THE FOUR OCCURRED LAST WEEK AT A POPULAR BRIDGEPORT CLUB. A VIRGIN RECORDS SPOKEPERSON CONFIRMED THAT THEIR MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR RECORDING CONTRACT HAD BEEN CANCELLED. STEPHKLINE IS NOW SEEKING EMPLOYMENT IN THE HOSPITALITY INDUSTRY.
LOOKIN LIKE A FOOL WITH YO’ PANTS ON THE GROUND - CHECK OUT THE DECENT EXPOSURE PHOTO SPREAD KAZEE: MY HAIR ISN’T PINK BY CHOICE, BUT A SCIENCE EXPERIMENT GONE WRONG!
MIDNIGHT BLOOD CHARACTERS IN BIZARRE LOVE TRIANGLE!
ALL THINGS SIFF - KEEP UP TO DATE ON ALL THE LATEST CHALLENGES!
FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS IN CHAZZ’S NEW SERIES BROOKLYN WHITFIELD!
NEW SEGMENT:
PICTURES OF THE WEEK!
KAZEE: WHAT DID THEY DO TO ME? Kazee may look like a rebellious teenager with those pink highlights, but she claims it’s not by choice. Two years ago the star builder/designer/
promoter was offered $5,000 to be a part of a drug trial for Landgraab Pharmaceuticals. The test involved her being injected with an untested drug, eating ginger snaps and singing “2 become 1” by the Spice Girls, all while standing on her head. Unfortunately, the trial was not successful, and some test subjects, including Kazee, received undesirable side effects. Kazee told The Exposer: “I now have permanent pink highlights and the ability to sniff farts, and immediately identify who dealt it.” Although Kazee now
SYLENT AND ZAC’S STEAMY VACATION TURNS BAD SylentWhysper has taken a break from her busy schedule to frolic in the sand with teen sensation Zac Efron. The couple thought they were alone on the beach when Sylent wanted to rub lotion on Mr Efro n. Unf or tun ate ly fo r Sylent, Zac insisted on applying it himself. A resident peeping-tom supposedly heard Zac say to Ms Whysper: “Stop touching my moobs!”. With that said, Sylent got up and stormed off back to the hotel,
where she feasted on Reese’s Pieces and Tootsie Rolls. The pair were later seen in the hotel lobby having an
GORDANA GETS COZY ON THE RED CARPET WITH ANTON VASILE Gordana has been seen getting raunchy on the red carpet with Anton Vasile at a film premiere last week. The EoE actress was seen with the ancient mystical being last week at the Macedonian premiere of The Muppets. As the photos show, they have no qualms with public displays of affection. Witnesses at the event saw Mr Vasile rip the front part off Gordana’s dress, leaving little to the imagination. As with most cases, Gordana declined to comment, apart from saying “Mind your own damn business!” It’s also rumored that Gordana is involved in the upcoming SSProductions feature Phantom of the Opera.
has to live with these conditions forever, she’s made the most of it by cashing in on them. Sunset Valley Forensic Investigator Hank Goddard explains: “in many crime scenes we find fart residue, but it was useless as it doesn’t have a DNA profile. With Kazee on hand, one sniff is all it takes. Over the last year, we’ve made 87 arrests using Kazee’s fart-sniffing superpower.” CHECK OUT KAZEE IN OUR DECENT EXPOSURE PHOTO THREAD ON P3!
argument, which abruptly put an end to their romance. Both parties declined to comment, though confirmed through their publicists that their brief union had ended. It is rumored that Ms Whysper had originally cast Zac in her upcoming, yet to be titled movie, however this may complicate their business relationship. Former celebrity and life coach Charlie Sheen gave us his opinion on the matter: “This was clearly a match made in hell. The first rule in romance is to never date a co-worker.”
DECENT EXPOSURE Simatographers this week were asked to take their pants off and have their photo taken for a worthy cause: Amusement. Check out the stars who weren’t too chicken to show you what they’re made of!
Midnight445
JN
AashleySEG & Bzanna
Kazee
Bordelinski
CatKetty21
Minraed
SSProductions
BUZZ!
SIFF POSTER DEADLINE THIS SUNDAY
SO FAR, THERE ARE 14 SIFF ENTRIES FROM NINE DIFFERENT COUNTRIES! DON’T MISS YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO SHINE! ENTER NOW!
Forum Thread MAKE AN AD! SUBMIT IT! RIGHT NOW!
SIFF March 2012 Playbill (so far) FILMS Ronson_14 - Spain A Love That Lasts Forever .
Oak Haven Productions - UK Cut From The Same Cloth .
ChristieL - Italy G.03, The Final Act
Soft Ball Girl - USA Book Traveller .
Ilya Vasilevskiy - USA Silence .
Bordelinski Films - USA The Island .
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Nanami- Mexico Mercy .
FA Productions - Argentina NEON
BROOKLYN WHITFIELD: WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO HER FATHER Chazz(Ipodtouchgirl21) has released a new series titled Brooklyn Whitfield: Detective. The story starts with a young woman named Brooklyn,
BIZARRE LOVE TRIANGLE AMONGST CO-STARS Dusty Dreamer’s cast are causing mayhem on the set of the new story-series, Midnight Blood. It seems that lead actress Ginger Nut (who plays Rose) is caught in a love triangle with co-stars John Stamos Jr (center) and Rupert Grint (right). An in-
MUSIC VIDEOS Demeter - USA I Will Always Love You .
SHORTS MJSimKat - USA 5 Facts About Me Steph Kline - Australia The Age of Picking SIFF STAFF SUBMISSIONS AAshleySEG - USA SIFF Movie
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JN Productions - New Zealand Ayla the Dryad .
SS Productions Team - US/UK/Macedonia The Phantom of the Opera
whose parents were tragically killed in a car accident. The story seems suspicious from the get go, as the father’s body wa s neve r foun d. Dissatisfied with these chain of events, The Exposer broke into ITG Films to take a peek at the script. We were shocked with what we found. As it turns out, Brooklyn Whitfield is not a young woman, but a large chicken dressed as one. The disguise is so elaborate that not even the audience can tell. It’s all revealed in the season finale, when Brooklyn’s father, a giant rooster,
appears out of the blue, wanting to explain why he was missing all this time. Mr Whitfield (whose real name is Chicken Boo) had spent months in hiding, trying to find out why their car crashed, and who was responsible for the death of his beloved wife, Harriet the hen. According to Mr Boo, his wife was assassinated for revealing the Colonial’s secret recipe to KFC’s rival fast food company, KFV (Kentucky Fried Vegan). Check this series out on channel ipodtouchgirl21.
side source revealed to the Exposer that Rupert is in love with Ginger, Ginger is in love with John Jr, and John Jr is in love with Rupert! While no-one is prepared to admit what’s going on behind closed doors, it is making things complicated on set. Apparently, cast-mate Nigel Nomates is jealous that he isn’t in a bizarre love
triangle, so is trying to initiate a new one with actors Ivana Tinkle and Mary Poppins. Dusty Dreamer, director of Midnight Blood, has threatened to pull the plug on the series if her cast cannot sort out their problems. “They’re acting like children, and I’ve had enough”, is what she said according to our source.
PICTURES Of the week
This week The Exposer delved into the Simatography photo galleries to see how all of you have been behaving. As usual, the community had plenty of scandalous and distasteful activities caught on camera.
Nooooo! My face is falling off!
Indecent Exposure
Get yo’ blood breath outta my face!
Minraed: “G’day, Mate!” SylentWhysper: “Live long and prosper”
PK: “Does this pose make me look pregnant?” Bzanna: “Yep”
Green with envy.
Be Careful…. I’m always watching...