The Queer Chronicle - May 2012
'The Queer Chronicle’ (TQC) is India's longest running free monthly e-magazine, published for and by the queer community. With interviews, personal stories, events, businesses, art, travel, health & fitness, investment advice, movie reviews, book reviews, etc (all of course, from an LGBT point of view), TQC is an information packed capsule and is a ‘must-have’ for every queer Indian and visitors to India. TQC is a non-commercial publication, is not for sale and is exclusively for private distribution.
TC Q Issue 3 . Volume 9 . India the grey line WHO WE ARE the after party MDNA queer humor AN ETIQUETTE GUIDE FOR STRAIGHT PEOPLE IN A GAY BAR for your coffee table WHY ARE FAGGOTS SO AFRAID OF FAGGOTS? 18+ IP SH ER + AD RE IN 25 ES I TR UN CO We'll help to promote your business Established+in+September+2009,+TQC+is+India's+longest+running+ monthly+e>magazine+published+for+and+by+the+queer+ community+in+India.+Being+an+online+publication+we+have+the+ advantage+of+a+global+spread+of+readers,+though+our+ readership+is+primarily+targeted+at+Indian+audiences.++More+ details+at+www.thequeerchronicle.com TC Q BLOCK&BOOKING&DISCOUNT For+3+advertisement+insertions+booked+ for+consecutive+editions,+the+4th+ advertisement+insertion+would+be+ provided+free+of+cost,+within+the+same+ page+blocks. ARTWORK&SPECIFICATIONS All+artworks+should+be+designed+in+A4+ (297+mm+height+x+209+mm+width)+size+ and+emailed+to+us+in+PDF+format+or+in+ high+resolution+(minimum+1755+pixels+ height+x+1240+pixels+width)+JPG+format. SCHEDULES TQC+should+receive+the+artwork+via+ email+by+the+20th+of+each+month,+to+ enable+us+plan+the+insertion+in+the+ subsequent+month's+edition. h wit in w no ders rea 20+ ies tr un co TC Q Issue 2 . Volume 11 . India special feature TETE-A-TETE WITH ONIR TC Q Issue 2 . Volume 9 . India feature story CHILDREN OF THE event in pix REVOLUTION QUEER THE DIARIES the midnight mex in the city the midnight PROWL one night in FREEDOMPROWL TO LEAVE one night in PARIS a queer view AMSTERDAM on your coffee table SEVEN SAINTLY SINS the best things to do in QUEER DELHI 18+ TC Q Issue 3 . Volume 3 . India BENEDETTO the best things to do in CASANOVA QUEER PUNE THE MEMOIRS 18+ TQC exclusive MEN OF RAJASTHAN h wit in w no ders rea 20+ ies tr un co TERMS & CONDITIONS The booking would be confirmed via email only upon receipt of the payment in full. NO REFUND mex in the city WOULD BE CONSIDERED FOR CANCELLATIONS. It is the advertiser's responsibility to provide the special feature COMPASSIONATE BRIGHT EYES the best things to do in QUEER KOLKATA the after party artwork as per specifications. TQC would not be liable for pixelation of artwork upon publishing. TQC reserves the right to refuse publishing or request modification of artwork in case the content or visuals are not in line with TQC's stringent publishing policy. TQC does not bear any responsibility nor undertake any liability for the quality, reliablity or safety of the products or services advertised. LADY ANTEBELLUM one night in 18+ PROJECT BOLO PART 2 h wit in w no ders rea 20+ ies tr un co TEL AVIV for rates, email us at TheQueerChronicle@gmail.com in this ISSUE 2 the grey line WHO WE ARE poster contest winner for KASHISH MIQFF 2012 22 program announcement RJ's 10 CommandmentsFAMILY PROJECT THE "Whattodoonyourfirst datehasbeendoneto death,somuchsothat peopletendtodoopposite ofwhatisevangelized throughthosepointssoI thoughtofgivingitatwist withalistofwhat not to 7 the front row SUMMER STORM 24 1. Do not.. modeling assignment. Keep it simple) going on a date not a .. dress up like a Christmas tree...(you are do on your first date. Inordertomakethelist morecomprehensive, variousgaychatrooms, socialnetworkingwebsites andfriendswereconsulted beforepreparingthelist andafterabrainstorming sessiononthelooseat, thisneverendinglistwas narroweddownto10 points,asitwasnear impossibletoincludeallof them. Here'sabirdsviewof what NOTtodoonyourfirst date..." RJ 8 2. Do no 4. Do no t.. ... at him .. ogle lly the (specia body ding protru parts) 5. Do not.. chance to speak) .. talk on and on and on... (it's a date not an extempore. Give him a for your no 6. Do coffee table t.. WHY ARE FAGGOTS SO AFRAID OF FAGGOTS .. stare at anothe r hottie sitting nex t to you r table...(un less ur date is also sta ring at him ) your rs for are g flowe r you .. brin embe (rem not a date... a GUY te with on da !!!) Girl... t.. 3. Do not.. .. ask your date whether he travelled by car or bike...(people still use public transport. Is cheap, and puncture proof) for the morning after SHRIMP SALAD WITH MANGO 26 7. Do not.. .. walk out by saying your mother called and you need to leave urgently... editor's pick t.. 0. Do no 1 RJ'S 10 COMMANDMENTS type") .. ask if he knows some more guys in your locality...(why d hell r u TQC - Aug 2010 (there are 10 other ways to say "Sorry Not my 11 12 8. Do no ss a first ki e your agus' .. mak oesoph ue in t peck `tong (a we ) nce... perie suffice ex would e lips on th t.. 9. Do not.. st date ur fir end yo and .. ever condom e used (leav with a eets... pled sh next crum r the ng fo methi so e) on on a date? ...go and log on to planetromeo!) events, advertisements & PROMOTIONS Andaboveall,justgowiththeflow andbeyourself.Evenafterthatifit turnsouttobeadampener,don't loseheartbecausethereare plentyoffishintheseaandmany arestilllookingtofindLOVE...!!! queer humor AN ETIQUETTE GUIDE FOR STRAIGHT PEOPLE IN GAY BARS the after party with MDNA 16 TQC. Issue 3. Volume 9. India. Cover art by SYED ALI ARIF from his series `THE NAKED SADHU' Editor & publisher: Keith | Contributors: Ashish Dutta, Brian Moylan (vice.com), Desiboys.in, RJ Ranveer, Sridhar Rangayan. Shourya, Layout concept, design & production: Keith. TQC (The Queer Chronicle) is India's longest running free monthly e-magazine published for and by the queer community in India. This e-zine is a non-commercial publication, is not for sale and is exclusively for private distribution. Views expressed are solely the opinions of the individual authors and do not necessarily represent the opinions of the editorial team of TQC, nor its affiliates. The content of this e-zine may not be suitable for all audiences. The appearance of any person in this ezine, is not to be taken as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons. TQC respects the copyrights of photographs / images and ensures that due credit of the sources of these are mentioned. www.thequeerchronicle.com, www.facebook.com/tqc.india, www.planetromeo.com/tqc_india, TheQueerChronicle@gmail.com Please print this ezine only if you have to. Help save our planet. THE GREY LINE Who We Are by ashish dutta I+have+been+wondering+what+to+write+as+my+first+ post+since+I+got+the+green+light+for+a+column+of+my+ own.+As+I+was+in+the+shower+today+(please+don't+ imagine+that),+a+thought+came+to+my+mind.+ Phew!+The+symbol+rainbow+sure+is+perfect!+We+are+ You+know+how+there+are+so+many+stereotypes+ about+being+gay?+Like+that+one+where+we+are+sex+ hungry+animals?+Or+that+we+are+all+uniquely+ fashionable?+Or+that+a+gay+relationship+is+less+ credible+than+a+straight+relationship?+Or+that+>+okay+ you+got+the+idea!+Have+you+ever+wondered+how+ much+we+as+"gay"+people+(Oh!+the+minions+of+ Satan)+actually+contribute+to+these+stereotypes?+ I+mean+sure+there+is+some+serious+truth+to+these+ statements+and+no+matter+how+much+we+shrug+our+ shoulders+and+say+"I+give+a+fuck!"+lets+face+it,+we+ do.+And+on+the+flipside,+have+you+ever+wondered+ how+much+being+gay+actually+alters+our+actions+in+ daily+life?+ We+dress+differently+(and+better)+sure,+but+does+ that+change+how+we+feel+about+the+fact+that+the+ neighbor's+daughter+ran+away?+I+guess+not.+For+ some+of+us,+being+gay+is+all+there+is.+And+that+ "being+gay",+comes+in+as+much+variety+as+ underwear.+ On+my+way+home+I+talk+to+my+lover+who+shares+ Being+gay+is+being+different!+Being+gay+is+PAR>TAY+ and+hump+like+bunnies!+Being+gay+is+knowing+by+ how+last+night+he+had+such+a+great+time+with+his+ friends+and+how+he+is+worried+about+his+dog+or+ My+manager+and+I+have+arguments,+my+colleagues+ always+especially+interested+in+all+that+I+do+and+by+ the+end+of+the+shift,+I+am+tired.+ I+wake+up+in+the+morning,+hating+the+fact+that+I+ have+to+wake+up.+I+take+a+little+extra+time+to+figure+ out+what+to+wear.+By+the+end+of+it+I+have+my+tote+ bag+on+my+shoulder,+wayfarers+on+my+eyes,+ smelling+of+the+body+mist+I+recently+bought+from+ The+Body+Shop,+and+dreading+another+day+at+work.+ We+have+our+own+form+of+prejudices,+fueled+by+ narcissism,+pride,+and+the+lesser+known,+ vulnerability.+You+just+have+to+walk+into+a+Saturday+ night+party+to+figure+that+out.+And+there+you+go!+ And+here+are+straight+people,+thinking+all+these+ glorious/not>so>glorious+things+about+us!+ indeed+diverse+within+a+minority!+Mind+you,+there+ aint+no+solidarity+within+the+community;+no+"gay> gay+bhai+bhai!"+ heart+the+entire+summer+collection+of+United+ Colors+of+Benetton!+Being+gay+is+fighting+for+ equality+and+being+as+political+as+the+color+saffron.+ 2 TQC Art&by&SYED&ALI&ARIF& from&his&series& `THE&NAKED&SADHU' MAY12 3 Art&by&SYED&ALI&ARIF& from&his&series& `THE&NAKED&SADHU' 4 TQC that+he+misses+me.+I+take+part+in+his+life+and+talking+ to+him,+makes+me+feel+complete.+ My+friend+from+work+tells+me+there+is+a+cute+boy+ sitting+nearby+and+we+both+check+him+out+and+ drool+over+him.+She+then+shares+how+her+boyfriend + is+acting+all+freaky+on+her+again+and+I+share+her+ irritation+and+laugh+at+how+silly+men+can+get.+ When+I+reach+home,+my+mom+fusses+over+my+food+ and+health+at+the+same+time,+sharing+what+I+missed+ on+the+latest+episode+of+some+series+she+watches!+ At+night,+I+go+out+with+my+friends+to+a+party+where+ I+see+people,+dancing+laughing,+flirting,+sitting+ alone,+observing,+drinking,+letting+loose.+I+come+ home,+and+lie+on+my+bed+thinking+about+my+day.+ And+I+realize,+this+is+who+I+am.+This+is+what+makes+ me.+And+I+am+different+only+in+the+fact+that+I+say+"I+ love+you"+to+a+man...+Rest+all+is+the+same.+Cause+I+ won't+make+a+big+fuss+about+my+sexuality+if+I+don't+ want+other+people+to+make+fuss+about+it.+I+won't+ say+I+am+a+minority+unless+I+want+to+be+treated+like+ one.+ I+am+gay.+And+my+life+has+the+same+ups+and+downs+ (more+ups,+if+you+know+what+I+mean)+as+a+straight+ guy.+But+I+won't+sit+and+show+it.+I+won't+scream+it+ out.+You+see+me+wear+the+right+colors,+you+see+me+ be+a+little+feminine,+you+see+me+hitting+on+guys... but+come+closer+and+see...that+I+to+have+a+story.+ And+it+begins+as+I+find+out...who+I+am. So+with+this+post+I+introduce+to+you,+thegreyline.+ The+one+between+black+and+white.+Right+and+ wrong.+Sanity+and+insanity.+Color+and+ monochrome.+Reality+and+fiction.+ TQC TQC B&B At$TQC$Bed$&$Breakfast$in$Pune$(India),$ we$believe$that$our$guests,$whether$ they$be$backpackers,$tourists$or$business$ visitors,$should$feel$at$home$in$a$secure$ and$comfortable$environment$. TQC$Bed$&$Breakfast$is$located$in$an$ apartment$block,$situated$on$a$picturesque$ hillock.$The$private$room$(ensuite)$has$an$ independent$balcony,$with$a$panoramic$view$ of$the$city.$ $ The$accommodation$is$at$close$proximity$to$ the$main$shopping$center$(MG$Road:$5$km),$ the$most$popular$social$district$(Koregaon$ Park:$8$km)$and$transportation$hubs$(Railway$/$ Bus$stations:$9$km,$Airport:$14$km).$There$is$ easy$access$to$public$transport$facilities$within$ a$3Qminute$walk$and$private$taxis$are$also$ available$on$call$(within$45$minutes$prior$ notice). The$daily$price$includes$a$selfQservice$ Continental$breakfast.$Guests$may$also$avail$of$ the$apartment's$common$facilities$at$no$extra$ charge.$This$includes$the$kitchen$and$its$ appliances,$free$WiQFi$Internet,$cable$television$ and$washing$machine.$We$provide$guests$with$ home$delivery$menus,$can$recommend$some$ of$the$best$restaurants$and$can$provide$ for price details, email TheQueerChronicle@gmail.com TQC MAY12 ADVERTISEMENT PROGRAM ANNOUNCEMENT (PUNE) MAY12 7 FOR YOUR COFFEE TABLE Why are faggots so afraid of faggots? 8 TQC Gay$culture$has$become$a$nightmare$ of$consumerism,$whether$it's$an$ endless$quest$for$Absolut$vodka,$ Diesel$jeans,$rainbow$Hummers,$pec$ implants,$or$Pottery$Barn.$Whatever$ happened$to$sexual$flamboyance$ and$gender$liberation,$an$end$to$ marriage,$the$military,$and$the$ nuclear$family? As$backrooms$are$shut$down$to$ make$way$for$wedding$vows,$and$ gay$sexual$culture$morphs$into$ "straightQacting$dudes$hangin'$out,"$ what$are$the$possibilities$for$a$ defiant$faggotry$that$challenges$the$ assimilationist$norms$of$a$corporateQ cozy$lifestyle? Why$Are$Faggots$So$Afraid$of$ Faggots?$challenges$not$just$the$ violence$of$straight$homophobia$but$ the$hypocrisy$of$mainstream$gay$ norms$that$say$the$only$way$to$stay$ safe$is$to$act$straight:$get$married,$ join$the$military,$adopt$kids!$ Mattilda$Bernstein$Sycamore$ reinvokes$the$anger,$flamboyance,$ and$subversion$once$thriving$in$gay$ subcultures$in$order$to$create$ something$dangerous$and$lovely:$an$ exploration$of$the$perils$of$ assimilation;$a$call$for$accountability;$ a$vision$for$change.$A$sassy$and$ splintering$emergency$intervention! QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ Article&sourced&from& www.desiboys.in TQC MAY12 9 ADVERTISEMENT All editions of TQC are now available as free ebook downloads at queer-ink.com http://queerink.com/ EDITOR'S PICK TQC - AUGUST 2010 RJ's 10 Commandments "Whattodoonyourfirst datehasbeendoneto death,somuchsothat peopletendtodoopposite ofwhatisevangelized throughthosepointssoI thoughtofgivingitatwist withalistofwhat not to 1. Do not.. .. dress up like a going on a date not a Christmas tree...(you are .. Do not 2. 3. Do not.. .. ask your date whether he travelled by car or bike...(people still use public transport. Is cheap, and puncture proof) modeling assignment. Keep it simple) do on your first date. Inordertomakethelist morecomprehensive, variousgaychatrooms, socialnetworkingwebsites andfriendswereconsulted beforepreparingthelist andafterabrainstorming sessiononthelooseat, thisneverendinglistwas narroweddownto10 points,asitwasnear impossibletoincludeallof them. Here'sabirdsviewof what NOTtodoonyourfirst date..." RJ ur for yo owers e g fl ou ar .. brin ber y em (rem not a date... GUY ith a te w on da !!!) Girl... t. . Do no 4 . ... at him .. ogle e ally th speci y ( g bod rudin prot ) par ts 5. Do not.. .. talk on and on and on... (it's a date not an extempore. Give him a chance to speak) our unless u r date is also sta ring at h im) table...( sitting n .. stare 6. Do not.. ext to y at anoth e r hottie 7. Do not.. .. walk out by saying your mother called and you need to leave urgently... to say "Sorry Not my type") (there are 10 other ways t. . Do no 8 . sa st kis ur fir ' ke yo hagus .. ma oesop eck ue in wet p `tong ...(a e) ience suffic exper would e lips on th 9. Do not.. .. ask if he knows some more guys in your locality...(why d hell r u on to planetromeo!) on a date? ...go and log t.. . Do no ate 10 TQC - Aug 2010 st d ur fir nd yo re and .. eve ndom ed co e us (leav with a eets... h pled s ext crum the n g for thin some one) Andaboveall,justgowiththeflow andbeyourself.Evenafterthatifit turnsouttobeadampener,don't loseheartbecausethereare plentyoffishintheseaandmany arestilllookingtofindLOVE...!!! 7 QUEER HUMOR an etiquette guide for straight people in gay bars Article by Brian Moylan, Source: vice.com Photographs courtesy Q-NITES @ BLUE FROG (July 2011) 12 TQC One+of+the+great+things+about+the+hottest+club+in+ any+town+these+days+is+that+gay+people+are+ welcome.+But+with+acceptance+comes+ responsibility,+and+over+the+years+homosexual+ partiers,+like+a+bunch+of+hard>drinking+Emily+Posts,+ have+had+to+learn+the+ins>and>outs+of+how+to+ behave+in+a+mostly>straight+environment+without+ pissing+anyone+off.+It's+a+straight+man's+world,+ we're+just+livin'+in+it. throwing+fits+and+bitching+and+moaning+because+ no+one+is+going+to+put+you+on+a+pedestal+(or+let+you + dance+on+a+go>go+platform).+Just+deal+with+it+for+ one+night.+You're+still+pretty+and+special,+even+ though+no+one+is+buying+you+a+drink+and+inviting+ you+to+the+VIP+room.+No+one+wants+to+fuck+you+ here,+so+you're+going+to+need+to+get+the+fuck+over+ yourselves. Lowering&the&Bar Unfortunately,+the+same+cannot+be+said+for+ straight+people+when+attending+a+gay+watering+ hole+with+their+same>sex>loving+friends.+We+love+ having+straight+people+hang+out+with+us,+we+really+ do,+but+I'm+going+to+break+down+the+rules+for+the+ breeders+who+forget+how+to+behave+when+there+is+ a+rainbow+flag+on+the+wall.+For+our+purposes+we'll+ be+talking+about+gay+male+bars,+since+lesbian+bars,+ like+pandas+in+the+wild+and+good+female+acoustic+ folk+acts,+are+harder+and+harder+to+find+these+days. Your&Vagina&Has&No&Power&Here This+is+the+most+important+lesson+for+all+ladies+to+ know+before+they+step+foot+in+a+queer+ establishment+(unless,+of+course,+it+is+the+fabled+ lesbian+bar).+Women+are+used+to+being+let+into+ clubs+first,+not+having+to+pay+a+cover,+served+at+the+ bar+quickly,+and+basically+allowed+to+do+whatever+ the+hell+they+want+to+do+in+straight+bars.+That's+ because+if+there+were+no+women,+men+wouldn't+ spend+money+to+get+them+fucked+up+and+try+to+ sleep+with+them.+Everyone+is+catering+to+open+the+ velvet+ropes+between+a+woman's+thighs.+It+is+ exactly+the+opposite+in+a+gay+bar.+Women,+while+ fun+to+have+around,+are+practically+invisible+at+a+ gay+party.+They+have+to+wait+for+the+one+tiny+ restroom+(which+has+probably+been+co>opted+by+ boys+and+drag+queens+anyway),+they+don't+get+to+ annoy+the+DJ+to+request+songs,+and+the+(probably+ shirtless)+bartender+is+going+to+take+their+order+ last.+Congrats,+ladies,+this+is+how+men+feel+in+ straight+bars.+Now,+you+need+to+get+used+to+it,+no+ Remember+when+I+said+we+love+it+when+straight+ people+come+to+our+bars?+Well,+that's+not+always+ true.+There+are+some+bars+we+don't+want+you+to+go+ to.+They+are+usually+bars+where+boys+go+late+at+ night+to+make+out+with+strangers+and+engage+in+a+ little+slap+and+tickle+in+a+dark+corner.+Do+not+go+ there.+No+matter+what+your+friends+say,+there+is+no+ place+for+you+at+the+C**k,+or+any+establishment+ that+is+named+after+the+male+genitalia+or+ something+incredibly+masculine+like+Rawhide,+ Truck,+or+Woody's.+Boys+who+like+boys+are+going+ there+to+get+laid,+and+babysitting+straight+people+is+ not+conducive+to+scoring+d**k.+When+your+friends+ show+up+there,+it's+time+to+go+get+a+piece+of+pizza+ and+hail+a+cab+home.+Also,+leave+anyplace+called+ The+Eagle+alone,+unless+you+really+want+to+see+a+ bunch+of+bears+in+harnesses+and+other+leather+gear+ giving+you+the+stank+eye+while+grinding+each+ other's+jock+straps. No&One&Likes&a&C**kblocker Keeping+your+"gay+BFF"+(please,+never+utter+that+ phrase)+from+getting+laid+is+the+cardinal+sin,+even+if+ you+are+at+an+otherwise+mixed+and+tame+lounge,+ dance+club,+or+dive+bar.+If+anything+you+are+there+ to+be+his+wingman.+The+problem+is,+no+one+there+ wants+to+have+sex+with+you.+That's+why+it's+better+ to+go+to+a+gay+bar+with+a+gaggle+(the+scientific+term+ for+a+group+of+gays),+so+if+one+of+the+boys+is+about+ to+get+lucky,+you+can+shift+your+attention.+Don't+be+ the+drag+keeping+a+love+connection+from+ happening+because+you+need+someone+to+dance+ MAY12 13 14 TQC with+you+to+the+Robyn+song+on+the+jukebox.+If+you+ see+young+love+blossoming,+get+out+of+the+damn+ way,+or+excuse+yourself+to+make+your+own+booty+ call.+Then+everyone's+getting+theirs. No&Girls&Allowed Ladies,+we+don't+mind+going+to+your+bachelorette+ parties,+because+we+love+and+support+you+as+ friends+even+if+we+find+it+a+little+insulting+(and+ genitally+incorrect)+that+you+keep+calling+us+"one+of+ the+girls."+However,+if+we+don't+know+you,+we+have + no+interest+in+being+at+your+party.+That+means+ keep+them+out+of+gay+bars.+We+know+you+want+to+ look+at+strippers,+but+you+have+to+find+somewhere+ for+women+to+do+it.+Do+not+show+up+at+a+gay+go>go+ bar+and+screech+and+squeal+and+push+all+the+other+ patrons+out+of+the+way+so+you+can+drunkenly+slip+a+ note+in+a+tiny+sliver+of+spandex+stuck+up+a+plump,+ oiled+backside.+To+you+it+might+be+one+night+of+ misbehaving,+but+this+is+our+life.+Please+respect+ that,+and+take+your+high>decibel+revelry+ somewhere+that+will+cater+to+your+"big+day." Hands&Off OK,+ladies,+we+will+make+a+deal+with+you.+We+won't+ touch+your+b**bs+if+you+don't+touch+our+c**ks.+Is+ that+fair?+We+know+you+find+it+thrilling+that+your+ lady+parts+mean+nothing+to+us+and+that+you+can+ touch+our+magic+sticks+without+making+them+stand+ on+end,+but+that+does+not+mean+there+should+be+ any+inappropriate+groping.+We+don't+want+anyone+ in+public+handling+our+junk+unless+they+were+ invited,+so+please+watch+your+hands.+In+return,+we+ will+try+to+resist+touching+your+knockers.+It's+hard+ for+gay+men+to+leave+titties+alone,+because+they+ are+foreign+and+quite+enjoyable+(they+don't+call+ them+funbags+for+nothing)+but+we'll+keep+our+ grubby+mitts+off+of+them+unless+told+otherwise.+ That+doesn't+mean+you+should+force+our+hands+ onto+them+though.+Yours+might+not+be+the+kind+of+ pair+that+we're+into. This&One&Is&For&the&Gentlemen OK,+straight+guys,+just+because+you're+in+a+gay+bar+ does+not+mean+you+like+to+take+a+c**k+in+the+ass.+ That+means+you+can+stop+clutching+your+girlfriend+ like+she's+some+sort+of+heterosexual+life+preserver+ to+keep+you+from+drowning+in+a+sea+of+receptive+ anal+intercourse.+You+don't+need+to+hold+her+hand+ and+make+out+with+her+and+go+out+of+your+way+to+ announce+your+orientation.+We+already+know+ you're+straight.+Those+shoes+you+wore+on+your+way+ in+told+us,+you+don't+need+to+keep+repeating+ yourself.+It's+a+bit+insulting.+And+keep+the+PDA+light.+ If+we+wanted+to+watch+straight+people+make+out,+ we'd+go+just+about+anywhere+else+in+the+whole+ damn+universe. When&in&Rome,&Go&Greek Just+because+the+gays+at+the+bar+know+a+guy+is+ straight+doesn't+mean+he+won't+get+hit+on.+In+fact,+ it+probably+increases+his+likelihood+of+dudes+ wanting+to+chat+him+up.+Know+how+straight+guys+ like+girl>on>girl+action?+Gays+feel+the+same+way+ about+straight+guys,+so+they're+going+to+want+to+try+ to+"turn"+you.+(Unless+you're+ugly.+Then+you're+ totally+safe.)+Just+let+the+poor+deluded+soul+hitting+ on+you+down+nicely+without+being+insulting.+Either+ that+or+flirt+your+way+into+a+few+free+drinks.+Just+ because+you're+not+interested+doesn't+mean+you+ can't+take+him+for+everything+he's+worth.+At+least+ one+girl+has+done+that+to+you+before,+right?+If+your+ new+paramour+continues+to+pressure+you+or+gets+ too+handsy,+don't+punch+him+in+the+grill.+The+room+ will+turn+on+you+and+call+you+a+gay+basher+faster+ than+you+can+say+Laramie,+Wyoming.+Instead+just+ throw+a+drink+on+him+like+it's+an+episode+of+ Dynasty.+Not+only+will+that+solve+your+problem,+ you'll+probably+make+a+bunch+of+new+friends. No&F**king&Cosmos Seriously,+it's+not+1997+and+you+are+not+Carrie+ Bradshaw.+Put+down+the+f**king+appletini+and+ order+a+beer+or+a+vodka+tonic+like+everyone+else. TQC MAY12 15 the after party MDNA by shourya 16 TQC MAY12 17 Trailblazing+her+way+to+the+top+with+re>invention+ being+her+persistent+blueprint+for+success+has+been+ Madonna's+mantra,+a+formula+that+fueled+ Madonna's+ascent+to+the+throne+as+the+Queen+Of+ Pop+around+3+decades+ago+in+1983.+I+use+the+words + `has+been'+for+the+very+reason+that+if+you+listen+to+ Madonna's+12th+studio+album+`MDNA`+expecting+ another+round+of+re>invention,+you+might+be+a+ trifle+disappointed.+It's+not+an+album+with+which+ Madonna+wants+to+push+boundaries,+or+stay+in+the+ forefront+of+musical+trends+for+that+matter.+ or+the+stunning+experimental+sonic+boom+of+1998ns+ `Ray+Of+Light`.+The+thing+is,+`MDNA`+was+not+meant+ to+be+another+`Confessions..`+or+a+`Ray+Of+Light`. When+the+album+starts+of+with+the+dance>floor+ ready+`Girl+Gone+Wild`,+you+know+Madonna's+in+no+ mood+to+slow+down.+If+you+could+ignore+the+ cheese>fest+that+are+the+song's+lyrics+(`You+got+me+ in+the+zone,+DJ+play+my+favorite+song`),+the+song's+ kinda+decent.+The+video+more+than+makes+up+for+ what+the+song+lacks+though. The+same+goes+for+the+Nicki+Minaj+and+MIA+ `MDNA'+is+a+retrospective+album+which+finds+ Madonna+grappling+with+rare+moments+of+ vulnerability+coupled+with+her+defiant+attitude,+a+ post>divorce+reclamation+of+what+her+life+used+to+ be,+musically.+It's+a+self>referential+cornucopia+of+ everything+that+she's+done+over+the+past+30+years.+ And+the+underlying+statement+is,+she+wants+to+ have+fun.+ The+very+name+of+the+album+`MDNA`+expresses+it+ all.+She's+in+a+euphoric+state+of+mind,+and+the+ album+title+is+a+sly+nod+to+the+club>drug+ecstasy,+ also+called+MDMA.+And+Madonna+definitely+wants+ to+take+us+to+the+club+with+some+infectious+and+ propulsive+grooves+that+made+the+final+cut.+The+ title+also+cleverly+incorporates+everything+ Madonna+represents,+probably+a+nod+to+her+one> of>a>kind+DNA,+and+as+you+listen+to+the+album,+ numerous+lyrical+and+musical+references+to+her+ past+pop+up,+giving+you+a+triumphant+taste+of+some + classic+M>DNA. It's+difficult+to+ignore+the+flaws+when+you+listen+to+ `MDNA`+for+the+first+time.+Synthetic,+rehashed+ sounds,+occasionally+banal+and+insipid+lyrics+ (especially+songs+like+`B'Day+Song`)+,+MIA+and+Nicki+ Minaj's+unrelated+and+underwhelming+presence,+ Madonna's+signature+taunts+towards+religion..+the+ album+is+not+cohesive+at+all.+It+lacks+the+sheer+ brilliance+of+2005ns+`Confessions+On+A+Dance+Floor`+ assisted+Martin+Solveig>produced+breezy+nod+to+ cheer>leading,+`Give+Me+All+Your+Luvin`+that+sounds+ like+a+misfit+on+the+album.+Again,+the+video+ delivers,+and+the+song+is+already+Madonna's+38th+ Billboard+top+10+hit.+Watch+out+for+an+occasional+ reference+to+some+classic+Madonna+songs+here+(`In + another+place,+at+a+different+time,+you+can+be+my+ lucky+star`).+I+do+wish+Nicki+and+MIA+had+more+to+ do+on+the+song+than+occasionally+hoot+`L>U>V+ Madonna`+and+throw+in+a+2+second+long+verse+ each. The+highlight+of+the+album+comes+in+the+form+of+ `Gang+Bang`,+a+dark,+twisted+and+grimy+tale+of+ destruction+woven+over+a+thumping+pulse+and+a+ dubstep+break.+This+one+deserves+the+video+ treatment,+and+I+would+love+to+see+Madonna's+ fierceness+in+the+video+during+the+song's+ conclusion+when+she+gleefully+howls+`Drive,+bitch!+ And+while+you're+at+it,+die+bitch!`.+Classic+ Madonna! `I'm+Addicted`+is+the+next+highlight,+a+surging+ dance>pop+club+banger.+Watch+out+for+a+nod+to+ Madonna's+1989+classic+`Like+A+Prayer`,+as+she+ declares+`Something+happens+to+me+when+I+hear+ your+voice+and+I+have+no+choice`.+Slickly+produced+ by+the+Benassi+Brothers+and+The+Demolition+Crew,+ this+song+is+defiant+nod+to+the+sound+of+her+ `Confessions..`+days. 18 TQC MAY12 19 Nicki+Minaj+makes+a+second+appearance+on+`I+Don't+ Give+A`,+an+Electro/Hip>Hop+production+that+is+ probably+directed+at+Madonna's+ex+husband,+Guy+ Ritchie.+Although+the+song+starts+off+on+a+tepid+ note,+it+gradually+builds+up+to+a+crescendo,+when+ Nicki+Minaj+delivers+her+signature+verses,+and+ defiantly+growls+`There's+only+one+Queen,+and+ that's+Madonna..BITCH!!`+during+the+song's+ conclusion.+A+worthy+inclusion+on+the+album. Madonna's+stunning+introspective+balladry+turns+ out+to+be+the+album's+biggest+highlight+for+me.+The + Golden+Globe+winning+`Masterpiece`+from+her+ directorial+d�but+`W.E`+is+her+most+poignant+ moment+on+the+album,+and+Madonna+delivers+ vocally+on+this+song.+Ironically+with+dance+music+ being+her+forte,+Madonna's+longest+running+#+1+ single+on+the+Billboard+Hot+100+is+actually+the+ incredibly+lush+power>ballad+`Take+A+Bow`.+Just+ shows+that+this+woman+can+really+truly+do+it+all! Unfairly,+`I+Fucked+Up`,+another+mid>tempo+ introspective+number,+finds+itself+on+the+deluxe+ edition+of+`MDNA`.+A+rare+song+showcasing+a+ vulnerable+and+apologetic+Madonna+that+sounds+ rather+good+after+a+few+listens.+Although+not+ worthy+of+a+single,+this+is+the+kinda+song+that+holds + an+otherwise+non>cohesive+album+together.+Again,+ a+reference+to+Madonna's+2005+classic+`Sorry'+(`I'm + sorry,+Je+suis+desolee')+on+this+one. The+rest+of+the+album+boasts+of+some+catchy+club+ and+pop+cuts,+which,+in+spite+of+being+a+little+ hollow+and+devoid+of+the+slick+groove+of+a+dynamic+ club+anthem,+sound+just+fine.+Like+the+Martin+ Solveig+produced+`Turn+On+The+Radio`,+the+William+ orbit+produced+`Love+Spent`,+and+`I'm+A+Sinner`,+ that+sounds+like+a+throwback+to+her+1999+single+ `Beautiful+Stranger`. +`MDNA`+is+an+album+that+represents+fun.+After+a+ couple+of+listens,+it's+impossible+to+not+get+ addicted+to+some+of+the+tunes+on+the+album.+The+ very+fact+that+the+album+has+already+topped+every+ credible+chart+in+the+world+with+Madonna's+best+ first>week+sales+seen+since+2000ns+`Music`,+without+ any+promo+apart+from+the+Super+Bowl+ performance+shows+that+yet+again,+Mademoiselle+ Madonna+Louise+Ciccone+has+delivered. Overall,+`MDNA`+may+have+its+flaws.+Madonna's+ voice+may+not+sound+the+same+as+it+did+30+years+ ago.+The+music+maybe+calculative+and+ manipulative+under+a+general+veil+of+plasticity.+And + it+may+sound+far+less+triumphant+from+anything+ that+she's+ever+done+before.+In+short,+it's+not+a+ perfect+album.+But+`MDNA`s+sheer+energy+and+the+ unstoppable+Queen+Of+Pop's+shrewd+confidence+ makes+it+an+album+that's+rapturous,+euphoric+and+ fun,+and+there's+quite+literally+no+other+album+out+ there+that+sounds+anything+like+`MDNA`.+ In+short,+it's+a+true+Madonna+album+that+has+been+ created+with+an+agenda,+and+that+is+to+bend+the+ rules+with+a+defiant+display+of+the+middle>finger.+ She+did+it+back+then,+when+she+dared+to+break+the+ rules.+And+she's+still+doing+it+now,+30+years+after+ her+arrival.+Deal+with+it. TQC 20 TQC MAY12 21 KASHISH 2012 needs EVERYONE to contribute WHAT IS `KASHISH'? KASHISH Mumbai International Queer Film Festival is the first and only LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer) film festival in India to be held in a mainstream theater and the only such festival to receive clearance from the Ministry of Information and Broadcasting. The festival is organized by Solaris Pictures and Bombay Dost in association with The Humsafar Trust. The theme for the third edition of the festival, KASHISH 2012, to be held from May 23-27th is `FOR EVERYONE'. The festival will make a special effort to program films and have panel discussions that appeal not only to the LGBTQ community but also those that relate to families and friends of LGBT people. The festival is open FOR EVERYONE and it is a FREE event. With no government support or much corporate sponsor support, we rely heavily on individuals, organizations and corporates to make the festival happen. We are crowd-funding the festival this year through Wishberry and LGBT Supports. All the money collected is used to cover festival expenses like venue costs, printing and stationery, promotional materials, trophies and awards, travel and stay for filmmakers, etc. HOW CAN YOU HELP `KASHISH'? EVERYONE can contribute, to help us organize this festival that offers EVERYONE a better understanding about LGBTQ people, their issues, their pain and problems, their joys and victories; not only in India but across the world. You can support the cause in your own big or small way! We have some exclusive incentives to show our gratitude FOR EVERYONE who contributes. WHY IS `KASHISH' FUNDRAISING? The festival is a not-for-profit event. We don't charge ticket prices or registration fee. It is open to EVERYONE free of charge. Support 3rd KASHISH Mumbai International Queer Film Festival with a contribution � Personal contributions: http://www.wishberry.in/Kashish-International-Queer-Film-Festival-2012Personal-13359 � Corporate contributions: http://www.wishberry.in/Kashish-International-Queer-FilmFestival-2012-Corporate-13358 � Personal contributions http://www.lgbtsupports.org/kashish-mumbai-international-queer-filmfestival/ For more information about the festival visit Website: www.mumbaiqueerfest.com , Blog: http://kashishmiqff.blogspot.com , Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Kashish.MIQFF Twitter: http://twitter.com/Kashish2012 22 TQC The winner of the Kashish 2012 Poster Contest is S AYYAPPA, a young graphic design student from Vijayawada. THE FRONT ROW Summer Storm Summer+Storm+is+a+2004+German+coming>of>age+film+ directed+by+Marco+Kreuzpaintner.+The+story+is+set+to+the+ background+of+a+rowing+regatta,+which+climaxes+into+a+ summer+storm. Teams+from+all+across+Germany+descend+on+a+quiet+ camping+ground+for+a+week+of+training+leading+up+to+a+final+ rowing+competition.+The+plot+follows+the+members+of+the+ RSC+rowing+club+from+southern+Germany+as+they+train. The+boys+are+excited+by+the+prospects+of+camping+with+a+ female+rowing+team+from+Berlin.+However,+by+a+stroke+of+ fate,+the+Berlin+girls'+team+cancels+and+is+replaced+by+ Queerschlag+("Queerstrokes"),+a+gay+youth+rowing+team,+ and+these+boys+are+out+proud+and+camp+it+up+to+their+full+ potential. Amidst+the+sometimes+tense+interactions+between+the+ members+of+his+team+and+those+of+Queerschlag,+Tobi+is+ himself+forced+to+confront+his+long>time+feelings+for+his+ friend+and+team>mate+Achim,+who+is+already+romantically+ involved+with+his+girlfriend+Sandra.+Spurned+by+Achim,+Tobi+ is+devastated,+but+is+partly+consoled+by+his+new+friendship+ with+Queerschlag+member+Leo+. The+tension+between+the+members+of+the+two+teams+ culminates+in+a+scene+set+to+the+backdrop+of+a+summer+ storm,+during+which+Leo+confronts+Tobi+about+his+ homosexuality+in+front+of+his+fellow+team>mates.+Tobi+ denies+being+gay,+and,+in+an+attempt+to+defend+him,+one+of+ his+team>mates+tells+Tobi's+girlfriend+Anke+(Bachleda>Curu)+ to+tell+the+rest+of+his+team>mates+so.+Anke,+the+only+person+ to+whom+Tobi+has+confided+his+secret,+remains+silent. Ultimately,+Tobi+comes+out+to+his+fellow+team>mates+and+ his+rowing+team,+who+seem+to+accept+Tobi+no+matter+what,+ and+they+go+on+to+compete+with+Queerschlag+in+the+finals. 24 TQC Disclaimer:$The$photographs$and$video$are$used$only$ to$popularize$the$movie.$Content$is$copyrighted$and$ property$to$their$respective$owners. MAY12 25 for the morning after - SHRIMP SALAD WITH MANGO & AVOCADO 26 TQC Ingredients � 3+tablespoons+fresh+lime+juice � 2+tablespoons+vegetable+oil+ � 1+tablespoon+sugar+ � 2+large+firm>ripe+mangoes+(2+lbs.+ total)+ � 2+medium+firm>ripe+avocados+(1+ lb.+total)+ � 2/3+cup+each+thinly+sliced+green+ onion+and+chopped+cilantro+ � 1/2+tsp.+dried+red+chili+flakes � 1+pound+(70+to+110+per+lb.)+peeled+ cooked+shrimp+ Preparation& � In+a+large+bowl,+whisk+together+ lime+juice,+oil,+and+sugar+until+ sugar+dissolves. � Dice+mangoes+and+avocados+into+ 3/4>in.+cubes;+add+to+bowl.+ � Add+green+onion,+cilantro,+chile,+ and+shrimp.+ � Mix+gently.+Serve+or+cover+and+ chill+for+up+to+1+hour. TQC MAY12 27 ADVERTISEMENT