The Unexposed Magazine No.2
The Unexposed Magazine, Issue No. 2. Dream/Fantasy. Released February 1, 2012. The Unexposed is an online magazine created by photographer Natasha Dominguez in order to showcase and ‘expose’ the work of emerging artists. The Unexposed is about getting creative work into the public eye while also revealing the artist behind the artwork.
The Unexposed Issue No. 2 The Unexposed a magazine for emerging artists Editor In-Chief Natasha Dominguez issuu // issuu.com/theunexposedmagazine magcloud // magcloud.com/user/theunexposedmagazine tumblr // the-unexposed.tumblr.com flickr // flickr.com/groups/theunexposed facebook // facebook.com/theunexp0sedmagazine email // email@example.com Front and back cover photograph by Marija Dimeski. All content copyright the artists. No commercial use without express written permission. ÂŠ 2012 Table Of Contents A Letter From The Editor What's Next ...4 . . . 155 Photography Corinne Perry Patricia Dunn Sheila Marie Trammel Lizzie Callen Takeshi Suga Andrew Lu Jillian Camille Luisa Lacsamana Siiri Kumari Marija Dimeski Masha Andreyeva EvitaWeed Rachel Lynn Rosa Joy Furneaux Nikki Chicoine Jessica Buckley Karl Erik Brøndbo Petra H. Bring Susan Falkenås Amy Nelson-Blain Fine Art ...6 . . . 12 . . . 18 . . . 28 . . . 34 . . . 40 . . . 56 . . . 62 . . . 68 . . . 80 . . . 86 . . . 92 . . . 98 . . . 104 . . . 110 . . . 118 . . . 124 . . . 130 . . . 136 . . . 142 Leilani Joy May Kindred-Boothby . . . 50 . . . 74 Writing Rachel McCarren Stefan Yambao Gabriela Leon Courtney Stanley . . . 24 . . . 46 . . . 116 . . . 148 A Letter From The Editor Dreaming is a curious occurrence. A dream can be both lovely and terrifying; revealing one's deepest desires as well as their darkest fears. For years dreams have inspired creative individuals to create their very own fantastical worlds; first inside of their minds and then translated into a work of art, whether that be a piece of writing, a photograph, a drawing or a painting. With this issue of The Unexposed magazine I set out to try and capture the visions of a variety of artists whose work reflects this broad theme... I invite you to get lost among the dreams and fantasies of these very talented emerging artists from around the world. -Natasha Photograph by Natasha Dominguez 5 Corinne Perry 21 / Birmingham, UK How did you first become interested in photography? How long have you been photographing for? I first became interested in Photography when I was studying Art at College and became much more interested in looking at the work of Photographers. So when I finished I decided to transfer to a Photography course. I’ve been learning Photography for about four years now but only really found the area of interest Photography wise when I started my second year of University and started taking selfportraits which was about a year ago. I made the swap from using my digital SLR to using a 35mm film and camera, then darkroom processing and hand colouring my Photographs. When I started doing this something just clicked with me and it felt right. As I’m very shy and find it hard to work with models I find that, as my concepts within my work are so personal to me, then it is right for me to be in them. What is your current relationship with photography? I currently study Photography at University in the UK. I’m in my final year at the moment so things are pretty hectic. I seem to have little time for other things at the moment. Who, or what is your biggest influence? I am inspired by creating a sense of something beautiful even in the most unsettling of images; it’s about having that balance between beauty and disturbance portrayed in a surrealist way and I would say that the biggest influence upon my work in terms of the narrative is my life with the things that happen around me and my emotions influencing and shaping my work. As far as Photographic influences I love the work of Francesca Woodman and Cindy Sherman’s Untitled film stills series. They both show the balance I am looking for. 7 Tell us a little bit about these particular photographs. The Photographs are from my latest project “Misery”. It’s about the breakdown of relationships and that unsettling surreal feeling when contentment/happiness is taken away from you. With the inspiration behind them being my emotions with my emotional state forming the basis of the narratives within the Photographs.They mean a lot to me as they are very personal. They are about me and I feel almost very protective over them and as they are darkroom based and hand coloured they are very fragile and precious objects to me. They are influenced by the element of dreams, as to me the series was a way of recording and expressing my emotions, some of which were dreams which were of a very nightmarish nature so I wanted my images to look very nightmare like and have a slight sense of horror and an unsettling eerie feel to them as to express my emotional state. What are your other hobbies, besides photography? Most of my life is taken up by Photography or thinking about Photography in some way. I enjoy looking around Antique and charity shops for props and inspiration for my work. I also like going to Art Galleries as this can be a great inspiration and drive to produce work. What are you plans for the future? I am not sure about the future yet, though I hope that I can continue to produce my work. If I am able to do that and if people liked it then I would be happy. Websites: www.corinneperry.co.uk http://flickr.com/photos/corinneperry 8 10 11 Patricia Dunn 20 / Manhattan, NY How did you first become interested in photography? How long have you been photographing for? I first became interested in photography when I was living in Arizona. My best friend became my muse. We had a great energy when making photographs together. I have been photographing for about six years now. What is your current relationship with photography? I am pursuing my BFA at the School of Visual Arts in New York City. Who, or what is your biggest influence? Personal experiences as well as my family are a big inspiration behind my work. My mother has been a huge influence, as well as supporter. Tell us a little bit about these particular photographs. These photographs are from the body of work, Mother the Cake is Burning. Each photograph is based off of moments and emotions connected to my childhood. These photographs are projections of my experiences as a young girl on to new subjects. 14 What are your other hobbies, besides photography? I love to embroider, knit, and sew. This past year I started incorporating needlework into my photography which has been refreshing! What are you plans for the future? I would love to build a tiny house somewhere and continue to explore photography, as well as needlework and bookmaking. Website: www.patriciamdunn.com 15 16 17 Sheila Marie Trammel 22 / Michigan How did you first become interested in photography? How long have you been photographing for? My interest in photography began when I was 11, upon receiving my first Polaroid camera. From then until age 16 my photos were boring; simple documentations of the surface world around me. It wasn’t until age 17 when photography became a serious venture for me and when I discovered that photographing myself was not only intriguing but insightful. Overall I have been photographing in one way or another for 11 years now. What is your current relationship with photography? To be honest photography has been a struggle for me as of late. It’s always been more of a passion than a hobby, but recently it’s been more like an internal battle. Somehow dealing with losing my youth and moving across the state has stymied my creativity in such a horrid way that I barely pick up my camera anymore at all. I’m trying to fight my way back to that creative being, but sadly, it’s been proving difficult. Who, or what is your biggest influence? I find the natural beauty of the world to be my influence. When I see a landscape or object in the right light, that is what makes my fingers itch and makes me want to put a model in front of the camera and take a picture. I am constantly seeking beauty in any space I occupy. I’ve never focused too much on famous photographers and their work and I guess I don’t know if that has helped or hindered me. Tell us a little bit about these particular photographs. The title of this set of work is “Ego States” and it represents all of the components of our preconscious/conscious. The dark bits that haunt you in the day and night when your mind drifts, the light bits that fill you up with brightness and keep you going, and finally the gray bits that bubble up and leave you feeling uneasy. I experience all of these frequently, in rotation. It’s important for me to document these experiences in self-portraits because it’s almost a way to release them from my mind, much like journaling does. And when I do take pictures, it’s typically for that very reason. What are your other hobbies, besides photography? I’m a big gamer. I love taking my mind off of life by playing a good Adventure/Role Playing video game. I used to love reading, but video games take you to another world in a much more powerful way. Instead of pretending to be the character of the book and falling into their predetermined world, you get to have a part in creating your own fantasy character and determining the plot of said game. I also write poetry, but have been struggling with that as well lately. 20 What are you plans for the future? Well, currently I am a Graduate student studying to become a Clinical Mental Health and Substance Abuse Counselor. In two years I will have my Masters and will be finding a job. Then I plan on marrying my boyfriend Dan and having children. Typical middle aged lifestyle. This is one reason I feel some urgency when I comes to loosing my creativity. I don’t want to be another soccer mom…I want to still have this special gift inside of me so I will always be unique. We’ll see though… • 21 Website: http://flickr.com/photos/hellosheilamarie 22 22 Rachel McCarren 21 / Pittsburgh, PA Dear Lover dear lover, you are the color of the first foreign films; over-saturatedand over-exposed. dear lover, your lipstick stains on my coffee mug taste like acrylic paint and acetate. dear lover, you left your french lace lingerie on the sofa back again. dear lover, try not to remember to put out your cigarettes in the crystal candy dish on the end table. dear lover, when you are reading in bed, your legs look like swan necks draped over the headboard. dear lover, leave the light on so I can admire the curve of your back and shoulders. dear lover, you are my favorite ghost to meet under the sheets. dear lover, don’t apologize for the rorschach blots your mascara leaves on the shams; I love you more for them. 24 dear lover, you left your stockings on the kitchen towel rack to dry; did you forget them? dear lover, your perfume followed me all the way to work this morning; where were you? dear lover, i discovered a half-eaten apricot on the balcony and a glass of brandy; were they yours? dear lover, it has been six weeks since you wrote me from Pari. dear lover, i miss the warmth of your body under the covers. dear lover, i am beginning to think you’ve left permanently. dear lover, i cannot sleep knowing i am your lover no longer. dear lover, i still have those stockings. dear lover, don’t come back for me. Rachel McCarren Race You To The Tigerâ€™s Cage Stable/ Unstable. I am holding onto you by the hair. Where did your freckles go? White-knuckled punch to the ribs. You bite your lip. Bleeding on the carpet. Black magic time clock on the piano rewinds. Women spinning backward pinning laundry to the wind. Tied up by the ankles in the y ard. Jump rope with my head sick, full of brambles. Switch stick to the thighs. You were always the sweet one. & Kind. Sticky/ Sweet. & Soft. Rocks in my palms. Pushed by my fever, fervor, into the river. Trembling. In the woods I find you kissing boys I always wished I could. Trade you your crown for my beret? No thanks. No way. Donâ€™t mention it. I crouch behind the moss eaten stones of my mausoleum, mopping the granite steps with my hair where you lay. I swear I never lost it for you, I never knew you were so close behind me, until today. 26 Rachel McCarren Amiss on your mattress stuffed with snakes i shift under your weight and hiss when you try to kiss my twisted wrists. Shinju Momoka (double suicide peach blossom) i want to collect peaches from the orchard down the street and carry them back in my skirt like a canopy. i want to drop them on your bed, and cut them into pieces against your sheets. i want to feed them to you blindfolded, so that you might taste each separately; flesh by flesh, piece by piece. i want to lick their blood from your palms, lips, and fingertips, and let you squeeze the pulp of my inner thighs. then when you are finished we will suck on the seeds and save them to make cyanide. 27 Lizzie Callen 19 / Chicago, Illinois How did you first become interested in photography? How long have you been photographing for? I'm not even really sure how I became interested in photography. I've always liked creating things, and my childhood was consumed with drawing and writing. I never thought of photography as an art form or a means of expression, and up until a certain point I hated cameras, mainly because I hated being in pictures. I think I was always drawn to visuals and images though, and something just made sense about pictures. I received a simple point and shoot camera after I graduated 8th grade, about six or seven years ago, and somehow I just never seemed to stop taking pictures since. What is your current relationship with photography? Right now it's just a hobby, as I'm currently studying graphic design and writing. But I feel weird calling it a hobby. Hobbies make me think of building toy trains and scrap booking. So maybe it's not a hobby, it's kind of just what I do, if that makes sense? I'm considering switching majors and inevitably schools, but I'm unsure of how things will end up with that right now. Regardless, I'm certain that photography will be a large part of the remainder of my life. Who, or what is your biggest influence? Anything and everything, really. I don't know if I have a biggest influence. I like looking at old family photos and movies. I'm a huge fan of Gregory Crewdson and Anna Gaskell, but I'm also really interested in Miranda July's films and overall work. I really enjoy a lot of underground and less established people found on flickr and art blogs like booooooom.com. I also tend to gain a lot of ideas from people who aren't artoriented, which is really refreshing and isn't something I was really conscious of until recently. I have a lot of friends who respect that I'm interested in art though they don't really enjoy it themselves, but they still have fascinating and quirky minds/personalities. Tell us a little bit about these particular photographs. I tend to gravitate towards taking photos in my bedroom and in my bathtub. They're such personal and intimate places, and the lighting tends to be so strangely and eerily beautiful, with a sense of calm teetering on the brink of uneasiness. Light has also been really intriguing to me, especially the relationship between isolated, glowing light and dreams/subconscious. I'm not quite sure what, but there's something really fantastic and ominous about it. These photos are trying to explore tha What are your other hobbies, besides photography? Baking, collaging, crafting, writing, listening to music, going to Denny's at 2 am with my friends What are you plans for the future? Hmm, what a broad question. The future. Well, I'm studying abroad in Italy from January until May, so roaming around Europe a bit, but past that, I'm not really sure! 30 31 32 Websites: http://flickr.com/photos/lizziecallen http://cargocollective.com/lizziecallen 33 Takeshi Suga 29 / Glasgow, UK How did you first become interested in photography? How long have you been photographing for? I think I got into photography to remain good friends with nostalgia. This happened in the summer of 2005. What is your current relationship with photography? Engaged to be married. Who, or what is your biggest influence? “Don’t think. Feel.” Bruce Lee Tell us a little bit about these particular photographs. I love sunny days in Glasgow. As my heart grew fonder, they became like a dream to me. I’m a photographer, so I did what I could – to preserve the city in this dreamy state. What are your other hobbies, besides photography? I don’t think I have one anymore. I turned every hobby I had into a profession. 36 What are you plans for the future? To get married as soon as possible. 37 Website: http://sugarcrisp.viewbook.com/ 38 39 Andrew Lu 18 / Chicago & New York How did you first become interested in photography? How long have you been photographing for? I first became interested in Photography in my freshman year of high school. At the beginning I really used photography to capture moments in my life that I wanted to keep forever, it's funny how it's grown to be so much more than that. Since I started when I was thirteen, I guess that makes it five years now. What is your current relationship with photography? I am currently studying photography at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. Who, or what is your biggest influence? Tim Walker and Deborah Turbeville are photographers that really inspire me. I love the way the create stories with their images. Juergen Teller also, the planned spontaneity in his images are so captivating. Most importantly, my father; he's the biggest influence in my life. Without him I probably would have never seen the camera the same way as I did. Tell us a little bit about these particular photographs. These images are from my series 'Empyrean'. I wanted to create images that seemed ethereal and heavenly but also haunting. I really wanted to create images that could fit the 'Dream' theme of this issue. I often think of nymphs and fairies when I think of dreams and fantasies and that's why I wanted to style the models the way they are. I also wanted a surrounding that seemed almost absent to create that dream like effect. What are your other hobbies, besides photography? Besides fashion, I really don't know what else I'm interested in. What are you plans for the future? Honestly, I want to shoot for Vogue and such. 43 44 Websites: http://andrewluphoto.com/ http://andrewluphoto.blogspot.com/ http://www.facebook.com/andrewluphoto 45 Stefan Yambao 20 / Ann Arbor, Michigan A scene from an old film that replays in her head time and time again Hearts beating in brittle cages, syncing with the flickering glow of fireflies. A breath, a beginning, then temperature rise, descent, and capture into the hungry maw of sheets --loop. Paris 1991 in that fleeting moment between heartbeats je tĂaime becomes je ne sais pas and i'm clutching my chest, feeling you pass me in a dizzying whirlpool of fractured bliss-do all memories disappear like smoke from cigarettes? i'm a god-awful mess, feeling your breathing and breathing you in, hearts strung together-birds of a feather-stitch up my heart with honey and leather (and antlers and gin)-do it again, count stars on my back and do it again. 46 Stefan Yambao Armageddon but this isn't the first time, i'm sure that a world has ended or a universe has collapsed-are you aware?--that every time you tugged at her sleeve, or rapped on her door, or traced hearts on her cheek, every wall, every ceiling, every city she had ever built crumpled beneath your 'i' and 'like' and 'you' and became nothing but dust and cinders as if, somehow, your words were a hurricane and her justifications were but spider webs Somewhere across the sea Somewhere across the sea, maybe (where the breeze blows quietly and a rabbit eats dandelions and birds whistle in the morning but sing softly at night), I might find you in a bungalow or a cabin or a cottage, and you might unfold me like your grandmother's hibiscus, slowly, lightly, but with that same urgency that compels grass to poke through snow and moths to break free from their cocoons. When the sun peeks through my curtains and stings my eyelids, I might feel you, still, unfurling me (petal by petal, leaf by leaf), coaxing me into beauty, peeling me apart with your gentleness (even when sparrows tap on my window, even when the scent of pancakes wafts about my room, even when the dream is over, and you were never anywhere at all). 47 Stefan Yambao South Carolina 2010 I fashioned a lifetime after your smile and pretended it was mine-diamond fantasies twisted with Van der Waals realities, delicate and perfect like Venus or Eden, but life's not like Eden because Eden's never near (it's never here), and you were never soft like Venus or that lifetime. I asked you, once, where we were: "Are we there yet?" "Not yet." "Then when?" "Not ever." And my heart split and scattered across the American West, flitting like butterflies to all the places it might have loved again. 48 Stefan Yambao Michigan 2006 It hit me all of a sudden--those things I never knew. What your favorite color was, and what that book you were writing was about. What you thought of Dostoevsky, and why you thought Oedipus was gay. How you felt about hyperboles and hyperbolas. If you thought I was lying when I said there were stars in your eyes. If you were ever even there. All those things I never knew... (All those things I should have known...) And I realized too late that I wanted to know you, all of you, from the blandest details to your frailties to your faults, and when I saw your brake lights that night, I imagined you were stopping just for me to catch up--so I ran, ran across the wet pavement, barefooted and teary eyed, trying to catch up to those brake lights that could have been stars, wanting so bad to tell you I loved you but didn't know you, missed you but never met you--but it was too late. You turned the corner and disappeared. And it hit me: it was over, all of it. I couldn't fathom you at all. I was left contemplating the person you might have been. 49 Leilani Joy 27 / San Francisco, CA How did you first become interested in art? How long have you been drawing for? I like to say that I started drawing as soon as I could hold a crayon. I was always enthralled with the idea that I could make something out of nothing. My parents are both in finance but they are both very creative people who were always coming up with innovative ways of keeping my younger sister and I entertained. My dad would bring home big rolls of butcher paper, which I would roll out on the kitchen floor and make elaborate murals for hours on end. I’ve been at it ever since. What is your current relationship with art? My desire to create is part of my DNA- whether it's drawing, painting, making costumes, or even making my own cartoons and movies. I can’t think of a time when it wasn’t part of my life, however only recently has it become my full time career. I recently quit my 9 to 5 secretary job to pursue art full time. The path I’ve chosen has not been an easy one, and there have been plenty of bumps along the way- but when I’m working on an exciting new assignment or even my own personal work, I could not be more content. The biggest lesson I’ve learned on my artistic journey thus far is; becoming a professional artist takes way more than talent. It takes tenacity, determination and passion. Even though there are times when I feel unsure about my career, I try to remember that I love it more than anything and if I keep working as hard as I can I will find success and happiness too. Who, or what is your biggest influence? My influences come from a variety of styles, but I'd say I'm most heavily influenced by art nouveau, manga, anime, pin up girls, tattoos, gothic art, and fashion illustration. When I was little I loved a series of books called, "Serendipity" books. They had wonderful illustrations by Robin James, who is still one of my role models and inspirations. I collected the books and began writing and illustrating my own homemade books at about 5 years old. In my early teen years I discovered anime and manga and instantly fell in love with the elongated, exaggerated female characters. At this point in my artistic development I strive to incorporate all my influences in my own unique style. Some of my favorite artists and influences are, Camilla d'Errico, Audrey Kawasaki, Erte, Alphonse Mucha, Sergio Toppi, David Downton, Laura Laine, and Stina Persson. Opposite Page: Alice 51 Tell us a little bit about these particular drawings. I think of each of my characters as my very own “dream girl.” Somewhat unintentionally- they all portray a unique aspect of myself. One day I can be childlike and sweet, another day I want to conquer evil while wearing 5 inch heels. Women are multifaceted. I believe there is an innocent damsel, a firey seductress, and a fierce heroine in us all. In my own fantasy world, all my girls would live together in harmony just as they do within me. "Spectra," Watercolor, Ink and Digital. 2010. This piece is probably my favorite piece. She actually came to me in a dream. I dreamed that I saw a girl with huge rainbow hair riding a horse and the hair was blowing wildly. I woke up and I just had to create her. I love the piece because it has a quiet thoughtfulness while also being extremely loud. Something about her just always makes me smile. "Rouge" Watercolor, Ink and Digital. 2011. This piece was inspired by the gorgeous Rihanna and my addiction to red hair. I wanted to capture a girl who is fierce and fiery but also somehow caught off guard. I like to suggest a soft vulnerability even in my fiercest of females. "Alice" and "The Mad Hattress" Acrylic and 3D Mixed Media on Panel. 2011. These two pieces are my interpretation of the beloved characters from Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. I've always been in love with story and Disney film. The concept of dream world where anything is possible has always been an intriguing concept to me. I think some form of "Alice" comes through in many of my pieces. "Magdalen and Magi" Watercolor, Ink and Digital. 2010. This piece was inspired by the holidays and was designed for my christmas card line. Magdalen and her owl, Magi, deliver christmas wishes to all those around her. Magdalen herself was inspired by a photo spread I once saw of Nicole Kidman in Vogue Magazine. Something about those images stuck with me and I think a little hint of her comes through in this piece. What are your other hobbies, besides art? This is a tough question for me- there are so many! I’m a bit of a “shoe-a-holic.” The more unique the better. I recently discovered the designer “Jeffery Campbell,” and saying I’m obsessed is an understatement. I’m also thrift store junkie and I love hunting for a special vintage piece. Other hobbies include; video games, Belgian beer, Cosplay, dancing, cult movies, chilling with my guinea pig, “Pokey,” and video blogging. 52 What are you plans for the future? I plan to just keep doing what I’m doing- working as hard as I can while enjoying life along the way and opening myself up to any opportunities that may come my way. I strive to keep learning and improving my craft while sharing my art with the world. Someday I hope to see my art work on everything from apparel to billboards to my own series of graphic novels or maybe even children’s books. In my most immediate future however- I plan to follow my favorite quote by the late and great, Andy Warhol; “Don’t think about making art- just get it done. Let everyone else decide whether it’s good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they’re deciding, make even more art!” Spectra Magdalen and Magi 53 54 Rouge Websites: Visit: www.LeilaniJoy.com Video Blog: http://www.youtube.com/user/MissLeilaniJoy Become a Fan: http://www.facebook.com/leilanijoy Tweet: http://twitter.com/MissLeilaniJoy The Mad Hattress 55 Jillian Camille 22 / Houston, TX How did you first become interested in photography? How long have you been photographing for? I've been photographing for over three years with at first digital and now film. At first I started shooting and playing around with my Nikon D40 and other DSLRs. But when it came to film and today, it all really started with my finding my dad's Canon AE-1 camera and shooting around with it. It was then I became interested in photography and continue to still learn and develop my skills now. What is your current relationship with photography? Right now it's a good hobby of mine as I'm a senior at the University of Houston finishing up my last year as a business student. I'm hoping to use what I learned from school to make my work expand for all those to see and still be taking photographs after I graduate. Who, or what is your biggest influence? Tamara Lichtenstein. Although she's from Houston and I've never met her before (or yet), I've always been a secret admirer of her work ever since I got a Flickr account years ago. Something special about how she shoots, her models, and most of all the colors going on around in each of her photographs. Not to mention, she does awesome double exposures as well! I hope to reach the great success she has eventually as a photographer. 58 Tell us a little bit about these particular photographs. I didn't want all my images to be boring and not much to look at. I wanted others to look at them for awhile and see other things going on beside a subject and a background. Perhaps two subjects and multiple backgrounds going on. I also wanted to play around with colors and how they do things in the image. But to me in general, I don't want my work to be boring but perhaps interesting to look at and to talk about them with others. In terms of the dream/fantasy theme, you can depict these images as surreal and a lot going on in terms of texture and color. What are your other hobbies, besides photography? Besides photography, I secretly paint and draw. But I have yet to show others my final work as I see it as a process and don't want to rush into conclusions. I also play video games on my PS3 when I have spare time and always considered myself to be a nerd at heart. What are you plans for the future? My plans consist of graduating from college this coming December as I'm really excited about that. To continue shooting and trying new things in my work especially fashion photography. And to travel to places I may have missed in Texas to shoot as well and outside my home state. 59 60 Websites: http://flickr.com/photos/whenthemusicsover http://jilliancamille.tumblr.com 61 Luisa Lacsamana 17 / Virginia How did you first become interested in photography? How long have you been photographing for? The interest in photography probably started during elementary school. My parents bought me a really bulky point and shoot and I would take photos of pretty much everything I came across . My interest was never really serious until I enrolled in my school's photo class during my freshman year of high school. What is your current relationship with photography? I am currently taking a photo class in my high school and shooting for fun apart from the class assignments. Once senior year rolls around I'm planning on applying to art schools om the east coast. Who, or what is your biggest influence? My parents and the internet. Tell us a little bit about these particular photographs. This series, entitled Nightmares, was created as a story exploring the world of two sisters. The images, having a ghost-like air to them, represent the haunted thoughts of these girls as well as the mystics and mayhem troubling their lives. My friend Robin, also a model for this shoot, was definitely one of the major inspirations along with Diane Arbus' photograph Identical Twins. I want this series to evoke strong reactions and leave lasting impressions on people, like nightmares do. What are your other hobbies, besides photography? I enjoy playing tennis, designing/making graphics, going on adventures with my cousins and friends, playing the guitar, drawing, napping, and surfing the interwebs. What are you plans for the future? My plan is to study photography and related art fields in college and to keep on keepin' on wherever that takes me. 64 65 Websites: http://flickr.com/luisasart http://luisalacsa.blogspot.com 66 67 Siiri Kumari 19 / Estonia, United Kingdom How did you first become interested in photography? How long have you been photographing for? Photography is something quite new for me. I bought my first camera, a Zenit-B, about two years ago and took some occasional photos with it. I didn't even know how the camera functioned, but some shots turned out okay and that was enough for the roots of an impossible idea to start growing. What is your current relationship with photography? I have never really studied photography, but rather learned through trial and error. I will be applying to the London University of Art though to study the technical aspects of photography - lighting, composition, styling etc. Who, or what is your biggest influence? I'm mainly influenced by the environment and people around me. My photographic inspirations are Hania Komasinska, Marta Bevacqua, Wojciech ZwoliĹ„ski and Anna Wolf. Tell us a little bit about these particular photographs. One of the main subjects in my works is the human becoming one with the nature, one of my favourites being a series featured in this magazine where I photographed LottaDjossou's timeless, animal-themed jewellery, where the model experiences the world through the spirits of three creatures: butterflies, owls and beetles. Another main element in my works is a dreamcatcher which is a symbol of messages sent by sacred spirits. The dreamcatchers shoot is a story of two sisters who create the world of dreams, rising with every golden sunset, eyes filled with sorrow. What are your other hobbies, besides photography? I also do photomanipulations (digitally blending different photographs together). What are you plans for the future? I hope that one day photography will be my full time job; and that my works will inspire others like their support has inspired me. Dreamcatchers: Photography & Retouching by Siiri Kumari Models: Johanna Taiger & Anneliis Volmer Makeup: Emilia Elizabeth Kruusmann Forest Spirits: Photography & Retouching by Siiri Kumari Model & Makeup: KĂ¤rolin-Lii Kaljula 70 71 72 Websites: http://nordvinter.darkfolio.com http://mellupesa.blogspot.com 73 May Kindred-Boothby 19 / Brighton, England How did you first become interested in art? How long have you been drawing for? My mum is an artist, when I was a kid I became home schooled and she was my teacher, so naturally she taught me to draw and I instantly fell in love with it. I love being able to create whole worlds with just a pencil and some paper. What is your current relationship with art? I'm not studying, I think too many people get rushed into university and 'taught' to do a creative thing, which just doesn't make sense to me, but it's a lot more than just a hobby as well. Who, or what is your biggest influence? People, the beauty of small details that nobody notices, and making an unreality out of reality. People are so fascinating to draw in all of their many complexities. I've always drawn people from when I was very young, especially eyes. The layers and small details of the skin, hair, irises, is just phenomenal. And then you have the emotions and personalities underneath that as well that comes through with every tiny line and mark. I could never get bored of it. But to then take that very strong reality, and make it surreal is even more magical. It's like playing god with a pencil. You get to create the world you want. Tell us a little bit about these particular drawings. There's a theory that the 2012 end of the mayan calender is not saying the end of the world, but the end of this stage of the world, that we are about to embark on the next part of our evolution. I'm not necessarily saying I believe in these prophecies but it's interesting food for thought - where we could go next. The animal pictures are partly a literal representation of what a fantastical part of me (and the x-men fan in me) wants to happen and partly a metaphor for what I genuinely hope will happen, that we will get back to our roots, remember we are animals, abandon this mad and destructive mindset of greed and want and remember that we are all connected, and that everything that we do affects everything else around us, whether we believe in prophecies and 'connectivity' or not. What are your other hobbies, besides art? I'm also a musician (see websites), photographer, writer, reader, clothes maker, good foody... What are you plans for the future? Ideally, get my work into galleries, continue doing free lance work and living the happy life of a penniless artist. â€˘ Websites: http://flickr.com/maykb http://maykb.bandcamp.com 76 77 78 79 Marija Dimeski 16 / Macomb, Michigan How did you first become interested in photography? How long have you been photographing for? I became interested when I was 13 and got my first little digital camera. I took it everywhere with me and photographed everything. I have been photographing for 3 years now and just this past year after getting a DSLR and a film camera I have begun to study digital and film more in depth so I can understand it better and improve my work. What is your current relationship with photography? Most of my time is devoted to it at the moment. I'm experimenting with many different techniques and trying to search for my own voice and what I feel will reflect me best as an artist and person, I still have a very, very long way to go. Who, or what is your biggest influence? Daydreaming, culture, the way light touches objects, emotions, sounds, eras, words, lightness, and darkness. Some people who influence me would be Natalie Kucken, Tim Walker, Martin Scorsese, Stanley Kubrick and Mr. Tim Burton. Tell us a little bit about these particular photographs. I'm taken back by my dreams and how vivid they become... like I am in another universe. I'm also inspired by childhood stories from the past that I only remember bits and pieces of. I put these two aspects together and along with using a basic idea/concept I escalate from there. The rest is improvised by my environment and how I was feeling in that given moment when I was taking pictures. What are your other hobbies, besides photography? Watching films, thinking, doing comedy sketches, writing, and exploring other artistic mediums. What are you plans for the future? I'm focused on getting through 1.5 more years of high school and then getting ready to move to NYC in 2014. Although the future is still very foggy right now, I'm exited and looking forward to it! I'm not sure what I have in plan because it always seems to change depending on the day, but career wise... I have always had a particular interest in cinematography/filmaking. We will see what happens! â€˘ 82 84 Website: http://flickr.com/photos/jockinmystyle 85 Masha Andreyeva 16 / Palo Alto, California How did you first become interested in photography? How long have you been photographing for? In my childhood, I used to be one of those kids who takes pictures of anything, anyone, anywhere, and I was particularly talented in the blurry unrecognizable still life, and occasional spontaneous portraiture. However, my real interest I discovered in 9th grade in my photography class, when I was 13. Thanks to my awesome teacher, Mrs. Garvey, I saw it all in a new way--as an art that is actually far more complicated and layered than it appears. What is your current relationship with photography? Currently, I am enrolled in advanced photography independent study at my new high school and I'l definitely continue taking classes. However, I use photograpzhy as a happy escape from the dreadful stacks of papers and textbooks in my room. As cheesy as this is going to sound, it's a moment when I get to see and think about the world around me (as opposed to being confined in my world of SAT books, College Guides, and essays). Photography is a huge help in my life, and I love everything about it. Who, or what is your biggest influence? Well, everything really. But I'd say that Flickr is actually a huge influence...it's got that competitive vibe and so many ideas, it really a perfect place for inspirations. Also, music, travel, and Nick Knight. Music is amazing for recreating songs into images- it's a beautiful thing that art can always be translated in so many ways. Voyages always have that awe factor that is like a trigger for you to capture what you see because you just don't ever want to forget it. And Nick Knight...what is there to say? He's a genius. Probably my favorite current fashion photographer. Tell us a little bit about these particular photographs. Well the two from my self-portrait series reflect the ability to create in a dream or a fantasy world--it's a great feeling, isn't it? But the two have entirely different tones. The one in color is also a reflection of the Wonder Stranger bit of me...which I guess is that part of you that's different, but beautifully so--the part you surprise yourself with, it makes you proud. And sometimes it's the way you want to be seen. The light in the image depicts my love for creating-- and in my fantasy world I'd definitely be sure to have light creating powers, ha. The other image is rather nightmarish from the tone because it portrays power--A creator, a mighty being. It's real concept in our lives, after all doesn't this define an artist? But in fantasy the power is maximized, naturally, and it's beautiful what that can do in our minds, dreams, imagination. We Are Lilliputs is a reference to one of my favorite childhood stories, Gulliver's Travels, and also a reference to the dream everyone has in their lifetime where everything is out of proportion. A peculiar dream, but it's another perspective, which is what I love in dreams- there are no limits. Lastly, Rette Mich (translates to Rescue Me) is a depiction of another kind of dream or even situation just about everybody experiences. It is the dream where you are so lost and confused, your mind is so heavy, and all you desire is to escape it. You see things but you can't understand them, they are morphing silhouettes. This is a feeling I often get between sleeping and waking up and realizing that I have to go to school, ha. 89 What are your other hobbies, besides photography? I love to attempt graphic design, drawing and painting in my free time. I am also a dancer, though I haven't yet enrolled in a studio due to my recent move. I would love to turn snorkeling and scuba diving into a weekly hobby, ha. Travel, of course, whether it be far or near. I used to be a sports girl doing gymnastics and I played the violin, but sadly I irrationally decided to take advanced classes that pertain nothing to my interests, so they largely consume my time from hobbies nowadays. What are you plans for the future? Well, if I had my way in the near future, my life would consist of me studying photography at a successful University in New York or in the UK, doing study abroad, meeting awesome people, volunteering around the world and then becoming an editorial photographer (penthouse and petite giraffes included). But on a realistic note, since that's the way the world works, I hope to decide on what I want my career to be, get accepted to a nice East or West Coast University in America, and study something in the field of art, architecture, psychology, or languages. Hopefully, I'll be able to contribute to society and such, I hope to be helpful. Then I will just go with the flow because being open is a huge advantage when life throws things at you. 90 Websites: http://flickr.com/photos/mashaandreyeva http://wonderstranger.tumblr.com 91 EvitaWeed (Eva Gonz谩lez L贸pez) 25 / Granada, Spain How did you first become interested in photography? How long have you been photographing for? I've always liked making pictures, it is magical. I remember that from childhood I have always had cameras and I've always loved the polaroids, the black and white photos, but it was not until 2002 that I decided to study a little more of the technical aspects of photography, and since then I have not stopped translating my day to day with pictures. What is your current relationship with photography? Today is my job, I work exclusively with it and I love what I do. Working for magazines, blogs, I do commissions for web pages, books, the truth is great and hopefully I will continue so long. Who, or what is your biggest influence? A tremendous influence of mine are all photographers like me who are still emerging and are not well known, and are my friends on social networks like Flickr and position, where we exchange views on the same things and situations. But if I talk about the work of the greats of photography, the person I most admire is Annie Leibovitz 94 Tell us a little bit about these particular photographs. Reading quietly in nature, I realized that I was in such a magical place as full of life, and simply created a story of love in nature. The meeting came a beautiful spring afternoon, inspired by the text of C. Bukoswki: “One Day I’ll be sitting over here, in the shadows of a strange garden, the evening will fall again and I’ll forget to make a resolution. Uncontrolled tripping, an unexpected future…” What are your other hobbies, besides photography? I love reading, listening to music, traveling, I love discovering new sights and places to eat in nature, going to bathe in rivers, beaches, and taking walks with my dog. What are you plans for the future? I hope to continue as I am 95 Websites: http://flickr.com/photos/evitaweed http://evitaweed.tumblr.com http://evitaweed.carbonmade.com http://cargocollective.com/EvitaWeed 96 97 Rachel Lynn 19 / New York City & The Woodlands, TX How did you first become interested in photography? How long have you been photographing for? I became interested in photography when I took Art II Photography my sophomore year of high school, when I was fifteen. I wanted to take Painting, but the class was full, so photography was my second choice. But I'm glad I took photography instead, since I can't draw or paint at all, and I probably would have given up on art if I ended up in painting. So, I've been photographing for about four years now. What is your current relationship with photography? I'm currently studying it (BFA Photography.) Who, or what is your biggest influence? I don't think I could name a single photographer or artist who influences me. As lame as this sounds, it's usually whatever music I'm listening to that inspires me the most, since it sets the mood for whatever I'm planning on doing. Tell us a little bit about these particular photographs. These were a part of a series I did based on the Alice in Wonderland. I really loved just how strange the stories are; how they're childlike and fantastical, while still appealing to the intellect and imaginations of older readers. I wanted to do a take on the story that was about Alice's adventure, childhood fantasies, and growing up (as I was modeling as Alice as a teenager.) What are your other hobbies, besides photography? I love to sing whenever I can, and I read a lot and write sometimes. What are you plans for the future? I'm hoping to graduate, first off. I'd like to get into photographing concerts and bands, or I'd like to open a used book store, but I haven't decided on a future career right now. 99 100 101 Website: www.rachellynn.net 102 103 Rosa Joy Furneaux 19 / Norfolk and Canterbury, UK How did you first become interested in photography? How long have you been photographing for? I have carried a camera since I was fifteen, and suffering from severe acne. My line of defense was to be the once behind the camera, instead of the one in front of it. My love for photography came on so fast that I think I’m still catching up with it. What is your current relationship with photography? I am self-taught, though I was able to take a module at university this year in the histories of photography. I love studying the theoretical/critical side of photography, as well as practicing it with a camera in my hands. Outside my studying I have a small portrait photography business, where I specialize in natural light, on-location portraiture, and for my own memories I shoot a lot of film on my Minolta x-300. Who, or what is your biggest influence? In terms of photographers, I have met wonderful friends on the photo-sharing site, Flickr, without whom I would never have had the drive to improve. Professionally, among many others I admire Sally Mann, Susan Sontag, Gregory Crewdson, and Luc Delahaye. Personally, my experience volunteering in southern Africa last year was without doubt a catalyst to one of the biggest changes to my photographic “path”. It has encouraged me to pursue a career in photojournalism, and to tell the stories of the people who need others to listen most. 106 Tell us a little bit about these particular photographs. Each of these photographs come from somewhere a little different, but significantly I think it is important to know that each of them was not taken, but made. They are not imprints of “real” life, although real life made them possible. In some ways they are a metaphor for the way we should all view our dreams and our fantasies. These are not beyond our reach; they are simply waiting to be created. What are your other hobbies, besides photography? I love to sing, to write, to read, and to dance. All of these influence the way I shoot, I think. For my self-portraiture, writing and reading help me to think conceptually, songs affect the ambience I want to portray, and dance inspires the movement in my pictures. What are you plans for the future? I want to be a photojournalist. I’ve known it for a little while, but only admitted it recently. At sixth form I used to steal the library’s copy of the Guardian newspaper, tear out the middle pages and hide the photographs in my bedroom. I want to travel, I want to help, I want to speak up, and I want to do it with a camera in my hand. 107 Websites: www.rosajoy.com http://flickr.com/photos/aida_e 108 109 Nikki Chicoine 20 / Vermont, USA How did you first become interested in photography? How long have you been photographing for? When I was 13 I used to take photos of myself on a daily basis with a point and shoot, just little quirky face shots for myspace at the time. I really loved doing it so much that I upgraded cameras to a better (but essentially the same) point and shoot digital camera that had manual settings on it. When I was 16 I started my first photography class and learned proper techniques with film. It wasn't until I was 18 in my first year of college that I discovered the use of digital photography creatively and came across some amazing people on the website Flickr. On my 19th birthday I got my first DSLR camera (a Nikon D3000) which I still use today, so I've only been conceptually shooting for about 2 and a half years. What is your current relationship with photography? It started as just a hobby, but I always knew I was going to go to school for art. I thought I was going to be a painter but after my hobby of photography took over my life I began focusing all of my school work based upon my photography and now I study it. Who, or what is your biggest influence? I know it's vague, but I would have to say life is my biggest influence. I take from my own physical, behavioral, and emotional boundaries as a human being. I started creative photography because of the photographers Lissy Elle and Brooke Shaden. To me they were more than just pretty photographs... I was intrigued by the concepts and the play of certain ideas dealing with both childhood (Lissy's photographs) and of birth and death (Brooke's). I began finding ways to not only combine and mix these two realms of photography, but also explore the emotional side of both of them as well as just the aesthetic side. 111 Tell us a little bit about these particular photographs. My cloud series was first inspired by a single photograph. I was asked to take a portrait of my boyfriend and I depicting how I viewed our relationship. I felt that we were both dreamers and immediately thought of the saying "to have your head in the clouds", meaning to be lost in dreams or goals of the future. I played on this idea of mixing clouds, dreams, and yearning of the future, so these photographs have a very special place in my heart. I wanted my headless photography to immediately give off the feeling that the subject in the photograph has lost their mind, literally. I feel the photographs play on this whimsical role of going through life and activities like a crazy person having no idea what they are doing; they are living in a fantasy world. What are your other hobbies, besides photography? I spend most of my days worrying about photography, but besides photo I am a full time college student so I have a lot of classwork. I enjoy reading mystery novels when I can. I also paint and draw, and I run an online magazine that also features artists titled "Golden Age Magazine". I'm in a serious long term relationship with my boyfriend (we've been dating for 6 years now) so I love spending a lot of time with him, and I also love to just be with my friends. What are you plans for the future? My goal is to essentially become my own independent photographer. I'm working my way up to credentials and being as educated as possible, and also making references along the way. I'm graduating college with a Bachelor of Fine Arts in May of 2013 and I'm looking into relocating to a larger populated area to accommodate my business and to possibly continue with education in a Masters of Fine Arts. 112 Websites: www.nikkichicoine.com http://flickr.com/photos/jesuisnikki 114 115 Gabriela Leon 14 / Canada Untouchable 116 Let the skin feel the softness as I touch down. My eyes are lulled to a close and then I see you. Floating away, yet closer towards me. Untouchable. Drifting away, pulling closer. I inhale the smell of your hair, the softness of your dress, the touch of you skin, yet nothing is there. Words come and go, but nothing is said. I can see the injustice, yet I cannot speak against it. You put your hands across my mouth, to silence me. I feel no struggle, you are gentle. But one cannot un see, what one has seen. You drift away, before I can ask of your story. Ascending up, away from me. I'm falling deep, but you stay calm. And I plunge away, and I can no longer see, the heavens of above. Then my eyes are opened and you are taken away from me. But you are still there. My sweet fantasy. My angel. Untouchable. Website: http://poetanddidntevenknowit.blogspot.com Photograph by Natasha Dominguez 117 Jessica Buckley 19 / New York, NY How did you first become interested in photography? How long have you been photographing for? I first became interested in photography around the age of 15. This was about the time I started really caring about fashion and I was also editor-in-chief of my yearbook where I was introduced to SLR cameras. I discovered I could combine these two interests and soon became slightly obsessed. What is your current relationship with photography? Right now I am studying photography at The School of Visual Arts in New York City. Who, or what is your biggest influence? Daydreams. I am constantly coming up with themes and ideas that culminate until I have a plan for a photo shoot. I am always seeing things that inspire me so I have a book that I take with me everywhere, full of hundreds of drawings and ramblings about what I want to shoot next. Tell us a little bit about these particular photographs. The photos of the girl in the graveyard were inspired by the place itself, Greenwood Cemetery. It is a huge old cemetery in Brooklyn with rolling hills, lots of moss, and Â decaying headstones overlooking a murky lake. When I first walked through this cemetery, I felt like I was in a dream. It is so detached and quiet, not spooky, but almost peaceful. The photos of the twin sisters are inspired by the girls themselves. I think the idea of twins is pretty fantastical and interesting, and I wanted to capture the relationship of the two sisters, so close but so different. What are you plans for the future? Well, the next 3 years I will be finishing school, but once I've graduated I will probably move onto assisting for a bit until I get my foot in the door of the fashion industry. Eventually I hope to be doing a mix of advertising and editorial work. â€˘ 120 Websites: http://jessmariephoto.com http://jessmarie-photo.tumblr.com 122 123 Karl Erik Brøndbo 32 / Oslo, Norway How did you first become interested in photography? How long have you been photographing for? I started working as a cameraman in TV when I was 21 years old, and worked for a long time with news and documentaries. Got a bit tired of that and went to the national film school in Norway to be a cinematographer. I have always done a lot of still photos, but not as a job - it's just my hobby. What is your current relationship with photography? I work as a cinematographer in Oslo. I make commercials, music videos - all sorts of things. And I'm taking a lot of still images with my new Hasselblad 503. Who, or what is your biggest influence? As a cinematographer I'm inspired by the work of Hoyte van Hoytema, Roger Deakins, Kasper Tuxen, Lance Acord. And still photographers like Tim Walker, Gregory Crewdson. But I get inspired by a lot of things - it could be the look of an old tecnicolor film from the 50's, a great location, music, art. Tell us a little bit about these particular photographs. I'm always amazed how these cinematographers are able to tell a story with lighting, and the way they give each scene the right mood. I like Tim Walker because of his fantastic production design and Gregory Crewdsons because of his dreamy and cinematic ideas. What are your other hobbies, besides photography? I try to watch one movie every day. No time for other hobbies really. What are you plans for the future? I would really like to shoot a feature film. That's my dream. And our graduation movie from the film school, Tuba Atlantic, just got nominated for the Oscars, so I'll go to LA for a couple of weeks. â€˘ 126 127 128 Websites: http://flickr.com/photos/karlerikbrondbo http://vimeo.com/karlerikbrondbo/videos 129 Petra H. Bring 21 / Stockholm, Sweden How did you first become interested in photography? How long have you been photographing for? I have been photographing since I was eight years old. I think I got it from my dad, since he's always been really interested in photopgraphy. What is your current relationship with photography? It's always been a hobby for me. Who, or what is your biggest influence? I don't know, I'm pretty much inspired by everything. I think my work kind of represents some kind of nostalgia. Lars Tunbjรถrk is my favorite photographer though. Tell us a little bit about these particular photographs. There is something dark about these photographs, perhaps a feeling of wanting something that isn't real, something more than life, which usually is the kind of things I dream about. Asleep or awake. What are your other hobbies, besides photography? I like hanging out with animals, drawing, reading fiction and watching the news. What are you plans for the future? I don't really have any plans for the future. I'm studying french right now, so I guess my plans are to continue doing that. 132 133 134 Website: http://flickr.com/photos/drakenkatla 135 Susan Falken책s 25 / Olso, Norway How did you first become interested in photography? How long have you been photographing for? I first became interested in photography when I moved to Paris in 2008. Before this I had admired the work of others, but thought that I couldn't do it myself. It may sound pretentious, but I really felt that when I left Norway for Paris, I also left all my boundaries. Since then I have been documenting my life. What is your current relationship with photography? Today I study photography in Oslo at Bilder Nordic School of Photography. I'm on my last semester, and it feels crazy to be heading out of there so soon. Who, or what is your biggest influence? t's hard to pick one person to be my biggest influence, especially while in school, when we are exposed to different styles and different photographers on a daily basis. But my teacher Damian Heinisch is an amazing person and photographer who does everything he possibly can to inspire his students. My class mates influence me a lot as well. I question everything about myself as a photographer, so I tend to feel inspired by works that answer to some of my recent doubts. 138 Tell us a little bit about these particular photographs. These pictures are part of a retrospective series on when I lived in Paris. They reflect around the act of physically moving from one place to another, and question what it is we try to achieve. Are you moving to a new place or are you leaving one behind? You go with infantile eyes and a heart full of expectations, and sometimes your hopes are exceeded. Other times they aren't. What are your other hobbies, besides photography? My absolute favorite thing to do when I have time (and when I don't) is to rest my head on my boyfriends shoulder. What are your plans for the future? Ah! Good question! I know I will work with my personal documentary projects, and I will work damn hard. What I don't know is if my paid work will be as a photographer. Anders Petersen recently said that "a photographer who wants to be a photographer is not a photographer". Of course there are different views on this, but for me it pretty much sums up how I feel about it. I don't want to do any commercial work just for the sake of using a camera. I'd rather take a completely different job and do my own projects on the side. Website: http://susidus.tumblr.com 141 Into The Sea Photography by Amy Nelson-Blain Photography and Cinematography: Amy Nelson-Blain - http://www.amynelsonblain.com Styling: Ashleigh Kelly Wardrobe: Lisa Brown - http://www.lisa-brown.com.au/ Model: Alexandra Elizabeth King 144 Wake Up By: Courtney Stanley 148 Courtney Stanley The reality of this place stung Puck’s skin, tiny prickling needles. In the bed of his cold, dimly lit room he blinked away the harshness, the sharp edges and bright lights. Slits in his blinds gave way for moats of light crisscrossing over his bed, and he watched specks of dust flow through them. Little bits of skin, his skin, his life, floating around in those beams stretched across the room. He felt unwelcome in his skin, this vessel. He wanted to go back. The bottle of pills beside his bed had been empty for weeks. Rummaging through the drawer, he shook numerous bottles but came up empty handed. He cursed, lying back down trying to calm his anxious subconscious. In through the nose and out through the mouth. He breathed like he had been taught. Then relax the muscles, recall the dream. He tried to remember where he had just been with Bridget. Her face was unfocused; he closed his eyes tighter, trying to clean the lens of his mind, but he had no success. Images, tiny details, flashed by distorted and discolored like part of an old film: sunlight in her hair, hair blown off her shoulder, a crinkle in the skin by her eyes when she smiled with her stupid big mouth. Stop focusing on the details. He cursed and beat on his skull trying to shake loose those devious dream images stored in the recesses of his mind. He made it summer just for Bridget, he remembered that. The grass was dying for a little rainwater and they lay with their long limbs all tangled up and sweaty from the relentless heat. Whether he was actually dreaming again or it was just wishful thinking he wasn’t sure, but he was back in that field with her. When he reached for her she vanished. He called her name, he screamed until his throat was raw but made no sound. He heard his name whispered back, Puck, it said. Then he was being shaken. “Puck, you’re doing it again.” A woman sat down on the bed beside him. “Puck?” He shook his head, the images getting all muddled up again. “Well I know how to cheer you up,” she said with a devilish grin, ripping the sheets away and sliding her tongue down his chest. “God Tessa, not now.” He said, pushing her head away. “Hey,” she said fixing her hair. “I was only trying to help. If anyone has the right to be all moody it should be me with you calling out that other chick’s name all the time.” 149 Courtney Stanley He rolled out of bed and she followed him to the kitchen, babbling all the way. “That’s okay though, I don’t even care. You can yell her name in your sleep all you want, go ahead, ‘cause I can make you scream consciously.” He chugged a glass of orange juice. “You want some breakfast, baby?” she cooed. “No.” He shook her off and retreated back to the bedroom Her little feet padded along behind him. “You’ve got to eat something, you’re getting like, disgustingly thin.” She pounced into bed. “I shouldn’t feel like I’m going to break you when we have sex, Puck. That’s how I feel. Like I’ll break you. Are you going to sleep again?” she whined. He kept his eyes closed and hoped she would give up, but giving up was not in Tessa’s nature. She punched him in the arm until he moved. “Puck, let’s do something. Let’s go somewhere.” She always dragged her words out like that, even more so when she was whining. “I’m tired.” “That’s what you always say. It’s three in the afternoon. I wanna go out.” Ignoring her, Puck took the empty pill bottle from beside his bed and shook it in her face. “Hear that? We’re out.” “Go to hell,” she said, getting up. “Wait-wait-wait,” he grabbed her hand, “You get me a refill, and I’ll take you out tonight.” Her eyes lit up. “Dancing?” “Whatever you want.” He dropped the bottle into her outstretched palm and once she had left, relaxed. He figured he only had an hour or two, so he put all of his effort into falling back into the dream. The field, okay. Thirsty, yellowing grass, yes. The wind carried his voice away no matter how hard he tried to yell. His lips formed the words but his message scattered. Another gust blew past his ear. “I’m here,” it seemed to say, and then the air stilled. “Bridget.” 150 Courtney Stanley “What are you doing with that girl? I have to say, I’m a little offended.” He turned around to face her. “Stop it.” “Okay, so we aren’t technically together anymore. Still, I thought you had standards, Puck.” “Stay out of my mind.” “I am your mind.” “Stop it.” “Oh, Puck. You of all people should know. You used to preach this! Oh mighty king of all dreams, or whatever it is they call you. None of this is real.” “I can’t go back.” “I think you’re a little confused. Maybe you should hold off on the drugs next time. You used to hide from your dreams in reality and now what? Reality got too difficult so you’re hiding in here? Very clever.” “There’s nothing left for me out there. Bridget is gone, the real Bridget. I couldn’t save her.” “You’re losing touch with reality, Puck.” “I don’t care.” “You should. You can’t stay here.” “Why not?” “Well for starters, I don’t think you’ll be able to sleep through Tessa’s whining.” “She’s getting more pills. One bottle is all I need.” “Puck, no. Promise me right now that you won’t do that.” “Why shouldn’t I? I’ve messed everything up, I told you there’s nothing left for me there. I thought I could do something with my life. Something that people would remember, but what difference would it make if I never woke up again?” “Puck, nothing is permanent. One day, the sun is going to swell and eat up the earth. The entire earth, Puck! And that’s if humanity can even last that long, which I sincerely doubt. Nothing stays forever, nothing is permanent. The land we’re standing on won’t be here someday.” 151 Courtney Stanley “What am I supposed to do?” “You were supposed to protect me.” “And I couldn’t. I really did try, but I couldn’t.” “Don’t give up on me, Puck.” “I don’t even know if you’re still out there.” “That’s a terrible excuse! You shouldn’t have given up unless you were sure.” “I—” “Stop rationalizing. Get back out there. Do something useful with your life.” They stood in silence, face to face. “You’re right.” “Of course I am.” “Yeah, you’re right. Why did I give up so easily?” He started to pace. “She’s out there, I know it. I can feel it. I’ll do it right this time, I promise,” he looked to Bridget with a grin, but she was gone. His smile fell. Something hit his cheek so far away and his consciousness broke for a moment, but he held his eyes closed tight. For a moment he was aware of both the dream and reality. “Bridget wait!” “Puck, get up, we have to get ready!” Tessa’s voice. The world around him was crumbling. “Wait, what do I do?!” he called out to no one. He tried to grasp onto the fading sky, but it was useless, the dream was collapsing too fast. “Puck, wake up.” Eyes open. Back in the dim room. The new bottle of pills next to his face. “I’ll be ready in an hour, you better be too,” Tessa said. 152 Courtney Stanley He blinked at the ceiling. The dust. There was less light now. Tessa kept talking but Puck wasn’t listening, he was trying to recall the dream. It was right there, at the edge of his consciousness. He made it summer for Bridget, he remembered that. There was the slightest hint of a feeling, but he couldn’t place it. “Puck! I’m trying to talk to you.” “What? Sorry.” He rolled out of bed, his thoughts now on ways to get out of this mess. He couldn’t dance worth shit. 153 154 What's Next Issue No.3 The theme for the third issue is Birth/Beginning. As the artist you may interpret this however you wish! The birth of a human/animal, the birth of an idea/emotion/feeling, the beginning of a new era/new year/new mindset or something completely original born from your own imagination! With the release date falling around the beginning of springtime I thought that this would be a very fitting theme and the possibilities are endless. Remember we accept photography, fine art, and creative writing! Read below for submission guidelines. Deadline for submissions: March 14th, 2012 Expected release date: April 1, 2012 To submit your work for consideration please send samples to: firstname.lastname@example.org For more guidelines on submissions please visit: the-unexposed.tumblr.com 155