Metro Spirit 09.11.2003
The Metro Spirit is a free weekly newspaper that serves readers in the Augusta and North Augusta area. Editorial coverage includes Richmond County and Columbia County politics and events, arts, entertainment, people, places and events.
METRO SPIRIT Sept. 11-17, 2003 Vol. 15 No. 6 Augustaâ€™s Independent Voice Running Out of HOPE 2 LEARN, GROW, BECOME… M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 COURSES STARTING SOON! REGISTER NOW! TO RECEIVE A CATALOG OR TO REGISTER CALL 737-1636 WWW.CED.AUG.EDU …acquire the knowledge and skills that lead to more productive and satisfying lives... Accupressure: "Potent Points" Acting Workshop Adobe Illustrator Adobe Photoshop Advanced Beginning Golf Advanced Medical Coding Aquacise Beginning Arabic Language and Culture Beginning Ballroom Beginning Golf Beginning Photography Beginning Shag Business Writing Computer Based Real Estate Computer Literacy I Couples Massage Deep Water Aerobics Digital Photography for Beginners Drawing at the Morris Drivers Education Easy Conversation in Spanish First Aid for your Dogs and Cats Foreign Languages and Cultures How to Get People to Pay Ice Skating Intermediate Ballroom Intermediate Digital Photography Intermediate Investing Intermediate Shag I Intermediate Tai Chi Investing for Beginners Managing Problem Employees Medical Terminology Medical Coding Music Conservatory Online Spanish and French QuarkXpress SAT Review Scanner Basics Stained Glass Tai Chi I Writing the Story of Your Life Your Home Gym Residential • Office • Apartment • Moves 1211 New Savannah Road Augusta, GA 30901 Augusta: 706-312-3000 • Aiken: 803-649-4959 Fax: 706-312-3001 ❑ Complete Online Course Listing ❑ Go to: www.ed2go.com/augusta/ and click on ‘Courses’ for details 3 No Move Too Small THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART PRESENTS The Young Tennessee Singer-Songwriter Series For FOUR nights this fall, come hear FOUR fabulous young singer-songwriters from Nashville, Lookout Mountain, Chattanooga, and Knoxville, Tennessee. 2 1 1 Tuesday, September 16, 2003 Jennifer Daniels 3 Tuesday, October 14, 2003 Jodie Manross September 30, 2003 Tuesday, October 28, 2003 2 Tuesday, 4 Ben Elkins Steven Jackson 1 Tenth Street Augusta, GA. 30901 706-724-7501 www.themorris.org 4 Performances begin at 7:30 p.m. in the museum auditorium. Admission is $3 for adults, $2 for seniors, students, and military; free for museum members. Coffee-house style, smoke-free environment! Cash bar provided by Summerville Ace. Also view the current exhibition, A Century of Progress: Twentieth Century Painting in Tennessee through November 9. All You Can Eat Prime Rib & Seafood Buffet Making Sense of Eating Disorders: A Healthy Approach for Parents & Teens A community learning experience for both parents & teens presented by Christian R. Lemmon PhD, associate professor with the department of psychiatry, Director of the Eating Disorders Program of MCG. September 22 7-8:45 pm At Episcopal Day School Library 2230 Walton Way Friday & Saturday Night $21.95 Free & open to the public Includes All-You-Can-Eat Crab Legs The Church of the Good Shepherd 2230 Walton Way Augusta, Georgia Live Maine Lobster only $4 more For Reservations Call 2651 P ERIMETER PARKWAY • RESERVATIONS • (706) 855-8100 706-738-3386 ADVANCED SERVICES CUSTOMER SINCE 1999 “ Sean Kelley, Dearing, Ga. I’ve been using Advanced 3 or 4 years now. They originally treated the home for termites, then I thought, why not let them do it all? There’s never a smell ... I don’t have to meet anyone at the house, they just come and get it done and leave a note on my front door ... my guy is David Lively and he even gave me his home phone number and told me to call him if I ever had a problem. ” — Sean Kelley, Dearing, Ga. Augusta 737-4120 Martinez 860-0116 North Augusta 278-4338 Aiken 641-0144 WE ARE CURRENTLY SEEKING MORE TECHNICIANS LIKE DAVID LIVELY. CALL PAT FOR A CONFIDENTIAL INTERVIEW. 3 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 ELEMENT IS BIG ON FUNCTION. 4 Road trips. Mountain biking. Surfing. Camping. Extreme napping. Whatever you’re into, the Element will get you there and back, and be your base camp in between. 2003 Honda Element GERALD JONES HONDA 2003 Gordon Highway • 1-800-203-9371 • www.geraldjoneshonda.com JOIN US TO WALK ALL OVER HEART DISEASE AND STROKE September 27, 2003 presented by LOCATION: Doctors Hospital Cardiovascular disease is THE LEADING CAUSE OF DEATH in both men and women in Georgia, accounting for 1 OF EVERY 2 DEATHS. TO JOIN THE FIGHT CALL REGISTRATION: 9:00 am 855-5005 WALK: 9:30 am Participate. Raise Funds. Save Lives. Contents Metro Spirit All Rose Wedding Package $299 S E P T E M B E R 1 1 - 1 7 • F R E E W E E K LY • M E T R O S P I R I T. C O M ON THE COVER Running out of HOPE By Brian Neill ....................................................................19 The Creative Florist •1998 GA Designer of the Year • Delivering to the Entire CSRA • Specializing in European & Garden Designs • Weddings & Special Events • 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed Cover Design: Natalie Holle Photo: Brian Neill FEATURES Big Media Held at Bay ... At Least for Now By Brian Neill ...................................16 The Chicken People By Brian Neill .....................................................................23 THE CATHOLIC CHURCH OF THE MOST HOLY TRINITY Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults Opinion Whine Line ......................................................................6 Words ...............................................................................6 This Modern World .........................................................6 Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down ............................................8 Suburban Torture ............................................................8 Letter to the Editor .......................................................10 Insider ............................................................................11 • Are you looking for a new direction in your life? • Would you like to have a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ, in the theology and teaching of the Catholic Church? • Do you feel empty, wounded, or rest less in your spiritual life? Metro Beat • Are you interested in becoming a Catholic Christian? • Have you never been fully initiated into the Catholic faith through the Sacrament of Confirmation? • Are you a lukewarm Catholic who would like to be refreshed in Catholic truths? The “Fiasco” in the Tax Assessor’s Office .................12 Will the Augusta Lynx Survive? ..................................14 Events Arts Multiple-Artist Shows at Morris and Laney Museums..............................26 Multiple-Artist Shows at Morris and Laney Museums ......................................................................26 The 2003-2004 Theatre Season Has Begun! ...........34 For Pianist Marina Lomazov, Music Is Life ................35 Special Arts in the Heart Edition Next Week .............36 Cinema Movie Listings .............................................................37 Review: “Matchstick Men” ..........................................40 Close-Up: Alison Lohman ............................................41 Movie Clock ..................................................................42 Music Patrick Blanchard Muses about Music ........................43 The Future of DJ-ing .....................................................44 Music Minis ....................................................................45 Music by Turner ..............................................................46 Night Life .........................................................................47 Stuff News of the Weird ........................................................50 Brezsny's Free Will Astrology ......................................51 New York Times Crossword Puzzle ............................51 Amy Alkon: The Advice Goddess ................................52 Date Maker ...................................................................53 Classifieds .....................................................................55 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 1015 Georgia Ave • North Augusta • 278-4112 8 Days a Week .............................................................28 5 EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Kriste Lindler, Kristen Chandler PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith GR APHIC ARTISTS Stephanie Bell, Natalie Holle, Erin Lummen ASSISTANT TO THE PUBLISHER Meli Gurley ACCOUNTING MANAGER/CLASSIFIEDS Sharon King ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Lisa Jordan CIRCULATION DIRECTOR Meli Gurley SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chuck Shepherd, Rob Brezsny, Amy Alkon, Rachel Deahl CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow, Julie Larson METRO SPIRIT is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes ar ts, local issues, news, enter tainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metrospirit.com. Copyright © The Metropolitan Spirit Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809 If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, the R.C.I.A. process may be just what you are looking for. The R.C.I.A. (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) is a journey of the faith that offers you a challenge for a vibrant new spirituality in your life. The R.C.I.A. is about conversion and understanding the doctrines and the theology of the Catholic Church. It is a growing awareness of what Catholic’s believe and profess. It is an experience that calls for change; change that is rooted in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The R.C.I.A. is an opportunity to experience spirituality as you may have never experienced it before by sharing in the teachings and traditions of the Catholic Church. The R.C.I.A. process will help you to understand Catholic liturgy and worship and the Sacraments of the Church. For more information: Director of R.C.I.A. Church of the Most Holy Trinity P.O. Box 2446 Augusta, GA 30903 or email: email@example.com 706.722.4944 2 0 0 3 6 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 Whine Line K en Kraemer has been terribly wronged by the aviation commission! I hope he sues those boneheads on the board that put self-interest, petty micromanagement and ego above the welfare of this community. I pity that group of civic-minded folks who want to reverse the opinion of most citizens that our government is broke. What an impossible task they have! It’s either our commission or their appointed lackeys on local boards that perpetuate this embarrassment. I guess it’s past time for people who are tired of this nonsense to become political activists or, at the very least, dedicated voters. Many thanks for having the moral fortitude to boot Austin Rhodes. He’s hopefully a step or two from being banished from WGAC if they have even a fraction of your integrity. Hey, please tell me I’m not the only person who has been wishing on Mars for the last few weeks? Oh, to think of all those wasted wishes on a sorry red planet. I believe Larry Sconyers has a civic duty to save Augusta from four more years of the irrepressible Andy Cheek. The antics of Cheek and his “twin brother” Williams have got to stop. I am a former resident of the CSRA and cannot bear to read one more moronic, self-serving statement from either of the “twins.” Freddie Handy and Larry Sconyers would be a breath of fresh air ... after almost four years of suffocating rhetoric. Run Larry, run! Thank you. I stopped listening to Austin’s radio program over a year ago. I am a middle-aged woman and I have always thought Austin was a bigmouthed bigot. I thought experts all promoted exercise (especially walking) for pregnant women. Also what better way to take off those post-pregnancy pounds? While I certainly support reserving parking for those truly handicapped, this reserving parking spaces for pregnant women is taking political correctness too far. Next thing you know they’ll want to walk down the aisles breastfeeding. Doesn’t anyone else have rights? Having left “Disgusta” over one year ago, I have come to realize that there are places in the world that are nothing like the closed-minded, bitter drama queens located in your city. I must say I don’t miss the ignorance, the Masters traffic or the piles of trash that reside on every corner till Masters time. I also don’t miss the run-down ghettos, the bums wandering aimlessly, ruining the experience of your so-called eclectic downtown area. So let me get this straight. The Spirit used a cover story a month or two ago to talk about the drawbacks of a media market dominated by a single entity (Billy Morris). But then the Spirit’s WBBQ article comes out and it’s proudly crowing about how the station basically steam-rolled over their entire market with, in the Spirit’s cutesy words, “rockin” tunes, up-to-the-minute news and, Harley (Drew) added plenty of fun.” Seems like the Spirit doesn’t have a problem with a media monopoly as long as it’s not their competition. What a bunch of hypocrites. We used to look forward to Thursday so we could read Austin’s column during lunch. There is no one in Augusta who can replace him. He kept Augusta informed on all issues. Even my 80year-old mother is heartbroken. Please bring him back! The Metro Spirit has done a great service to our community with the removal of Austin Rhodes’ weekly column. Many persons in our area are working diligently to bring about racial harmony. This is a step forward — congratulations! Well, well, well. So you fired Austin. The truth is so hard for many people to stom- Words “Unfortunately, I learned today you have to advertise the public notice for two weeks, whether you increase the millage or not.” — Richmond County Tax Assessor Sonny Reece, as quoted in The Augusta Chronicle, on why he committed the oversight, causing a delay in county tax bills. Dude! How long you been there, Sonny? ach. Say all the negative things you like about Austin — he always tells the truth. He is not politically correct and, in this time, that should mean he wears a badge of honor! Shame, shame, shame on you, David Vantrease. You buckled to the low life. Austin, get the hell out of there to a major market where your talent belongs. Once I got through on the Austin radio show and told him he was an egotistical maniac. I got so tired of him constantly belittling people and talking like he was God among us ignorant morons. He hung up on me but continued to talk as if I was still connected to the show, thus assuring that he could do all the talking without further retaliation. What a neat trick, because it appears to radio listeners that the other party is still there but not giving any rebuttal. He then proceeded to say that I must be one of his ex-wives but, of course, I was not there to answer. “Death Penalties Overturned!” It’s simple to turn a death penalty opponent into a death penalty advocate. Let them or one of their loved ones become a violent crime victim! Someone last week whined, “Why can’t Columbia County get some decent restaurants in Evans, besides the usual drive thrus?” Gosh, I guess your gas budget is too taxed by the, oh, twominute drive to big ol’ Martinez, where you can eat Italian or French. If you’re not into cuisine, why not try Mexican or an Asian buffet. Egad, maybe you’ll have to undergo the gut-wrenching, 10-minute (gasp!) drive closer to Augusta. Do everyone a favor: If you run out of hot dogs at the lake, don’t whine about it in the Spirit. Thanks. While Austin Rhodes was gone on vacation and Frank Spears was the host, we heard a sensible and levelheaded program. Why does the radio station keep such an obviously unstable person on the air? There are many more qualified to provide a forum for honest and reasonable discussion of events and topics. Austin’s personal problems get in the way of a fair and balanced view on his program. The radio station needs to take a hint from the Metro Spirit and say, “Adios Austin.” continued on page 8 HISTORIC DOWNTOWN AIKEN Features A Once a Month Art Walk From 6 pm to 9pm September 18 October 16 November 20 December 18 January 15 Rabold Gallery 146A Laurens Street SW 803-641-4405 February 19 March 18 April 15 May 20 Aiken Center for the Arts and Aiken Artist Guild 122 Laurens Street SW 803-641-9094 The Jackson Gallery 300 Park Avenue SE 803-648-7397 Studio 143 SW 143 Laurens Street SW The Arnold Gallery 321 Richland Avenue West 803-502-1100 Loft Studios 116 Laurens Street SW Artists’ Parlor Craft Gallery 126 Laurens Street NW 803-648-4639 Courtyard Studio 137 Laurens Street NW Southern Moon Pottery 310 Richland Avenue West 803-641-2309 Connie’s Framing 3331/2 Park Avenue SW 803-643-3696 TA X - F R E E * TIMES You are cordially invited to receive a 90-day THE TAX-FREE TIMES. This publication discusses the bond market, upcoming new issues and currently attractive local tax-free municipal bonds offered by our firm. To receive The Tax-Free Times, simply mail the coupon below or call. Your subscription will begin immediately. No other action is necessary. Sandra Gurley, Financial Consultant (706) 724-2601 • (800) 241-2401 firstname.lastname@example.org Sandra Gurley Smith Barney 1 10th St., Ste 600 Augusta, Ga 30901 The Tax-Free Times. _______________________________________________________________________ Name _______________________________________________________________________ Address _______________________________________________________________________ ART AFTER HOURS Logo By Chris Cardelli State Zip _______________________________________________________________________ Home Phone Business Phone ©2003 Citigroup Global Markets Inc. Member SIPC. Smith Barney is a division and service mark of Citigroup Global Markets Inc. and its affiliates and is used and registered throughout the world. CITIGROUP and the Umbrella Device are trademarks and service marks of Citicorp or its affiliates and are used and registered throughout the world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❏ YES! Please send me a complimentary 90-day subscription to City M E T R O S P I R I T complimentary subscription to ... Mail to: 7 The people here made me strong... they never gave up on me. Emmanuel, artist ;;;2-).!)%+F")+,(!'&2*#!$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ <=>2?@?@$A$?<=>$B"##&#%$C)'-$A$/D:D+!'9 E/ 8 M E T R O Style is in Full Bloom... ! New Monday • 7:30pm Channel 4 S P I R I T ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 I N The Forget-Me-Not A U G U S T A The Augusta Players PRESENT Grease Her four hand engraved petals reach for the morning sun...holding a magnificent Doris HeartStar diamond, proudly proclaiming the will of his heart.. The Forget-Me-Not will accommodate a center diamond from .50 to 1ct and features a matching platinum wedding band. Platinum The Southern Soul & Song Concert Series Magnolias Flowers TM Of The Old South See the entire Collection of Classic Hand Engraved Engagement Rings and Antique Reproductions in the Southern Tradition Priced from $1295 and available exclusively from.... featuring Ricky Scaggs presented by The Imerial Theatre & The Morris Museum of Art The Saturday Farmers Market on Broad plus future plans for the Augusta Common Musical Guest Jennifer Daniels from The Young Tennessee Singer/Songwriter Series Call in your questions & comments to 739-1822 or e-mail at email@example.com Fine Jewelers & Diamond Merchants Replays: Daily at 12 Noon, 3pm, and 10:30pm on Since 1940 Channel 66 2820 Washington Rd. 10am-6pm Monday-Saturday Closed Sundays 733-6747 or 800-798-6747 Member American Gem Society Suburban Torture BY JULIE continued from page 6 I see you got rid of Austin. A big mistake. Notice you still have “This Modern World” which is a leftist/liberal cartoon much worse than Austin. Don’t think I’ll be reading your rag anymore. You’re just kissing the blacks’ butts. Goodbye Austin. Now if WGAC and Comcast Connect Live would follow suit, you could stay in Alpharetta and try to repair your self-absorbed life. Thank you Metro Spirit. Maybe you started a trend. I had the privilege of listening to two liberal Democrats bemoaning the great divide in their party the other day and the lack of legitimate candidates in the whole lot. But what really struck me was the comment by one that the Bush tax cut of $300 ($600 for married folks) was just wasted by those who received it. I would just like to say I appreciated my refund and wasted it on clothes for the kids, a meaningless trip to the grocery store, and a quiet night out with the missus. So, basically, what it boils down to is everyone is entitled to an opinion unless you are Austin Rhodes. How unfortunate that his comments will be squelched because they aren’t popular opinion. His columns were the only reason I read the Spirit because they were honest and informative. I was so glad to see the Metro Spirit call attention to police random stops in the Thumbs Down section. What would happen if the whines were completely filled with whines just like this one, I just wonder? These “safety” checkpoints are a violation of our Fourh Amendment rights. If the cops have so little to do, I suggest the RCSD face some layoffs like everyone else. The RCSD has no desire to do anything about serious crime and it uses the threat of serious crime to extort more and more tax dollars from us for ever-growing police budgets. I applaud the excellent article “Say Good-Bye to Austin Rhodes” in the Metro Spirit of August 28. This accurate analysis of Austin Rhodes is especially refreshing because it comes from within the media … Thanks for dismissing Rhodes. I just hope this is the beginning of the end for Austin in print, radio and television. As I recall, Rep. Ben Harbin and Sen. Joey Brush were office mates with former Rep. Robin Williams. Since Williams appears to be in deep doo-doo regarding the East Central Georgia Mental Health Center, will Harbin and Brush be included in the investigation? What a beautiful thought: The FBI convicts both formers Rep. Robin Williams and Sen. Charles Walker of their potential wrongdoings, the court system finds them guilty and they’re both sent to prison sharing the same cell. That way, they could reminisce the past and plot the future like the good ‘ol days! To Mr. David Vantrease — I am sorry you have chosen to remove Austin Rhodes’ columns from your publication. I have enjoyed his work very much over the years. Austin has taught me more Augusta politics than any other person or publication in this area, including your own. He has shown me one of Augusta’s most pressing problems today — a large city with a true tunnel vision, small-town mindset. I am proud that we have other avenues to still enjoy and learn from someone who is not afraid to state the LARSON Thumbs Up That the new and improved, and dry, First Friday went off without a hitch. City officials were wise to remove alcohol con- tainers from the hands of besotted rapscallions. Way to go. Thumbs Down Ken Kraemer’s recent announcement that, out of spite, he will begin working against the Augusta Regional Airport, where he was fired as director, is a real stomach-turner. How pathetic is this guy? Kraemer actually had some of the airport’s aviation commissioners on his side and there was a possible coup afoot to return him to his position. Then he comes out in the daily paper with this zany plan to go to Washington and lobby against our airport getting federal grants. This isn’t burning bridges, it’s nuking them, and someone of such supposed professional stock should know better. Take off Ken. Maybe there’s an opening in Thailand, since you like to go there so much. You’re done here. way he sees things. I have been a faithful reader of your publication from the onset. I am deeply disappointed that you obviously do not believe in freedom of speech and freedom of the press and you think your readers are so stupid not to understand the disclaimer at the end of Austin’s column. Austin Rhodes is the perfect poster boy for what’s wrong in Augusta today. Thanks Metro Spirit for taking a stand, even if it was a day late. How is it that University Hospital’s clinic in Evans broke ground in April and the construction is already farther ahead than the ANIC building on Laney-Walker that has been in the works for over a year and a half? The clinic is bigger and more complex, yet it has walls and a roof! I guess it didn’t rain in Evans this summer, just downtown. Now that Austin Rhodes is gone and this paper is sooooooo liberal left, about the only thing the Spirit is good for is a cheap toilet paper substitute. Can’t say I’m sorry to see Austin Rhodes gone. Getting him out of the Spirit is rather like taking out the garbage. However, I was eagerly looking forward to his column on “the sanctity and integrity of marriage.” We can thank Don Grantham for the dysfunctional, do-nothing city commission we live with today. He and his long-time pal, Charles Walker, didn’t like the consolidation charter Augusta voters approved in two public referenda, so they concocted a plan of their own. Grantham invited a handful of Augusta’s powerbrokers to a secret meeting in his office on Thanksgiving Day, 1993, and negotiated the current city-county consolidation charter for Boss Walker. We all know how that fiasco turned out. We should not reward Grantham for what he did to our town by reinstalling him in a commission seat where he can wheel and deal like he did before. Remember that the voters in District 7 tossed him out over his wheeling and dealing. Here’s two more Thumbs Down in regards to all these “checkpoints” being utilized by local law enforcement. I’m sick coming up on these Gestapo-tactic roadblocks when I’m just trying to get home. No, I’m not drunk, and my “papers are in order,” so why should I and 20 other cars have to wait for a German Shepherd police dog to sniff over the car at the front of the line? What’s next? Will we be required to give a “sieg heil” salute as we drive away? Metro Spirit editor David Vantrease, I think it was rather underhanded the way you schnook Austin Rhodes the way you did. Here he was doing his job, pointing out the sorry among us of all colors: the crooked, the unqualified, the inept and the self-serving politicians. The sorry parents who expected Uncle Sam, the schools and the rest of us to raise their sorry progeny. These sorry deadbeats who always seem to have their hand out —yet always seem to have enough money of their own for beer, lottery tickets, cable TV and cigarettes. Those uninterested in obtaining an education — yet are content with imposing their sorry lot in life upon the rest of us. I read his Spirit opinion pieces with an open mind and, lo, I found that I agreed with him on his points a lot more often than not. Well, your weekly freep is the poorer for it. I’ll still read it, but I just feel that you’ve somehow caved in to mediocrity. What I Know Can Help You A Certified Insurance Counselor, Jeff Banks has over 28 years of experience in insurance. Whether for your home, auto, life, or business. Find out for yourself how Jeff can help. Ask him. He knows insurance. SANFORD, BRUKER & BANKS I B To quote Bill O’Reilly of Fox News: “And I said on my program, if, if the Americans go in and overthrow Saddam Hussein and it’s clear he had nothing, I will apologize to the nation, and I will not trust the Bush administration again.” — March 18, 2003. I was disappointed to learn that Austin Rhodes would no longer be writing his column for the Metro Spirit. In order for the public to make intelligent decisions, it is necessary to have information and opinions on both sides of the issues. While I did not always agree with Mr. Rhodes, I could always count on him to inform the public of important developments affecting our lives in the CSRA. It is sad that so many people are unwilling to listen to, or tolerate, opinions that may differ from their own. It will be even sadder to have Metro Spirit, “Augusta’s Independent Voice,” become another run-of-the-mill media outlet, unwilling to print controversial opinions or to promote independent thinking. As the great Supreme Court justice Oliver Wendell Holmes stated about the limits of free speech: “A person cannot stand up in a crowded movie house and yell, ‘fire’ when there is no fire. That person threatens the well-being of all people.” And, thus, Austin Rhodes threatens the well-being of all Augusta. Instead of promoting racial and ethnic harmony, Rhodes consistently strove toward racial division with his ridiculing manner, his use of oversimplified racial stereotypes and his myriad half-truths. His dismissal by the Metro Spirit is an act of courage to be applauded by the entire community. Editor’s note: Due to the overwhelming number of comments we have received regarding our decision to discontinue Austin Rhodes’ column, we cannot publish all of the remarks. We have published several this week and last week that represent both sides of the issue. The majority of responses received were in favor of removing Rhodes from our editorial mix by approximately a 10-1 ratio. Since everything that can be said about our decision has been said, continued publication of whines on the subject would be tiresome and redundant. We are moving on and will not continue to publish whines concerning the issue. Thank you for your input. — Call our Whine Line at 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 733-6663 or e-mail your whines to firstname.lastname@example.org. NSURANCE AND ONDS SINCE 1921 931 Broad Street, Augusta • 724-2452 www.sanfordbrukerbanks.com al gic Ma pets Pup Chin Dra ese gon s Arts in the Heart of Augusta Children’s Stage September 19-21, 2003 ine Div ers c Dan Children 10 & under Free! www.augustaarts.com No Pets or Coolers! Ch ild Pla ren’s ys Football Tailgating Specials Call for Details Saturday Morning Down Home Breakfast Saturday Nights 12 oz. Pit Cooked Rib Eye $1.50 BBQ Sandwich 615 East Martintown Rd • North Augusta • 279-0288 • Fax 279-0242 Take the 1st North Augusta exit off Aiken-Augusta Hwy Come up till you see our sign on the right - just look for the smoke! Tues-Sat 10-9 • Close at 4pm Wednesday YOU CAN SMELL OUR BUTTS FOR MILES! 9 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 10 M E T R O S P I R I T CLOSING YOUR POOL? Complete Winterizing Save 10 to 15% Pool Accessories Call The Pool Man S E P T Charles Evans Pools 1 1 476 Flowing Wells Road, D1 • Martinez, GA 30907 • 706-364-0731 2 0 0 3 • Construction • Full Line Chemicals, Accessories, Parts & Supplies • Liner Replacement • Service & Repair • Pool Cleaning Covenant Presbyterian Church “ THERE’S SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE” Sunday Services 8:30 am Communion 9:45am Church School 11:00am Worship Wednesday Night 6:00pm 6:30pm Bring Your Own Sack Supper Bible Study Nursery provided for all church events Rev. Rob Watkins, Pastor 3131 Walton Way (Corner of Walton Way & Aumond Rd) 733-0513 A PC (USA) Congregation Letter to the Editor Open Container Ordinance Doesn’t Address Real Problem Dear Editor, Stacey Eidson’s Metro Spirit article concerning the new ordinance prohibiting open containers of alcohol in public was balanced and well-written. However, after reading the article it was clear to me that the downtown advisory panel did not have the intestinal fortitude to travel on the high road of public safety, but elected to travel on the low road of expediency and hypocrisy. According to the article, the advisory panel believes this new open container policy will prevent a person from consuming too much alcohol on public streets, thus making downtown safer for everyone. To the gullible, this sounds reasonable. But will this ordinance prevent a person from consuming too much alcohol in a downtown restaurant, then engaging in unruly, rowdy behavior on a public street? The answer is no! So just what cause does the new ordinance serve? In my opinion, the new ordinance serves the cause of expediency and hypocrisy by attempting to paint downtown Augusta with a veneer of puritanical respectability while ignoring the real basic cause, which is alco- hol abuse. People consuming too much alcohol leads to unruly, rowdy behavior. However, paying homage to the almighty dollar superseded a genuine concern for public safety. For example, two downtown advisory panel members own establishments that serve alcohol. Since they both agree that alcohol can lead to unruly, rowdy behavior, their establishments could simply not serve alcohol. Furthermore, the Rev. Mark Harris of Curtis Baptist Church (advisory panel member) should preach enough guilt-inducing sermons concerning alcohol consumption so that church members who consume alcohol would be convicted and repent. In this way the advisory panel members would have simultaneously diminished the supply and demand of alcohol. By cleaning up their own house, advisory panel members would have set an example for others to follow. That is called taking the high road. However, the Augusta Commission and the downtown advisory panel elected to take the profitable low road and impose their hypocrisy, in the form of an ordinance, on the citizens of Augusta. — Kevin Palmer Opinion: Insider Mike Annis Named Judge, Faces Election in 2004 W hen Superior Court Judge Lyn Allgood resigned his position in June, his exit set off a series of events that has intrigued local politicians, judges and lawyers for months. Speculation about who would be chosen to replace Allgood has run rampant in political circles while judicial wannabes clamored to make their case to Republican Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue and anybody else who would listen, especially local Republicans. The short list submitted to Perdue by the Judicial Nomination Commission, headed by former Attorney General Mike Bowers, contained the names of five local attorneys: District Attorney Mike Annis Danny Craig, Richmond County Solicitor Sheryl Jolly, City Attorney Jim Wall, Bill Sams and Mike Annis, a partner with Huguenin, Annis, and Lewis law firm. As reported by The Insider Craig and Danny Craig Jolly never had a chance because of their strong Democrat credentials. Wall and Sams are not actively engaged in the Republican Party so there was little support for them. Annis is the only one of the five Sheryl Jolly who is currently active within the party. He’s the new judge. It had to be. Local Republicans were miffed that the list contained two Democrats and they were perplexed at the selection process on which their new governor embarked. After much handwringing and discussion with the governor’s minions their message finally made it through. Local Republicans rallied around Annis. They got their Republican judge and Perdue saved face. Annis will be sworn in this month and must run for election in November 2004. Many people are already encouraging Jolly to challenge Annis in 2004. Craig’s name has also surfaced as a possible candidate. Either Craig or Jolly could decide to run against Annis. Only one of them would take on Annis because they are good friends and would never run against each other. An interesting development may be in the works. Superior Court Judge Albert Pickett has told several people he may ask for senior status rather than qualifying to run for reelection to his post. If that happens, another judicial position opens up and both Craig and Jolly may have an opportunity to run for judge. Craig and Jolly are both qualified to become judge. The politics of the judicial selection process has occupied the last few months. In early 2004 the politics of the November judicial election will come into focus. It could be very interesting. More later. Sconyers Disappoints As of Friday, Sept. 6, former Mayor Larry Sconyers was telling friends he was 99.9 percent sure that he would run for the District 6 Augusta Commission seat held by Andy Cheek. After a weekend to think it over, he stated on Monday that he will not run. Friends and supporters were very disappointed because many voters want Cheek out. Looks like Andy has four more years and Sconyers can stick to making barbecue and tending to his family. One question that has arisen among politicos is why Sconyers allowed friends to think he would run when, actually, he always knew there was a good chance he wouldn’t enter the race. Lulled into complacency by the potential candidacy of the Barbecue King, southsiders slowed down their attempts to continue recruiting a challenger to Cheek. They regret that now. As The Insider goes to press, the Friday, Sept. 12 qualifying deadline for the commission election is rapidly approaching. We’ll have more information next week concerning the upcoming election. What Was He Thinking? Augusta Regional Airport Director screwed up royally when he went public with his avowed intentions to cause problems for Augusta by thwarting federal grants earmarked for Augusta Regional. In case you missed Ken Kraemer it, Kraemer was fired from his position in a contentious meeting and vote by the Augusta Aviation Commission. Led by Commissioners Cedric Johnson and Marcie Wilhelmi, those who wanted to oust Kraemer pulled off a political coup that resulted in Kraemer’s firing, the resignation of one board member and angry feelings among all those who supported Kraemer. Those supporters attempted to rally around Kraemer and even talked of bringing him back. Meanwhile Kraemer pursued his legal options. Public sentiment appeared to be turning in Kraemer’s favor until he made stupid comments about his attempt to block funds from coming to Augusta. This incensed his supporters, played into the hands of those who ousted him, and positioned Kraemer as a spiteful, crybaby-wimp. Dumb idea. Ken, don’t let the door hit you on the way out. It’s over for you here, no question. —The views expressed in this column are the views of The Insider and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. GENTLEMEN’S WARDROBE PACKAGES FALL 2003 timeless THE HOLIDAY 2002 SUIT AND SHIRT PACKAGES 11 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 We are pleased to offer the following clothing packages for Fall 2003 – until Oct. 31, 2003. 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LET US EXTEND TO YOU THE PRIVILEGE OF JOINING OUR CLIENTS WHO APPRECIATE WEARING EXQUISITELY TAILORED CLOTHING – ALL AT A SPECIAL VALUE YOU WILL FIND NOWHERE ELSE. 3604 Verandah Drive Augusta, GA 30909-4597 (706) 733-6203 12 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 MetroBeat The “Fiasco” in the Tax Assessor’s Office By Stacey Eidson T he shortfall in the 2003 tax digest and the resulting net loss of approximately $1.5 million in anticipated revenue for this year’s budget was not a result of problems experienced in the tax assessor’s office just this past year. According to Richmond County Chief Appraiser Sonny Reece, the department’s problems date back at least three years prior to the Augusta-Richmond County Board of Assessors hiring him as head of the department in August 2000. “The reason how we got in the position we are in, started in 1997 and early 1998,” Reece told members of the Augusta Commission’s finance committee on Sept. 8. “The bottom line was our old system in the tax assessor’s office was not Y2K compliant.” In 1998, the city contracted with a company to provide the tax assessor’s office with a new system, called CAMAS (Computer Aided Migration of Applications System). The system was supposed to be installed by June 1999, but the private company never delivered on its promise. By January 2000, the project was called off and shortly after, the computer company filed for bankruptcy. In order to handle the department’s Y2K problem, the city’s information technology department was forced to roll back the clocks on the tax assessor’s computers in order to complete the data entry for the 2000 digest. Ultimately, Reece explained, the tax assessor’s office was told that the city could not afford to spend approximately $2 million on a new CAMAS system. “So, IT (information technology), the tax assessor’s office and the Department of Revenue had to go find a band-aid cure,” Reece said. “Due to the lack of money, they decided to go with another DOS system known as GAP. ... GAP is primarily a CAMAS system that was developed for rural, less urbanized counties than we are. That system was put in and unfortunately it cannot hold all of the data that was in our old system.” Information technology was forced to pull only the pertinent information, or as Reece described it, the “skin and bones” from the department’s former computer system. That was the state of the department when he arrived in August 2000, Reece said. By 2001, the tax assessor’s office received a Windows version of the GAP system, but problems continued to occur with the data entry. Oftentimes, Reece said, data would be “I assure you it will not happen again.” – Richmond County Chief Appraiser Sonny Reece entered, only to subsequently vanish. “We even had to start working in teams because information would be put in on, say, Tuesday and by Wednesday afternoon ... it had disappeared,” Reece said. Finally in April 2002, the commission authorized the city to purchase the necessary hardware needed for the tax assessor’s office to function, Reece said. Only then did the department discover several problems in the tax assessor’s data such as commercial and industrial sketches that were missing or incomplete and calculated land values that did not match up. All of these computer troubles were compounded when the tax assessor’s office also experienced some internal procedure problems, Reece said. According to his Sept. 8 report to commissioners, Reece stated, “procedures for correcting data and working appeals were not fol- lowed as instructed.” Reece added that the department’s computer problems “further inflated values of commercial improvements as the result of duplicating and/or adding back improvements that had been properly deleted by staff without our knowledge.” It wasn’t until July, Reece said, that he discovered the shortfall in estimated projections for the 2003 tax digest. Just prior to Reece’s report, the commission learned from the finance department that the city could manage the revenue shortfall by continuing for the remainder of the year its “manpower management plan,” which states the city will only hire critical positions that are currently vacant in the government. However, commissioners also learn that their budget worries are far from over. The finance department is projecting a $4.8 million budgetary shortfall in 2004. Augusta Mayor Bob Young said it was time for the commission to stop the “fiasco” in the tax assessor’s office. “We are well aware that we have for some time now been spending a lot of time putting out fires in the tax assessor’s office,” Young said. “But I think we’ve got a three-alarm blaze burning here.” Young said that Reece’s so-called “corrective action plan” for his department, suggesting, among other things, that the commission should plan for no growth in the 2004 digest and consider spending at least $3 million of sales tax money on upgrading the department’s computer system, wasn’t much of a plan. “Sonny, with all due respect, you come in here with these corrective actions and I really see nothing that addresses the problems that we have here,” Young said. Young said the Board of Assessors has some serious explaining to do. “Your board has been missing in action,” Young said to Reece. “We haven’t heard from them at all. You come up here and you’re the apologist for that department. It’s clear to me that we need to take another look at that department.” Three members of the board were present at the meeting and explained that they, too, were concerned about the reports coming out of the tax assessor’s office. “I’ve been on the board for 14 years and we’ve had some of the same problems 14 years ago,” said board member Tracy Williams. “I have seen this day coming, yet I didn’t think it was coming so soon.” In order to get to the heart of the problem, Young suggested to members of the finance committee that they adopt a resolution requesting that the Georgia Department of Revenue conduct a performance review of the assessor’s office and the Board of Assessors. Augusta Commissioner Marion Williams agreed the commission needed answers because he couldn’t understand how, after serving on the commission for four years, this was the first time he had heard about the troubles in the tax assessor’s office. Reece explained that, since these problems existed prior to his hiring in 2000, he simply assumed the commission was aware of the department’s computer problems. “It was my understanding that there was no way that money could be budgeted and we were going to have to make do with what we have,” Reece said. Williams was baffled. “Who’d you get that understanding from?” he asked. “The administration,” Reece responded. City Administrator George Kolb, who was seated directly in front of Reece, did not comment. “Well, that answers my question,” Williams said. While Augusta Commissioner Bobby Hankerson said he was extremely concerned about the shortfall in the 2003 tax digest, he was also disappointed to hear that Reece was unaware that he had to advertise the tax digest at least two weeks in advance of delivering it to the Department of Revenue. As a result, the vote the commission took on Aug. 25 not to raise the millage rate is invalid. The commission will have to readopt the millage rate on Sept. 19. “I mentioned in the last meeting, I didn’t want to have any surprises ... but it seems like I got two surprises,” Hankerson said, referring to the digest’s shortfall and the second vote on the millage rate. Reece apologized for the mistake in advertising the digest. “I was told since we were not recommending an increase in the millage rate, we would not have to advertise two weeks in advance,” Reece said. It wasn’t until he was sitting in the Atlanta offices of the Department of Revenue that he was informed of his mistake. “I assure you it will not happen again,” Reece said. Hankerson said he would hope not. The committee unanimously agreed the city should request a performance review of the department by the Department of Revenue. “Let’s bring some finality to this,” Young said. “Let’s move beyond these fires that we keep putting out in the assessor’s office.” DUI Free Phone Call William Sussman ———ATTORNEY AT LAW ——— 347 Greene Street • Augusta, Georgia (706) 724-3331 Jammin’ with Patrick Blanchard See page 43 13 HEALTH PAGE M E T R O Take care of yourself. Let University help. Understanding Mammography “HealthTalk” on WGAC-580 AM Tune in on Monday, Sept. 15, at 8:30 a.m. to hear Alice David, M.D., a board-certified oncologist on University’s medical staff, discuss prostate cancer. Food, Fit and Fun An after-school group nutrition program for ages 12-17 Holly Ford, nutritionist Mondays, Sept. 15, 22, 29 3:45-6 p.m. Weight Management and Nutrition Center Includes group sessions with dietitian and behaviorist, supervised exercise and individual instruction for parent and adolescents. To learn more about this program, call 706/774-2956. HEALTH NEWS University Health Care System has three FREE newsletters to serve as your resource for healthy living. Get important information on health issues concerning you and your family, special events and classes throughout the year. Sign up for Vitality, a publication of University Seniors Club for men and women 50 and older, Check Up, a general family health publication and Uniquely You, with articles specific to women’s needs. To subscribe to any of these newsletters, please call 706/736-0847. SENIORS CLUB If you are 50 or older, we invite you to join University Seniors Club. The club offers programs and benefits such as health education and screening opportunities, a FREE monthly newsletter, social events, benefits within University Hospital and much more. For information on how to join the Seniors Club, call 706/738-2580. University Hospital has been voted “Favorite Family Hospital” in 2003 by readers of Family Chronicles, a publication of The Augusta Chronicle. Thank you C.S.R.A.! F OR FREE 24- HOUR Mammograms are the most effective tool for discovering breast cancer early. Yet, less than half of the women in our community who need mammograms actually get them. Breast cancer is easiest to treat when discovered early. That’s why mammography is so important. Mammograms can detect lumps years before they can be felt in a clinical or breast self-exam. If followed by appropriate treatment, mammography can also prevent thousands of breast cancer deaths each year. According to the American Cancer Society (ACS), one in eight American women will develop breast cancer in her lifetime, and one in 33 will die of the disease. The ACS recommends the following guidelines for early detection of breast cancer: Screening guidelines • Women 20 and older should perform a breast self-exam every month • Women ages 20-39 should have a clinical breast exam every three years • Women 40 and older should have a screening mammogram every year and clinical breast exams every three years. Women with a family history of breast cancer should check with their physicians about mammography scheduling. Watch for these symptoms Women should also know and look for symptoms of breast cancer. They include: • Lump or thickness in the breast • Swelling of part of the breast • Skin irritation or dimpling • Nipple pain or the nipple turning inward • Redness or scaliness of the nipple or breast skin • Nipple discharge other than breast milk • Lump in the underarm area If you find a lump in your breast, see your physician immediately. Although eight out of 10 breast lumps are non-cancerous, every lump should be examined. 2 0 0 3 University’s Mobile Mammography Unit Mobile Mammography Screenings Sponsored by the Jernigan Cancer Center All screenings will be held from 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Appointments required. Please call 706/774-8900. Sept. 9 Prompt Care – South Richmond County 3121 Peach Orchard Road Sept. 23 Wal-Mart Bobby Jones Expressway Sept. 29 Publix 2816 Washington Road Oct. 6 Rich’s – Augusta Mall Oct. 17 First Baptist Church – North Augusta 602 Georgia Avenue Oct. 20 Rich’s – Augusta Mall **Mobile Mammography for Seniors Oct. 22 9 a.m.–1 p.m. University Seniors Club, Daniel Village Shopping Center Yearly mammograms are free through Medicare. Appointment required. Call 706/774-4145. Your resource for healthy living. Lunch with the Doctor “Memory Loss: Are You Losing Yours?” Sherry Barinowski, M.D. Sept. 26 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. University Hospital dining rooms 1-3 FREE for Seniors Club members, $8 for nonmembers Seating limited to 80. Reservations required. Call 706/738-2580. “To Sleep – Perchance to Dream” Michael S. Haynes, M.D. Sept. 29 Registration and dinner: 5:30 p.m. Program: 6 p.m. First Baptist Church, Augusta Activities Building $8 for Seniors Club members, $9 advanced registration, $10 at the door Reservations required. Call 706/736-0847. “Focus on Healing” Educational program through dance and movement for breast cancer survivors. Sponsored by Walton HEALTH INFORMATION , CALL completion of this class. Space is limited to 24. Reservations are required and will be taken beginning Sept. 2 (Oct. 1). Call 706/738-2580 or 800/413-6652. Rehabilitation Hospital and University Breast Health Center Tuesdays, Sept. 30-Nov. 4 6-7 p.m. Outpatient Classroom, Walton Rehabilitation Hospital $30 for six-week session To register, call 706/823-5294. SUPPORT GROUPS HEALTH SCREENINGS “Living Well with Diabetes” Adult Support Group Sept. 11 5 p.m. University Hospital cafeteria or area restaurant For location and more information, call 706/774-5798. FREE Pulmonary Function Screening Sept. 16 1-3 p.m. University Hospital Asthma Clinic University Hospital Cardiopulmonary Rehabilitation Center off R.A. Dent Boulevard Appointments required. For more information, call 706/774-5696. Prostate Cancer Sept. 18 7-8:30 p.m. University Seniors Club, Daniel Village Shopping Center Reservations required. For more information, call Robert H. Graves at 706/364-6684. SENIORS CLUB AARP Safe Driving Course Sept. 23-24 5 p.m.-9:30 p.m. University Seniors Club, Daniel Village Shopping Center $10 Many insurance companies give a discount for the successful ASK•A•NURSE AT S E P T 1 1 For more information, call University’s Breast Health Center at 706/774-4141. EDUCATION S P I R I T 737-8423 (SER-VICE) Parkinson’s Disease Sept. 23 5 p.m. St. John Towers 724 Greene St. For more information, call 706/863-6355. OR 800/476-7378 (SERV) TODAY ! 14 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 Metro Beat Will the Augusta Lynx Survive? B ack in September 1999, before the now-dormant Augusta Stallions even began its first season of arena football, the owners of the Stallions and the Augusta Lynx hockey team were fighting over the advertising rights to the civic center’s arena and concourse. Initially, when the Lynx first came to Augusta for the 1998 season, the hockey team offered the civic center a $50,000 proposal to purchase the exclusive advertising rights inside the civic center. But by 2000, the Augusta-Richmond County Coliseum Authority and the Lynx came up with another version of the deal. The authority voted to give the hockey team the right to sell commercial signage in the civic center with the profits being divided between the two parties, the Lynx receiving 65 percent of the revenue and the authority receiving 35 percent. That arrangement didn’t sit well with Frank Lawrence, owner of the arenafootball2 franchise, when his Augusta Stallions came on the scene. Lawrence told the authority that just because the hockey team was the first to become a tenant in the civic center, that shouldn’t automatically give them exclusive advertising rights. In fact, Lawrence told the authority members in September 1999 that it would be wise for the board to take control of the advertising itself. “I think you really should consider selling the advertising in the coliseum yourself,” he said. “It’s certainly lucrative.” My how times have changed. Now that Lawrence and the Lynx are friends and he has become a member of a group of local investors known as the Augusta Entertainment Corp. LLC interested in purchasing the Augusta Lynx for $1.1 million, it seems that the hockey team is deserving of exclusive advertising rights inside the civic center’s arena after all. In fact, if the Lynx aren’t given permission by the authority to continue selling the arena’s advertising at a mutually beneficial revenue arrangement, attorneys representing both the Lynx and the Augusta TAN By Stacey Eidson Entertainment Corp. are warning that their deal will fall apart. And without the Lynx’s buyout, the future of the hockey team could be in serious jeopardy. Matthew Bryant, an attorney for the Lynx, told the coliseum authority on Sept. 9 that the hockey team desperately needed a definitive answer from the board concerning the advertising arrangement. “We have a pending sale of this team for a very significant price to a local owner and the deal is done,” Bryant said. “We want to sell; they want to buy, but we can’t do that until we resolve the issue of selling permanent signage in the arena.” In the final hours of the contract negotiations, Bryant said he had been informed that the authority was interested in renegotiating the terms of the ad agreement. That news caused members of the Augusta Entertainment Corp. to become extremely nervous about buying the hockey team if the franchise’s historic revenue stream was going to be changed at the last minute. “My client (the Lynx) has been selling permanent advertising in this building since they’ve been here,” Bryant said. “There was no reason for my client to understand any differently.” In fact, if the authority is going to try and renegotiate the Lynx’s advertising agreement, Bryant said that the board is acting a little late in the game. “We’ve already sold the signs,” Bryant said of the Lynx. “Our sales department has gone out and sold the permanent signage for next season because that’s what they’ve always done.” Authority member Wayne Frazier told Bryant that, while that may be how the civic center handled the advertising agreement in the past, that didn’t mean that particular arrangement was etched in stone. “Your contract may have allowed you to sell it, but does the contract guarantee that you can sell it?” Frazier asked. Bryant said he believed it did, but the authority’s attorney, Edward Enoch Jr., said he felt it was up to the authority’s discretion to approve or change the arrangement. However, he did warn that if the ad arrange- FOR “Now, he (Frank Lawrence) wants to do the same thing that he criticized the Lynx for doing.” – Authority Chairman Billy Holden ment is changed, the authority would ultimately be taken to court. The civic center’s new general manager, Larry Rogers, suggested that the authority take that risk and try to independently sell advertising in the arena. “If I had my way about it, and I don’t have a vote, but I would take them (the current ads) down and start from scratch,” Rogers said. Bryant advised the board not to consider that option. “If they (the ads) come down, we will have an issue here,” Bryant said. “My clients are about to lose a $1 million deal.” Bill Coleman, attorney for the Augusta Entertainment Corp., offered three options for the authority to consider: Keep the current 65 percent/35 percent ad split arrangement between the two parties; agree on a lump sum amount that the Lynx will pay the authority each year for the right to sell advertising in the facility; or establish a specific amount each sign is worth in the arena and the Lynx will pay the authority that cost. Coleman added that the civic center would greatly benefit if the board could settle this deal because there is a possibility that if Lawrence is part owner of the Lynx, the Stallions may also return. Authority Chairman Billy Holden said that Lawrence had already blown that opportunity. “That option is not there because we sent Frank a letter over a year ago asking him to respond to whether we should sell the arena football equipment or not and he never responded,” Holden said. “So, we put the equipment up for sale.” Holden also said Lawrence’s sudden change of heart concerning the arena’s advertising deal rubbed him the wrong way. “Do we let hockey sell advertisements during other people’s events? That’s what it boils down to,” Holden said. “And that was the point that Mr. Lawrence made before in the newspaper and everywhere else, that the reason the Stallions couldn’t make it here was because he couldn’t sell advertising. “Now, he wants to do the same thing that he criticized the Lynx for doing.” Finally, authority member Bill Maddox suggested a five-year agreement with the Lynx that would require the team to pay the authority a flat fee of $50,000 a year to advertise in the arena. The team would also be given the option to sell advertisements in the civic center’s concourse only if approved by the authority. Maddox also requested that the authority be allowed to reserve eight advertising spaces, formerly sold by the Stallions, for the authority’s own use. The board agreed to Maddox’s suggestion and the attorneys for the Lynx and the Augusta Entertainment Corp. said they would discuss the proposal with their clients. CANS Help Support the Golden Harvest Food Bank Food Drive! September 8th-21st Call 828-O-TAN for details! Located on 9th and Reynolds between Beamie’s and Boll Weevil 15 This Weeks Special M E T R O S P I R I T (1) Large One Topping Pizzas & Breadsticks $9.99 S E P T (3) Medium One Toppings $13.99 1 1 2 0 0 3 Buy a Large Pizza at Regular Price and Get One Free LOCATIONS: Serving Martinez & Evans 868-8185 4357 Washington Rd Serving S. Augusta & Wrighsboro Rd Area 790-1222 2625 Deans Bridge Rd, # 7 Serving Ft Gordon & Brown Rd Area 798-5575 Windsor Spring & Tobacco Rd Serving Grovetown 868-0067 5050 Wrightsboro Rd Powerful. Nimble. Reserved. Introducing the redesigned HONDA ACCORD available at GERALD JONES HONDA 2003 Gordon Highway 1-800-203-9371 www.geraldjoneshonda.com 16 M E T R O S P I R I T Big Media Held at Bay ... At Least for Now S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 T hey nearly sneaked it through. They almost duped we, the people. They, of course, being the handful of corporations comprising the nation’s big media, who would have loved nothing more than to make indepth analysis of Britney and Madonna’s kiss, along with all the reality TV you could wade through, a steady diet for Americans. The General Electrics and Viacoms who saw their Great Chain of Vertical Integration nearing fruition, giving birth to a world in which they’d no longer have to feign some semblance of objectivity in plugging their lousy movies or corporate interests in their news programs. At least that’s the view held by those who’ve fought against a move to ease media ownership limitations. But alas, it was not to be. Or at least not yet. With the complicity of Federal Communications Commission Chairman Michael Powell (son of Secretary of State Colin Powell), the largest TV networks have been pushing to roll back limitations on station ownership, a move that would allow three or four media corporations at most to reach nearly half of the nation’s viewers. The deregulation push also called for easing restrictions on the number of TV stations a newspaper could own, or vice versa, in a particular locality. All these efforts came to a grinding halt on Sept. 3, however, as a federal appeals court blocked the plan to ease ownership restrictions until Congress and others have more discussion on the issue. The surprise ruling came after plaintiffs planning to fight the media power grab in court filed an emergency hearing request in Philadelphia. Until now, the move to ease media ownership restrictions has marched forward with little public outcry. Some maintain that’s because the public hadn’t been told much about it until very recently. The two lone Democrats on the fivemember FCC board, Michael Copps and Jonathan Adelstein, sounded the alarm early this year for the need for more public hearings to be held on the issue. However, even when those public hearings were well attended, they still received little media coverage. A prime example of the mainstream media ignoring the issue came in May, when Copps and Adelstein attended a public Constitution ran no announcement of the meeting, nor did it offer any coverage of the public hearing. “This is the most important domestic policy decision facing the nation ... Who is going to control the media?” Copps asked the 500-plus crowd at the meeting to contemplate, according to Creative “This action gives us the opportunity to convince Congress and, if necessary, the courts, that the FCC’s decision is bad for democracy, and bad for broadcast localism.” — Andrew Jay Schwartzman, the attorney who helped garner the federal appeals court ruling temporarily blocking the easing of media ownership restrictions, as quoted in The New York Times. hearing in Atlanta at Emory University. Although two of the actual FCC board members who would cast decisive votes on this landmark deregulation issue attended, The Atlanta Journal- Loafing, Atlanta’s alternative weekly, which reported on the meeting and also helped organize it. Adelstein had even harsher words for the daily paper, whose parent company, Cox By Brian Neill News Service, also owns Atlanta’s WSB News/Talk 750 Radio, which also failed to report on the meeting. “The company that owns The Atlanta Journal-Constitution is not on the same side as the people,” Adelstein was quoted by Creative Loafing as telling those at the forum. “Their job is to let people know what’s happening. If they don’t, that’s a warning that we’d better watch out.” Since then, it seems, many have started to heed that warning. Even as the White House and President George W. Bush have threatened to veto any legislation calling for current media restrictions to remain intact, bi-partisan opposition to relaxing the rules is mounting. Just a day after the federal appeals court ruling, The New York Times reported that the U.S. Senate Appropriations Committee had tied a provision to a $38 billion spending bill that would block revamping the FCC regulations. The maneuver, the Times reported, “moved the Republican-controlled Congress a big step closer to a rare rebuke of both the Bush administration and the Federal Communications Commission ... ” Proponents of easing the media ownership restrictions say such laws are antiquated and irrelevant in the new technological age of cable, bundled media services and satellites. Those opposed to easing the restrictions say doing so would limit diversity in news coverage and content and also allow large corporations to form monopolies that would vacuum up the majority of advertising dollars in particular communities, making it harder for smaller, independent outlets to stay afloat. “This action gives us the opportunity to convince Congress and, if necessary, the courts, that the FCC’s decision is bad for democracy, and bad for broadcast localism,” Andrew Jay Schwartzman, the attorney who helped garner the federal appeals court ruling, told the Times. “Perhaps it will embolden Congress to overturn the new rules in their entirety. That would save everyone a lot of time and effort fighting it out in court to obtain the same result.” HOME free 17 M E T R O S P I R I T The best part about ending your trip in Augusta is that you’re just minutes from home. The second best thing is FREE parking. FREE IS GOOD! To get a free parking voucher, visit our Web site www.AugustaRegionalAirport.com and print your own pass. This offer is good for a limited time. It’s just another way we make the comfort of flying home even better. Take life easier. Fly there. Fly home. GMC & Arts in the Heart of Augusta Festival proudly present September 18th, 7-9pm Augusta Common You’ve seen it on Turner South and now they are coming to Augusta! The Bluebird Cafe presents three #1 Hit Singer/Songwriters! An evening of songs, stories, humor and secrets of the music industry. Tickets available at Wachovia, SunCom, SRP Federal Credit Union and Online at www.AugustaArts.com Greater Augusta $4 in Advance / $5 at the Gate No Pets or Coolers! COUNCIL S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 18 M E T R O S P I R I T Counting the weeks until a new arrival? S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 Share the journey with Metro Augusta Parent. Every month we offer a variety of articles and information on pregnancy, childbirth and baby care to make your transition to parenthood just a little easier. Metro Augusta Parent — we’re part of the family. September 2003 CELEBRATING OUR 4TH YEAR OF PUBLICATION Less Whine With Dinner Weekend Parenting | Picky Eaters 101 | Preparing for Maternity Leave PARENTI PUBLICA NG TIONS OF GOLDAMERICA AWAR D WIN GENERAL NER E 2003 AXCELLENCE WARD COMPET ITION Contact the Parent at (706) 261-KIDS. TING PAREN TIONS CA PUBLI MERICA OF A WARD DA GOL INNERENCE W EXCELL AL D GENER 03 AWAR 20 PETITION COM Parent METRO AUGUSTA Free Monthly! Running Out of 19 HOPE By Brian Neill “Our proposal would be that, once you determine the amount of lottery money that is there for the HOPE program, you would basically take the number of eligible students and simply divide the lottery money by the eligible students. And that would determine the scholarship amount. That’s the way most scholarship programs are run in this country. Interestingly enough, they have to live within the budget.” — Henry Hector, president of the Georgia Foundation for Independent Colleges and one of the HOPE Joint Study Commission members. T he majority of news stories about Georgia’s HOPE scholarship have all fit the same mold: Meet Bob Smith, who will graduate from Bright Future High School this year. Smith worried he wouldn’t be able to attend college to pursue that business degree. But thanks to the HOPE scholarship, he can. “My parents worried about coming up with the money to send me to college and I didn’t know what I was going to do,” an emotional Smith said. “Thank you, HOPE.” But what most of those stories fail to mention, or at least tend to downplay, is that a fair number of the Bob Smiths in Georgia could afford to go to college on their own, and would do so anyway, even without HOPE. In fact, households with six-figure incomes or better, and ample college savings socked away, can still benefit from free college tuition for their kids, afforded to them through money spent playing the Georgia Lottery. That there is currently no household income cap for HOPE eligibility, isn’t exactly news. But the fact has stirred recent debate as the HOPE scholarship seems headed for troubled waters. Combined funding needs for HOPE and the state’s pre-Kindergarten program, according to recent reports, could outstrip earmarked lottery funds by more than $30 million in just two years. And estimates of that shortfall continue to mount. Re-imposing an income cap has been seen as one of several possible solutions to shore up HOPE funding. Another solution, suggested in an editorial in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution that ran earlier this year, was to dole out the scholarships to everyone, but on a sliding scale based on income. The editorial also advocated making pre-K funding a priority over HOPE, since such funding typically goes to more needy individuals. “Thanks to the HOPE scholarship, money that middle-class Georgia parents had set aside to pay college costs for their children is instead being used to finance sports cars and studies abroad,” the editorial read. “But these happy days may have to come to an end ... However, noise level often sways political choices, and any proposal to touch a middle-class entitlement program such as HOPE would generate commotion from Cobb to Chatham.” For the time being, it seems, Georgia’s affluent will be able to continue putting their kids’ college money to other uses, as neither idea has proven very popular. In fact, a HOPE Joint Study Commission empaneled by the General Assembly met for the second time several weeks ago and quickly moved to erase replacing the income cap from the list of potential fixes. “I think that hurts lottery sales,” outgoing Georgia Lottery Corporation President Rebecca Paul told the Journal-Constitution after the Aug. 21 joint study commission meeting, regarding the idea of re-instituting the income cap. Paul recently announced she was leaving Georgia to head up Tennessee’s lottery, a revelation that sent even more shockwaves through the HOPE status debate, owing to her expertise and close association with the program over the years. The joint study commission, comprised of educators, parents, students and lottery officials, among others, will continue its meetings into October or November. For certain, suggesting an income cap is a political hot potato, experts say, even though expenses relating to the number of HOPE scholarships awarded each year have nearly doubled since the income cap was lifted in 1995. Despite what the numbers say, most agree that recommending the reinstatement of an income cap — essentially, telling middleand upper-middle-class families to pay for their kids’ college, themselves — would continued on page 20 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 swiftly end a politician’s career. “If the lottery funds are not enough to fund the program then you’re going to have to figure out a way to reduce the claims,” said University of Georgia economics Professor Chris Cornwell, who has studied HOPE at length. “One way is to reinstate an income cap. Personally, I think the politics of that are so bad, that won’t happen. “I think we all understand that once a government entitlement is established, I don’t care who you start taking it away from, you can say, ‘Well, those are rich people and they don’t need this,’ somebody’s going to bear the consequences at election, I would bet.” Another reason some have argued against replacing the income cap on HOPE is that the program was never intended to be “needs-based” in the first place. Shelley Nickel, executive director of the Georgia Student Finance Commission, which administers HOPE, holds that view. “Regardless of whether your mom or dad has money or not, we need to encourage kids to do well in school,” Nickel said. “It’s academic achievement, and there is a reward for doing well. Whoever your mom and dad are, it shouldn’t matter.” But Nickel realizes something with the program has to change. She best summed up the current status of HOPE in a comment she recently made to the Chattanooga Times Free Press: “We’re a victim of our own success.” HOPE’s History of Success When HOPE, the brainchild of former Gov. Zell Miller, first came on the scene in 1993, it was awarded to high school students who maintained a B average, and whose family household income was $66,000 or less. Then, the income cap was raised a year later to $100,000, before being removed completely in 1995. From that point until the present, the number of students receiving HOPE scholarships each year has nearly doubled, according to data from the GSFC. During the 1994-95 year, just prior to the $100,000 cap being lifted, 98,439 students received HOPE scholarships totaling $83.8 million, according to the GSFC. By the 2001-2002 school year, the number of annual HOPE scholarship recipients had risen to 196,000 students, and dollars totaling $323 million. Since the program’s inception a decade ago, more than 807,000 students have received HOPE scholarships totaling in excess of $1.9 billion. HOPE scholarships have gone to 4,145 Columbia County residents and 19,246 students in Richmond County since the program began, according to GSFC data. About $751 million from the Georgia Lottery went to HOPE and pre-K, combined, last year. The HOPE program has become a model for the nation — a source of envy for the university systems of various states throughout the country that have marveled at its success in retaining college-bound students in state and encouraging academic achievement. With HOPE as a model, neighboring Tennessee launched a similar lottery scholarship program in May and has recently considered entering into a lottery partnership with Georgia. How Paul’s defection to the Volunteer State will impact that partnership may be interesting to watch. But despite its successes, HOPE has also been criticized and blamed for being too ambitious for its own good. Critics have charged that the HOPE scholarship program has become a government entitlement for the well-to-do, paid for by the poor — statistically, the class most likely to play the lottery. Others have felt that HOPE has worked in paradoxical fashion, not only by serving as an entitlement for well-to-do families, but by raising the acceptance bar at the state’s leading universities much higher by enabling them to pick and choose from a larger applicant list — a list made up mostly, researchers say, of students from higher-income families. Essentially, those critics maintain, HOPE the Georgia Foundation for Independent Colleges and one of the HOPE Joint Study Commission members. “Our proposal would be that once you determine the amount of lottery money that is there for the HOPE program, you would basically take the number of eligible students and simply divide the lottery money by the eligible students,” Hector said, prior to the Aug. 21 study commission meeting. “And that would determine the scholarship amount. That’s the way most scholarship programs are run in this country. “Interestingly enough, they have to live within the budget.” HOPE Sells Cars? Cornwell, of UGA, has heard the sports car and SUV anecdotes hinting at the Courtesy: University of Georgia/Peter Frey 20 continued from page 19 “I think we all understand that once a government entitlement is established, I don’t care who you start taking it away from, you can say, ‘Well, those are rich people and they don’t need this,’ somebody’s going to bear the consequences at election, I would bet.” — UGA Economics Professor Chris Cornwell. has done nothing but further the opportunities of those who were ahead, anyway. Tennessee officials have kept a close eye on HOPE and are hoping to learn from the program’s mistakes as theirs moves forward. For instance, Tennessee officials set an individual scholarship limit of $4,000 annually for tuition, regardless of tuition hikes. HOPE payments, on the other hand, keep pace with tuition increases. Also, Tennessee state Sen. Steve Coen, DMemphis, told the Chattanooga Free Press that he favors adding an income cap to his state’s program to help control expenses. The legislation for Tennessee’s scholarship is also written so that the program has to live within its means. If lottery funding runs low, scholarships are reduced. That’s an idea similar to the one proposed by Henry Hector, president of additional disposable income that HOPE supposedly leaves intact for middle- and upper-middle-class parents. In fact, that’s one of the things that prompted him to conduct a peculiar, but perhaps relevant, study titled, “Merit-Based College Scholarships and Car Sales.” Cornwell and his colleague, UGA associate economics Professor David Mustard, set out to show that additional money left in families’ pockets through receiving HOPE resulted in more car sales. Their conclusion? That doubling the number of HOPE recipients in a particular county would, indeed, result in a 2-percent increase in vehicle sales. However, Cornwell said, he’s not entirely sure what that finding means, and isn’t sure the study, in its current form, would pass muster with the editorial staff of a “respectable” higher education journal. More pertinent, Cornwell said, would be gathering data that shows family income levels of HOPE scholars. Cornwell, however, concedes it’s not the easiest data to get one’s hands on, though he was currently in the process of trying as of this writing. Making the job of tracking the family incomes of HOPE recipients difficult is the fact that the GSFC does not require financial information from HOPE applicants. However, Nickel, of the GSFC, did recently obtain information that showed the number of students who had received both HOPE and the Pell Grant, which is given to lower-income students. She said those Pell recipients comprise about 30 percent of students also getting HOPE. That would mean that roughly 30 percent of students receiving HOPE could be considered needy, Nickel said. “If you understand Pell, Pell is really for needy students,” Nickel said. “It’s difficult (income-wise) to qualify for a Pell Grant.” Cornwell would not offer his personal preferences in terms of reining in HOPE expenditures, saying that job belongs to the politicians and the study commission. But Cornwell said he’s skeptical that reimposing the $100,000 cap (assuming the incremental lifting in reverse) would have such an impact on shoring up HOPE reserves due to the small number of Georgia families actually earning more than that. According to 2001 U.S. Census data, the median family income in Georgia is $49,100. Only about 3 percent of Georgia families have incomes of $200,000 or more. “I don’t think you’d get a big bang out of establishing a $100,000 cap,” Cornwell said. Cornwell said it doesn’t surprise him that a majority of students arriving at Georgia’s top-notch schools — UGA and Georgia Tech — through the HOPE scholarship may come from higher-income families. “The program is very simple: If you make a B in the courses that you have to make a B in, you get the scholarship. Where the income thing comes into play is simply the obvious and unfortunate fact that people who are raised in families with resources are better able to achieve,” Cornwell said. “I’m not saying that they’re smarter, but people who grow up in households where there are resources, they have nicer computers, better books and all these other kinds of things. They’re just able to perform better in high school than a poor kid whose parents may not have a computer at all, or Internet access or other things that might be helpful in promoting achievement in high school. “So I think that’s where you have the problem, is that achievement is related to income because income helps finance the achievement.” Cornwell is also not surprised that betteroff families take HOPE money. “I think, again, because high school achievement is related to income, it’s not surprising that upper-income people benefit,” Cornwell said. “So, if you had a cap in the first place that cut out uppermiddle-class and higher-income households from the benefits, now that you open it up to them, it’s not surprising that they take the money and send their kids to college. If somebody sends you a $3,500 check in the mail, you’re probably going to cash it, so I would expect these households to do nothing less.” One area Cornwell thinks the study commission may look to make cuts is the component of HOPE that pays for student fees. “I mean, at Georgia, they (fees) cover football tickets, parking and a student activity fee like the athletics center where kids work out and play sports and stuff,” Cornwell said. “So these are not, strictly speaking, academic expenditures. I don’t know how many of these fees you can opt out of, but some of them you can.” Again, however, that idea may not prove popular. “Students of course, if they’re (fees) being paid for by lottery players, would never opt out,” Cornwell said. “(They would say) that would be silly.” Back to Basics Despite the problems HOPE is having now, it’s also had plenty of success. Nickel realizes that, and suggests that this is time to pull back and analyze that track record. “What I keep saying over and over again is, we need to re-examine the things that we’ve added on over the 10 years that HOPE’s been in existence,” Nickel said. “Look back at why we initially wanted to have this program, what were the original principles, and stick to the original mission, the goals that we were trying to achieve. “And so, that’s kind of my mantra.” Nickel said standardizing the criteria for HOPE, across the board, would go a long way toward keeping expenses in check. For instance, many high schools throughout the state have different interpretations of a B average, Nickel said. In other words, some schools might consider an 80 average a B, while others consider a B to fall somewhere higher in the 80s — an 84, for example, she said. Nickel said that could inordinately boost HOPE rolls by giving an unfair advantage to a graduate from a school who assigns a lower numeric score to a B. Also, that student might be ill-prepared to maintain a B once he or she gets to college — a requirement for maintaining the HOPE scholarship, Nickel said. “Right now, we use a numeric average of 80 and above, and under that scenario you cannot be what I’d term a true Baverage student as defined by the 4.0 scale, which is what a college looks at through admissions,” Nickel said. “I think that’s one of the reasons you see such a large drop-off in eligibility after the first year (of college), because there’s a lot of students who probably aren’t true B-average students and they lose it.” Nickel said she’d also like to see residency requirements, which currently vary between the state’s public, private and tech schools, be uniform. Regardless of what changes are made to the program, Nickel said she emphatically opposes bringing back an income cap. “When I mentioned that as an option, it just really was part of an array of options,” Nickel said. “I’m not promoting that, no. I am not.” Whatever the final consensus, Nickel said, she has faith that the study commission will find ways to ensure the future of HOPE. “I really just think we should go back to the original principles and strengthen them,” Nickel said. “And that’s what I’m hoping the commission will do.” 21 SALON SERVICES M E T R O +Highlights +Color +Cuts +Nails +Waxing +Massage S P I R I T UNDER NEW OWNERSHIP S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 WALK-INS Welcome An Salon Surrey Center 667-0780 Tues-Fri 9:30-7:00 Sat 10-4 Stylist Position Available Roux's Weddings Gourmet Catering Celebrations! 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David & Andy Jones Gerald Jones Volkswagen/Audi 706-738-2561 Located in the former Columbia Square Shopping Center in West Augusta The Chicken People S andwiched between Davis Road and the Bobby Jones Expressway, directly behind the bustling parking lots and truck loading docks at Wal-Mart and Lowe’s, there exists a strange place. Here, the progression of time seems to have stopped. Roosters crow, antique farm implements hang from the sides of rustic lumber structures and Mildred Ely, the “Chicken Lady,” scatters about crumbs of white bread for the minions of her namesake. With a Radio Shack ball cap atop her shock of shoulder-length, gray hair, Ely points to two 40-pound sacks of chicken scratch slung over a shopping cart, which she recently wheeled back from Wal-Mart herself. It would be a chore for anyone, particularly in Augusta’s summer heat. But it would seem even more so for Ely. After all, she’s 87. Still, she said, the task has to be done. “I have to,” Ely said. “These chickens got to eat. They’re what I live for.” Ely and her neighbor, James Green, have seen the hustle and bustle of the outside world explode around them. But they, like the chickens that occasion- 23 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 By Brian Neill ally block traffic along Rose Street, haven’t budged. “It grows fast. Real fast,” said Green, referring to the congestion and the businesses that have sprouted up around them over the past 50 years or so, like a net closing in on them. Green, a freshly picked sprig of Lantana protruding from his shirt pocket, said he bought more than 30 acres of the surrounding land from a woman named Mrs. Lonergan, with whom he boarded while working on the construction of the power plant at Clark’s Hill in the 1950s. Owing to Mrs. Lonergan’s name, the area used to be known as Lonerganville, Green said. “She had 65 acres and she started selling it off,” Green, 78, said. “She sold me any part I wanted. I done sold it all in here now, but seven and a half acres.” Green sold the land that now is home to Wal-Mart, as well as the parcel Lowe’s currently occupies. That particular piece of land used to house Green’s saw mill, which he now operates in Appling. Part of the remaining land along Rose Street that Green still owns is home to his Green’s Trailer Park. Across the street from where Green and Ely live, Charles Fordham has run Fordham’s Produce for the last three years. Fordham decided to move here after learning that Davis Road, where he formerly operated a produce stand, was to be widened. “This is an unusual place, I’ll tell you,” Fordham said. “That’s why I picked this place.” In front of Fordham’s stand, which faces the back of Lowe’s, sit 50-pound bags of Vidalia onions and ripe watermelons split open for display. However, passing motorists aren’t the only ones who notice, Fordham said, as he pointed to a sneaky squirrel peering from behind the trunk of a pine tree, hoping to make off with some watermelon seeds. Several hens have also nonchalantly entered Fordham’s stand in the past, seeking out remote corners to lay their eggs, which have later hatched. “I tell them they belong to the neighborhood,” Fordham said, referring to his ready response to curious customers who ask about the poultry procession. Any other questions, Fordham said, have to be put to the Chicken Lady. And the Chicken Lady has plenty to tell. Ely, who said she used to make a living by independently caring for sick people in their homes, actually inherited all of her chickens from Green’s mother, who had to undergo a series of amputations relating to diabetes and could no longer care for them. Over the years, Ely said, the chickens have helped her cope with ordeals such as family feuds fit for a Faulkner novel and even the death of her son. Ely said she remembers the evening when some relatives lured her son to a nearby trailer to see his child, and then allegedly shot him in the back of the head. She said she remembers hearing voices screaming at her son to give them money. Then, a gunshot. “It’s been a rough old world,” said Ely, who’s lost most of her sight due to old age. “These chickens saved my life after my son was murdered. These chickens saved my life.” Ely momentarily disappeared inside her trailer and reemerged with two chicks she’d been nursing since their mother abandoned them. Other hens and their chicks are scattered about the area. Small groups of continued on page 24 24 M E T R O S P I R I T SUPER SATURDAY! SEPTEMBER 13TH · 9am - 2pm ADMISSION FEES WAIVED* S E P T “It’s been a rough old world. These chickens saved my life after my son was murdered. These chickens saved my life.” 1 1 2 0 0 3 — Mildred Ely, the “Chicken Lady” continued from page 23 ACCOUNTING CULINARY ARTS MARKETING MANAGEMENT ADMINISTRATIVE OFFICE TECHNOLOGY ELECTRONICS MECHANICAL ENGINEERING TECHNOLOGY ADVANCED AUTOMOTIVE ELECTRICAL & ELECTRONIC TECHNICIAN - TECHNICAL CERTIFICATE OF CREDIT E-COMMERCE WEB PROGRAMMING MEDICAL ASSISTING (NIGHT) *NEW* ELECTRONICS & COMPUTER ENGINEERING TECHNOLOGY MEDICAL TRANSCRIPTION AIR CONDITIONING TECHNOLOGY ELECTRICAL CONSTRUCTION & MAINT. 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Augusta (706) 771-4000 Thomson/McDuffie (706) 595-0166 Waynesboro/Burke (706) 437-6801 roosters strut proudly across the street or onto the back decks of surrounding trailers, where they puff out their chests and crow. Every once in a while, when the zoning officials come knocking on Ely’s door about the birds, she’ll point over to Green’s house. “When the zoning board gets on her about chickens, she tells them they’re mine,” Green said. “They’ve never come to talk to me about it though.” Although Ely’s life has been rough, most of her troubles, along with the people who brought them, have died. That includes the people she claims murdered her son. “They’re dead too,” Ely said. “Everybody that’s done me dirty, just about, is dead.” In a way, Ely’s chickens are her link to the outside world. Occasionally, she said, parents will stop by with their children and ask if they can watch her feed the chickens. Ely’s always eager to oblige. Over the years, Ely and Green have more or less adapted to the encroaching modernity. Still, Ely sometimes yearns for the days when everyone around her wasn’t in such a hurry. “Oh my God, it’s become a nightmare around here,” Ely said. “It was very quiet and peaceful.” For Green, things have gotten too hectic. He feels it might be time to move on. He said he’d like to sell his remaining land, maybe to an apartment developer, and move back out to the country in McDuffie County, where he grew up. “This place has growed up so fast,” Green said. “We’ve got to get out of here.” Asked if Ely felt the same way, Green answered for her. “No, she don’t want to get out,” Green said, smiling at Ely. “She wants to stay in here and raise chickens a little while longer.” WE’RE MOVING THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH OF THE MOST HOLY TRINITY Celebrate Music! 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REPAIRED RIGHT OR FIXED FREE 25 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 26 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 Arts & Entertainment Multiple-Artist Shows at Morris and Laney Museums By Rhonda Jones (Left to right, top to bottom) “River of Life” by Rhian Swain-Giboney (Laney); “Lulu and John Sharber” by Bertha Herbert Potter” (Morris); painting by Eugene Campbell (Laney); “Historic Encounter Between E. H. Crump and W. C. Handy on Beale Street” by Carroll Cloar (Morris) Artists Speak About Their Work Unlike performing artists, visual artists don’t tend to travel in packs. But sometimes you may see a congregation of them at an artistic watering hole like the Lucy Craft Laney Museum on Phillips Street off of Laney-Walker Boulevard. At the moment, the works of seven artists are on display. And they’re seven very different artists at that. Rhian Swain-Giboney is known for her colorful expressionistic pieces that tend to capture the various aspects of womanhood. During a Sept. 7 artists’ reception she spoke to Metro Spirit about the symbols in her work. “River of Life,” for instance, features a mother whose flowing blue dress covers most of the canvas. The material is covered with iconographic nudes of varying skin colors. “Those represent the tribes of women. Those represent women as the creative force – I guess what you would call the consistent force between the past, present and future. And even though we have women from different cultures, different geographical locations, different beliefs, different ways of living their lives – all are still women. They are all still the creative force.” She called her colleague, Ethan Brock – who is also showing at the Laney Museum – a minimalist. And he agrees with the assessment. Sort of. He did concede that it would be possible for the viewer to come to that conclusion, unless they looked more deeply into his pieces at the subtleties in the texture. “The textures bar me from being a minimalist,” he said. We considered a piece titled “White on White,” which is part of a series. It is a horizontal framed piece which utilizes plaster, cloth and gesso (plaster of Paris mixed with glue) on wood. There are bumps and frays in the material, and a sense of motion if you take the time to look. Brock can find inspiration in something as tiny as a notch in a piece of wood. “This is my cathartic work,” Brock said, referring to himself as an alchemist of sorts. And he described his method of creating this particular series, which includes a larger black piece with even more subtle texture changes. “I work on them very quickly,” he said, describing the process of layering that gives him results. He said that he works on a piece until he starts getting ideas about other directions he could take it. At that point, he considers that piece finished, and he begins the next, and follows his new train of ideas. He wants each of them to be unique, even though he is working with variations on a theme. He pointed out the suggestion of a grid within the frame, and said that he had pieced it together, instead of working with one solid slab. The star of the show, however, is folk artist Willie Tarver, who told the story of how he developed an interest in making the welded steel figures like the ones appearing at the Laney Museum, which he has been making for about 55 years, he said. “I started off as a little fellow, 10 to 12 years old.” He grew up the son of a sharecropper, who was very concerned about giving his 12 children a good Christmas each year. So, Tarver said, his dad would spend all year making toys out of whatever he could find – wood, corn shucks, you name it. “By the time Christmas came around, everyone would have a present,” Tarver said. “I think that’s where I got the inspiration to want to make stuff. I didn’t even know it was art.” When he discovered it was not only art, but worth money, Tarver said, chuckling, he became really motivated to pursue it. His pieces tend to be engaging figures full of motion – sometimes animal, sometimes human – of black, textured steel, with just a dab of color painted in. Atlanta art student Eugene Campbell exhibited a simple and elegant graphite drawing of an old slave woman, whose soulful face is full of grief. It is called “Roots.” “I wanted to show her grief, the grief she was dealing with day in and day out,” he said. As for what exactly she was grieving at that moment, Campbell didn’t want to say. “I kind of like leaving that interpretation up to the viewers.” But he experiments with other styles as well, like an impressionistic piece he calls “Butterfly,” of a child chasing a fluttering bug through a field. Lee Quillin Blackledge brought along her first piece, called “You Are What You Eat,” which she painted in 1978. It is a pelican made up of intricate drawings of fish. She began painting, she said, as therapy, while she was taking care of her parents through her dad’s terminal illness. Then, for the next three or four years, she said, she painted out her grief and then stopped when she no longer needed to express strong emotions. Then one day, she realized that she had no idea what to get her mother for her birthday, and so she decided to make a portrait of her dog. “Now I paint all the time,” Blackledge said. “The cats over there, they’re mine.” Animal portraits are one of her favorite things to paint now. And it’s still pretty therapeutic. “You start and you think only a half hour’s gone by,” she said, only to find you’ve been at it for eight full hours. “If you have a worry or trouble, you don’t think about it. That’s the best part, I think.” Audrey Crosby, on the other hand, enjoys spiritual symbolism. “Merciful Heaven” begins on the left side of the canvas as a heavy, dark piece, with a figure on hands and knees. As we progress to the right side of the canvas we see the figure rise to a kneeling position, and then stand as the darkness fades to white. “That was inspired because at that time I was going through a spiritual struggle,” she said. But she didn’t paint the figure as herself. Crosby painted the figure as neither man nor woman, so that all viewers could connect with it, she said. Another of her paintings, a striking red piece called “Indian Woman,” is her response to 9/11. It’s a loosely titled piece, she said, because the woman could be from any of the Eastern countries that were affected by the bombings of two years ago. “They had feelings,” she said of the citizens of the Middle East. “They’re people just like us. In her face I wanted to capture the longing to connect with someone else, to escape from her situation.” Admission to the museum is $3 for adults and $1 for students. Directions to the museum are available online at www.LucyCraftLaneyMuseum.com. For more information about upcoming luncheons and exhibits, please call 706-724-3576 or visit www.LucyCraftLaneyMuseum.com. At the Morris And if that doesn’t satisfy your appetite for pretty pictures, visit the Morris Museum of Art in downtown Augusta. Through Nov. 9, they are exhibiting “A Century of Progress: Twentieth Century Painting in Tennessee.” It is quite a comprehensive exhibit, featuring over 60 artists living and painting in Tennessee over the past century. Subject matter includes historical photography, idyllic landscapes, regionalism and the role of women. Names you will see scrawled onto the canvases include Lloyd Branson, Mary Solari, Gilbert Gaul, Jack Gru, Joseph Delaney, Avery Handly, C. Kermit Ewing, Walter Hollis Stevens, Carl Sublett, Willie Betty Newman and Catherine Wiley, John Baeder, Red Grooms, David Driskell and Barry Buxkamper. The Morris Museum has scheduled activities around this exhibit, to take place through Nov. 9. The Art at Lunch program continues Oct. 17, when Don Rhodes discusses “Country Music: Augusta to Nashville” at noon. Looking at the Art of Tennessee has two segments. On Oct. 9, art historian Karen Klacsmann and Morris Museum Director Kevin Grogan discusses the exhibition at 7 p.m. On Oct. 24, Virginia Derryberry, who is an exhibiting artist and associate professor at the University of North Carolina at Asheville, will give a talk at 7 p.m. Then there’s The Best of Tennessee Arts and Culture. On Sept. 11, poet Starkey Flythe will discuss a 20th century literary group in Tennessee who called themselves the Fugitives. On Sept. 28, The Tunesmiths will perform traditional Appalachian music at 2 p.m. On Oct. 12, The Rhythm and Class Dance Studio will demonstrate clogging, which is also Appalachian, at 2 p.m. On Nov. 9, there will be Elvis Day, featuring a reading and book signing by Joni Mabe, who is known as the Queen of the King. There will also be an Elvis lookalike competition and an impersonator. All this starts at 2 p.m. The Young Tennessee SingerSongwriter Series features performances by young singer-songwriters from Nashville, Lookout Mountain, Chattanooga and Knoxville. On Sept. 16, you can see Jennifer Daniels; on Sept. 30, Steven Jackson; on Oct. 14, Jodie Manross; Oct. 28, Ben Elkins. All performances are at 7:30 p.m. On Oct. 25, Virginia Derryberry will lead a painting workshop. Registration is required. For info, call (706) 724-7501. ARTS IN THE HEART OF AUGUSTA FESTIVAL September 19, 20 & 21 Augusta Common & Surrounding Historic Downtown Augusta Fri. 5 pm - 9 pm ! Sat. 10 am - 7 pm ! Sun. 12 pm - 6 pm Sponsored by the Greater Augusta Arts Council Badges $4 in advance $5 at the Gate Children 10 and under Free! No Pets or Coolers! Purchase Badges at: ! Wachovia ! SunCom ! SRP Federal Credit Union ! Online at www.augustaarts.com SOUTHERN INDUSTRIES 27 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 28 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 8 DaysA Week Arts Auditions AUGUSTA CONCERT BAND rehearses Monday evenings and is looking to fill vacancies on most band instruments. Interested par ties should contact Ben Easter, (803) 202-0091 or e-mail email@example.com. SWEET ADELINES PEACH STATE CHORUS OPEN REHEARSAL for singers each Thursday at 7 p.m. at Church of Christ, 600 Mar tintown Rd. in Nor th Augusta. They are on the lookout for voices in the lower ranges. Contact Mary Norman at (803) 279-6499. Education HAT-MAKING WORKSHOP FOR ADULTS with local ar tist Mary Canteen Sept. 12, 10 a.m.-noon at the Ma xwell Branch Library. Registration required; call 793-2020. SCOT TISH COUNTRY DANCE CLASSES Saturdays beginning Sept. 13 at the Aiken Center for the Ar ts, 122 Laurens St. Beginners and ex perienced dancers welcome. For information, contact Marilynn Knight at (803) 343-3079 or (803) 376-5081, or register by Sept. 11 by calling Aiken Center for the Ar ts, (803) 641-9094. ISR AELI DANCE WORKSHOP at the Augusta Jewish Communit y Center Sunday af ternoons, 4-5 p.m. Open to teens and adults; no experience or par tners are necessar y. Cost is $2 per session, with the first session free. For information or to schedule a pre-class beginner/refresher session, contact Jackie Cohen, 738-9016. ART CLASSES AND WORKSHOPS are of fered yearround at the Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t. Classes and workshops are open to toddlers through adults and feature instruction in drawing, painting, photography, pot tery, weaving and sculpture. For a newslet ter or detailed information on registering for classes at the Ger trude Herber t, call 722-5495. The Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t also of fers educational tours; for information, contact the education director at the above telephone number. ART CLASSES FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS at the Ar t Factory. The Ar t Factory also has a homeschool program and scholarships are available. Programs include voice lessons and pantomime workshops, as well as classes in dance, theater, music, visual ar ts and writing. Fall classes begin the week of Sept. 8, and tuition assistance is available. Call 731-0008 for details. USC-AIKEN MUSIC CONSERVATORY PROGR AM now open. Students of all ages and experience levels welcome. Private lessons available for musical instruments and voice; instructors are USC-Aiken faculty and have at least a master’s degree in their per formance area. (803) 641-3288. Exhibitions JURIED FINE ART EXHIBITION AT THE GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART through Oct. 24 in the main gallery. Gallery talk, reception and awards will be held Sept. 19, 6-8 p.m. Call 722-5495 for info. “A CENTURY OF PROGRESS: 20TH CENTURY PAINTING IN TENNESSEE” will be at the Morris Museum of Ar t through Nov. 9. For more information, call 724-7501. OIL PAINTINGS BY CINDY EPPS are on display at the Euchee Creek Library during September. 556-0594. PORTR AITS BY KATRINA HINTZE will be at the Gibbs Library throughout September. Call 863-1946. DR AWINGS BY FR ANK BAREFIELD will be on display at the Etherredge Center Lower Gallery on the campus of USC-Aiken through Sept. 26. Call (803) 641-3305. “THE NATIONAL PASTIME IN BLACK AND WHITE: THE NEGRO BASEBALL LEAGUES, 1867-1955” will be at the Augusta Museum of History through Oct. 19. Photographs and rare ar tifacts will be on display. Call 722-8454 for more information. AT THE LUCY CR AFT LANEY MUSEUM OF BLACK HISTORY in September: Ethan Brock, Eugene Campbell, Audrey Crosby, Leisha Starchia, Rhian Swain-Giboney, Lee Quillian Blackledge, Willie Tarver and Gene Threats will exhibit. For information, call 724-3576. JACKSON CHEATHAM AND HAYWOOD NICHOLS exhibit works at the Mary Pauline Gallery through Oct. 11. 724-9542. WORKS BY TERESA COLE will be on display at the ASU Fine Ar ts Gallery through Sept. 25. Call 737-1444. WOMEN ON PAPER GROUP EXHIBITION through Sept. 26 at the Etherredge Center Ar t Gallery, located on the campus of USC-Aiken. The group also exhibits at the Sacred Hear t Cultural Center Ar t Gallery through Oct. 28. For more information, call 860-3374. “TWO NATIONS, ONE VISION” PHOTOGR APHY EXHIBIT through September at the Augusta Jewish Community Center, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Monday-Thursday. Free admission. Call 228-3636 for information. Dance THE AUGUSTA INTERNATIONAL FOLK DANCE CLUB meets Thursday evenings at 7:30 p.m. No par tners are needed and newcomers are welcome. Line and circle dances are taught. For location information, call 737-6299. THE DANCES OF UNIVERSAL PEACE held the first Saturday of ever y month, 7-9 p.m., at the Uni tarian Church of Augusta, honors the religious tradi tions of the world through song and movement. Call (803) 643-0460 for more information. Enjoy the beginning of fall fun with the annual Aiken’s Makin’ Festival Sept. 12-13 in downtown Aiken. AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE UNITED STATES AMATEUR BALLROOM DANCERS ASSOCIATION holds a dance the first Saturday of each month, from 7:15-11 p.m. Cost is $7 for members and $10 for non-members. Held at the BPOE facility on Elkdom Cour t. Contact Melvis Lovet t, 733-3890, or Jean Avery, 8634186, for information. CSR A/AUGUSTA BOGEY-WOOGIE DANCE AND SOCIAL GROUP meets every Wednesday at 6:45 p.m. at A World of Dance Studio. Couples, singles and newcomers are welcome. The group also of fers beginner shag lessons all summer. For information, phone 6502396. SINGLES DANCE each Saturday night from 8-11 p.m. sponsored by the Christian Social Organization for Single Adults. Held at Westside High School. Tickets $5 for members, $7 for non-members and are available at the door. For more information, contact Doris Heath, 736-3376. Music “THE FALL CLASSIC” with the Augusta Symphony and pianist Marina Lomazov at USC-Aiken’s Etherredge Center Sept. 19, 8 p.m. For ticket information, visit www.usca.edu or call the box of fice at (803) 6413305. “UNITED WE SING” concer t w th The Garden City Barbershop Chorus and other local singers to remember those lost Sept. 11, 2001 and to honor law enforcement of ficials, rescue squads and fire depar tments. Concer t is Sept. 11, 7 p.m., at the Jessye Norman Amphitheatre on Riverwalk. Free to the public. For more information, contact Jim Fernstrom, (803) 279-8283, or Marc Got tlieb, 731-9859. MARINA LOMAZOV will per form Sept. 20 as par t of the Augusta Symphony Masterworks Series. Visit www.augustasymphony.org or call 826-4705 for ticket information. SOUTHERN SOUL AND SONG CONCERT SERIES TICKETS NOW ON SALE for per formances by: Ricky Skaggs, Oct. 12; Mountain Hear t, Oct. 24; Rober t Earl Keen, Nov. 4; and The Nashville Bluegrass Band, Nov. 8. All shows are 7:30 p.m. at the Imperial Theatre. Tickets are $30 for the Ricky Skaggs show and $15 for all other shows; series subscription is $60. Call 722-8341 to reserve tickets. JENNIFER DANIELS per forms Sept. 16, 7:30 p.m., as par t of the Morris Museum of Ar t’s Young Tennessee Singer/Songwriter Series. Admission is $3 for adults and $2 for seniors, students and military personnel. 724-7501. SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE at Riverwalk’s Eighth Street Plaza Sept. 13. The Windward Blues Project will perform. Street par ty star ts at 6 p.m.; music star ts at 7 p.m. Free admission; proceeds from concession sales benefit future programming at the Imperial Theatre. Call 821-1754. TR ADITIONAL IRISH MUSIC with Sibin comes to the Morris Museum of Ar t as par t of the Music at the Morris series Sept. 14. Per formance begins at 2 p.m., and admission is free. Call 724-7501 for information. “MAKING MUSIC MATTER” CONFERENCE FOR GEORGIA ORCHESTR AS Sept. 15-16 at the Radisson River front Hotel. For more information, call 826-4705. ASU CONSERVATORY FACULTY CONCERT 3 p.m. Sept. 14 at the Ma xwell Per forming Ar ts Theatre. Free. Call 737-1444 for info. TICKETS FOR “FROM MOZART TO MOTOWN 2!” AND “A MOZART TO MOTOWN CHRISTMAS” now on sale. “From Mozar t to Motown 2!” will be staged Oct. 17 at the Imperial Theatre, and “A Mozar t to Motown Christmas” will be staged Nov. 29 at the Imperial Theatre. Tickets are $30 general admission or $45 VIP admission per show. To order tickets, call the Imperial Theatre box of fice at 722-8341. DOWNTOWN LUNCH DATE Sept. 11, 18 and 25, noon-2:30 p.m., at Augusta Common. Bring a lunch or eat lunch catered by the featured restaurant while listening to live music. 821-1754. 30 M E T R O Theater “ONCE UPON A MATTRESS” will be performed by the Aiken Community Playhouse Sept. 19-20, 26-27 and Oct. 3-4 at 8 p.m. with a 3 p.m. matinee performance Sept. 28. Tickets are $15 adults, $13 seniors, $10 students and $6 children 12 and under. For more information or tickets, call (803) S 648-1438 or visit www.aikencommunityplayhouse.com. P I “THE ODD COUPLE” will be presented by For t Gordon R Dinner Theatre Sept. 12-13, 19-20 and 25-27. Dinner I T begins at 7 p.m., with the show star ting at 8 p.m. Tickets are $30 civilians; $28 seniors (65 years of age and older), retirees, DA civilians and active duty E8 and above; $17 active duty E7 and below; or $12 show only. For more information or ticket reservations, call the box of fice at 793-8552 or visit www.for tgordon.com. 1 S E P T 1 “THE MAN BEHIND THE MASQUE: A TRIBUTE TO 2 JAIME BURCHAM” will be at the Imperial Theatre Sept. 0 16, 7 p.m. Call 261-0555 for details 0 3 “CAROUSEL” will be presented by the Augusta Opera Sept. 11-13, 8 p.m., at the Imperial Theatre. Opera chat begins one hour before per formance. For tickets and information, call 826-4710 or visit www.augustaopera.com. SEASON TICKETS FOR THE AUGUSTA PLAYERS 2003/2004 MAINSTAGE SEASON now on sale. Shows include “Grease,” “Annie,” “Evita” and “The Wiz.” Season ticket packages range from $75-$124, with additional packages including the Glass Slipper Ball annual fundraiser in October. For more information, visit www.augustaplayers.com or call 826-4707. Attractions AUGUSTA CANAL INTERPRETIVE CENTER: Housed in Enterprise Mill, the center contains displays and models focusing on the Augusta Canal’s functions and importance to the tex tile industry. Hours are Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m. and Sun., 1-6 p.m. Admission is $5 adult, $4 seniors and military and $3 children ages 6-18. Children under 6 admit ted free. For information, visit www.augustacanal.com or call 823-0440. THE BOYHOOD HOME OF WOODROW WILSON: Circa 1859 Presby terian manse occupied by the family of President Woodrow Wilson as a child during the Civil War and Reconstruction. Original and period antiques, restored house, kitchen and carriage house. 419 Seventh Street. Open 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Tues.-Sat. Tours available; groups of 10 or more by appointment only. Admission is $5 adults, $4 seniors, $3 students under 18 and free for ages 5 and under. 722-9828. AUGUSTA GOLF & GARDENS OF THE GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME features beautiful display gardens, as well as bronze sculptures of some of golf’s greatest masters. Available for rent for a variety of functions. Group discount rates available. Closed Mondays; open from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Tues.-Sat.; open from 1-5 p.m. on Sunday. New spring and summer hours begin March 21: open Tues.-Sat. 9 a.m.-9 p.m. and Sundays 11 a.m.-7 p.m. Admission is $5.50 for adults; $4.50 for students, seniors and military; $3.50 for children (4 to 12); free for children 3 and under. Sundays are two for one with a Super Sunday coupon. Annual garden memberships are available. Call 724-4443 or 1-888874-4443. Also, visit their Web site at www.gghf.org. NATIONAL SCIENCE CENTER’S FORT DISCOVERY: Children and adults alike can immerse themselves in the wonders of science through live demonstrations, vir tual realities, Starlab, KidScape and more than 250 hands-on exhibits. General Admission: $8 for adults; $6 for children, seniors and active military. Group rates available. Operating hours: Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sunday, noon-5 p.m. Call 821-0200, 1-800-325-5445 or visit their Web site at www.NationalScienceCenter.org. REDCLIFFE STATE HISTORIC SITE: 1859 mansion of S.C. Governor James Henry Hammond, held by the family for three generations until 1975. Grounds and slave quar ters are open Thursday-Monday, 9 a.m.-6 p.m. House tours will be of fered on Saturdays and Sundays at 1, 2 and 3 p.m. Admission to the grounds is free. Fee for house tours is $3 for adults and children ages 6-17. For more information, call (803) 8271473. 181 Redclif fe Road, Beech Island. SACRED HEART CULTUR AL CENTER is of fering tours of its 100-year-old building. Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. $1 per person, children free. 826-4700. HISTORIC COTTON EXCHANGE WELCOME CENTER: Open Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sun. 1-5 p.m. Riverwalk. Free. The center also of fers guided driving tours of downtown Augusta and Summerville every Allen Brandenburger’s “Catalochee Ghost #2” is just one of the works you’ll find at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art’s juried exhibition “A Sense of Place: Continuity and Change in the New South,” on display through Oct. 24. Gallery talk, reception and awards ceremony will be held Sept. 19. Saturday through Aug. 4 from 1:30-3:30 p.m. and at other times upon request. Cost for tours is $10 for adults and $5 for children ages 12 and under. Reservations are suggested. Call 724-4067. THE EZEKIEL HARRIS HOUSE: Deemed “the finest 18th century house surviving in Georgia” by the “Smithsonian Guide to Historic America.” Open Saturday, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. General admission is $2; senior admission is $1 and children get in for 50 cents. For more information, call 724-0436. Museums STARKEY FLYTHE DISCUSSES THE FUGITIVES, a literary group that emerged in 1920s Tennessee, at The Morris Museum of Ar t 7 p.m. Sept. 11. Admission is $3 adults, $2 seniors, students and military and free for museum members. Call 724-7501 for details. AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY FILM SERIES in conjunction with “The National Pastime in Black and White: The Negro Baseball Leagues, 1867-1955” exhibit. All films will be shown in the museum’s History Theatre beginning at 2 p.m. and are free. Sept. 21 showing of “There Was Always Sun Shining Someplace: Life in the Negro Baseball Leagues,” Sept. 28 showing of “Only the Ball Was White” and Oct. 5 showing of “Kings of the Hill.” 722-8454. “RETURN OF THE DINOSAURS” exhibit at For t Discovery through Sept. 21. A group of animatronic dinosaurs will be on display in the Knox Gallery. Admission to the exhibit is free with paid general admission to For t Discovery. For information, call 8210200 or 1-800-325-5445. THE GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART in Ware’s Folly exhibits works by local and regional ar tists. Ar t classes, workshops and other educational programming for children, youth and adults are held in the Walker-Mackenzie Studio. Ware’s Folly galleries open Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Thursday, 10 a.m.-7 p.m.; and Saturday by appointment only. The Walker-Mackenzie Studio gallery is open Tuesday-Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Admission is free, but a donation of $2 for adults and $1 for children and seniors is encouraged. Call 722-5495 for more info. THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY hosts permanent exhibition “Augusta’s Story,” an award-winning exhibit encompassing 12,000 years of local history. For the younger crowd, there’s the Susan L. Still Children’s Discovery Gallery, where kids can learn about history in a hands-on environment. The museum also shows films in the History Theatre and hosts a variety of programs. Located at 560 Reynolds Street. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday 1-5 p.m. Admission is $4 adult, $3 seniors, $2 kids (6-18 years of age) and free for children under 6. Free admission on Sundays. Call 722-8454 or visit www.augustamuseum.org for more information. CATTYSHACK CATS CHAMPIONSHIP AND HOUSEHOLD PET CAT SHOW Sept. 13-14 at the Nor th Augusta Activities Center. Admission is $4 adults, $3 seniors and children and free for children under 4. For more information, contact Liz Flynn, 860-1521. THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART hosts exhibitions and special events year-round. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sundays, noon-5 p.m. Closed on Mondays and major holidays. 1 Tenth Street, Augusta. Call 724-7501 or visit www.themorris.org for details. UNITY DAY CELEBR ATION Sept. 19, 7 p.m., at Williams Memorial CME Church, 1630 Fif teenth St. For more information, contact the City of Augusta Human Relations Commission, 821-2506. THE MUSEUM OF LAUREL AND HARDY OF HARLEM, GEORGIA features displays of various Laurel and Hardy memorabilia; films also shown. Located at 250 N. Louisville Street in downtown Harlem. Open 1-4 p.m. Thursday-Monday. For more information, call 556-3448. LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information. Special Events ARTS IN THE HEART OF AUGUSTA FESTIVAL Sept. 19-21 at Augusta Common. Celebrate the visual and per forming ar ts with displays and enter tainment by local, regional and national ar tists. For more information, call the Greater Augusta Ar ts Council, 826-4702. AIKEN’S MAKIN’ FESTIVAL Sept. 12-13 at the parkways on Park Avenue in downtown Aiken. Enjoy local musicians and enter tainers, craf ters and more from 10 a.m.-6 p.m. each day. For more information, call David Toole, (803) 641-1111. FORT GORDON POW/MIA RECOGNITION CEREMONY Sept. 19, 10 a.m., at the POW/MIA monument. For more information, call 791-6001. 2003 COLLEGE NIGHT Sept. 16, 5-8:30 p.m., at the Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center. High-school students and their parents will have the oppor tunity to meet with representatives from more than 150 colleges, learn about scholarships and financial aid and tuition. For more information, visit the Outreach Programs por tion of the www.srs.gov Web site. GREEKNIC ‘03 stepshow will be at the Georgia/Carolina fairgrounds Sept. 20. Live enter tainment and other activities will be featured. Gates open at 11 a.m. and the stepshow begins at noon. Tickets, which can be purchased at All About Music and Pyramid Music, are $10 general admission, $8 for Paine College students with ID and free at the gate for children under 6. For more information, contact Spencer Gar trell, 798-6810 or 793-4156. BOOK-SIGNING AND AUTHOR’S TALK by Ralph Watkins, sociology professor at Augusta State University and author of “I Ain’t Afraid To Speak My Mind” Sept. 12-13 at Borders Books and Music. Sept. 12 book-signing from 4-7 p.m. with author’s talk at 5:30 p.m.; Sept. 13 book-signing from 2-6 p.m. with author’s talk at 2:30 p.m. Call 737-1444 for details. BORDER BASH Sept. 12, 7 p.m., at Augusta Common. Enter tainment will be provided by The Swingin’ Medallions, the University of Georgia and the University of South Carolina cheerleaders and mascots. Proceeds benefit the Medical College of Georgia’s Children’s Medical Center. Admission is $5. 721-3957. APPLICATIONS FOR COMMUNITY ENABLING FUNDS from the Junior League of Augusta are now being accepted by area non-profit agencies. Grants are available in November to be used for par ticular projects and needs. To be eligible, applications must be submit ted from a non-profit and ta x-exempt (501)(C3) agency and monies must be used within the CSRA. Application deadline is Sept. 13. For more information, contact the Junior League of Augusta, 736-0033. “JOURNEY INTO THE LIVING CELL” will be at the Dupont Planetarium Sept. 19-20, 7 and 8 p.m. Tickets are $4.50 adult, $3.50 senior citizens, $2.50 K-12 students and $1 for USC-Aiken faculty, staf f and students. For more information, call (803) 641-3654. WREATH LAYING CEREMONY with the Augusta Chapter of the National Society of the Daughters of the American Revolution 11 a.m. Sept. 12 at the gravesite of Colonel William Few at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church. Ceremony is par t of the celebration of Constitution week, Sept. 13-17. For more information, contact Ramona Mills, 868-5313. AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY CIVIC CENTER JOB FAIR 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Sept. 13 in Meeting Room A of the Civic Center. Call 722-3521 for details. CLYDE BEATTY/COLE BROS. CIRCUS will be at the Augusta Mall Sept. 18-21. Shows are 4 and 7 p.m. Thursday-Friday; 10:30 a.m., 4:30 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. Saturday; and 1:30 and 4:30 p.m. Sunday. Tickets are $9-$22; buy reserved seats in advance and save $2 of f the admission price. For more information, call 1800-796-5672 or 1-888-332-5600. “I HAVE LIVED INSIDE THE MONSTER” lecture by author and criminal profiler Rober t Ressler is par t of ASU’s Lyceum Series, Sept. 12, 7:30 p.m. at the Ma xwell Per forming Ar ts Theatre. Free. Call 7371444. LAKESIDE HIGH SCHOOL CLASS OF 1993 REUNION Sept. 20. For more information, call Dana, 860-1924, or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. SATURDAY MARKET ON BROAD: Main Street Augusta is seeking farmers and vendors in the CSRA to market homemade and homegrown products in downtown Augusta on Saturday mornings through October 25. Market is open to the public at Augusta Common 8 a.m.-1 p.m. For more information, contact Mary Killen of Main Street Augusta, 722-8000, or Sheri Chambers, 664-1054 or 564-6231. MCDUFFIE FRIENDS OF ANIMALS holds pet adoptions each Saturday, 1-3 p.m. at Superpetz on Bobby Jones Expressway. Call 556-9090 or visit www.pet finder.com. COLUMBIA COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. and every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. at PetsMar t. For more info, call 860-5020. RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL AND AUGUSTA ANIMAL RESCUE FRIENDS hold pet adoptions at Superpetz of f Bobby Jones Expressway every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. Call AARF at 364-4747 or visit www.aar f.net. Adoptions also held at the Richmond County Animal Control Shelter, Tues.-Sun., 1-5 p.m. Call the shelter at 790-6836. THE CSR A HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. and every Wednesday evening from 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Rd. 261-PETS. Out of Town “ESCADA FASHION SHOW: THE ART OF GREAT FASHION” will be presented by the Telfair Museum of Ar t Sept. 23, 11 a.m., at The Plantation Club in Savannah, Ga. Tickets are $35 per person and must be reserved by Sept. 19; call (912) 598-0839 or (912) 232-1177, ex t. 15. MOJA ARTS FESTIVAL Sept. 25-Oct. 5 in Charleston, S.C. For more information, call (843) 724-7305 or visit www.mojafestival.com. DOWNSTREAM FILM FESTIVAL Sept. 12-21 in Decatur, Ga. For more information, visit www.downstreamfest.com or call (770) 998-2288. TASTE OF ATLANTA Sept. 19-21 at Lenox Square in Atlanta. For ticket information, visit www.tasteofatlanta.org. SOUTH CAROLINA HALF-IRONMAN TRIATHLON will be held Sept. 14, 8 a.m., at Lake Greenwood State Park in Greenwood, S.C. To register, call Kelly Kirkpatrick, (864) 223-8431 or visit www.set-upinc.com. MAIZE QUEST CORNFIELD MAZE through Nov. 9, 9 a.m.-10 p.m., at Washington Farms in Watkinsville, Ga. Tickets are $7 adult and $5 children 4-12 years old, with group discounts available for groups of 20 or more. For information, visit www.CornMaze.com or www.washingtonfarms.net, or call (706) 769-0627. NETHERWORLD HAUNTED HOUSE weekends in September, every night in October and Nov. 1-2 at the Georgia Antique and Design Center. Doors open nightly at 7 p.m. Netherworld Dark Harvest ticket is $14, combo Dark Harvest and Vault 13 ticket is $20. Call the hotline at (404) 608-2484. “THE CR AWLASEUM: A LIVE BUG EXHIBIT” will be at Callaway Gardens in Pine Mountain, Ga., through Oct. 31. Exhibit is free with gardens admission. For more information, call 1-800-CALLAWAY. ART IN THE PARK show at the American Legion Grounds in Blowing Rock, N.C., Sept. 13 from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. For more information, contact the Blowing Rock Chamber of Commerce at (828) 295-7851. GEORGIA MUSIC WEEK 2003 at the Georgia Music Hall of Fame in Macon, Ga., Sept. 15-19, with Brown Bag Boogie free lunchtime concer t series at noon daily and free Jammin’ in the Street Concer t Sept. 19, 8 p.m. Also, the 25th Annual Georgia Music Hall of Fame Awards will be held Sept. 13. For ticket info, call (770) 934-0906 or 1-888-GA-ROCKS. pure joy ▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼ Voted Best Steak In Augusta For 15 Years Become an anonymous egg donor! Ovations is seeking healthy, educated women between the ages of 18-31, living in or going to college in the Aiken-Augusta area. Suitable donors will be compensated in the sum of $5,000 1987-2002 “LES MISER ABLES” will be per formed by the Theater of the Stars in Atlanta through Sept. 14. For ticket information, visit www.theaterof thestars.com or call (404) 252-8960. AT THE HIGH MUSEUM OF ART in Atlanta through Oct. 26: “Ansel Adams and his Legacy,” “A Mat ter of Time: Edward Hopper From the Whitney Museum of American Ar t.” “The Undiscovered Richard Meier: The Architect as Designer and Ar tist” will be on exhibit Sept. 20-April 4, with a lecture on Nov. 18.Call (404) 733-HIGH or visit www.high.org for information. “THE SHAKESPEARE COMEDY SPECTACULAR,” featuring per formances of “The Taming of the Shrew,” “All’s Well That Ends Well,” “Twelf th Night,” “The Merry Wives of Windsor” and “Much Ado About Nothing,” will be at the New American Shakespeare Tavern in Atlanta throughout September. For more information, visit www.shakespearetavern.com or call (404) 874-5299. “RUINS AND RECONSTRUCTIONS: RECENT DR AWINGS AND SCULPTURE BY BRIAN RUST” exhibition at Bank of America Plaza in Atlanta through Oct. 2. Open 8 a.m.-6 p.m. Monday-Friday and by appointment. Free admission. For more information, call (404) 816-9777. “A SALUTE TO 25 YEARS OF THE GEORGIA MUSIC HALL OF FAME AWARDS” runs through Jan. 18, 2004, at the Georgia Music Hall of Fame in Macon, Ga. Exhibits, programs and events honoring the 25th anniversary of the Georgia Music Hall of Fame awards. Call 1-888-GA-ROCKS for info. 2856 Washington Rd. 73-STEAK 1654 Gordon Hwy. 796-1875 BERT YANCEY MEMORIAL GOLF TOURNAMENT Oct. 13 at the Mount Vintage Plantation Golf Club. Proceeds benefit the Mental Health Association of Greater Augusta, local af filiates of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill and Depression and Bipolar Suppor tive Alliance of Greater Augusta. Team cost is $600 and player cost is $150. Registration is 10 a.m. and shotgun star t is at noon. For information, e-mail email@example.com or contact Phylis Holliday, 7366857, or Hugh Green, 738-2939. WALK FOR AUTISM 2003 Sept. 13 at Riverwalk. Check-in time is 10 a.m., with the walk beginning at 11 a.m. Music, prizes and refreshments will also be featured. For more information, call 1-888-816-0060 or visit www.kidscareconnections.org. S E P T For more information call 733-0130 1-866-517-7513 Ft Closing Ceremonies Sunday, September 21 Cut n Dan o ce 5:00pm y Cit n e d Gar horus C www.augustaarts.com No Pets or Coolers! Mashed Potatoes Candied Yams Tossed Salad GEORGIA SHAKESPEARE FESTIVAL runs through Nov. 2 with per formances of “Much Ado About Nothing,” “The School for Wives,” “The Tale of Cymbeline” and “The Tempest.” Tickets are $23-$32, with special $10 preview shows. Held at the Conant Per forming Ar ts Center on the campus of Oglethorpe University in Atlanta. Call (404) 264-0020 for information. Benefits M E T R O S P I R I T Din . Gor sell do ner Rus own The n r B atr Arts in the Heart of Augusta l e Joe COWPAR ADE ATLANTA features over 200 life-sized, fiberglass cows painted by local ar tists and placed throughout Atlanta. The cows will be on public display through Sept. 14. For information, call (404) 898-2915 or visit www.cowparadeatlanta.com. AT THE GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART in Athens, Ga.: “‘Leaves Have Their Time To Fall...’: Reflections of Mourning in 19th Century Decorative Ar ts,” through Sept. 14; “Af ter Many Years: The Paintings of Wilmer W. Wallace and Lamar Dodd,” through Sept. 14; “Masters of Their Craf t: Highlights From the Smithsonian American Ar t Museum,” Sept. 13-Nov. 13; “Conversion to Modernism: The Early Works of Man Ray,” Sept. 20-Nov. 30. Call (706) 542-4662. 31 1 1 ▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼ SEPTEMBER FILM SERIES at Headquar ters Library 6:30 p.m. Tuesdays throughout September. Admission is free. Sept. 16 screening of “To Dance With the White Dog,” Sept. 23 screening of “Monty Py thon and the Holy Grail,” Sept. 30 screening of “Election.” 8212600. Ser ved with Cornbread & Tea $6.00 One Vegetable only $5.25 Plates Ser ved with Rolls & Tea BBQ Plate . . . . . . . . . . . .$6.75 1/2 Fried Chicken with Two Vegetables . . . . . . . . . . . .$7.40 Vegetable Plate $5.00 Salads 4 veggies, tea & cornbread Tuna Salad Cold Plate Chicken Salad Cold Plate Chef Salad with Ham Chef Salad with Turkey Chef Salad with Grilled-R-Fried Chicken Chef Salad with Tuna Desserts Cakes, Banana Pudding, Jell-O $1.35 each and Catering! THE REAL MEAL Meats (Choice of one) Grilled Chicken Breast HB Steak & Gravy Baby Beef Liver w/ Onions Hash and Rice Smothered Chicken w/ gravy* Fried Chicken* Wings (4) Fried Fish Filet Veggies (Choice of two) **selection changes daily Green Beans/Field Peas** Turnip Greens/ Steamed Cabbage** Squash Casserole/ Macaroni and Cheese** Rice and Gravy Cole Slaw Pasta/Potato Salad Combinations Fat Burger Combo with French Fries . . . . . . . . . .$3.00 add cheese 35¢ Fat Dog Combo with French Fries . . . . . . . . . .$3.00 Bacon Cheeseburger with French Fries or Salad . . .$4.00 Soup & Sandwich . . . . .$3.60 BBQ Sandwich w/ Hash and Rice . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5.00 Chicken Combos Chicken Filet with Fries or Tossed Salad . . . . . . . . .$5.00 Grilled Chicken Sandwich with French Fries . . . . . .$5.00 Chicken Fingers with French Fries . . . . . . . . . .$5.00 Pearl's Homemade Favorites Hash and Rice with Bread . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$3.00 Vegetable Soup . . . . . . .$2.50 $5.00 each Chef Salad (naked) . . . . .$2.75 Tuna-R-Chicken Salad on let tuce . . . . . . . . . .$2.75 Dressing Ranch, Creamy Italian, 1000 Island, Bleu Cheese, Honey Mustard, French Sandwiches Ser ved with Potato Chips Chicken Salad . . . . . . . .$2.75 Tuna Salad . . . . . . . . . . .$2.75 Fried Ham . . . . . . . . . . . .$2.75 Ham and Cheese . . . . .$3.10 BBQ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$3.10 Hamburger . . . . . . . . . . .$2.75 Cheeseburger . . . . . . . .$3.10 Hot Dog . . . . . . . . . . . .$2.50 Sausage Dog . . . . . . . . .$2.50 Fried Chicken Filet . . . .$3.80 Grilled Chicken Filet . . .$3.80 Fish Sandwich . . . . . . .$3.10 Grilled Cheese . . . . . . .$2.75 BLT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$2.75 Club Sandwich . . . . . . .$4.25 Substitute French Fries 85¢ SAFE HOMES DOMESTIC VIOLENCE INTERVENTION CENTER hosts its annual fundraising dinner Sept. 24. Keynote speaker is Ronda Rich, author of “What Southern Women Know” and “My Life in the Pits.” For information, call Safe Homes at 736-2499. 1717 Laney-Walker Blvd. • In Better Augusta, Georgia AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL is in need of dog and cat food, cat lit ter and other pet items, as well as monetary donations to help pay for vaccinations. Donations accepted during regular busi- NOW ORDER ONLINE AT WWW.2GO-BOX.COM Check us out on the web at w w w.fatmans.com for a more ex tensive look at our Café and Catering Menu WE DELIVER 733-1740 2 0 0 3 hours, Tues.-Sun., 1-5 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 32 ness Mack Lane. Call 790-6836 for information. M E T R O S P I R I T SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER BLOOD DRIVES in various locations around the CSRA this month. The blood center is urging people of all blood types to donate in order to combat a blood supply shor tage. For detailed information on locations and times to donate, visit www.shepeardblood.org. You may also call Susan Edwards at (803) 643-7996 for information on Aiken locations and Nancy Szocinski at 737-4551 for information on all other locations. AMERICAN RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES at the Aiken S Red Cross Blood Center on Millbrook Drive and the E Augusta Red Cross Blood Center on Pleasant Home P Road. The bloodmobile will also stop at various area T locations this week. For a complete list, call the Aiken 1 Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Blood 1 Center at 868-8800. 2 0 0 3 Learning BEGINNER’S INTERNET I class Sept. 24, 6-8 p.m., at the Gibbs Library. Registration is required; call 863-1946. AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY’S BORN TO READ LITER ACY CENTER presents Literacy Make and Take Hands-On Curriculum Activities for Young Children Sept. 20, 8 a.m.-2 p.m. at the ASU Literacy Center. Cost is $24 and par ticipants will receive 6 DHR approved hours. Register by calling 733-7043. USC-AIKEN CONTINUING EDUCATION of fers sign language, conversational French, Italian, yoga and more. (803) 641-3563. COMPUTER BASICS class at the Friedman Branch Library Sept. 15 and 17, 6-7:30 p.m. Registration required; call 736-6758. AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is now of fering the following classes: accupressure, Computer Literacy I, Beginning Photography, How To Get People To Pay, Managing Problem Employees, Your Home Gym, aquacise and more. Also, ASU of fers online courses. For more information, call 737-1636 or visit www.ced.aug.edu. AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION of fers the following courses: Microsof t Cer tified System Administrator, Heal th Care courses, Massage and Body work Therapy, Rape Aggression Defense, South Carolina Childcare Training System, Real Estate courses, Defensive Driving, Driver Education and more. Aiken Tech also of fers Education to Go classes online. For more information or to register, call (803) 593-9231, ex t. 1230. Health PROSTATE HEALTH AWARENESS EVENTS: The Viagra car will be on display in the MCG Annex parking lot Sept. 16-17 from 9 a.m.-6 p.m., and information on prostate health and erectile dysfunction will be available; MCG Health System is offering low-cost prostate cancer screenings throughout September. Call 721-3042 for an appointment. MOBILE MAMMOGR APHY UNIT SCREENINGS will be at the Universit y Seniors Club 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Sept. 24. Call 774-4145 to schedule an appointment. PUBLIC FORUM ON DISABILITY LEGISLATIVE ISSUES Sept. 19, 10 a.m.-noon, at Augusta Tech Information and Technology Center Audi torium. For more information, contact Wal ton Options for Independent Living at 724-6262, ex t. 320. WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL of fers a number of health programs, including fibromyalgia aquatics, water aerobics, ar thritis aquatics, wheelchair and equipment clinics, people with ar thritis can exercise, theraputic massage, yoga, focus on healing exercise class for breast cancer sur vivors and more. Call 823-5294 for information. HATHA YOGA with Tess Stephens at the St. Joseph Wellness Center in Daniel Village Plaza. Day time classes held from 10 a.m.-noon Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Evening classes held from 5:30-7:30 p.m. Monday and Wednesday and also 6:30-8:30 p.m. Tuesday and Thursday. Cost is $60 per month for unlimited classes or $10 per class. For more information, contact Tess at 738-2782. FREE HATHA AND KRIYA YOGA CLASSES at Christ Church Unity. Hatha Yoga classes Mondays and Wednesdays, 9-10:30 a.m.; meditation-focused Kriya Yoga Tuesdays 6-7:30 p.m. Voluntary of ferings are accepted. Call 738-2458 for more information. THE MCG BREAST CANCER SUPPORT GROUP meets the third Thursday of every month at 7 p.m. and provides education and suppor t for those with breast cancer. For information, call 721-1467. DIET COUNSELING CLASSES for diabetics and those with high cholesterol at CSRA Par tners in Health, 1220 Augusta West Park way. Free. Call 860-3001 for class schedule. PROJECT LINK COMMUNITY LECTURE SERIES is held the first Tuesday of every month and is sponsored by the MCG Children’s Medical Center. Project Link provides educational resources and guidance for families who have children with developmental delays, disabilities and other specialized health concerns. Free and open to the public; takes place from 6:30-8 p.m. in the main conference room at the Children’s Medical Center. Call 721-6838 for information. UNIVERSITY HEALTH CARE SYSTEM COMMUNITY EDUCATION holds workshops, seminars and classes on a variety of topics: weight and nutrition, women’s health, cancer, diabetes, seniors’ health and more. Suppor t groups and health screenings are also of fered. Call 736-0847 for details. PEACHCARE FOR KIDS AND RIGHT FROM THE START MEDICADE offer free or low-cost health coverage to qualifying families. Coverage includes prenatal care, hospitalization, vaccines, dental and vision care and is available to pregnant women of all ages and to children through age 19. Contact the RSM Project at 729-2086 or 721-5611 for information. YOGA CLASSES at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital are held on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 7-8 a.m. for $45/month or 10:30 a.m. to noon for $55/month. Call 823-6294. FREE HIV/AIDS TESTING every Tuesday from 4-7 p.m. at St. Stephen’s Ministry, 922 Greene Street. Free anonymous testing, pre- and post-test counseling and education. A FREE WOMEN’S HEALTH CLINIC is held from 6-8 p.m. on Tuesdays at the Salvation Army and Welfare Center, 1383 Greene St. Ser vices include Pap smear, breast exam and the diagnosis and treatment of sexually transmit ted diseases. For more info or an appointment, call the St. Vincent dePaul Health Center at 828-3444. W.G. WATSON, M.D., WOMEN’S CENTER CONDUCTS EDUCATION CLASSES at University Hospital. Course topics include Lamaze, breast feeding, parenting and grandparenting. Par tners will learn positive suppor t techniques. There are also programs designed to help older siblings adjust to new family members. Some classes are free, while others require a fee. Registration is required by calling 774-2825. Kids YOUNG ARTISTS PAINTING for children ages 7 and older at the H.O. Weeks Center. Program meets 4-5:30 p.m. Thursdays, Sept. 11-Oct. 16. Cost is $50 plus $20 materials fee. Call (803) 642-7631 for information. FREE CAR SEAT EDUCATION CLASSES for parents and other caregivers the third Monday of every month, beginning Sept. 15, at MCG Children’s Medical Center from 9-11 a.m. Registration is required; those who are Medicaid or Peachcare eligible should indicate status during registration and bring a card or proof of income to class in order to receive a free car seat. 721-KIDS. STORYTIME IN THE GARDENS Tuesdays, 4 p.m., through October in Hopeland Gardens. Local senior citizens will read children’s stories to kids ages 8 and under. All children will receive a free book to take home. Bring snacks and a blanket or chair to sit on. Rain location is the H.O. Weeks Center. Call (803) 642-7631. BABY SAFETY MONTH ACTIVITIES: Baby fest Sept. 12-19 at Babies R Us with car seat safety check by Safe Kids 2-6 p.m. Sept. 16. For more information or volunteer oppor tunities, call 721-KIDS. SEPTEMBER FAMILY FUN DAY at the Augusta Museum of History Sept. 14, 1-5 p.m. Program features an opening day celebration for the museum’s latest special exhibition, “The National Pastime in Black and White: The Negro Baseball Leagues, 1867-1955.” Admission is free. 722-8454. “TECHNOLOGY AND TENNIS FOR LIFE” FALL SESSION through MACH Academy will be held through Dec. 18 at May Park Community Center or Fleming Tennis Center. Program includes homework assistance, computer instruction, tennis and fitness instruction, field trips and more. Fee is $50 per month. For information, call 796-5046. GIRLS INCORPOR ATED OF THE CSR A AFTERSCHOOL PROGR AM runs through May 21, 2004. Open to girls currently enrolled in kindergar ten through high school. In addition to of fering specialized programs, Girls Incorporated of fers van pick-up at select schools, neighborhood drop-of f, homework room and a hot evening meal. For information, call 733-2512. STORYLAND THEATRE is now taking reservations for the 2003-2004 season: “Sleeping Beauty” Oct. 28Nov. 1, “The Cour tship of Senorita Florabella” Feb. 2428 and “Hansel and Gretel” April 13-17. Season tickets for weekday school per formances are $9 per student; season tickets for Saturday family matinees are $10.50 per person. For reservations, call Storyland Theatre at 736-3455 or fa x a request to 736-3349. YOUTH LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT SKILLS PROGRAM for teens ages 12-19 held the third Saturday of the month at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Call 724-3576. WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS at all branch libraries. Visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for more information. FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum. In addition, there is a tour of the museum. Held 10 a.m.-noon the first Saturday of the month. Call 724-3576. Seniors MS. SENIOR GEORGIA-CAROLINA PAGEANT will be held Sept. 13, 7 p.m., at ASU’s Per forming Ar ts Theatre. Tickets are $10 and available from the Senior Citizens Council, 826-4480. COMPUTER COURSES: Internet and E-mail for Seniors, Sept. 15-16 at Aiken Technical College. Classes run 9 a.m.-noon and cost is $50. Call (803) 593-9231, ex t. 1230. SENIOR VOLUNTEERS NEEDED FOR THE NEW VISITOR CENTER AT PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise. Volunteers are asked to commit one Saturday or Sunday per month, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m. Call 8282109 for information. FIT 4 EVER LIGHT IMPACT FITNESS CLASS is $25 for 12 tickets for Aiken city residents and $45 for all others. Classes are held at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, 10-11 a.m. Call (803) 642-7631 for information. THE CARE MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT COMPANY, a non-profit organization, provides transpor tation for seniors who live in the 30906 and 30815 zip code area. For a minimal fee, door-to-door shut tles provide safe, clean and dependable transpor tation 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Appointments must be made 24 hours in advance; call Linda Washington, 733-8771, or leave a message for more information. COMPUTER CLASSES FOR SENIOR CITIZENS Tuesdays and Thursdays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. at Shiloh Comprehensive Community Center. For more information, call 738-0089. AIKEN PARKS AND RECREATION of fers a multitude of programs for senior adults, including bridge clubs, fitness classes, canasta clubs, line dancing, racquetball, ar ts and craf ts, tennis and excursions. For more information, call (803) 642-7631. JUD C. HICKEY CENTER FOR ALZHEIMER’S CARE provides families and caregivers of those with Alzheimer’s disease and dementia a break during the day. Activities and care available at the adult day center, and homecare is available as well. For information, call 738-5039. THE ACADEMY FOR LIFELONG LEARNING offers lectures, courses, field trips, discussion groups and community information seminars on a variety of topics to mature adults. For more information, contact the USCAiken Office of Continuing Education at (803) 641-3288. THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL OF GREATER AUGUSTA AND THE CSR A of fers a variety of classes, including ballroom dance, aerobics, quilting, tai chi, Spanish, line dancing, bowling, bridge, computers, drama club/readers theatre and pinochle. For dates and times, phone 826-4480. SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for and access to computer technology. Many different courses are of fered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education Of fice at (803) 641-3563. Sports MONSTER MOTORNATIONALS Sept. 19-20, 8 p.m., at the Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center. Tickets are $14 in advance and $17 the day of show for adults and $5.50-$13 for children 12 and under. For more information, call 722-3521. BROAD STREET R AMBLE road race Sept. 20, 7:30 a.m.-10 a.m. at the Augusta Museum of History. Featured events include two-mile run, a half-mile kids run, 10K run, one-mile kids run and tot trot. For more information or to register, call 737-9114 or visit www.augustastriders.org. LAS VEGAS GLADIATORS ARENA FOOTBALL OPEN TRYOUT Sept. 13, 8 a.m., at McCants Middle School in Anderson, S.C. Par ticipants will be tested in the 40 yard dash, 20 yard shut tle and one-on-one football drills. Fee is $50. For more information, visit w ww.ArenaCoach.com or call Stan Davis at (702) 731-4977. AIKEN COUNTY PONY CLUB meets weekly. For more information, call (803) 649-3399. AUGUSTA FENCERS CLUB holds new classes for beginners star ting in September. Youth class for 1114 year olds meets Tuesdays, 5:30-6:20 p.m., and adult class meets Thursdays, 6-7 p.m. All competitive equipment provided; course fee is $100. Call 722-8878 to register. FAMILY Y FALL RECREATIONAL GYMNASTICS PROGR AM Oct. 27-Dec. 19. Classes are available for toddlers through teenagers. For info, call 738-6678. FAMILY Y FREE IN-LINE HOCKEY CLINICS for children and teens throughout September. For specific dates, times and locations, contact Donna Pope, 364-3269, or Winn Crenshaw, 733-1030. TOTAL FITNESS LUNCHTIME classes at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. For ty-minute classes of fer a full workout, and full shower and locker-room facilities are available. $15 per month. Call (803) 642-7631. INTRODUCTORY AND DROP-IN CLIMBING Fridays, 5:30-6:30 p.m., at the Virginia Acres Park Climbing Wall in Aiken. Cost is $5 per session. Call (803) 6427631 for information. THE AUGUSTA RUGBY CLUB is always looking for new members. Teams available for women and men; no experience necessary. Practice is Tuesday and Thursday nights, 7-9 p.m. at Richmond Academy. For more information, call Don Zuehlke, 495-2043, or email augustar firstname.lastname@example.org. You may also visit www.augustarugby.org. Volunteer UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL R APE CRISIS AND SEXUAL ASSAULT SERVICES VOLUNTEER TR AINING Sept. 1922 in hospital cafeteria Conference Rooms 1 and 6. For more information, call 774-2769. MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART VOLUNTEER TOUR GUIDE TRAINING begins Sept. 23. A background in ar t history or education is not necessary. Docents commit to volunteering up to 36 hours per year for two years. For more information, contact Patricia Moore Shaffer, 724-7501. UNITED HOSPICE OF AUGUSTA is in need of volunteers to suppor t terminally ill patients. Scheduling and training times are flexible. Call Donna Harrell at 650-1522 for information. THE ARTISTS’ CONSERVATORY THEATRE OF THE CSR A is looking for volunteer board members, actors and production crew. Call 556-9134 or e-mail email@example.com. ARTS IN THE HEART OF AUGUSTA FESTIVAL is looking for volunteers to sell badges, beer and festival merchandise at this year’s festival, Sept. 19-21, at Augusta Common and River walk. For more information, contact Lisa Br yant, 560-3950, 724-3728 or L_A_Br firstname.lastname@example.org. SERVICE CORPS OF RETIRED EXECUTIVES (SCORE) provides counseling and mentoring to businesspeople star ting up a new business or expanding an ongoing business. Services are provided free of charge. For more information, call the Augusta of fice at 793-9998. SOUTHERNCARE HOSPICE SERVICE is currently seeking volunteers to per form a variety of tasks, including relieving caregivers, reading to patients and running errands. Training is included. For additional information, contact Lisa Simpson, (803) 463-9888 or 869-0205. THE SAVANNAH RIVER SITE CITIZENS ADVISORY BOARD is looking for interested Georgia and South Carolina citizens to run for membership in 2004-2005. Board membership requires a 10-15 hour per month time commitment and active par ticipation on one or more issues-based commit tees. Female applicants are especially needed. Call 1-800-249-8155 for a packet. COURT APPOINTED SPECIAL ADVOCATE PROGR AM VOLUNTEER TR AINING: The CASA program is looking for volunteers 21 years of age and older to advocate for abused and neglected children in the juvenile cour t system. Volunteers need no experience and will be provided with specialized training. Call 737-4631. CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY NEW VOLUNTEER ORIENTATION PROGRAM the third Saturday of every month at the Pet Center, 425 Wood St. Orientation star ts at 11 a.m. Volunteers under 18 years of age must have a parent or guardian present during orientation and while volunteering. Call 261-PETS for information. WORLD HERITAGE FOREIGN EXCHANGE PROGRAM is looking for area families, couples and single parents to host high-school-aged foreign exchange students for a semester or a year in the U.S. For more information, visit www.world-heritage.org or contact Beth Folland, (803) 279-2696 or 1-800-888-9040. THE KITTY ORTIZ DE LEON FOUNDATION needs volunteers to help promote organ donor awareness. For more information, please contact Cassandra Reed at 4810105 or email@example.com. GOLDEN HARVEST FOOD BANK needs volunteers during the day, from 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m. Monday-Friday, to help sor t donated products and assist in their agency shopping area. Help is needed year-round. If you are able to lif t 25 pounds, can commit to at least 3-4 hours per month and would like to help fight hunger in the Augusta area, contact Laurie Roper at 736-1199, ex t. 208. AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL: New volunteer orientation is scheduled the first Saturday of each month at 1 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Schedule subject to change; call 790-6836 to verify dates and times. SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER is seeking donors to prevent a blood supply shor tage. To donate call 737-4551, 854-1880 or (803) 643-7996. Meetings SELF HELP FOR HARD OF HEARING PEOPLE (SHHH) GROUP OF AUGUSTA meets Sept. 15, 5:30 p.m. at the First Baptist Church, 3500 Walton Way, in Room 100 of the Adult Education Building. For more information, contact Dave Welter, firstname.lastname@example.org or 738-2796. HOPE HOUSE BOARD OF DIRECTORS MEETING Sept. 18, 6 p.m., at Wachovia in Daniel Village. For more information, call 737-9879. SOCIETY FOR HUMAN RESOURCE MANAGEMENT AUGUSTA AREA CHAPTER meets 11:45 a.m.-1 p.m. Sept. 24 at the Holiday Inn West. Cost for non-members is $15; RSVP to Karen Whitman by Sept. 19 at 2202915 or email@example.com. THE MINDBENDER/DEPRESSION AND BIPOLAR SUPPORT ALLIANCE meets Sept. 17 6 p.m., at First Baptist Church, 3500 Walton Way, in Room 105 of the Walton Building. 722-0010. THE SIERRA CLUB meets Sept. 16, 6:30 p.m., for a discussion on SRS. Meeting will be held at the Unitarian Church on Walton Way Ex tension. 863-2324. THE AUGUSTA ROSE SOCIETY meets Sept. 16, 7:30 p.m. for a program on how to solve difficult landscape problems using roses. The society is open to the public and meets the third Tuesday of each month in the Sister Mary Louise Conference Room at St. Joseph Hospital. Call (803) 279-5502. “READ IT: ONE COMMUNITY, ONE BOOK” GROUP is reading “To Dance With the White Dog” by Terr y Kay and discussion groups meet Sept. 11, 4 p.m., at the Ma x well Branch Librar y and Sept. 18, 7 p.m., at the Gibbs Librar y. For info, call the Ma x well Branch Librar y at 793-2020 or the Gibbs Librar y at 863-1946. 33 AUGUSTA BRAIN INJURY SUPPORT GROUP meets the second Thursday of every month, 6 p.m., at Walton West TLC. Brain injury survivors, family members and caregivers are invited to at tend. Call 737-9300 for information. SPARKLING SINGLES FOR THE 50-PLUS GENERATION meets the second Thursday of every month at The Senior Citizens Council of Greater Augusta and the CSRA. Contact Regina Orlosky or Bobbie Olivero at 826-4480 for more information. THE AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE AMERICAN SINGLES GOLF ASSOCIATION meets the second Thursday of every month at different area restaurants. The group also holds golf outings and socials. Open to those single, 21 and over and interested in golf. Call (803) 4416741 for information and meeting location. JAZZ What’s Your Sound? ROCK Come Find Out! IVE ALTERNAT FOLK Arts in the Heart of Augusta GOSPEL COMMUNITY STAGE September 19-21, 2003 BLUES www.augustaarts.com No Pets or Coolers! SOUTHERN THE GIBBS LIBRARY BOOK DISCUSSION GROUP is reading “Bel Canto” by Ann Patchet t and will meet Sept. 15, 7 p.m. Call 863-1946 for information. Weekly OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS 12-Step recovery program meets Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays in Augusta and Saturdays in Waynesboro. No dues or fees. For meeting times and places, call 278-5156. 10 oz. T-Bone Athens Potatoes Bread “A COURSE IN MIR ACLES” DISCUSSION GROUP meets Wednesdays, 7 p.m., at Christ Church Unity to explore writings on spirituality and inner peace. Call 738-2458. $5.95 Monday & Tuesday Only NAR-ANON FAMILY GROUP for relatives and friends of drug abusers. No dues or fees. The group meets Mondays at 7 p.m. in Room 430 of the Summerville Building beside St. Joseph’s Hospital. For information, contact Kathy, 650-0947, or Josie, 414-5576. Niko’s ATHENS ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: For more information and a meeting schedule, call 860-8331. OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS meets Tuesdays, 6-7:30 p.m. Call 785-0006 for location and information. Restaurant & Taverna 246 Bobby Jones Expressway 868-1508 NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: If you want to stop using any drugs, there is a way out. Help is available at no cost. Call the Narcotics Anonymous help line for information and meeting schedules at 855-2419. the Augusta Players OR presents FREE ‘N’ ONE SUPPORT GROUP for those bat tling addiction to drugs and alcohol. Approach is a spiritual one. Held ever y Thursday night. For information, contact Sarah Barnes, 772-7325. TOUGH LOVE SUPPORT GROUP Monday nights, 6:30-7:30 p.m. at the South Augusta Resource Center. Learn how to understand addiction and how to exercise tough love with those you care about. Call Sarah Barnes, 772-7325, for info. GEORGIA-CAROLINA TOASTMASTERS meets Wednesdays at noon at the Clubhouse, 2567 Washington Rd. $8 for lunch; visitors welcome. 860-9854. SEXAHOLICS ANONYMOUS, a 12-step program of recovery from addiction to obsessive/compulsive sexual thoughts and behaviors, meets Wednesdays at 8 p.m. and Saturdays at 7 p.m. at Augusta counseling Services. Call 339-1204 and leave first name and phone number; a confidential reply is assured. DE RT OD A Sept.26-27 at 8pm; Sept. 28 at 3pm at the book, music & lyrics by jim jacobs & warren casey Grease is presented through special arrangemennt with Samuel French. for tickets, call ... or visit us on the web @ a u g u s t a p l a y e r s . c o m AUGUSTA TOASTMASTERS CLUB #326 meets Thursdays at 7:30 p.m. at Advent Lutheran Church. Call 868-8431. Flatiron Steak with shallots, red wine and roasted rosemary potatoes 1600 BUSINESS NETWORK INTERNATIONAL Augusta Chapter meets every Thursday morning from 7-8:30 a.m. at the Cour tyards by Mariot t. The group is a business networking group designed to give and receive referrals. All professionals welcome. For more information or to join, call Barbara Crenshaw, 868-3772. Truite en “Bleu” mountain trout sauteed, topped with Gorgonzola blue cheese sauce, nested on braised leeks, spinach and new potatoes 1600 RIVERWALK TOASTMASTERS meets Mondays, 7 p.m. in Classroom 3 at University Hospital. Call Gale Kan, 855-7071. GUIDELINES: Public service announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor. Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, Metro Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fa x (706) 733-6663. You may also e-mail listings to firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com. Listings cannot be taken over the phone. Wine Spectator Award of Excellence 2001/2002/2003 404 Telfair Serving Augusta Since 1987 S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 INDUSTRIES CHRIST-BASED RECOVERY MEETING every Tuesday, 6:30 p.m., at the Love & Light Healing Center. Please use the back entrance. For information, contact Kenny Stacy, 373-5585. M E T R O Downtown Augusta 722-4805 lamaisontelfair.com Open Late on Show Dates Gigot d’Agneau Provencale the most tender part of the leg of lamb, with garden fresh herbs de Provence and garlic, with flageolet beans and natural jus 1600 34 M E T R O S P I R I T Arts: Theatre The 2003-2004 Theatre Season Has Begun! By Rhonda Jones S E P T 1 1 Photo by Steve Walpert Photo by Rhonda Jones 2 0 0 3 Augusta Opera presents “Carousel.” A Free Performance for Jaime We’ve mourned his death. Now it’s time to celebrate his life. On Sept. 16, the Imperial Theatre will host a one-hour memorial performance, orchestrated by Augusta Ballet, in honor of late entertainer and friend to the arts, Jaime Burcham. It is titled “The Man Behind the Masque: A Tribute to Jaime Burcham.” Augusta Ballet Director Zanne Colton explained what will happen that evening. “A real, live performance. It is, in truth, a performance. It is not a memorial service. There will not be written or read tributes. “It’s going to be a celebration of Jaime’s body of work. All the dance pieces will be his choreography.” In addition, Debi Ballas of Augusta Players will sing; Russell Joel Brown will sing; and Richard Justice of Augusta Players is still deciding what he will do; Augusta Symphony will send some representatives to add their music as well. Behind the Masque will perform outside, so that you can enjoy the fruits of Jaime’s dreams before sitting down to the show. We asked Colton about Jaime’s creative life. “Well it was in its infancy. He was such a young man. He’s very young. He was 28 years old, you know. He barely had time to explore and expand any of his ideas and he had 10 or 12, or 15 or 20 ideas before 8:30 in the morning. Jaime was always going. We don’t know what he would have done. I expect he … you don’t know what the possibilities are. That’s part of the loss, you know. You don’t know what would have come from him.” But now is the time to think about what the community has gained from its nurturing of such an artist. That’s what Sept. 16 is all about. “I don’t want it to be morose or sentimental or drawn-out,” Colton said. “What I want to do is for people to leave the the- Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre presents “The Odd Couple.” atre, you know, with a sense of hope that, aren’t we glad that Jaime came this way and crossed our paths. Hopefully, we will gather strength from this.” Everyone involved in the production, she said, have donated their time and talents. The show is free. Behind the Masque will be on the street at 6 p.m., and the stage show will begin at 7 p.m. For information, call the Augusta Ballet office at (706) 261-0555. Dinner Theatre, Anyone? The Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre will bring you Neil Simon’s “The Odd Couple,” starting Sept. 12. Metro Spirit spoke with both the theatre’s director, Steve Walpert, and the production’s Oscar Madison, Dr. Barry Wolk. He got his start in theatre in Chicago 25 years ago, before dropping out to attend medical school and build his practice, so he has seen the influence that such an archetypal piece as “The Odd Couple” has had on comedy for the big and small screens, as well as the stage. “Every sitcom that was ever written probably has some basis in ‘The Odd Couple’ or ‘The Honeymooners’ or ‘I Love Lucy’,” he said. Most people know “The Odd Couple” in some form or another, especially since Tony Randall and Jack Klugman once upon a time starred in a television version of it. Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre Director Steve Walpert also commented on the impact that Felix Unger and Oscar Madison have had on what has been written since. “These two fellows really have achieved archetype status, along with Laurel and Hardy, Abbot and Costello, plus Ralph and Norton in ‘The Honeymooners’,” Walpert said. “The difference here is that, in a theatrical production, the characters will change with each casting of the show. You won’t be seeing the movie or the TV cast. It will be a completely new experience. The jokes may be the same on paper, but they will also be different. “That’s because each actor imparts some of him- or herself to the playwright’s words and their character. It is one of the magical things about live theatre. You have an opportunity to create and experience something new with each production.” He chose this play largely for its mass appeal. No matter how many times audiences see “The Odd Couple,” it seems, they keep coming back for more. “The basic thrust of this show is its comic appeal, but it also says some interesting things about friendship and getting on with life when obstacles appear.” “Throughout trials, tribulations, and a myriad of what seem like irreconcilable differences, Felix and Oscar’s friendship prevails,” he added. So it’s a nice, feel-good piece. “People go back to it because people know that, for two hours, they can just sit back and laugh and not have too much to worry about,” Wolk said. If you would like to laugh your cares away with the Fort Gordon theatre cast, the dates are Sept. 12-13, 19-20 and 25-27. Dinner starts at 7 p.m.; the show starts at 8 p.m. Dinner theatre tix are $30 to the offpost community; $28 for seniors 65 and older, Army civilian employees and military E8 and above; $17 for military personnel E1-E7. Cabaret seating (show only) is $12. Theatre officials assure us that you will have no trouble passing through Fort Gordon’s gates as long as you have your photo I.D. on you. The show is open to the public. For reservations or information, call (706) 793-8552. Yes, There Will Be Flying Horses At least, according to Augusta Opera Managing Director Katherine DeLoach. She spoke recently with Metro Spirit – OK, she e-mailed recently with Metro Spirit – about Augusta Opera’s production of “Carousel.” She told us, first, how the Opera goes about choosing the stories they tell. “(Artistic Director) Mark Flint and I meet with the opera’s repertoire committee each year and plan for the future. We try to select a season that will appeal to everyone by offering a variety of musical styles. Generally we offer a musical or operetta, a light opera and a grand opera piece. Being an opera company, we select pieces that require professional singers.” Though the opera premiered in 1945, DeLoach said, it is every bit as relevant today, with its treatment of domestic abuse and unemployment. “It is the story of a young bride and her husband, who is a carousel barker. In order to provide for his family, Billy agrees to participate in a robbery. When he is cornered, he kills himself and goes to Purgatory. Billy is allowed to return to Earth and perform one good deed in order to redeem himself. The subject matter deals with wife abuse and is rather dark in places. The piece offers some very familiar songs, such as ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone,’ ‘June Is Bustin’ Out All Over,’ ‘Soliloquy (My Boy Bill),’ ‘This Was a Real Nice Clambake,’ ‘If I Loved You,’ etc. The ending is very optimistic for a brighter future.” If you have never seen “Carousel” before, look out for colorful costuming, a huge cast, and flying horses. Performances will be Sept. 11-13 at 8 p.m. and Sept. 14 at 3 p.m., at the Imperial Theatre with an Opera Chat one hour before each performance. For tix and info, call (706) 826-4710 or visit the Augusta Opera Web site at www.augustaopera.com. 35 Arts: Music For Pianist Marina Lomazov, Music Is Life By Rhonda Jones M E T R O S P I R I T TABERNACLE BAPTIST CHURCH 1223 Laney-Walker Boulevard Fall Revival & Great Preachers’ Series E ach year, Augusta Symphony brings a stunning array of guest musicians from all over the world. They begin their season this year with an invitation for you to come and see Ukrainian (by way of Oklahoma) pianist Marina Lomazov. She will knock down any preconceived notions you may have about the stuffy Classical pianist. She responded to our e-mail questions with a sense of humor and genial warmth and was a pleasure to communicate with. For one thing, she wrote, if you want to whoop and holler, that’s all right by her. That’s because she wants everyone – regardless of gender, age or race – to feel comfortable listening to classical music. “One has to let it in and really listen to it, and it will happen. You will be carried away. I also love spontaneous reactions from people, anything from whoops to clapping in between the movements, if the spirits move them so.” Asked how it feels to play, she said she has good days and bad days, and on the bad days, every note she plays irritates her. “But on the good days, I feel I can do and play anything. I feel like I have to just think music and it will play itself. It’s a magnificent feeling.” She said she began taking piano lessons around age 5, and that her mother made that happen in self-defense, because little Marina loved banging on the family piano. “I would sit at our old upright and literally hammer away for hours, while dutifully turning the pages of some old score,” she said. “The lessons were the way to stop torturing the household and to channel my energy a bit more efficiently.” Now she is the one helping young pianists channel their energy effectively, with private students, and a teaching position at Oklahoma State University. Primarily, she said, she wants to teach her students not to need her. “My goal is to make myself obsolete for my students,” she wrote. “In other words, teach them to be independent and confident musi- September 14-16 cians with their own voice and their own unique way of saying things.” If she hadn’t become a professional musician, Lomazov said, she would probably still work with the creative arts, perhaps running PR for a museum, or teaching, she speculated. And when she’s not playing? “Actually,” she wrote, “I don’t have time to do much else. When I am not practicing, I am teaching. Performing is an all-consuming way of life. One feels guilty doing anything else. I feel guilty doing this interview,” she wrote, adding an emoticon-smile. “Seriously, I love to travel and meet people. I also love to read. Mostly I get to read when I travel.” I asked her, also, if she managed to keep her musical life and the rest of her life separate somehow. In the beginning, she said, when she was growing up in Kiev, Ukraine, it was separated. She had a “normal” childhood, she said. “I went on vacations with my parents, and did not practice for months during summers. But I had a wonderful teacher, Mr. Fundiler, whom I adore. … I was with him for 14 years, and then I immigrated to the U.S.” On Saturday, Sept. 20, she will help Augusta Symphony begin its 2003-04 Masterworks Series at 8 p.m. at the Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre at Augusta State University. A free preview lecture will be presented at 7 p.m. by Dr. Rosalyn Floyd. Afterward, Lomazov will play Glinka’s “Russian & Ludmilla: Overture,” Rachmaninoff’s “Piano Concerto No. 2” and Sibelius’ “Symphony No. 2.” Tickets cost $15, $30 and $40 for adults. Student tix are available at half price on concert evenings. For information, call Augusta Symphony at (706) 826-4705 or visit the Symphony’s Web site at www.augustasymphony.org. Augusta Symphony’s office is located at Sacred Heart Cultural Center on the corner of 13th and Greene Street, and is open Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tickets may be purchased at the door on concert evenings beginning at 7 p.m. Sunday 8-11am Monday & Tuesday 7pm GUEST PREACHERS Rev. Dr. Kevin Cosby Pastor, St. Stephen Baptist Church, Louisville, Kentucky Dr. Cosby earned a Bachelor of Arts in History from Eastern Kentucky University, Richmond, KY; Master of Divinity from Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, Louisville, KY; and his Doctor of Ministry from United Theological Seminary; Dayton, OH. In addition to his pastoral attribution, he is an accomplished author, lecturer, and educator. He serves as Professor Adjunct of Christian Ministries at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY. Dr. Cosby is scheduled to speak September 14-15th. Rev. Martha Simmons Editor, the African American Pulpit Journal This editor and author earned a Master of Divinity from Emory University, Atlanta, GA, and Doctor of Laws from New College of California, School of Law, San Francisco, CA. She is the co-editor of 9.11.01: African American Leaders Respond to an American Tragedy, the editor of Preaching on the Brink, and co-author of A Study Guide to Accompany Celebration and Experience in Preaching. She resides in Boston, Massachusetts, and attends Boston University, where she is pursuing the Doctor of Theology. Rev. Simmons is scheduled to speak September 16th. S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 36 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 Arts: Festival Special Arts in the Heart Edition Next Week By Rhonda Jones S eptember is a special month here at the Spirit. It’s a time of new beginnings when we look forward to fall, which kicks off a pretty amazing array of events in Augusta. Last week, we introduced to you the performing arts groups’ offerings for this season, so that you could begin your patronage for the year that very weekend. Next week we will have yet another special issue for you – the Arts in the Heart Guide for 2003. Inside you will find a map to help you navigate your way around all the performances, vendors and food booths. There’s so much stuff going on, you will need it. There may still be some of you out there who have never been to Arts in the Heart before. Well, you have no idea what you’re missing, and I hardly know how to describe it all. First of all, it’s a family-friendly event. You will see crafters of all types. I’ve seen candles, windchimes, whirlygig-thingies for your garden, other whirlygig-thingies to hang on your porch. I’ve seen paintings, jewelry, hats. You name it. The best thing about the market at Arts in the Heart, though, is probably just the array of things that you’d never dream of going to look for. It is a great place to search for original gifts and to find just the right item for your own home that you had no idea you needed. So what else will you find in the Spirit next week? Well, each year, we team up with the Greater Augusta Arts Council to put together this fantabulous guide to give you the scoop on just what’s happening at this happening event. Here is a little preview of what you will be seeing next week. On the Road With The Bluebird Café There will be a Thursday night concert to get things started. That’s right, Thursday. The hit country songsters Paul Jefferson, Wood Newton and Karen Staley will be on hand for your listening pleasure. Paul Jefferson will perform Aaron Tippin’s “That’s as Close as I’ll Get To Loving You” and his own creation, “Check Please.” Wood Newton will perform Razzy Bailey’s “Midnight Hauler,” the Oak Ridge Boys’ “Bobbie Sue,” Steve Wariner’s “What I Didn’t Do,” Restless Heart’s “I Want Everybody To Cry” and David Ball’s “Riding With Private Malone.” Karen Staley will perform Faith Hill’s “Take Me as I Am” and “Let’s Go to Vegas,” Tracy Byrd’s “Keeper of the Stars,” Holly Dunn and Michael Martin Murphy’s “Face in the Crowd,” Terri Clark’s “Everytime I Cry” and Trick Pony’s “On a Night Like This,” which is either a remake of a Bob Dylan song of the same name or coincidentally titled. The Thursday night concert is part of The Bluebird Café’s “GMC on the Road With The Bluebird Café” songwriters series. If The Bluebird Café sounds familiar to you, that’s probably because of the Turner South television show, “Live From The Bluebird Café,” which has run for four years. The café itself has been around for 21 years, and even has a book – “The Bluebird Café Scrapbook,” which was published by Harper Collins. Sensational! Japanese Steak, Seafood & Sushi According to published material, the Café has been a jumping-off point of many country stars, including Garth Brooks, Kathy Mattea, Trisha Yearwood and Faith Hill. Other Stuff Keep your eyes open for that and a whole lot more. You’ll learn about the fabulous children’s area. You’ll read about all the tasty treats that you can try. (Here’s a hint: Do not eat a big meal before you go to Arts in the Heart. There will probably be every conceivable kind of ‘kebob – and hopefully the Irish club will have a whiskey cake, among other things. Those things are good enough to turn your hair red. If you do eat a big meal before you go, you will hurt yourself. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.) And bring someone to carry the goodies you’re going to buy, preferably a teenager with a big backpack. Did we mention the fact that the Global Village is going to be in the Augusta Common this year, by the way? Well it is. In Augusta O pera Mark D. Flint General & Artistic Director fact, everything’s going to be there. So no more splashing through the mud and tripping over roots. If you have questions about these or any other Arts in the Heart event, the Greater Augusta Arts Council is the place to go and Renee Williamson is the chick to talk to. You can reach her at the Arts in the Heart Hotline, which is 394-2233. The festival happens Sept. 18-21, beginning Thursday at 7 p.m. and continuing through Friday from 5-9 p.m., Saturday from 10 a.m.-7 p.m., and Sunday from 12-6 p.m. Badges are $4 in advance, $5 at the gate. You may purchase advance badges at Wachovia, Suncom, SRP Federal Credit Union and of course online at www.augustaarts.com. Children 10 and under get in free. Badges are good for the entire weekend. And please leave your pets and coolers at home (although we don’t recommend leaving your pet in your cooler). Sept. 11, 12, 13 at 8pm Sept. 14 at 3pm At the Imperial Theatre 2003-2004 SEASON DIE FLEDERMAUS MATSU SIGE Jan. 29, 31 and Feb. 1, 2004 Tickets $15 - $45 RIGOLETTO Student & Senior Discounts available May 13, 15 and 16, 2004 AUGUSTA OPERA AT ST. PAUL'S Edward Bradberry Holiday Concert in the Shoppes at West Towne 3836 Washington Road • 210-4700 • Mon-Sat • 5-10pm Dec. 7, 2003 atSt. Paul’s Church To order your tickets or for more information call 706.826.4710 ext. 22 WWW.AUGUSTAOPERA.COM Cinema American Wedding (R) — Jim (Jason Biggs) is going to marry his nerdy, peppy, fresh-faced, relentlessly horny girlfriend Michelle (Alyson Hannigan). This, of course, requires a bachelor par ty (strippers), a meeting of the in-laws and shopping for the wedding dress (a dance-off at a gay bar), not to mention the catastrophe-bound event itself. "American Wedding" becomes something of a showcase for Seann William Scott, who gets to strut his stuff right up to, and then well over, the top. Another saving grace is the presence of Eugene Levy, once again por traying Jim's dad, and Fred Willard, as the father of the bride. All of which might sound like a recommendation, which this most cer tainly is not. But essentially, the thing is harmless. Cast: Jason Biggs, Seann William Scott, Alyson Hannigan, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Eugene Levy, Fred Willard. Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (Salm) ★1/2 Bad Boys II (R) — Vulgar, brazen, crass, violent, stupid, juvenile, loud, long and pointless — "Bad Boys II" is all that, plus a thin slice of enter taining. The scene is Miami. Marcus (Mar tin Lawrence) and par tner Mike (Will Smith) are back as narcs pledged to double duty: to collar nasty crooks, and to tickle the audience with cute bonding humor. They kick off this par ty by blowing a major drug bust while messing up a Ku Klux Klan rally at the drop site for smuggled dope. Producer Jerry Bruckheimer gives us not story, but the idea of story as gooey plot pizza; not violence, but the idea of violence as car toonish pulp; not style, but the idea of style as shiny pictures for gaping apes; not comedy, but the idea of comedy as compulsive imbecility; not fun, but the idea of fun as a migraine of lavishly cheap jolts. Cast: Will Smith, Mar tin Lawrence, Gabrielle Union, Joe Pantoliano, Jordi Molla. Running time: 2 hrs., 30 mins. (Elliot t) ★ Bend It Like Beckham (PG-13) — English teen Jess Bahmra adores football star David Beckham. She’d also love to be able to play the spor t, but her strictly traditional parents forbid her from doing so in the hopes that she will instead marry in an Indian wedding ceremony. After Jess meets new pal Jules, who plays on an all-female football team, she joins the squad while keeping her new ex tracurricular activity a secret from her parents. Fur ther complicating mat ters, both girls find themselves falling for handsome coach Joe. Cast: Parminder Nagra, Keira Knightley, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Anupam Kher, Archie Panjabi, Shaznay Lewis. Running time: 1 hr., 52 mins. Bruce Almighty (PG-13) — Jim Carrey is Bruce, the goofy features reporter on a TV station in Buffalo. He aspires to become a "serious" anchor, but after blowing his cool on the air, loses his job and has a rift with his sweet, please-marryme girlfriend (Jennifer Aniston). There cometh unto Buffalo the Almighty (Morgan Freeman). The Lord loans his powers to Bruce. Time for some payback, some wild stunts, some sexual dazzling of Aniston, some nudges of satire. Like Mel Brooks as Moses in "History of the World, Part I," Carrey has climbed the comical Mount Sinai and, like Brooks, he has dropped a tablet on the way down. One of the pieces is "Bruce Almighty." Cast: Jim Carrey, Morgan Freeman, Jennifer Aniston, Philip Baker Hall, Catherine Bell. Running time: 1 hr., 45 mins. (Elliott) ★★ Cabin Fever (R) — Five friends embark on a post-college road trip to a remote cabin in the mountains. When one of them comes down with a gruesome, flesh-eating sickness, the others lock her in a shed to avoid infection. The disease pits friend against friend as they all realize any one of them could be a carrier. Cast: Rider Strong, Jordan Ladd, Joey Kern, James DeBello, Cerine Vincent. Running time: 1 hr., 34 mins. Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle (PG-13) — is a dodo begging for ex tinction. Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore and Lucy Liu reprise their 2000 updates on the old TV espionage cuties, again combining macho girl brass and "shake your booty" allure. The plot involves impor tant high-tech rings. The buff, jived angels race dir t bikes. There is a naughty nuns bit, set to music from "The Sound of Music," and a "Dir ty Dancing" jam of pumpin' rumps. Stupefying is a violent showdown at L.A.'s Griffith Observatory. This dizzy spree of selfadoring ideas ends with outtakes of the cast laughing dementedly, wild with surplus merriment. The term "go, girl" grinds to a halt. Cast: Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu, Demi Moore, Bernie Mac, Crispin Glover, Luke Wilson, John Cleese. Running time: 1 hr., 42 mins. (Elliot t) 0 Daddy Day Care (PG) — Looking very much like the engorged warm-up for a future TV sitcom, "Daddy Day Care" stars Eddie Murphy and Jeff Garlin as cereal company promo men who lose their jobs, then star t a home day-care facility. There is an absurdly snooty villain (Anjelica Huston), owner of a posh day-care school. The kids are central casting darlings. The movie, which has a stern warning against sugar-based cereals, is sugared cereal. Cast: Eddie Murphy, Anjelica Huston, Jeff Garlin, Steve Zahn, Regina King. Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star (PG-13) — David Spade stars as Dickie Rober ts, adored as a child sit- 20th Century Fox “The Order” RATINGS ★★★★ — Excellent. M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 Columbia Pictures Movie Listings 37 “Once Upon a Time in Mexico” 2 0 0 3 com star in the 1970s, but now slumming it as a 35-year-old parking valet. Desperate to get his showbiz career back, Rober ts is convinced that if he can get an audition with director Rob Reiner, everything will fall into place. When he does get an audition, Reiner shocks Rober ts by telling him that because of his unusual childhood, Rober ts is not normal enough for the par t. So, what does Rober ts do? He hires a family to give him the childhood he missed out on the first time around. Cast: David Spade, Mary McCormack, Jon Lovitz, Craig Bierke, Alyssa Milano. The Fighting Temptations (PG-13) — Darrin Hill is a newly laid-off New York adver tising executive with a slew of bill collectors breathing down his neck. When he discovers his late Aunt Sally has left him an inheritance of $150,000, Hill figures his troubles are over. But as always, there’s a catch: In order to get the money, Aunt Sally has requested Hill create a choir, enter it in the annual Gospel Explosion competition and bring home a victory for her small Southern town. It seems like a drag until Hill meets a beautiful jazz singer who shows him there’s more to life than money. Cast: Cuba Gooding, Beyonce Knowles, Mike Epps. Finding Nemo (G) — A father clown fish (Alber t Brooks) tracks young son Nemo through the Pacific to Sydney, Australia, after the small fry is caught and sold for a fish tank. Ellen DeGeneres voices adorable Dory, who is very pret ty and helpful as Marlin's search mate. The humans are alien invaders, big and nearly thoughtless. If "Finding Nemo" is just another of our plex distractions, then it's a giddy bummer, but as a whimsical warning with bite it arrives just in time. Helping to make the seas a lasting realm for real Nemos could be the good, giving backwash of "Finding Nemo." Cast: Alber t Brooks, Ellen DeGeneres, Alexander Gould, Willem Dafoe, Austin Pendleton, Vicki Lewis, Geoffrey Rush, Barry Humphries. Running time: 1 hr., 41 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★★ Freaky Friday (PG) — It’s the updated version of the ‘70s film, starring Jamie Lee Cur tis as a frazzled mom and Lindsay Lohan as her rebellious teen-age daughter. The two are constantly arguing and both wish they could be someone else. When their wish comes true and the two end up switching bodies, they have to find a way back to their normal selves – before Mom walks down the aisle again. Cast: Jamie Lee Cur tis, Lindsay Lohan, Mark Harmon, Christina Vidal. Freddy vs. Jason (R) — The two masters of horror find themselves locked in a gory battle. An unfortunate group of teens finds that they’re trapped in the middle of the slasher showdown. Cast: Robert Englund, Ken Kirzinger, Kelly Rowland, Jason Bateman, Jason Ritter. Grind (PG-13) — Skateboarding flick about four skaters who take one last road trip before college to follow the summer tour of one of the country’s biggest skateboarding stars. Their goal is to get noticed and asked to be par t of the troupe, but the tour manager makes things as difficult as possible for the boys. Cast: Colin McKay, Rober t Baker, Adam Brody, Shonda Farr, Jason London. The Hulk (PG-13) — It's excessive and too long, but with exciting macho blows, it pounds away at machismo. The nerdy, but more than sturdy scientist Bruce Banner (Eric Bana) becomes a plaintive monster, morphed by digital effects into a furious green giant. The Hulk doesn't merely leap tall buildings in a single bound. He springs over Wile E. Coyote canyons and falls from the upper atmosphere into San Francisco Bay and turns huge U.S. tanks into twisted toys. "The Hulk" presses on like a Wagner opera of "Fight Club." You can end up pulverized and satisfied, whipped and wowed. Cast: Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliot t, Nick Nolte, Josh Lucas, Paul Kersey. Running time: 2 hrs., 15 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★ The Italian Job (PG-13) — If you must remake "The Italian Job," the way to go is demonstrated by F. Gary Gray's highly professional makeover. The 1969 heist was for $4 million in gold in Turin, the new one is for $35 million in gold in Venice. In place of Michael Caine as the top heister, there is ★★★— Worthy. ★★ — Mixed. ★ — Poor. Mark Wahlberg. Donald Sutherland appears with his patented aura of suave, cheeky sincerity, yet does not linger. So the crew is planning revenge against icy sociopath and ex-par tner Steve (Ed Nor ton). Steve has fled to Los Angeles with the loot. "The Italian Job" is the real kickoff of summer and also the best remake since "The Thomas Crown Affair" got a delicious new lease on life. Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Charlize Theron, Donald Sutherland, Ed Nor ton, Seth Green, Jason Statham, Mos Def. Running time: 1 hr., 51 mins. (Elliott) ★★★1/2 Jeepers Creepers 2 (R) — In the sequel to 2001’s “Jeepers Creepers,” a busload of high school basketball players, cheerleaders and coaches headed home from the state championships run into a terrifying, flesh-eating creature on a desolate back road. Cast: Jonathan Breck, Ray Wise, Nicki Lynn Aycox, Billy Aaron Brown, Lena Caldwell. Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde (PG13) — Reese Witherspoon is so peachy and pink and perky as Elle Woods, girl lawyer crusading for animal rights in D.C., that you can just about forgive the brazen retouching of elements from "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington," including a clip from the Capra film. Elle even visits, like Jimmy Stewar t before, the Lincoln Memorial. The rather lame "political" plot and sof t gags breeze by thanks to her, Sally Field, Bob Newhar t and Luke Wilson. 1 hr., 35 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (PG13) — Sean Connery's Allan Quatermain is a former adventurer suffering from disillusionment and a broken hear t. A mysterious Brit who calls himself "M" finds the physically fit Quatermain in Africa with predictions of impending doom and a request by Queen Victoria to help save the world. An opium-wracked Quatermain is tracked down by the Dracula-inspired character Mina Harker (Peta Wilson), who is introduced a lit tle later in the film, as are Captain Nemo, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and the Invisible Man. One might forgive some of the clunky editing and pasted-together plotlines. Less forgivable is the contrived, bringon-the-sequel ending. Unforgivable and completely baffling is the dimming of Connery's star-power. Cast: Sean Connery, Naseeruddin Shah, Peta Wilson, Stuar t Townsend and Shane West. Running time: 1 hr., 41 mins. (Wood) ★★ Magdalene Sisters (R) — The characters in “Magdalene Sisters” are based on those affected by true events that happened in Ireland between the 1960s and 1996. An estimated 30,000 young women, seen as having commit ted sexual sins, were rounded up and sent away from their families to work in profit-making laundries run by the Sisters of the Magdalene Order. Enduring psychological abuse, poor living conditions and working to exhaustion, the central characters, who include young mothers, pregnant teenagers and rape victims, tell the story of how they survived. Cast: Geraldine McEwan, Anne-Marie Duff, Dorothy Duffy, Eileen Walsh. Running time: 1 hr., 59 mins. Matchstick Men (PG-13) — Roy and Frank are a couple of con ar tists, drif ting through life without much responsibility. That all changes when Roy is tracked down by Angela, the the 14-year-old daughter he was only vaguely aware existed. As Roy learns to be a parent, Angela picks up the gif t of scam. Cast: Nicolas Cage, Sam Rockwell, Alison Lohman, Bruce McGill. The Matrix: Reloaded (R) — Keanu Reeves is back as Neo, empowered hero. Also, savior of the human race that was inside the cybernetic Matrix, enslaved as "cat tle," but has now fled to a life in an underground city. A blur of sci-fi and head comix clichés and "1984" gone 2003, the movie is overwhelmingly designed, but underwhelmingly imagined. There is the Matrix and the Oracle and the Keymaker and the Architect. Humor is kept minimal, as that could pop the gas balloon. The packaging is cosmic, success inevitable. Success feeds success. "The Matrix Revolutions" is set for Nov. 7. Time for Harry Pot ter and Frodo Baggins to join 0— Not worthy. continued on page 38 38 continued from page 37 M E T R O S P I R I T In the Children’s Area at Arts in the Heart of Augusta September 19-21, 2003 S E P T No Pets or Coolers! 1 1 2 0 0 3 Octoberfest 2003 Evenings October 12th thru October 16th Live Entertainment - Duck Dance - Boots of Beer - Shots of Schnapps Special Fest Menu - Dancing in the Aisles - Jaegerettes Group reservations accepted beginning September 2 at 2pm. Deposit required. from Bobby Jones Expressway, Exit 5B - 798-6211 or 798-0065 www.VillaEuropa.com Join us for the 10th Annual forces and get mad. Cast: Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving, Jada Pinket t Smith. Running time: 2 hrs., 18 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ The Medallion (PG-13) — In "The Medallion," Jackie Chan stars as Inspector Eddie Yang, who's paired with Interpol to stop a smuggler known as Snakehead (Julian Sands) from get ting a medallion that promises superpowers and immor tality. Yang and Snakehead spend most of the film playing cat and mouse and then square off to see who's tougher. Claire Forlani plays Chan's love interest, while Lee Evans adds much needed comic relief. Running time: 1 hr., 30 mins. (McCormick) ★ My Boss’s Daughter (PG-13) — When a young man’s tough boss asks him to housesit, it seems to be the per fect oppor tunity for the young man to hook up with the boss’s beautiful daughter, on whom he’s had a longtime crush. But he can’t seem to get her alone, as a strange cast of characters revolve in and out of the house on various personal missions. Cast: Ashton Kutcher, Tara Reid, Carmen Electra, Andy Richter, Molly Shannon. No Good Deed (R) — Jack, a cop played by Samuel L. Jackson, is in the midst of pursuing a runaway teenager when he stumbles across a gang of crooks trying to pull off a heist. Taken hostage by the gang and lef t in the care of Erin, the gang-leader’s girlfriend, he forms an unlikely bond with his captor. Cast: Samuel L. Jackson, Milla Jovovich, Stellan Skarsgard, Doug Hutchison, Grace Zabriskie. Running time: 1 hr., 37 mins. Once Upon a Time in Mexico (R) — Guitar-slinging hero El Mariachi lives in voluntary isolation. A corrupt CIA agent comes along and forces him out of hiding to sabotage a plot by a car tel kingpin to assassinate the president of Mexico. Cast: Johnny Depp, Antonio Banderas, Willem Dafoe, Salma Hayek, Mickey Rourke, Enrique Iglesias, Cheech Marin, Eva Mendes. Open Range (R) — Once you are saddled for Kevin Costner's "Open Range," you have to keep riding. It is a wonder ful Western, maybe a great one. At the core of the story is the friendship of small-scale cat tleman Boss (Rober t Duvall) and sidekick Charley (Costner). The action builds inevitably, then bites hard. "Open Range" has the three crucial things that a good Western needs: actors firmly embedded in clear characters with strong motives; the tension of approach to a fated end; the topping gun-down, here a complex death ballet of jumps and jit ters and stunning bursts of firepower (the best, really, since "The Wild Bunch"). Running time: 2 hrs., 15 mins. (Eilliot) ★★★★ The Order (R) — A foxy father and renegade priest, played by Heath Ledger, takes it upon himself to investigate a string of murders. His investigation leads him to the Sin Eater, one of an order of clerics who agree to absolve the living of their sins outside the parameters of the church. Longing to have his own sins absolved, the Sin Eater’s presence threatens Ledger’s soul, as well as that of the woman he loves. Cast: Heath Ledger, Shannyn Sossamon, Mark Addy, Benno Furmann, Peter Weller. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (PG-13) — The movie will be a shocker for Friday, September 12 Augusta Commons (Reynolds and 8th Streets) Gates open at 5 p.m. Show begins at 7 p.m. Admission: Adults $5 – Children 12 and under FREE benefiting Special thanks to our sponsors: Andy Jones Mazda Isuzu Five Star Moving Gerald Jones Honda Gerald Jones Volvo Subaru Gerald Jones VW Audi Ivan Allen Signs by Tomorrow Augusta Chronicle Zaxby’s T-Bonz Yellow Transportation Wife Saver Maxim Crane Works Champion Beverage The Partridge Inn Bridgestone/Firestone South Carolina anyone expecting watery gruel ex tracted from a Disneylandride base. This "Pirates of the Caribbean" is an original, with clever plot ting, some rapierlike dialogue and a scurvy crew of first-rate second bananas. When the Black Pearl, the invincible pirate ship commanded by the dread Capt. Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) storms Por t Royal and kidnaps Elizabeth (Keira Knightly), the governor's beautiful daughter, what can her secret admirer, the lowly blacksmith Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), do but go after her? He's forced to team up with the immensely unreliable Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). The movie lies becalmed when Depp/Sparrow is absent; when he's on screen, it's a rousing good time. Since he's on screen a good par t of the time, that makes "Pirates of the Caribbean" a rousing good movie. Arrrrr! Cast: Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightly, Jonathan Pryce. Running time: 2 hrs., 14 mins. (Salm) ★★★ Rugrats Go Wild (PG) — It's a synergistic cock tail, bringing together car toon figures from two big Nickelodeon TV shows, "Rugrats" and "The Wild Thornberrys," for a string of gags without a plot. Unless, as plot, you call being stranded on a deser t island that isn't really deser ted an "adventure." This TV promo gizmo and baby sit ter is an awfully small movie, though a Nickelodeon release boasts of $100 million in tie-ins and lists nine major companies. Voice cast: Tim Curry, Michael Bell, Lacey Chaber t, LL Cool J, Bruce Willis. Running time: 1 hr., 24 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Seabiscuit (PG-13) — Charles Howard, acted by Jeff Bridges, is a brawny, self-made man whose success as an auto biz wiz led to personal tragedy, then a healing fancy for horses. Mostly, for Seabiscuit. Two other men also are saviors of Seabiscuit, in turn saved by him. Chris Cooper is trainer Tom Smith, a folksy genius of horse sense; and the scrappy jockey, Johnny "Red" Pollard, a Depression castaway stuck with dud horses and even bare-knuckle boxing, is acted by scrawny but muscular Tobey Maguire. The film piles on glossy contex t, but it finds its legs once the beloved horse turns into a come-from-behind challenger, egged on by the media. As a scrappy fable, this corn pops well, emotionally. Cast: Jeff Bridges, Tobey Maguire, Chris Cooper, William H. Macy, Elizabeth Banks. Running time: 2 hrs., 10 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★ Secondhand Lions (PG) — A 14-year-old boy is forced into spending the summer with a pair of grumpy grand-uncles. With the uncles’ tales of their own childhood adventures, the boy begins to gradually warm up to them. Cast: Michael Caine, Rober t Duvall, Haley Joel Osment, Kyra Sedgwick, Nicky Kat t. Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas (PG) — “Sinbad” is an animated adventure, following Sinbad the Sailor as he searches to clear his name for a crime committed by Eris, the goddess of Chaos, who has framed him. He’s also out to save pal Proteus the Shapeshif ter. In an effor t to accomplish his goals, Sinbad sets out into Eris’ realm, meeting and challenging various monsters and serpents along the way. Cast: Brad Pit t, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Joseph Fiennes, Michelle Pfeiffer. Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (PG) — Now the boyish Juni Cor tez (Daryl Sabara) is a private investigator, the rest of his family away spying, and Juni is pulled into the evil video game empire of the Toymaker (Sylvester Stallone). He must rise through levels, liberate sister Carmen (Alexa Vega) and prove himself as the Guy. Mostly he must sur f through gaudy storms of computerized effects, of ten in 3-D (yes, you wear glasses). There are robots and blue-tongued monsters and frantic chases. For a while, leathery grandpa Ricardo Montalban is liberated by animation from a wheelchair to clank around in a huge metal suit. Montalban is always a kick, but the movie is about as Hispanic as a pinata made in Taiwan. Cast: Daryl Sabara, Alexa Vega, Sylvester Stallone, Ricardo Montalban, Salma Hayek. Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2 S.W.A.T. (PG-13) — Samuel L. Jackson is Lt. Dan Harrelson, called Hondo, who is can-do to a fanatical degree. He's the only actor of sizable presence. Time for plot! Bring on one-dude fashion layout Olivier Mar tinez as Alex, a French psycho who has killed 24 and bags No. 25 by slit ting the throat of his uncle with a knife "given me by my father." He is called "The Frog." Arrested, the swinish Alex offers $100 million to anyone who can free him. Within hours, L.A. is crawling with crazies armed with bazookas and other big-time weapons, ready to blow Alex free, demolish subways, escor t him through sewers (yes, one has computerized bats) and land a jet plane on a street bridge. Of course, only Hondo's squad can block this evil and perhaps Francophile scheme. Cast: Samuel L. Jackson, Colin Farrell, Michelle Rodriguez, LL Cool J, Olivier Mar tinez, Josh Charles, Larry Poindex ter. Running time: 1 hr., 57 mins. (Elliot t) ★ 28 Days Later (R) — opens with berserk lab chimps being freed by perhaps crazier animal rights activists. The chimps infect the British Isles, so that London is soon deser ted except for corpses, some prowling zombies and a very few healthy survivors. Twenty-eight days after the chimps escape, cycle messenger Jim (Cillian Murphy) stumbles into the scared, but tough Selena (Naomi Harris). They light out for the territory. The infected zombies, whose blood can ruin you with one well-placed drop, are ready to pounce from shadows. Inevitably the plot heads for genre midnight, with strobed lightning and ravenous gobblers and a rock score amped for madness. The posh is pulped. Cast: Cillian Murphy, Naomie Harris, Noan Huntley, Brendan Gleeson, Christopher Eccleston. Running time: 1 hr., 48 mins. (Elliot t) ★★1/2 2 Fast 2 Furious (PG-13) — The speed par ty "2 Fast 2 Furious" is 2 silly 2 believe and 2 clichéd 2 be very enter taining. 2 bad. It stars Paul Walker, back as Brian from the 2001 summer hit "The Fast and the Furious," in which he was an undercover cop and rival, then pal, of mechanic and street racer Dom (Vin Diesel). Walker gets to appear slight nex t to the big rack of torso Tyrese, cast as racer and excon Roman Pearce. The set ting is now Miami. The script is a chop-shop quickie with a greasy aroma of "Miami Vice." The car scenes are so heavily edited and accessorized with tech-freak dazzle that even the blasting finish collapses into a string of stunts. This film is just a motorized budget. Cast: Paul Walker, Tyrese, Cole Hauser, Eva Mendes, James Remar. Running time: 1 hr., 44 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2 Under the Tuscan Sun (PG-13) — Frances Mayes is a 35-year-old San Francisco writer suffering the effects of a divorce, writer’s block and depression. The oppor tunity to buy and fix up a villa in Tuscany presents her with a new outlook on life. Cast: Diane Lane, Sandrah Oh, Lindsay Duncan. Uptown Girls (PG-13) — It took four writers to scribble "Uptown Girls," and they must have split their crayon into four pieces. Brit tany Murphy is Molly, who kicked out of her posh Manhat tan apar tment and, though hardly moving downscale, becomes a rich kid's nanny. The kid is Ray, the packaged mini-princess Dakota Fanning, who seems from a Stepford planet. She may be the most insufferable film brat since Kirby Furlong in "Mame." Nanny and brat ty bond with the help of a pink pig, intrusive pop songs and a mutual zeal for inanity. It is just mindless summer fluff. So forget taste. 1 hr,. 38 mins. (Elliot t) 0 Wrong Turn (R) — Bad luck befalls Chris (Desmond Harrington) when he sets out on a three-hour tour to Raleigh for a job interview. He’s barely star ted down the freeway when an accident up ahead halts traffic. Taking a windy and isolated dir t road to get around the jam, Chris doesn’t see the SUV full of teens that is stopped in the middle of the road, tires mysteriously blown out. Investigating the accident scene, the group finds a strand of barbed wire stretched across the road — could it be a trap? Cast: Eliza Dushku, Desmond Harrington, Jeremy Sisto, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Lindy Booth. Running time: 1 hr., 50 mins. —Capsules compiled from movie reviews written by David Elliott, film critic for The San Diego Union-Tribune and other staff writers. 39 M E T R O What’s College Football Without Tailgating? ENTER TO WIN A TAILGATE PARTY PACK FOR TEN! Presented by: & Each week Metro Spirit will select one winner from all entries: • Tailgate Package for 10 from Wife Saver • 10 Koozies from Metro Spirit REGISTER TO WIN: Name________________________________________________ Address_____________________________________________ Daytime Phone Number_____________________________ MAIL, FAX, OR EMAIL YOUR ENTRY TO: P.O. 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See your participating Bridgestone retailer for complete details. ®Casio is a registered trademark of Casio Computer Co. Ltd. Casio is not affiliated with Bridgestone. Executive No Carryouts 99 $ 40,000 MILE WARRANTY 75 & 80 Series only *Every Tire Includes 30 Day Ride Guarantee | Free Mounting | Free Lifetime Rotation *With tire purchase. Balancing and stems extra. SEMPERIT 39 $ TIRES PLUS Touring LP 5099 CONTINENTAL Sportiva SUV 4000H 57 99 $ 99 $ P185/60R14 P215/75R15 As Low As As Low As As Low As 80,000 MILE WARRANTY 50,000 MILE WARRANTY 40,000 MILE WARRANTY P175/70R13 National Accounts Welcome! WE DO IT ALL! Complete Automotive Service! Alignments • Brakes • Shocks • Struts • Tune-ups • Batteries • Belts • Alternators Hoses • Water Pumps Radiators Starters • CV Joints • New Car Maintenance COMPLETE RADIATOR SYSTEM FLUSH 54 $ • • • • 3999 $ 99 Inspect system and pressure test for leaks Flush and chemically clean system Refill with correct amount of coolant Add sealant/lubricant Most vehicles • Shop supply fees in the amount of up to 6% will be added to all services • Expires 10-4-03 TUNE-UP Brake 99 Standard Service Most 4 cyl. electronic ignition vehicles• 6 and 8 cyl. slightly higher • Transverse V-6 engine and A/C interference extra • Shop supply fees in the amount of up to 6% will be added to all services • Expires 10-4-03 Price is per axle for most vehicles with front disc and rear drum brakes • 4-wheel disc systems slightly higher • Grease seals, wheel bearing repack extra, if needed • Shop supply fees in the amount of up to 6% will be added to all services • Expires 10-4-03 Install new oil filter • Includes refill of up to 5 qts. Kendall 10W-30 motor oil • Lubricate chassis (if applicable). 16 79 $ • Install brake pads or shoes • Resurface drums or rotors • Adjust drum brakes (on serviced axle) • Road test vehicle OIL CHANGE AND FILTER ® 99 BRAKES • Visually inspect ignition wire, distributor cap/rotor, filters and more • Install new Bosch spark plugs • Set timing and idle (if applicable) • Road test vehicle YOUR CAR’S MOST FREQUENTLY NEEDED SERVICE! $ Standard Tune-Up FREE Thermos Upgrade your economy oil change to any of our 3 Kendal GT-1 oil blends and receive a 17 ounce Thermos by mail. See store for details. Offer valid Sept. 1 - Oct. 31, 2003. Plus environmental disposal fee • Shop supply fees in the amount of up to 6% will be added to all services • Expires 10-4-03 Mon - Fri 7-7 - Saturday 7-5 - Sunday 9-4 - No Dealers, please ALIGNMENT 39 $ Wheel 99 Standard Alignment R idley Scott’s new light drama about a career con man who gets an unexpected and unwelcome chance to be a father is a lot like its central grifter: endearing and interesting if not unforgettable. Held up by three strong performances, “Matchstick Men” is chiefly supported by Nicolas Cage’s impressive turn as Roy, an obsessive-compulsive con man who lives a painfully ordered existence in Los Angeles. Burdened with physical tics (he occasionally chokes on his words and uncontrollably blinks his eyes), agoraphobia and the need to keep everything around him spotless, Roy follows a strict routine to get through his day. He smokes cigarettes incessantly, opens and closes doors three times before coming or going and can’t allow anyone to step on his carpet with their shoes on. Pulling petty scams with his young partner and protégé, Frank (Sam Rockwell), Roy adds to the endless stash of money he keeps in both a ceramic bulldog in his home and a safe deposit box at the bank. Working out of a dingy office, Frank and Sam call elderly people and explain how they’ve won a prize and need to send in a nominal amount to claim said prize. The duo then shows up at their customer’s door, posing as fraud investigators, and announce the con, saying the person now has to give them their bank account info so they can hopefully stop the criminals at work. A gruff, crude opposite to Roy’s manic, mannered presence, Frank helps his elder partner cope with his paranoia and phobias. And when Roy accidentally drops his supply of pills down the drain, his young cohort sends him to see a shrink to get a new stash. Uneasy about discussing his problems with a doctor, Roy slowly starts to open up and is encouraged to make contact with his ex-wife, who left him years ago when she was pregnant. The result: Roy gets to meet his daughter, 14-year-old Angela (Alison Lohman). Throwing off his routine and, at the same time, forcing him to become an oddly protective father, Angela’s presence quickly gives meaning to Roy’s empty life. Of course when the fun goes from enjoying a late night pizza to sharing the secrets of the grift, things become more complicated and Roy unwittingly involves Angela in the massive heist he’s agreed to work with Frank. While Sam Rockwell’s wily, obnoxiously lovable Frank is a perfect compliment to Cage’s tightly wound Roy, the real delight is Lohman. As the exuberant Angela, who can get her dad to do her bidding with an innocent flash of her dimpled smile, the young actress is perfect as the innocent kid who’s got an uncanny skill for her dad’s line of work. Finally, like any decent film about con artists, “Matchstick Men” plays its audience for the fool. And while the sting is well-orchestrated and enjoyable, the effect is fleeting. Arts in the Heart of Augusta Opening Ceremonies Ask About Our Lifetime Alignment! • Inspect your vehicle’s steering/suspension • Align vehicle to mfr.’s specifications • Road test vehicle Most vehicles • Parts and shims extra, if required • Shop supply fees in the amount of up to 6% will be added to all services • Expires 10-4-03 We Honor Most National Accounts AUGUSTA CLEARANCE CENTER 2705 Peach Orchard Rd. (Closed Sun)..706-798-8882 AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 274 Rob’t C. Daniels Pkwy ...........................706-667-8008 CENTRAL AUGUSTA 617 15th Street (Closed Sun)...........................706-724-5800 EVANS CROSSING 4359 Washington Rd............................................706-210-8010 HEPHZIBAH 2601 Tobacco Rd. ...........................................................706-790-0977 MARTINEZ 3849 Washington Rd. ........................................................706-860-6303 N. AUGUSTA 404 E. Martintown Rd. (Closed Sun).............................803-278-4466 Friday, September 19 6:00pm Parad e sta u Aug on m Com www.augustaarts.com No Pets or Coolers! of Na tions 41 Cinema: Close-Up Can’t Alison Lohman Act Her Age? By Joey Berlin A lison Lohman would really love to act her age. The youthful-looking starlet drew raves last year starring as the troubled 15-yearold daughter of Michelle Pfeiffer in “White Oleander.” Now, Lohman shines in “Matchstick Men” as the 14-year-old daughter of con man Nicolas Cage. The surprise is that Lohman is no kid. In fact, she is about to turn 24 and more adult roles are finally coming her way. But for now, the Palm Springs, Calif., native is happy to play up her childlike features and let audiences buzz about that precocious little girl on the big screen, stealing all of her scenes from the seasoned pros. In director Ridley Scott’s “Matchstick Men,” Cage stars as an obsessive-compulsive basket case who happens to be a con artist. Lohman suddenly appears, playing Cage’s long-lost daughter, and she wants in on the action. They make an irresistible father-daughter tag team and Lohman found that, even at her advanced age, she could still learn a lot from her veteran director and Oscar-winning co-star. Q: “Matchstick Men” is about scam artists. Have you ever been conned in real life? A: I have! In London, I bought one of those phone calling cards and I saw that all of the minutes had been erased. It had already been used and I’d been scammed. So I went back and he refused to give me my money back. I realized I could play this two ways: I could just walk away or I could scream and cry. So I yelled, “How could you do this to a young girl?” And he gave me my money back! Q: As an actress, does your youthful appearance sometimes work against you? A: Yeah, but I wanted to look young in this role. It’s a necessity because she’s 14. For this role, I needed to feel and be 14, so I hung out with my 14-year-old cousin for a month. I wore a retainer and pigtails. There’s something in kids’ eyes. It’s optimistic, as if anything is possible. The most beautiful thing you can see is a child’s eyes. I had to make sure I captured that youthful spirit. Q: Being able to disguise yourself as a young teenager like that, are you as much a master manipulator as your character? A: She’s always two steps ahead of everybody else, but I’m not a manipulator. I’m more candid. What you see is what you get. I don’t have an agenda. Q: Was your role in “Matchstick Men” especially demanding, emotionally? A: She’s very high-strung. When she laughs, it’s really loud, big and extreme. And, when she’s crying, it’s the same thing, going from one end of the spectrum to the other. I had fun. Q: What did you expect when you were cast opposite Nicolas Cage? A: I expected him to be a genius, which he is. He’s very subtle. It’s all done with the eyes, which is how it is in real life. He’s such a great actor and I was amazed to get the chance to work with him. We’d laugh a lot. Nic is so smart, so interesting. He has a dry wit and always had something off-the-wall to say. He made our scenes fun. Q: You also get to go bowling and ride a skateboard in “Matchstick Men.” Do you do either of those very well? A: I had to practice my bowling and they brought in an instructor. It didn’t turn out too great. I had to make the ball roll down the line so it would look believable. And I had also never been on a skateboard before. I’d been snowboarding before, but this was a struggle. Q: The music in the film is quite retro, with artists such as Frank Sinatra and Bobby Darin. How did you like it? A: I loved the music. It was perfect for this film. But that’s Ridley Scott. He has a vision and he pieces it together seamlessly. That’s why he’s so great. Q: What was he like to work with? A: Without even saying anything, just using his eyes, he has the power to get you to do something. It’s intangible and magical. His energy lifts you. Any doubt you have is just gone. And it’s really simple and amazing. Q: Do you also try to learn from other actors? A: I do, but not during a scene, because I have to focus as much as anyone. But if there’s anything left over, I wonder how the other actors work, how someone’s so great. Subconsciously, you can do that by just being there, by osmosis. Q: Because of your youthful look, is their any concern about being typecast? A: Well, in my next film, “Big Fish,” which is directed by Tim Burton, I get to play Ewan McGregor’s wife. I like playing young girls, but I don’t think about looking really young. I don’t even think about the age of the character. It doesn’t matter. I can see that I’m getting older when I look in the mirror. What do we have in common with every other Mexican restaurant in town? Not a damn thing! 976 Broad Street • 724-0501 Monday-Saturday 11:30am-10pm Full Bar M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 42 MOVIE CLOCK ganic Living through e r O & Thera ag M E T R O peutic Mass a g o Y S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 Open House Saturday, October 4th •Chair Massages • Trunk Showings •Acupuncturist • Door Prizes 501 West Avenue • North Augusta • 803-279-8262 ● ▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ● Now serving bottled Import & domestic beer! marinated grilled chicken marinated grilled steak black beans or pinto beans fresh pico de gallo ! 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REGAL AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 20 Movies Good 9/12 - 9/18 Once Upon a Time in Mexico (R) Fri-Sat: 12:20, 2:10, 2:45, 4:45, 5:15, 7:15, 7:45, 9:40, 10:10, 12:10; Sun-Thur: 12:20, 2:10, 2:45, 4:45, 5:15, 7:15, 7:45, 9:40, 10:10 No Good Deed (R) Fri-Sat: 12:05, 2:35, 5:00, 7:30, 9:55, 12:30; Sun-Thur: 12:05, 2:35, 5:00, 7:30, 9:55 Matchstick Men (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:20, 4:05, 6:50, 9:35, 12:20; Sun-Thur: 1:20, 4:05, 6:50, 9:35 Cabin Fever (R) 12:55, 3:15, 5:35, 7:55, 10:20 Fighting Temptations (PG-13) Sat: 7:30 Under the Tuscan Sun (PG-13) Sat: 7:00 Secondhand Lions (PG) 5:00 The Order (R) 12:15, 2:55, 5:25, 8:05, 10:30 Dickie Roberts (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 2:15, 4:40, 7:10, 9:30, 11:55; Sun-Thur: 2:15, 4:40, 7:10, 9:30 Jeepers Creepers 2 (R) Fri-Sat: 12:00, 2:25, 4:55, 7:25, 9:15, 9:55, 11:45, 12:25; Sun-Thur: 12:00, 2:25, 4:55, 7:25, 9:15, 9:55 The Italian Job (PG-13) Fri: 2:50, 8:00, 10:40; Sat: 2:30; Sun-Thur: 2:50, 8:00, 10:40 My Boss’s Daughter (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:10, 3:20, 5:30, 7:40, 9:50, 12:00; Sun-Thur: 1:10, 3:20, 5:30, 7:40, 9:50 The Medallion (PG-13) Fri-Thur: 5:40, 10:25 Uptown Girls (PG-13) 11:55, 2:10, 4:30, 6:50 Open Range (R) 1:05, 4:05, 7:05, 10:05 Freddy vs. Jason (R) 1:05, 3:25, 5:45, 8:10, 10:35 Freak y Friday (PG) Fri-Sat: 12:15, 2:25, 4:40, 7:00, 9:20, 11:40; Sun-Thur: 12:15, 2:25, 4:40, 7:00, 9:20 S.W.A.T. (PG-13) 1:40, 4:30, 7:20, 10:00 American Wedding (R) 12:50, 3:10, 7:50 Seabiscuit (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:45, 3:45, 6:45, 9:45; Sun: 12:45, 10:15; Mon-Thur: 12:45, 3:45, 6:45, 9:45 Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (PG) 1:00, 3:15, 5:25 Bad Boys 2 (R) 12:25, 3:40, 6:55, 10:10 Pirates of the Caribbean (PG-13) Fri: 1:15, 4:20, 7:20, 10:25; Sat: 1:00, 4:00; Sun-Thur: 1:15, 4:20, 7:20, 10:25 The League of Ex traordinary Gentlemen (PG13) 7:35, 10:15 Finding Nemo (G) Fri: 12:20, 5:30; Sat: 12:00, 5:00; Sun-Thur: 12:20, 5:30 EVANS 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 9/12 - 9/18 Matchstick Men (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 2:10, 4:30, 7:35, 9:55; Mon-Thur: 4:30, 7:35, 9:55 Cabin Fever (R) Fri: 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, 9:30; SatSun: 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, 9:30; Mon-Thur: 5:30, 7:30, 9:30 Once Upon a Time in Mexico (R) Fri: 2:30, 5:00, 7:20, 9:45; Sat-Sun: 2:30, 5:00, 7:20, 9:50; Mon-Thur: 5:00, 7:20, 9:45 Magdalene Sisters (R) Fri: 4:20, 7:15, 9:25; Sat-Sun: 1:20, 4:20, 7:15, 9:25; Mon-Thur: 4:20, 7:15, 9:25 The Order (R) Fri-Sun: 2:20, 4:50, 7:10, 9:25; Mon-Thur: 4:50, 7:10, 9:25 southwestern rice sh, It’s all fre ural, It’s all nat d! It’s all goo REGAL 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 9/12 - 9/18 Grind (PG-13) 1:55, 4:50, 7:45, 9:55 Bend It Like Beckham (PG-13) 2:25, 4:45, 7:10, 9:40 28 Days Later (R) 2:00, 4:30, 7:00, 9:25 The Matrix: Reloaded (R) 2:05, 4:55, 7:50 Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas (PG) 7:20, 9:20 Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle (PG-13) 2:20, 4:40, 7:15, 9:35 Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde (PG13) 2:30, 5:00, 7:25, 9:45 The Hulk (PG-13) 1:55, 4:45, 7:35 Rugrats Go Wild (PG) 2:10, 4:25 2 Fast 2 Furious (PG-13) 2:15, 4:35, 7:05, 9:30 Bruce Almighty (PG-13) 2:35, 5:05, 7:30, 9:50 Daddy Day Care (PG) 2:40, 5:10, 7:40, 9:45 Wrong Turn (R) 2:45, 5:15, 7:50, 9:55 green peppers Catch the game on Saturday and Sunday! Daniel village shopping center 667-0960 Voted #1 Burrito in Athens by The Athens Banner Herald tu re, Fiber, P hotography, Painti ng, Printmaking, spinach Arts in the Heart of Augusta Fine Arts Show Southeastern Artists Augusta Artist Tents All Art Collectors Welcome! www.augustaarts.com No Pets or Coolers! , Jewel ry, Mixed Media, Metal, Wood, Clay, B eading, Drawi ng, Glass, Scu lp mushrooms Jewelry, Mixed Media, Metal, Wood, Clay, Beading, Drawing, Glass, Sculpt u re, Fiber, P hotography, Pai nting, Printmaking freshly grated monterrey jack cheese sour cream MASTERS 7 CINEMAS Movies Good 9/12 - 9/18 Once Upon a Time in Mexico (R) Fri: 5:10, 7:50, 10:00; Sat-Sun: 2:45, 5:10, 7:50, 10:00; Mon-Thur: 5:10, 7:50 Matchstick Men (PG-13) Fri: 5:00, 7:30, 9:50; Sat-Sun: 2:30, 5:00, 7:30, 9:50; Mon-Thur: 5:00, 7:30 Cabin Fever (R) Fri: 5:25, 8:00, 10:10; Sat-Sun: 3:20, 5:25, 8:00, 10:10; Mon-Thur: 5:25, 8:00 Jeepers Creepers 2 (R) Fri: 5:15, 7:45, 10:15; Sat-Sun: 2:50, 5:15, 7:45, 10:15; Mon-Thur: 5:15, 7:45 Freddy vs. Jason (R) Fri: 5:05, 8:05, 10:05; Sat-Sun: 3:05, 5:05, 8:05, 10:05; Mon-Thur: 5:05, 8:05 Freak y Friday (PG) Fri: 5:20, 7:35, 9:40; Sat-Sun: 3:10, 5:20, 7:35, 9:40; Mon-Thur: 5:20, 7:35 S.W.A.T. (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 5:00, 9:55; MonThur: 5:00 Bad Boys 2 (R) Fri: 7:10; Sat-Sun: 2:15, 7:10; Mon-Thur: 7:10 Movie listings are subject to change without notice. fresh guacamole jalapenos Dickie Roberts (PG-13) Fri: 3:10, 5:25, 7:35, 9:40; Sat-Sun: 1:00, 3:10, 5:25, 7:35, 9:40; Mon-Thur: 5:25, 7:35, 9:40 Jeepers Creepers 2 (R) Fri: 3:20, 5:40, 7:50, 10:00; Sat-Sun: 1:15, 3:20, 5:40, 7:50, 10:00; Mon-Thur: 5:40, 7:50, 10:00 Open Range (R) Fri: 4:00, 7:00, 9:45; Sat-Sun: 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 4:00, 7:00, 9:45 Uptown Girls (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 2:00, 7:40; MonThur: 7:40 Freak y Friday (PG) Fri: 3:05, 5:15, 7:25, 9:35; Sat-Sun: 12:55, 3:05, 5:15, 7:25, 9:35; MonThur: 5:15, 7:25, 9:35 S.W.A.T. (PG-13) 4:40, 10:00 Seabiscuit (PG-13) Fri: 4:10, 6:55, 9:35; SatSun: 12:55, 4:10, 6:55, 9:35; Mon-Thur: 4:10, 6:55, 9:35 Pirates of the Caribbean (PG-13) Fri: 4:05, 7:05, 9:45; Sat-Sun: 1:05, 4:05, 7:05, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 4:05, 7:05, 9:45 ● ▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ●▼ ● 43 Music M E T R O S P I R I T Patrick Blanchard Muses About Music S E P T 2 0 0 3 Photo by Joe White W ithin the first few minutes of speaking with Patrick Blanchard, it’s easy to see why he’s so well-known – not to mention well-liked – among the Augusta music community. I suppose it’s kind of like the analogy he used later on in our conversation, when he likened playing with a group of musicians to going on a first date: Within the first five minutes, he says, you’ll know whether it’s going to work out or not. With Blanchard himself, within the first five minutes of meeting him and hearing his impassioned words on music, you know you’re dealing with a genuine musician. “I’m a singer/songwriter by trade,” he says by way of opening the conversation. “In Augusta, up until a couple of years ago, I don’t think that being a singer/songwriter could pay the bills. It’s starting to capitalize on itself. With all that stuff going on live, music is really making a comeback in this town.” Music, it seems, is in Blanchard’s blood. A self-described part-time student and full-time musician, he recalls the times his father, who is also a music lover, chaperoned trips to bars so Blanchard could see live performances from local and touring bands. “When I was 13, 14, I remember getting really into indie music,” he says. “I remember my dad taking me to bars so I could hear music, the country rock bands that I love.” But it was strumming along to Allman Brothers records with friends Adam Hatfield and Charles and Josh Kelley around the ages of 11 and 12 that planted the seed which would eventually grow into an appetite for playing in front of an audience. Most any night of the week, you can catch Blanchard somewhere around Augusta, whether it’s jamming with friends Tuesday nights at Surrey Tavern, playing bass with Tara Scheyer and the Half-Shirt Leroys at a weekend gig or a solo acoustic set. “I toured. That was a lot of fun,” says Blanchard. But, he adds, traveling on top of playing every night can quickly lead to burnout. Keeping it local and having the freedom to play what he loves helps combat that. “I play that much now. But now I can play ‘Walking in Memphis’ by Marc “Music is truly an emotional, a spiritual, a physical bond between people.” — Patrick Blanchard Cohn instead of ‘Margaritaville.’ I can go a little bit farther back into obscurity. It keeps it interesting.” When you have several musicians digging through their respective repertoires and pulling out their favorite obscure tunes, that’s when things get especially interesting. Blanchard and a crew of friends and local musicians do just that Tuesday nights at Surrey Tavern. “It started there one Tuesday last 1 1 By Lisa Jordan August,” Blanchard says, marveling at how long it’s been since the Tuesday Night Jam Session began. “Tuesday night, 7:30, sitting back at Surrey Center, bored out of my mind, always playing acoustic stuff. I called up Adam Hatfield and Jamie Jones. They both showed up. We had a blast. It just kind of started from nothing – we had never played together in that configuration, much less rehearsed.” What started out as a sparse weeknight audience grew a couple people at a time until it’s what it is now, a crowd comparable to that on a weekend. And what started out as a few friends jamming onstage has grown in a similar fashion, a musician at a time, to become a diverse pool of talent. “We had some of the instrumental funk standards, jazz standards,” Blanchard says. “Some people say we’re a jam band; some people say we’ve lost it, we’re crazy. But people love it. “We do a lot of obscure stuff out of nowhere. It’s a lot of fun and that has given me an opportunity to play bass again. It’s a blast and we all have a lot of fun.” It doesn’t hurt, he adds, that Augusta’s music community is one of the closest-knit he’s ever had the privilege of playing in – and that there are so many talented musicians to perform with. “Another major point that I think is great – I’m willing to bet that, per capita, Augusta is one of the wealthiest as far as talent,” Blanchard says. He recalls times when some of Augusta’s seasoned performers took him under their wing, and is glad that he’s able to do the same for musicians just now coming up in Augusta’s live music venues. “Music is truly an emotional, a spiritual, a physical bond between people,” says Blanchard. As for his own future, it’s ripe with possibilities. He’s finishing up a solo album, a project which, Blanchard says, marks one of the first times he’s had creative control over an album. There’s still the Tuesday jam to mix things up, the Patrick Blanchard Band to work with, and, of course, songwriting duties. “Whether I could make a living being a songwriter, that would be cool,” he says. “Sometimes I go, look what it did to Elvis, look what it did to Buddy Holly, Hendrix, Janis, Jim Morrison. But all those people loved what they did. You need to keep a positive mindframe. As long as you don’t let the substance of the business get to you, as long as you’re smart about it – as long as I’m smart about it, which I’ve been this far. “Augusta isn’t quite tired of me yet, and I’m really glad.” 44 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 Music The Future of DJ-ing D J Roonie G is a pretty busy guy. In the past few weeks, he’s performed at the DJ Times International DJ Expo, a lateAugust celebration of all things DJ, in Atlantic City, N.J. This week, he’s in London performing and demonstrating at the Professional Lighting and Sound Association (PLASA) show (the reason, I’m assuming, his people and my people couldn’t get their act together for a phone interview). At the end of September, it’s off to the West Coast for a weeklong series of dates hitting everything from West Hollywood, Calif., to Anchorage, Alaska. And where do you go between London and Hollywood? Apparently, it’s Augusta. DJ Roonie G will be at Augusta’s own Last Call Sept. 19, showing off the future of mixing. If you’re familiar with DJ Roonie G, it may be because he’s won a slew of awards and contests, including first place at the 2002 Digital Turntable Battle, Club DJ of the Year at the 2000 American Disc Jockey Awards and DMA Mixmania 2000 DJ Champion. He’s also remixed songs by major-label artists Naughty by Nature, Jerky Boys and 95 South. But perhaps DJ Roonie G’s biggest claim to fame is his work with digital DJ technology. The Pioneer CDJ-1000, a digital turntable, was developed with DJ Roonie G’s input. In an interview with DJ Zone magazine, DJ Roonie G recalls sketching the design concept on a napkin in between bites of sushi. It seems he wanted to bring together the art of manipulating records with the convenience of digital music formats. Now DJ Roonie G gets to travel the world, demonstrating the new art of digital DJ-ing, at the same time paying homage to the old style of doing things: A review of one of the CDJ-1000 demonstrations had DJ Roonie G scratching behind his back, through his legs and, yes, with his nose. By Lisa Jordan If you’re curious about the future of DJ-ing and want to check out the digital revolution up close and personal, head over to Last Call Sept. 19. For more information on DJ Roonie G, visit www.roonietunes.com or www.pioneerprodj.com. To get in touch with Last Call, visit www.lastcallaugusta.com or phone 738-8730. Other DJ Events If you just can’t wait until Sept. 19 to get your DJ fix, there are two events this weekend that should satisfy your craving. • Club Continuum hosts Transfunktioner, an industrial, electro, synthpop and EBM feast with DJ NcodeDead, DJ Vyrss and the (anti) Chris Sept. 12, 9 p.m. Transfunktioner is open to patrons 21 and up and admission is $5 at the door. For more information, visit www.negativeeleven.com/transfunktioner. • The Hangnail Gallery hosts Martin Atkins, creator and producer of group Pigface, 8 p.m. Sept. 14. Atkins has performed with acts like Gravity Kills, Skinny Puppy, Ministry, Nine Inch Nails and more. His show at the Hangnail combines a spoken word performance and a DJ set comprised of 90 percent unreleased material from his archives. For more Martin Atkins information, visit the Hangnail Gallery’s Web site at www.hellblinki.com/hangnail or give them a call at 722-9899. DJ Roonie G. metro a coffeehouse Espressos & Cocktails Cocktail Hour Nightly 5-8 pm 1054 broad • downtown (on corner of 11th & Broad) 706-722-6468 thurs 11th Death Star $2.50 Import Draught fri 12th Border Bash Special $5 Red BULLDOGS & Vodka Pints All Night! GO DAWGS!!! sat 13th Bluegrass in the Broad Daylight (2-5pm) Coming Thurs 9/18 Tara Scheyer & the Half Shirt Leroys mon 15th Monday Night Football Party!! $1 Bud Light Draught/PBR/Miller High Life $5 Red Bull & Vodka tues 16th Irish Eyes are Smilin’ Live Celtic Music w/ Sibin $2.50 Guinness & Harp wed 17th Metro Orientation $1 Bud Light Draught $2.50 Jagermeister Shots MUSIC MINIS Warren Zevon To Get Private Memorial He had been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer a year ago. Sunday, the 56year-old singer/songwriter died in his sleep. According to his manager, his ashes will be scattered over the Pacific Ocean. See www.warrenzevon.com for info on making contributions to VH1’s Save the Music Foundation in his name. If You Know What’s Good for You… …then you won’t go to a Manson concert in uniform.. On two separate occasions (that we know about), Marilyn Manson has been taken to court, accused of pulling security guards’ heads toward his crotch and gyrating. The 2001 case cost him $4,000 in fines and other costs. But the suit that arose from an incident that happened three years ago didn’t cost him anything – at least not in fines. Security guard David Diaz brought a federal law suit against the performer for over $75,000. According to “Billboard,” that was to pay for emotional distress and “other injuries.” (One wonders about those other injuries.) Manson never said he didn’t do it, but argued that a humped head does not battery make. On Sept. 8, a St. Paul, Minn., jury ruled in Manson’s favor. He’s starting a North American tour Oct. 10. Be careful. Coldplay Go the Political Way But not in their songs. Frontman Chris Martin’s latest adventure was the Sept. 9 World Trade Organization (WTO) gathering in Cancun, Mexico, to lobby for more fair trade policies. He brought a petition, referred to as the “Big Noise Petition” to the attention of the WTO head, Dr. Supachai Panitchpakdi. He lists trade policies right up there with war and lack of education as one of the biggest causes of poverty. He says his sociopolitical pursuits are not going to make it onto Coldplay’s next album, however. Catch the NFL at Stool Pigeons Watch all your games here on NFL Sunday Ticket Home of the Atlanta Falcons and Pittsburg Steelers 23 TV’S Including 6ft projector screen $1.50 Bud/Bud Light AllDay/Every Day COMPILED BY RHONDA JONES Information compiled from online and other music news sources. Stool Pigeons | 277 Robert C. Daniel Jr. Pkwy | 737-6950 Friday 12 DAPPLED GRAYS Saturday 13 Augusta’s Newest Dance Club JAPONIZE ELEPHANTS Thursday 18 SIBAN Friday 19 B LACK B OTTOM B ISCUITS Jeremy’s Nightclub Saturday 20 C OUNTRY F ARM -S MOKIN ’ H OT B LUEGRASS Every Tuesday Pint Night $2 Pints 4 til close taproom 974 Broad Street 826-9857 Open Tues-Sat 4pm-until Next to Nacho Mama’s Every Night Ladies in Free Mixed Drinks 2 for 1 until 11 $2 Apple Martini Shots Friday & Saturday Dance with One of Detroit’s Best DJ’s 3415 Wrightsboro Road Across from Augusta Mall Behind Waffle House 45 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 MUSIC 46 S P I R I T S E P T SUNDAY NIGHT LIVE 1 1 2 0 0 3 BY TURNER Stewart & Winfield T Sunday, Sept. 21 Sunday, Sept. 28 Soul Bar Entertainment This Sunday presents 80’s Night at the Mellow Mushroom Music at 10 pm 21 & Up after 10 pm $2 HAPPY HOUR Mon-Fri 4:30-7:00 Sat & Sun 3:00-7:00 LIVE MUSIC EVERY SUNDAY! Corner of 12th & Broad :::: Downtown Augusta :::: 828-5578 AUGUSTA’S ONLY KARAOKE BAR! he dreaded sophomore jinx. As BOSTON, HOOTIE, THIRD EYE BLIND and countless other musicians have discovered, the second album is usually the toughest one they’ll ever make. The constant touring, the quality (or lack thereof) of the material, as well as the pressure from the record label to give them another big-selling disc, has derailed many careers just as they were getting started. Will this happen to JOHN MAYER? As with NORAH JONES’ “Come Away with Me,” Mayer’s major label debut, “Room for Squares,” took many months before the disc caught on with the public. Mayer’s newie, “Heavier Things,” in stores this week, looks to be another winner. Mayer is currently on tour down under in Australia and will be announcing U.S. dates soon. Roadtrip 2003 Dept. WIDESPREAD PANIC has announced tour dates for their autumn trek around the South. The band, with new guitarist GEORGE MCCONNELL in tow, are supporting their seventh disc, “Ball,” and fans will have several shows from which to choose. Panic will perform Oct. 14 at Chattanooga’s Memorial Auditorium, Oct. 16 at Charlotte’s Arena (with Leftover Salmon opening), Oct. 17 at Charleston’s Coliseum, Oct.18 at the Centerplex in Macon and Oct. 21 at Columbia’s famed Township Auditorium. ZZ TOP’S oft-delayed “Mescalero” is another new release this week. A typical back-tobasics affair for the trio, the album is full of originals from DUSTY HILL, FRANK BEARD and BILLY GIBBONS. One notable exception is a hot remake of LOWELL FULSOM’S “Tramp,” which was a big hit in 1967 for OTIS REDDING and CARLA THOMAS. ZZ Top has a box set in the pipeline too as “Chrome, Snakes and BBQ” is set for next month. It will be a fourdisc affair full of hits, misses and rarities recorded during 1968-1992. It might be a wee bit early for COLDPLAY to release a live disc, especially since the British band has only a couple of albums under their belt. Regardless, the band does tend to astound in an in-concert setting, leading to the CD/DVD “Coldplay Live” due in November. The affair was recorded earlier this summer in Australia and features solid performances of “Yellow,” “Shiver” and “Clocks.” Had to love what Chris Rock said at the recent MTV Video Awards about Coldplay’s performance of “The Scientist.” The song and video is so morose that Rock was prompted to announce to the crowd, “I hope you didn’t slit your wrists to that one.” Turner’s Quick Notes Bluesman CHRIS DUARTE was in fine form at his recent gig at the Blind Pig in downtown Augusta ... RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE has a new DVD, “Live at Olympic Auditorium,” set for November ... They might not get along too well but SIMON AND GARFUNKEL are reuniting for a tour with dates to be announced soon ... THE BYRDS’ groundbreaking “Sweetheart of the Rodeo” has been reissued yet again with outtakes featuring the late Georgian GRAM PARSONS ... DAVE MATTHEWS’ first solo work, “Some Devil,” will be out Sept. 23. Turner’s Rock ‘N’ Roll Jeopardy A. These two guitarists were the only females in the recent Rolling Stone poll of the 100 best guitarists of all time. Q. Who are Joni Mitchell and Joan Jett? (Hey, where’s Bonnie Raitt?) M E T R O Karaoke nights 6 a week! Greene Streets Karaoke Bar COLDPLAY Corner of Greene & 11th Street • 823-2002 Mon-Fri 3pm-3am • Sat 6pm-2am BY ED TURNER 47 Night Life M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 (Left) The Stillwater Tap Room guarantees you’ve never seen anything like this before: Catch the Japonize Elephants Sept. 13. (Right) Brandon Bower performs at Somewhere in Augusta Sept. 17. Thursday, 11th Adams Nightclub - DJ The Bee’s Knees - Meditate on This! Blind Pig - Randy Car ver Jr. Band, Freddie Sanders and David Br yan Cooking for Emergency Personnel Cafe Du Teau - James McIntyre Club Argos - Karaoke Dance Par t y with DJ Joe Steel Coliseum - Karaoke with Travis, Hi-Energy Dance Continuum - Playa*Listic Thursday Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Ex press Finish Line Cafe - DJ Fox’s Lair - Karaoke Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory, Josh Pierce Metro Coffeehouse - Deathstar Michael’s - Mike Swif t Modjeska - DJ Richie Rich Playground - Open Mic Night Red Lion - Paul Arrowood Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Doug Romanella Soul Bar - Buckner Surrey Tavern - Pat Blanchard Band Friday, 12th Adams Nightclub - DJ Andy’s - R&R Back Roads - DJ The Bee’s Knees - DJ The Ear thling Blind Pig - Border Bash Par ty, Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips Cafe Du Teau - James McIntyre Club Argos - Sasha No Holds Barred Talk Show Continuum - Transfunk tioner with DJ NCodeDead, DJ Vyrss and the (anti) Chris Cotton Patch - Black-Eyed Susan Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Knowface, South of Sane D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Ex press Finish Line Cafe - DJ Fox’s Lair - Dennis Hall French Market Grille West - Quiet Storm Greene Streets - Karaoke Hangnail Gallery - An Almost Acoustic Evening with Will McCranie’s Abstract Magic, Billy S., Rober t Brigham and more Highlander - Heavy Dose Jeremy’s Nightclub - DJ Joe’s Underground - Red-Headed Stepchild Luck y Lady’s - Magic Hat Marlboro Station - Lauren Alexander Michael’s - Mike Swif t Modjeska - DJ Kenny Ray Ms. Carolyn’s - Live Band Partridge Inn - Jazz Soulstice with Anthony Carpenter Playground - Barroom Olympics The Pourhouse - A Step Up Red Lion - Nutshell, Angela Todd Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Eric The Shack - DJ Chip Soul Bar - ‘80s Night: Louder Than Bombs Stillwater Tap Room - Dappled Grays Surrey Tavern - Soul Dimension Saturday, 13th Adams Nightclub - DJ Andy’s - Patrick Vining Group Back Roads - DJ The Bee’s Knees - Jazz Sessions with Moniker Blind Pig - Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips The Break Room - Knowface Cafe Du Teau - James McIntyre Club Argos - Argos Angels Cabaret, DJ Joe Steel Cotton Patch - Joe Stevenson, The Windward Blues Project Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Skerv, Capital A D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Finish Line Cafe - DJ, Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Karaoke Greene Streets - Karaoke Jeremy’s Nightclub - DJ Joe’s Underground - Cheap Wine Luck y Lady’s - Magic Hat Marlboro Station - Miss Peg Metro Coffeehouse - Live Af ternoon Bluegrass with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Michael’s - Mike Swif t Modjeska - Ladies Lounge Ms. Carolyn’s - Live Band Partridge Inn - Sandy B. and the All-Stars Playground - Barroom Olympics The Pourhouse - Quiet Storm, Tutu D’Vyne Red Lion - Elliot Holden Group, Josh Pierce Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Eric The Shack - DJ Buckwheat Soul Bar - Entropy Funk Band Stillwater Tap Room - Japonize Elephants Surrey Tavern - Soul Dimension Topps Lounge - The Hellblinki Sex tet, Embr yo, Tur tleneck, Darkened by Reason, Paint the Sk y Red Sunday, 14th Adams Nightclub - DJ Cafe Du Teau - The Last Bohemian Quar tet Cotton Patch - Dennis Hall Hangnail Gallery - Mar tin Atkins Marlboro Station - Claire Storm Mellow Mushroom - Stewar t and Winfield Orange Moon - Smooth Jazz Sunday with Emery Bennet t Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Doug Romanella The Shack - Karaoke with DJ Joe Steel, Sasha Somewhere in Augusta - Jayson and Michael Monday, 15th Blind Pig - Live Music Coliseum - Q.A.F. continued on page 48 48 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 Affordable Rates!!! 32 Track Track Pro Pro Tools Tools 32 Recording & & Mixing Mixing Recording 706-667-0094 ask for Jeff Clarity Studios WORLD OF MUSIC Band Instrument Rentals Visit our new location 3526 Wrightsboro Rd Just down from Bobby Jones Ford Across from La-z-boy LOWEST PRICE IN TOWN 650-9977 Dennis Hall plays at the Cotton Patch Sept. 14. continued from page 47 Continuum - Monday Madness Crossroads - Club Sin Dance Par ty Fox’s Lair - Open Mic Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Michael’s - Mike Swif t Surrey Tavern - John Kolbeck Tuesday, 16th Adams Nightclub - DJ The Bee’s Knees - 12*Tone Lounge Blind Pig - Sabo and the Scorchers Coliseum - Tournament Tuesday D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Fox’s Lair - Open Mic French Market Grille West - Wayne Capps Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Metro Coffeehouse - Irish Night with Sibin Michael’s - Mike Swif t Surrey Tavern - Tuesday Night Jam Session Wednesday, 17th Surrey Tavern Thurs - 11 PAT BLANCHARD BAND Fri - 12 & Sat -13 SOUL DIMENSION Mon - 15 JOHN KOLBECK TUESDAY NIGHT JAM SESSION Tues - 16 Wed - 17 JOHN KOLBECK MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL IS BACK! FREE PIZZA! 471 Highland Ave. | 736-1221 | Open Mon-Sat at 4 pm until Adams Nightclub - DJ The Bee’s Knees - Heliocentric Cinema Blind Pig - David Bryan Unplugged Club Argos - DJ Joe Steel Coliseum - Wet ‘n’ Wild Talent Search Continuum - Open Mic Jam Sessions Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Fox’s Lair - Open Mic Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Ruskin Michael’s - Mike Swif t Modjeska - Theology on Tap Movie Night: “The Decalogue” Playground - Hari-Karaoke with Kap’n Karaoke The Pourhouse - Edmond P. “The Lurch” Kida Somewhere in Augusta - Brandon Bower Soul Bar - Live Jazz Surrey Tavern - John Kolbeck Upcoming Bozo Porno Circus - Hangnail Gallery - Sept. 19 DJ Roonie G - Last Call - Sept. 19 Snapdragon, Pat Blanchard Band - Soul Bar Sept. 20 Orchestra Taboga - Modjeska - Sept. 20 King Hippo - Mellow Mushroom - Sept. 21 Seether - Crossroads - Sept. 25 Jucifer, Deathstar - Soul Bar - Sept. 25 RS3 - Red Lion - Sept. 26 The Hushpuppies - Last Call - Sept. 26 KISStory Rock and Roll Halloween Ball Jeremy’s Nightclub - Oct. 31 Elsewhere Dashboard Confessional - Tabernacle, Atlanta Sept. 11 Mogwai - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - Sept. 11 Yo La Tengo - Variet y Playhouse, Atlanta Sept. 12 Aerosmith, Kiss - HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - Sept. 14 Boyd Tinsley - Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre, Charlot te, N.C. - Sept. 16; HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - Sept. 20 Steely Dan - HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta Sept. 19 Crosby, Stills and Nash - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - Sept. 19 Jewel - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta Sept. 20 Erase Errata, Numbers - Echo Lounge, Atlanta Sept. 20 Trace Adkins, Tracy Byrd - Georgia Mountain Fair, Hiawasee, Ga. - Sept. 20 Lucinda Williams, The Jayhawks - Tabernacle, Atlanta - Sept. 24 Ranier Maria, Denali - Echo Lounge, Atlanta Sept. 26 The String Cheese Incident - Fox Theatre, Atlanta - Sept. 26-27 Al Stewart, John Sebastian - Wills Park Equestrian Center, Alpharet ta, Ga. - Sept. 27 Cursive, Blood Brothers - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - Sept. 27 Cowboy Mouth, Great Big Sea - The Handlebar, Greenville, S.C. - Oct. 1 Joan Baez - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - Oct. 4; The Handlebar, Greenville, S.C. - Oct. 5 Ani Difranco - Tabernacle, Atlanta - Oct. 9 The Raveonettes, Stellastarr - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - Oct. 9 Asylum Street Spankers - The Handlebar, Greenville, S.C. - Oct. 15 The Doors: 21st Century - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - Oct. 24 Diamond Rio, Mark Wills - Georgia Mountain Fair, Hiawassee, Ga. - Oct. 25 Average White Band - The Handlebar, Greenville, S.C. - Oct. 29 Southern Culture on the Skids - The Handlebar, Greenville, S.C. - Oct. 31 Oak Ridge Boys, Phil Vassar - Georgia Mountain Fair, Hiawassee, Ga. - Nov. 1 Bill Gaither Christmas Homecoming Concert Philips Arena, Atlanta - Dec. 6 Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets, by calling 828-7700, or online at w w w.ticketmaster.com. Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX or online at w w w.tixonline.com. Night Life listings are subject to change without notice. Deadline for inclusion in Night Life calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones or Lisa Jordan by calling 738-1142, fa xing 736-0443 or e-mailing to email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org. 49 Ladies Lounge this Saturday Sept. 13, 2003 Bangin next Saturday Augusta's NEW HEALTHY CHOICE MENU ITEMS Best Restaurant Overall Chicken, Salmon, Grouper, Tuna or Trout broiled with Garlic, Wine & Lemon 1 1 Brown Rice and Wheat Pasta • Best Desserts • Best Beer Selection • Friendliest Service Get a taste of New Orleans NOW OFFERING LUNCHEON DELIVERIES! featuring: Orchesta Taboga RIVERWATCH PARKWAY TO FURY’S FERRY ROAD WINN DIXIE MARKET PLACE 855-5111 706.303.9700 • 813 broad I n f o . a t w w w. m o d j e s k a l o u n g e . c o m S P I R I T S E P T ADDED FOR LUNCH & DINNER Healthy Eating Never Tasted So Good! 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Offer Expires 11/07/03. 1-888-GLAMOUR SHOTS www.glamourshots.com Augusta • 3450 Wrightsboro Road 706-733-4000 News of the Weird T ensions are brewing in the family of Zell Kravinsky, 48, and his psychiatrist-wife, Emily, over what she believes is his excessive altruism, according to an August profile in The New York Times. Kravinsky is not just a passionate philanthropist (from his fortune in commercial real estate), but such a strict utilitarian that he says he would sacrifice his one good kidney (he’s already donated the other one) if it were needed by someone doing more social good than he. “No one should have two kidneys,” he says, “until everyone has one.” He said he cannot value his own kids more than anyone else’s, a point that has angered his parents and caused Emily to threaten divorce and two friends to abandon him. People With Issues A 31-year-old Philadelphia government employee’s surgery is just a radical example of how obsessed some women are to wear excruciatingly painful, but fashionable, shoes, according to an August Wall Street Journal report. For about $10,000, the woman had one toe shortened and another straightened so that now she can wear today’s ever-pointier, opentoed pumps. Among podiatrists’ other remedies: narrowing of the nails; collagen injections to pad the soles of the feet; and a $225 “foot facial” scrub. But when a Moline, Ill., woman told her more traditional podiatrist that she needed corrective toe surgery, the doctor said, “No, you need different shoes.” More Things To Worry About The New York Times reported that activists working to encourage organ donations deplored the recent shortage of superior young organs for transplant, in large part because murder and traffic fatality rates have come down (August). And Texas public schools raided the budget to buy state flags for every classroom in order to comply with this month’s inauguration of required student pledges of allegiance to Texas (August). And one of the apparently most pressing needs in Varallo, Italy, was addressed when the city council began subsidizing half the cost of Viagra tablets for its residents (August). Oops! • Broward County, which was one of the “ground zeros” during Florida’s 2000 presidential vote-counting problems, mistakenly failed 6,559 public middle-school students in June due to what it later called a computer error. A school official called the total count of students affected “a small number.” • Single-engine pilot Michael Grumbine flew at barely tree-top level over La Serna High School in Whittier, Calif., in May, to drop antiabortion leaflets to students (containing a hip reference to the then-hot movie “The Matrix: Reloaded”), but in mid-flight he accidentally stuck his hand into the propeller blades, severing two fingers and sending the plane into a fall, where it crash-landed, injuring Grumbine. Thinking Outside the Box • Authorities in Phoenix decided to hold the city’s loudest July 4 fireworks show this year adjacent to the complex that houses a Veterans Administration medical center and the state’s military retirement home, even though some residents of the facilities still suffer battlefieldacquired post-traumatic stress disorders. (However, the facilities reported no adverse incidents.) • Sewage-treatment officials in Pittsburgh, wanting to lure crowds to a June showing of their new facilities, thought the best way to attract people was to offer them a picnic of free hamburgers and hot dogs to accompany the demonstration of state-of-the-art raw sewage disposal. (About 300 people attended.) • In March, the double life of wealthy Tampa construction magnate Douglas Cone, 74, began to surface when, following the death of his socialite wife, Jean Ann (with whom he lived Thursdays through Sundays and had three kids), he quickly married his socialite paramour Hillary Carlson (with whom he lived in a second mansion 20 miles away as Donald Carlson, Mondays through Wednesdays, and had two kids). Cone’s money (donated in both his names, though “Mr. Carlson” never appeared in public) and the women’s tireless community service made the “four” of them prominent figures in Tampa. (The consensus among families’ members is that Hillary knew; Jean Ann might not have; and friends and associates did not.) • Wilbur Daniels, 67, faces sentencing in September in Washington, D.C., on his 2002 conviction for defrauding the Dupont Park Seventh-day Adventist Church of $1.3 million, which, as church treasurer, he might have taken in a sincere attempt to invest the church’s money in what turned out to be a Nigerian Internet scam. Prosecutors said Daniels’ earnestness was demonstrated by the fact that he also lost his own life savings in the deal. Least Competent Criminals An inmate tried to escape in August from the parking garage of the jail in St. Charles County, Mo., by dashing through a fire exit door; he seemed unaware that immediately beyond the door was a brick wall, and after the collision, he was taken to a hospital with head injuries. And in Tampa, Fla., in August, one man was arrested and several others sought in a labor-intensive burglary of a Sports Authority store; police estimate that the crew spent a week digging an elaborate 40-foot-long tunnel underneath the store, and once they finally surfaced inside, they apparently got only about $3,500 in athletic shoes and Tampa Bay Bucs jerseys before an early-arriving employee called police. Our Civilization in Decline • The federal government settled with two prestigious Chicago hospitals in July (Northwestern University’s, University of Chicago’s) and filed a claim against another (University of Illinois’), on charges that the three improperly moved their own patients up the national organ-transplant priority list; one UI official allegedly told a doctor that favoring its own patients was “the Chicago way.” And in August, the conviction of a Dallas bookstore manager became final, for selling obscenity in the form of adult science-fiction comic books; the sales were to adults in an adults-only section, but the prosecutor’s main argument about the books’ alleged “danger” was merely that comic books are an art form of general appeal to children. — Chuck Shepherd ©United Press Syndicate Brezsny's Free Will Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19) A study by psychologists at the University of Sussex in Great Britain has found that taking part in protests, demonstrations or strikes is good for you. Interviews with activists revealed that participants experienced a deep sense of happiness and even euphoria in being involved in such events. By my astrological reckoning, this will be especially true for you, Aries, in the coming weeks. If you haven’t already found a constructive channel for your rebellious mojo, start searching now. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) “Both Picasso and T.S. Eliot are credited with saying, ‘Good artists borrow, great artists steal,’” notes music critic Peter Gorman. “Credit it to Picasso and it comes across as bravado, a declaration that great art comes from those who appropriate whatever they damn well please. Credit the quote to Eliot and it seems more like word play; to borrow is to imitate and give back, to steal is to make it one’s own.” Study these tricky assertions about the creative process, Taurus. They should incite provocative meditations as you negotiate a turning point in your relationship with your own fertility. GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Trains in China are divided into two different sections: soft seats and hard seats. “The soft seats are usually where you find the richer, stiffer, better-educated people,” reports Charlotte Temple in DoubleTake magazine. “In the hard-seat section, it’s like a little village. Everyone is eating watermelon seeds, playing games, leaning out windows to buy from the dumpling sellers.” I bring this up, Gemini, because it’s an apt metaphor for the choice you now face. As you travel on to the next phase of your life, the soft seats would provide the greatest comfort, but the most interesting and educational events would unfold in the hard seats. CANCER (June 21-July 22) New York Times Crossword Puzzle You’ve heard of passive smoking, which occurs when the burning cigarette wastes of smokers snake ACROSS 1 Camera setting 5 ___ mai (dim sum dish) 8 Boston fish dish 13 Where a whale may be found? 14 Crush in competition 15 Relinquish 16 Dermatologist’s concern 17 Saragossa’s stream 18 Popular 1990’s sitcom 19 Assistance from a tall librarian? 21 Ready to jump, perhaps 22 Bit of slander 23 Mensa administrations 25 Child actor? 29 Grogshop choice ANSWER TO M I S S M E U N P A I D D R A M R I C O S C O L D S I N C U B F L A L A T O B E H C A O T N E S C D L E U R I N T N K I G E S S N T I U I L I L T E Y S into the lungs of innocent bystanders. Now scientists at the Beauty and Truth Lab have identified a phenomenon they call second-hand depression, wherein victims inadvertently absorb the misery and cynicism of people who are spewing out negative emotions. You Cancerians must be especially careful to protect yourself against that contamination in the coming week. You can’t afford to be poisoned by the lazy blather of out-of-control naysayers. Why? Because you have an astrological mandate to nurture optimistic perceptions and articulate loving strategies that uplift everyone whose life you touch. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) worked 31 “Holy cow!” 63 Piece of gossip 35 Paraphernalia 64 Active ingredient 37 ___-dog (Indian in Off! stray) 65 Puddle’s cause, 39 Welfare, with maybe “the” 66 Closes in court 40 N.F.L. rusher 67 Put in Smith 68 Sampler, of a 43 Major show sort 46 Pasture 47 Husking bee DOWN refreshment? 1 Buck passers? 50 Oleg Cassini 2 “This can’t be had designs on good” her 3 Grimm offering 53 Haunted house 4 End of a sound warning 54 Guide with a 5 Sleeps it off, penlight maybe 55 Ventriloquism? 6 Sling 60 City planner’s 7 Where nothing concern is wrong 61 Prologue 8 One put away follower for the summer 9 It fingers ringers PREVIOUS PUZZLE 10 Tees off L I P F L E S H O N A A O R T A 11 Manifest C O S T S A R S 12 Nicks’ cousins O N T A C T S 14 Moved, as art E V A C U E E 20 Circus S A S T A R R Y performer U N E U E L E N G G L A S S E S 24 Shopping channel S L O A N E O S S A C P A 25 Like Solomon E T I A R A S 26 Skelton’s Kadiddlehopper D I N G S P E C S A S I A S A K E 27 Kinko’s unit M A S S E M I T 28 “Frida” star S K I P S Y N S Salma ___ SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) For almost 60 years, Simon Wiesenthal tracked down Nazis responsible for the Holocaust. His most famous catch was Adolf Eichman, but he also brought more than a thousand other war criminals to justice. He recently retired. “My work is done,” the tireless 94-year-old crusader said. “I found the mass murderers I was looking for. I survived all of them.” I hereby appoint Wiesenthal to be your role model, Sagittarius. The astrological omens suggest that the coming months will be a perfect time for you to home in on a passionate, righteous commitment that will fuel you for years. y 1 2 3 “You’re only given a little spark of madness,” says Robin Williams. “You mustn’t lose it.” His advice is especially apt for you now. To aid your efforts, here are tips on how to keep a healthy level of insanity, by librarian Bonnie Wolf. 1. When people ask you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 2. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim. 3. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 4. Finish all your sentences with “in accordance with the prophecy.” 5. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer. 6. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice. 7. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 8. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.” 9. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I won! I won! Third time this week!” A few years ago the astronomy magazine Sky & Telescope held a contest to replace the name “Big Bang,” which many scientists regarded as too frivolous. This week I propose that you Scorpios carry out a comparable project: Find a new name for the Divine Intelligence. The terms “God” and even “Goddess” have been so abused and overused that we’ve all become numb to them. And given the spiritual opportunities that will be opening up for you in the coming weeks, you can’t afford to have an impaired sensitivity towards the Great Mystery. Here are a few ideas to whet your imagination: Blooming HaHa, Whirl-Zap-Gush, Sublime Cackler, Primal Jokester, Cosmic Wow, Eternal Crucible. The largest meeting of world religious leaders in history was virtually unreported by the media. The top-secret event transpired in 2002, when leading representatives from every major faith gathered in Italy. They issued a “Decalogue for Peace,” which denounced violence committed in the name of God and religion. It also declared, “We commit ourselves to those who suffer poverty and abandonment and who have no voice.” The media deemed many other stories more important than this unprecedented breakthrough, like Mike Tyson getting his boxing license, John Walker Lindh making a court appear62 Where Ibsen LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) On an episode of the TV science fiction show “Stargate SG-1,” friendly aliens called the Asgards come to Earth seeking help from the top-secret government agency with whom they’ve had a working relationship. It seems the super- intelligent, highly evolved Asgards have reached a dead end in their ability to fend off their mortal enemy, the Replicators. They hope their dumb allies, the humans, will be able to find some elementary solution that they themselves are too smart and complicated to think of. The idea works. One of Earth’s top physicists, a simpleton by Asgard standards, dreams up a crude but effective plan. Let this be a teaching tale for you in the coming week, Leo. Trust innocent, uncluttered, amateur solutions. 30 H-dos-O? ance and the Enron hearings beginning. I bring this up, Virgo, because a comparable marvel is unfolding in your own life, and you haven’t noticed it yet. 4 5 6 7 8 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 26 23 27 30 37 41 47 51 12 32 33 34 58 59 38 43 42 39 44 48 45 46 49 53 52 54 55 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 56 57 Puzzle by Paula Gamache 32 City on the 42 Mardi Gras, 33 A.C. or D.C., 44 German toast Rhein e.g. e.g.: Abbr. 51 Not separately 52 Paper ballot waste 45 Brightly colored 56 Like some 36 Threw caution 48 Fruity mixed 57 Listener’s 38 Let off the hook 49 Countless 58 Shut (up) 41 Pines 50 Case studier 59 Clown of renown 34 “Awright!” to the wind PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) You have done without it long enough, Pisces. This state of deprivation can’t go on. Up till now there’s been a certain value in you not having the stuff you’ve been aching for, but as of now its continued absence would begin to have a soul-shriveling effect. Therefore, on behalf of cosmic forces, I hereby authorize you to take all necessary steps, as long as they’re ethical, to get the goodies. You may even resort to the desperate pleading that kids use on their parents to get a beloved treat at the grocery store, including: “I promise to be good,” “I’ll never ask for anything again,” and “I need it!” — © Rob Brezsny You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope 1-900-950-7700 $1.99 per minute • 18 & over • touchtone phone required • C/S 612-373-9785 • www.freewillastrology.com 24 31 36 40 50 11 28 29 35 10 AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) In the coming week, Aquarius, you’re in danger of seeing with your imagination rather than with your eyes; you’ll be tempted to trust the power of your beliefs more than the evidence of your five senses. It is possible to avert that fate, however. To assist you, I’m happy to provide this curmudgeonly prod from journalist H.L. Mencken: “An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.” 21 20 22 25 9 CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) The ozone hole is shrinking and will recover. Current human life expectancy, already at age 84, is steadily increasing. Since 1993, the violent crime rate in the U.S. has decreased by 50 percent. The number of America’s black elected officials has sextupled since 1970. The planet is steadily becoming more free: 89 democratic countries control 89 percent of the world’s GDP (Gross Domestic Product). Birthrates for teenagers are at the lowest levels in over 60 years. Charitable giving by individuals increased 180 percent between 1960 and 2000. Worldwide, the percentage of children enrolled in secondary education has more than doubled since 1970. In other words, Capricorn, life on earth is much better than everyone assumes. Inspired by my shocking evidence, compose a similar list of everything that’s going really well for you. food fish drink coffee response For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.20 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554. Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. Online subscriptions: Today's puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/crosswords ($34.95 a year). Crosswords for young solvers: The Learning Network, nytimes.com/learning/xwords. THANK YOU For Supporting Our Advertisers 51 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 52 M E T R O EART OF AUGUSTA F THE H EST N I IVA S L ART S P I R I T Sept. 19-21, 2003 GLOBAL STAGE S E P T Augusta Common www.augustaarts.com 1 1 No Pets or Coolers! 2 0 0 3 Safe Homes of Augusta, Inc. The Domestic Violence Intervention Center presents Ronda Rich Author of “What Southern Women Know” and ”My Life in the Pits” her story of life on the NASCAR circuit. As keynote speaker at our Annual Dinner September 24, 2003 • 6:00 pm The Pinnacle Club • Tickets: $40 For information call 736-2499 Sponsored by: Proctor&Gamble Life is hectic. Weekends shouldn't have to be. Join Scott Simon for Weekend Edition every Saturday at 8:00 AM on WACG, 90.7 FM. Reclaim your Saturday and hear weekend news, views, and commentary. From gardening tips and film reviews to in-depth news analysis, Peabody Award-winning host Scott Simon eases you into the weekend with a fresh I met a guy whose job brings him to my city every two weeks. He took me to dinner, held my hand, kissed me, and asked me for another date (in two weeks, when he's back). The problem is, he hasn't been calling in the interim. I'm not satisfied with a casual "see you if and when I'm there." I already feel devalued in the rest of my life, and I don't need that from yet another person. Shouldn't a man who's truly interested in me have some interest in getting to know me on the phone? — The Silent Treatment This is a problem? An insult? Okay, maybe you'd like a boyfriend, but does every story have to be a romantic epic, with Romeo and Juliet offing themselves in the end? Can't you and he just be two extras in some romantic comedy, exchanging some light banter, then exiting through separate doors in the set? If not, step aside, because women are already lining up to audition for a chance to be "devalued" just like you were. (Either that, or somebody's reshooting the part from "The Ten Commandments" when the Israelites crossed the Red Sea.) You wouldn't want to be one of those people who bolts up in bed after a year or two in a relationship, wondering where "the magic" went, and struggling to remember fun. No, you prefer to eliminate the lengthy waiting period, and cut right to shrill and demanding before you've even had a second date. Do you and this guy have a future together? You do have a future dinner. Why not go out with him and see what transpires? Dating is supposed to be a process of discovery, not a way to lock in a man like an interest rate. At least, that's the way girls who feel good about themselves see it. Girls who think the world is staring down at them through dirt-colored glasses feel differently. You, for example, confuse boyfriends with plug-in air fresheners — just the thing to plug into your life to mask the stink of "I'm Worthless!" with "Mango Madness" or "Knotty Pine." That said, there are men who can actually help you feel better about yourself. They're called therapists, and they rent by the 55-minute hour. Some might even be willing to get to know you, at length, on the phone. Still, many therapists, like many people, favor in-person conversations, perhaps because they include handy visual cues that one's audience is going comatose with boredom. (On the phone, there's only that final thud of the body and the clatter of the receiver hitting the floor.) Causing this is a common fear; especially common in anyone who isn't a shoe-in for their own HBO comedy special. In other words, this guy could be very interested in you, yet very uninterested in talking to you — or anyone — on the phone. In short, maybe he’s not a phone person! Of course, maybe he's not a girlfriend person either. Right now, all you know is that the guy seems to enjoy wining, dining and kissing you. After proposing to my girlfriend of two years (she said yes!), I came home early and overheard her telling her sister the ring was "nice," but "not really her style." Ouch. My feelings are a little hurt, but I want her to have a ring she's happy with. Since I'm not supposed to know she isn't altogether pleased, how do I broach the subject? — Diamond Buyer in the Rough There are women who can look at another woman from 1,000 paces and know whether her shoes are Jimmy Choos or Manolos. They're called "fashionistas." There are men, too, who have this ability. They're called transvestites. If you aren't one of them, why pile on the self-pity because you're a failure as your girlfriend's style guru? You might, instead, consider yourself lucky for getting the chance to redeem yourself — along with that "nice" ring. Explain to your girlfriend that you were, um, "gemologically conflicted" when you bought it. Ask if she'd mind checking out the rocks you didn't choose to make sure she's happiest with the rock you did. (It's best to prep the jewelry store beforehand so they don't bring out "Breakfast at Tiffany's" when your budget is a little more "Snack in the Food Court at the Mall.") Ultimately, it's the thought that counts — on both ends: your coming up with a ring and thoughtfully accessorizing it with a proposal; her preferring to live with a ring she doesn't love to keep from hurting the man she does. The bottom line is that she loves you enough to spend the rest of her life with you. It's clear she's willing to make sacrifices to that end, but it's best if wearing ugly jewelry isn't one of them. © 2003, Amy Alkon Photo of Scott Simon by Lisa Berg perspective. Got A Problem? Call us at (800) 654-3038 or visit us at www.gpb.org for more information about our programming. Write Amy Alkon 171 Pier Ave., Box 280 • Santa Monica, CA 90405 • e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com 53 M E T R O S P I R I T To become a member, call 1-888-223-7044 To listen and respond to ads, call 1-900-226-8908 Calls cost $1.99 per min., Must be 18+. ,call 1-866-832-4685 To respond to ads using a ATTENTION! Your military date is in Augusta. SF seeks military male, 29-45, with good sense of humor, good values/qualities. No abusers. Race open. Children ok. Will answer all. ☎334255 ENVELOPING EMBRACE Kind-hearted SBCF, 52, non-smoker, enjoys dining out, attending church. Seeking loving SBCM, 52-65, with similar interests. ☎287845 FIRST TIME AD! Employed SBF, 35, no children, wants to meet a laid-back, spontaneous man, 33-41, race unimportant, to get to know as a friend and maybe progress to more! ☎280007 BE MY FRIEND Attractive SWF, 29, 5'7", 129lbs, brown/brown, N/S, no kids, never married, seeks SWM, 20-37, in shape, friendship first, possible LTR. ☎945103 GOOD GIRL Attractive SWF, 38, 5'4", 145lbs, blonde/hazel, N/S, Pisces, enjoys outdoors. Seeking tall SWM, 30-42. ☎864247 COMPANIONSHIP DWF, 48, enjoys antiquing, travel, dining out, movies and more. Seeking DWM, 48-58, for loving, tender relationship. ☎732056 LEO SBF, 31, wants to share quality time with a man who loves movies, dining out, quiet times, for friendship. ☎202217 A GOOD-HEARTED WOMAN Honest SWF, 5'4", long dark brown/hazel, would like to meet a trustworthy SWM for a good, honest, open relationship. I smoker, so another smoker is preferred. Grovetown. ☎111411 SEEKING CHRISTIAN WOMAN Friendly, committed, independent SBCM, 43, 5'11", enjoys quiet evenings. Seeking attractive, committed, independent SBCF for friendship, possible LTR. ☎796760 WAITING FOR YOU SBM, 19, with a brown complexion, wants to meet a woman who is through with games, for the fun stuff of life. ☎656637 ALL EARS SBM, 26, Gemini, N/S, very outgoing, loves working out, easygoing, loves to have fun, seeks outgoing woman, 19-31, who likes to have fun. ☎654007 We Purchase Fine Swiss Watches, Estate Jewelry and Diamonds. Monday-Saturday 10am-9pm 2635 Washington Road | Augusta, Georgia 30904 | 706.738.7777 www.windsorjewelers.net OUT OF THE ORDINARY SWM, 21, smoker, likes Nelly, break dancing, ideal date would be dinner followed by something out of the ordinary, such as time at the shooting range, seeks SBF, for LTR. ☎651750 MAKE ME LAUGH SWM, 19, 5'10", 165lbs, dark features, goodlooking, seeks very outgoing woman who can adapted to most any situation, possible relationship. ☎631029 COMPANIONSHIP SBM, 34, enjoys cooking, dining out, movies, sports and more. Please consider me for a candidate for a relationship with you. Don't miss this opportunity. Call! ☎619405 HELLO LADIES SM, 51, enjoys fishing, travel, movies, quiet moments. Seeking attractive, nice, ambitious, open-minded, non-judgemental SF, with big heart, who loves the lord, to share friendship, good times and possibly love. ☎620256 WORTH A TRY SWM, 21, seeks SF, 20-30, who loves having fun, has a good personality and is looking for a lasting relationship. ☎622681 MAYBE IT'S YOU? SM, 36, 5'11", enjoys working out, auto racing and car shows, mountains, beaches and more. Seeking easygoing, honest, fun-loving SF to share these with, friendship first, possible LTR. ☎625970 FROM THE HEART Handsome, outgoing, fun, young-looking SWM, 42, Virgo, N/S, seeks WF, 34-46, who likes to go out and is very nice. ☎605027 LOOKING FOR YOU Handsome SBM, 27, 5'8", Aries, non-smoker, seeks woman, 24-33, non-smoker, who is independent and likes to have fun. ☎596431 HANDY MAN Medium-built, tolerant, clean, financially secure DWM, 48, 5'10", Aquarius, smoker, with a good sense of humor, enjoys cooking, house work, gardening, reading, music, cuddling. Seeking woman, 20-54, for long-term relationship. ☎607612 MUTUAL RESPECT SWM, 28, 5', brown/blue, Sagittarius, N/S, loves line dancing, shooting pool, and long walks. Seeking WF, 18-35, N/S, goodnatured and good-hearted. ☎583044 FLEXIBLE AS A RUBBER HOSE DWM, 56, Leo, smoker, enjoys traveling, and partaking of the area restaurants seeks WF, 45-55, with an agreeable disposition. ☎583222 EASYGOING ALL-AROUND SBPM, 6'2", 196lbs, educated, very secure, Leo, N/S, loves romantic moments, live music, and family time. Seeking BF, 28-42, N/S. ☎583499 EVERYDAY MAN SBM, 19, 5'7", very outspoken, very outgoing, all ears, Capricorn, N/S, seeks BF, 1828, N/S, for movies and mall shopping. ☎585897 DELICATE HANDLING DWM, 27, 5'4", Libra, N/S, does glass work, non-custodial dad, seeks a serious WF, 2035, N/S, to settle down with. ☎589673 COUNTRY DAD Male, 39, 6', 205lbs, sandy brown hair, with 2 children, Gemini, seeks and outgoing country woman, 28-45. ☎578137 COLLEGE-EDUCATED SWM, 51, 6'1", 193lbs, with blue eyes and a laid-back attitude, seeks a woman with a spontaneous, creative spirit. ☎434997 Stud Finder YOU HAVE 6 NEW MATCHES I'D LIKE TO HEAR... what you have to say. SBF, 18, 5'5", darkskinned, pretty, Aries, N/S, enjoys shopping, vacations, and movies. Seeking a man, 2028. ☎578781 OUTGOING WF, 50s, 5'5", 150lbs, brunette, likes dining out, dancing, cooking, interior decorating, more. Give me a call. ☎443130 BEACH BUM SBF, 31, with bachelor's degree in communications, Taurus, N/S, loves dining out, movies, working out, and reading. Seeking man, 26-36. ☎869451 SOUTHERN BELL SBF, 50, with a pretty face, wants to meet a BCM, who loves to dance, shop and needs more fun in life. ☎660334 NICE EVENINGS Attractive SBF, 35, enjoys nice evenings, conversation, seeking loving SBM, 30-37, for nice evenings. ☎400597 SINGLE MOM Plus-sized female, 29, 5'3", brown/hazel, cute, independent, enjoys conversation, movies, dining out. Seeking a man with a life of his own and would like to share mine as well. ☎634069 WHOLE LOTTA LOVE SBF, 33, would like to share movies, dinners, quiet evenings at home, the usual dating activities, with a great guy. ☎463610 LIGHT UP MY LIFE Beautiful BF, 60, 5'11", with a brown complexion, N/S, N/D, has lots of love and passion to share with a SBM, who goes to church. ☎383766 OLD-FASHIONED VALUES Honest, relaxed, christian SBF, 56, Aries, N/S, enjoys cooking, dining out, quiet times at home. Seeking marriage-minded, financially secure SBM, 50-56, N/S, for LTR. ☎829149 FIRST TIME AD Attractive SBF, 27, light-complected Pisces, non-smoker, seeks BM, 26-30, non-smoker, who is honest and interested in a long-term relationship. ☎603443 YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO SBF, 39, Leo, N/S, seeks BM, 38-45, downto-earth, very direct and straightforward, to have fun with. ☎582549 LEASING W/OPTION TO BUY SBF, 30, fun, outgoing, romantic Pisces, N/S, enjoys song writing, music, traveling, and conversation. Seeking man, 30-50, for friendship and more. ☎567142 LOOKING FOR LOVE SWF, 24, blonde/brown, attractive, compassionate, easygoing, desires SWM, 24-34, honest, open-minded for friendship and companionship. ☎323553 MORE THAN AVERAGE Slender SBF, 53, 5'2", independent, Aries, smoker, loves music, conversation, laughter. Seeking independent, mature SBM, 48-65, for friendship first. ☎369627 RAINY DAYS AND COOKING... are a few of my delights. DBF, 38, 5'5", 125lbs, pecan tan complexion, laid-back, down-to-earth, Aquarius, smoker, N/D, seeks BM, 30-45. ☎569952 JUST BE THERE FOR ME SBF, 23, 5'2", Pisces, N/S, enjoys traveling. Seeking a romantic WM, 25-31, N/S, for LTR. ☎576613 MAKE YOUR OWN DESTINY Loving, intelligent SBF, 34, seeks SBM, 3545, for companionship, long walks, movies, dining out and more. ☎550597 SEEKING DECENT MAN SBCF, 32, Cancer, N/S, CNA, likes having fun, going to the movies, eating out, fishing, looking for decent man, 25-45, N/S, who is hardworking and will treat her with respect. ☎544912 SINGLE MOM SEEKING SBF, 20, Gemini, N/S, mother of twins, likes going to the park, spending time with family, going to the mall, movies, seeks compatible SBM, 18-35, N/S. ☎532672 GREAT PERSONALITY SWF, 45, 5'2", blonde/blue, likes cooking, bowling, movies, travel. Seeking affectionate, caring, compassionate SM, N/S, financially secure, for dating, possible LTR. ☎525164 WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE? SWF, 48, Cancer, N/S, seeks WM, 40-56, who wants to have a great relationship. Why not give me a call? You never know. ☎511453 BIG HEART, BIG BRAIN? Creative, expressive SF, 41, graphic artist, loves the country, with passion for gardening, nature, flora/fauna, needlework( knitting, crochet, quilting). Seeking creative, spiritual man, to share hopes, dreams, desires. ☎483300 MAYBE YOU'RE THE 1 SBF, 30, 5'7", brown complexion, auburn/brown, thick, seeks independent, loving SM, who's fun, active, commitment-minded, a handyman type, to share romance, fun, friendship and a possible lasting relationship. ☎488232 ARIES/TAURUS DWCF, 52, 5'4", brown/green, likes the beach, playing pool, sailing, flea markets, dining, movies at home, stargazing. Looking for tall, honest, kind, affectionate, Christian man, 39-58. Let's adore each other. ☎479572 ALL I WANT IS YOU SB mom, 28, is in search of a man, 25-45, who would want to start off as friends, leading into more. ☎459939 DON'T PASS ME BY SHF, 18, 5'1", 126lbs, short/brown, would like to meet a guy for bowling, dancing and romance. ☎463061 LOVES TO LAUGH Attractive SWF, 19, 5'9", Libra, smoker, seeks WM, 18-35, for a solid, good, honest friendship leading towards LTR. ☎455393 LOOKING FOR YOU SWF, 37, 5'6", Scorpio, N/S, enjoys mountains, bowling, the beach and music. Seeking WM, 35-48, N/S, to be a companion, friend. ☎456544 WIDOWED SENIOR WF, honest, neat appearance, good sense of humor, seeking WM, 55-75, honest, caring. ☎449726 NO INTRO NEEDED SBCF, 26, 5'4", 130lbs, single parent of a 7year-old son, very independent, Gemini, N/S, seeks BM, 27-40, to be my friend. ☎432010 SEARCHING FOR MR RIGHT SBPF, 39, Libra, loves church, traveling, movies, and dining out. Seeking SBPM, 3760, for possible LTR. ☎421273 A SPECIAL SOMEONE SBF, 25, mother, seek financially stable, independent man, 20-45, who loves children, for LTR . ☎415803 STILL SEARCHING SWF, 47, 5'8", 148lbs, Sagittarius, smoker, interests vary, seeks SWM, 37-48, for LTR. ☎342017 Mobile Dating. The easiest way to meet great people. GUIDELINES: DATE MAKER ads are for adults 18 or over seeking monogamous relationships. To ensure your safety, carefully screen all responses. First meetings should occur in a public place. Abbreviations are permitted only to indicate gender preference, race, and religion. We suggest your ad contain a self-description, age range, lifestyle and avocations. Ads and voice messages containing explicit sexual language will not be accepted. This publication reserves the right to revise copy containing objectionable phrases; to reject in its sole discretion, any advertisement on account of its text. This publication assumes no responsibility for the content or reply to any DATE MAKER ad. The advertiser assumes complete liability for the content and all replies to any advertisement or recorded message and for any claims made against this publication and its agents as a result thereof. The advertiser agrees to indemnify and hold this publication, its employees and its agents harmless from all costs, expenses (including reasonable attorney fees), liabilities and damages resulting from or caused by the publication or recording placed by the adver- a service of tiser or any reply to any such advertisement. By using DATE MAKER, the advertiser agrees not to leave his/her phone number, last name or address in his/her voice greeting. Not all boxes contain a voice greeting. ABBREVIATIONS To purchase more than your free 30 words, at $2.00 per word, please call 1-800-234-5120 M B D F H C LTR Male Black Divorced Female Hispanic Christian Long-term Relationship G W A S J P N/D N/S Gay White Asian Single Jewish Professional Non-Drinker Non-smoker Become a member of Augusta’s hottest new way to meet singles! Call today! S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 To become a member, call 1-888-223-7044 To listen and respond to ads, call 1-900-226-8908 54 M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1 2 0 0 3 Calls cost $1.99 per min., Must be 18+. ,call 1-866-832-4685 To respond to ads using a SUMMER FUN SWM, 60, self-employed, enjoys casinos, reading, travel, sports. Seeking SWF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. Serious inquiries only. ☎556936 NEW TO AREA SBM, 30, 5'7", medium build, caramel skin, Gemini, smoker, works in health care field. Seeking BF, 25-35, sure of herself. ☎568136 FUN AND ROMANTIC DWM, 36, 6'1", Gemini, N/S, likes talking, movies, exercising, and traveling. Seeking woman, 21-45, N/S, in shape, for romance. ☎573045 HEART OF GOLD SWM, 31, 6'3", 210lbs, brown/blue, enjoys reading, movies, travel, sports. Seeking outgoing, attractive SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎556440 LOOKING FOR MS. RIGHT SWM, 37, 5'9", 180lbs, enjoys biking, sports, travel, dining out. Seeking outgoing, attractive SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎557954 NEW TO AREA SBM, 5'3", 185lbs, enjoys travel, working out, sports, music, reading. Seeking attractive, outgoing SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎559583 ARE YOU THE ONE? SBM, 34, 5'10", 170lbs, enjoys bowling, movies, travel, dining out, reading. Seeking positive, active woman to enjoy life with. ☎561078 SUN AND FUN SWM, 43, 5'7", 160lbs, medium build, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, dancing. Seeking SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎558039 OUTDOORSMAN SWM, 19, Capricorn, N/S, landscape architect, likes sporting events, movies, fishing, hunting, anything outdoors, seeks SWF, 1825, N/S, similar interests, who is outgoing, likes to have fun. ☎541345 SOMETHING TO ADD? SBM, 42, Gemini, N/S, 6', enjoys going out, romance, seeks SWF, 25-40, N/S, who will have something to add to a relationship. ☎546480 READ ON SWM, 29, Pisces, N/S, 6'3", 235lbs, athletic, likes the outdoors, playing sports, watching sports, going out to eat, watching movies. Seeks SWF, 23-35, N/S, for dating. ☎549310 ONE-IN-A-MILLION SBM, 19, Sagittarius, N/S, 5'9", braids, gray eyes, medium build, likes to have a good time, seeks compatible woman, 18-30. ☎531369 SEEKING FUN SHF SWM, 26, smoker, 5'11", 195lbs, former military, security guard, will be joining police academy, likes to hang out, go to bars, have good time. Seeks SHF, 18-32, for fun, dating. ☎534532 SEEKING NATURALIST SM, 50, 5'11", 163lbs,enjoys travel, fine dining, swimming, the arts. Seeking adventurous, attractive, fit SF, with similar interests, to explore the world with. ☎516833 TAKE ME AS I AM SWM, 31, 5'6", medium build, brown/blue, Gemini, N/S, enjoys movies and more. Seeking SWF, 25-35, N/S, N/D, who enjoys good times, dating, for LTR. ☎341418 NO GAMES HERE SBM, 36, brown/brown, long distance truck driver, Aries, smoker, seeks honest W/HF, 30-36, smoker, who likes to travel and is looking for LTR. ☎509226 THANK YOU VERY MUCH SWM, 25, 5'9", 164lbs, brown/hazel, told he looks like Elvis Presley, Rick Nelson, and one of the Everly Brothers, enjoys fishing, history, art. Seeking WF, 19-26, N/S. ☎508305 WELL-ROUNDED MAN Educated DBPM, 41, 5'11", loves reading, working out, the arts, dining out, travel, quiet times. Would like to meet female, 30-45, with similar interests, for fun, friendship, and maybe more. ☎442021 LET'S HOOK UP 34-year-old SBM, 5'9", 180lbs, Aquarius, nurse, bald head, new to area, open-minded, fun-loving, hopeless romantic. Seeking woman who loves to be romanced. ☎849401 A LITTLE TLC DWM, 47, hardworking, secure, seeks SWF, 35-46, who wants a LTR. ☎627154 YOU WIN MY HEART SWM, 44, N/S, seeks clean, sincere, honest, intelligent, wise, crafty SBF, 35-45, N/S, for life mate and deep friendship. ☎611238 ARE YOU THE ONE? SWM, 34, 6'1", 195lbs dark blond/blue, goatee, enjoys quiet nights home, going out with friends, travel. Looking for masculine, easygoing SW/HM, 18-38, for casual dates, possible LTR. ☎502698 COULD IT BE YOU AND ME? GWM, 24, enjoys quiet evenings, movies, quiet evenings at home, dining out. Seeking fun, outgoing GM, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎471342 SPRINGTIME BLOOM SWM, 33, with an education in business, seeks a man who loves country music, karaoke, Springtime, and making a connection with a good person. ☎659296 ROAM IF YOU WANT TO SWM, 42, loves cool weather and the renewal of Spring. Seeking a man who is strong both physically and emotional. ☎661792 MASCULINE AND FIT SWM, 39, Libra, smoker, 5'8", brown/brown, masculine, works out, fit, likes movies, riding bikes, camping, cooking, time at home. Seeks SWM, 30-43, with similar interests. ☎545309 TAKE A CHANCE GWM, 43, 6'2", 195lbs, black brown, seeks other GWM, for fun times and maybe something more. ☎493530 SEA OF LOVE SWM, 29, Pisces, smoker, 5'7", 175lbs, swims like a fish, likes water-skiing, bowling, movies, time at home, seeks compatible SWM, 30-40, for LTR. ☎647347 LET'S MEET FOR COFFEE Good-looking GWM, 36, 6', 200lbs, muscular, tan, enjoys working out, yard work, spending time with my dogs. Looking for attractive SM, 32-48, for dating, maybe leading to LTR. ☎436231 LOOKING FOR LOVE Outgoing, spontaneous, loving, down-to earth SBM, 24, Sagittarius, non-smoker, seeks man, 19-50, to date and enjoy life. ☎602634 LOOKING FOR LOVE GWM, 41, 5'8', 140lbs, Pisces, enjoys fishing, television, wood working, gardening, arts, crafts. Seeking GWM, 25-45, for friendship first, possible LTR. ☎705204 GREAT PERSONALITY SBM, 18, 6'3", 220lbs, masculine build, seeking SBM, 18-29, very masculine, energetic, fun-loving, to go out for dinners, walks and more. ☎627150 RELAXING AT HOME SBM, 35, Virgo, N/S, likes relaxing at home, fun, concerts, trips going to the beach. Seeks fun, spontaneous SBM, 26-37, N/S. ☎532700 A NEW START Retired, fit, outgoing GWM, 44, enjoys walks, movies, sports, reading. Seeking outgoing GM, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎527836 How do you BOY NEXT DOOR SAM, 27, 5'9", 147lbs, Sagittarius, smoker, seeks WM, 25-45, who enjoys fun times and a true friendship. ☎456425 ME IN A NUTSHELL WM, 18, brown/blue, medium build, looking for fun, outgoing, energetic guy, 18-30, for movies, hanging out, quiet evenings at home, and more. Friends first, maybe becoming serious. ☎425471 LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP Senior SWM seeks sincere, honest SWM, 25-45, to share home and lifestyle. Many interests including gardening, cooking, arts and crafts, travel, camping. ☎294303 ENJOYS ALL THAT LIFE HAS GWM, 40, shaved head, goatee, Pisces, smoker, seeks very special, attractive, strong, fun-loving GBM, 30-50, for dating, possible LTR. ☎257126 YOU CAN MAKE MY DAY Male, 60, Cancer, N/S, seeks a WM, 49-65, N/S, for casual relationship. Why not call me? ☎927707 ENJOYS BOWLING SBF, 32, Gemini, N/S, 5'3", 145lbs, mother of one, enjoys movies, the mall, dining, going out to eat, bowling, quiet times at home, seeks woman, 21-38, for friendship, possible romance. ☎646271 BEAUTIFUL AND FEMININE GWF, 32, 5'7", 135lbs, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports, music, movies. Seeking GWF, 25-39, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎329063 GIVE ME A TRY GWF, 27, 5'7", 150lbs, brown/blue, enjoys dancing, movies, travel, conversation. Seeking attractive, warm GF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎553580 LOOKING FOR LOVE GBF, 19, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports. Seeking GF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎554721 WAITING FOR YOU GWF, 18, 5'4", blonde/blue, enjoys music, movies, animals, travel, dining out. Seeking outgoing, honest GF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎527575 IS IT YOU? SGF, 42, soft stud, loves movies, cuddling, traveling, plays, comedy. Seeking feminine Christian female, compassionate and understanding, with like interests, to share friendship, good times and maybe something more. ☎487095 SEEKING A RELATIONSHIP GBF, 24, enjoys dancing, sports, movies, music, quiet evenings. seeks goal-oriented GPF, 24-33, who knows what she wants. ☎474251 HAVE A GOOD TIME SB mom of two, 35, wishes to spend time, conversations, friendship and life with a great lady. ☎458794 WHY WAIT? SWF, 38, 5'6",140lbs, short brown hair, easygoing, enjoys playing golf, the beach. Seeking feminine female, 20-40, to have fun times and more. ☎448489 LOVES CHILDREN Easygoing, nice SF, 32, looking for someone with the same qualities, 29-39, and a people person. ☎388943 OPEN-MINDED CHIC Broken-hearted GWF, 30, Libra, smoker, seeks woman, 20-45, to mend my heart. Let's not be afraid of who we are. ☎370110 "EVERYONE'S BEST FRIEND" GWF, 26, 5'6", medium build, likes watching movies, bowling, hanging out, malls, phone conversations. Seeking fun-loving, seriousminded GWF, 22-35, medium build, for friendship and possibly more. ☎335046 A REFRESHING CHANGE SWF, 30, Libra, smoker, is hoping to find it in a woman, 25-45. Will show a lot of a affection. ☎307177 FALL FEVER SWPF, 46, 5'6", 129lbs, college graduate, enjoys reading , home movies, camping, country-living, seeks same in SWF, 45-50. ☎965910 LOOKING FOR LOVE SBF, 32, 140lbs, 5'8", down-to-earth, likes clubs, movies, and quiet times. Looking for a female, 30-35, with the same interests. If you're the one, call me. Aiken, South Carolina. ☎113533 I WON'T LET YOU DOWN Single GBF, 32, mother, non-smoker, looking to become acquainted with a laid-back, sensual GBF, who enjoys quiet times, movies. Interested? ☎910581 Stand Out in a crowd. [without looking like this] Express yourself by adding an icon to your ad. rYIN FOR MY YANG Adventurous SM, 28, 5’11’, buddhist who is into yoga, meditation and jujitsu Seeking female counterpart who knows all my pressure points. ☎64764 To insert your icon call 1-800-252-0920 See our catalog of new icons at www.personalsicons.com © 2003 TPI GROUP To pay for our services using a check, call 1-800-252-0920 Phone Text Messages E-Mail Choose any phone number, home, office or your cellular phone! Text message sent on your digital pager or on your cell phone. Give us your e-mail address and we’ll do the rest. want us to contact you? Respond to ads on this page by calling 1-900-226-8908. Classifieds 55 Call 738-1142 to place your Classified ad today! Alt. Lifestyles Help Wanted Private Investigator If You’re not Partying at Argos, The Tower of Argos or at The Shack… Managers Needed National Roll-out Fresh Air - Wind Energy The Enzyme Diet Will train 1-888-681-5090 www.ma ximumsuccess.com/aanderson (09/28#8199) R AY WILLIAMSON & ASSOCIATES Private Investigations 17 years experience Domestic Relations and Child Custody Cases Licensed and Bonded in Georgia & Carolina 706-854-9672 or 706-854-9678 fa x (09/11#8207) 1923 Walton Way Open Mon-Fri for Happy Hour @ 6:00pm with $1 off everything Every Fri & Sat Garage Party from 9-10 with all well & draft drinks only $1 Wed Blue Party w/ Guest DJ “BJ” Trippin & Rollin Light Show 30 Free CDS Thu Karaoke Dance Party with DJ Joe Steel Fri Sasha No Holds Barred Talk Show Sat Argos Angels Cabaret The Shack ... You’ll Be Back Monday-Sunday Happy Hour from 4pm-12 midnight $2 Long necks $3 Wells Fri DJ Chip Sat DJ Buckwheat Sun Karaoke 8-12 with DJ Joe Fri, Sept. 26 Goth Night Fri, Oct. 3 Rocky Horror Picture Show Fri, Oct. 17 Billy Dare & The Pumps Fri, Oct. 24 Turnabout, Argos Nights on Broadway Argos welcomes Gay, Lesbian, Bi, BDSM, Swingers, TVTS & all openminded patrons Call us @ 481-8829 or email us at ClubArgos@aol.com Turn Your “Trash” Into Cash! Sell your unwanted items or advertise your garage or yard sale in Metro Spirit Classifieds. Call 738-1142 We accept VISA or Mastercard. *And remember ... one person’s trash is another man’s treasure. WOLFF TANNING BEDS AFFORDABLE • CONVIENENT Tan At Home Payments From $25/month FREE Color-Catalog Call Today 1-800-842-1305 (09/11#8131) Mind, Body & Spirit Full Body Massage! Therapeutic tension relief, intense or tender touch, rela xing music, aromatherapy, by appointment only - $49.00/hr. Call Joy - 706-771-9470 or John - 706-868-5598 (09/11#8206) (803) 441-0053 425 Carolina Springs Rd North Augusta, SC Center Manager Join the nation’s premier women’s health organization. Planned Parenthood is looking for an RN or Healthcare Administrator with ex tensive experience in clinic or surgical practice management. Strong leadership and clinic management skills required. Commitment to quality care, customer service and women’s health a must. Competitive salary and benefits. Fa x resume and cover let ter to 404-688-0621, At tention MD, EOE. (09/11#8201) R E A D I N G S Mrs. Graham, Psychic Reader, Advises on all affairs of life, such as love, marriage, and business. She tells your past, present and future. Mrs. Graham does palm, tarot card, and Chakra balancing. She specializes in relationships and reuniting loved ones. 341 S. Belair Rd. Open from 9 a.m. til 9 p.m. Call (706) 733-5851 ••••• thank you • • • • • ••••• FOR SUPPORTING OUR ADVERTISERS 2 0 0 3 Metropolitan Community Church of Our Redeemer A Christian Church reaching to all: including Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered Christians. Meeting at 311 Seventh Street, 11 am and 7 pm each Sunday. 722-6454 MCCAugusta@aol.com www.mccoor.com Wheels Dead Bodies Wanted We want your dead junk or scrap car bodies. We tow away and for some we pay. 706/829-2676 OR 706/798-9060 www.metrospirit.com AUGUSTA HOME MAINTENANCE *Find business to make your Home beautiful! *Home Maintenance business List and get found! augustahomemaintenance.com 706-364-2944 (10/23#8200) MRS. GRAHAM C A R D 1 1 Services READINGS BY Come have fun where the party doesn’t end! Employment Religion www.metrospirit.com Her showcast is not just Drag it’s pure talent. Come let us entertain you. Show starts at 12:30am. ... You’re Not Partying VIRTUAL SENTRY Watch any location from remote sight over phone line or cell. Record activity with hidden cameras. Digital video recorders, cameras, and more. Call 706-564-5819 or 706-564-7714 for more info. (09/11#8195) Free Audio Tape Cancer, Fibroidmyalgia, Chronic Fatigue and other Chronic illnesses, there is hope. Free audio tape. Call 877-672-6512 (toll free) (10/02#8212) Poor Water Drainage? • French Drains • Gutter Drains • Catch Basins • Erosion Control • Waterproofing • Crawl Space GUARANTEED SOLUTIONS S P I R I T S E P T Professional Services Equipment Sasha Sundays COMING EVENTS * 59 People needed to lose weight! All natural, doctor recommended 100% Guaranteed Call for free sample, 706-284-7650 (09/11#8171) SPECIAL READINGS WITH CARD Club Argos Dance Club & The Tower of Argos Leather Bar Augusta’s Premier Progressive House Dance & Entertainment Zone with DJ Joe Steel. Travel M E T R O Visit www.metrospirit.com today to place your free personal ad LICENSED • INSURED 706-869-9988 www.sundownconstruction.com Call 738-1142 to place your Classified ad! Power Lunch Savannah Rock Shrimp Chowder 4 Smoked Salmon Terrine with Whole Grain Mustard, Haricot Vert and Shallot Salad 8 Roasted Turkey Croissant Sandwich with French Brie, Cape Cod Cranberry Spread, and Roasted Red Potato Salad 7 Warm Grilled Eggplant Muffuletta Sandwich with Olives, Artichoke Hearts, Tomatoes, Basil, Field Greens and a Roasted Garlic Ricotta Spread, Served with pasta salad 7 437 Highland Ave, Surrey Center 706.737.6699 â€˘ Fax 706.733.8644 Mon-Sat Lunch & Dinner Garlic and Rosemary rubbed Sirloin Steak served over Tomato and Olive Bruscetta, and a Balsamic Glaze 9