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EVENTS CALENDAR

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SLAB MATT’S MUSIC

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Contributors Greg Baker|Sam Eifling |Kristin Hawkins |Rhonda Jones nes |Austin Rhodes|Josh Ruffin|M Ruffin|Mat Ruffin|Matt Stone|Adam Wadding|Jenny Wrig Wright

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INSIDER RUFFIN’ IT AUSTIN RHODES

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Metro Spirit is a freee newspaper published publis weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks eks a year. Editorial coverage includes local ocal al issues and news, arts, arts entertainment, entert people, places and pectrum. The he views do not necessarily represent present the views of the th publisher. publish Visit us at metrospirit.com. m.© events. In our paperr appear views from across the political and social spectrum. ner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permissio p person, perso please. 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: permission is prohibited. One copy per

CONTENTS

Operation Thunder: State program to work with Sheriff’s Office to make roads safer

EricJohnson|news editor eric@themetrospirit.com

GabrielVega|lead designer gabe@themetrospirit.com

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AmyChristian|arts editor/production director amy@themetrospirit.com

JoeWhite|publisher joe@themetrospirit.com

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o r t e m IRIT SP

Michael-RKQVRQ_VLJKWLQJV‡Valerie(PHULFN_ZULWHU‡Amy3HUNLQV_HGLWRULDOLQWHUQ‡Laura3HUU\_YROXQWHHU‡KristinHawkins|editorial intern

WHINELINE

stations of record to give anyone a ladder up. you had years to flub through,floating around on low expectations and rush’s tailwinds.

Rhodes. I smell a primma donna urination contest.

was going to keep paying our debts forever? We would have had plenty of money for Hey, this is Augusta, GA! I’m sick of you Republicans health care if “W” wasn’t so Where polyester never went whining about the tax busy “spreading democracy” out of style! increases. Who did you think and spending all our money I challenge the person who was going to pay for the TWO on guns and bombs. You my dog’s got more sense WARS “W” got us into. Most got only yourself to blame if than Austin Rhodes. staying thinks we roller derby girls are elephants to a 50 mile of you were in favor of the you voted for that imbecile! in the same place is not a wars, so this is what you Remember...he inherited a badge of honor. it’s augusta. bike ride. Then I will leg wrestle them into submission. get. Wars are expensive, if budget surplus from Clinton it’s not like there are any you haven’t figured that out and managed to turn it into others nipping at your heels. a TRILLION DOLLAR DEBT IN because there are no other Richard Roundtree vs. Austin yet. Did you all think China

SO TWEET!

ONE TERM! Think about that next time you want to vote for a warmonger. Now your paying for it all..how do you like it? (continued on page 38)

“My dearest wife can’t be beat, and this is why I write this tweet. She’s hot & sweet and super fine, & she’ll always be my valentine.” Now, how could we pass up an opportunity to declare Marty Matfess the winner of the My Tweet Valentine contest after reading that? My Tweet Valentine, presented by Windsor Jewelers, HD 98.3 and the Metro Spirit, asked readers to tweet why they loved their significant others for a chance to win a diamond heart necklace from Windsor and dinner for two. Matfess said he saw the ad for the contest and entered it, not thinking he had any chance of winning. “It was really kind of funny,” he said. “I read it and thought, ‘I don’t even have a Twitter account.’” A few minutes later he had installed the app on his

Into the Scrum: Maddog makes it to USA regional team An Etch a Sketch Experience: Eating at newly opened Edgar’s Grille allows you to meet Goodwill with a clean slate Case Continues: Sentinel’s motion to dismiss denied

Shanked: Bickering commission no closer to agreement over the Patch

COVER DESIGN: KRUHU Want to advertise in the Metro Spirit? 706.496.2535 or 706.373.3636

smartphone and made his very first tweet to us, not thinking he would win. Matfess did win, though, which means his wife of 24 years, Lisa, will be getting an especially good, albeit late, Valentine’s Day present. And Matfess says she deserves it. “We’re still really, really very happily married,” he said. “We’re like best buds, and that’s a good thing. It’s good to have a partner and a best friend who is your wife.” The couple has one child, Hilary, who goes to school in Baltimore, Maryland. So what’s the key to a long-lasting marriage? “I’m really good at making her laugh so she can’t stay angry with me for more than a few minutes,” Matfess said. “And she never does anything to make me angry.” With an answer like that, how could he not have won this contest?

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INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

SIDER Solid Gold

It happens every time a political figure steps aside — greed and desire and a healthy dose of patriotism overwhelm good sense in the most entertaining of ways. Such was the case last week when a familiar local figure popped up hoping to fill the seat left behind by Rep. Paul Broun’s yearning to run for the U.S. Senate seat that opened up when Saxby Chambliss decided not to seek a third term. Brian Slowinski, the former head of the Columbia County Republican Party — not the one who was run out, reinstated and then quit, but the one who stepped down to become school board candidate “Books” Slowinski the way Garth Brooks became that rock star that one time — has thrown his own hat in to the ring for the 10th Congressional District. And it can’t get any better. Slowinski’s announcement video is golden. Truly, the stuff of legend. If there’s any justice, the thing should go viral and inspire the most sincere form of flattery that this day and age can muster — a YouTube parody of its own. And we can all say we knew him when.

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Tick Tock At press time, Insiders close to the State Court of Richmond County are hearing rumors that the clock might be ticking faster than previously thought for Sentinel Offender Services. Though the judicial system and city administrators work at an almost glacial pace, the speculation is that decisions are starting to be made by different people according to different timetables. One thing is for sure: CSRA Probation Services’ Mike Popplewell has been popping up all over the Richmond County courthouse the last few days. Weighing what he stands to gain against the committee assignments Barry Fleming won by beating him in the Republican primary for Georgia House District 121, defeat must never have tasted so sweet.

Brian Slowinski

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Taxing Situation While the sheriff and the solicitor made all the headlines when the Augusta Commission failed to dish out their salary supplements, Tax Commissioner Steven Kendrick was left wondering why he was bunched along with the other two. Richard Roundtree and Kellie Kenner-McIntyre were considered for additional monies not required as part of their salary or position, but according to Kendrick, who was wandering around the empty commission chamber after the commissioners went into a second legal meeting to listen to potentially damning information about a commissioner’s possible business relationship with the city, his money was state mandated and shouldn’t have been considered in the same way. He didn’t seem too concerned, though. Maybe when you’re the taxman such things just aren’t all that taxing.

Steven Kendrick

Birdie Remember last year’s ParTee at the Park at Evans Towne Center Park during Master’s Week? The celebration that tried so hard to hit it long and straight off the tee but ended up deep in the rough? Well, a year later and things aren’t near as slapdash as that rushed event. A new name — Columbia County Championship Festival — a new look and a new vision have breathed new life into the county’s hopes for using the Evans Towne Center Park to cash in on the Masters. Not only has the county partnered with outside experts in plenty of time to plan things, they also managed to pull in the First Tee’s popular Rock Fore! Dough the Tuesday of Masters, get Lynyrd Skynyrd to headline that Friday night as well as what stands to be a major, as yet unannounced, country act for Thursday night. And they’ve got a three-year agreement to keep doing it. It’s undoubtedly too early to know if the new, more realistic approach to Masters Week will pay off or not, but the fact that they’re starting to make rational decisions in a considered manner bodes well for how they plan to use the great resource they came so close to squandering.

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Craft Beer and the Social Animal Communities are made up of weird, weird people

Communities are a funny thing. By their very nature, they are both natural and artificial constructions as, on the one hand, they stem from our inherent need to congregate with other like-minded individuals and, on the other hand, require human initiative in order to see them instituted and carried out. Hence, they have a tendency to be both ridiculously niche-y and all-inclusive. Account executives go to Comic Con; construction workers bang each other through crotch holes in squirrel suits at furry conventions. At least that’s what I heard from inside my gorilla costume. Like most of you, I’m a member of several communities: hack writers, the service industry, just-sort-of-creepy cat lovers. But the one with which I’m most involved, personally and professionally, is the craft beer industry. Regarding the latter, I run Beer-o-logy classes at our restaurant (their name, not mine), help coordinate tap takeovers and make up for my janitorial ineptitude by being the smartest guy at the bar. Personally, I always make sure to try new things, keep a small cellar for aging rare bottles and try to attend as many local tastings as possible. It does not suck to be obsessed with this. Over these seven years of being (legally) involved in such circles, I’ve come to see several social phenomena, positive and negative, manifested in my experiences. Was this a slow news week? Maybe. As in “definitely.� Craft Beer Drinkers are the Ultimate Hoarders The catalyst for this piece — besides the omnipresent, looming deadline, not to mention banking on the fact that the Metro Spirit editors will probably never actually read this — was a trip up to Amherst, Wisconsin, a few weeks ago to the Central Waters Brewery. If you’ve never heard of Amherst — and you probably haven’t, unless you have snotcicles hanging from your nose — it’s sort of like Waynesboro, but with a suburb. It’s the closest the continental United States gets to the taiga. I was there for their release of Fifteen, a version of their Satin Solstice imperial stout aged in oak bourbon barrels for a ridiculous 26 months, available only on that day and at the brewery. This wasn’t the first time Central Waters had a special release; last year, they made 1414, another bourbon-aged stout, to a relatively tame turnout. But the beer was purportedly top-notch, and so once word got out that Fifteen was on the way, beer geeks from Grand Rapids to Chicago to Muncie were packing cars and buying plane tickets. I feel both proud and a little weird about being completely serious here. See, Fifteen is what we’d call a “celebrity beer.� Meaning, I have four bottles, jerk-off, and you don’t. Probably the most famous example is Three Floyds’ Dark Lord Imperial Stout. Released and sold on one day only in late April at their Indiana brewery, this beer has drawn over 6,000 attendees for the past three years. Tickets sell out online in about one minute and, prior to eBay’s crackdown on alcohol sales, net-peddled bottles of bourbon- or cognac-aged Dark Lord fetched prices in the upper hundreds. And people go nuts for these things. Well-heeled, or geographically fortunate, fans load up on as many bottles as they’re allowed, and then use them as leverage, or to maintain extensive “verticals,� i.e. escalating vintages of the same beer. I’ve got a couple bottles of Goose Island Bourbon County laid away, not to mention the fact that I’m not going to drink more than one Fifteen per year, but some of my compatriots are screaming lunatics. An example: I was at a recent tasting, when I overheard the following: “Yeah, I’ve only got two cases of the 2010 [Central Waters] Barley Wine left. Still have six of the 2012, though.� The only difference between this and the TV show “Hoarders,� is that you can’t get drunk off of knick-knacks.

so simultaneously democratic and beer-crazy as it is. See, about once a month, someone from the local forum on ratebeer.com (don’t ask) sends out a “calling all locals� message to meet at someone’s house and crack open about 30 or 50 rare beers. They do this like they’re calling roll in Sunday School, and it blows my mind. My contributions to these events — Three Floyds Behemoth, Hair of the Dog Blue Dot, Deschutes The Abyss — have been earnest, but comparatively paltry. These basements and living rooms are where I’ve had the good fortune to sample beers like Goose Island King Henry (a barleywine aged in 23-year-old Pappy Van Winkle bourbon barrels), Firestone Walker XII (a blend of several of their beers, aged on a combination of several different barrels) and Upright Fantasia (a stellar sour ale brewed with fresh Oregon peaches). The spirit of community, of ware-sharing, imbues these gatherings. Everyone contributes what he or she can, everything is partaken of, and thoughtful, honest opinions are exchanged. I’ve watched Congressional hearings from start to finish, and it’s sad that our nation’s leaders can’t settle the debt ceiling issue with the same grace and civility with which we debate Bell’s Hopslam smelling more like orange peel or kitty pee. Communities are Made up of Weird, Weird People And we all pretty much get along — mostly during states of increasing drunkenness, which even the British House of Commons has some trouble doing. Side note: if you ever want to see what Congress would look like in a hilarious, perfect world, find footage of House of Commons proceedings. Every argument is like a rap battle between Wordsworth and Keats, with posses in tow. It’s like “8 Mile,� but everyone is Rowan Atkinson and Colin Firth. I touched on this in the introduction, but these gatherings span the socio-economic gamut. At this last one, there were other service industry workers like myself, an ad executive, two teachers, an electrician, a radio DJ and I’m pretty sure a homeless guy. It was a microcosm of society, all of us united in our desire to hang out, have fun and find out what happens when some lunatic ages a Belgian tripel in apple brandy barrels. See, something happens when you find yourself socially engaged with a disparate array of individuals. You begin, in spite of your most strident efforts, to focus not on ideology, on perceived societal slights, but on people. These people; real people. Don’t misunderstand; I’m not saying we can all unite under a common cause. For that to happen, either “Independence Day� or “Watchmen� has to play out in real life, and nobody wants that. But we can sure as hell listen to each other a little more. Republicans, let’s start with you: when the 2012 election ends up being a referendum against rapeadvocation, gun control and socialist devilry, don’t introduce legislation to arm teachers and rearrange voting districts. Also, tell Boehner to be quiet already. And Democrats, let’s try and talk to the crazy people, shall we? If we can find out what makes them tick, maybe we can all reach an understanding. Or maybe Ted Nugent* will make good on his April promise and get himself killed at the SOTU address. Either way, America wins. *But seriously, eff that guy.

JOSHRUFFIN, a Metro Spirit alum, is a published

journalist and poet who just received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar.

Socialism Is a Good Thing I’m sort of poor, and if my obsession with craft beer were transposed into a real world context, I’d be broke right now. And that’s why I’m thankful I live in a town like Madison,

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Thirty-Five Thousand Dollar Ride, $70,000 posse I goofed. Tuesday morning I woke up to Barclay Bishop telling Channel 6 viewers that the Richmond County Sheriff’s Office needed donations to help cover the cost of replacing worn out safety gear for their 10-dog K-9 Unit. Police puppies in peril... oh my! Fourteen hundred dollars a piece for 10 little kevlar doggie vests, and 10 cooling vests, and assorted emergency trauma supplies for a grand total of just under 19 grand. Didn’t I just hear about Sheriff Richard Roundtree spending 60 grand in confiscated drug/thug money to get a brand new shiny Chevy Tahoe? (Actually, I did not, but more about that in a minute.) That confiscated bad guy dough is awesome. But by law it cannot go for police salaries in any way, shape or form. The recovered loot can go to buy stuff or build things, though. Stuff like K-9 safety equipment. Someone decided that new rides for the new sheriff (and his top two guys) took precedence over the Pooch Patrol, and that someone (Roundtree) asked outgoing Sheriff Ronnie Strength to order three new cars. Professional courtesy demanded he comply. Sheriff Roundtree, and new Chief Deputy Pat Clayton took delivery at a total cost of 60 grand for both Tahoes. (New RCSD Colonel Robert Partain decided to pass on the new wheels.) Here comes the goof. I reported on the air, and posted on my Austin Rhodes Show Facebook page, that the sheriff’s SUV alone cost 60k. An outrageous sum to spend on one man’s ride, under normal conditions at taxpayer expense, most would agree. Here is part of the note I got from Chief Clayton Tuesday night: “While the Sheriff has chosen not to engage with you, I feel compelled to correct a few errors with your information. Information that you have been reporting for some time that was not vetted. Specifically, Sheriff Strength purchased two Chevrolet Tahoes for the Sheriff and I. My Tahoe was $25,000 and the Sheriff Roundtree’s was about $35,000. This is $25,000 less than the $60,000 you’ve been reporting.” As I stated before, I goofed. I apologize for the mistake and stand corrected.

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Now that I have humbled myself adequately, may we all ask that Chief Clayton use his magic car shopping powers to help us each get a similar deal? According to Motor Trend, 2012 Chevy Tahoes range between $38,755-$56,075. This year’s Tahoes go for $43,890-$57,150. Is there a such thing as a blue light special for cop cars? (Pun intended and regretted.) I hope the chief and the sheriff, for that matter, forgive my original, unintended error. But I do wish to thank them for at least one thing. By bringing this mistake to my attention, it seems by default they validate many of the other statements and claims (some rather bizarre and outlandish, I admit) I have made in these columns and on the air as true and unchallenged. Since the chief has been quite helpful in setting me straight on the cost of the one Tahoe, can he possibly explain those two “footmen” (been watching Downton Abbey!) that seem to be constantly on each side of Sheriff Roundtree during office hours, and for most of his forays out into the public? They used to be Deputies Alice Quarterman and Corey Carlyle, but many in the department are now calling them Thing 1 & Thing 2. (Or, depending on who you ask, Cagney & Lacey, Secret & Service, Upstairs & Downstairs or, my personal favorite, The Pips.) The veteran officers made 35k a piece last year (I did look that up, I promise), which means the Sheriff has $70,000 worth of posse shadowing him these days. Insiders tell me they have never seen any other sheriff around here keep such a team at his side, and there are many other things both of them could be doing. Besides, you seen the sheriff lately? They don’t call him Tree for nothing. Gonna go out on a limb here (again with the puns) and speculate he does not need a dude and a lady guarding his body. Chief, can you send me another note and clear this one up?

AUSTINRHODES

The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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ADAMWADDING

Into the Scrum

Maddog makes it to USA regional team

photography: Bob Jarman

Stephen “Boomer” Hickey, a local Augusta rugby player, has been taking on national competitors ever since making the Regional USA South Select rugby team. Hickey, who has been an avid rugby player for close to 12 years, was first introduced to the idea of playing through his wife while living in Ocala, Florida. “I was bored out of my mind going to school and working a part-time job, so when she brought home a brochure that said Ocala had a rugby team and told me to get my butt out of the house for a while, I reluctantly went out and tried my hand at it,” Hickey said. “I fell in love with the sport instantly.” Hickey wasn’t completely new to the sport of rugby, however. Although he never played before 2001, his uncle, Grady Leonard, exposed him to the sport while playing for the Augusta Maddogs in the 1990s. Now, Hickey is vice president and field captain for the same team. He’s been a member since 2008, which is about the time he began playing rugby more seriously. Hickey, one of four Maddog players to try out for the USA South Panthers, is the only player from Augusta to get a jersey as a member of the starting 15 traveling squad. Over 100 hopefuls tried out to represent the south region, and only a select few earned a spot on the traveling side of the team. The members of the Maddogs always knew Hickey was a natural talent when it came to the sport. “It’s a pretty big deal for him to make the [south select team],” said Brian Kaufman, president of Augusta Rugby Club. “We all know he is good, and I was glad he was on our team rather than the 8

METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

competitors.” This is the second year in a row that the Panthers will be participating in the North American Caribbean Ruby Association (NACRA) 15s Championships, but this year will be Hickey’s first. Although this was Hickey’s first time trying out for the team, he isn’t a stranger to playing in national tournaments. As a member of the Air Force team, he participated in the Armed Forces Championships three years in a row. In 2011, the team played against the Australia and All New Zealand Air Force in Australia. The Panthers could actually end up playing up to five different national teams in the tournament depending on how far they make it; the tournament itself is based on a knockout format. “One loss and you’re out,” Hickey said. The team recently defeated Mexico, the No. 2 seed, which advanced them a ticket to Jamaica where they will take on the Jamaican National team in mid-February. If the team pulls out another win, they will be set to play against the Bahamas. With the necessity of traveling to each competition, Hickey doesn’t allow it to affect his personal life, or his job as the principal of Our Lady of Peace, a local Catholic school. “In my life I have my family, my work and then I play rugby. I love all three of them dearly and have a passion for them all,” Hickey said. “I just take one day off [of work], leaving Thursday night and getting back on Sunday. Physically it’s a strain on me but it hasn’t been a hindrance on my job.” As for Hickey’s future with rugby, he doesn’t see himself pursuing the sport much beyond what he has already achieved. “It would be great to go forward with other Select Sides, but I don’t see that happening,”

Hickey said. “I don’t expect to do anything more than participate on this team and, of course, the Maddogs.” With most national sports, the peak in age averages 26 to 27 years old. At 31, Hickey says he is just playing at the highest competitive level as long as he can. With the help of the local Maddogs, he can do just that. The team is a part of the Augusta Rugby Club, a group that is always looking to recruit players of all experience levels that are interested in being a part of the team. Rugby is a year-long sport, with a more serious season from February-March. But the social side of the team is always in full swing. And being social has become a big part of who the Maddogs are. The group holds numerous social events, whether to relax after a game or just to get together and have a few drinks and a good meal. “The Metro [a coffee house and pub] is our main sponsor,” Hickey said. “They host all of our socials, let us cook our after-game meals on-site, and we of course have a few drinks. It’s where we can just hang out post match with the team we just played and talk rugby.” With February just starting, the Maddog team is preparing for their weekends to be filled with plenty of rugby. For Hickey, it means double the fun as he will now be playing for two different teams. “When I play rugby, I want to put my best foot forward,” Hickey said. “I am always looking to better myself by being exposed to the best rugby possible.” Anyone who may be interested in joining the Augusta team can visit their website, augustarugby. org. 14FEBRUARY2013

Coming Soon to Evans!

Early 2013

Our Interest is in You! 4349 Washington Road Across from Mellow Mushroom in front of Kroger www.firstbankofga.com

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“CELEBRATING 30 YEARS”

Learn to be an

GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D

Taxing Begins at Home

How Augusta may have influenced political history

technologist

In honor of my good friend Josh Ruffin, this week I wanted to write some sort of commemorative piece on the 100th anniversary of the income tax. In short, the 16th Amendment was ratified February 3, 1913. The income tax was, and still is, a key tool of the progressive agenda.

U

niversity Hospital’s Stephen W. Brown, M.D. School of Radiography, now in its 30th year, is accepting applications for classes beginning in July 2013. This 24-month program is accredited through the JRCERT, www.jrcert.org. Applicants must possess a minimum of an Associates Degree in any discipline and an overall grade point average of 2.25. College Algebra and English (or Composition) are also required. After

Stephen W. Brown, M.D. School of Radiography University Hospital 1350 Walton Way Augusta, GA 30901-2612 706/774-5010 10 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

completing the program, students receive a Certificate of Radiography and are eligible for the National ARRT Registry Exam. Applications are available online at www.universityhealth.org/clinicaleducation. For information, contact Patty Graham or Nancy Elliott at 706/774-5010, Monday-Friday, 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. or write to the address below. Class size is limited. To meet the eligibility deadline, all material must be received by April 15, 2013.

Any social justice program must be well funded in order to ensure an equitable distribution of outcomes. Over the last 100 years, we’ve done a great job of creating systems designed to produce equal social outcomes: Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and Obamacare, just to name a few. Unfortunately, our country is beginning to encounter the major flaw in liberal politics that was best expressed by Margaret Thatcher almost 40 years ago: “The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people’s money.” Now I’m not going to bore you with all the political cliché’s or class warfare propaganda. You can turn on MSNBC, “The Daily Show” or even read Josh’s column to get that. I would like to point out something a bit subtler. If you heard some of the local history types around town, you’ll understand that a young Woodrow Wilson spent his formative years in Augusta. During that time, he began to demonstrate the traits and habits that followed him his entire life. Am I saying Augusta is responsible for the progressive income tax? Of course not, but it is interesting to think what influence our city may have had. Dick Tracy at Last — Rumors are circulating that Apple is poised to jump into the wearable computer market with a smartwatch design. I know what you are thinking — “Huh?” But it actually makes a good play for Apple. Market predictions project sales of 90 million wearables by 2017. Right now, Apple has a hole in that space since it recently dropped its wrist-wearable, square-shaped iPod nano. The whole wrist-computer idea also plays well with Apple’s investment in curved display technology Apple’s reputation for revolutionizing market segments is consistent. The iPod, iTunes, iPhone and iPad all redefined the market of each item. Interestingly, Apple is not typically the first in the market, but rather waits for the right time and right technology to enter a promising market. Such may be the case with smartwatches as well. The market leader is a successful Kickstarter project called Pebble. The Pebble features a 144x168 ePaper display, vibrating motor, three-axis accelerometer and Bluetooth for connecting to your Android or Apple phone. We’re still in Wild, Wild West land for use cases, and more are being created every day. A typical use case involves connecting the watch with your phone using Bluetooth and using the phone to display alerts, email, texts, etc. The watch possesses an SDK that allows users to develop apps directly against the watch. Pre-orders for the Pebble should start shipping in April and May 2013. Any Apple smartwatch, if one exists, would not start shipping until later in the year. Stay tuned! Until next time, I’m off the grid @gregory_a_baker. GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D, is vice president and chief rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits.

www.universityhealth.org/clinicaleducation

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ERICJOHNSON

Case Continues

Sentinel’s motion to dismiss denied

Despite strong efforts to the contrary, the slow march toward a decision on the constitutionality of private probation continued Monday, as Judge Danny Craig denied a motion to dismiss the four civil cases enjoined to the habeas corpus petitions Craig ruled on late last month. The hearing, which lasted a little over an hour, centered on the two-part nature of the petition. The first part, the habeas part, was adjudicated on January 25, when Craig found that State Court Judge David Watkins had not properly advised the petitioners of their rights and then nullified their previous guilty pleas, returning them to a pretrial status. The second part dealt with damages, the constitutionality of private probation and whether or not Georgia law gives private probation the right to administer electronic monitoring — all things Sentinel Offender Services attorneys were eager to avoid.

12 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Representing Sentinel, attorney Jim Ellington argued that since Craig ruled in January that Sentinel did not ever hold the bodies, it was not a proper respondent to a habeas petition. He also cited cases that confirmed that a private probation company cannot perform more services than those which are directed by the judge’s sentence. “Sentinel is doing what the State Court said could be done via the sentence,” he said, making it clear that Sentinel itself did not order the petitioners be put on electronic monitoring or assign fees, though later in the proceeding, attorney John Bell, who represented the petitioners, pointed out a case where the prohibition against drinking was not a part of a sentence, yet the petitioner was ordered to wear an alcohol monitoring device. Ellington also pointed out that since the January 25 ruling, Sentinel has no longer supervised any of the petitioners and therefore should be dismissed from the action. Bell, however, argued that in spite of the legal technicalities brought up by Ellington, joining together separate issues with a claim of habeas corpus is allowed by law. “While I understand very well the issue that Sentinel would contend that they are not the proper party in the claim for habeas corpus, they are indeed the proper party for the wrongful conduct we allege in the complaint,” Bell said. In all four cases, Bell and attorney Jack Long are attacking the constitutionality of private probation and electronic monitoring. They are also seeking damages. “These cases aren’t going away,” Bell said. “We are determined to get a clear ruling.” The prolonged judicial wrangling had Craig commenting several times about how unusual the issues were and how unprecedented the situation was. “What a conundrum,” he said at one point. “I mean, I’ve got it straight — I don’t mean to say to you it’s confusing. But it certainly is a confluence of several issues here.” In the end, he denied Sentinel’s motion to dismiss the cases, though it was clear from the way he proposed dealing with the issues that he will continue to be as methodical as he’s been up to now. Therefore, any resolution to the big questions in the case will likely be awhile in coming.

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A WHIFF OF COLOGNE By Dan Schoenholz / Edited by Will Shortz

legend 72 European coin with a hole in it 73 Sex partner? 75 Fraternity member 77 Theologian’s subj. 78 Actress Dennings of “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” 79 Like many a fraternity party 80 Insect’s opening for air 85 Puppet of old TV 87 French Champagne city 88 Make a call 89 Mason’s trough 90 Noodle 91 Group of bright stars? 92 Baseball commissioner Bud 93 Homey 94 Bushel or barrel: Abbr. 95 Chem ___ 96 Potter’s pedal 98 Language related to Tahitian 99 Tousles 102 Low grade? 104 Noble rank 105 Playwright Joe who wrote “What the Butler Saw” 106 Tessellation 107 Clipped 108 Cool 109 Pass Down 1 Alternatives to comb-overs 2 Ingredients in some candy bars 3 Move, as a plant 4 Level 5 Camera type, briefly 6 Hidden 7 Alan of “Argo” 8 Schreiber who won a Tony for “Glengarry Glen Ross” 9 Place for a Dumpster 10 Vaudeville singer’s prop 11 “In the American West” photographer 12 Show over 13 Old New York paper, for short 14 Actress Gardner 15 Novel that focuses on character growth 16 High-quality 17 Peloponnesian War winner 18 Import, as water or music 20 “Christina’s World” painter

Andrew 22 Paavo ___, 1920s Finnish Olympic hero 26 Practical approach to diplomacy 30 It’s a blessing 32 Customizable character in a computer game 33 Cougar’s prey 36 E-mail forerunner 37 Los ___ mosqueteros 39 Confident test-taker’s cry 40 Some “Bourne” film characters 41 Ring event 44 Rapper? 45 Inner ___ 46 Forceful advance 47 Depressed at the poles 48 Jungle vine 49 Big media to-do 50 Informal social gathering 51 Inexperienced 53 Caught at a 41-Down 55 Went after 58 St. Peter’s Basilica feature 61 Snookums 63 More pink, maybe 66 All’s partner 67 Goes off on a tangent 70 Small bit 74 Mark of ___ 76 Discuss lightly 79 Big ___ 80 Ill-humored 81 ___ set (tool assortment) 82 Jumbled 83 Cheap, as housing 84 Trim 85 Time’s second African-American Person of the Year 86 Primates with tails 87 Scold 88 Mark of a rifle’s laser sight 91 Conductor Kurt 92 Present-day personality? 93 Alfalfa’s love in “The Little Rascals” 95 Mother of Castor and Pollux 97 Gaelic ground 98 Principal 100 Word missing twice in the Beatles’ “___ Said ___ Said” 101 One on foot, informally 103 Verizon forerunner

1

2

3

4

5

6

17

7

8

9

10

18

21 24 30

34

35

38

39

26 31

40

52 57

59

60 66

74

75

78 85

68

71

72

76

99

101

104 107

C A L I C O

A L E R O S

E S T O P S

S I B S

T O L L

A T O I

A M E S M E L

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U R A R A N N T O S S O C E P T S C R O S H I P E V I D R Y E T O L C O A I O T T A B G R G R A E M E N S T E S S T E T I N O C

93

97

98

102

103

105

106

108

109

T E T R A D

84

89

92 96

100

81

88

95

83

63

77 80

91

94

48

54

67

87

90

47

58 62

79

86

46

53

61

70

73

28

42 45

51

65

16

33

41

56

64

15

37

55

69

14

27 32

44

50

13

20

36

43 49

12

23

25

29

11

19

22

PREVIOUSPUZZLEANSWERS

Across 1 Pop-___ 6 División of a house 10 They may be running in a saloon 17 Sun, in Verdun 18 Thin ice, e.g. 19 Survey 21 Alternative to white 23 How overhead photos may be taken 24 “That’s ___ excuse …” 25 Like St. Louis vis-à-vis New Orleans 27 Name 28 End to end? 29 Torn 30 Inexperienced 31 See 67-Across 33 Kind of tape 34 “How I Met Your Mother” narrator 35 Put out 36 Who said “Familiarity breeds contempt — and children” 37 Like Virginia among states to ratify the Constitution 38 Booth, e.g. 41 Sphere 42 Suit size: Abbr. 43 PC component 44 Target of minor surgery 45 Dick ___, co-creator of “Saturday Night Live” 49 Tangle 51 Either end of an edge, in graph theory 52 Ph.D. hurdles 54 Diamond stat 55 Worked the soil, in a way 56 “A Clockwork Orange” hooligan 57 Actress Loughlin of “90210” 58 Soda fountain option 59 Spritelike 60 Skater Midori 61 Cool 62 Roosevelt’s successor 64 Roosevelt’s successor 65 Shade provider 67 With 31-Across, favor, as a ballot measure 68 1952 Brando title role 69 Enzyme ending 70 Fairbanks Daily News-___ 71 Geraint’s wife, in Arthurian

M A T H I S

A D H E M

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C O T O L E N E S E S I V E R E A R S L L A K E E P E N A C A R T E D O A S R I S T M T A O N R Y H E A E X N T S R A I Y S O E N

C R A Z Y

B E D E W S

S C O R E A H M I L A T A T D I M Y L U D I R A R E D U E S U P E R R D A O T I F O L

T V U E B E L I E G E

L D R S

E M M A

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L I S T E D

S T E E R S

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14FEBRUARY2013

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 13

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ERICJOHNSON

Shanked

Bickering commission no closer to agreement over the Patch

After the Augusta Commission repeatedly failed to approve a lease agreement for Virginia Beach Golf Management to take over the Municipal Golf Course, the firm withdrew its bid Wednesday, February 6, leaving the commission little to do but discuss what comes next. Administrator Fred Russell informed the commissioners at Monday’s committee meetings that because they had directed the staff to privatize the course, its management and upkeep were not included in the budget. “We are currently operating hand to mouth with dollars out of the Recreation Department budget,” he said. “We’d asked for some continuation of that in hopes that it would be decided one way or the other at this point. Since it has not been, I think the question I would ask is — what does this body want us to do?” Like many questions asked in the commission chambers, that proved a difficult one to answer. Before the discussion began, Russell estimated that continuing to operate the course the way they were would yield a projected revenue of $210,000 while costing about $335,000. In other words, by his numbers, the city would experience a net profit loss of about $125,000. Though no one denied the course was losing money, Commissioner Marion Williams announced that the numbers he saw were “staggering” in support of the golf course. “When we looked at the amount of the Newman Tennis Center and the Aquatic Center were losing compared to the Patch, the Patch is doing relatively good, but I don’t think you hear that,” he said. “We talk as if it’s a drain on us.” Russell explained that because the golf course is operated as an enterprise fund, it sits alone in the budget. “The other areas are supplemented though the Recreation budget,” he said. “The golf course is a measurable identity, and I believe that’s why it’s received the notoriety that it has.” On a philosophical level, Russell said, it came down to whether the commission wanted to operate the golf 14 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

course or not. His options: continue operating it as it’s being operated now, close it or operate it until they bid it out again. “It’s a policy decision this group has got to make, and we’ll be more than happy to do what we’re directed to do,” he said. The notion of closing it had several commissioners angry. Commissioner Corey Johnson, who consistently voted against Virginia Beach and has been outspoken in his opinion that a decision on the Patch should be postponed until a new Recreation Director is hired, acknowledged that the issue had become a media distraction, especially since Commissioner Wayne Guilfoyle, who voted in support of the lease agreement with Virginia Beach, suggested in an interview after the last rejection that selling the course might be the commission’s only option. “The only way I would vote to close the Patch is if we vote to close the Aquatic Center and Newman Tennis Center, because they are both losing money,” Johnson said. “If we don’t want to be in the golfing business, we can turn it over to a management company, but we have to be clear and open minded to the future, because closing it is not going to look good on us at all. We can’t allow emotions to drive the decisions that have to be made for this golf course and anything else that we have to deal with up here.” The golf course discussion, placed on the agenda by Guilfoyle the morning before Virginia Beach withdrew its bid, came after a prolonged legal meeting led up to a failed vote to approve $26,000 in salary supplements for Sheriff Richard Roundtree and Solicitor General Kellie Kenner-McIntyre. The vote fell along racial lines, with all five black commissioners voting for the salary supplement and all four white commissioners in attendance voting against. The vote needed six votes to pass. Both Roundtree and Kenner-McIntyre are black. “We are a dysfunctional body,” said Commissioner Bill Lockett, one of the leading black voices on the commission. “Some want to make everything we do a race issue, and I can assure you today that we have pretty much proven that that is so. Look at the supplement for the sheriff and for the solicitor… one

thing they all have in common? And did you notice the votes that were taken? That wasn’t based on any particular justification. What was it on?” Commissioner Alvin Mason advocated investing remaining SPLOST funds earmarked for capital improvements — a number he put at around $300,000 — into improving the course so that, should they choose to go out for bid again, they would have a better product to sell, something Guilfoyle disagreed with. “If we invest this money in dressing this place up and then put it out for a new management company, the first thing that’s going to bite us in the bottom is, is it going to be affordable?” he said. “In business, if you pay more in rent, you’ve got to charge more to the end user, which is the golfer.” Keeping fees affordable has been one of major priorities for the course’s supporters. Commissioner Bill Fennoy inquired whether or not the golf course was administered with the same level of expertise as the Aquatic Center and Newman Tennis Center and found out that it wasn’t. Though both of the other venues operated under a kind of subject matter expert, the golf course was simply under the Recreation Department. “I don’t believe that we have actually given the Patch a chance, and I think that we need to do that,” he said. “I think that we need to bring people that are qualified to run the Patch as opposed to just having someone from Recreation and Parks. We’ve got to do a better job of bringing quality people to the table in order to make that facility first class.” Commissioner Donnie Smith later grilled Deputy Administrator Bill Shannahan on the numbers, then determined that both the Aquatic Center and Newman Tennis Center would be eligible for privatization, too. Russell also admitted that changes in accounting procedures meant that the golf course was now eligible to be absorbed into the Recreation Department should the commission desire it. In the end, the committee voted to give Russell two weeks to contact two management companies that had previously bid to manage the course. They also gave him the authority to continue running the course while he determines the interest of the other groups.

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ERICJOHNSON

An Etch a Sketch Experience

Eating at newly opened Edgar’s Grille allows you to meet Goodwill with a clean slate Jim Stiff and Marcel Biro

On Tuesday, February 12, Goodwill Industries of Middle Georgia and the CSRA opened Edgar’s Grille, an upscale, fine-dining restaurant smack in the middle of its new campus at the corner of Washington and Furys Ferry roads. That’s right — you heard “Goodwill” and “upscale, fine dining” in the same sentence. The food is coordinated by a world-renowned chef and the design is worthy of a glossy magazine spread, which is why President and CEO Jim Stiff hopes the restaurant will help people have what he calls an Etch a Sketch moment. “Everyone who walks through that door — their Etch a Sketch machine gets erased,” he says. What he hopes gets erased is people’s preconceptions about Goodwill’s overall mission and how it relates to the restaurant and Helms College, the accompanying culinary school he hopes to launch into other applied learning directions. You know how Goodwill stores allow you to help support career development programs by shopping? Edgar’s Grille allows you to support them by eating good food. Really good food. “You rethink the perception of Goodwill,” Stiff says. “We’ve been working on it in terms of how to present to the community that there is some connectivity, but this is completely run by professionals and a world-renowned chef is putting the whole thing together.” That chef is Marcel Biro, a European-trained master chef

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and former personal chef to German Chancellor Helmut Kohl, who was coaxed to Augusta by Stiff’s concept. “I was intrigued not just by what is happening, but by the whole idea behind it,” he says. “Helping others and giving back to the community and making better communities.” The restaurant complements the culinary school at Helms College, though it is by no means a practice kitchen. Instead, it is a regular restaurant staffed by professionals that simply gives students an opportunity to intern on their way to earning a diploma or certificate and, ideally, a job at one of the other restaurants in town. Or around the country. That experiential learning component is the central aspect of the Helms College model, which echoes Goodwill founder Edgar Helms’ original concept of job training, which included hands-on experience. “The hospitality creates the stage so we can tell our story on the stage,” Stiff says. “So I think it’s going to be a lot easier to have people understand how we’re transforming people’s lives by just gingerly learning about our mission from the servers, from looking at the menu, from observing the campus and looking at how they’re being trained in the back.” And he hopes that, from a fundraising perspective, it makes things easier for building phase three — an additional educational opportunity built around applied learning. “But this will be the heart of the center,” he says. “Because this is the main place that the community and Edgar and his mission meet.” In addition to the restaurant, which has a full bar, lounge and outdoor seating, there is also a conference center that can accommodate up to 250 guests.

And from February 23-27, Stiff will have the opportunity to show off the entire operation to the top brass of the organization as he hosts the annual gathering of Goodwill CEOs. Goodwill is roughly 195 autonomous organizations that are connected by an association. “That causes us all to be very creative because we’ve got lots of opportunities,” he says. “We can take the pulse of the local community and create the type of programs and the type of businesses that make the most amount of sense for our local community.” Hosting the CEOs will allow him to share his vision not just of Edgar’s, but of the neighboring bookstore, recently renamed Hire Grounds, the conference center and the Helms College concept, which Stiff is anxious to expand. “I think their first dining experience will change everything for them because of the caliber of the talent we’ve brought in,” he says. “There’s not a high-end, upscale restaurant affiliated with some type of skill training — this is the only manifestation of that — and we’re really hoping that people with lots of creativity and curiosity and resources say, ‘We’d like Marcel to help us established an Edgar’s Grille in, say, Portland, Oregon.’” Biro also likes the a la carte aspect of programming. “If the CEO understands his community, he could say the grill might not work, but maybe the coffee shop is a wonderful idea,” he says. According to Stiff, the business is built to grow. “We finished the 2016 strategic plan and we have in that plan to have a total of four Helms College campuses by 2016 and then have an additional two outside of our territory in other Goodwill territories that will have similar complementary businesses with applied learning, like an Edgar’s.” By having the restaurant serve as an applied learning venue for the Helms College students, Stiff feels it deflects whatever criticism might exist when it comes to competing against private-sector restaurants. “The minute that we do not supply others in the industry with high-quality candidates that we have skillfully trained and allow them to have hands-on experience with our operation to get the rough edges off, then we’re going to look like the competition,” Stiff says. “But if we’re meeting their human resource needs, then the fact that we’re a 501c3 and pay no taxes — all of that kind of becomes righted in the greater karma of life.”

MONEY

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GROW ON TREES (Although some local tree services must beli be liliev evee it ddoe ev oess ac oe acco cord co rdin rd ingg to tthe in heir he ir eest stim st imat im atees at es!) !) believe does according their estimates!) AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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ERICJOHNSON

Operation Thunder

State program to work with Sheriff’s Office to make roads safer

Over the last two years, Richmond County has experienced a staggering 131 percent increase in traffic fatalities, and we’re not the only ones who have taken notice. The Governor’s Office of Highway Safety (GOHS) is devoting considerable resources to help bring that number down. Starting Thursday, February 14, GOHS and the Richmond County Sheriff’s Office will kick off Operation Thunder, a three-month, high-visibility campaign to help rein in all kinds of dangerous drivers — distracted, aggressive, texting, impaired. All at no cost to the county. “The program allows us to use state resources at no additional expense,” says Lt. Lewis Blanchard of the Community Services Division of the Richmond County Sheriff’s Office, who also happens to be the assistant coordinator for the regional GOHS. “The state pays for whatever expenses are incurred.” All of which means area motorists should prepare to see a lot of different law enforcement vehicles on the road. “It will depend on the time, but generally speaking, it’s going to be a minimum of 15 extra people and it could be as many as 30 extra people,” Blanchard says. “And that’s in addition to the stepped up efforts of Richmond County.” Besides the extra vehicles, which will fan out to various areas depending upon what the accident data indicates, an awareness campaign is going to expand into various different media as well as personal education, like literature about drunk driving or driving while texting distributed at road 16 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

checks. Yes, there will be road checks. And radar stops. And warnings. And citations. “Really, all components are just as important, whether it’s educational, whether its warnings, whether it’s enforcement actions,” Blanchard says. “All of that plays a role, and the main goal is just to lower the number of accidents that we’re having in our area.” He makes it clear that the goal is not about writing more tickets or raising revenue. “The goal shouldn’t be, ‘Okay, let’s go out there and write a 1,000 tickets,’” he says. “The goal is, let’s reduce the number of accidents by 50 percent, and I don’t care how we accomplish that goal.” Though there are several reasons that could be contributing to the dramatic increase in traffic fatalities, Blanchard says one of the reasons has to do with the fact that last year the traffic division was also answering road patrol calls. “They were actually assigned to beats,” Blanchard says. “So traffic enforcement, although it was important, it wasn’t their primary function at all times. They had to make regular calls.” Since Sheriff Richard Roundtree took office, however, the 40-member traffic division deals solely with traffic enforcement, and statistics show that continual enforcement is an important element of lowering traffic fatalities. Though conventional wisdom says that if you see the lights, you’re going to drive safer, neither Richmond County nor the GOHS are relying on conventional wisdom. Both are using solid information to dictate their reactions. “The biggest thing for us is the data,” Blanchard says. “Previously, they weren’t operating on

a proactive, data-driven mechanism for traffic enforcement, but now we are. In conjunction with beginning data-driven enforcement, bringing in these guys for the three months — that really allows for that time period to see where our real problems are, to catch up and then to have a good baseline four months from now.” The extra law enforcement officers will come from the State Patrol, which works in conjunction with the GOHS, and from HEAT — Highway Enforcement of Aggressive Traffic — another state program intended to combat impaired and aggressive drivers. “That’s another thing that we’re actually looking at doing is going after a HEAT grant so we would have a three-man team here,” Blanchard says. “It’s funded by the state for an extended period of time of up to three years. They pay for the vehicle. They pay for two of the officers and you provide one officer as part of a buy-in to the program. And every now and then, when they need you to participate in another county, that’s something you would do.” So other officers from other jurisdictions will be spending a considerable amount of time helping Richmond County get safer behind the wheel. This isn’t the first time the Richmond County Sheriff’s Office has teamed up with the GOHS. Over the Super Bowl, they put up posters at establishments that sell alcohol as a reminder to drive safely, and just this week they’ve started pushing an anti-texting and driving campaign with a fairly graphic video showing the ramifications of that kind of distracted driving. At the end of the three months, enforcement will go back to normal, but by then the driving behavior of the public will have been modified by 14FEBRUARY2013

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all the additional exposure to law enforcement. â&#x20AC;&#x153;If you can get people to start complying in more specific areas for an extended period of time, then hopefully that continues,â&#x20AC;? he says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Again, that will all come down to the data as far as whether it works or not, but the research that the GOHS has provided us shows that you do see clear reductions not only during that time period, but for an extensive amount of time afterward.â&#x20AC;? Blanchard says that everyone is committed to the program. â&#x20AC;&#x153;When you make 44 notifications last year â&#x20AC;&#x201D; youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to do whatever it takes to solve the problem of speed and alcohol and reckless drivers on our roadways.â&#x20AC;?

14FEBRUARY2013

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METROSPIRIT 17

ENTERTAIN

ME There will be dresses, of course, at the Bridal and Formal Expo at Sacred Heart Cultural Center this Sunday, Feb. 17, from 1-5 p.m. A Sho Ane fashion show will from 2:30-3:30 p.m. But future brides will also find everything from hair and beauty salon vendors to those who can help with jewelry, flowers, formalwear, reception venues, photography, catering, cakes and so much more. It’s a great deal at $10: it’s even better that a portion of ticket sales will be donated to Augusta and Aiken chapters of the American Red Cross. Call 706-724-7220 or email shoanesbridal@gmail.com.

Exhibitions

Ronnie Milsap will play at the Bell Auditorium as part of the Pops! At the Bell series, 7:30 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 14. Visit soaugusta.org or augustaentertainmentcomplex.com.

“Young Masters: Work by Savannah River Area High School Students” will be on display at the Morris Museum of Art through Sunday, Feb. 14. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

“All Hands on Deck!” will be performed by the Aiken Performing Arts Group at the URS Center for the Performing Arts in Aiken, 8 p.m., Thursday-Friday, Feb. 14-15. General admission, $40; students, $20. Call 803-648-1438 or visit apagonline.org.

“Pride and Passion: The African-American Baseball Experience” is on display at GRUA. Call 706-721-9265 or visit gru.edu.

“Southernscapes” by photographer Bailey Davidson will exhibit through Feb. 26. Call 706-306-1581 or email artistslocal1155@gmail.com. Local sculptor Brian Rust exhibits his work at Sacred Heart Cultural Center until Feb. 24. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org. Aiken Retro Exhibition will be on display at the Aiken Center for the Arts through Feb. 25. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org. “Ebony Legacy Revisited” will be on display at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of African-American History through Feb. 28. Adults $5, seniors $3, kids $2. Call 706-724-3576 or visit lucycraftlaneymuseum.com. Katie Harris, photographer and sculptor from Appling, will display her exhibit, “Blissful Fullness-Empty Freedom” at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art through March 1. Non-members, $5; members, free. Call 706-722-5495 or visit ghia.org.

Music

Live Romantic Jazz for Valentine’s Day with Greek and Italian cuisine at Eros Bistro in downtown Augusta is 6:30-9 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 14. Reservations required. Call 706-303-8641 or visit erosbistro.com. “In the Mood” big-band 1940s musical revue is at the Imperial Theatre, 7 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 14. $25-$40. Call 706-722-8341 or visit artbeatshows.org or imperialtheatre.com. Winter Jam 2013 will be headlined by TobyMac at the James Brown Arena, 7 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 14. $10. Doors open 6 p.m. Visit augustaentertainmentcomplex.com. Choral Ensembles will be performed at GRUA, 7:30-9 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 14. Call 706-667-4100 or visit gru.edu. 18 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Laurent Boukobza will perform at Covenant Presbyterian Church as part of their Covenant Concert Series, 7:30 p.m., Friday, Feb. 15. Call 706-7330513 or visit covenantaugusta.org. Mike Farris and the Roseland Rhythm Revue will perform at the Imperial Theatre as part of the Morris Museum Southern Soul and Song series 7:30 p.m., Friday, Feb. 15. $13-$36. Call 706-722-8341 or visit imperialtheatre.com. Brantley Gilbert will perform at the James Brown Arena as part of his “Hell on Wheels” tour 7:30 p.m., Friday, Feb. 15. $24.75-$37. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix.com. Fourth Annual Augusta Blues Festival will take place at the Bell Auditorium, 7 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 16. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix.com. “Feelin’ Groovy” will be presented by The Ballroom Dance Center 7 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 16. General admission, $28; under 18, $21. Call 706-8548888 or visit augustaballroomdance.com. Preston and Weston with Sandra Simmons jazz concert will be presented as part of Music at the Morris at the Morris Museum of Art, 2 p.m. Sunday, Feb. 17. Free. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Harry Jacobs Concert Series will be performed at The Kroc Center at 5 p.m., Sunday, Feb. 17. $20. Call 706-790-9274 or visit hjcms.org. Svyati British cello/organ duo will play at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church as part of the Tuesday’s Music Live concert series noon, Tuesday, Feb. 19. Concert, free; lunch, $10. Reservations required for lunch. Call 706-7223463 or visit tuesdaysmusiclive.com.

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Musical Diplomacy as a Force for Peace and Understanding, a lecture by The Embassy Series Director Jerome Barry, is Tuesday, Feb. 19, from 5-6:30 p.m. at USC-Aiken’s Business and Education Building, room 140. Free and open to the public. Call 803-641-3671 or email mariaa@usca.edu. The Perlman, Quint, Bailey Trio will play at the Jabez S. Hardin Performing Arts Center at the Columbia County Library 7:30 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 19. Visit soaugusta.org. Lord of the Dance is at the Bell Auditorium 7:30 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 19. $45-$55. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix.com. USAF Rhythm in Blue Jazz Ensemble will perform at the North Augusta High School Auditorium 7:30 p.m., Wednesday, Feb. 20. Features a repertoire from the swing era. Free. Email kbs54@att.net or visit naartscouncil.org. Midday Music will be held at First Presbyterian Church in Aiken at noon, Thursday, Feb. 21. Free. Reservations required. Call 803-648-2662 or visit aikenpresbyterian.org. Orchestra and Wind Ensemble will be presented by the GRU Department of Music at the Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre 7:30-9 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 21. Call 706-667-4100 or visit gru.edu.

Literary

Frank Yerby Literary Symposium will be held at Paine College at 6 p.m., Thursday-Friday, Feb. 14-15. Free. Call 706-396-7601 or visit paine.edu. Book Sale will be held at the Appleby Library from 10 a.m.-1 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 16. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. CSRA Writers will meet at the Georgia Military College, 6:30 p.m., Monday, Feb. 18. Call 706-836-7315. Book Club will meet at the Harlem Library, 4 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 21. Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org Let’s Talk About Islamic Books is at the Headquarters Library, 5:30-9 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 21. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Book Discussion: “Running From Solace” is at the Headquarters Library, 6:30-8:45 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 21. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Poetry Matters is accepting entries through March 23 for their annual poetry contest. Cash prizes will be given out. Categories are middle and high school, adults, and seniors. Visit poetrymatterscelebration.com.

Dance

Young Christian Singles Anniversary Ball will be held at the American Legion Post #63, 8 p.m.-midnight, Saturday, Feb. 16. Members, $20; guests, $25. Call 762-233-1978. Dance Marathon will take place as part of GRU’s homecoming activities at the Jaguar Student Activities Center Breezeway, 11:30 a.m., Monday, Feb. 18. Wear blue and get free food as well as getting a chance to participate in the university’s dance marathon kickoff. Call 706-737-1619 or visit gru.edu. Jaguar Jam will take place as part of GRU’s homecoming activities, at the Christenberry Field House, 7-9 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 21. $5 or two canned goods. Call 706-737-1619 or visit gru.edu. Belly Dance Class is held every Tuesday at 6 p.m. at Euchee Creek Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Belly Dancing Classes are held Tuesdays at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. Augusta International Folk Dance Club meets Tuesday nights from 7:309:30 p.m. at the Augusta Ballet Studio on 2941 Walton Way. No partners needed. First visit free. Call 706-399-2477.

Theater

Cupid’s Cabaret, featuring a performance of “Gruesome Playground Injuries,” is at Le Chat Noir Thursday, Feb. 14, at 8 p.m. Call 706-7223322 or visit lcnaugusta.com. “Gruesome Playground Injuries” by Rajiv Joseph will be performed at Le Chat Noir Friday-Saturday, Feb. 15-16, at 7 p.m. Call 706-722-3322 or visit lcnaugusta.com. “Misfit Tarantino” will be presented at Sector 7G by the Misfit Theatre Group at 9 p.m., Friday and Saturday, Feb. 15-16. $10. Viewer discretion advised for language and violence. Visit sector7gaugusta.com. “The Parents of Tabatha Tutt vs DJ Smoke” will be presented by Augusta 14FEBRUARY2013

1069 STEVENS CREEK ROAD | 706.288.2200

Your Valentine Awaits Valentine Packages available February 14-16: $209 per night | Dinner Package available February 14-16: $99 per couple

Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Packages Deluxe Guestroom, Champagne and Chocolates delivered to room upon arrival Four course dinner for 2 Live Jazz Band from 7pm-11pm | Grand Breakfast Buffet from 7am-12pm

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Mini Theatre at the Judith Simon Drama Studio at 3 p.m., Saturday-Sunday, Feb. 16-17. Call 706-722-3320 or visit augustaminitheatre.com.

$10. Ticket sales will be donated to Augusta and Aiken chapters of the American Red Cross. Call 706-724-7220.

Set crew needed for Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre production of “Legally Blonde: The Musical,” 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m., Monday-Saturday, until March 1. Tools will be provided. Email steven.r.walpert.naf@mail.mil.

Sidewalk Spirit Contest, part of GRU’s homecoming activities at the JSAC Breezeway at the ASU campus and the Wellness Center at the MCG campus, is at 4 p.m. Tuesday, Feb. 19. Call 706-737-1619 or visit gru.edu.

Flix

Downtown Connects, a group that wants to take care of downtown, will meet 5-6:30 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 19. Email downtownaugustaalliance@ gmail.com.

President’s Day film will be shown at the Headquarters Branch library 2 p.m., Sunday, Feb. 17. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

“Balancing the Basin,” a video and discussion about updates to the Savannah River Basin and the equitable distribution of water resources of the CSRA, will be presented by the Army Corps of Engineers at the Augusta Jewish Community Center 11:45 a.m., Wednesday, Feb. 20. Visit augustajcc.org.

“Beasts of the Southern Wild” shows Saturday, Feb. 16, at 3 p.m. at the Aiken Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

“Red Tails” will be shown at the Euchee Creek Library at 5:30 p.m., Monday, Feb. 18. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org “Immortal Beloved” (1994, R) will be shown in University Hall at GRUA 7 p.m., Monday, Feb. 18. General admission, $3; GRUA students, faculty and staff, free with JagCard. Visit gru.edu. “The Tuskegee Airmen” (PG-13) will be shown at the Maxwell Library as part of their Black History Month film series, 2 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 19. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” (2012, PG-13) will show at the Headquarters Library, Tuesday, Feb. 19, at 6:30 p.m. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Special Events

Job Expo will be held at the GRU Christenberry Fieldhouse 11 a.m.-2 p.m., Friday, Feb. 15. Call 706-737-1604 or email careercenter@aug.edu. Wine & Swine, a barbecue cook-off and wine tasting to benefit the First Tee of Augusta, begins at 10 a.m. at the Old Southern Railway Train Depot on Saturday, Feb. 16, at 10 a.m. with the I Run Augusta 5K. The festival follows from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Race entry, $25 beforehand and $30 on race day, includes race, T-shirt and entry into the event. Entry to the festival only is $20 at the gate. To register for the race, visit strictlyrunning.com. Bridal and Formal Expo will be held at Sacred Heart Cultural Center 1-5 p.m., Sunday, Feb. 17, with a fashion show from 2:30-3:30 p.m.

20 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Health

Mobile Mammography Screenings will be held 8 a.m.-3 p.m. the following dates and locations: Dillard’s at the Aiken Mall, Thursday, Feb. 14, and the Edgefield Medical Center, Friday, Feb. 15. Call 706-774-4149 or visit universityhealth.org. Les Mills Launch Party will be held at The Kroc Center 4:30-6:30 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 14. Members receive free guest pass for “BodyPump With Your Partner” followed by “BodyVive With Your Valentine.” Call 706-3645762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Car Seat Safety Class will be offered at the Safe Kids Office 5:45-8 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 14. Registration required. $10. Call 706-721-7606 or visit gru.edu. Bariatric Seminar will be offered by Doctors Hospital 6 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 14. Free. Registration required. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctorshospital.net. Airavata Yoga Therapy is offered 6:30-7:45 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 14 and 21, as well as 1-2:15 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 16. $15 a class or $75 a month. Reservations required. Email airavatayogatherapyatgmail.com. Weight Loss Surgery Seminar will be held 7 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 14, at the GRU Alumni Center. Call 706-721-2609 or visit gru.edu.

Women’s Center Tour at University Hospital will be held 7-9:30 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 14. Free. Registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org. Women’s Center Tour will take place at University Hospital 7-9:30 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 14. Registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org. Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Class will be held in the University Hospital Heart & Vascular Institute at 6 p.m., Monday, Feb. 18. Free. Registration required. Call 706-774-5548 or visit universityhealth.org. Total Joint Replacement Class will be held at the University Hospital Levi Hill III Auditorium 1-3 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 19. Free. Call 706-774-2760 or visit universityhealth.org. Breastfeeding Class for expectant mothers will be held at Babies R Us in Evans 7-9 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 21. Free. Registration required. Call 706774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org. Child Safety Seat Inspections offered by appointment at the Safe Kids office (call 706-721-7606), Martinez/Columbia Fire Rescue Engine Co. 3 (call 706-860-7763) and Columbia County Sheriff’s Substation in Evans (call 706-541-3970). Visit gru.edu. Car Seat Classes are offered by appointment only at the Safe Kids Office in Augusta and at the Martinez Columbia Fire Rescue Headquarters. Call 706-721-7606 or visit gru.edu. Mindfulness Based Meditation will be offered 6-7 p.m., Tuesdays in February. $20 a class or $85 for five classes. Reservations required. Call 706-496-3935. Blood pressure checks and wellness planning sessions offered at the Kroc Center all February for American Heart Month. Free. Registration required. Call 706-922-8332 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Support

Brain Injury Support Group will meet at NeuroRestorative Georgia at 6 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 14. Survivors of stroke, traumatic brain injury, aneurysm and other acquired brain injuries and their families and caregivers are invited to attend. Call 706-829-0370.

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Cancer Survivor Support Group meets at Doctors Hospital 6-7 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 14. Call 706-651-2283 or visit doctors-hospital.net. PFLAG of Augusta, a support group for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people, as well as their family members and friends, will meet at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Augusta 7 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 14. Visit facebook.com/PFLAGCSRA. Young Women With Breast Cancer support group meets at the University Hospital Breast Health Center 12:30 p.m., Friday, Feb. 15. Call 706-7744141 or visit universityhealth.org.

Haven’t seen Le Chat Noir’s production of “Gruesome Playground Injuries” yet? Well, Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to check it out, since that’s the evening the black box theater will hold Cupid’s Cabaret. Tickets, however, are going fast for the Thursday, Feb. 14, at 8 p.m. performance. Call 706-722-3322 or visit lcnaugusta.com.

Look Good, Feel Better teaches beauty tips to female cancer patients dealing with appearance-related side effects of therapy and will be held 1-2:30 p.m., Monday, Feb. 18 at the Cancer Care Institute of Carolina at Aiken Regional Medical Centers. Registration required. Call 803-641-6044 or visit aikenregional.com. Prostate Cancer Support Group meets 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 19 at the Georgia Health Sciences Cancer Center in Augusta. Meets every third Tuesday. Call 706-721-0550 or visit gru.edu. Alzheimer’s Support Group meets 2 p.m. at St. Bartholomew’s Episcopal Church and 7 p.m. at Brandon Wilde, Tuesday, Feb. 19. Call 706-731-9060 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Alzheimer’s support group will meet 2 p.m. Tuesday, Feb. 19, at St. Bartholomew’s Episcopal Church and at 7 p.m. same day at Brandon Wilde. Call 706-731-9060. Cystectomy Support Group meets at the GRU Cancer Center, Tuesday, Feb. 19, at 2 p.m. Call 706-721-0550 gru.edu. Us-Too Prostate Cancer support group will meet at the Augusta Technical College for anyone touched by prostate cancer 7-8:30 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 19. Reservations required. Call 706-868-8758 or visit universityhealth.org. Celiac Support Group meets at Trinity Hospital of Augusta 7-8:30 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 19. Call 706-481-7000 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Blood Cancer/BMT Support Group meets 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m., Wednesday, Feb. 20, at the GRU Cancer Center in Augusta. Call 706-721-9134 or visit gru.edu. Trauma Support Group will be held noon-1 p.m., Wednesday, Feb. 20, on the fourth floor of the GRU Medical Center. Call 706-721-4633 or visit gru.edu. Spine Education and Support Group will be held at the University Hospital’s Levi Hill III Auditorium at 1-2:30 p.m., Wednesday, Feb. 20. Free. Call 706774-2760 or visit universityhealth.org. Weight Loss support group will meet at Doctors Hospital 6-7 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 21. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Education

Computer Hardware Basics will be offered in two sessions at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library 10 a.m., Thursday, Feb. 14 and Feb. 21. Registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Genealogy Club will be held at the Euchee Creek Branch library at 1 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 14. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. E-mailing for Beginners will be taught at the Wallace Library, 6-7:30 p.m., Friday, Feb. 15. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. 1970 Riot of Augusta Panel Discussion, presented by GRU’s Department of Communications, is Friday, Feb. 15, at 7 p.m. at the Maxwell Theatre and Saturday, Feb. 23, at 2 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Free and open to the public. Visit gru.edu. Introduction to Floral Designs, the third of a four-part series, will be offered at the Highgrove Club House in Evans from 8-11:30 a.m., Saturday, Feb. 16. $20 per session includes cost of textbook. Preregistration required. Refreshments provided. Call 706-556-3417 or visit gardenclub.org. Library E-books and Downloadable Audio Books Tutorial will be taught at the Friedman Library from 11 a.m.-noon, Saturday, Feb. 16. Call 706-7366758 or visit ecgrl.org. “Voices of the Past: A Petersburg Boat Pilot” will be shown at the Augusta Museum of History Theater 11:30 a.m., and 12:30 and 1:30 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 16. Free with museum admission. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. Meditation Class will be taught at The Kroc Center at 5 p.m., Sunday, Feb. 17 and 7:30 p.m., Wednesday, Feb. 20. Call 706-922-8334 or visit 14FEBRUARY2013

krocaugusta.org. Creating Flyers and Business Cards will be taught at the Wallace Library, 6-7:30 p.m., Sunday, Feb. 17. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. Climate Crisis Talk will be given by the Climate Reality Project to the local Sierra Club at the Unitarian Universalist Church in Augusta, 6:30 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 19. Open to the public. Call 706-650-8314. The Daddy Class will be taught at Doctors Hospital 7-9 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 19. Registration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Publisher I will be taught at the Headquarters Library 10 a.m.-noon, Wednesday, Feb. 20. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Intermediate Word Processing will be taught at Diamond Lakes Library in three sessions, 6 p.m., Wednesdays, Feb. 20 and 27, and March 6. Basic computer and word processing skills needed. Registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Internet I will be taught at the Appleby Library 11 a.m.-noon, Thursday, Feb. 21. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Powerful Tools for Caregivers will be taught at Doctors Hospital 2-3:30 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 21, for anyone caring for an elderly or chronically ill loved one. Call 706-651-2490 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Intermediate Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 2:30-4 p.m. at Friedman Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Beginner’s Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 4-5 p.m. at Friedman Library. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Free Tutoring for all ages, is offered at ASU’s Literacy Center, by appointment Monday-Thursday, from 4-8 p.m. Call 706-737-1625 or visit gru.edu. Guided tours of 1797 Ezekiel Harris House offered by appointment only Tuesday-Friday, and Saturday 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Last tours of the day begin at 4 p.m. Adults, $2; children, $1. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. Historic Trolley Tour of Augusta boards at the Augusta Museum of History at 1:30 p.m., Saturdays. See historic sites and hear spooky legends. $12, including admission to the museum. Reservations required 24 hours in advance. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustaga.org. Tours of the Boyhood Home of President Woodrow Wilson are held regularly. Adults $5; seniors $4; kids K-12 $3; under 5 years free. Reservations required for groups of 10 or more. Call 706-722-9828.

Sports-Outdoors

The Augusta Riverhawks play the Pensacola Ice Flyers Saturday, Feb. 16, at 7:35 p.m. and the Fayetteville FireAntz Sunday, Feb. 17, at 4:35 p.m. at the James Brown Arena. $10-$21. Call 706-993-2645 or visit augustariverhawks.com. Jag-A-Lympics will be held at the Jaguar Student Activities Sports Field 1-3 p.m., Wednesday, Feb. 20. Student organizations will compete in relay competitions. Call 706-737-1619 or visit gru.edu. Swim Team offered at the Wilson Family Y through March 1 with specific training in endurance and stroke. Visit thefamilyy.org. Kickball League registration is available for a new adult co-ed league that starts April 7 at Riverview Park. Call 941-716-3163 or visit augustakickball.com.

Free Tutoring for all ages, offered by GRU’s Literacy Center, is available by appointment Monday-Thursday, from 4-8 p.m., at the center at 1401 Magnolia Drive. Appointments required. Call 706-737-1625 or visit gru.edu.

Miracle League Baseball registration will be held by The Family Y through March 10. $40. Call 706-922-9597 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Guided tours of 1797 Ezekiel Harris House offered by appointment only Tuesday-Friday, and Saturday 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Last tours of the day begin at 4 p.m. Adults, $2; children, $1. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Wheelchair Tennis Clinic, presented by the Walton Foundation for Independence, meets each Monday at 6 p.m. (weather permitting) at The Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or email alsalley@wrh.org.

GED Classes are held Tuesdays and Thursdays from 5:30-8:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-8212600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Yoga Class at Euchee Creek Library meets every Tuesday at 4 p.m. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org.

English as a Second Language (ESL) classes are offered every Tuesday from 6-7:30 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Fort Gordon Toastmasters meets 11:30 a.m. each Wednesday in the Organizational Conference Room (Fish Bowl) on Fort Gordon Army base. Open to public. Visit fortgordon.toastmastersclubs.org. Adult Hebrew Class is taught at Congregation Children of Israel at 10:30 a.m. every Thursday. Email office@cciaugusta.org or visit cciaugusta.org. Computer classes are offered every Thursday at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org.

Weekly Group Runs include the Monday Metro Run meeting at Metro Coffeehouse at 6 p.m.; Monday Intervals meeting at the Family Y track on Wheeler Road at 7 p.m.; the Tuesday Nacho Mama’s Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Blanchard Woods Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday Stay in Shape Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Post Office Hill Training Run at 7 p.m.; Thursday’s Homer Hustle at 6 p.m.; and Saturday’s Stay in Shape Run at 8 a.m. Visit augustastriders.com. The Augusta Furies Women’s Rugby Football Club practices 6-8 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at Julian Smith Casino for players 18 and up. Email augusta.furies@gmail.com or visit augustafuries.org. The Augusta Rugby Club holds weekly practice sessions at 6:30 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the Larry Bray Memorial Pitch in Augusta. Experienced players and newbies ages 18 and up are welcome. Bring AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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a pair of cleats or cross trainers, a mouthguard, gym shorts and a T-shirt. Visit augustarugby.org or Facebook under the Augusta Rugby Club heading. Hott Shott Disc Golf is held each Wednesday at 7 p.m. at Killer B Disc Golf in downtown Augusta, and features games and prizes for all ages and skill levels. $2. Call 706-814-7514 or visit killerbdiscgolf.blogspot.com/p/ hott-shott. Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit chainreactionbicycles.net. Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. Entry fee, $5; ace pool, $1. Call 803-215-8181 or visit augustadiscgolf.com. Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706-724-6777 or visit andyjordans.com. Adapted Aquatics for Special Populations offered at the Wilson Family Y by appointment. Members, $11 per session; non-members, $22 per session. Discount for additional siblings. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. Augusta Canal Interpretive Center and Petersburg boat tours winter schedule runs through March 31 and is as follows: The center is open from 9:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Hour-long Petersburg boat canal tours depart at 11:30 a.m., 1:30 and 3 p.m. Admission to center is $6, or free with $12.50 boat tour ticket. Seniors 65 and older, active military/dependent and students (age 4-grade 12 or with valid college I.D.) are $2. One child under 3 per ticketed adult may get in free. Call 706-823-0440, ext. 4. Groups call ext. 7. Visit augustacanal.com.

Come in for a tour TODAY!

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&DOO.HOOLH3XJKDW WRVFKHGXOH\RXUSHUVRQDOWRXUWRGD\ 353 N. Belair Rd | Evans M O R N I N G S I D E O F E V A N S . C O M 22 METROSPIRITAUGUSTAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Stargazing at the Boyd Observatory is 5-7 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 16. Visit boydobservatory.org. Parents Night Out at the Family Y of Aiken County, for those ages 2-12, is Saturday, Feb. 16, from 5:30-9 p.m. $15, members; $25, non-members. Call 706922-9622 or visit thefamilyy.org. Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Date Night Out will be held at the Wilson Family Y on Saturday, Feb. 16. Kids enjoy activities from 6-11 p.m. for ages 4-13. Members, $15, non-members, $25. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Follow the Drinking Gourdâ&#x20AC;? will be presented at the DuPont Planetarium at 7 and 8 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 16. Learn how slaves used astronomy and song to escape slavery and travel the Underground Railroad to freedom. Weather permitting, after each show, the observatory and Bechtel telescope will be open for viewing. General admission, $4.50; grades 4K-12, $2.50; and seniors, $3.50. Children under 4 not permitted in public shows. Reservations encouraged. Call 803-641-3654. The World of Owls will be offered at Reed Creek Park for ages 5 and up 7-8 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 16. Registration required. Children must be accompanied by adult. Members, free; non-members, $3 per child. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com. Day Camp will be offered at the Kroc Center 9 a.m.-3 p.m., Monday and Tuesday, Feb. 18-19. Early drop-off and late pick-up available. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. School Days Out will be offered at the Wilson Family Y, 9 a.m.-4 p.m., Monday and Tuesday, Feb. 18-19. Early drop-off and late pick-up available. Members, $25; non-members, $50. Visit thefamilyy.org. School Day Out will be offered at the Family Y of Augusta South for ages 5-12 years, 9 a.m.-p.m., Monday-Tuesday, Feb. 18-19. Early drop-off and late pick-up available. Members, $25 a day; non-members, $35 a day. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Kids-Teens

Lego Club Meeting is Thursday, Feb. 14, from 4-5 p.m. at the Aiken Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Survival Skills From the Past will be offered by the Jr. Rangers at Mistletoe State Park in Appling from 9:30 a.m.-2 p.m., Monday, Feb. 18. Registration required. $20, plus $5 parking. Call 706-541-0321.

Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day Program is Thursday, Feb. 14, from 4-5 p.m. at North Augustaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Nancy Carson Library. Call 803-279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Schoolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Out Movie will be shown at the Diamond Lakes Library 2 p.m., Monday, Feb. 18. Bring your own snacks. Free. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Date Night Out will be held at the Family Y of Downtown Augusta on Thursday, Feb. 14. Kids enjoy activities from 5-11 p.m. for ages 2-12 at the Family Y of North Augusta, 6-11 p.m. for ages 4-13 at the Wilson Family Y, and from 4:30-9 p.m. for ages 2-12 at the Family Y of Downtown Augusta. Members, $15, non-members, $25. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Story Time, sponsored by the Morris Museum of Art, is Tuesday, Feb. 19, at 10 a.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Spire: Honoring Our Forgotten Firsts,â&#x20AC;? a celebration of Black History Month, will be held at Davidson Fine Arts Magnet School 7 p.m., Thursday-Friday, Feb. 14-15. Reserved seating. $7-$10. Call 706-823-6924, ext. 124, or visit davidsonfinearts.org.

Job and Career Resources will be offered for older teens at the Diamond Lakes Library 2 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 19. Basic computer skills and registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

Parents Night Out at the Family Y of North Jefferson, for ages 8 weeks-12 years, is Friday, Feb. 15, from 5-9 p.m. Call 706-922-9622 or visit thefamilyy.org. Father-Daughter Dance will be held at the Family Y of Augusta South Saturday, Feb. 16. Members, free; nonmembers, $15 per couple; each additional daughter, $5. Visit thefamilyy.org. Babysitting Course, for those ages 11 and older, is Saturday, Feb. 16, from 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. $50, members; $60, non-members. Lunch is not included and pre-registration is required. Call 706364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Marvelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Avengerâ&#x20AC;? will be shown at the Appleby Library 2 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 19, for ages 13 and older. Refreshments served. Bring a cushion or blanket to sit on. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

Schoolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Out movie matinee will be held at the Friedman Library 2:30 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 19. Free. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. All About Animals Story Time will be offered at the Headquarters Branch Library, Wednesday, Feb. 20, at 10 a.m. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Art Education: Story and Craft for Kids will be offered at the Maxwell Library 10-11 a.m., Wednesday, Feb. 20. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. French Language Class, for those in grades 1-5, is Wednesday, Feb. 20, at 4 p.m. at the Aiken Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org. 14FEBRUARY2013

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Big Brother/Big Sister Class is at 6-7:30 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 21, at Doctors Hospital to help kids adjust to having a new baby brother or sister. Call 706651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

FORT GORDON DINNER THEATRE PRESENTS

Basketball Camp is at the Family Y of Downtown Augusta for kids age 13-17 years. Practice is on Tuesdays; games are on Saturdays. Season is Feb. 18-March 30. Members, $35; non-members, $70. Registration available through Feb. 20. Visit thefamilyy.org. Celebrate Black History Month Contest is offered at the Headquarters Branch Library through Feb. 28. Stop by the children’s desk and pick up a contest form. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Kroc Tots Activity Hour for toddlers are held at Fridays in February at 9:30 a.m. Members, free; nonmembers, $1. Visit krocaugusta.org. Swim Lessons are offered at the Wilson Family Y and the Family Y of Downtown Augusta for all skill levels from 6 months to adult beginners. Held in four-week sessions with twice-weekly classes through March 28. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Tae Kwon Do is offered for all skill levels age 5 and up at the Family Y of Aiken County, North Augusta, Augusta South and the Wilson Family Y. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Winter Basketball is held through March at the Family Y of North Jefferson for ages 7-18 years. Members, $30; non-members, $50. Call 706-547-2653 or visit thefamilyy.org. African-American History Month Trivia Contest is offered at the Columbia County Library for ages 8-11. Pick up a form from the registration desk, fill it out and drop it in the contest box. A prize will be awarded for the entry with the most correct answers and will be announced in February. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m., and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call 803-6427631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Creative Arts offered at the Family Y of North Augusta for ages 5-12 years. Members, $35 per month; nonmembers, $55 per month. Visit thefamilyy.org. Toddler Time, playtime for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and Wednesday from 9:30-11:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. $2 per visit; $16 per 10-visit pass. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Mother’s Morning Out is offered at the Family Y of North Augusta for ages 2-4 years, 9 a.m.-noon, either Monday and Wednesday or Tuesday and Thursday. Mothers enjoy a relaxing morning twice a week while kids learn. Members, $70 a month; non-members, $90 a month. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Drop and Shop is offered at The Family Y of Augusta South for kids age 8 weeks-4 years, 8:30 a.m.-noon, Monday-Friday. Members, $5 a child per day; nonmembers, $7 a child per day. No reservation required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Little Friends Gym, a parent and child class for those ages 6 months-4 years, is held each Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov. Story Time is held at the Columbia County Library at 10:15 and 11 a.m. Tuesdays, for kids under 2 years old; at 10:15 a.m. Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for 2-year-olds; at 11 a.m., Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for preschoolers; and at 4 p.m. Wednesdays for all ages. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org.

March 1, 2, 7, 8, 9, 14, 15, 16, 2013 Dinner 7:00 p.m. | Show 8:00 p.m. Book by Heather Hach Music and Lyrics by Laurence O’Keefe and Nell Benjamin Based on the novel by Amanda Brown and the Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer motion picture Harvard’s beloved blonde takes the stage by pink storm in this fun, upbeat musical about self-discovery. Based on the adored movie, LEGALLY BLONDE: THE MUSICAL stays true to form with a peppy score and playful book. This musical is ridiculously enjoyable from start to finish. “Very funny. Zips by in an explosion of witty musical numbers and dance routines. Even the most dour character must surely leave the theatre secretly humming the catchy soundtrack.” – Daily Post “A modern fairytale. An enormous treat, not to be missed.” – Evening Chronicle

MENU

London Broil with Merlot Sauce, Seafood Alfredo, Honey Dijon Chicken, Philly Mashed Potatoes, Nutty Rice Pilaf, Cumin Roasted Carrots, Whole Green Beans, Mini Salad Bar, Iced tea or Starbucks Coffee, Deluxe Dessert Bar

TICKETS

Civilians: $45 | Seniors (65 & over), Retirees, DA Civilians, Active-Duty E7 & above: $43 Active-Duty E6 & below: $35 | Show only: $30

For reservations, call 706-793-8552

Loud Crowd, a supervised after-school program for 14FEBRUARY2013

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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those ages 4-12, is Monday-Friday from 3-6 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-8602833 or visit augustaga.gov. Homeschool PE Time, for elementary school aged kids, meets Monday-Friday, from 9-11 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Members free. Call 706-364-5762 for nonmember prices. Visit krocaugusta.org. Mother’s Morning Out is every Tuesday and Thursday, 9 a.m.-1 p.m., at the Wilson Family Y for children ages 3-4. The schedule follows the Richmond County school calendar. $90 per month for members; $110 per month for non-members. Register at any Family Y or visit thefamilyy.org. Story Time is held at the Diamond Lakes Branch library 10 a.m. each Tuesday. Registration required for groups of six or more. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Tai Chi Panda, a Chinese martial arts program for kids ages 5-13, meets Tuesdays and Thursdays. Ages 5-7 meet at 4 p.m.; ages 8-10 meet at 5 p.m.; ages 11-13 meet at 6 p.m. Call 706-394-0590 or visit augustameditation.com/taichi.html. Preschool Story Time is every Tuesday at Headquarters Branch Library at 10 a.m. Toddler Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is held every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Friedman Branch Library. Groups of six or more must pre-register. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Harlem Branch Library. Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org. Lap-Sit Story Time, for children under 2, is held every Tuesday at the Columbia County Library at 11 a.m. Story time for 2-year-olds is every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday at 10:15 a.m. and for preschoolers at 11 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-8631946 or visit ecgrl.org.

Mudpuppies, an arts and crafts program for ages 2-5, is held each Thursday at 10:45 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov. The Augusta Arsenal Soccer Club Junior Academy, for boys and girls ages 5-8, meets each Thursday at 5:30 p.m. at the Augusta Soccer Park. Call 706-854-0149 or visit augustasoccer.com. Fairy Tale Ballet is held at the Family Y of Aiken County. Offered once a week for one month for a total of four classes. Members, $25 a month; non-members, $35 a month. Visit thefamilyy.org. Boy and Girl Scout troops are hosted by Augusta Jewish Community Center. For Boy Scouts, visit troop119bsa.com or email geoffstew@gmail.com. For Girl Scouts, email sbehrend@bellsouth.net. For Daisy/ Brownie Troop, email bdmrev@yahoo.com. Creek Freaks, a Georgia Adopt-a-Stream team of middle- and high-school students, meets regularly at Phinizy Swamp Nature Park to monitor the health of Butler Creek. Call 706-796-7707 or visit naturalscienceacademy.org. Fun-Time Fridays, for ages 2-5, is held each Friday at 10:45-11:30 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov. Gesher, a teen program for post b’nai mitzvah youngsters (7th-12th grade), meets every other Sunday at Adas Yeshurun Synagogue. Call 706-7339491.

Seniors

Medicare and You will be held at The Kroc Center 11 a.m., Thursday, Feb. 14. Free. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Bingo will be offered at Trinity Hospital as part of their Senior Circle activities 10:30 a.m.-noon, Tuesday, Feb. 19. Call 706-481-7000 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Story Time is held every Wednesday from 10-11:15 a.m. at Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org.

AARP Tax Aide allows seniors to have their returns prepared for free at The Kroc Center through April 15. Call 706-364-4064 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Story Time is held each Wednesday at 10 a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Pre-registration required for groups. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org.

Hobbies

Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children’s department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com. Story Time is held each Wednesday at the Appleby Branch Library from 10:05-10:20 a.m. for toddlers age 18-35 months, and from 10:30-11:15 a.m. for preschool kids age 3 and up. An adult must remain with the child. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Wednesday at 10:15 a.m. for pre-K, and either 11 or 11:30 a.m. for preschoolers at Aiken County Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org. Story Time is every Wednesday from 10:30-11 a.m. for toddlers and 11:15-11:45 a.m. for preschoolers at North Augusta Branch Library. Call 803-279-5767 or abbe-lib.org. Story Time at the Euchee Creek Branch Library, for all ages, is held each Wednesday at 10:30 a.m. and each Tuesday at 4:30 p.m. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Study Hall for teens meets Wednesdays from 3-5 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-8212600 or visit ecgrl.org/teens. Homeschool Playgroup meets each Thursday at 10:30 a.m. at Creighton Park in North Augusta. Call 803613-0484. 24 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Genealogy Club will meet at the Euchee Creek Library 1 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 14. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Italian Adventure wine-tasting seminar will be held at Wine World in North Augusta 7 p.m., Friday, Feb. 15. Reservations, $15; door, $20. Call 803-279-9522 or visit wineworldsc.com. Bingo is held every Sunday at 1:30 p.m. and every Monday and Thursday at 7 p.m. at the Fraternal Order of the Eagles Post 1197 on Scott Road. Free. Call 706-495-3219.

Crafters Night is each Monday from 6-8 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

respond to hospitals in their area within 30 minutes. Call 706-774-2746 or email volunteerrcsas@uh.org.

Simple Cooking Class meets each Monday from 6:308:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Reed Creek Park offers opportunities to volunteers interested in collecting important data each month on the health of a local stream for the state of Georgia. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com.

The Garden City Chorus, the area’s leading men’s singing group and a member of the Barbershop Harmony Society, is seeking new members. Those interested are welcome to attend Tuesday night rehearsals, held at 7 p.m. at North Augusta Church of Christ on W. Martintown Road. Visit gardencitychorus.org. Weekly Wine Tastings at Vineyard Wine Market in Evans are held 4:30-6:30 p.m. Fridays, and 1-6 p.m. Saturdays. Call 706-922-9463 or visit vine11.com. Bingo is held every Saturday at 1 p.m. at American Legion Post 205 on Highland Avenue. Call 706-495-3219.

Spiritual

“One More River” will be reviewed at Augusta Jewish Community Center, following Kiddush on Saturday, Feb. 16. Visit augustajcc.org. “The Lemba Jews of Zimbabwe” with Modreck Zvakavapano Maeresera will be viewed at Augusta Jewish Community Center at 2:30 p.m., Sunday, Feb. 17. Visit augustajcc.org.

United Hospice of Aiken, which covers Aiken, Edgefield, McCormick, Barnwell and Allendale counties, needs volunteers to visit with patients or work in the office. Training is provided. Call 803-641-0060 or email kathibault@uhs-pruitt.com.

Elsewhere

Contra Dance will be held at the Arsenal Hill Park Building in Columbia, S.C., 6:15-10:30 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 16. General admission $8, students $5 with student I.D. Call 803-760-5881, email info@ contracola.org or visit contracola.org. Wild Gourmet in Winter Potluck will be held at Mistletoe State Park in Appling, Sunday, Feb. 17. It will be a hearty raccoon barbeque with an acorn side dish. Potluck dishes must contain at least one wild ingredient. Learn how to find wild edibles. $5 parking. Call 706-541-0321 or visit gastateparks.org.

Volunteer

Karate is offered at The Family Y of Thomson 130 Center and Family Y of North Jefferson for all skill levels. Members, $43 a month; non-members, $63 a month. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.

GRU Cancer Center encourages cancer survivors and caregivers to apply for volunteer positions. Call 706721-3596 or visit gru.edu.

“Impressionism from Monet to Matisse” exhibit will be on display at the Columbia Museum of Art through April 21. Adults, $15; seniors and military, $12; students, $5; kids 5 and under, free; members, free. Call 803-799-2810 or visit columbiamuseum.org.

Aiken Regional Medical Centers is looking for volunteers. Call 803-641-5021 or visit aikenregional.com.

The Greater Augusta Arts Council offers volunteer opportunities for those interested in volunteering for events like Arts in the Heart, First Friday and special concerts, as well as helping in the GAAC office. Call 706-826-4702 or visit augustaarts.com. Hospice Care of America’s Augusta office needs administrative and patient care volunteers. No experience necessary; training will be provided. Call Rich Boland at 706-447-2626 or email rboland@ msa-corp.com. MACH Academy is looking for volunteers to provide tutoring, academic support and mentoring services during fall after-school sessions held MondayThursday from 3:30-6 p.m. Call 706-796-5046, email mparks37@comcast.net or visit machacademy.com. Miracle League Baseball, held by the Family Y, is looking for volunteers. Call 706-922-9597 or visit thefamilyy.org.

“Anxious Visions” by surrealist Michael Northuis will be on display at the Columbia Museum of Art until April 7. Call 803-799-2810 or visit columbiamuseum.org. “Sketching Politics,” an exhibit of political cartooning, will be on display at Hickory Hill historic house in Thomson through April 15. General admission, $3; seniors, $2; children, $1. School and educational groups are admitted for free, but must make reservations. Visit hickory-hill.org. Thursday Nights at the High, a special event at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta, offers half-price tickets from 4-8 p.m. each Thursday. A guided tour is offered at 6:30 p.m. Call 404-733-4200 or visit high.org.

If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at amy@themetrospirit.com. The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

Rape Crisis and Sexual Assault Services is seeking volunteer advocates for Richmond, Burke, Jefferson and McDuffie counties. Advocates answer crisis calls and

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Down to Augusta

Legendary metal band announces local show

Over the last couple of weeks I have been able to announce some cool shows coming to Augusta. Alice in Chains at the Bell Auditorium on May 1 has to be my highlight of them all so far. This past Monday was no exception, when I was able to announce legendary metal group Down would be gracing us with its presence at Sky City on May 27. Maybe “grace” is not the right word to use when describing Down; fierce, loud and intense may fit a little better. Lead by former Pantera frontman Phil Anselmo, Down has been a staple in the metal community since the ‘90s. At the beginning of their demise, Pantera was one of the elites. No one was better. Their 1994 album “Far Beyond Driven” is still one of my favorite metal albums of all time, and actually debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard music charts. Even with the band’s success, the following year is when Anselmo released Down’s first album, “NOLA.” Though there was some criticism from the devout Pantera fans, mainly mad that Anselmo was giving Pantera the cold shoulder, Down proved that as long as Phil was the lead, the band would be on top. Throughout the years, Down has went on multiple hiatuses and through multiple member changes, but still proves to be a top act and one of the most requested to promoter Steve Hall, who is bringing Down to Augusta. This show will be insane, loud and full of black T-shirts and extra security. Tickets go on sale, Friday, February 15, at noon. For only $20 in advance, I vote on buying tickets early. Even though the Fat Saturday Pub Crawl was last weekend, I have a feeling I am going to be bar hopping again this weekend. There are two shows on Saturday night that I am looking forward to and I don’t plan on missing. The first show is AcostA at Stillwater. This is AcostA’s first appearance at Stillwater and I already see myself there with a Hoplanta, my favorite beer at Stillwater. AcostA should be hitting the stage at 10 p.m., which works out great, because Ponderosa hits the stage at 11:30 at Sky City. I have been waiting for this band to return to Augusta. Ponderosa is one of those bands that just blows you away. Ponderosa will be joined by Cute Boots and Tikka, and it’s only $5. I recommend you download Ponderosa’s latest album, “Pool Party,” and get ready to see one of the next big bands. Mark my words. If your Monday is open, you can head back down to Sky City for an early nosmoking show with Fishbone! That’s right, Fishbone. I was going to try and describe Fishbone, but that’s tough. Do rock, funk and punk cover it? Barely. This show is $10 in advance and $15 day of show. Have you seen some boobs for free lately? Okay, that came out wrong, let me explain. On Thursday, February 21, The Playground Bar welcomes back the Barb Wire Dolls. The reason I mention boobs is because last time they performed you could see some thanks to their lead singer, and let me tell you, they were glorious. The band is great live, so venture on over to the Playground for that. I don’t know if this week’s article is all about Sky City or that they just have a ton of things going on over there, but mark your calendars for the 2013 Lokal Loudness Choice Awards on Friday, February 22. The annual awards show features some of your favorites from around the CSRA. Along with handing out some awards, enjoy live music from Celia Gary, False Flag, She N’ She, Stillview and The Ramblin’ Fevers. $5 will get you in the door, so go support local music. Side note: the Grammys were this past Sunday night. Wow, does that award show suck or what? That’s a serious question; I skipped that crap and watched “The Walking Dead.” What shows are coming to Augusta? Who do you want to see? Who’s your favorite member of GWAR? Email me at matt@themetrospirit.com.

MATTSTONE can be heard weekdays from 2-6 p.m. on 95 Rock.

| W W W. W I L D W I N G C A F E . C O M 14FEBRUARY2013

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FEATURED

February 14 14Thursday, Live Music

5 O’Clock Bistro - The Henrys Bell Auditorium - Ronnie Milsap Cotton Patch - Old Man Crazy French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Smooth Jazz James Brown Arena - Winter Jam w/ TobyMac, RED, Matthew West, Jamie Grace, Sidewalk Prophets and Royal Tailor Joe’s Underground - Jeff Johnston Malibu Jack’s - Ke-Ju Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Live and Local Rose Hill Estate - Preston Weston & Sandra Somewhere In Augusta - J.C. Bridwell Surrey Tavern - Open Jam Session The Willcox - Four Cats in a Doghouse Wild Wing - John Kolbeck

Grammy winner TobyMac will headline the Winter Jam 2013 Tour Spectacular Thursday, February 14, at 7 p.m. at the James Brown Arena. Also featuring RED, Matthew West, Jamie Grace, Sidewalk Prophets and Royal Tailor, with a message from national speaker Nick Hall, the event also includes the Youth Music Vault Pre-Jam Party, which will include performances from Jason Castro, OBB and Capital Kings. Door open at 6 p.m. and tickets are $10 at the door. Visit augustaentertainmentcomplex.com.

What’s Tonight?

Chevy’s Nite Club - Karaoke Club Argos - Valentine’s Sweetheart Party Cocktails Lounge - Karaoke Coyote’s - DJ Richie Rich & Chad Mac Music Video Mixx Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Trivia, Soup and Suds Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Highlander - Butt Naked Trivia The Loft - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) - Karaoke The Playground - Open Mic with Brandy Shannon’s - Karaoke Villa Europa - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - ’80s Night Karaoke

February 15 15Friday, Live Music

100 Laurens - John Kolbeck Carolina Ale House - Old Man Crazy Chevy’s Nite Club - Live Music Country Club - John King Band Coyote’s - Dave Firmin, Rhes Reeves & the Coyote Band Doubletree - Classic Jazz First Round - John Berret’s LaRoxes French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Imperial Theatre - Mike Farris & the Roseland Rhythm Revue James Brown Arena - Brantley Gilbert, Kip Moore Joe’s Underground - Impulse Ride Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Shameless Dave & The Miracle Whips Malibu Jack’s - David Heath Perfect Picture PI Bar & Grill - Jazz Duo Playoffs Sports Bar & Grill - The Southern Meltdown Band Polo Tavern - Pretty Petty Sky City - DJ Doc Roc & Friends Somewhere In Augusta - Conner Pledger Stillwater Taproom - The Corduroy Road, Have Gun Will Travel Surrey Tavern - Funk You Wild Wing - Dave Firman & Ruff Runners

What’s Tonight?

Cocktails Lounge - Grown-Up Fridays with DJ Cork and Bull Pub - Karaoke Eagle’s Nest - Free Salsa Lessons; Latin Dance Party Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke 14FEBRUARY2013

Iron Horse Bar & Grill - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Three J’s Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Palmetto Tavern - DJ Tim The Playground - DJ Rebeck’s Hideaway - Open Mic Roadrunner Cafe - Karaoke with Steve Chappel Soul Bar - Pop Life Wooden Barrel - Karaoke Contest

16

Saturday, February 16 Live Music

100 Laurens - Terry Bouknight The Acoustic Coffeehouse - Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Chevy’s Nite Club - Live Music Country Club - Old Southern Moonshine Revival Coyote’s - Dave Firmin, Rhes Reeves & the Coyote Band Joe’s Underground - John Kolbeck MAD Studios - Jerod Gay Malibu Jack’s - Preston and Weston P.I. Bar and Grill - Not Gaddy Jazz with Pam Bowman Polo Tavern - Pretty Petty Rub It In Lounge - The Jeremy Graham Band Sky City - Ponderosa, Tikka, Cute Boots Somewhere In Augusta - Impulse Ride Stillwater Taproom - Acosta Surrey Tavern - Machine Funk (Widespread Panic Tribute) Wild Wing - JC Birdwell

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Variety Show Cocktails Lounge - Latin Night Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Loft - DJ Richie Rich Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Rockin Rob Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Robbie’s - Saturday Night Dance Party Wooden Barrel - Kamikaze Karaoke

February 17 17Sunday, Live Music

5 O’Clock Bistro - The Henry’s Cotton Patch - Keith Gregory (brunch) MAD Studios - Ever Ending Kicks, Gregory Rooftop Wariner Malibu Jack’s - Playback The Band w/ Tutu Dy’Vine Patridge Inn - Sunday Evening Jazz w/ the Not Gaddy Jazz Trio Wild Wing - Digital Summer The Willcox - Jon Vaughn, brunch; Preston & Weston, night

What’s Tonight?

Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke, Salsa Dancing Shannon’s - Karaoke with Peggy Gardner

February 18 18Monday, Live Music Shannon’s - Open Mic Night Sky City - Fishbone

What’s Tonight?

Applebee’s (Evans) - Trivia Club Argos - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Trivia Robolli’s - Trivia with Mike Thomas Somewhere in Augusta - Poker

February 19 19Tuesday, Live Music The Highlander - Open Mic Night Shannon’s - Karaoke Contest The Willcox - Piano jazz

What’s Tonight?

Chevy’s Nite Club - Shag Night Club Argos - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Dart League Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane Limelight Cafe - Bottom’s Up Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Trivia The Playground - Truly Twisted Trivia with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke Shannon’s - Karaoke with Mike Johnson

Somewhere In Augusta - Big Prize Trivia Surrey Tavern - Tubeday Tuesday Movie Night

February 20 20Wednesday, Live Music Chevy’s Nite Club - Steve Chappel French Market Grille West - Old Man Crazy Joe’s Underground - Sibling String Malibu Jack’s - Marilyn Adcock

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Santoni’s Satin Dolls Cocktails Lounge - Augusta’s Got Talent Cotton Patch - Trivia and Tunes Hotel Aiken - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane The Loft - Karaoke Midtown Lounge - Karaoke w/ Charles O’Byrne Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Rockin’ Rob The Playground - Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Somewhere In Augusta - Comedy Zone w/ Valerie Storm & Greg Hall Surrey Tavern - Trivia with Christian and Mickey Wild Wing - Trivia

Upcoming

Mother the Car w/ Shaun Piazza & Billie Vacation Sky City February 21 Brent Lundy - 100 Laurens February 22 Ross Coppley - Country Club February 22 TX Clergy - Joe’s Underground February 22 Awkward Exit - Polo Tavern February 22 The Burning Angels - Stillwater Taproom February 22 Keith Gregory - 100 Laurens February 23 Chris Lane Band - Country Club February 23 Jeff Johnston - Joe’s Underground February 23 Josh Pierce - Metro Coffeehouse & Pub February 23 Robbie Ducey Band - Polo Tavern February 23 Some Machine w/ Six, F.O.C.U.S., Celia Gary - Sky City February 23 First Born - Soul Bar February 23 Jesup Dolly - Stillwater Taproom February 23 The Cheaters - Surrey Tavern February 23 High Maintenance - Wild Wing February 23 5 O’Clock Bistro - Funk You February 24 AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 29

THE

EIGHT

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BOX TOPS

The movie may not be as good as she is, but we love that Melissa McCarthy is sticking it to her critics. RANK

TITLE

WEEKEND GROSS

TOTAL GROSS

WEEK #

LAST WEEK

1

IDENTITY THIEF

$34,551,025

$34,551,025

1

-

2

WARM BODIES

$11,356,090

$36,481,172

2

1

3

SIDE EFFECTS

$9,303,145

$9,303,145

1

-

4

SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK

$6,425,271

$89,519,510

13

3

5

HANSEL AND GRETEL

$5,753,165

$43,836,018

3

2

SAMEIFLING

“Identity Thief”

Not a movie worthy of its star’s talents Landing as it did just as the ol’ “why are there no funny women?” debate was clearing its throat again, 2011’s “Bridesmaids” was one of the best-timed comedies of the past decade. The breakout star of the ensemble was Melissa McCarthy, who put clichés to shame by being hilarious, and a woman, and of the robust physical proportions that Hollywood usually shuns. Critics and audiences gushed in harmony: Get that woman more work. Well, someone did, installing McCarthy as the title crook in “Identity Thief.” And with that, we’ve taken a step backward. It would be fair to say McCarthy is curiously unfunny in “Identity Thief,” except almost nothing in “Identify Thief” is funny, obviating any curiosity. It’s occasionally amusing, mostly flat and rote and dopey. McCarthy is scattershot, while the sap whose credit line she has pirated, Jason Bateman, is checkerboard-square and delivers all the laughs of your average nutrition label. They have a touch of comedic chemistry but nothing to work from. Gosh, it’s as if director Seth Gordon (“Horrible Bosses”) and screenwriter Craig Mazin (two “Scary Movie” sequels) stole from the two leads the very individual essence that made them them. If only we had a word for that. Bateman and McCarthy begin the movie both using the name Sandy Patterson. He is the real Sandy: He has a pregnant wife, a couple of spunky kids and a midlevel job at a financial firm in Denver made unbearable by his condescending cheapskate boss. He quits when coworkers, led by “Harold & Kumar” alum John Cho, break away to start a rival firm. As Sandy’s life dangles in that balance, he realizes his credit cards have all been maxed out and a warrant is out for his arrest. He saves his job only by proving his identity has been stolen and, via the magic of movie logic, decides to travel to Florida to coax his tormentor back to Denver to fess up. McCarthy doesn’t relent easily. She’s the picture of a frizz-haired human sneer, running constant low-grade cons and partial to a devastating little trachea-jab. Her snitty criminal — who agrees to roll with Sandy in part to escape a pair of drug

FEBRUARY 15 ACTION

“A Good Day to Die Hard,” rated R, starring Bruce Willis, Jai Courtney. Is Picard the big bad guy in this one? That would probably be the only thing that would tempt us into seeing this franchise’s fifth outing.

DRAMA

“Beautiful Creatures,” rated PG-13, starring Alice Englert, Viola Davis, Emma Thompson, Jeremy Irons, Emma Rossum. Based on the four-book young adult series, this supernatural southern gothic looks like it might be a throwaway… until you notice some of the big names attached. 30 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

cartel goons and a bounty hunter played by erstwhile liquid terminator Robert Patrick — softens over the course of their journey north. And there it becomes clear that “Identity Thief” doesn’t have any ear at all for tone. Is it a madcap getaway movie? A physical comedy? A live-action “Financial Crimes For Dummies”? A pat, family-friendly redemption story? Or a take-noprisoners raunch-romp about taking a prisoner? “Identity Thief” never picks. It dooms itself as a grab bag that winds up as an inert lump of attempted emotions and aborted giggles. As shaky as it was, it hauled in $36 million its first weekend out to win the box office. Americans followed through on their stated intention to patronize another McCarthy movie, even if they’re quickly realizing this isn’t the one they wanted. Maybe now that we know she’s bankable, someone should get that woman some work worthy of her talents.

DRAMA

“Safe Haven,” rated PG-13, starring Julianne Hough, Josh Duhamel, Cobie Smulders. Director Lasse Hallstrom has directed classics such as “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape” and “Chocolat.” Now he’s directing a Nicholas Sparks melodrama starring Julianne Hough. Wow. Guess Seacrest has a lot more power than we thought. Stupid Seacrest.

FAMILY

“Escape From Planet Earth,” rated PG, featuring the voices of Brendan Fraser, Sarah Jessica Parker, Jessica Alba, Rob Corddry. An astronaut responds to a cry from help and finds that he’s the one who needs it. 14FEBRUARY2013

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XX XX

Because it was recommended to me, I read a parenting book today. I don’t have anything against books on being a parent, and I’m certainly no expert in the field, but I usually stay away from such things. It’s easy to get wrapped up in this philosophy or that without paying attention to doing what works best for your child or your family. This one struck me, though. Besides, it is somewhat controversial. Count me in. After I quickly skimmed the book, my first thought was, “If this is so freakin’ revolutionary and controversial, I must be a revolutionary and controversial parent.” My second thought was, “What the hell are the rest of the parents out there doing, if this seemingly normal and rational parenting style makes them so very upset?” Maybe I am abnormal and controversial. The book is called “Bebe Day by Day: 100 Keys to French Parenting.” The author, Pamela Druckerman, caught a lot of criticism for her first book, “Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting.” I didn’t read it, but all sorts of moms (and probably dads, I guess) tore her apart for the ideas she shared. When I heard about “Bébé Day by Day,” I was intrigued. Druckerman goes through a list of French parenting techniques that she found useful during her time in France. One hundred, to be exact. She breaks them up in to chapters like “A Croissant in the Oven” and “Just Say Non.” I wish I could comment on every one. Fortunately for you, my space is limited. Some of my favorites: Pregnancy is Not an Independent Research Project. Seriously. A little mystery isn’t a bad thing. A lot of joy is pretty amazing. As soon as I got the plus sign on the pee stick, I ran out to buy “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” Once I started to read it, though, it seemed like too much info. Don’t get me wrong, I like answers. I ask a lot of questions. You can ask my OB. He fielded an index card’s worth at every visit. There is such a thing as too much info. In this chapter she also mentions that a calm mama is a better mama, men don’t absolutely have to see everything during labor (though if they want to that’s totally cool), and epidurals aren’t evil. As a matter of fact, French women believe in the ultimate goal of safely getting the kid from the womb and into its mama’s arms. It’s up to her (and the daddy or doula or midwife or doctor or all) to facilitate the process in the way best suited to them and their needs.

I love the next chapter. Called “Bébé Einstein,” it addresses the forced education, competition and participation that so many American parents impart on their bebes. Everyone is constantly worrying that their child isn’t reading yet, can’t spell or doesn’t know his addition tables. Do we worry as much about the fact that our kids are kind and compassionate and know how to relax when the time comes? I know we’ve been careful about putting our kids into activities that they really enjoy. As a matter of fact, we recently had The Boy rank his five involvements that take place throughout the year. We were surprised by the order, but it helped us eliminate the things that he didn’t care about as much. She talks about the French way of feeding children, which includes enforcing the Just a Bite to be Polite rule, which we have always employed, and being sure the kids fit in to the family eating schedule. Never get in the habit of cooking “kid foods” for the kids. The kids aren’t in charge. I laughed out loud when she brought up the fact that French parents don’t let their kids interrupt. WHO HERE LETS THEIR KIDS INTERRUPT THEM? Sorry, I don’t mean to yell. French parents (and the book’s author) make a really good point. Kids shouldn’t interrupt their parents. Hell, I was taught that kids never interrupt any adults. Which of you out there are trying to change that? Someone must be, or this wouldn’t be a novel idea, and this book wouldn’t have gotten so much criticism. Kids aren’t in charge. The French recognize that kids can and will learn to soothe themselves and fall asleep on their own. Man, I should’ve been French. Baby formula isn’t poison. I was raised solely on formula. Most of my friends were, too. I chose to nurse my babies, but I’m not gonna tell my neighbor that she’s poisoning her sweet, newborn nearly six pounder with Similac. That’s because she isn’t. Sure, breast milk is important. I totally agree. Sometimes, it isn’t an option. So maybe what Druckerman is pointing out isn’t anything we haven’t heard before. I think we should listen, though. It’s simple. Love your kids. Listen to them. Teach them respect. Remember that they’re people, too, and give them the credit they deserve. I’m not telling you to move to France. Maybe drinking a bunch of French wine would be good for all of us. Cheese is good, too. I’m not talking about the processed American “cheese” either.

JENNYWRIGHT lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis.

32 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

14FEBRUARY2013

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V24|NO07

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Walt Hunt, Kelsey Shanks and Zach Autrey at Limelite Cafe.

SIGHTINGS

Dallas Tranum, season 2 winner of Last Comic Standing John Heffron and Wayne Judy at the Comedy Zone at Somewhere in Augusta.

Met Rogers, Enka Parker and Eric Cothran at Whiskey Bar (Kitchen).

SIGHTINGS

Eddie Montgomery with Ann Marie and Vann Marshall and Troy Gentry at the Music for Memories concert at the Country Club.

Janet McKnight, Andrea Bussey, American Idol winner Scotty McCreery and Jan Wiggins at the Jud C. Hickey Center for Alzheimer Care.

SIGHTINGS

Jon and Amy Slagle with Joey Tobias at Chevy’s Nite Club.

Bryan and Brooke King with April and Jonathan Kereis at Chevy’s Nite Club.

Singer-songwriter Joe Stevenson, Brier Hazell and WB of Kicks 99 at the Music for Memories concert at the Country Club.

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Josh Covington, Kiz Malpass and Christy Starnes at Wild Wing Cafe.

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14FEBRUARY2013

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AMYCHRISTIAN

Hog Wild

Second Annual Wine & Swine to benefit the First Tee of Augusta Eight hundred people showed up to last year’s inaugural Wine & Swine, a barbecue cook-off and wine tasting benefit for the First Tee of Augusta. This year, organizers are expecting to double that number, and have made many changes and improvements to reflect what they learned on their first outing. One of most important things they learned from their first event is that runners get hungry. And you don’t want to make a hungry runner mad. “Last year, we had the run right at the start of the event and people were really upset because there wasn’t much barbecue left and there wasn’t much wine left because they finished the run pretty late,” said organizer Havird Usry of Fat Man’s Mill Cafe. “So this year, we’re doing the run at 10 o’clock and the event actually kicks off at 11, so those folks can eat.” Havird quickly added that while those participating in the I Run Augusta 5K get a great deal — the $25 entry ($30 on race day) gets them the race, a T-shirt and entry into Wine & Swine — those who don’t feel like running or walking 3.1 miles before digging in don’t have to. “All you have to do is show up, pay $20 and you get a punch card for 10 tastes of wine,” he explained. “The barbecue’s unlimited, so they can go around to each team and get a sample cup.” Wine & Swine started when Havird’s father Brad heard of similar events in other places and decided that the Augusta area needed something to fill the void that typifies

14FEBRUARY2013

this time of year. “In the springtime, or in the winter and springtime in Augusta, you’ve got the Masters and that’s really it,” Havird explained. “And the barbecue folks that sanction this event to make it an actual cook-off, this is their first event of the year, so it’s actually good for all the professional cooks. They’re just starting to get tuned up for their big season.” Wine & Swine is sanctioned by the Southern Barbecue Network (SBN) and attracts grillmasters from around the region. Havird says they’re expecting about 26 teams, who will begin cooking the night before with meats that he’ll order to the SBN’s standards through Fat Man’s food vendor, US Foods. The number of teams is one reason they decided to move venues from the GreenJackets Stadium, where the event was last year, to the Train Depot. Different teams, he said, will have different turn-in times, so food will be available throughout the day. Celebrity judges like Clint Bryant, Austin Rhodes, Liz Hill and possibly Mayor Deke Copenhaver will be on hand and an awards ceremony will take place between 3-4 p.m. The event isn’t just for professional teams, however. “We also have a Backyard category for local folks who want to come out and cook,” Havird said, adding that the winner in this category will get a Big Green Egg. “I think last year we had four or five teams and I think that’s grown to about 10 this year. People can still get signed up

either on Thursday or even on that Friday. They just have to come down and pay an entry fee.” Rounding out the event will be food and beer vendors, as well as a DJ spinning bluegrass to go along with the barbecue theme. Proceeds from the event go to the First Tee of Augusta, which teaches life skills and leadership to kids through the game of golf. It’s a cause near and dear to Havird and his father Brad, as well as sponsors Greig McCully of Fireside Outdoor Kitchens & Grills and Allan Barrett at Toast Wine and Beverage. “People should come out to this event, No. 1 because it goes to a great cause in the First Tee. I think they have a big future in this city,” Havird said. “Besides that, I really and truthfully think it’s an awesome event as far as all of the food you get to taste, the wine you get to taste and just the atmosphere was really cool last year.” Wine & Swine The Old Southern Railway Train Depot, 555 Reynolds Street Saturday, February 16 I Run Augusta 5K, 10 a.m.; Swine Cook-Off & Wine Tasting, 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Race: $25, pre-registration; $30, race-day registration. Includes T-shirt and Wine & Swine entry. Wine & Swine: $20 strictlyrunning.com

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 35

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VALERIEEMERICK

Cult Fave

The Misfit Theatre Group takes on Tarantino in latest homage After the success of their Halloween show, “House of 1000 Corpses,” which was a tribute to Rob Zombie, the Misfit Theatre Group have taken it upon themselves to pay homage to another cult-like figure, Quentin Tarantino. “Misfit Tarantino,” is a tribute to three Tarantino films: “Pulp Fiction,” “Kill Bill” and “Reservoir Dogs.” The show will consist of three short plays and highlight some of the most memorable moments from the three films. “Each runs about 30 minutes,” explains Robert Seawell, the director and a founding member of The Misfit Theatre Group, “so it’s the highlights of each of them. The whole show runs roughly about an hour and 45 minutes, an hour and 30 minutes… we’re still timing it… It’s pretty long; and it’s got some good music in it. But it’s not a musical… just the music from the soundtracks and background, which is really cool. It’s going to make people reminisce about the films.” But why pay tribute to Quentin Tarantino? “Mainly,” says Seawell, “the inspiration for this was to get people to want to see the movies, you know? That haven’t seen them, and then the people that love it already, the big fans, will just come out to see it.” Seawell has been getting encouragement for years from those familiar with the work of the Misfit Theatre Group to do this show, or something like it. “Ever since we started the Misfit Theatre Group people have been asking me, ‘Why don’t you do a Tarantino show? Why don’t you do a Tarantino movie?’ and there were just too many to choose from,” says Seawell. “So, I just picked the three that I absolutely loved the most.” “I’m really excited for people to see it,” he says. “It’s been a lot of work putting it together.” So why come out to see a play based on highlights from the movies? Why not just watch the films? Anyone familiar with the Misfit Theatre Group’s past work already knows the answer to that, but for everyone else: “I don’t want to give away too many secrets,” explains Seawell. “It is a tribute, so we picked the funnest characters, but we left enough out to encourage folks to see the movies. We’ve kind-of made it our own, too, so there’s some great little surprises in there.” He also adds, “We’re excited about the people seeing the different takes on the characters, and how the characters change, and we have people playing multiple roles so it will be cool to see the same people playing completely different roles in different scenes. Another twist to this show that is different from past shows is that it is all live. Some of the previous productions have involved lip syncing, but not this one. Audiences will also be given two opportunities to see “Misfit Tarantino,” or to see it twice, as Sector 7G hosts the performance two nights in a row. Sector 7G is an all ages venue, but discretion is advised due to strong language and violent scenes. Misfit Tarantino Sector 7G Friday-Saturday, February 15-16 9 p.m. $10 sector7gaugusta.com 36 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

14FEBRUARY2013

LINE

So, late night munchies and what not. Eaten everything else. See bubble gum. Three pieces of Super Bubble and one of Double Bubble. Manufactured in Mexico and Canada respectively. Something is disturbing about that. Roller Derby is a pseudo spor t. It’s nothing but a bunch of fat women going around in circles. I can see that at any buffet restaurant in Augusta. Five months ago Rep. Paul Broun M.D. uttered this gobbledygook guffaw of a gemstone: “All that stuff I was taught about evolution, embryology, Big Bang theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of hell.” 1.) I’m still waiting for an “official” apology or retraction, and 2.) I’m still waiting for him to either accept or reject my $5,000 “evolution is true” e-mail. How do I know evolution is absolutely true? It’s simple. I offered this $5,000 bet to nine people with the antipodal position in 2012 and NOT ONE OF THEM TOOK IT... and that doesn’t tell you as much about me as it tells you about “the other side.” This case is closed - except for the $45,000 that should be in my hands! I see the Postal Service will be discontinuing Saturday Delivery! I guess our “Fat Cat Politicians” want a “Bigger Piece of the Pie”! I’ve the Solution for all of this nonsense! American Politicians, from President, Vice President down through Congress should be Volunteers! Just like Our Military! They get their Room & Board, as well as other “Basic Necessities” and a “Little Pocket Money”! VERY LITTLE! “National Debt” Paid in Full! Quickly Too! Josh Ruffin is the poster boy for the failure of public schools. Josh, your meager taxes are not paying for the pothole on your neighbor’s street, you probably don’t pay enough to fix the holes on the streets you do drive on. And your little tax bill does not come close to covering the money needed to keep you free to run your stupid mouth. Go try your free speach in Iran or even Venezuela. Point: you are benefitting. However, I don’t recall getting any benefits for paying for a strangers bir th control. Can’t wait for the women to star t showing up! Who pays for the off duty deputies that direct traffic at

38 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

WHINELINE@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

Have something you want to get off your chest? Send your whines to whineline@themetrospirit. com. If you do so by noon on Friday, you might just see it in the next Thursday’s issue. Oh, and whines may be edited for content but will pretty much be printed exactly as you type them.

area churches on Sundays? Please tell me the churches do since the churches don’t pay property taxes but expect fire, garbage and police service to be provided by us tax payers! Parents must be held responsible for leaving guns unattended without a gun lock or in a secure gun safe. If the parent is not home then they do not need the gun to be ready for self defense. How many more children must we lose before common sense takes control of mindless parents. Gun locks are free from www.projectchildsafe.org. Law enforcement only prosecutes stupid people. A gun unattended and unlocked should subject the owner to ten years in prison minimum. To the person trashing the roller derby girls: I bet you wouldn’t say it where any of them could actually hear you. At last years Super Bowl the National Anthem was sung by Steven Tyler. Near the end he added his signature “scream” to a note and was criticized for it. He didn’t change the note, just wailed it out, and all you heard about it was how awful it was of him to do that. This year Alecia Keys sang it, and not only put her own style to it, but added a whole other line on the end, and nobody says a thing. I’ve not heard one complaint. Why is this? Is this just another example of how things are going in this country? Kind of like when Conyay West disrespected Taylor Swift during her award presentation. Nobody said a thing. Why does Augusta want to create a “death wish” for the Bell and the JBA? The wonderful Global Spectrum who’s pulled both out of the dumps and raised up all these great acts and the monies from them? In fact, we need them to take over the TEE! I laughed at the whine saying that Bonnie Ruben ought to open an International Polyester Museum. It’s true though. Those clothes she sells belong in a museum. Every time I walk past her window displays on Broad Street I feel like I have entered some kind of time warp transpor ting me to 1970s fashion Hell. Ya’ll ought to just rename the Spotted section “I See White People.” Who’s idea was it at NBC 26 to put Ashley Campbell on the morning show with Liz and Jay??? She’s ruining their show! I’m sure she’s a nice lady but OMG that whiny voice and her lame comments. Please make her go away!!! Liz and Jay are perfect together.

So Dustbin Loads came out of the closet? Well, I always did think he kinda looked like a lesbian. The Columbia County Fire transition has merely been a horse and pony show of the upper ranks in selfpreservation mode successfully jading the commissioners into thinking they are running a well oiled machine. The machine runs well but the driver seems drunk. It’s time for a breathalyzer. To the poster that knows so much about roller derby, BMI and above all floors, thank you for your insights. I guess I can give up my pipe dreams of skating at the Tee Center. I’ll instead dedicate my time to fad diets and extreme workouts in hopes of someday being wor thy of respect in Augusta. To preserve the floor, the Marriott probably shouldn’t book any events there...ever. It’s sstarting to look like all somebody has to do to move up in this place is threaten to quit. Why didn’t I think of that first?

up

THUMBS

WHINE

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Richmond County’s efforts to stop pedestrian fatalities.

down

Visitors staying in the many Washington Road motels have no warnings of the danger. Sort of like the sheriff’s department arresting Masters visitors for selling their badges at face value. A little heads up?

14FEBRUARY2013


Metro Spirit 02.14.2013