The Transmitter Issue 23

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Capel Manor College Capel Manor is the largest land-based college in London, offering courses for those interested in a career working with plants, trees, flowers or animals. Our students regularly win awards and many go on to set up their own businesses or have fulfilling careers in the green sector.

SPRING INTO A GREEN CAREER Whether you’re a keen horticulturalist or aspiring garden designer, passionate about animals or protecting the environment, we have a course for you.

COURSES STARTING IN APRIL/MAY Level 1 Practical Gardener

Two days a week for five weeks This course is aimed at those looking for a qualification in fundamental horticulture skills, and covers theory, practical knowledge and hands on experience in a range of topics.

Level 3 Subsidiary Diploma/Diploma in Animal Management

One day a week for four terms OR One day a week for six terms Designed to prepare students for a rewarding and professional career in the animal industry, with a strong practical basis in animal husbandry, this course also covers the key elements of business administration and animal science.

Level 1 Introduction to Garden Design

One day a week for ten weeks Develop the knowledge and skills to design your own garden, and progress to other courses. No previous qualifications required. Students with a level 2 horticulture qualification can use this course to progress to a level 3 garden design course.

Level 2 (Intermediate) Apprenticeship in Horticulture

Advance your career in a different way. Earn while you learn. The apprenticeship framework consists of a Level 2 Diploma in workbased horticulture as well as key skills and First Aid at Work. You must be educated to GCSE standard, at least 16 years old and employed within the horticulture industry.

There is no tuition to pay if you are aged 16–18 years old, or you are 19 and over and unemployed. To apply or to request a pro spectus ring 08456 122122 or visit ww w.capel.ac.uk Capel Manor College

Crystal Palace Park, The Jubilee Stand, Ledrington Road SE19 2BS | 08456 122122 enquiries@capel.ac.uk | www.capel.ac.uk

Combining qualifications with experience


The Grape & Grain Live Jazz every Sunday 2pm - 8pm Featuring the best live acts on the Jazz scene

Every Monday 8.30pm “The Big Beer Band” A Seventeen piece band playing the best in Swing/Jazz

Saturday 7th April 8.30pm Jack Valentine sings Sinatra

Monday 9th April

“The Big Beer Band Singers Night”

Saturday 26th May Eurovision Party Night

2 Anerley Hill, Crystal Palace SE19 2AA 020 8778 4109 www.thegrapeandgrainse19.co.uk

SBW tea-light holders, sumptious soaps, Jen Rowland lighting, household fragrances hand-made pieces from British craftsmen, unusual & vintage homewares

First Floor Homewares Now Open

4o Westow Street SEI9 3AH O2O 877I 55I7 www.smashbangwallop.co.uk

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WELCOME TO THE BOOK ISSUE editor Andy Pontin regular writers Justine Crow Michael Eyre Jonathan Main Howard Male Hannah McEwen Annette Prosser Manish Utton-Mishra Sue Williams guest writers Debi Alper Jim Bob Phil Earle Alex Fowler Karen McLeod Lloyd Shepherd Mark Steel photography Mark Blundell Louise Haywood-Schiefer Andy Pontin cover Simon Sharville printing The Marstan Press Ltd Contact

Transmission Publications Ltd PO Box 53556, London SE19 2TL

www.thetransmitter.co.uk editor@thetransmitter.co.uk 020 8771 5543 @thetransmitter Disclaimer The views expressed by contributors are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect this magazine's editorial policy or the views of any employee of Transmission Publications Ltd

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hat do you mean we've never done a book issue? I said. But it was true, we had not. And so here it is. And it is stuffed full of local authors who have kindly given up their time to help us publicise their dreary rubbish put together one of the bestest ever issues. Debi Alper (p19), Jim Bob (p20), Lloyd Shepherd (p23), Phil Earle (p24), Sarwat Chadda (p26), and Karen McLeod (p28) have all sat at their respective workstations and pounded out prose exclusively for The Transmitter and we are very deeply touched that they went and did that for us. If you aren't getting anywhere trying to flog your own magnum opus to those faceless know-nothings at the big publishing houses, do not despair. Howard Male is here to show you another way and you can read all about that on page 38. We are celebrating things 'South' with our fashion shoot this issue. We asked the landlady of a big Brixton boozer if she might loll about on the furnishings of a Crystal Palace homewares store wearing dresses, shoes and jewellery from local shops. To our surprise she said yes and you can have a butcher's at the results of that on page 30. Once again I shall never tire of thanking heartily all the local businesses that choose to spend some of their hard earned money on advertising in this little magazine. I would also like to thank endlessly all the lovely people who subscribe and donate bits of cash via our website (www.thetransmitter.co.uk). It is utterly wonderful of you all and you are absolutely the only reason this magazine exists in its current gloriously independent, if rather odd and annoying, state of being. Enjoy!


CONTENTS 20

FEATURES 16

AT HOME WITH WALTER DE LA MARE Justine Crow sniffs out a bit of local literary history

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AUTHOR! AUTHOR! We proudly present a whole bunch of local authors talking about themselves and talking to each other

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PUBLISH AND BE DAMNED Howard finds someone willing to publish his novel. Himself

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OLD FOSSILS RETIREMENT HOME A new comic strip, just for us (and you of course)

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REGULARS 6

LOCAL NEWS AND EVENTS Some of it is true and some of it we make up. You decide!

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FASHION: LOOK BOOK We shot the landlady of the Dogstar in Brixton - arrest us!

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VOX POP What are you reading? Can we take your picture?

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FOOD: CHEESE Manish Utton-Mishra takes us on a cheesy history tour

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WINE: A SPRING WINE LINE-UP Michael Eyre pops to Oddbins and lines up some suspects

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FOOD REVIEW: THE ALMA We double up on a review of a new pub-grub offering

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GARDENING: PALACE PATCH Sue Williams gives her seeds a flying start by pricking out

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BOOKS: THE BOOKSELLER In an issue full of books, Jonathan Main gives us...books

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MUSIC: THERE’S A WORLD OUT THERE! Howard Male listens to music from 'the world'

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EMAIL US: EDITOR@THETRANSMITTER.CO.UK

LOCAL NEWS & EVENTS A FEW THINGS WHAT WE THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT

CRYSTAL PALACE OVERGROUND FESTIVAL It’s back! Festival organisers are in the process of planning this year’s Crystal Palace Overground Festival. The free festival is planned for 13-16 June throughout the Triangle with the main event on Saturday 16 June in Westow Park ‘Anybody who wants to be a part of it – as performer, stallholder, sponsor or just to help out – should get in touch’ said event director Noreen Meehan. The Overground Festival is run by a team of highlymotivated volunteers; all posts are unpaid but the benefits of meeting new people and contributing to a fantastic occasion – and adding a great project to your portfolio – are fantastic. Local people can support the festival by volunteering their time, businesses are sought to be sponsors, and advertisers are needed for the programme. ‘We held last year's event in the wake of the riots and were amazed by the support and camaraderie of the local people,’ said Noreen. ‘Over 4000 people attended and we're planning an even bigger and better event this year. It's going to be great!’ Email info@crystalpalacefestival.org or visit www.crystalpalacefestival.org Facebook Crystal Palace Overground Festival Twitter @SE19festival Photo: James Balston

fairtrade fortnight There were plenty of bums on seats at Guatama Bar at the beginning of March when lots of enthusiastic locals took part in a Fairtrade fashion show, organised by the CPTT (Crystal Palace Transition Town) as part of their Fairtrade Fortnight. The event was designed to encourage us to care about where our clothes come from, and to pick up a few ideas of how to dress a little more thoughtfully at a time when we are all becoming more aware of appalling working conditions for many in the clothing industry. Teens, toddlers, ladies and gents all took part, taking a spin around the ‘catwalk’ in outfits ranging from organic cotton babygros and men’s hoodies to original vintage florals and brand new crisp summer dresses created from Fairtrade fabrics. All the items on show are available locally (or online in some cases), and it really did demonstrate the variety of ethically-sourced products we have at the Palace.

Elias Mohammed

The show also included a special guest, Elias Mohammed, a cocoagrower from Ghana, who spoke about his experiences working with Kuapa Kokoo, a fair and democratic organisation. We all learnt a bit more about the origins of our chocolate and how, by understanding a bit more about how the industry works, we really can make a difference to people’s lives by simply going for chocolate with a Fairtrade label. Elias’ own grandchildren go to a school which depends on the Kuapa education team for its improvements; listening to him speak and seeing photographs illustrating the difference it’s possible to make was heartwarming. CPTT have a splendid year ahead of them. Working closely already with James Dixon and Rockmount Schools (introducing the children to Fairtrade ingredients, making smoothies and exploring local shops), they intend to bring new ones into the project soon: if you’re an interested parent or governor, do get in touch with them to discuss forthcoming events. www.crystalpalacetransition.org.uk

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OLYMPIC TORCH Well it just wouldn’t be right, would it, if the Olympic torch wasn't taken for a run round the track at the Crystal Palace National Sports Centre, a venue remembered by those over 40 as – once upon a time – a beloved home of worldclass athletics. On Monday 23 July, the torch will be here in all its glory, and if you’re lucky you might even get to see our very own Dafydd Jones, serial charity campaigner, holding aloft the symbol of peace, unity and friendship. ‘I’m really honoured and humbled’ said Dafydd, ‘to be carrying the torch near to my home … Beating Bowel Cancer is a great charity and being able to fly the flag for the charity as well as its amazing supporters, means the world to me’. Find a spot on the route (more details in our next issue) and cheer him on.

DIGGERLAND ALERT! Our younger Transmitter readers will be thrilled to find that along with the classic and modern cars racing noisily around Crystal Palace Park, Diggerland will be making their debut at Motorsport at the Palace on Saturday 26 and Sunday 27 May. For those not in-the-know, Diggerland gives children (ok, mums and dads too) the opportunity to get behind the controls of some heavyduty construction equipment and play Bob the Builder. This will be the third successive year for the motor event, which has proved to be a popular day out wandering through the hundreds of supercars and rare classic vehicles on show. Adults £10 per day. Children under 16 free (if accompanied by an adult) More information at: www.motorsportatthepalace.co.uk

Photo: Capoeira Ceara

MORE DIGGING! Volunteers braved a rainy March Saturday to take part in their own ‘big dig’ in Westow Park. The Big Dig is a volunteering event organised by Capital Growth to encourage Londoners to get their hands dirty at a local community growing space. To members of the Crystal Palace Transition Town (CPTT) and Friends of Westow Park, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to prepare soil in the new Edible Garden for planting apple and pear trees. The following week saw the Friends of Beulah Heights joining in, bringing in timber to help make raised beds. At the same time, outside Sainsbury’s, seeds were being swapped and given away. Local food writer, Rachel de Thample said: ‘Gardeners – both experienced and those who have never done any gardening before – have taken thousands of free seeds today. We're going to follow their progress too, as people are posting photos of what they're growing on our facebook page.’ The next Westow Park event is a Spring Work Day planting wild flowers on 15 April (10am-4pm). All are welcome. Go get your hands dirty! www.capitalgrowth.org www.crystalpalacetransition.org.uk www.friendsofwestowpark.com

Photo: Stasia Simpson

big dance carnival Cultural Olympiad celebrations here we come! If you’re not that bothered about the sportos but like a bit of a jiggle, this could be your Olympic event. On 22 July at Crystal Palace Park there’s going to be a huge Brazilian samba parade (a nod to our adopted Brazilian national team who are currently residing there), followed by a programme of dance performances and open workshops at the concert bowl. And you can join in! Whether you want to samba or flamenco, bust out some Bollywood or hip hop moves, this is your chance to boogie. The lip-smackingly exciting event finale will be a Zumba world record for which 3000 participants are needed. It’s all in aid of charity, so for a small donation to Harris Hospiscare you, your family and friends could be part of the record attempt. Sounds fun, doesn’t it? Sign up at www.harrishospiscare. org.uk/fundraising/events/zumbaworld-record-attempt For more details contact christine. davis@harrishospiscare.org.uk or kiaran.hall@mytimeactive.co.uk For all Big Dance events check out www.bigdance2012.com

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BEAUTY AND THE BEAST Sydenham High School's recent production of Beauty and the Beast went down a storm, with confident acting performances, great choreography and triumphant singing from all the girls. The boring school hall was used ingeniously to represent a variety of landscapes, and the whole cast, orchestra and technical team produced an evening of high energy and inspired imagination. Stephen Langridge, well-known opera director this time sitting in the audience rather than the wings, loved the performance saying: 'It was a terrific - and often very moving - show.'

A TolkIen book for 3 grand A signed copy of The Adventures of Tom Bombadil went under the hammer for a trifling £3,200 recently in West Norwood. The George Allen & Unwin 1962 hardback copy was sold in Rosebery's Quarterly Fine Art Auction in March. Apparently, lots more local people (Transmitter readers, natch) are turning up and bidding these days. Star of the show was a pair of Regency ormolu and marble cache pots which went for £27,000. Another interesting lot was a pair of Charles and Ray Eames design lounge chairs and matching ottomans (pictured below), retailed by Herman Miller, which were sold for £4,400.

He also felt the story was an excellent one to choose: 'Beauty and the Beast is the story of a young woman unafraid of doing things differently, thinking for herself, looking beneath the surface reality of the world – and seeing that real beauty lies within. A refreshing perspective in an image obsessed age, and an appropriate starting place for Sydenham High School’s 125th year celebrations,' he enthused. Photos © Keith Sheriff www.shotbythesheriff.com

Photo © Studio AKA

AND THE BAFTA GOES TO .. You’ll remember from our film issue in February that local animator, Grant Orchard, had been catapulted into the glamorous world of awards ceremonies and press interviews after his nomination for both a BAFTA and Academy Award for his short animation A Morning Stroll. Congratulations to Grant for such an achievement and for winning the coveted BAFTA. The Oscar remained elusive (ah, so close!) but, despite the disappointment, Grant enjoyed the temporary madness that surrounds nominees. ‘We were being security checked alongside Emma Stone and Antonio Banderas’ he said, and likened the route to the red carpet as ‘a really glamorous IKEA checkout queue’. Returning home he told us: ‘The last month has been amazing, stimulating, stupefying, but mostly exhausting. It's been great getting back to Crystal Palace for a break'. You can download A Morning Stroll (produced by Studio AKA) on iTunes (£1.49)

© Studio AKA

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LOCAL NEWS & EVENTS

WEDDING BELLES

HOLLYWOOD comes to PARK

TRANSMITTER TRANSMITTING

At the beginning of March some plucky local suppliers of wedding fare decided to get together under one roof (in this case the upstairs function rooms of The Sparrowhawk pub – a nice venue for engagement parties, girls), offer a free glass of bubbly and open the doors to those wanting to discuss options for The Big Day.

Top notch film director Ron Howard brought a bit of Hollywood sparkle to a very sunny Crystal Palace Park.

How cool is this, South Londoners? To celebrate the historic switch from analogue to digital TV, our beloved Crystal Palace Tower is going to be the centre of attention at a spectacular lightshow taking place just after 9pm on Wednesday 18 April. Using more than 200,000 watts of energy-efficient lighting – the same wattage used to light the Eiffel Tower – the event will be a colourful explosion of light with a beam shooting up the transmitter and radiating out across London as its grand finale. Whoop whoop as one might say on Twitter.

Brides-to-be had the opportunity to talk to Allbone and Trimit about bespoke wedding dresses, to Suzi Stow Designs (above left) about a fascinator to complement THE frock, and La Belle Jolie was there to advise on vintage hair and makeup should that be your chosen look. Grooms-to-be weren’t left out, getting some great style tips from Sartoria Lab and discussing their perfect suit (very important, gents!) from bespoke tailor Tallentire Suits. Maison Mari tantalised all with very tempting wedding cakes (above right), and Good Taste Food had created a magnificent savoury cake made of … yes, you guessed it, cheese! Peonybrides were there demonstrating their photography packages, and Nefra Dance was on hand to advise on that all-important spin around the disco floor. Almost makes you want to tie the knot even if you weren’t thinking about it … For more information on all the contributors you can tweet @weddingsalonuk

Ron was shooting the F1 racing drama Rush, which focuses on the 1970s rivalry between Austrian F1 driver Niki Lauda (Daniel Brühl) and British driver James Hunt (Chris Hemsworth - aka Thor). Star struck bystanders could snap Hemsworth decked out in full 70's style racing gear casually strolling down the park steps on lunch breaks and popping open champagne bottles in the race victory scene. Those were the days when men were men and Hunt 'The Shunt' would regularly jump into his F1 car with a hangover after a night on the lash and race around more in the manner of fairground bumper cars than today's safety-conscious wimps like Lewis Hamilton. In contrast to the modern approach to the sport, Hunt prepared for the Tokyo battle with Lauda for the title of F1 World Champion in 1976 by spending two weeks on a roundthe-clock alcohol, cannabis and cocaine binge with his friend and motorcycle champ Barry Sheene. It is not, however, such a well known fact that Hunt also had a Crystal Palace connection. His sports promotion company was based at Foresters Hall in Westow Street and I was told by the owners of Alistairs cafe that that shortly before his untimely death of a heart attack he had breakfast there. LOL

Talking of which, if you follow them @switchovernight, you can enter a competition to trip the light fantastic on a helicopter flight during the show. Chris Evans will be hosting a special VIP event, with a guest appearance by the lovely Sir David Attenborough, this year celebrating his 60th year in broadcasting. For all you technology geeks there are plenty of thrilling facts and figures about the show and the transmitter itself at www.facebook.com/ switchovernight

westow street partIES Thursday 3 May will be a party night on Westow street as Smash Bang Wallop and Bookseller Crow throw simultaneous boozy musical bashes to celebrate birthdays and book launches. You will be able to stagger between the two all night! See what's on (p53) for details.

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RIDER ALERT! The old SG Smith showroom at the top of Anerley Hill – one-time home to the Bigger Picture Gallery – has been reborn as Cadence Performance, and looks like it could be a rouleurs’ cycling paradise. Aimed at those who do a bit more than wobble about dangerously on a Boris Bike, the huge space houses a riders’ café stop, bike-fitting, cycle coaching and sports physiotherapy amongst other services. State-ofthe-art turbo training sessions (£10 per hour) offer the chance to have a go at classic climbs like Alpe d’Huez – on your own bike – and even get your name on their polka dot jersey leader wall (go on then, if you think you’re hard enough). The café will be open from 7am Saturdays and Sundays, so you can drop by before or after your weekend ride for cake and (good) coffee. With cycling dvds whirring away up on the TV screen and geeky bike gadgets to drool over too, you really might believe it’s cycling heaven. www.cadenceperformance.com

A NEW NEST By the time you read this, Blackbird Bakery may well be chirruping away happily in their new abode in Westow Street (right opposite Sainsbury’s). Although they’re choked up to be leaving their cosy little spot next to the White Hart, when the opportunity arose to offer up their delicious baked goods to more sit-down customers (especially at the increasingly busy weekends), it was hard to say no. Ashley at the bakery tells us: ‘It’s been a heartbreaking decision as the [old] shop is so beautiful, but we feel truly positive that the new one will have just as much Blackbird character’. And don’t panic, regulars, there won’t be a huge change to the menu, just more comfort to enjoy it in. And highchairs. And baby-changing facilities. And wi-fi. Ye olde bakery shoppe is hopping its way into the 21st century. 59 Westow Street Crystal Palace

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TRADING PLACES HAPPY BIRTHDAY VINTAGEHART Ladies in curlers in the pub? Yes you heard it right, and what a fun night of frolics it was! To celebrate the shop’s 5th birthday, Dawn and Annette hosted a party at a tarted-up White Hart, inviting Renee from new local vintage hair & beauty salon La Belle Jolie to meet Vintagehart friends and customers and introduce them to the joys of the heated roller. Yes, it was a hoot. Along with the mini-makeovers, there was heaps of hat chat, plenty of changing-room action and even a chance to rest awhile and watch the delightful Umbrellas of Cherbourg up on the big screen. The pub was buzzing, the guests were glamorous ... a vintage night in Crystal Palace. Hot on the heels of the celebrations came the news that our very own shop in the pub had been shortlisted as one of only 10 nominees for the UK Shopping Venue of the Year in the Qype Business Awards (taking place as this issue goes to press). ‘Amazed, but thrilled!’ was the response from the Vintagehart girls, who are always keen to fly the flag for the Triangle and hope the publicity will bring lots of new shoppers to the area.


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Handwoven from soft recycled cotton and machine washable, our rugs come in many beautiful colours and a range of styles and sizes. We also stock exquisite encaustic floor tiles, both new and reclaimed, in a variety of designs. Alhambra Home & Garden 148 Kirkdale London SE26 4BB Tel. 020-3417 6385 www.alhambrahome.co.uk www.alhambratiles.co.uk

The White Hart, 96 Church Road, Crystal Palace, SE19 2EZ

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SAVE OUR LIBRARY: IT’S NOW OR NEVER Lambeth and Croydon Councils are RIGHT NOW consulting the community on the future of the Upper Norwood Joint Library. If you value your library and want to see it continue to remain independent and jointly funded by the two councils, the Upper Norwood Library Campaign is urging us all to take part in these public consultations (which will close in the last week of April) and make our views known.

WHAT YOU CAN DO • • •

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Sign the petition: online or at the campaign stall outside Sainsbury’s (on Saturdays) or in shops on the Triangle Join the library and use it – don’t wait till it’s too late! Sign up to Facebook: Save Upper Norwood Library (Crystal Palace) from closure Follow the campaign on Twitter: @SaveUNlibrary Visit the campaign website for more info: www.unlc.org.uk

NEED A BIT OF BACKGROUND? Alex Fowler on the library’s history and its place in our community For nearly 112 years, the Upper Norwood Joint Library has been at the heart of the Crystal Palace community. Opened in 1900 as a joint venue between Lambeth and Croydon Councils, it is unique amongst Britain’s public libraries as the only independent jointlyfunded library. Having always had its own joint committee, there is a strong sense of it not only serving the community but also belonging to it. However, the very thing that makes it unique is also threatening its very existence. The library has historically been the cause of much debate and contention between the two councils, who in turn have often found themselves at odds with the public. The current problems can be traced back to the mid-1980s when the two councils struggled to meet the financial obligations of the Joint Library Agreement. Now, with Croydon Council planning to withdraw funding from the library and Lambeth Council seemingly reluctant to take full responsibility, the threat of closure is more serious than ever.


To some the idea of a library may seem a little old-fashioned: with sales of e-books increasing and books available cheaply online, the point of a traditional library can be hard to see. But to so many people, Upper Norwood Library is so much more. As well as housing a huge collection of books, including important records of the Crystal Palace itself, the library acts as a focal point for the community. It’s a meeting place for groups like 3 Rs Reading & Writing, a chance for adults of all ages to get together and discuss books and writing projects. Clubs such as these can be invaluable to certain members of our society: for pensioners they can be a great place to meet new people with similar interests and there are many events for children and families. Inexpensive or free events such as Waggle & Hum (for under 2s) and ABC Club (for 2-4yr olds) are great for families who do not have a lot of money and who want their children to learn and interact in a safe, friendly environment. At a time when nearly a fifth of all school leavers are illiterate, surely young children need to be given every chance to engage with books as early and as often as possible?

The Upper Norwood Library Campaign has been working tirelessly for years and campaigners have recently been out on the streets drumming up support. People of all ages have been getting involved, even 6-year-old Milly Maker wrote a letter to Croydon Council saying ‘Dear Croydon Council, please oh please do not shut down the library in Crystal Palace.’ There has also been more direct action from some campaigners, with a group of protesters recently interrupting a Croydon Council meeting. Children’s author and illustrator Alex Milway is keen to see the library stay: ‘The Library needs saving because it is a wonderful centre for the area and it would be sorely missed if it vanished. There are terribly few public buildings in Crystal Palace, and the library welcomes everyone, from babies to pensioners. And I’ve not even mentioned what a terrific knowledge resource it is. With computers and internet access, as well as its vast array of books and the experienced librarians, the area would lose a lot more than jobs if the library closed.’

IT'S GOOD FOR BUSINESS TOO Annette Prosser from local business Vintagehart stresses the importance of this vital resource The library is also a very important part of the fabric of our high street. We are lucky in Crystal Palace to have what other parts of London and the UK envy: a high street (the Triangle) of useful shops and amenities. It is a high street appreciated by those who live here and admired by those who don’t. Our library is an example of what government advisor Mary Portas recently referred to as a ‘magnet’ on the high street, helping to draw people in to use the facilities and spend money in the neighbouring shops. The loss of our library would have an impact not only from an educational perspective, but from an economic one too: diminishing what our high street can offer will in turn diminish its number of visitors, creating a poorer environment all round. Businesses throughout the Triangle support the Upper Norwood Joint Library, and feel strongly that this vital dynamic in Crystal Palace’s well-being must be preserved.

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LOCAL SPORT

MARK STEEL SWINGS THE BAT FOR A LOCAL CRICKET CLUB AND WE SERVE YOU A SUGGESTION FOR TENNIS.

anyone for tennis? Want to start playing tennis or would just like to brush up on your skills after a long break? Sydenham Tennis, Squash and Croquet Club is just down the road and a perfect place to start or get back into things. It's also a geat way to meet new people if you have just moved to the area - it could be the start of a whole new social life.

anyone for cricket?

T

his summer kids of Crystal Palace have an opportunity to enjoy sport that far surpasses watching Euro 2012, and leaves the Olympics embarrassingly way behind. They have the chance to play cricket. The most common complaint made about cricket is that ‘it’s pointless’. To which the correct reply is ‘OF COURSE it is, that’s the whole point of it’. What sort of sport has a ‘point’, unless you want to play Premier League Tidying, on the grounds that even if you lose you’ve got your dusting done. So every weekend, from May to September, anyone who walks past South Norwood Lake will see people pointlessly joyously playing, with techniques that won’t match international standard, but the squeals and sighs, the cheers and sulks will. Because as anyone who has played the game knows, even if you’re an astronaut or in the SAS, the most exhilarating moment of your week will be when you took a catch, or bowled someone out or hit the ball hard enough to make other people run after it. That’s why this odd ritual bemuses passers-by, as they walk their dogs or sunbathe by the boatyard, briefly asking themselves ‘why’, before accepting they might as well ask

what there was before the universe started. But for those taking part there’s the wonderful combination of friendly rivalry, so you can be determined to ruin the other team’s day, with a decorum that insists you clap the opposition every five minutes and shake their hand at least twice after the game. And cricket, more than any sport brings together a magnificently diverse array of characters. White middle aged accountants bat alongside teenage Muslims, who tell them supportively ‘Dat one sick cover drive u MASH im up’. The Norwood Exiles club that plays at the lake regularly consists of players from Jamaica, England, Australia, Bangladesh, Afghanistan, India, Pakistan, and Northerners. This year we’ll be holding cricket sessions for kids aged 7 to 12, of all genders and standards, every Tuesday from 1 May onwards between 5.30 and 7 in the evening, for two pounds a time. So if you’re a kid and can shake a hand, come along to experience the overwhelming joy of swinging a bat and aiming a ball, and spend the rest of the week smiling, at your glorious moments of pointlessness. MARK STEEL Contact: Mark Arthur 07946 130461

For beginners, the club offers sixweek blocks of tennis lessons for adults where you can learn basic technique, meet players of a similar standard (ie rubbish) and have some fun playing doubles. They are also holding a free open day on Bank Holiday Monday 7 May from 11am to 2pm. All ages and abilities are welcome, just turn up on the day. You are encouraged to bring friends and family and try your hand at tennis, squash, racketball or croquet. Coaches are available to offer tips and advice, all equipment will be provided or feel free to bring your own racquet (it's at the back of the cupboard, behind the hoover). And for those who decide to sign up on the day there is a 20% discount on membership fees. Just quote The Transmitter to qualify. The six-week blocks of beginners tennis for adults are held on Wednesday evenings, 7-8pm and Sunday afternoons, 4-5pm and costs £20. New courses start on 25 and 28 April. If you would like to find out more about the club or you would like to arrange an informal visit, contact: www.sltcc.co.uk info@sltcc.co.uk Tel: 020 8778 4217

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At Home With Walter De La Mare ANERLEY MAY SEEM AN UNLIKELY SPOT FOR LITERARY GENIUS, BUT NOT SO SAYS JUSTINE CROW

DO NOT USE

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ehind the till at the bookshop there is a news clipping that, you won’t be surprised to learn, has been there several years. Dated 1922 it is actually cribbed from a diary entry dated a year earlier by Siegfried Sassoon. He writes: ‘Went to Anerley and spent five and half hours with Walter de la Mare and his delightful family…’ I know what you are thinking: Sassoon and Anerley are two words you would not expect to find on the same page. But at the time it is arguable that de la Mare was the more famous and therefore less likely to be found in those uncelebrated parts. Born 1873 in Charlton, known as Jack because he hated Walter, he was brought up in Forest Hill. An unremarkable schoolboy who scraped a place at St Paul’s Cathedral School, his endof-term reports were, according to his biographer Theresa Whistler, ‘seldom complimentary, except about conduct.’ Hah, why is it that historically genius is so often missed by those engaged to teach?

Homesick and innocent, he did not

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possess the ‘upper-class virtue of leadership’ and eventually found himself working at the AngloAmerican Oil Company with a certain Mr Rockefeller for a boss. There, spellbound by the likes of Ruskin and Robert Louis Stevenson, he educated himself into adulthood whilst toiling in the tedium of the city. Outside of the day job he became a ‘flamboyant young man’ who wrote little farces and fell in love with a leading lady – Elfie Ingpen of the Esperanza Amateur Dramatics club, ten years his senior. Following the customary tortured path of the impoverished poet, they moved to humble Mackenzie Road, Beckenham – no Citroen showroom next door in those days – got chucked out and still very hard up, rented a ‘horrible little flat’ in Samos Road in 1906. This road lies within a small parcel of Victorian and Edwardian suburban serenity just off the mighty A213, sandwiched between the bustle and dust of South Norwood and Penge. The gnarled magnolia and fruit trees – like rascally old codgers that appear to confound the drowsy garden boundaries and pavements to this day – would have been familiar to him. The evidence is found in Peacock Pie: A book of rhymes, published with illustrations by one Heath Robinson, with the shimmering The Little Green Orchard. By the time he wrote it, he had moved to a more ‘pleasant house’ in parallel Worbeck Road at the foot of the hill. Rather brilliantly, there, according to Whistler, they had a bountiful apple tree in their garden that the family fondly named Tom Fifty Puddings. A modern fellow despite desperate financial circumstances and arduous work, (he wrote: ‘Oil is just

as oily – oilier and oilier’) he was unusually domesticated and could change a nappy and bake a cake, and his attitude to fatherhood was bohemian with his four children encouraged to be creative. Yet somehow his exquisite poetic output was prodigious. Finally his talent was recognised and after 18 years he left his job and moved to nearby Thornsett Road, then quaint and trackless, with Paxton’s ingenuity gleaming above. With Jack working for Heinemann and The Listeners published to rising acclaim, weekend parties at number 14 included an astonishing circle of writers such as his great friend the poet Edward Thomas, Sassoon of course, J B Priestley; he knew Belloc, Hardy, Katherine Mansfield, John Cowper Powys and D H Lawrence. He even took the bravely controversial critic of W B Yeats for a stroll up to the dear old Palace – yes, the astonishing and prolific Storm Jameson herself actually went up Anerley Hill. Now there’s a thought to accompany you when you pop into Tesco Express.


A Literary School Lunch I

Though his life was complicated by his increasing fame, he always returned to his modest home. Charmingly, the story goes he ran upstairs to get a better view of the zeppelins over Croydon during WW1. However, in 1924, somewhat incredibly in retrospect, he was served notice to quit and the lowly leafy suburban corner lost its voice. After he left London, he concentrated on producing short stories, plays and essays and less poetry. I prefer to think this was no coincidence. But the very existence of a casually penned limerick by another close friend and visitor Rupert Brooke – a man not usually commemorated for frivolity, it is safe to say – that begins ‘There was once a metrist of Anerley, Whose neighbours were mundane but mannerly…’ is testament that for nearly twenty years, thanks to a romantic South London boy who loathed his own name, SE20 was an unlikely though veritable literary salon.

Justine Crow

t’s usually pretty fun when your teacher tells you that an alumnus is coming to talk to the class: former pupils bring a change of pace to the day and they’ve generally got something interesting to say. But imagine the excitement when Sophie McKenzie, author of the best-selling Girl, Missing series, recently paid a visit to Sydenham High School, only to find that a tenacious librarian had unearthed a story Sophie wrote for the school magazine when she was just six years old, and sitting, presumably, at the same school desks under the same strip lighting. The girls were delighted as she read the story out to them.

The author also recounted how a teacher had once stopped her reading out an essay she had written because it was too gruesome, but that her friends had asked her to carry on after the lesson was over. It was at this moment, she explained, that she realised she could write what people wanted to read. After signing books and answering questions from the young audience, Sophie hosted a lunch for eight lucky prizewinners from years 5, 6, 7 and 8. The girls had won a place at the table by submitting the most imaginative letters explaining why they should be invited to the author’s lunch. Amongst the winners was an entry that had created a crime scene in her 3D letter and another which hinted at a mysterious message from Roald Dahl and Enid Blyton.

Charlotte Reisser-Weston, one of Sophie’s selected guests, felt she gathered lots of practical tips from the experience: ‘Sophie helped me to understand that when you are writing a novel, you benefit from writing it in the first person because you really start to feel as though you are that character. She always tries to make her endings unpredictable but realistic. She also told us that in Girl, Missing, she bases the character Shelby on herself when she was a teenager. I really enjoyed meeting her and I felt that her advice will help me in the future’. Over lunch the girls discussed how the characters they loved from Girl, Missing and Sister, Missing would have aged and changed by the third book in the series which comes out later this year – cue squeals of joy. The older girls enjoyed talking about Sophie’s latest book too: Falling Fast is the first in a new series exploring the idea of romantic love and the realities of teenage relationships. Falling Fast by Sophie McKenzie (Simon & Schuster) £6.99

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A shop full of books that you might want to read

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THE F WORD

DEBI ALPER GIVES A PERSONAL VIEW OF LOCAL WRITER AND FEMINIST ICON FROM HER YOUTH ZOE FAIRBAIRNS

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he Seventies was my decade. Together with my contemporaries I rode the feminist wave, embracing sisterhood with gusto, unshakeable in our belief that we were forging a brighter future for women everywhere. We cropped our hair, burned our bras, and donned baggy dungarees for our marches and our unique (and often humorous) take on direct action. Looking back now, I can see that books played a central role in our developing consciousness. Certain volumes assumed the status of icons and were on the shelf of every woman I knew. Our Bodies Ourselves was our bible, its wellthumbed pages testament to our determination to wrest control over our health and well-being. On the fiction front, we all read The Women’s Room by Marilyn French, and The Color Purple by Alice Walker. Here in the UK, it was a British writer who used her written words to reflect the experiences that were so familiar to us. I can’t remember anyone who didn’t relate to the issues and characters in Zoe Fairbairns’ Benefits. Fast forward three decades. I was arranging a local authors’ event at The Bookseller Crow. Pooling resources with Jon and Justine, we came up with an impressively long list of well-known authors but one name stood out: Zoe Fairbairns, I was told, not only lived locally but was a regular visitor to the Crow. The thought of meeting my icon after all these years took my breath away.

Since that first meeting, I have met Zoe many more times. She is still writing novels, articles, short stories, plays and poetry, and is also a highly respected creative writing teacher. Zoe’s latest book is a guide to writing short stories. Her regular attendance at events at the Crow, in particular the ones to launch the award-winning anthologies from the East Dulwich Writers’ Group, demonstrates her enthusiasm for new writing and her determination to encourage and support writers. As for me, I’m no longer intimidated; Zoe is far too warm and generous for that to be possible. But I will always be filled with respect for an author whose fictional world defined and motivated an entire generation of women. Debi Alper

As a direct result of joining East Dulwich Writers' Group, Debi Alper has completed six novels, two of which have been published by Orion. She now writes full time and works as a freelance editor and creative writing tutor. In addition to Benefits Zoe Fairbairns has written five other novels and many short stories including the collection How Do You Pronounce Nulliparous? Her most recent book is Write Short Stories and Get Them Published (Teach Yourself Hodder £9.99).

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A Musician Who’s Written A Book

Photo: Louise Ha

ywood-Schiefer

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The last time we saw this man it was November 2011 and he was on stage at the Brixton Academy performing as Carter USM, being very, very rude about Boris Johnson. All around him bald men in their 40s took their shirts off and crowdsurfed the stage and the night still holds the record for most number of pints drunk in a single evening. Most of the time these days, as JIM BOB explains below, he aspires to a quieter life, filling his novels with the wit and wordplay long familiar to fans of his songs.

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o be recognised as a serial killer you have to murder three or more people. I think it’s the same for authors and books. You need to write at least three before you can start calling yourself an author. It’s more for musicians who write books, four books or five, and even then you’re going to have to win the Booker Prize or something before people stop referring to you as Paul McCartney from the Beatles and you can stop taking your guitar along to book readings. My second novel is out on 10 May and I’m currently writing a third. I’ve published a 12,000-word short story and an autobiography – but that was about my band so it doesn’t count, and the short story came as part of an album of music, so that’s cheating. I’m still a musician who’s written a book. I’m going on tour soon. I’ll be playing songs and reading from

my new book. I have no real idea what people are buying tickets to hear: whether they’ve paid to see an author or a singer. I overcompensate for this by giving them neither and veering towards stand-up comedy. Sometimes during the reading bits I think I can see people checking the time on their phones. I read way too quickly, rushing to the end so I can pick up my safety blanket and play Sheriff Fatman. One day somebody will shout, ‘Stop playing all the old songs! Read some more!’ I’ll have to come back on for an encore and read something from my first book. There were no figures on Wikipedia for how many murders a musician who writes a book and then decides to embark on a further change of career as a serial killer needs to commit. I guess I’m going to have to keep killing until somebody tells me to stop. Jim Bob Driving Jarvis Ham by Jim Bob (The Friday Project) £12.99

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22 Photo: Louise Haywood-Schiefer

Station To Station


The English Monster is a hugely entertaining historical crime novel set largely in Wapping in the early 1800s. It’s a dark tale of Regency murders, Restoration pirates and the vicious secret at the heart of England’s past. Here author LLOYD SHEPHERD reveals how, whilst researching the book, a passionate interest in the history of our local railways was born.

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he East London Line from Crystal Palace is, by common consent, a wonderful thing. Not the least of its wonders is Crystal Palace station itself. This Victorian slice of raging brickwork is as solid as a hill and as soaring as a cathedral. It is a monument to a particular kind of Victorian construction, the kind that crosses valleys and tames mountains, and it connects to another type of Victorian project altogether, one which crosses rivers and tames water. The reason I started using the line, as a Herne Hill resident, was where it took me. I was researching my first book, The English Monster, parts of which are set in Wapping in 1811. So I would take the bus up to Crystal Palace, walk into that cathedral of glass and brick and then take the train journey over to Wapping. That journey is itself a sort of story, a set of connections between two engineering narratives via a railway line rich in the echoes of London’s mercantile past. Crystal Palace to Wapping: hillside to tunnel; 75 feet in the air to 75 feet below the ground; a marvel of brickwork and glass (Crystal Palace station was famous for decades for the canopy over its platforms), joined to a claustrophobic circular hole in the ground; the network link between two of the greatest Victorian engineering brands. Crystal Palace is forever associated

with Joseph Paxton – although he didn’t build the railway station, which opened in 1854, the same year Paxton’s palace re-opened to the public on its new site. Wapping Station is at the northern end of the Thames Tunnel, the project begun by Marc Brunel in 1825 and completed by his son Isambard Kingdom in 1843. The stations stand at either end of a line which drops through 150 feet and 150 years of mercantile history, that great swathe of southeast London which tells its own tale of change. While writing The English Monster I became obsessed with London’s forgotten docks. Wapping had been the site of the London Dock, of which all that remains is the eastern Shadwell basin, a few channels and some massive masonry and ironwork. But the ELL runs through another area which was once more water than land: the Surrey dock system, built around the old Howland Wet Dock (now the Greenland Dock) and for almost 150 years a dirty, dangerous, disreputable and (in my dreams, at least) wondrous region which has now gone forever, replaced by repetitive housing and banal retail parks. But the memory of that past is transmitted down the railway line, from Wapping to Crystal Palace, from 75 feet above to 75 feet below, from Paxton to Brunel, and all down the side of Millwall Football Club, Surrey Quays, Rotherhithe and the river. Lloyd Shepherd The English Monster by Lloyd Shepherd (Simon and Schuster) £12.99

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Reality Reads For Teens Photo

: Lou

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In the space of eighteen months PHIL EARLE has established himself as one of the country’s most exciting new writers for young adults. Between them his two novels, Being Billy and Saving Daisy, have been nominated for eleven awards including the prestigious Carnegie Medal. Much of his inspiration comes from everyday life here in South London, as he describes below.

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t was 1999 when I first visited the Triangle, green from spending my first 23 years on the mean streets of Hull. I came to London for the noblest of reasons – to follow the one girl who had shown the slightest interest in me (thankfully, she still does) – and was fresh from drama therapy training, ready to make a difference … I did mention I was green, didn’t I? A job came up on Chalfont Road, near Selhurst Park, at a therapeutic community, caring for young adults who had been through traumatic times. In my naïve head, it was perfect. It turned out to be anything but. It wasn’t the kids’ fault. They’d experienced things none of us should ever face, violence that would even make Stallone run for the (Beverly) hills. But it was too much for me. I couldn’t cope with it. Within six months I had to stop. These kids couldn’t escape from their lives, but I could. So I ran, guilt following me. After a change of career (bookselling then publishing), I found myself back in SE19, living a mile from Chalfont Road, and whilst on a Sainsbury’s jaunt, I walked straight into one of the kids I’d ran from. He stared at me like he knew me but didn’t know why. He looked identical: the only difference was the three kids he had in tow. I

didn’t say anything to him, he’d had hundreds of carers in his life, so why would he remember me? I was just chuffed to see him surviving. That encounter reminded me of those young people and their incredible resilience. They had an ability to bounce back from events that would floor many of us for good. I remembered a lad who spent his evenings high on petrol fumes siphoned from my tank: but that same lad was encyclopedic about John Lennon and left us gobsmacked one night with his guitar skills. There was another, who owned a busted-up mobile phone. We all knew it was broken, but still listened as he ‘arranged’ gigs to showcase his DJ-ing skills. Homemade, mis-spelt tattoos were scratched all over his body, but had a heart none of us could match. The therapeutic community has been levelled now to make way for flats. I can’t imagine the neighbours were disappointed to see the residents leave, but I feel I owe them a lot. Without them to inspire me I wouldn’t have written a word: I wouldn’t have realised that you don’t have to create an alternative Potter-esque world to entertain young readers. Thanks to them I realised that there’s brilliant drama surrounding us, every day. Even in the Palace. Especially in the Palace. Phil Earle Being Billy and Saving Daisy (Puffin) both £6.99

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Mowgli and me by Sarwat Chadda

The very first page of Sarwat Chadda’s first book Devil’s Kiss is set in Crystal Palace Park and once read you would hesitate to go there after dark. His second novel for young adults Dark Goddess continued the story of Billi Sangreal the only female member of the Knights Templar and her battle against the forces of evil. Here he introduces his new kick-ass character Ash Mistry.

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love Mowgli. Who doesn’t? I think it was in the early 1970s when my dad took me to see it in the cinema after a hard afternoon at the dentist. To be honest I think he wanted to see it and I was a convenient excuse but, hey, I was not complaining. Mowgli. Who wouldn’t want to be him? Free in the wild, wolf brothers, the best friend in the world – Baloo the bear – and so bad ass he takes out the tiger, Shere Khan. A small, skinny Asian kid being a hero. As a small Asian kid myself that was some revelation. We could be heroes too. I think that was the moment my new book, Ash Mistry and the Savage Fortress, first came to life. It took a while, almost thirty years, but with Ash I’ve created my version of Mowgli, the little Asian kid who gets to be the hero and totally, utterly, BAD ASS. The book is set in India and you couldn’t ask for a better ‘fantasy’

world. Its castles are built for elephants. It has the highest mountain range in the world and the desert cities of Rajasthan could come straight out of The Arabian Nights. Much of western fantasy has its roots in Beowulf, The Classical World and Tolkien, so the setting risks becoming familiar, ironically unfantastic as we come to expect the same old monsters and elves and goblins and such like. Not so with India. The myths of the Ramayana and the Mahabharata aren’t that well known to the Western audience, which is a crying shame. I’d put Arjuna against Achilles any day of the week and there isn’t a god nor demon in Norse mythology the black goddess, Kali, couldn’t take on with four of her six arms tied behind her back. Heroes are heroes, wherever they come from. They are the ones who go that extra mile, make the sacrifice and face the things the rest of us can’t. They can be girls from

Kansas, boys from Privet Drive and aliens from the planet Krypton. I feel incredibly excited about bringing a new one from India. Ash Mistry and the Savage Fortress by Sarwat Chadda (HarperCollins) £6.99


Sydenham High Inspection Success phere

Teachers who know pupils extremely well, creating a stimulating atmos A curriculum that enables pupils

to be intellectually fulfilled

Great teachers attitudes to Pupils who are eager, aspirational learners who develop excellent learning... who are welcoming, polite and friendly.

Great girls Parents who are extremely happy with their children’s progress and the worthwhile attitudes the school pro motes.

Happy parents To find out more about our school, visit our website. To really get to know us please come and visit. Call our admissions team who will be happy to help 020 8557 7004. www.sydenhamhighschool.gdst.net The full Inspection report is available at www.isi.net


The Author’s Voice, Singing And Baked Beans KAREN MCLEOD, WRITER-IN-RESIDENCE AT THE BOOKSELLER CROW, MEETS LOCAL BEST-SELLING AUTHOR AMANDA BROOKFIELD TO TALK ABOUT... WELL, WRITING

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efore we meet I asked Amanda to read through the following A L Kennedy quote so we can discuss it: ‘Although we often use the language of the spoken word to describe its written counterpart – tone, rhythm, melody, musicality … very little attention is given to the reality of voice in writers’ lives. Yet there are clear connections between an individual’s voice on the page, the voice in which they carry on their own interior narratives and voice with which they address the world. Improve someone’s mastery of one voice and the others also strengthen. Undermine, or muffle one and the others will also suffer.’ We are having a soft drink in The Alma on the first warm afternoon of the year. I have chosen a low sofa so we are on the same level, as I am a giant next to her small frame. Amanda makes good company; you can swerve from the thought provoking to the silly within a few sentences. I am interviewing her because last time I met her, she told me how she had taken up singing lessons a few years back. I had just been to listen to A L Kennedy read her essay about having singing lessons, which she made sound like a curious form of therapy rather than pure vocal training. I wanted to know more about how releasing a voice might have changed Amanda’s fiction writing. We settle. I press record on my old tape recorder. I’ve forgotten how quick and articulate she is, though

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of course she has published fifteen novels in twenty years which would demand a certain speediness of mind. Amanda begins by responding to the quote. ‘You can always spot whether a narrative voice is real or not. It’s not something that can be contrived. Great books have a tone of absolute authenticity about them that can’t be borrowed from copying someone else’s voice. Kennedy seems to be suggesting that you only have one voice, and that the more acquainted you are, in terms of expressing yourself, the better writer you become, that there has to be one coherent inner narrative and I’m not sure whether this is true. Because, just in our daily lives, whether we are writers or not, we’ve got commentary in our heads going on.’ I said I understood, recounting the recent Muppet film trailer with the two grumpy men sat up in the balcony slagging off everything and how I had these two old codgers often in my head, fighting. She agreed, saying ‘that’s why some of us have insomnia, because sometimes you just want to turn those battling voices off.’ ‘So, singing lessons?’ I say. Amanda sipped her diet coke and sat forwards, ‘My first lesson was a turning point,’ she said. ‘I’d thought I wanted a singing lesson because I was in a choir and I couldn’t make my voice sound as good as I wanted it to be. I’m the sort of person where if something needs fixing, I get a book out on it or talk to someone who

knows about it and fix it. I’m literal like that. When I found myself sitting in a kitchen, being asked questions about myself and why I wanted to sing it immediately became a very emotional experience. I found myself talking about how life had become a bit tricky and after a cup of tea, the instructor said, let’s see what sound you make. The teacher got me making noises. There was no magic invocation involved! After a while, an entirely different noise emerged from my throat: louder, looser, higher – generally embarrassing, in fact. And it seemed to emanate from a deep belly-space I didn’t know I had, somewhere between my hips and my diaphragm. She told me, from listening to the sounds, that I was a controlled person, and that I was trying too hard. It is all about letting go which, I know is true about so much in life – it’s about letting go rather than clinging on. The teacher changed the way I was breathing. She got me to make a sound which sounded odd and much deeper, not the sound I would have chosen to make, but the moment it came out, it felt real, it was like a release and it was almost a metaphorical thing, that you realise in life, a lot of things good things come when you stop trying to control them. Like any little therapeutic experience, it also had a deeper effect, feeling able to see suddenly that you have to be true to yourself and the real thing that’s inside you and not be afraid to let it out.’


You can always spot whether a narrative voice is real or not. It’s not something that can be contrived... This first lesson was seven years back. Amanda was quite stuck on a book at the time and she went back to it feeling like something had been released. Her singing, which has always been in an amateur context, has been something that she has just been getting better at. ‘At my age in life,’ she explains with a twinkle in her eye, ‘there are not many things you get better at! I’m singing Brahm’s Requiem at the moment, something I just got through eight years ago. Now I’m able to sing it, but only if I do the right breathing so the noise is from the tummy rather than the throat.’ I asked her, on the scale of high to low, what did her voice sound like? Was it strangely deep, surprising her as it would have been at odds for her size? She said, ‘I always wanted to make a pure sound, a choirboy sound, getting through life without people saying, God! But my voice is not the safe sound of a choirboy, it wouldn’t suit a fifty-year-old woman. The lessons released something intellectually. I was trying to control my voice and pretend it was something it wasn’t. I recognised that the controlled voice had to be erased. Without sounding corny, it was about learning to like yourself and not be afraid. Stop shaping yourself.’ Suddenly, Amanda brings me tight into the moment when she drops a clanger into the conversation. ‘You can still get a kick in the teeth,’ she said, ‘like yesterday ... yesterday!’

She laughs as she breathes in, ‘So, we’re talking about finding your own voice, right? So, the manuscript that I thought I’d put to bed, you know, having rewritten, and then rewritten again for months, came back with a note from the head of the publisher wanting me to rewrite the opening. In the real world of writing fiction, that’s the pressure you have, of trying to balance commercial demands and meeting your own inner demands. I struggle with that. I have written what I think is right, true to my own voice and the characters point of view, but somehow it’s not enough. My fundamental perspective is not the one they want me to write.’ We both shake our heads. It is hard to believe, after all those books and well thoughtout, intelligent words, an author can find themselves starting again. ‘In the end,’ she says as we leave the pub, ‘it’s all baked beans. You have a job to do, and they are paying you to write.’ I nod, feeling a bit bewildered. I leave her wondering how she’ll be going about changing the work to make them happy. I’ll ask her when it’s in the baked bean can in a few months. Before I Knew You by Amanda Brookfield (Penguin) In Search of the Missing Eyelash by Karen McLeod (Vintage) Signed copies of both are available from The Bookseller Crow

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Green blouse by Fever £43, skirt by Fever £39 Fortyseven, Large lily leaf gold necklace by Alex Monroe £148, Flower and floret bracelet by Alex Monroe £176 Smash Bang Wallop Coffee table £650, Vita Audio Black R4i £599.99, Retro telephones from £55, Danish side table £120, Glassware from £35, Do South

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Rosie tee by Emily & Fin £25, Sylvia skirt by Emily & Fin £38 Smash Bang Wallop. DLM table £129, Pour £82 Do South.

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Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to all our customers. Christmas & New Year Closing Dates 25th 26th & 27th December 2011 1st 2nd & 3rd January 2012 All other times open as usual Take Away Available Reservations & Party bookings welcome Free parking nearby 74 Westow Street, London, SE19 3AF Tel 020 8616 4511 Join us on Facebook

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Publish AND BE DAMNED HOWARD MALE TAKES THE PLUNGE AND SELF PUBLISHES HIS DEBUT NOVEL WITH LOCAL COMPANY ACORN

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s the Bookseller Crow’s Jonathan Main (Crystal Palace’s literary equivalent to The Simpson’s Comic Book Guy) tweeted the other day: ‘Mind you, if our cat did say he had written a book, I wouldn't be that surprised. Every other f***er I know has.’ I couldn’t have put it more acerbically myself. Although it doesn’t make me feel particularly happy to announce that I am one of those f***ers of which he tweets. As bad luck would have it, I completed my first novel just as the publishing industry started to go into meltdown. Almost immediately word came through from more than one source that no – that’s NO – first-time novelists were being offered contracts, particularly if the novel they had written didn’t fit neatly into an already established popular genre. So that was me and my uncategorisable masterpiece up poo creek without an advance. An initial trawl through The Writers’ and Artists’ Yearbook merely confirmed my position by not even attracting a glimmer of curiosity. So I put Plan B into action. I got 25 copies produced by print-ondemand company Lulu.com and started to approach established writers at book signings or through their blogs to see if they might like a free book. The only proviso was that if they liked what they read, they dropped me a line to say so. But if they hurled it across the room in exasperation after only three pages, that was OK too. A surprising number of these harassed and cornered writers accepted my offer and ended up giving me some very nice quotes. I reopened my dog-eared Writers’

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and Artists’ Yearbook and once again all I got for my trouble was more form-email rejections. At the end of a soul-destroying year, my novel has been rejected by countless literary agents without a single one of them even having read it Which brings us to the present day and Plan C. Although on the plus side, Plan C no longer has the credibility problem it used to. Plan C used to be called Vanity Publishing, now it’s called Self Publishing: what a difference a word makes! But more importantly, what a difference a financial crisis makes. Because so few first-time writers today are being picked up by major publishing houses, and because it’s so easy to get a book formatted for the increasingly popular Kindle and iPad, everyone and their … er … cat is putting their masterpiece out there for the world to choose to either ignore or embrace. Not only that; a few of these authors are actually making money. Admittedly they tend to be the ones cynically churning out teen vampire novels, chick litter (sic), or postPotter fantasies, but one can still live in hope that there are also readers out there who would be drawn to a literary novel of ideas. Stranger things have happened. But to return to the word ‘vanity’ for a moment. It was about time it was banished. Artists working in other mediums have never had to put up with it. In the late 1970s, when punk bands put out their own music on their own labels, it wasn’t called ‘vanity record releasing’ – in fact it was seen as a positively heroic thing to do (a two-fingers up to the major labels). Likewise, no one talks behind the backs of

independent film directors about their ‘vanity film’ projects. Once again, the independent film often has more kudos than the major studio film. Only the poor writer has had to tolerate condescension and snootiness when they’ve tried to get their voice heard. But there’s more than one way to skin a cat, and this is where companies like Acorn Independent Publishing come in. As we now live in such a digitally fluid world, it was the fact they offered more services than many of their competitors, rather than the fact they are Crystal Palace-based, that swung it for me. A quick google unearthed a number of companies making bold proclamations such as, ‘We are happy to deliver your dream,’ when a more truthful slogan would have been, ‘We are happy to take your money for doing little more than being an intermediary between you and a print-on-demand printer.’ By contrast, Acorn provides more of an all-round service in line with what you might expect from a traditional publisher. A basic £1,000 package gets you a proof read and typesetting of your book, cover blurb should you need it, ISBN registration, trade distribution, a basic colour cover design and more. At the other end of their price range, their £4,000 Publicity Pro package gets you a proper critical proof read, a credible cover design to your own specifications, an eBook file, an indepth marketing consultation and much else besides. Being a lowly music hack I could only afford a low to mid-price package, but I would suggest that an eBook is a must. The eBook sells for a fraction of the price of a paperback and so it


encourages readers to occasionally take a risk with an unknown writer. And those are the very readers the unknown author needs to attract. If you check out their website you will find that it exudes homely good taste and quiet efficiency, just as the smiling faces of brother and sister owners Ali and Leila Dewji inspire confidence. But it’s the fact they are upfront about their pricing system which I was most impressed by. You can take as many or as few of their services as you wish, paying half on signing their contract and the other half once the end product has met with your approval. During my initial meeting with Ali, the sales and marketing director, he drew out of me what I wanted or expected from the service. I’d have full control over how the book looked, consulting with their design team until the cover looked right. Also, as part of the package I chose, I’d get plenty of advice on how to market my novel – which, given that it’s a literary novel, conspiracy thriller, religious satire, black comedy, love story, hate story and murder mystery, is quite a big ask. I also got further insights from Ali as to why I had been banging my head against a brick wall with the traditional publishing industry. During this period of heightened conservatism and caution, agents and publishers are looking for reasons not to publish a book rather than reasons to publish it. So as soon as they get a whiff of something which isn’t about teenage vampires, or doesn’t fit neatly into one of half-a-dozen staid and dated genre categories, they move straight on to the next manuscript. In fact, never mind the

manuscript. Most of the time, my novel was getting dismissed on the strength of the synopsis alone, despite the quotes from established writers I now had, which one would have thought might at least arouse their curiosity. I was also informed that even if a mainstream publisher does take a punt on your book, it can still come a cropper because the publisher doesn’t have enough faith in it to provide a decent promotional budget. Apparently these days the traditional publishing industry’s cunning plan is to let first-time authors go the self-publishing route and then, if they do well, pick up the reins further down the line (if you’ll forgive the mixed horse/train metaphor). However, the good news is that this is no longer a foolproof cunning plan. Ali told me of a self-published author who is currently being feverishly courted by a mainstream publisher but is effectively sticking two fingers up to them because they’re doing very well, thank you, under their own steam.

After all, given that most publishers typically offer around 7-10% of the recommended retail price, compared to the 50% on printon-demand books you get from a company like Acorn, unless said traditional publisher is willing to cough up a sizeable advance and a less risible royalty rate, they are going to find it hard to tempt the successful self-published author away from a way of doing things which gives them both more control and more money. So there you have it. Things could be looking up for friends, acquaintances and possibly even pets of Jonathan. I’ll let you know in a future Transmitter how things panned out and where you can buy a copy (virtual or paper) of my conspiracy thriller, love story, hate story, black comedy… (Enough! Ed). Howard Male’s first novel Etc Etc Amen will be available soon in all formats from his website http:// etcetcamen.com/ and plenty of other places too (possibly even Bookseller Crow, although he’s not banking on it).

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VOX BOY POP S

Photos by Louise Haywood-Schiefer

Anthony Lives in Crystal Palace and works for BambinoVolcano, Church Road. @BambinoVolcano, @SharpieArt

Favourite author? Kurt Vonnegut.

Favourite book genre? Science Fiction. I like the science in sci-fi, but not the space hopper stuff.

Last book you read? Something boring about coffee. And Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card.

If you could be a character from a novel for a day, who would it be? Probably someone in Ian Banks' Culture series. I'd love to live in that society, that would be awesome

Is there a book that, to your knowledge, has not been made into a film that you would like to see made? There is a sci-fi book called Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes which was made into a really bad movie in the 60s, when they didn't really have the technology, I'd like to see that remade into a good film.

Mark Owner of the 'recycled house' in Sydenham.

Favourite author? Saul Bellow

Favourite book genre? I tend to judge quality rather than genre.

Last book you read? The Road to Wigan Pier by George Orwell. My grandfather was a miner.

Mark Lives in Crystal Palace and runs Crystal Palace Pictures www.crystalpalacepictures.com

Favourite author? John le Carre

Favourite book genre? An eclectic mix. Thrillers, great big historical dramas, anything really.

Last book you read? The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini.

If you could be a character from a novel for a day, who would it be?

If you could be a character from a novel for a day, who would it be?

There's a book by G. K. Chesterton about a character's travels about London, I can't remember his name.

James Bond (Bingo! - Ed)

Is there a book that, to your knowledge, has not been made into a film that you would like to see made? There was talk that Candide was going to be made into a film, I'd like to see a result from that.

Is there a book that, to your knowledge, has not been made into a film that you would like to see made? Just because it would be the most glorious epic, I'll go for A fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry.

We say

We say

We say

Love the coffee, love SF.

Lighten up Mark.

Like the tee, love the film club.

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GIR BO LS OKS Grace (left) Lives in West Wickham

Favourite author? Nigel Balchin

Favourite book genre? Anything. Joining a book club has taught me that I can read anything.

Last book you read?

Rebecca Gallery Assistant, lives in Bromley

Favourite author? Nick Hornby

Fabienne runs a stall on Church Road Market, lives in Crystal Palace.

Favourite author?

The Return Of Captain John Emmett by Elizabeth Speller

Is there a book that, to your knowledge, has not been made into a film that you would like to see made?

Comedy, Romance, Horror.

I will Ian McEwan, an English author because if I tell you a French one maybe you don't know him.

Last book you read?

Favourite book genre?

The Understudy by David Nicholls

Philosophical books and drama.

If you could be a character from a novel for a day, who would it be?

Last book you read?

Nora from The Understudy.

If you could be a character from a novel for a day, who would it be?

Lives in Beckenham.

Elizabeth Salinger (Qui? -Ed)

Cormac McCarthy

Is there a book that, to your knowledge, has not been made into a film that you would like to see made?

Favourite book genre?

Why not about Matisse. It would be nice to have something about that guy.

Jeanette Winterson Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?’

We say

Nous disons

We say

Love the scarf. Jury still out on Nick Hornby.

Un petit peu trop Francais peut-être.

We like book clubs but we don't like Richard Madeley.

Favourite book genre?

Is there a book that, to your knowledge, has not been made into a film that you would like to see made? Life of Pi (there is a film of this being released, starring Tobey Maguire and Gérard Depardieu - Ed)

Matisse by Hilary Spurling .

Good question, we ran through all the book club books recently and almost all of them had been made into films! I can't think of one.

Emily (right) Favourite author?

Americana.

Last book you read?

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SAY CHEESE!

MANISH UTTON-MISHRA ON THE EVOLUTION OF A BRITISH INSTITUTION

‘Cheese is the curd, casein, or solids of milk; coagulated by being warmed and mixed with rennet or acid; separated from the serum, whey, or watery part; wrapped in a cheese cloth, and pressed in a strong vat, hoop, or mould, called a chesset, till dry.’ The above is a direct quote from Law’s Grocer’s Manual (with a description of nearly every article in the trade) published around 1895. It made me think on the origins of cheese again. How on earth did someone decide upon a recipe for cheese? If you leave milk alone it will sour and eventually become unpalatable. So clearly, quite a lot of thought and experimentation went into the earliest cheeses. First, milk must be produced from domesticated animals. This domestication first happened with goats around 10,000 years ago in northern Iran, then sheep and cows, with the ‘creation’ of modern-day methods of farming the same patch of land year after year. However, it is believed that before 3500BC domesticated animals were only used for their meat, bones and hides and not for their renewable goods such as milk, wool and labour. This was apparently adopted quite quickly across all areas of the Near, Middle and Far East. Evidence for this has come from archaeological digs that indicate animals were killed at a much older age from that point in time. Also that cooking pots show residues of milk fat as well as meat fats. Milk is a very unstable food. Without refrigeration it spoils extremely quickly and its supply was always irregular. Therefore, the discovery of cheese may well have been crucial to the secondary uses of domesticated farm animals as described above. Cheese quickly became a stable and reliable source of food for early civilisations.

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Returning to the discovery of cheese, leave milk to stand and it will sour and curdle. If milk were carried in sacks made of animal stomachs it would encounter rennet, an enzyme that is crucial to digesting milk: this speeds up the curdling process. Eventually salt, already known for its preservative properties for meats, would have been added to preserve the cheese further.

One story goes that it was a herder who noted what happened when using animal stomachs to carry his milk, and he began experimenting to see whether he could enhance the process. Through much testing he finally came upon a fresh cheese and his peers and descendants began maturing cheeses for longer periods of time.


THE ODDBIN SUSPECTS I

got this little lot from Oddbins although I’m sure they can be found both hither and thither.

MICHAEL EYRE LINES UP SOME WINES

They are a suspicious looking bunch, but once you get to know them... Rioja Reserva Lat 42 2004

Erdener Treppchen Riesling Spatlese 09

Chateau Pech la Calevie 2009

Chianti Classico Lamole 2008.

75cl 13.5%vol £11.00

75cl 8.5% vol £14.00

75cl 13.5%vol £11.00

75cl 13%vol £11.00

The colour says it all at this point. Ruby, rounded and redolent. I’ve got lunch lined up like a row of ducks. Nose. Plump, peppery and deep. Not much more to be said there then, as we slide effortlessly into the palate which presents us with the taste of vanilla, strawberry, chocolate, dill and tobacco. Held together by a substantial structure of well rounded tannins with a viscous edge of white pepper and sprint. Knowingly nudging forward to a strapping, enveloping, long finish.

A sprightly, clear yellowygreen colour invites you in. Leading to a nose of luscious apricot, apple and mango. Mmmm. This theme continues on. The palate has an added element of ‘petilance’ mixed with a level of minerality that enhances the pear and white peach notes that are more prevalent at this point, taking one down a rather lovely lane of wellbalanced fruit and acidity. Fabbo.

With a colour of honeyed gold we can see we are in for a puddingy treat. The nose of candied fruit and orange blossom are swoonsome enough but as you delve into the palate of opulent caramel, nuts and wax there is no turning back. Although rich and powerful there is an excellent level of acidity giving the whole caboodle a touch of finesse. Totally ace with all your puds (natch) but a must-have with some stonking blue cheeses too.

A classic piece of work, this one. The colour of deep red cherry takes you through to a nose of inviting aromas of ripe, lightly spiced strawberries, dark cherries and blackberries. The palate is suitably rewarded with the flavours of spicy, bitter cherry, tobacco and wet leather (my fave, but enough about my personal life). A truly ‘rustic’ experience. This all sits well upon a solid structure of bright, firm tannins and well balanced acidity. Swooping effortlessly into an almost Burgundian, brilliant minerally finish. Tops gear. See you in the next life. Michael


180 degree TURN JUSTINE CROW AND HANNAH MCEWEN TAKE SIDES ON THE ALMA MAKEOVER

Photos: Mark Blundell

The gentrification of scruffy old Crystal Palace is now undeniably in full swing. What was once to some a faint hope of a brighter future was to others a fear of finding themselves living in an area they do not feel comfortable in any longer. As yet another local pub turns all SE22 we thought we would send in not one but two reviewers to help us examine this phenomenon. One lived until recently in East Dulwich and thus is versed in their ways, the other used to frequent the 'old' Alma in its spit and sawdust incarnation, and, well, quite liked it. So where do you stand on your pub grub, are you FOR Jenga chips or AGAINST?

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he Alma, it is fair to say, has played its part in maintaining its, er, bold reputation since the 1850s, and although I like to think the writer Emile Zola nipped in for a swift half on his way back to the Queens Hotel, I don’t suppose that as such an obvious outsider he’d have received the warmest of bienvenues. Now with the slate wiped clean as well as everything else, it really is as close to the desired modern local as you can get. Big enough to find a free table but small enough to be intimate, there is a buzz within the hip raw brickwork that makes you feel like flinging your coat over the back of a chair and flopping down to chat and drink. And importantly, now we have grown up, eat. And how far we’ve come since the old days when pub grub meant a sweating Ploughman's suffocating

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under a hairball of cress that was more factory than farm. No wonder we used to stick to the nuts. Hah, what would the publicans of yore have made of the walnut crusted goats cheese and poached pear on the menu at The Alma today? Or the seasoned fried calamari, lime and soy chilli? Short work if the bookseller’s starter was anything to go by. But the mouthful I was allowed was soft and tangy and surprisingly light and in complete contrast to the pigs cheeks that I went for. Well, I would, wouldn’t I. I mean, you can’t put something as provocative as that on a pub menu and expect it to be ignored. In the event, the potted pork was stoutly savoury beneath a mercifully sweet plug of peas. The main course dishes on offer were also of a robust character – the pub may have assumed a more refined


mantel but there was nothing namby-pamby here among choices that included game pie, shin of Dexter beef and Toulouse sausage & mash with veal gravy. Even the un-meaty ones were feisty – veggie haggis burger with gherkin, beer battered onion rings, chips & pesto aioli anyone?

It was all cooked precisely as we’d hoped without swagger or indeed frilliness but suddenly, seriously impressed by the presence of artichoke, the bookseller exclaimed: ‘Wow, this side salad is quite adventurous!’ with nary a hint of irony. Everybody around us politely pretended not to hear.

The bookseller caved. Many times I have witnessed his internal struggle between burger and elegance, and this time the ground beef won. A therapist would have a field day. So I went butch too and ordered the Hereford rib eye cooked as rare as they could bear. Unexpectedly, both arrived in very handsome fashion organised on slates Japanese-style, with chips arranged like Jenga pieces. And mine also came criss-crossed with long red chillis like cutlasses, accompanied by a gentlemanly jug of pink peppercorn sauce.

We were too full for bread & butter pudding or rhubarb crumble. Instead, we finished our bottle of Touraine while the pub filled and emptied and filled with a cosy tide of Thursday nighters relieved to be in the neighbourhood, sinking pints, sharing food, the odd doubledecker trundling past to remind us this wasn’t the lower East side but Upper Norwood, after all.

‘regular haunt’ has to appeal beyond its doors to prevent it from being the preserve only of ghosts. There are still plenty, not so far from here, where carpets remain sticky and an outsider can get a pool cue inserted in the ear for no extra charge. I even heard one person recently decry the loss of anonymity when the net curtains came down in his local. ‘Now anyone can come in..’, he whined. Good, says I. That’s another one dragged into the 21st century. Forty-nine thousand odd to go.

Justine Crow

Some mourn the loss of the more 'traditional' style of local pub. There are around 50,000 drinking holes still standing in the UK but the

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Photo: Mark Blundell

I

should admit that I approached visiting the new-look Alma pub for dinner with a certain amount of trepidation. You see I rather liked the old Alma. Admittedly it wasn’t the kind of place you’d take the in-laws, or choose for a romantic rendevous. It was more the sort of place where the wine was red or white, and your feet would stick to the floor as you made your way to the bar to order another round of shots. And you could often listen to music into the early hours – even if your head didn’t appreciate it the next day. I didn’t always mind its slightly grimy edge, but one thing’s for certain – you wouldn’t have gone in there to order food. Now, under new management, it’s all changed. The dark paintwork and sticky surfaces have been replaced

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with demure cream and olive tones, candlelit tables and a couple of open fires. It has definitely joined the gentrified ranks of the many other local pubs that have gone upmarket in the last few years. And now it has some distinctly impressive food on offer.

risotto with braised wild rabbit and pancetta (also available without the meat as a veggie option) was lovely – rich and delicious, with a decent amount of rabbit. And the crispy fried spring onion leaves on top made a surprisingly delicious garnish.

For starters our table shared a couple of dishes: the oak-smoked kipper pate with toasted artisan bread was rich and strong with a lovely lemony tang, and the panfried chicken livers with pancetta and apple on toasted bread were meltingly soft with a big flavour. A promising start, as long as you are not too faint hearted.

The confit pork belly stuffed and rolled with onion and spinach, served with puy lentils, baked brandy apple and crackling was a satisfying dish – and generous on the lentils. The pork was excellent – soft and flavoursome – and the crackling had a good crunch.

The mains on the menu are an interesting mix of traditional faves along with some fancier listings. My wild mushroom and five onion

The steak, Guinness and star anise pie with mash was a slightly unusual take on a traditional crowd-pleaser. The pastry lid was perfectly cooked, and with a touch of powerful star anise that lent a different twist.


Photo: Mark Blundell

The battered Coley with hand cut chips, mushy peas and tatare sauce was perhaps the most traditional of the dishes we chose – and it certainly didn’t let us down. My companion was happy with the generous pile of chips that came with the dish – he was worried that he may end up with a small Jengastyle chip tower that seems so common nowadays. Happily there was no cheffy messing about with his serving, just a traditional dinner done really well. After our main event we were all pretty stuffed – the portion sizes are more than generous – but not wanting to miss out on trying the puds, we shared two between us. Luckily, they were a bit more on the dainty side. The chocolate panna cotta with raspberry coulis and

chocolate sauce was one for the cocoa-lovers in my group, with a rich, bitter chocolate pouring sauce in a separate pot. My favourite was the pineapple upside down cake, served with vanilla ice cream. Small, perfectly formed and wonderfully retro, accompanied with a rather inventive and delicious pot of pourable pineapple purée. I’m sure that the new-look, newfeel Alma will settle very nicely into the local surroundings. We were all impressed with the friendly and attentive table service on the night, and as local pub food goes, the Alma has now definitely got one of the strongest offerings on the Triangle. But as more of the pubs in the area go upmarket, it finds itself with a bit of a duel personality. Is it a pub or is it a restaurant? The

pints of ale with dinner are definitely boozerish (and a popular choice on my table), yet the menu tells the story of more ambitious aims. With the promise of a revamped beer garden, I’m certainly looking forward to the weather getting a bit warmer – watch this space.

Hannah McEwen

The Alma 95 Church Road SE19 2TA 020 8653 3223 follow on twitter @TheAlmaCP

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WHERE THERE'S A WINDOWSILL THERE'S A WAY There’s great satisfaction in growing from seed says Sue Williams

Growing plants from seed can seem extremely daunting. Potting on, pricking out, thinning, hardening, cold scarifying ... no wonder the pristine plant in a pot is so appealing, despite the expense. There are also considerations of space. Growing plants from scratch conjures up visions of hardwood greenhouses or polytunnels fitted out with all the necessary equipment, a horny-handed son of the soil pottering amongst his seedlings with years of experience under his weathered nails. And cuttings, there’s another minefield. Soft, stem, hardwood, leaf-bud, nodal ... As with most things in life it’s best to start small. Gardening knowledge grows slowly and trying to master the whole business of propagation at once is a fruitless task. So what better place than the windowsill. Most people have neither the space nor the inclination to cultivate acres under glass but do want the satisfaction of successfully producing something edible or beautiful from scratch. In the spirit of the current times this type of project is right up there: ecologically as sound as a pound and very gentle on the pocket. Seed packets can be purchased from poundshops for as little as four for a pound and a single sachet will produce huge quantities of plants. Lettuce begin ... In February I purchased four windowsill propagators. These comprise a plastic base which contains five removable trays each having six small pots. The propagator has a raised plastic lid and once you’ve purchased a good quality seed compost you’re set to go. The variety of seeds on offer is mesmerising so it may be best to have some idea of what you would like to produce beforehand. Most seed packets will indicate clearly when their particular sowing time is so this will obviously affect your purchase. Being a true blooded Norwoodian I opted for Lobelia ‘Crystal Palace’ with its deep blue flowers, Antirrhinum

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If they begin to look leggy the cover needs to be removed and the 'hardening off' process begun ‘Spangles’ for a dash of colourful Snapdragon charm and Catananche caerulea, a showy perennial plant with violety-blue flowers. I planted them on 18 February and they were all through within three weeks, a really heartening sight at the dreary back end of winter. It’s important to use good fine compost – John Innes is always a safe bet – to give the seeds a flying start, and try to spread them sparingly and evenly, no easy task when you’ve hands like shovels. The care of the shoots from this point on really determines how successful your crop will be. As they grow to perhaps half an inch you can start to thin out the seedlings so that the remaining plants have the space to properly grow. Ensure that the soil does not become too dry, though on the other hand it’s just as harmful to allow the soil to become waterlogged. As the month progresses the seedlings will rapidly grow. If they begin to look leggy the cover needs to be removed and the ‘hardening off’ process begun. I turn the trays round fairly regularly as they can tend to lean towards the sun. The thinning process should still be ongoing and when the plants have reached a height of


two to three inches – apologies to you modern metric folk out there – and all chance of frost has passed, the trays can go outside. I usually wait until the seedlings have a really good root ball until I transplant them, either into the borders or pots. You will find there are stacks of plants produced from one seed packet and it is extremely rewarding to see the process from start to finish. Of course you don’t need a specialist propagator to grow seeds. A plastic fromage frais pot with a hole in the

bottom and a plastic bag over the top will serve equally well. Almost all vegetables can be started off on the windowsill; most of us will have produced a smattering of mustard and cress on a wet paper towel (or was that just up North?) I truly believe that growing from seed is largely a matter of confidence and a couple of successes will lead to ever more adventurous propagation. Good Luck!

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The Bookseller

JONATHAN MAIN RECOMMENDS YET MORE READING MATTER

I

f this issue were not chock-full of books enough already, here I come wheeling my barrow to show you a few more. Casting my net only a little bit more widely than SE19, our first book finds us still resolutely in local author waters. If over the course of the last ten years you have had the good fortune to go swimming at Brockwell Lido then the chances are that the heavily-tattooed man sitting atop the high chair making sure that you don't drown was Howard Cunnell. His book The Sea on Fire (Picador £12.99) is being boosted in some quarters as this season’s The Beach, simply because, as far as I can tell, there is some swimming in it and it all ends badly for some. It has far more heart than that particular book however. Cunnell has also worked as a diving instructor and his novel tells the story of Kim from Brixton who goes to work, unwittingly, for an East End gangster on a dive boat in the southern Red Sea. If I wanted to be pretentious about it

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I might say that it is a novel about 'submergence' exemplified by the terrific descriptions of diving and swimming in spectacular waters in the company of sharks. On the other hand, if I was trying to sell it to the movies I might say that it is Point Break crossed with The Long Good Friday. Whatever, it is very good indeed. The Australian author Tim Winton has long been preoccupied with the ocean and what happens 'where the water meets the shore'. A couple of months ago our book group read his boisterous, rollicking, family saga Cloudstreet (Picador £7.99) and unanimously gave it a big thumbs up. Like, as someone once said, Neighbours rewritten by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. It was once a stage play at the National Theatre and more recently a very fine HBO miniseries. His books The Riders and Dirt Music were both, in their respective years, shortlisted for the Booker Prize. Someone once described his style as macho-romantic, which

you wouldn't use to describe Julian Barnes. His most recent book published in this country (actually published in Australia in 1993) is Land's Edge: a coastal memoir (Picador £12.99) in which he confesses that if he doesn't see the sea everyday even if only for a brief minute at 8am each morning he feels restless and anxious and without his bearings. Good job he doesn’t live in Hampstead. Land’s Edge was recently Book of the Week on Radio Four. Perhaps you heard it being read. Also read in the company of others this month was Open City by the young Nigerian American writer Teju Cole (Faber £7.99). This is the hypnotic, diary-like story of a young Nigerian German hospital psychiatrist who walks the streets of Manhattan sifting through his past, ruminating on his place in the world. We learn his backstory only gradually. He briefly visits Brussels. Picks up a woman. Makes an argumentative friend in a cyber café.


Returns to New York and visits his former tutor who is dying and has a problem with bedbugs. It sounds mundane. It’s not. A quote from Jilly Cooper for the cover of a first novel (‘Utterly brilliant!’) is a gift too rich to ignore for any publisher. However, one lady novelist’s blessing can be another man's curse and I'll wager that there will be people who don't give Alys, Always by Harriet Lane (Orion £12.99) a second look after spotting JC's name with their first. They would however be very wrong to do so. Frances Thorpe is a thirtysomething sub-editor on the literary section of a national newspaper. She doesn't appear to have much of a life, until one evening driving home late at night she comes across the aftermath of a car crash at which a middle-aged woman dies. Gradually Frances is drawn into the orbit of the grieving family, the head of which, it becomes apparent, is a famous Booker Prize-winning novelist. Both

clever satire on the (north) London literary scene and compelling psychological thriller worthy of Patricia Highsmith, it is unshowy and modest and a far, far better book than some of its more lauded recent bedmates (John Lanchester I’m looking at you) and its 212 pages are a nice old-fashioned novel length. Highly recommended. Sometimes all we want to read is a good spy thriller. The Expats by Chris Pavone (Faber £12.99) is exactly that. Written by an American clearly in love with Europe it is the story of Kate Moore, an ex-CIA employee who moves with her husband to Luxembourg only to find that her security systems spouse is not altogether as he appears. Don't you hate it when that happens? The plot unravels in macro-detail and is always entertaining, who cares if at times it is implausible and that in places it reads like the film it will undoubtedly become? Towards the latter pages a character is mentioned in passing who works for

Amazon, quite clearly he is the real villain of the piece. So there's just the one more book left at the bottom of my barrow. Hang on, what's this? Local author you say? Ladies and Gentlemen, Fathers and Mothers, please allow me to present to you The Little Book of Nits (Bloomsbury £4.99) by Richard Jones and Justine Crow. Should you have schoolage children then you will know of nits and if you have school-age children and you don't know of nits then I'm calling you a self-deluded booby. Probably with an itchy head. Unfortunately nits are a fact of life and this little book written by a Fellow of the Royal Entomological Society and the co-owner of the (‘shabby but wonderful’ - The Independent) Bookseller Crow is the only one that will give you the full skinny. Hang, it will even tell you about the time that I got nits, or not. Signed copies, obviously, available.

Jonathan Main 51


WHAt's ON

SEND LISTINGS INFORMATION TO: EDITOR@THETRANSMITTER.CO.UK

FILM Crystal Palace Pictures

Gallery Film

Gypsy Hill Tavern 79 Gipsy Hill, SE19 1QH

Dulwich Picture Gallery Gallery Road, Dulwich SE21 7AD

Thursday 5 April All That Way For Love 7.30pm Tickets £5 A young Irishman travelling across the African continent to get to his doctor girlfriend hitches a ride with a nomadic older couple and becomes embroiled in their complicated history. An AngloKenyan production shot using a largely African crew. One of the producers, Henry Swindell, will be there to tell us about his experience.

Thursday 19 April Potiche Dir François Ozon 2010 | 103 mins | Rated 15 Deneuve, Gérard Depardieu and Fabrice Luchini Suzanne (Catherine Deneuve) is the put upon ‘Trophy Wife’ of a corporate high-flyer in this delightful comedy of 1970s sexual politics.

Thursday 3rd May The Secret in their Eyes Dir Juan José Campanella 2009 | 129 mins | Rated 18 Ricardo Darín, Soledad Villamil A gripping and moving thriller.

Thursday 17 may The Long Good Friday Dir John Mackenzie 113 mins | Rated 18 Bob Hoskins, Helen Mirren Harold Shand is an East End gangster on the up. Shand dreams of renovating London’s Docklands, turning into Europe’s capital and the venue of choice for the 1988 Olympics. He convinces a powerful American mafia boss to come to London to have a look at the operation. The mixture of charm and violence employed by Shand to ensure that the meeting goes well unravels when the IRA take an interest in his business operations. This is a classic British gangster film

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All films begin 7.45pm

Bar from 7.15pm £9, (£7 Friends) Tickets available from the Friends 020 8299 8750 10-12 or e-mail friendsticketing@ dulwichpicturegallery.org.uk

SPORT Sydenham Tennis, Squash and Croquet Club Lawrie Park Road Sydenham SE26 6ET www.sltcc.co.uk info@sltcc.co.uk 020 8778 4217

7 May (Bank Holiday Monday) TENNIS OPEN DAY 11am to 2pm All ages and abilities are welcome, just turn up on the day. Bring friends and family and try your hand at tennis, squash, racketball or croquet. 20% discount on membership fees. Quote The Transmitter to qualify.

Monday 16 April Gentlemen Prefer Blondes 7.45pm, Cert U/ 91 minutes Dir Howard Hawks, Marilyn Monroe, Jane Russell Howard Hawks’s comic essay on the economic advantages of an ample bosom. Monroe and Russell play a pair of chesty chisellers aboard a cruise ship bound for Paris. ‘Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend.’

Beginners Intro to Tennis courses Want to start playing tennis or would just like to brush up? We are offering six-week blocks of beginners tennis lessons for adults on Wednesday evenings, 7-8pm and Sunday afternoons, 4-5pm for only £20. New courses start on: 25th and 28th April 2012. For more information about our six-week introductory taster courses call 07776 231 676

MUSIC Ivy House, Nunhead 40 Stuart Road, SE15 3BE

Saturday 5 April Dulwich Ukes May Ball tickets from www.thedulwichukuleleclub.co.uk

The HOB Music 7 Devonshire Road Forest Hill, SE23 3HE Live music Every Tuesday from The Prisonaires and special guests - Free 9pm Live Music Every Friday Bruise (6th), HOBfest with music from The Hobbits, The Black ink plus Bar Dancing from the Moulin Rouge Girls (13th) The Danni Clay Band (20th) red Rooster (27th)


WHAt's ON POETRY The Gipsy Hill Tavern 79 Gipsy Hill, SE19 1QH

Tuesday 3 April Beyond Words Tickets £4 The main reader of the evening is much published local poet PeterEbsworth, Editor of South Bank Poetry Magazine. They will be showcasing Hannah Lowe, another South London poet, who has been described as 'a bright new voice' on the poetry scene. Poets and prose writers are welcome to come along and step up to their'open-mic' to read their own work.

COMMUNITY Friends of Westow Park Afternoon gardening sessions 1st Wednesday and 4th Friday of the month – general maintenance of flowerbeds, wildlife area etc after school in the afternoon. Bring your kids if you need to, we do. Edible Garden Weekly Saturday gardening sessions from 11.00 am to 2.00 pm – a great opportunity to learn gardening and food growing skills or get some exercise. Contact Rachel for more information, or to get involved, on: 07963 534 326 or food@ crystalpalacetransition.org.uk

Crystal Palace Artisans

BOOKS Bookseller Crow

The Overspill Coopers Yard Crystal Palace SE19 1TN

50 Westow Street SE19 3AF 020 8771 8831

Friday 20 April 6-9pm

Friday 13 April

Sat-Sun 21-22 April 11am-5pm Open studio

Imogen Cooper The Overspill in Coopers Yard are having one of their regular Open Studios at the end of April. If you’ve never been before, pop in and have a chat about what they’re up to down there in their delightful creative hub. Especially if you’re into art, dressmaking, jewellery … and Pimms. Follow the bunting.

SHOPS Smash Bang Wallop 40 Westow Street SE19 3AH

Thursday 3 May SBW 5th Birthday From 7.30pm Bring your own vinyl and dance the night away high on Liz's chocolate and free flowing wine as we celebrate SBW's fab 5th Birthday.

Come and sow wildflower seeds, cut back invasive turf and create a fairy ring in the wildlife area of the park. Come for 10 minutes, an hour or as long as you like. Tools and snacks will be provided.

Kirkdale Community Weds 11 April Kirkdale Village Public Meeting 6.30-8.30pm at the Grove Centre, 2 Jews Walk

Will Wiles Care of Wooden Floors. Lloyd Shepherd The English Monster Sophia Blackwell After My Own Heart

Wednesday 2 May Monthly Book Group Reading The Hunger Trace by Edward Hogan

Thursday 3 May Launch party for The Alien Moon by Alex Milway Yeti shenanigans and a wind up gramophone DJ. Come and help celebrate the launch of the 4th book in Alex’s series about the Mythical 9th Division.

Thursday 10 May Launch party for Driving Jarvis Ham the new novel by JimBob Come and help celebrate the launch of the fantastic new novel by he bard of south London himself. A guitar and some singing will certainly be involved.

Sunday 15 April The Mega Spring Work Day 10.00 am to 4.00 pm

Debut author night. Join us for an evening with 3 brilliantly reviewed new novelists who will be reading from and taking questions about their work.

Alhambra Home & Garden Spanish Shop 148 High Street Buildings, Kirkdale, SE26 4BB

Friday 20 April Ky Lewis 6.30-9pm photography exhibition opening

Saturday 28 April Pinhole Photography class 2.30pm with Ky Lewis

Thursday 24 May Launch party for The Little Book of Nits. Written by Richard Jones and JUSTINE CROW This will be quite a party.

Friday 1 June Our 15th Birthday Wine tasting with Matt Walls author of Drink Me! How to Choose Taste and Enjoy Wine.

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THEATRE South London Theatre The Old Fire Station 2A Norwood High Street London SE27 9NS Box Office 020 8670 3474 www.southlondontheatre.co.uk

Tuesday 15 - Saturday 19 May A Walk in the Woods see right panel for details

Tuesday 1 - Saturday 5 May The Deep Blue Sea see right panel for details

Tuesday 5 - Saturday 9 June Singles by John Bowen 8pm A moving, naturalistic comedy.

Tuesday 19 - Saturday 23 June The White Devil by John Webster 8pm A heady blend of lust, intrigue and murderous plotting, The White Devil shares much in common with modern horror stories.

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A Walk in the Woods by Lee Blessing Tuesday 15th - Saturday 19th May 8pm

The Deep Blue Sea by Terence Rattigan Tuesday 1st - Saturday 5th May 8pm

Set during the late Cold War period, this play follows the informal conversations of two nuclear arms negotiators while they take a walk in the woods away from the table. The American is new to the job and has an enthusiasm that he will be able to make a difference, whereas the Russian is an old hand and has grown cynical about how much they can achieve.

After leaving her respectable marriage to a High Court judge for a passionate affair with a former RAF pilot, Hester fails to find happiness and attempts suicide. Against the background of the repressive attitudes of the 1950s, Rattigan's engaging and moving play examines a woman's struggle to survive, with emotional intensity and unsentimental compassion.



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Saturday 14 April (includes antique textiles and vintage fashion) and Saturday 12 May Viewing: 1pm-5pm the Thursday before the auction and 9.30am-5.30pm the friday before. All lots online the week before the auction.

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THERE’S A WORLD OUT THERE! FROM THE GLOOMY AND GOTHIC TO THE BREEZILY BRAZILIAN, HOWARD MALE GUIDES YOU THROUGH SOME RECENT GLOBAL RELEASES

I

f you’re a one-time part-time punk like myself you might be put off if the words ‘chamber’ and ‘orchestra’ are included in a band’s name. But if the other two words in that name are ‘Johnny’ and ‘Parry’ I strongly suggest you investigate. With Fields & Birds & Things (Lost Toy Records), the Johnny Parry Chamber Orchestra have created something spookily different. The first track sounds like something you might expect Bowie to do were he to come out of retirement. It’s sombre and stately as it slowly builds into a Heroes-like epic. Other influences seem to be Jarvis Cocker, Nick Cave, Leonard Cohen – I’m sure you’re beginning to get the picture. It’s fairly gloomy in parts, but sometimes gloomy is just what the doctor ordered. However, if protest songs with kick-arse beats is what your doctor’s currently prescribing then I’d give Give (Crammed Discs) by Balkan Beat Box a spin. What separates

58

this Brooklyn outfit from most purveyors of global beats combined with electronica and jazz, is that they can actually write decent songs. Just give Part of the Glory or Money a listen: you’ll be struck with them as earworms for the rest of the day if not week. The band is in the process of shortening its name to BBB should you have any trouble tracking this down. For something of a rootsier nature, one of the most seductive albums I’ve heard in the last few months is by a Spanish folk group who take traditional songs from several different regions of Spain and breathe new life into them. Perlas (Fire Records) by Josephine Foster & the Victor Herrero Band keeps in all the rough edges with a no-overdubs sound that makes the most of the flamenco-style aggression of strummed guitars and the strange vibrato-heavy voice of Josephine herself, which occasionally recalls the eerie call of the

theremin. This is music that seems to evoke joy and melancholy in equal measure, and at times simultaneously. Jazz has never been a favourite genre of mine: I’m generally tempted to say ‘Nice’ in the voice of the sleazily-smooth DJ on The Fast Show as soon as the double bass and brushed ride cymbal kick in. But occasionally a musician or band expands upon the hackneyed template and gives the genre a necessary injection of new life. This is the case with Cuban pianist Roberto Fonseca on his latest album Yo (Jazz Village Records). The blunt brevity of the title in no way prepares you for the complex interplay of African percussion instrument rhythms and kora with the more expected jazz instrumentation. Not all of it works – at times it sounds like two overlapping radio stations – but you’ve got to admire the man for going way beyond his comfort zone. Finally, over to Brazil. It would be easy to think

that all the music from this country neatly fits into two categories: easygoing super-tasteful bossa nova and drum-heavy up-tempo samba. If you share this impression then give breezy Sao Paulo singer Ceu a listen. To be honest, her previous effort Varagosa would be the best place to start. But nevertheless, Caravana Sereia Bloom (Six Degrees Records) is an agreeable enough extension of her experiments with kitsch and cool, as she plays about with dub reggae, post rock, cumbia and half a dozen other styles until she ends up with something unmistakeably her own. Think Astrid Gilberto meets Tricky, and you’d be halfway there. Nice.

Howard Male


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