Metro Spirit 01.19.2012
The Metro Spirit is a free weekly newspaper that serves readers in the Augusta and North Augusta area. Editorial coverage includes Richmond County and Columbia County politics and events, arts, entertainment, people, places and events.
TABLE of CONTENTS whine line - TOM TOMORROW - INSIDER - AUSTIN RHODES metro - NY TIMES CROSSWORD - AUGUSTA TEK - RUFFIN' IT - FEATURE are you not entertained - CALENDAR - CUISINE SCENE - FITNESS - SIGHTINGS the8 - ASTROLOGY slab - IN MUSIC - BALL - AMY ALKON: ADVICE GODDESS - JENNY IS WRIGHT 04 04 06 08 09 11 12 13 16 19 20 28 29 31 32 33 34 39 40 41 42 Inactivity Doesn't Have to Slow You Down Rehab Plus Wellness Program* Physical therapist evaluation required Let our wellness experts help you get back up to speed. � � � � � � Supportive assistance for people with physical limitations Accessible gym based wellness equiptment Heated pool with lift and wheelchair ramp Functional Electric Stimulation (FES) Cycle for spinal injured** Low monthly fee based on selected activities Curb-side parking! Want to advertise in the Metro Spirit? 706.496.2535 or 706.373.3636 JoeWhite|publisher-sales manager email@example.com BrendaCarter|account executive firstname.lastname@example.org Lig�Haab|account executive email@example.com LaurenRoman|account executive firstname.lastname@example.org JohnnyBeckworth|circulation manager email@example.com LaurenDeVille|editorial intern MichaelJohnson|sightings AmyChristian|production director firstname.lastname@example.org GabrielVega|lead designer email@example.com EricJohnson|writer firstname.lastname@example.org JenniferPoole|publisher's assisstant email@example.com AmyPerkins|editorial intern ErinGarrett|photography intern JordanWhite|design intern * Provided by Walton Foundation ** Provided by the Knox Foundation Ability Independence Recovery Contributors Amy Alkon|James Allen|Greg Baker|Rob Brezsny|Sam Eifling|Brandi Freeman|Anna Caroline Harris|Matt Lane|Austin Rhodes|Josh Ruffin|Matt Stone|Tom Tomorrow|Jenny Wright COVER DESIGN | KRUHU.COM Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks a year. Editorial coverage includes local issues and news, arts, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Visit us at metrospirit.com.� 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. One copy per person, please. 1355 Independence Drive � Augusta, Georgia 30901 (706) 823-8504 � Toll Free 1-866-4-WALTON � www.wrh.org V. 23 | NO. 03 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 3 WHINELINE NEWT, MITT & OBAMA.... What a Choice!? please keep us updated on the terror town mess please. The Insider was actually correct for once last week. Regal Cinema, like Augusta Mall, looked like a thug festival last night. I will not be going back unless they adopt an appropriate dress code. Youth who dress in that manner idolize the criminal drug underworld. Their judgment is impaired and they can easily get caught up in acting out their criminal fantasies. A buddy of mine is presently going through a divorce. It becomes clearly evident to those observing the proceedings that - "what's mine is mine and what's his is mine" - becomes the de facto strategy of the woman. As the song says: Augusta, Georgia is no place to be.....well, no place to be is also "white and male" in a divorce proceeding! ASU - Rage, Rage against the dying of the light! This is a rant about the Metrospirit. Would you please include the phone #s next to the club listings like yall used to do.I know land line phones are getting antiquated with all the cell phones,but sometimes people dont feel like searching for a phonebook. THANKS I would like it if the city buses ran on Tobacco Road and dowm other streets in South Augusta. I t would also be nice if the buses would run on Sundays and out to Ft. Gordon. I would like it if the city buses ran on Tobacco Road and dowm other streets in South Augusta. I t would also be nice if the buses would run on Sundays and out to Ft. Gordon. More talk about a baseball stadium? Are these people insane? Or just plain stupid....my guess is the latter... Dear lawd, is it too much to ask The Metro Spirit for a freaking Wordpress site? A Tumblr? Argh! WHINELINE@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM up THUMBS Way to commit: Georgia man arrested in North Carolina smuggles a .38 into jail in his rectum. WERECOMMEND Have something you want to get off your chest? Send your whines to firstname.lastname@example.org. If you do so by noon on Friday, you might just see it in the next Wednesday's issue. Oh, and whines may be edited for content but will pretty much be printed exactly as you type them. Put a Pin in It Pinterest (pinterest.com) is an awesome place to find a mixture of everything from wedding ideas to tips on how to lose weight. By invitation only, once a member of the pinterest society you can fill up your boards with pins to organize whatever thought process or task you want to start on. People plan weddings, crafts, birthday parties and DIY home improvements through pinterest boards. And you can stalk your friends to see what they are pinning and planning and even re-pin if necessary. It is where girls plan their entire weddings before they are engaged, and mediocre cooks become Paula Deen by following one of the thousands of recipes available for your pinning. It's addictive but far more productive than Facebook or Twitter. Find a Pinterest member fast! down THUMBS Way to overreact: Local man takes whoopee cushion, smacks teen he doesn't know upside the head for "farting" in his general direction. 4 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 V. 23 | NO. 03 V. 23 | NO. 03 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 5 INSIDER Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities. Harvard on the Hill Goes Downtown university will be or the ability to sell the non-existent concept. This Insider is of the opinion that it is a bad idea to embark upon the dissolution of two institutions and the creation of a new one without a vision of the future that can be articulated to others in a simple fashion. Many anxiously await the presentation of a mission statement for the new hybrid institution. Will it be a medical college with a liberal arts program and business school or will it be a true university with a medical program? While ASU has the most students by a wide margin, the budget and facilities of GHSU dwarf that of the Hill academy. Will the tail wag the dog and, if so, which is the dog and which is the tail? The Board of Regents approved the merger, along with similar mergers of other University System institutions, but it appears the mergers are receiving all of their political life from Georgia Governor Nathan Deal. Will the merger lead to a more effective delivery of services to the students of both institutions? Will the local area lose the excellence of a four-year liberal arts institution to the needs of the medical school? The mission of ASU has always been to educate Georgians, and most particularly to provide bachelor-level degree programs to Augustans. Will that remain a priority? If a coherent plan and philosophy for a future educational institution cannot be presented to adequately explain the merger, discerning observers should ask if there is a reason that is not being articulated publicly. Cost savings are often the stated reason for government initiatives related to consolidation, but they are rarely the true reasons for them. There is, most certainly, a reason why the political leadership has advocated the merger. A cynic asks whose pockets are being lined in the deal. It's a lot like combining the darts teams from Squeaky's and The OR, but real. Augusta State University (ASU) as it exists today is the culmination of decades of development stretching back to origins in the Academy of Richmond County in 1783. The progression from the former Junior College of Augusta to the former Augusta College and present-day Augusta State University all reflect changes that have occurred in our community and state and the changing needs presented by each generation. The present incarnation is radically different in terms of its physical layout in comparison to the college of the '70s and '80s. The programs and courses of study are much different than they were 45 years ago. Much the same can be said of Georgia Health Sciences University (GHSU). Formerly and recently the Medical College of Georgia, GHSU has been the premier public institute of medical education and research in Georgia since men wore stovepipe hats. Evolving from a study group taking lectures in private homes and the Telfair Street site now used for wedding receptions to a leading research and teaching institution with a major hospital and public health component has been a good thing, no doubt. An evolution of the institutions into the 21st century is natural and to be expected. A combination of the institutions was unexpected by almost everyone. The merger of ASU and GHSU may be a benefit to the area and to the students that the institutions serve. There are many doubting stakeholders of both institutions in the form of alumni, faculty, staff, business partners, supporters, donors and others. The merger having been presented as a fait accompli, no work has been done to "sell" the concept of the merger and explain the rationale to stakeholders. Dissatisfaction will be the result with this top-down decision-making process until such time as stakeholders adopt the concept and invest in it emotionally and, ultimately, financially. At present, no one person seems to have either a vision for what the completed Radio Roulette In September 2004, Clear Channel's Top 40 station Y105 flips to classic country (105.7 The Bull), setting its sights on Beasley Broadcasting's country ratings and revenue juggernaut Kicks 99. A few weeks later, Beasley, shoring up its flanks, counters by changing its own station (Oldies 93.9) to The Big Dog, also a classic country station. In 2005, Beasley flips 93.9 The Big Dog to classic hits 93.9 The Drive, playing mostly soft rock hits from the '70s and '80s. In August 2007, Clear Channel switches the frequencies of Eagle 102.3 (classic rock) and 105.7 The Bull putting the rock station on a much stronger, 100,000 watt signal and relegating their country station to the much weaker signal. In April 2010, Clear Channel finishes off The Bull completely and announces the return to top 40 with Y102.3, hoping to siphon off national agency dollars from Beasley's strong revenue producer HD 98.3. Also in April 2010, The Drive is flipped to the Bob format, a random sampling of gold hits from the '60s to current day. In April of 2011, WGAC 580 AM boots 95 Rock down the dial to 93.1 (where it been simulcasting its AM programming) and takes over the 95.1 dial setting. On January 16, 2012, WCHZ 95.1 is moved to 95.5 FM. We Made a Difference 95 Rock is back on the air, and while many would like to think all the noise made by the disgruntled listeners helped get it back, nothing could be further from the truth. Like professional sports, in radio it's all about the money. The move that bumped 95.1 down the dial was made purely for business purposes. The trip back up the dial to 95.5 was made for the same reason. Arbitron breaks down demographics into the following segments: Male and Female, ages 12-17, 18-25, 26-34, 35-44, 45-49, 50-54, 55-64 and 65 plus. While a rock station can sell "bars and cars," its revenue is limited by virtue of the target demo (male 18-25). When a station changes format, it is simply the ownership attempting to maximize assets to their fullest potential. Now that the station has lowered expenses and revenue expectations with management, the bullseye has been erased from its hardworking back. IF YOU'RE GONNA USE ME, AT LEAST USE ME RIGHT! Reservations appreciated (not required| free of charge) AUGUSTA'S ONLY BIG GREEN EGG COOKING CLASS EVERY TUESDAY 5:30PM UNTIL 706.722.3939 | 1242 Broad St. | Across from Pizza Joint 6 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 IdRatherBeFireside.com V. 23 | NO. 03 INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM Squared Growth While not long ago Columbia County was touting its outlet mall survey as pretty much a baited hook aimed at reeling developers into the county, a high-ranking county official maintains it was little more than an expression of the survey taker's personal preferences. Would you like to see an outlet mall in Columbia County? It's kind of like asking someone in Augusta if he'd like to see the Masters stick around. Outlet malls are popular and lucrative and great to have located within your borders, but the problem developers are having is getting retailers to commit. Sure, the economy is showing movement in the right direction, but that's apparently not enough to get a mall full of retailers to commit to Columbia County no matter how burly those census numbers are. Not that officials are giving up, they're just showing a little patience. Marshall Square, though. That's really hopping these days, what with the Tax Slayer Tower and the new fitness center popping up to keep the stalwart Chilis company. What will be interesting to watch, though, is what the county decides to do with its portion of the property. Given the importance it's putting on the amphitheater, you can expect some parking, but how much and what kind has yet to be determined. Building up is expensive and building out takes away valuable space that could got be set aside for a Red Lobster or maybe yet another Cracker Barrel, which just a couple of years ago (in yet another survey) Columbia County voters picked as their favorite restaurant. And while those concerts in the park won't resume until spring, the county still isn't quite sure how it wants to handle the management of the amphitheater. It could start an authority, make some room in Community and Leisure Services for an entertainment and tourism department or just find the right outsider to run the whole thing. Remembering how much fun Ron Cross had being point man for the inaugural concerts, it's hard to believe the county would take a totally hands-off approach, however. Behind the Wheel How very quaint. After being at the wheel, as fate would have it, while Columbia County exploded in growth, Chairman Cross now wants to make sure no other group of citizens is ever able to consolidate that much power again. All the millions and millions and millions of dollars that have been spent over the past 10 years is staggering. The leadership that will eventually leave office will certainly be remembered long after it's gone. How could it not be? Every time you drive down Washington Road beyond Belair you see it. It's wrapped up tighter than Dick's hatband now, but there was a time not long ago that the epicenter of Columbia County was a blank canvas. It's not often you're able to build a city from scratch. After driving the bus for the past 10 or so years, a bus that saw Evans explode in growth, Cross is hoping to make sure that the group that has steered that growth, spent those many millions of dollars of taxpayer money, will be the last to spend so much time behind the wheel. Term limits now is like marrying the hottest girl in your senior class... when she's a senior citizen. It's a bold move to ensure the "wrong" group of folks don't get a hold of the wheel, and, if they do, they won't be able to create a machine like the current one in power. V. 23 | NO. 03 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 7 AUSTINRHODES There have been times in recent years, between the George W. Bushes, the Mitt Romneys and the John Boehners of the world, when I have doubted my own place in the Republican political infrastructure. When I get one of these mini-identity crisis moments, there are few things that can bring me back home better than a belly full of left-wing crap, and there are few who can sling it better than Jesse Jackson. The reverend's diatribes are good for my conservative soul, and his recent Huffington Post Whinefest was just the calibration my philosophical compass needed. Posted January 17, the piece called, "South Carolina Shows How Far We Have to Go," was a multifaceted look at how horrific life is in the state if you are a liberal. While the good reverend may want us to believe that black folks in the Palmetto State have a special set of rules that apply just to them, that somehow hold them back, actually, those rules apply to everyone. He is just under the impression the rules oppress blacks. Conservative blacks in South Carolina laugh at that notion. All 38 of them. The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Thank God for Jesse Jackson Sayeth Jesse: "Last month, the Justice Department, enforcing the Voting Rights Act, rejected as discriminatory South Carolina's efforts to suppress the vote by requiring voters to show a driver's license or other limited official forms of photo ID. Republicans are pushing these laws in states across the country. They claim they are needed to deter voting fraud, but offer no evidence of its existence. In fact, the laws will disproportionately impact African Americans, Latinos and poor people." Sayeth Me: "Go ahead... attempt to defend the mindset that it is wise, advisable or healthy for adult human beings to live without a photo ID in today's world. Not only is it illegal to have a bank account without official ID, you cannot enroll in school, receive medical treatment or be hired for regular employment without one. So instead of pitching a fit, why don't you get these poor people in need on board? Be honest, Jesse: Only a disengaged, socially illiterate loser (or the mentally infirm) does not have proper ID. Come to think of it, I guess he does know his voting base. Sayeth Jesse: "An anti-union state, South Carolina adds to the `race to the bottom' by offering employers cheap captive prison labor. The largest dairy farm in the state will be in a prison. The state aggressively markets its Prison Industries program to private employers, offering to `lease' prisoners or allow businesses to open branches within prison gates." Sayeth Me: "An anti-union state? Well of course, but we shouldn't brag. Actually, I can't imagine living in such a prison setup, unless I count those 18 years living with my parents. True, I had no real freedom, but I did have free room, free board and free medical care. In return I had to do my mandated work at school, take care of the yard, the dog and my little brother. I got virtually no wages in return. Those bastards. Who doesn't like the idea of indentured servitude for criminals, with their wages going to pay their victims? Like it? I love it... and I want some more of it!" Sayeth Jesse: "The U.S. locks up more than 2 million people, more than any nation in the world. One in 48 working-age men is behind bars. A disproportionate number -- 40 percent -- are African Americans." Sayeth Me: "Jail is the place you put bad people who do bad things. Since more than half the folks locked up are white, there is not a conspiracy afoot to just lock up black folks. The race of the criminal is not a factor in their incarceration. Their antisocial, unhealthy, ill-advised, felonious behavior is. If you want more black folks to be free, tell them to behave their damnselves. I promise to tell all the bad white people the same thing. (By the way, you won't see me really saying that to them; I do my best to avoid bad white people. If I see bad white people breaking the law, I report them. If I know bad white people are doing bad things, I will not allow them to get away with it. Reverend Jackson, you should spend more time urging black citizens of conscience to do the same thing.) Thank you Reverend, that did the trick. Conservatives are not perfect, but when compared to liberals, it sure makes us look that way. Celebrating our Sixth Anniversary in Martinez! Celebrating our Sixth Anniversary in Martinez! Always made from scratch for discerning taste buds. FOUR PIECE CHICKEN STRIP MEAL MARTINEZ LOCATION ONLY | 3909 Washington Rd GET ONE FREE BUY ONE, ONE PER CUSTOMER | NO SUBSTITUTES MAY NOT BE COMBINED WITH ANY OTHER DISCOUNT OFFER expires 1.25.12 8 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 V. 23 | NO. 03 METRONEWS "The problem," he said, "is a lack of inclusiveness." Long critical of the way the commission operates, Lockett accused the so-called gang of six with not conferring with the other four members of the commission. The fact that the six are white and the four are black, of course, is part of the problem. "As long as this is going to continue, we're never going to have any peace or tranquility on the commission," he said. "We all need to be able to interject our ideas and thoughts while at the same time realizing that we should not always expect to get what we want. But if we communicate, at least you have the chance to let your colleagues know how you feel and how your constituents feel about a certain item." He said it's the constituents that are often overlooked with all the talk about the personalities on the commission. The commissioners may get all the headlines, but they are simply there representing the people who voted for them, many of whom have serious concerns about the condition of the government. While Lockett has been vocal about his perception that the white majority tends to push through the things they want to push through with no regard for the minority, he said he found the addition of an agenda item regarding the privatization of the city's human resources department particularly galling. "I am the chairperson of the Administrative Services Committee," he said. "HR comes under Administrative Services, and to this date no one has had any conversation with me at all about this privatization." Typically, such an issue would go though V. 23 | NO. 03 Failure to Communicate Lockett looks to 2012 and sees more of the same "Automatically [black opposition] makes it a racial thing, but how can you support something if you don't know what it is?" he asked. "There are just a multitude of questions that need to be answered." Contrary to upbeat comments from the mayor, Lockett doesn't think the New Year is starting off all that positively. "If it continues, 2012 is not going to be any better than 2011 or 2010," he said. "There's no communication between one segment of the commission council and the other and there does not appear to be a great desire among some of them for that to change. And if it doesn't ERICJOHNSON Commissioner Bill Locket said he doesn't need a crystal ball to see into the future, at least as far as scoping out the problems of the commission are concerned. committee before being brought to the full commission. "It's my understanding that they expect to vote on it," he said. "I have not had an opportunity to review any documentation. I haven't had an opportunity to see what the potential agreement is going to look like. But if this goes the way things have been going for the past month, someone will make a motion, it will be seconded and there will probably be six in favor and four against." While the commission did not vote on the issue, it remains an example of how he feels marginalized by what he sees as the willingness of the white majority to use its six votes to govern at will. change, we're not ever going to become a cohesive group." Critical of the Mayor Deke Copenhaver's revisiting of the Code of Conduct, which he called posturing, Lockett said the behavior of the gang of six could have an unexpected result, given the fact that this is an election year. "Those six votes may not be there next year," he said. "And with all the animosity we have now, I would imagine that whoever becomes the majority for 2013, if they really don't have a great desire to do the right thing, it could be the same thing all over again, but with the other side doing it." METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 9 Limiting Time ERICJOHNSON Columbia County considers term limits While most of the country has an unfavorable view of Washington politicians (a recent CNN poll has Congressional approval at an all time low of 11 percent), Columbia County Commission Chairman Ron Cross is looking to limit the time local politicians can spend on the county commission. At the last meeting of the county's Management and Financial Services Committee, Cross proposed sending a formal term limits proposal to members of the legislative delegation. "Most of the commissioners favor it, and I think the public will vote for it because I think everybody would like to see people in office for less duration, particularly the career politicians," Cross said. "I don't know that it will ever really spread to where it needs to be, but we just thought it would be a good thing to present and give the voters the choice." Cross said he and other members of the commission have been talking about it for a couple of years, but with Sunday alcohol sales already on the agenda to go to the legislature, this seemed like a good time to let voters have their say. "We'll ask our legislative delegation to do that as local legislation so that it can be on the primary ballot," he said. According to Director of Elections Deborah Marshall, if the legislature approves it, they'll send it to the Justice Department for pre-clearance. If they approve, it will come back to her to put on the ballot. Because the referendum would be on a primary ballot, there would be no additional cost for the vote. Currently, commissioners serve staggered four-year terms. The limits they are proposing would limit commission service to two fouryear terms with a requirement that a commissioner sit out a year before running for the same office. "Eight years, two terms -- it should be plenty," Cross said. "The good people hopefully would move on to a higher office or do something else." Cross is serving his third four-year term as commission chairman, and while he's built seniority on several state-wide commissions, he doesn't feel term limits would impact the county's stature in the state. "I think most of that is done during your first term anyway," he said. "I don't really see that as being a big problem, and of course none of those kinds of things have any kind of real, tangible benefits. There really is no authority or power much involved." Even in regional issues like the TSPLOST, which lumped counties into geographical regions and forced them to agree on a list of regional transportation projects that they would in turn try to sell to the voters, Cross said seniority wasn't as important as your county's size and strength. "I don't think it would be a big disadvantage, and really, eight years is a considerably long time," he said. Should the term limits take effect, they wouldn't be retroactively applied to the current commission, however. "Any commissioner would have two more terms from whenever it goes into effect," he said. "So any commissioner who's in his second term now could really do two more terms because it wouldn't take effect until whatever date we set after the referendum." 10 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 V. 23 | NO. 03 DOING WITHOUT By Tony Orbach / Edited by Will Shortz ACROSS 1 A person can take big strides with this 6 Hannibal's foil in "The Silence of the Lambs" 13 Museum piece 20 Forum fashions 21 Glade, e.g. 22 Hue akin to olive 23 ___-Itami International Airport 24 "Just do drills for now"? 26 Undo 28 Back to Brooklyn? 29 Slaughter 30 Disturb one's neighbors at night? 37 Comic strip "___ and Janis" 38 Inflation-fighting W.W. II org. 39 A pop 40 Former bill 42 Handful 44 Table saver 47 Don Quixote's love 52 Duffer's feeling toward a putting pro? 54 Meeting one's soul mate, perhaps? 56 Bogart's "High Sierra" role 57 Clive Cussler novel settings 59 Weight allowance 60 "Behold," to Brutus 61 Represent with a stick figure, say 63 Words on a Wonderland cake 65 Nonentities 67 Successfully perform a download? 71 Who wrote "A true German can't stand the French, / Yet willingly he drinks their wines" 75 Chamber exit 76 One who discriminates? 81 Naysayer 82 Fr. title 83 Fen-___ (former weight-loss drug) 86 Grow dark 87 Applied foil at the Hershey's factory? 91 One man's declaration to an upset party planner? 93 Sewing aids 94 Rider on a crowded bus, maybe 96 "I knew it!" 97 Relations 98 Shoppe modifier 99 Foreign football score 101 Blue shade 105 Drive by the United Nations? 113 Ponders 115 Upton Sinclair novel on which "There Will Be Blood" is based 116 Slum-clearing project, say 117 Impostor's excuse? 124 "Me, Myself & ___" 125 Tainted 126 Part of some Tin Pan Alley music 127 Went into la-la land, with "out" 128 Take control of 129 Original 130 Twisty curves DOWN 1 Bundle bearer 2 "I'll have ___" 3 Response to a pledge-drive request 4 Glen Canyon reservoir 5 Get a bit misty 6 Academy enrollee 7 Constellation whose brightest star is Regulus 8 Prince Valiant's eldest 9 Bunkum 10 EarthLink, e.g., for short 11 Actor Firth 12 Thrill 13 One may be overhead 14 "Little" singer of the '60s 15 Coll. elective 16 Capital city on the Atlantic 17 Pundit Bill 18 Model 19 Vodka drink, informally 25 "Definitely!" 27 Go into la-la land, with "out" 31 Strong cast 32 2010 Emma Stone comedy set in high school 33 Highway sign abbr. 34 Was audibly surprised, maybe 35 Shake 36 Holiday season event 41 Loos 42 Animal house, say 43 Creepy: Var. 45 Start 46 Hovel 47 Removal of restrictions, informally 48 Path of Caesar 49 One-named singer for the Velvet Underground 50 Suffix with depend 51 They might have it 52 Some appliances 53 Nag's call 55 ___-shanter 58 Tarot user, maybe 62 New York's Tappan ___ Bridge 64 Flat: Abbr. 65 Kill quickly 66 "South Pacific" hero 68 Diplomatic efforts 69 Hindu spring festival 70 French income 71 Exclaim breathlessly 72 Ready for service 73 Conseil d'___ 74 Sports contest 77 Men of La Mancha 78 4-Down locale 79 Actress Sofer 80 Goal 82 Food in Exodus 84 Language from which "bungalow" and "jungle" come 85 Saxony seaport 88 Bad response upon first seeing one's new haircut? 89 Insomnia cause 90 Adaptable aircraft 92 From now on 95 Khan man? 100 Take charge? 101 Drivers of some slow-moving vehicles 102 Allotment 103 Kind of nerve 104 One way to go, betting-wise 106 Word after an ampersand, maybe 107 Body cavity 108 Eccentric 109 What Oliver asked for more of 110 Berlin Olympics star 111 Rajah's partner 112 Malamutes' burdens 114 "Auld Lang ___" 118 Musician Montgomery 119 Things that may be 65-Downed 120 Cadge 121 Inventor Whitney 122 Itch 123 Motor finish? 1 20 23 26 30 38 42 52 56 61 67 71 81 87 93 97 101 113 117 125 128 102 103 104 114 118 119 126 129 105 106 115 120 121 122 123 107 108 88 89 94 98 109 116 124 127 130 72 73 74 82 90 95 99 100 110 111 112 62 68 75 83 84 91 85 92 96 69 43 53 57 58 63 64 70 76 86 77 78 79 80 44 45 54 59 65 66 27 31 39 46 55 60 47 32 33 34 2 3 4 5 6 21 24 28 35 40 36 41 48 49 50 51 25 29 37 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 22 14 15 16 17 18 19 PREVIOUSPUZZLEANSWERS P S H A W H E Y J O E D E P A R T C A P B L O S I L E R I N A C T H E A A T B E S T C H E A P O H E A T E D S S I F I N O T R O S E N A L G E T G A B L I C O A R N S E S E D D O F L E F O L I O N E D I N N D O S A C I D S A L O N S H O R N P I G R A N A R O M C T R A N E V E S T E M T E R N O W A Y E S O F L B R V A L I U E R A I B R U T E O U L A R E M U E B U M S D E N I N O A H A R T I C R A P I E L G P O S I T F E M M E B U O N O V I A J I M O F Y M O U R M E M T L E E A O L A G A S T S T E H O S O W C E M K O S T K O O U R S L C K S A S I R D P E A R A B O R L A M E M B O G A R T A L O N S O E L A Y N E X I N G O U T A D I E U S M A N D M S I M V E E D M E R S I P D E M M E A X C V E R E U T E D O O D E N Y S V. 23 | NO. 03 PLAN FOR ETERNITY LIKE THERE'S Elliott Sons Funeral Homes NO TOMORROW. ELLIOTTFUNERALHOME.COM METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 11 JANUARY 21, 2012 � 10:00 AM � 2:00 PM CELEBRATION GRAND OPENING GREGBAKER Consumer Electronics Show When most people think of January, thoughts generally turn to cold weather and football championships. The college basketball season is heading into conference play. Those who rent their house during Masters Week are finalizing arrangements. But the true geeks among us are listening for different news. January is the month of the International Consumer Electronics Show (CES). This show is the tech industry's premier event to show off the latest and coolest gadgets on the planet. Past CES events introduced products and technologies such as the camcorder, the DVD, HDTV, Plasma TV, Blu-ray and, more recently, 3D HDTV at CES 2009. This year's CES finished up last week, and, by all indications, televisions are the big winners. This year, LG and Samsung both premiered ready-for-prime-time 55-inch Organic LED (OLED) televisions. OLED technology has been around for a few years. An OLED display works without a backlight, so it can display deep black levels and can be thinner and lighter than an LCD. In low ambient light conditions, an OLED screen can achieve a higher contrast ratio than an LCD. Translated, OLEDs are widely recognized as being capable of producing one tremendous, kick-butt picture. The problem has been scale. OLEDs are regularly used in handheld devices, but no one has been able to create a large screen display. Until now. Look for the general release of these products later this year with a price point around $10,000. Also this year, Smart TVs have established their position in the marketplace. Many of the featured TVs contained dual-core processors providing equivalent computer power to the typical desktop PC. Why is all this compute power needed? Televisions have become scaled-up smart phones with their own network connectivity and application ecosystem. TV manufacturers are positioning for a market where viewers will select programming by clicking Apps instead of surfing channels. In addition, television makers are integrating video cameras and microphones, allowing for consumers to do anything from video conferencing to changing channels through a Kinect-style interface. Televisions will no longer be dumb devices, but rather, they are active participants on the internet providing the consumer a richer experience, whether watching live content, downloaded media or interacting with others. In another example of how apps dominate our technology experience, a company called BlueStacks demonstrated software that allows Android apps to run on Windows 8. In all seriousness, this should boost the adoption of Windows 8. The Metro UI is widely regarded as a great interface, but Windows lacks the app support of Android or Apple. BlueStacks accomplishes the integration by creating tiles for Android apps that look and feel like they're Metro apps. The software effectively brings the entire Android library into the Windows 8 ecosystem. 3D printing was a hot item at CES. I have only recently become familiar with 3D printing, mostly through my fledgling robot army from myrobotnation.com. However, I might need to readjust my plans given the demonstration of MakerBot's Replicator. The replicator prints 3D objects as large as 8.9 inches by 5.7 inches by 5.9 inches. My own in-house manufacturing facility for world domination... And there was so much more this year. For example, there are several new Ultrabooks (think MacBook Air for Windows), new concepts in gaming controllers like the Razer Concept Fiona, home theater devices such as Simple.TV, and some very cool automobile tech by QNX and others. Check out your regular tech sites for a more complete run down of the products at CES. Until next time, I'll see you on the internet @gregory_a_baker L8R. Just like oxygen, feeling healthy and good about yourself is not a luxury... It's an absolute necessity! We will be doing fitness assessments, doorprizes, raffles for fitness packages, nutritional information and also demonstration of classes including: TRX YOGA ZUMBA RIPPED RIDE CIRCUIT BARRE CLASSES NO CONTRACTS | FIRST CLASS FREE | OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK Classes to fit any schedule! Take the time... schedule to sweat! For class descriptions and more information, visit our website www.oxygenfitstudio.com or email us email@example.com | 706.364.7746 12 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 Gregory A. Baker, Ph.D., is vice president and chief rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits. V. 23 | NO. 03 AUGUSTATEK JOSHRUFFIN And Now the Bad Last week's crazy movies offered some hope. These? Not so much. RUFFIN'IT As I outlined last week, at least five movies coming out this year perfectly straddle the line between conceptual absurdity and unmitigated awesomeness. Sometimes, even in spite of themselves -- Tom Hardy is going to mumble/gargle/ mouth-breathe his way through "The Dark Knight Rises," and I fully expect that film to win all the Oscars. Like, they'll retroactively take back all of "Titanic"'s, melt them down and erect a likeness of Christopher Nolan that will vanquish Philadelphia's Rocky statue when it inevitably becomes sentient (source: The Apocryphal Nostradamus). And then there are... these. Look, every year we bemoan the lack of originality and proliferation of cocainefueled regret that saturates the Hollywood machine, but I'm really starting to think some of these movies have to be the result of a bet that God lost with the Weinsteins. I may be dragging out this trope to maddening degrees, but none of these can go unpunished. "One for the Money," starring Katherine Heigl, blah blah SKREEEEEEE! In which Heigl continues the process of obliterating every iota of good will she earned with "Knocked Up." Seriously, every film she's done since then has featured her as a shallow, shrieking harpy with little to no cognizance of what a shallow, shrieking harpy she is. I don't know why people keep thinking this is a good idea, unless going brunette is her version of a gritty reboot. "Journey 2: The Mysterious Island," starring Dwayne Johnson and Michael Caine, somehow. I want to know who asked for this so I know whose name to write in my own blood on the Cutting Stone when I invoke the wrath of Kukulkan. It's as necessary as a PhD at a Larry the Cable Guy show. I just watched Michael Caine strain against his own skin in a devastating performance in "Harry Brown" last night, so this is doubly sad for me. I can only hope that when the DVD comes out, there's an alternate ending where Caine taps into that film's septuagenarian rage and strangles Johnson with his own weight belt. "Think Like a Man," starring Chris Rock, so help me God. When Chris Rock isn't subtly elucidating the nuances differentiating black culture from white culture (translation: screaming "Daddy wants the big piece o' chicken!"), he's starring in crap like this. The plot, and I'm not even making this up, involves a group of women using Steve Harvey's own man-centric relationship advice against their boyfriends and husbands. Oh Chris. How V. 23 | NO. 03 meta of you. Here, let me get in on the fun, as I can't think of an original joke to close out this bit: In the future, every time BET re-airs this, something something Bryant Gumble. "The Three Stooges," starring Will Sasso, depression. If the original rumored cast had stuck with this production, "The Three Stooges" might have made it onto last week's list. I have no idea what initially drew Benicio del Toro and Sean Penn to the project, but it would have been interesting to see the slapstick icons portrayed as real people, real actors. Instead, we get to see Will Sasso and Jack from "Will and Grace" doing what looks like mescalineinspired impressions of Curly and Larry. I don't even know who's playing Moe and if you think I care, then you're going to be awfully surprised when I burn down the bridge I sell you. At one point in the trailer, Curly, upon being shown an iPhone, holds it up to his eyeball and screams "Hello?! HELLO?!" Hitler tells funnier jokes to Glenn Beck while they cuddle. "Red Dawn," starring Chris Hemsworth, and that's not the problem. This one's gonna take a minute. No matter how slobberingly, slack-jawed crazy the original "Red Dawn" may have been, there was at least some genuine, real-life validity to the scenario the film proposes. We were deep into the Cold War, and the Russians, like the Wu-Tang Clan, were nuthin' t' f*** wit. Swayze was in his prime, and even a good many literary and cultural theorists and historians went on record saying hey, this is not far from how it would actually go. So it made some sense. Not much, but some. The problem is that the villainous nation in the remake is... North Korea. That's it. That's apparently our biggest militaristic threat. North Korea is many things -- impoverished, hungry, rhythmic, monochromatic and wildly, hilariously insane -- but a worldwide military threat they are not. They tried to test a prototype for a nuclear missile a couple of years ago, and it was a complete failure. It looked like a special needs child using his blanket to fling a Lawn Dart. If they ever did invade, I'd love to see the looks on their faces when they clamber out of their paddleboats, only to get squashed by Thor himself. Or realize they're in Greenland. ASU and Metro Spirit alum Josh Ruffin is a published journalist and poet, who just received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar. METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 13 Magic City Tragedy Venue unlicensed at time of shooting When investigators responded to a crashed vehicle near the intersection of Lumpkin Road and Mike Padgett Highway early on Monday, January 16, they found the body of Kyle Austin Royal, 16, in the back seat. He had been shot in the head and investigators traced the car back to Magic City, a venue in the 3200 block of Mike Padgett Highway. Investigators think he had been shot while the vehicle was leaving Magic City at a high rate of speed. While Magic City owner Patrick Walton is reportedly denying that any shots were fired on his property, what's clear is that Walton is facing a lot of trouble. According to License and Inspection Development Manager Rob Sherman, Walton was knowingly operating Magic City without a business license. Magic City was approved by the commission as a dance hall in October, but the license was revoked in mid December when the Fire Department was brought to the location during a large party where people were parking along Mike Padgett Highway. "Because it was not what they thought it was, the fire department asked us to pull the license and they pulled the certificate of occupancy that they issued," Sherman said. "So last year the license was rescinded and he doesn't have a license for any activity over there at this time." According to Sherman, the fire department had approved a certificate of occupancy for a mercantile as opposed to a place of assembly. In order to host a gathering of people the way Magic City apparently was, the location would need to be approved as a place of assembly. ERICJOHNSON Sherman further stated that Walton was definitely notified that Magic City was no longer licensed for operation. "He was notified and then a letter was physically put on the table in front of him," Sherman says. "And we've had conversations with him since back in December when he had the problem and his license was pulled." So there is no possibly he couldn't have known his license had been revoked? "Absolutely not," Sherman said. Inactivity Doesn't Have to Slow You Down Rehab Plus Wellness Program* Physical therapist evaluation required Let our wellness experts help you get back up to speed. � � � � � � Supportive assistance for people with physical limitations Accessible gym based wellness equiptment Heated pool with lift and wheelchair ramp Functional Electric Stimulation (FES) Cycle for spinal injured** Low monthly fee based on selected activities Curb-side parking! * Provided by Walton Foundation ** Provided by the Knox Foundation Ability Independence Recovery 1355 Independence Drive � Augusta, Georgia 30901 (706) 823-8504 � Toll Free 1-866-4-WALTON � www.wrh.org 14 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 V. 23 | NO. 03 V. 23 | NO. 03 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 15 Second Chances ERICJOHNSON 95Rock's Chuck Williams gets another shot at rockin' Augusta Second chances don't come around all that often, but as 95Rock's Program Director and on air personality Chuck Williams approaches his 60th birthday, he's contemplating two of them. The first occurred more than 20 years ago, while the second occurred on Monday, when 95Rock was bumped back up to a competitive frequency. In August, parent company Beasley Broadcasting decided to simulcast its AM talk radio powerhouse WGAC on 95Rock's prized 95.1 frequency, a move that relegated 95Rock to the far less powerful 93.1, effectively pulling the plug on Augusta's only active rock radio station. "We were dead in the water," Williams says. "And in our industry, as in most industries right now, once you're gone, you're gone. But we're getting something nobody gets in this business anymore, which is a second chance." That second chance came via what Williams calls a perfect storm that involved a competitor willing to sell another viable frequency and an outpouring of local outrage over 95Rock's unceremonious replacement with conservative talk radio. In short, Augusta rock fans were mad not just because they were losing their music, but because that they were losing their music in order to give the talking conservatives another soapbox in the same market. because the advertising dollars are just too strong to ignore. That's the shortterm reason. Long term, it's viewed as a way of getting younger people, who don't typically listen to AM radio, closer to the lucrative talk radio content. "The ironic thing is, that day when we flipped the switch last August -- it didn't go right technically," Williams laughs. "The Spanish language station popped up instead." Anyone who remembers how whitehot the immigration issue was right then -- and how it was it was playing out across the WGAC lineup -- can certainly appreciate the irony of that. hammered away at that accent by forcing him to read hours and hours of commercial copy. "It was kind of a wasted $4,000, but it opened some doors," he says. "There were other graduates who were in the business and when they saw a resume they would be willing to give you a shot." After a couple of part-time jobs in the northeast, he came down to Augusta to visit some friends and ended up with a part-time job at 96 RXR, a rock station that broadcast from the 14th floor of the Lamar Building. "We would have to go down 14 floors to smoke, and then punch the code for the elevator and wait for it to come back," he says. "So you'd better have `Stairway to Heaven' on or one of those long songs -- `Slow Ride' or `Free Bird.' That's when you got your bathroom break." Also at 96 RXR was Sandi & Chuck Williams Ronald F. Montgomery, an old hippie with the voice of God who they hired briefly to of a different school of broadcasting, handle the late-night duties. this time he actually went up, paid the "I was getting off the 7 to midnight money and went to class. shift and Ronald F. was coming in "The first thing they did was tell us on Friday night to do the overnight," in no uncertain terms that we had to Williams remembers. "I had not met get rid of the regional accent," he says him and didn't know he was coming. in that familiar radio voice. "You have All the lights were off and I heard to have a Midwestern accent." place. "It was something I had been fascinated with growing up," he says. "When I was in high school in suburban Boston, I actually went to the steps of the Northeast Broadcasting School, but I stopped, chickened out and never went back." Most people don't get a chance for that kind of do-over, but Williams did. He was about 40 and in another line of work when he had the opportunity to set off in a new direction, and though he may have ended up at the steps Breaking Benjamin at the JBA photography: jWhite The move, however, was not unusual. FM stations across the nation are being sacrificed to talk radio That was Williams' second chance at a second chance. The first was the one that brought him to radio in the first As lifelong New Englander, that didn't come easy. Not with those Bostonian Rs. But the instructors the elevator ding and here comes this guy with long grey hair and this huge flowing beard and I thought `Oh, my V. 23 | NO. 03 16 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 of the manpower we have." While there are any number of ways your music is delivered to you, he says radio can still provide that magical cosmic alignment that brings the perfect song to you at just the right time. "When that song that strikes all the right notes hits you at just the right time -- that's pretty cool," he says. "And if you Chuck at Canapalooza 2010 at Pizza Joint in Evans god -- is this what happens to old radio people?'" Radio, he says, is a business that lends itself to such stories. People like Ronald F. just come and go, replaced by equally charismatic (or quirky) characters. It's part of the draw. "I couldn't even give you a proper word for it," he says. "But there's a certain personality type that gets into it. There is never a lack of creativity, which is something that's very stimulating, but those people tend to come with a little baggage." Williams started out in the early '90s, well after the time immortalized by TV's "WKRP in Cincinnati," but while a lot of that era's craziness had disappeared by then, the fundamentals were still the same. "In terms of people struggling for power and trying to get their own agendas across and the eternal battle between programming and sales, which is always right there, it's pretty much the same now," he says. That struggle between programming and sales, he says, is one of the things that makes 95Rock so problematic to keep moving forward. "Clients sometimes make the mistake of using their personal preference to base their advertising decisions," he says. "I totally respect that and they certainly have the right to do that, but they're missing the boat, because rock listeners are stereotyped like crazy." He paints a picture of how many see the typical rock listener -- a guy who barely finished high school, drinks like a fish, has a jail record and 10 or 12 piercings and tattoos. "Those stereotypes are amazing, but we have business owners and professional people and a lot of military people who just grew up with V. 23 | NO. 03 rock and have stayed with it," he says. The new 95Rock will still have the same lineup it has now -- Lex and Terry, Williams, Matt Stone and Sanj -- but the music will be a touch more varied. "Active rock has traditionally relied on the grunge era for library stuff, and that's something that's been beaten to death for 20 years, so I'm just trying not to play as much of it and maybe play some less familiar songs from those bands," he says. Unlike most radio stations, Williams alone has the power to choose content. It's a control over the programming that is nearly unprecedented. "Most stations have a consultant who kind of guides music decisions," he says "I don't have one of those any more, so it's kind of up to me what we do musically." He thinks his listenership is ready for the change. "We've been kind of locked into an active rock format for a number of years, but that format has gotten very repetitive and formulaic," he says. "So what I'm doing this time around is broadening the sound of the radio station and reaching over to the alternative side to pick what's good from over there without losing the rock." Given the growth of Pandora and iTunes, it's more crucial than ever to get the programming right. "We all know there are many places to get music these days," he says. "So the presentation's got to be unique to whatever market you're in. We try to be as much a part of Augusta as we can possibly be within the restrictions get feedback on that, that's pretty cool, too." Audience feedback -- through Facebook and their website -- is part of the reason Williams and 95Rock is getting that second chance. Callers flooded the Napals, Fla., home office with calls protesting the change, while online listenership increased by 200 to 300 percent. But as valuable as all those connections are, Williams says they've robbed radio of some of its old mystique. "Radio was so much bigger," he says. "It's a little bit more exposed now -- there's not quite so much mystery about it." In the old days, disc jockeys could move about the communities they served anonymously while simultaneously rising to the status of family with some of their listeners. "I don't fancy myself in that category at all, even though I've been here for a long time, but once in awhile I'll get somebody who comes up and tells me, `Man, I've been listening to you forever,' or `My dad turned me on to you,'" he says. "And sometimes they pick up on my voice. That's kind of cool, but my wife just rolls her eyes." While he doesn't do it for the notoriety, he does love being on the air. "I enjoy that as much as I've ever enjoyed anything," he says. "The whole give and take with the listeners and being a part of the music stuff is just fascinating. I hope I never lose the passion for that, because if you lose that part of it, you're just another drone." Though some might think that running an active rock station is a job for a younger man, Williams quietly but firmly rejects the notion. Thanks to the two years he's been training at Greubel's MMA he's got the fitness of a much younger man, while musically he's as connected to the business as he's ever been. You don't talk to him long before you realize he's one of those 60-is-thenew-40 kind of guys, and you get the strong impression that his birthday bash will be the kind of party that blows our notions of 60 completely out of the water. "If there is a feeling about it, I think it's more in my head than anything else," he says. "If it was a really, really young format or a strictly alternative format, I would say that it might not be the best thing for the radio station, but I don't think anyone cares about that at this point, and if they do � sorry, I've got the gig and you don't." Because of when he hit the industry, which was right about the time the Telecommunication Act came into being which unlocked the ownership restrictions and paved the way for today's radio conglomerates, he's seen the workforce dwindle dramatically. "Everybody used to have to multitask a little bit, but now it's even worse," he says. "Now, you have to have some other thing you can do, whether it's promotions or production. People have lost jobs because they weren't viewed as multitaskers." Consolidation, which brought the corporate creed of doing more with less to radio, created an industry where more people were competing for fewer and fewer jobs, which has fundamentally changed the way radio is produced. "I feel so bad for the people who got booted out of this business when it was their passion," he says. "And that's what happened. The jobs got consolidated down and a lot of good people -- people that I dealt with and METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 17 At home with Chuck photography by: jWhite knew and a lot more that I didn't -- are out doing something else now." As a survivor with his share of second chances, Williams says he knows just how lucky he is. "I'm happy to be doing a job and making a living doing something that's really fun to do," he says. "And when I get whiny and bitchy -- and I do -- I have to just stop and say, `You just need to shut up and look at where you are and what you're doing and how many people would kill for your job." COMING FEBRUARY 1ST!! Quantum Fitness Academy Instructional and Conditioning non fighting MMA School Cross Fit Cross Fit for Kids Wrestling Krav Maga Jujitsu Kickboxing introducing 6,500 square feet Open 7 days a week 18 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 QUANTUMFITNESSAUGUSTA.COM | 4408 Evans to Locks Rd, Evans, GA | 706.210.1140 V. 23 | NO. 03 V. 23 | NO. 03 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 19 ENTERTAINMENT inspired by images and lifestyles of the rural south, shows at Sacred Heart Cultural Center through February 29. Call 706-8264700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org. Local Color: Photography of the South shows through January 29 at the Morris Museum of Art, and features work by some of the South's most important photographers. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. From Mild to Wild, an exhibit by Ron Buttler, shows through January 30 at Hitchcock Health Center in Aiken, and features oil landscapes and mixed media. Call 803-278-0709 or visit aikenartistguild.org. John Glave Photography Exhibit shows through January 30 at Aiken Center for the Arts, and features an opening reception Thursday, January 12, from 6-8 p.m. Call 803-278-0709 or visit aikenartistguild.org. The Annual Quilt Exhibition has been extended until January 31 at The Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Call 706-724-3576 or visit lucycraftlaneymuseum.com. Working South: Paintings and Sketches by Mary Whyte shows through March 11 at the Morris Museum of Art. Call 706724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Music The best thing about the Turn Back the Block Blue Jean Ball? Definitely the dress code. This fundraiser for the Harrisburg community features live music by the Blue Dogs and more and will be held Saturday, January 21, from 7-11 p.m. at 1213 Old Plantation Road in North Augusta. $60. Visit turnbacktheblock.com. Damira Feldman performs the 2012 Winter Nocturne Thursday, January 19, at 7 p.m., at USC-Aiken's Etherredge Center. $15. Proceeds benefit the USC-Aiken music department. Call 803-641-3305 or visit usca.edu/ec. Sole Piano Recital by Bulgarian pianist Lil Bogdanova is Friday, January 20, at 7 p.m. at West Acres Baptist Church. Free. Call 706-860-6573 or visit westacres.org. Poulenc Trio, presented by The Harry Jacobs Chamber Music Society and the ASU Lyceum Series, is Friday, January 20, at 7:30 p.m., at the Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre. $7-$25. Children under six are not permitted. Call 706-667-4100 or visit aug.edu/pat. Mountain Heart, with Tony Rice, presented by the Morris Museum of Art's Budweiser True Music Southern Soul and Song Concert series, is Friday, January 20, at 7:30 p.m., at the Imperial Theatre. V. 23 | NO. 03 Arts Day Trip to Spartanburg and Greenville, South Carolina, is Tuesday, January 24, and features tours of a Jasper Johns exhibit and the George Dean Johnson Collection at the cities' museums. $45-$60, includes bus transportation, snacks, tours and museum admissions. Pre-registration required. Call 706-7247501 or visit themorris.org. Day of Art, hosted by the North Augusta Artists Guild, is each Tuesday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Arts and Heritage Center and includes a group of artists painting in the center who will answer questions or allow visitors 20 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 to join in. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com. Winter Classes, for adults and teens ranging in subject from visual arts to bridge and yoga, begin in January and run through the end of March at the Aiken Center for the Arts. Preregistration, which is required for all classes, is going on now. Call 803-6419094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org. Heritage Center in North Augusta. Free and open to the public. Call 803-4414380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com. Aiken Retrospective: Yesterday and Today shows through January 27, at the Aiken Center for the Arts, and includes pieces by artists 18 and older. Jennifer Onofrio Fornes was the judge. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org. The work of Nicholas Bass, Anna Patrick, Joey Hart, Ethan Brock and Heather Warren shows through the month of January. Visit skycityaugusta.com. Lenn Hopkins exhibit, featuring work Exhibitions A reception for And She Lived..., an exhibition of ceramics and mixed media paintings, will be held Friday, January 20, from 6:30-8:30 p.m. at the Arts and $13-$37. Call 706-722-8341 or visit imperialtheatre.com. Harmony and Invention, presented by Symphony Orchestra Augusta, is Saturday, January 21, at 7:30 p.m., at First Baptist Church of Augusta, and features legendary violinist and Boston Symphony concertmaster Joseph Silverstein. Call 706-826-4705 or visit augustasymphony.org. "Peter & the Wolf" is Sunday, January 22, at 3 p.m., at USC-Aiken's Etherredge Center. $8-$15. Call 803-641-3305 or visit usca.edu/ec. Tuesday's Music Live is Tuesday, January 24, at noon, at Saint Paul's Church, 6th and Reynolds streets, and features music by Augusta bass Isaac Holmes. Lunch, catered by Crums on Central, follows the concert. Concert: free; lunch: $10, with pre-registration required. Call 706-7223463 or visit tuesdaysmusiclive.com. The Salvation Army School of the Performing Arts holds classes each Tuesday. Included is instruction in piano, drums, guitar, voice and brass. Call 706364-4069 or visit krocaugusta.org. the Augusta Mall are each Saturday beginning at noon, followed by a Nookcolor tutorial at 12:30 p.m. Free. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com. Dance Real Dance Music is every Thursday from 8-11 p.m. at Rosehill Estate in Aiken, and features jazz and party music. Call 803-648-11-81 or email stephen@ rosehillestate.com. Belly Dance Class is every Tuesday at 4 p.m. at Euchee Creek Branch Library. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Augusta International Folk Dance Club meets Tuesday nights from 7:30-9:30 p.m. at the Augusta Ballet Studio on 2941 Walton Way. No partners needed. First visit free. Call Tim at 706-399-2477. � c a r e e r e d u c a t i o n � Theater Paintedpalooza is Friday, January 20, at 9 p.m., at Sky City, and features music by Jerod Gay & Friends, The Kooties, Finster and Pocket the Moon. $5-$8. Email firstname.lastname@example.org. The U.S. Ho Show, presented by Augusta Burlesque, is Saturday, January 21, at 7 p.m., at Le Chat Noir downtown. $10. A portion of the proceeds will benefit the USO. Call 706-722-3322 or visit augustaburlesque.com. "Wrong Window" is Friday, January 20-Saturday, January 21, at 8 p.m., and Sunday, January 22, at 3 p.m., at Aiken Community Playhouse, and continues the following two weekends in January. $20. Call 803-648-1438 or visit aikencommunityplayhouse.com. A better future. Change your future and your life with a rewarding career. Miller-Motte offers career training programs in: Cosmetology, Health Information Technology, Massage Therapy, Medical Assisting, Medical Laboratory Technician, Many More! CAREER TRAINING PROGRAMS MAY VARY BY CAMPUS. FINANCIAL AID AVAILABLE TO THOSE WHO QUALIFY. AUTHORIZED BY THE NONPUBLIC POSTSECONDARY EDUCATIONAL ACT OF 1990. A BETTER JOB. Literary Brown Bag Book Discussion is Thursday, January 19, at 11:30 a.m., at the Columbia County Library. Call 706-8631946 or visit ecgrl.org. Book Club meets Thursday, January 19, at 4 p.m., at Harlem Branch Library. Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org. Book Sale is Saturday, January 21, from 10 a.m.-1 p.m., at Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Maxwell Morning Book Club is Thursday, January 26, at 10 a.m., at Maxwell Branch Library, and features a discussion of "The Elegance of the Hedgehog." Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. Call for Authors! Headquarters Branch Library is hosting its inaugural Augusta Literary Festival March 3 and is looking for authors to read and sell their published work. Visit ecgrl.org for info. Poetry Matters is accepting entries through March 23 for their annual poetry contest. Cash prizes will be give out. Categories are middle and high school, adults and seniors. Visit poetrymatterscelebration.com. Nook tutorials at Barnes and Noble in V. 23 | NO. 03 Flix Martial Arts Movie Madness: Bruce Lee is Saturday, January 21, from 11 a.m.-4 p.m., at Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. "The Help" shows Saturday, January 21, from 3-5:15 p.m., at Aiken Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org. "Dog Day Afternoon" shows Tuesday, January 24, at 6:30 p.m., at Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. www.Miller-Motte.edu Special Events Third Thursday Wine Tasting is Thursday, January 19, from 5-8 p.m. at Wine World in North Augusta. Call 803-279-9522 or visit wineworldsc.com. Jerry Seinfeld is Thursday, January 19, at Changing Futures. Changing Lives.� For more information about our graduation rates, the median debt of students who completed these programs, and other important information, please visit our website at: disclosure.miller-motte.edu 621 nw frontage road, augusta, ga 30907 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 21 MMTCAMS1102R � �2011 DCE � MMT.AUG.00505.C.101 (866) 425-0032 Classes are forming. Call toll-free today! 7 p.m. at Bell Auditorium. $45-$75. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix.com. "A Pair of Nuts" is Thursday, January 19, at 7 p.m. at Fort Gordon's Alexander Hall, Building 29805, Chamberlain Avenue, and features an award-winning comedy sketch duo. Show is not appropriate for children. Free. Limited seating. Doors open at 6:30 p.m. Call 706-793-8552 or email email@example.com. Siege of Augusta, the CSRA"s only local game convention, begins Friday, January 20, and continues until Sunday, January 22, at 4 p.m. at the Doubletree Hotel on Perimeter Parkway. This family friendly event is open to the public and participating in any of the historical, miniature, tabletop games requires registration at the event and a $20 fee. Call 706-414-0227 or visit siegeofaugusta.com. 33rd Annual Augusta Futurity is Saturday, January 21-Saturday, January 28, at the James Brown Arena. Times vary. $5-$35. Call 1-877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix.com. Friends of the Augusta Public Library Annual Meeting is Monday, January 23, at 6:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library, and features a discussion by Brad Cunningham: "Who Lived at Appleby before the Books Lived at Appleby?" Free and open to the public. Call 706469-3356 or visit ecgrl.org. Tours of the Boyhood Home of President Woodrow Wilson are Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. on the hour at 415 Seventh Street. $3-$5; free for children under 5. Groups of 10 or more need a reservation. Call 706-724-0436 or visit historicaugusta.org. Weekly Wine Tastings at Vineyard Wine Market in Evans are each Friday from 4:30-6:30 p.m. and each Saturday from 1-6 p.m. Call 706-922-9463 or visit vine11.com. The 2012 Miss Georgia Peach Scholarship Competition is Saturday, March 17, at the Pettigrew Center at Fort Valley State University. Georgia girls, ages 4-24, are eligible. Entry deadline is March 10. Visit missgeorgiapeach.org. and Joint, and features a free seminar about knee and hip pain, treatments, medication, food and exercise. Call 706481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Community Health Forum is Thursday, January 19, from 11 a.m.-2 p.m. at the Richmond County Health Department Clinic, and features speakers who will discuss health care access, communication, health literacy and funding for nonprofit health-related organizations. Free and open to the public. Visit gahn2012forum.eventbrite.com. Baby 101 is Thursday, January 19, at 4:45 p.m. and 7 p.m. at Doctors Hospital (Suite 310, Medical Office Building One). Pre-registration required. Call 706-651BABY or visit doctors-hospital.net. Infant CPR Anytime Learning Program will be held Thursdays at 6:30 p.m. at the first floor information desk (west entrance) of MCGHealth. Visit georgiahealth.edu. Breastfeeding Class, sponsored by University Hospital, is Thursday, January 19, from 7-9 p.m. at Babies R Us, in Evans. Pre-registration required. Call 706774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org. PGA Pro Don Vickery and Paralympian Casey Tibbs lead Orthotic and Prosthetic Education Day at Augusta Orthotics & Prosthetics Inc. on Friday, January 20, from 8 a.m.-6 p.m. The day includes talks by the athletes, refreshments, vendor tables and more. Open to the public. Call 706-733-8878 or visit augustaprosthetics.com. A Call to Action: Implementing EvidenceBased Nursing Practice is Saturday, January 21, from 8 a.m.-4 p.m. at Georgia Health Sciences Health Sciences Building, 987 St. Sebastian Way, and features keynote speaker is Dr. Ruth Kleinpell, director of the Center for Clinical Research at Rush University Medical Center and Professor at Rush University College of Nursing. Attendees are eligible for seven contact hours from the Georgia Nurses Association. $50$75. Deadline for mail-in registration is January 16. Visit georgiahealth.edu/ medicine/ahactc/ebp.html. Short and Sweet Weekend Childbirth Classes are Saturday, January 21, from 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m., and Sunday, January 22, from 1-5 p.m., at Doctors Hospital (Medical Office Building One, Suite 310). Pre-registration required. Call 706-651BABY or visit doctors-hospital.net. Health Joint Efforts, presented by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets every Thursday from 11-11:45 a.m. at Augusta Bone 22 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 V. 23 | NO. 03 Ready, Ready, SET SET It's no secret that two of the top 5 New Year's resolutions are to get in shape and maintain a healthier diet. But did you know there's one place in town where you can accomplish both goals? Well, there is and that place is the Kroc Center. Conveniently located on Broad Street between downtown and Washington Road, this one-stop shop for healthy living is a place where members can do everything from participate in a group fitness class or workout on their own to take a nutrition class or have a meal in the cafe. With a mission to include everyone, including kids and seniors, in activities and a friendly, knowledgeable and helpful staff, the Kroc Center's calm and inviting atmosphere makes keeping up with those resolutions a pleasure rather than a chore. GO! Start the New Year off right at the Kroc Center The Kroc Center has 11 treadmills, nine elliptical machines, three stair climbers, four bikes, two rowing machines and three hand-crank cycles, all of which feature personal televisions. The Kroc Center is also the only place in Augusta that has Life Fitness Virtual Trainers on its equipment, which allow exercisers to plug a USB into the machine, then take it home, plug it into the computer and enter the data into Life Fitness' website. "It's a really good tool for someone who, financially, can't hire a personal trainer, but really wants to get results," said Heather Linn-Altman. "You can even create your own workouts from home." From free weights to machines, the Kroc Center has it all. For the beginner, Heather Linn-Altman suggests the Life Fitness Circuit Series. "All you have to do is push a couple of buttons to set the resistance," she explained. "You don't have to adjust the seats or anything." And when beginners are ready to move up to the more advanced machines or free weights, they can be assured that they'll be doing it in a safe environment. "There are always trainers on the floor to answer questions," Linn-Altman said. The Kroc Center wants everyone to commit to a healthy lifestyle, including seniors and children. In addition to a free nutritional counseling session that each member gets, there are free nutritional classes every month that are open to the public. In addition, the Kroc Center holds a monthly Family Night that includes swimming, Zumba, mini boot camps and more for the whole family. "It's a fun evening at the Kroc Center where you can spend time as a family doing healthful activities and kids can learn that healthful activities can be fun," Linn-Altman said. In addition, they also offer Junior Fitness for ages 7-12, and Smart Start for Teen, a program for those ages 13-15 that, once completed, will allow teens to workout without parental supervision. Each person who joins the Kroc Center receives a free personal training assessment and personalized training plan. "From there, if people want to go further with physical trainers, they can approach them," Linn-Altman said. "There are a lot of different packages and, if you're a gold member you do get 10 percent off your personal training packages. And then there's also partner training and group training as well." The Kroc Center is ringing in 2012 with several special programs, including the Ultimate Loser Challenge, which begins on January 23 and finishes on April 15. Participants, working in teams, are required to complete a minimum of three activities a week, meet twice a month for weigh ins and nutritional counseling, participate in a monthly team challenge and more. Individual and team winners will be announced at an awards night on April 18. According to Linn-Altman, however, the program doesn't end there. "Anytime during or after the 12 weeks, we'll have a counselor available to them," she said. "I think that's what sets our program apart from others is that we want them to continue their progress after the program is over." Dine In Head to the Kroc Center Cafe after your workout The Kroc Center provides a vast array of fitness classes including Zumba, New Year Body Boot Camp and the 30-minute Kroc Fit. Some of the most popular are the Les Mills series of classes, which include Body Pump, Body Combat, Body Vive, Body Step, Body Flow and RPM. "I find quite often people feel intimidated by it," Linn-Atlman said of the pre-choreographed programs that change every quarter, "but anybody can do it. You're in complete control of the intensity of the workout." Once your workout at the Kroc Center is over, don't blow it by hitting the drive-thru. Instead, walk down the hall to the Kroc Center Cafe, which is open to the public Monday through Friday and serves breakfast from 7-10 a.m., lunch from 11 a.m.-2 p.m. and dinner from 4-8 p.m. Breakfast features cold and grilled items and dinner offers a grill menu, wraps and a salad bar. In addition to the items offered at dinner, the lunch menu features a rotating list of hot entr�es and sides, as well as a salad bar and desserts. Their pasta selections are always a hit. Bring in this article and receive a free drink or dessert with the purchase of an entree. Check out the full menu at krocaugusta.org. Growing Boys is Saturday, January 21, from 9:30 a.m.-noon at Trinity Hospital of Augusta, and features special information for boys, ages 9-12, and their fathers about the pre-adolescent years. $10, with pre-registration required. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofuaugusta.om. Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson Disease Aquatics Class meets every Monday and Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y. Free for members; $3 for non-members. For more information and registration, call Claudia Collins at 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. Childbirth Preparation Classes are Tuesdays, January 24-February 14, from 6-9 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Center (6th floor, Classrooms A and B). Pre-registration required. $25. This class is limited to ARMC patients. Visit aikenregional.com. Weight Loss Seminar is Thursday, January 26, at Georgia Health Sciences Cancer Center. Free. Call 706-721-2609 or visit georgiahealth.org/weightloss. Bariatric Seminar is Thursday, January 26, from 6-7 p.m. at Doctors Hospital (South Tower, Classroom 1), and features weight loss information presented by Drs. Michael Blaney and Darren Glass. Free, but preregistration required. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Breastfeeding Class is Thursday, January 26, from 6:30-9:30 p.m. at Doctors Hospital (Medical Office Building One, Suite 310). Call 706-651-BABY or visit doctors-hospital.net. Introduction to Infant CPR is Thursday, January 26, from 7-8:30 p.m. at University Hospital (Lobby). Preregistration required. Call 706-7742825 or visit universityhealth.org. Adapted Wii Special Populations available by appointment at the Wilson Family Y, and feature individual �-hour classes for physically and developmentally challenged individuals of all ages. $10, members; $20, non-members. Call Claudia Collins at 706-922-9662 or visit thefamilyy.org. Blood Cancer and Stem Cell Support Group meets Thursday, January 19, from 5:30-7 p.m. at Georgia Health Sciences Cancer Center (Community Room). Call 706-721-1634 or visit georgiahealth.org. Skip to my Lupus meets Thursday, January 19, from 7-9 p.m. at Aiken Regional (Dining Room A). Call 803-2519413 or visit aikenregional.com. Narcotics Anonymous, sponsored by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets Fridays and Sundays at 7:30 p.m. Call 706-8552419 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Young Women with Breast Cancer meets Friday, January 20, at 12:30 p.m. at University Hospital Breast Health Center (Professional Center 2, Suite 205). Call 706-774-4141 or visit universityhealth.org. AA Meets every Sunday and Wednesday at 7:15 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Center (Aurora Pavilion), and features an open discussion. Call 1-800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional.com. LaLeche League meets Monday, January 23, at 7 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta, and features support for pregnant women and nursing mothers. Call Julie Menger at 706-737-2405 or Stephanie Bussey at 706-855-1630. Burn Support Group meets Tuesday, January 24, at 10:30 a.m. at Doctors Hospital (Lori Rogers Nursing Library, JMS Building). Visit doctors-hospital.net. Moms Connection, a free support group for new mothers and their babies, meets Tuesdays from 1-2 p.m. at Georgia Health Sciences Building 1010C. Call 706-7219351 or visit georgiahealth.org. Parkinson's Disease Support Group meets Tuesday, January 24, at 6 p.m. at St. Johns Towers. Call 706-863-6355. Insulin Pumpers meet Thursday, January 26, from 6-7 p.m. at University Hospital (Cafeteria Dining Room 1). Call 706-8683027 or visit universityhealth.org. A.W.A.K.E. Sleep Apnea Support Group meets Thursday, January 26, from 7-9 p.m. at Georgia Health Sciences Children's Medical Center (Family Resource Room, first floor). Pre-registration required. Call Penny Mehaffey at 706-721-0793 or visit georgiahealth.org. The First Step Divorce Recovery Support Alzheimer's Disease Support GroupWestwood meets Thursday, January 19, at 3 p.m. at Westwood Nursing Facility in Evans. Free. Call 706-863-7514. V. 23 | NO. 03 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 23 Workshop will be held Sundays, February 5-March 11, at 4 p.m. at First Baptist Church. Free childcare provided through age 5. Workshop led by Dr. Wayne Hunsucker. Call 706-738-0443. the Headquarters Branch Library (Third Floor Writing Lab). Registration not required. You must have a PINES library card. Call Charles Garrick at 803-2793363 or visit ecgrl.org. Spanish Language Class begins Monday, January 23, from 2-4 p.m. (Intermediate) and 4-5 p.m. (Beginners) at Friedman Branch Library. Registration is not required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Ebooks and Georgia Download Destination class is Tuesday, January 24, at 10 a.m. at Diamond Lakes Library. Participants should have general computer knowledge, and are invited to bring all smart equipment. Call 706-7222432 or visit ecgrl.org. History of Aiken: A Beautiful Story Lecture Series continues Tuesday, January 24, at 10 a.m. at the Aiken County Historical Museum, and features a talk by Owen Clary on Aiken's unique role in "The War." $25-$30. Call 803-642-2015 or visit aikencountyhistoricalmuseum.org. Westminster Schools of Augusta Middle and Upper Schools Open House is Tuesday, January 24, at 6:30 p.m. RSVP: 706-731-5260, ext. 2220, or firstname.lastname@example.org. PowerPoint I class is Wednesday, January 25, at Headquarters Branch Library. A PINES card is required. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2604 or visit ecgrl.org. Gmail Basics class is Wednesday, January 25, at 6 p.m. at Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Call 706-722-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. ESL classes are offered every Wednesday at 6 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library (Third Floor Writing Lab). Pre-registration required. Call Charles Garrick at 803-2793363 or visit ecgrl.org. Introduction to Microsoft Word is Thursday, January 26, at Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. Phi Kappa Phi Arsenal Lecture Series is Thursday, January 26, at 2:30 p.m. at Augusta State University (170 University Hall), and features speakers Dr. Edgar Johnson and Dr. Shannon Byrd-Jones. Call 706-729-2416 or visit aug.edu. Magnet School, is looking for restaurants willing to donate 150 tastes of their specialties to the event. For more information, call Winnie Garrett at 706831-9254. Karma Yoga is offered at Just Breathe Studio, downtown Aiken, each Friday at 10 a.m. and is free if participants bring a donation of a personal item which will be given to the Cumbee Center to Assist Abused Persons. Call 803-648-8048 or visit justbreathestudio.com. Education Microsoft PowerPoint classes begin Thursday, January 19, at 10 a.m. at Diamond Lakes Branch Library, and continue for two consecutive Thursdays. Participants must have general knowledge of computing and word processing software. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Searching the Internet computer class is Thursday, January 19, at 11 a.m. at Appleby Branch Library. Call 706-7366244 or visit ecgrl.org. Computer classes are offered every Thursday at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. Lower School Open House is Thursday, January 19, at 6:30 p.m. at Westminster Schools of Augusta (Pamplin Hall), and features curriculum and financial aid information for interested students in grades Pre-K-5, tours, and an opportunity to meet with teachers and current WSA parents. RSVP to 706-7315260, ext. 2220, or email admissions@ wsa.net. Saturday School: Word I class is Saturday, January 21, at Headquarters Branch Library. A PINES card is required. Pre-registration required. Call 706-8212604 or visit ecgrl.org. GED classes are offered every Monday and Thursday at 9:30 a.m. and 6 p.m. at Sports-Outdoors Benefits Turn Back the Block Blue Jean Ball, featuring Blue Dogs, is Saturday, January 21, from 7-11 p.m. at 1213 Old Plantation Road in North Augusta, and benefits the restoration of the Harrisburg community. $60. Visit turnbacktheblock.com. USCA Extra Inning Professional Bull Riders is Saturday, January 21, at 8 p.m. at the James Brown Arena, and features bulls from the 2010 and 2011 PBR Bull Contractor of the Year, Jeff Robinson. Sponsored by the Augusta Cutting Horse Futurity. Proceeds benefit the USC-Aiken baseball team. $10-$22. Contact Mike Cecchini at 706-262-4573. Shepeard Community Blood Drive for January continues through January 21, in Augusta and North Augusta. Visit shepeardblood.org for locations. Sixth Annual Taste of Davidson, which will be held Thursday, February 2, from 5-6:30 p.m. at Davidson Fine Arts Augusta Canal Boat Tours lasting one hour are offered daily at 10 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m. Saturday Sunset Cruises, lasting three hours, are at 5 p.m. All tours include admission to the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center. Call 706-823-0440 or visit augustacanal.com. The Augusta Fencers Club is open five nights a week from 5:30-9 p.m. and most Saturday mornings from 10 a.m.-noon. Visitors always welcome. Call 706-722-8878. Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fastpaced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit chainreactionbicycles.net. Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. $5 entry fee and $1 ace pool. Call 803-215-8181 or visit augustadiscgolf.com. Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordan's Bicycle Cremation is not as expensive as you think. $995 Pre-pay for a complete Direct Cremation 24 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 706.798.8886 for details V. 23 | NO. 03 Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706-724-6777 or visit andyjordans.com. Progressive Show Jumping is Saturday, January 21, and Sunday, January 22, at 8 a.m. at Highfields Event Center in Aiken. Spectators welcome. Call 803-649-3505 or visit psjshows.com. Guided Trail Rides at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are available Saturdays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m., noon, 1:30 p.m., and 3 p.m.; Sundays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m. and noon; and Wednesday-Friday at 11 a.m. with reservations 24 hours in advance. All trail rides are on a first-come, first-served basis, and participants should arrive 30 minutes prior to the trail ride starting for sign in procedures. $23-$30. Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com. Second Annual Dog Gone Cold Run/Walk 5K is Saturday, January 21, at 9:30 a.m. at Julian Smith Casino BBQ Pit. Sponsord by Hopeful Hounds, Inc. and American Black and Tan Coonhound Rescue. All are invited to bring their canines. Visit hopefulhounds.org. Civil War 150th Anniversary Petersburg Boat Tours are Saturdays and Sundays at 10 a.m. (Saturday) and at 1:30 and 4:30 p.m. (Sunday). This one-hour tour explores the role the canal played during the war. $12.50. Visit augustacanal.com. The Protected Animals of Georgia is Saturday, January 21, from 11 a.m.-noon at Reed Creek Nature Park and Interpretive Center, and features information on over 117 different species protected in Georgia. Free for members, $2 for nonmembers. Free for adults. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com. Saturday Historic Trolley Tours are from 1-4:15 p.m. at the Augusta Museum of History. Reservations required 24 hours in advance. $12. Call 706-724-4067 or visit augustamuseum.org. 61st Annual Camellia Show, sponsored by the Aiken Camellia Society, is Saturday, January 21, from 3-8 p.m., and Sunday, January 22, from 1-6 p.m., at Aiken Mall. Any camellia grower may enter. Free. Call Stephanie Weldon at 803-502--1152. Augusta State Basketball vs. Georgia Southern is Saturday, January 21, at 5:30 p.m. (women) and 7:30 p.m. (men) at Christenberry Fieldhouse. Call 706-7317925 or visit aug.edu. V. 23 | NO. 03 Ancient Sky Lore is Saturday, January 21, at 7 p.m. at DuPont Planetarium, Ruth Patrick Science Education Center, in Aiken. $1-$4.50. Reservations encouraged. Call 803-641-3654 or visit rpsec.usca.edu/ planetarium/. Digistar Laser Fantasy is Saturday, January 21, at 8 p.m. at DuPont Planetarium, Ruth Patrick Science Education Center, in Aiken. $1-$4.50. Reservations encouraged. Call 803-641-3654 or visit rpsec.usca.edu/ planetarium/. Lakeside Rideouts at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are each Sunday beginning at 1:30 p.m. on a first-come, first-served basis. The ride, which begins at 2 p.m., is a two-hour guided ride to Wilkerson Lake. $45-$50. Call 706-7914864 or visit fortgordon.com. Augusta State Basketball vs. Columbus State is Monday, January 23, at 5:30 p.m. (women) and 7:30 p.m. (men) at Christenberry Fieldhouse. Call 706-7317925 or visit aug.edu. Wheelchair Tennis Clinic, presented by the Walton Foundation for Independence, meets each Monday at 6 p.m. (weather permitting) at The Club at Rae's Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or email email@example.com. Yoga Class at Euchee Creek Branch Library meets every Tuesday at 4 p.m. Call 706-5560594 or visit ecgrl.org. Nacho Mama's Group Run is each Tuesday at 5:30 p.m., and features food and drinks afterwards. Three- and four-mile routes are available for all ages and abilities of runners. Call 706-414-4059 or email jim@ enduranceconcepts.com. Augusta State Basketball vs. UNC Pembroke is Wednesday, January 25, at 5:30 p.m. (women) and 7:30 p.m. (men) at Christenberry Fieldhouse. Call 706-7317925 or visit aug.edu. Youth Archery League meets Wednesdays through March 21 from 6:30-8:30 p.m. at the Odell Weeks Center in Aiken and features lessons in history, safety and technique for ages 5-16, accompanied by an adult. $11 per session. Call 803-642-7631. MID-WINTER SALE 40-75%OFF ALL SKI WEAR & ACCESSORIES 40% OFF Sales end January 28, 2012 ALL SKI BOOTS, YOU FIT, YOU GET NEPTUNE DIVE & SKI 706.737.7900 HOT POT. Monday ursday nights One pound of shrimp (fried, grilled or boiled) $9.99 Tuesday night Crab Legs served with redskin potatoes and mixed green salad $7.99 a pound Wednesday night Bone in fried cat sh over blue cheese grits and salad $6.99 *dine in only Kids Teen Night is Friday, January 20, from 5:30-8 p.m., at Headquarters Branch Library, and features games, the movie "I am Number Four" and a snack supper. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. 375 Fury's Ferry Rd. next to Earth Fare � 706.855.5111 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 25 French Market Grille West 6 DAYS LUNCH - DINNER Intro to Musical String Instruments is Saturday, January 21, at Headquarters Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. SPLASH Free Water Safety Courses begin Monday, January 23, at the Kroc Center, and features one-hour courses, for five days, for second graders. Co-sponsored by The Family Y of Greater Augusta and The Salvation Army of Augusta. Free transportation provided between school and the Kroc Center. Call 706-922-8338 or 706-922-9606, or visit krocaugusta.org. Mother's Morning Out is every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Wilson Family Y, for children ages 3-4. The schedule follows the Richmond County school calendar. $90 per month for members; $110 per month for nonmembers. Register at any Family Y or visit thefamilyy.org. Chinese New Year Celebration with craft is Tuesday, January 24, at 10 a.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Tuesday Winter Fun is Tuesday, January 24, at 11 a.m. at Headquarters Branch Library, and features a craft workshop for ages 3-5. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Children's Programs are Wednesday, January 25, at 1 p.m. and Thursday, January 26, at 4 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Homeschool Playgroup meets each Thursday at 10:30 a.m. at Creighton Park in North Augusta. Call 803-613-0484. The Augusta Arsenal Soccer Club Junior Academy, for boys and girls ages 5-8, meets each Thursday at 5:30 p.m. at the Augusta Soccer Park. Call 706-854-0149 or visit augustasoccer.com. Preschool Story Time is every Tuesday at Headquarters Branch Library at 10 a.m. Toddler Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Groups of six or more must pre-register. Call 706772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Friedman Branch Library. Groups of six or more must pre-register. Call 706-736- 6758 or visit ecgrl.org Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. at Maxwell Branch Library. Preregistration required. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Wednesday from 10-11:15 a.m. at Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-7226275 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Harlem Branch Library. Call 706-5569795 or visit ecgrl.org. Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m., and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call 803-6427631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Toddler Time, free play for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and Wednesday from 9:30-11:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-6427631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children's department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com. Story Time is every Wednesday at Appleby Branch Library from 10:05-10:20 a.m. for toddlers 18 months-35 months, and from 10:30-11:15 a.m. for preschoolers ages 3 and up. Parent must stay with child. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Wednesday from 10:15-10:45 a.m. for Pre-K, and 11:3011:55 a.m. for toddlers at Aiken County Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org. Story Time is every Wednesday from 10:30-11 a.m. for toddlers, and 11:1511:45 a.m. for pre-schoolers at North Augusta Branch Library. Call 803-2795767 or visit abbe-lib.org. Bevy the Clown visits Thursday, January 19, from 6:30-7:30 p.m. at Maxwell Branch Library, and features an hour of stories and fun. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. If you would like to see your organization's events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at firstname.lastname@example.org. The deadline for each Thursday's issue is the previous Friday at noon. DECLASSIFIED (actual size) 1.5" x 1.9" Tall $40 per week 26 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 All declassified ads are Cash in Advance (credit card payment required) and are $40 per week. Visit metrospirit.com to place your ad in minutes. V. 23 | NO. 03 V. 23 | NO. 03 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 27 A Passion for Food CUISINESCENE "In the restaurant business, you're in the kitchen. I was a back of the house guy and, a lot of times, you don't get to put a face to a plate." As for most catering companies in Augusta, the annual Masters Tournament is a boon for business and is a week when Williams says he and his staff work between 90-120 hours. And while the tournament has experienced a down couple of years from a spectator standpoint, Williams says he sees an upswing for 2012. "I think it's going to be a great Masters this year," he said. "We're close to having a lot of our slots full for Masters and we have for months, which is great because you want to be." Williams says he and his staff take the downtime in January and February to begin working out Masters Week logistical issues like lighting and tents. "We try to get those things done these months because soon we'll be more concerned with the food production," he explained. "And you know, Masters is right at the beginning of wedding season." Wedding season, Williams says, runs each March through July and is a time in which he and his staff barely have time to slow down and catch their breath. And, besides the outstanding food, one of the reasons Roux's is so popular with couples is the Marbury Center, a downtown event venue Williams owns that was a fire station in its former life. Today, the fire station turned Marbury Center is an intimate gathering place with a beautiful courtyard that sets it AMYCHRISTIAN As Roux's celebrates 15 years, its owner still loves to cook dishes like their pesto grilled chicken, pulled pork with Southern Comfort barbecue sauce or the Carolina Cobb Salad with barbecued chicken, bleu cheese and Vidalia onion dressing. Through their Get and Go service, Roux's can prepare boxed or hot lunches for corporate clients and bring the meals right to their doors. And they can set the meal up in chafing dishes, which they'll come back and pick up, or deliver them in disposable containers. There's a menu on Roux's website, but clients should always call to see what specials the company is offering. "We try and keep it seasonal," Williams explained. "In the summer, we'll do a lot of jerk and barbecued chicken with sweet corn pudding. Now, it's more roasted greens and root vegetables than we see in the summer months." And while Roux's always appreciates big events like Masters and weddings, Williams says it is lunch business that keeps them busy on a day-to-day basis. "I have gone on and on about Masters and how lucky we are in Augusta to have it because it is such a huge, huge boon to the area," he explained. "But we also benefit from the medical community. Masters, it's a week a year but our medical community is every day. Our medical community is just huge and the way it has grown in recent years it can only get better. And that benefits everybody." It certainly benefits Roux's, which has grown by leaps and bounds in the past 15 years. That growth takes Williams out of the kitchen a lot of times, but he still wears his apron around the office, almost as a reminder of what made him get into catering in the first place. "The business side has kind of pulled me out of the kitchen, which is my passion," he said. "The good side of that is cooking is still a getaway for me, even when I do it here. I love being in the kitchen with the guys. That's where all the fun happens." And hopefully the fun will continue to happen for many years to come. Roux's Catering at the Marbury Center 1244 Jones Street, Augusta 706-724-2218 rouxscatering.com Roux's Catering celebrated its 15th anniversary last November. It's quite an accomplishment for any small business, much less one in the tough and competitive food service industry, and it's one that no one appreciates more than its owner, Robert Williams. "You know the years roll by and you don't think about them that much, but when you do sit back and think about it..." he says, trailing off while shaking his head. "When I first opened Roux's it was like, `Gosh, if we can make it two years that'd be great.' When we made it two years, I just hoped we could make it five. And, now, before you know it, it's been 15 years." Catering is rewarding in a way Williams says he couldn't imagine when he was a line cook. A native of Augusta, Williams worked for 10 years in restaurants before he and his wife Natalie decided to go out on their own. The difference between working in a restaurant and owning a catering company, he explains, is vast. "The thing I think I like most about the catering business is the interaction we get with the clients," he explained. apart from the large and impersonal banquet rooms in which many catered affairs are held. Clients, however, don't have to visit the Marbury Center on a special occasion to get a taste of Roux's famous 28 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 V. 23 | NO. 03 Off the Couch AMYCHRISTIAN Beginner running program aims to get you to the finish line Jenafer McCauley likes to begin each No Boundaries information session with a joke. "I say, `So who here is a runner?' and then I hope nobody raises their hands because then I say, `Good. You're in the right place,'" she laughs. The intent behind the joke is to make attendees more comfortable, since No Boundaries is a couch to 5K program. Fleet Feet, a North Augusta running store that Jenafer owns with her husband Michael, has held six 5K training programs, and the next one starts on February 11. "It's such a great program because it's really for anybody," she explains. "We kind of break it out for all levels of runners and walkers and do it over 12 weeks. It's a very gradual walk-run program. We've had people complete the program as young as 8 or 9, and we had a lady who's 62 who finished it." Those who join the program receive a 12-week training plan, meet with the group three times during the week and more. Each Saturday's training session is followed by a clinic on topics such as form, nutrition and hydration. At the end of the program, participants complete a local 5K (3.1 mile) race. And though those interested can sign up online, McCauley encourages anyone who has doubts to attend an information meeting. "I really try to encourage people to they'll get a little bit of a boost from an unexpected source. "The best part of doing it as a group is the accountability and the encouragement," she says. "You know that if you don't come to a run, somebody's going to check on you. It really helps get people through the whole program." she says of those who drop out. "For the most part, most people finish." The No Boundaries program has grown in the area, and McCauley says that corporate programs are also available. They recently completed their first corporate program at Plant Vogtle. It has also spawned 10K and half-marathon training programs, so most people stick with running even after the program is over. "We have people who've gone on to do 10Ks, several have joined the Augusta Striders [running club] and one lady met her new husband, so it's a pretty life-changing experience for most people," she says. "And I love the comeback stories. Several people just finished the half-marathon group and some of them started in the 5K group, so that was huge." No Boundaries Couch to 5K Information Sessions: January 23, 6 p.m.; February 6, 6 p.m.; February 9, 6 p.m.; Kickoff: February 11 $85 come to an information session so we can try to break down those barriers," she says. Once people begin to believe that they can cover the distance, McCauley says McCauley said that the program averages 25-30 participants each session and that 90 percent of those who sign up make it to the finish line. "And usually, it's a scheduling thing," V. 23 | NO. 03 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 29 W IT H T H E W I N G! N O W T A K IN G S U P E R S U N D AY T O -G O O R D E R S Matt Acosta & the Special Guests Friday Night Rocks Thursday with Toyzz Saturday Night Live with The Lunatics plus Sabo & Mike Sunday Conference Championships 3035 Washington Rd. � 706-364-WILD (9453) www. wi l dwi n gcaf e. com 30 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 V. 23 | NO. 03 Michael Johnson mejphoto.photoreflect.com SIGHTINGS Eric Wickenheiser and Stephanie Wunsch with Alisha and Jared Macky at The Country Club. Allison Sipes, Caitlin Pattison, Kella Smith and Franny Radford at the Memorial Fundraiser for Scotty Richardson at Buffalo Wild Wings Grill & Bar. Patrick and Natalie Carlisle with Robyn and David Fallaw at the Memorial Fundraiser for Scotty Richardson at Buffalo Wild Wings Grill & Bar. SIGHTINGS Jamie Hardigree, Maddie Dougherty and Leah Nazzaro at The County Club. Josh Cathey, Jessica Blair, Christine Mahre and Nate Cummings at Allie Katz. Macy and Jennifer Landrum with Ashley Cauley at Wild Wing Cafe. SIGHTINGS mejphoto.photoreflect.com Michael Johnson Clinton Moore and Noel Ericson with Ashley and Jason Brittain at Wild Wing Cafe. Amber Smith, Stephanie Miller and Amanda Young at Somewhere in Augusta. David and Corrin Downie with Allison Mika and Matt Hermane at SOA Columbia County Music Series featuring the Doric String Quartet at the Jabez Sanford Hardin Performing Arts Center. Serving Augusta for 28 years SURRY CENTER ON HIGHLAND AVE. - THE FRENCHMARKETGRILLE.COM - 706.737.4865 V. 23 | NO. 03 >HAPPY HOUR : MON-FRI 4:30 P.M. - 7:00 P.M. DRINK SPECIALS METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 31 THEEIGHT BOX TOPS A cliche-filled heist movie takes the top spot. It stars Mark Wahlberg? Oh... RANK 1 2 3 4 5 TITLE CONTRABAND BEAUTY AND THE BEAST 3D MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE-GHOST PROTOCOL JOYFUL NOISE SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS WEEKEND GROSS $24,349,815 $17,751,905 $11,686,617 $11,225,190 $8,592,657 TOTAL GROSS $24,349,815 $17,751,905 $186,933,406 $11,225,190 $170,192,301 WEEK # 1 1 5 1 5 LAST WEEK 2 3 "Contraband" You may experience d�j� vu, but it still might just steal your heart Somehow "Contraband" manages to weave in every clich� of the heist movie without making them feel like they're being pulled off the high shelf and dusted off. We learn in the first five minutes that the hero, Chris, played by a tumor-serious Mark Wahlberg, used to be awesome at smuggling, that he hearts his family, that he's now retired from smuggling, but that he will need to make One Last Big Score if he's going to escape the life forever. We find this out because he and some buddies talk about smuggling Ferraris while they whoop it up at a wedding reception (family!). There they also find out that Chris' young brother-in-law Andy (Caleb Landry Jones) has angered some very bad guys by ditching some coke he was smuggling as the fuzz raided the boat he was riding. This puts Chris in the position of having to come up with a large quantity of money to pay back a violent scuzzbag named Briggs, played by a restraining-order-ready Giovanni Ribisi. Not convinced you've seen this one before? The black dude dies first. Case rested. But "Contraband" winds up more fun than it sounds. In the end, it gets points for taking on a strangely underrepresented area of crime cinema. The job in question requires Chris and Andy to hop a freighter in New Orleans and hustle down to Panama, allowing director Baltasar Kormakur, an Icelander, to pack us into the claustrophobic confines of a cargo ship. While Chris and a few well-placed accomplices move about like cockroaches, on the way to rendezvousing with some highly unsavory sorts in Panama, the walls close in. Briggs is making threats against Chris' wife (Kate Beckinsale) and young sons, time is short and Chris' BFF Sebastian (Ben Foster) is doing not the best job of keeping the family safe back in N'awlins. The tone and the pace work, as does the bluesy soundtrack and the dash of cin�ma v�rit� to keep the proceedings a touch off-kilter. Even on the allegedly dry land of south Louisiana, we always feel the sway of a ship beneath us. Ribisi and Wahlberg turn in strong enough performances that their rivalry should've formed a tighter core to the tension. The shady underbelly of container SAMEIFLING shipping could've made for a better procedural. Instead, on its Panama trip, "Contraband" lists into shoot-'em-up territory, then back into a blue-collar "Ocean's Eleven," except less surprising. If a movie can be simultaneously overwritten (action sequences, smuggling drama) and underwritten (does no one have anything unexpected to say?) then "Contraband" hits the sweet spot. Even in small touches, it's hard to give it a pass. When Briggs is sending photos and voicemails that Andy's picking up seamlessly on his mobile in a Panamanian slum, you wonder at the roaming plan the kid scored before leaving port. At least the grit often feels right. The cursory glance that customs agents give to some suspect cargo containers is a reminder of how thin port security is, not just in the States but in most places. All these ships, sluicing in and out of oceans and rivers -- it has the feel of something persistent and unexplored. It's only because "Contraband" seems to get so much right in those depictions that the movie feels disappointing for overreaching into different subplots. A more sinister version of "Contraband" would've relied less on lucky coincidences and manufactured family drama and stuck closer to the crimes in question. That movie would be darker, more frightening and downright unsettling. But good luck smuggling that film into the multiplex. PICK 3FOR $16.99 COURSES 2800 WASHINGTON ROAD 1 STARTER + 1ENTR�E + 1 DESSERT COURSES PICK 3FOR $12.99 1 STARTER + 1ENTR�E + 1 DESSERT 32 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 1ENTR�E + 1 STARTER OR 1 DESSERT PICK 2FOR $10 COURSES � IN HERE, IT'S ALWAYS FRIDAY. V. 23 | NO. 03 FREEWILLASTROLOGY OPENING FRIDAY, JANUARY 20 HORROR CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) "Underworld: Awakening" rated R. Starring Kate Beckinsale, Stephen Rea. Ahhh... the return of the series that launched in 2003, when vampires and werewolves weren't yet young adult material. We welcome the return of Kate Beckinsale in the role of Selene, but we're most looking forward to the return of her black leather bodysuit. Suck on that, Catwoman. ACTION "Haywire," rated R. Starring Ewan McGregor, Michael Fassbender, Gina Carano. Directed by Steven Soderbergh, which sounds odd when you discover that it stars an MMA fighter and is about a black ops super soldier. "Sex, Lies and Videotape" this ain't. "Red Tails," rated PG-13. Starring Bryan Cranston, Cub Gooding Jr., Terrence Howard. The inspiring story of the Tuskegee Airmen. The Bible addresses the subjects of money and possessions in about 2,000 verses, but devotes only 500 verses to prayer and 500 to faith. As you know, my advice in these horoscopes usually tends to have the opposite emphasis, but this time, I'm going to be more like the Bible. You have a mandate to think extra deeply and super creatively about money and possessions. Feel free to pray for financial guidance and meditate on increasing your cash flow. extra energy it took to haul around so much extra weight. To win a great victory in the coming weeks, shed as many of your defense mechanisms and as much of your emotional baggage as possible. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) DRAMA "Coriolanus," rated R. Starring Ralph Fiennes, Gerard Butler, Brian Cox. Ralph Fiennes (Voldermort!) makes his directorial debut with this lesserknown Shakespeare play. A face-off between Voldermort and Leonidas will surely be something to see, at least according to Josh Ruffin. Here's one of my favorite quotes from Ralph Waldo Emerson: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you think." It's crucial for you to know your own mind and speak your own thoughts. It's smart to trust your own instincts and draw on your own hard-won epiphanies. Don't just be skeptical of the conventional wisdom; be cautious about giving too much credence to every source of sagacity and expertise. You will be more famous than you've ever been before. That might mean you'll become better known or more popular... or it could take a different turn. To tease out the nuances, let's draw on Naomi Shihab Nye's poem "Famous." "The river is famous to the fish. // The loud voice is famous to silence, / which knew it would inherit the earth / before anybody said so. // The cat sleeping on the fence is famous to the birds / watching him from the birdhouse. // The tear is famous, briefly, to the cheek. // The idea you carry close to your bosom / is famous to your bosom." VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Mark Gibbons strapped a washing machine to his back and climbed to the top of Mount Snowdown in Wales to raise charity money for the Kenyan Orphan Project. If you try anything as crazy as he did, make sure it's for an equally worthy cause. You could stir up a lot of good mojo by wandering into previously off-limits zones as you push past the limitations people expect you to honor. Three famous actresses formed the British Anti-Cosmetic Surgery League last year. Rachel Wiesz, Kate Winslet and Emma Thompson say they believe people should be happy with the physical appearance that nature gave them. Unlike most of the rest of us, those three women were born gorgeous, so it's easy for them to promise not to mess with their looks. Do you ever urge other people to do what's natural for you but a challenge for them? If you want to influence someone to change, be willing to change something about yourself that's hard to change. ARIES (March 21-April 19) LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) ECO ER W ND ME M The Macy's ad I saw in the newspaper had a blaring headline: "Find Your Magic 2.0." The items that were being touted to help us discover our upgraded and more deluxe sense of magic were luxurious diamond rings. The cheapest was $2,150. To get in touch with Magic 2.0, you need to take a decidedly non-materialistic approach. What does your intuition tell you about how to hook up with a higher, wilder version of the primal mojo? TAURUS (April 20-May 20) I predict major breakthroughs in your relationship to intimacy and togetherness in 2012 -- if, that is, you keep in mind the following counsel from psychologist Dr. Neil Clark Warren: "Attraction and chemistry are easily mistaken for love, but they are far from the same thing. Being attracted to someone is immediate and largely subconscious. Staying deeply in love with someone happens gradually and requires conscious decisions, made over and over again." The U.S. Constitution has survived 222 years, longer than the constitution of any other nation. But one of America's founding fathers, Thomas Jefferson, might have had a problem with that. He believed our constitution should be revised every 19 years. How long has it been since you've amended or overhauled your own rules to live by? Judging by the astrological omens, I suspect it's high time. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) "Once" This 2006 Irish film is dubbed a musical, but don't let that scare you off. This ain't "Chicago." Rather, it's a sweet, quiet movie about two people, unnamed throughout the movie, who meet on a popular Dublin street. He's an Irish busker, playing his guitar and singing (Glen Hansard sounds a bit like a young Cat Stevens) for change; she's from Czechloslovakia and makes a modest living selling roses. Eventually they end up in a music store, where, on a borrowed piano, he teaches her the most beautiful song you will ever hear in your life. "Falling Slowly," which won an Academy Award for Best Original song, comes together so naturally in that scene that it'll give you goosebumps no matter how often you see it. The fact that Hansard and Marketa Irglova are real-life musicians rather than actors make it seem that the movie is really happening, and will make you root for the two to succeed professionally and romantically. So yeah, technically this is a romantic musical, but it's the most unsentimental musical you'll ever see. You'll enjoy it the first time because of the story. You'll want to watch it again and again for the music. V. 23 | NO. 03 GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Purslane is a plant that's also known colloquially as pigweed. It's hearty, prolific and spreads fast. In a short time, it can grow out-of-control, covering a large area with a thick carpet. On the other hand, it's a tasty salad green and has a long history of being used as a cooked vegetable. As a medicinal herb, it's also quite useful, being rich in omega-3 fatty acids as well as a number of vitamins and minerals. Does anything in your life fit that description? "It is respectable to have no illusions -- and safe -- and profitable and dull," said author Joseph Conrad. Decry the blah gray sterility that comes from entertaining no fantastic fantasies and unreasonable dreams. Study all those irrational and insane urges running around your mind to see what you can learn about your deep, dark unconsciousness. (P.S.: But I'm not saying you should act on any of those phantasms, at least not now. Simply be amused by them.) SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) CANCER (June 21-July 22) As he approaches his 70th birthday, retiree and Michigan resident Michael Nicholson is still hard at work adding to his education. He's got 27 college degrees so far, including 12 master's degrees and a doctorate. Although he's not an "A" student, he loves learning for its own sake. I nominate him to be your role model for the coming weeks. Your opportunities for absorbing new lessons will be at a peak. Take full advantage of all the teachings that will be available. If you were a medieval knight going into battle with a full suit of armor, the advantage you had from the metal's protection was offset by the FREEWILLASTROLOGY@FREEWILLASTROLOGY.COM METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 33 Rob Brezsny Thursday, January 19 Live Music Coyote's - Jeremy Graham French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Smooth Jazz Joe's Underground - Jamie Jones One Hundred Laurens - Kenny George Polo Tavern - Kenny George Red Pepper Cafe - Funk/Fusion Jazz Rose Hill Stables - Preston, Weston and Sandra Surrey Tavern - Funk You Acoustic Travinia's - Smooth Jazz Wild Wing - Matt Acosta & The Special Guests The Willcox - Classic Jazz Laura's Backyard Tavern - David Hope The Playground - She N She Sector 7G - I See Stars, Stick To Your Guns, Our Last Night, Memphis May Fire, Make Me Famous Sky City - Pocket the Moon, Finster, The Kooties, Jerod Gay & Friends Stillwater Tap Room - The Burning Angels Surrey Tavern - Simplified The First Round - Ravenswood, Stillview, Zebo Wild Wing - Toyzz Tropicabana - Latin Friday Wheels - Live DJ Wooden Barrel - Karaoke Contest Saturday, January 21 Live Music The Acoustic Coffeehouse - Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Cotton Patch - Unfinished Business Country Club - Ross Coppley Coyote's - Joe Olds Band Joe's Underground - Jeff Johnston Laura's Backyard Tavern - David Hope P.I. Bar and Grill - Not Gaddy Jazz Polo Tavern - Robbie Ducey Band Sector 7G - TFS Rave: Fight For the Future w/ Linear North, Polyphase, Number 5 Sky City - Dredneck, Mark Deez, GA Rockin Rob Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke Ms. Carolyn's - Karaoke One Hundred Laurens - DJ Kenny Ray Tropicabana - Salsa Saturday Wheels - Live DJ Wooden Barrel - Kamikaze Karaoke Sunday, January 22 Live Music 5 O'Clock Bistro - Buzz and Candice The Willcox - Mike Frost and Lauren Meccia Wild Wing - Sabo & Mike What's Tonight? What's Tonight? Bell Auditorium - Jerry Seinfeld Casa Blanca - Thursday Tango Club Argos - Karaoke Cocktails Lounge - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox's Lair - Soup, Suds & Conversations Helga's Pub & Grille - Trivia The Highlander - Butt Naked Trivia The Loft - Karaoke Malibu Jack's - Sports Trivia with Mike Thomas Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) - Karaoke One Hundred Laurens - DJ Jerry Feels Good & Co. Pizza Joint, Evans - DJ Kris Fisher The Playground - Open Mic with Brandy Polo Tavern - DJ Nirvana Shannon's - Karaoke Villa Europa - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - '80s Night Karaoke Club Argos - Variety Show Cocktails Lounge - Grown-Up Fridays with DJ Cork and Bull Pub - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke What's Tonight? Caribbean Soul - Love Jones Sundays Malibu Jacks - Karaoke with Mike Swift Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke, Salsa Dancing Monday, January 23 What's Tonight? Applebee's (Evans) - Trivia Club Argos - Karaoke Malibu Jack's - Trivia with Mike Thomas Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Trivia with Mike Thomas Somewhere In Augusta - Free PokerTournaments Wild Wing - Trivia Tuesday, January 24 Live Music Cocktails Lounge - Live Music Fox's Lair - John Fisher The Highlander - Open Mic Night Wild Wing - Brandon Hooker Duo The Willcox - Piano Jazz Friday, January 20 Live Music 1102 Bar & Grill - Vox Inertia Cotton Patch - Keith Gregory Country Club - Kayson Layne Coyote's - Joe Olds Band French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Imperial Theatre - Mountain Heart, Tony Rice Joe's Underground - TX Clergy What's Tonight? H ELGA $ PUB & G RILLE TRIVIA 2015 CENTRAL AVE. 34 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 700 'S Club Argos - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Dart League Laura's Backyard Tavern - Karaoke Malibu Jack's - Karaoke with Denny Somewhere In Augusta - Big Prize Trivia & Hawk Talk Iron Horse Bar & Grill - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Three J's Karaoke Ms. Carolyn's - Karaoke One Hundred Laurens - DJ Jerry Feels Good & Co. Palmetto Tavern - DJ Tim Rebeck's Hideaway - Open Mic Roadrunner Cafe - Karaoke with Steve Chappel Soul Bar - Pop Life Froze, Mac & Slim, J Fresh Soul Bar - Dr. Bread, Joycette Surrey Tavern - Tony Williams & The Blue Express Wild Wing - The Lunatics Wednesday, January 25 Live Music 209 on the River - Smooth Grooves Joe's Underground - Sibling String Wild Wing - The Hollerers 00 in PRIZES! What's Tonight? THURS. & SAT. 8:30PM "Over a hundred different beers.. with thirty beers on tap!" Club Argos - Variety Show Cocktails Lounge - Latin Night Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox's Lair - Karaoke Helga's Pub & Grille - Trivia The Loft - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with What's Tonight? Club Argos - Santoni's Satin Dolls Cocktails Lounge - Augusta's Got Talent Cotton Patch - Trivia and Tunes Coyote's - Drink N Drown w/ DJ Jeff Laura's Backyard Tavern - Karaoke The Loft - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke V. 23 | NO. 03 V. 23 | NO. 03 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 35 36 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 V. 23 | NO. 03 V. 23 | NO. 03 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 37 38 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 V. 23 | NO. 03 SOMEWHEREINAUGUSTA.COM Snoop Smokes Something Other Than Weed? 2820 Washington Rd. | Augusta | 706.739.0002 JANUARYROSTER Can you hear us now? After a huge response from the announcement five months ago that Augusta's favorite rock station was going to go away, 95 Rock returned this week with a new signal and a new sound. 95.5 FM is the new home for 95 Rock, along with keeping 93.1 FM, and funny enough, adding an AM signal, 1480. Coined as the "Rockfather," Program Director Chuck Williams (my boss) has also added new music to 95, and took out some music as well. Some of those great alternative bands like the Black Keys and Muse are now featured in place of the classic rock tracks. God bless you Chuck. The first song played on the resurrected station was "Uprising" by Muse. Perfect. As for on-air personalities, Lex and Terry stay at mornings, Chuck handles middays from 10 a.m.-2 p.m., my sweet sultry voice takes over from 2-6 p.m. and Sanj has nights from 6-10 p.m. Check out the new signal and, on a personal note, thanks for the support Augusta, I'm impressed. Let's hug it out. People still laugh at me when I tell them that Facebook will one day again be second to their rival Myspace. I know, get the laughter over with and then continue reading. With all the current changes to Facebook, the social networking site now resembles the Myspace of four years ago. This past week Myspace co-owner, Justin Timberlake, yes, that Justin Timberlake, announced the redesign of the site along with the addition of Myspace TV. So again, mark my words, it will return to be the top networking site. I know, you're laughing again. Side note: I just checked my Myspace page and it seems that a lot of porn stars want to be my friend. I'm so popular. In good news, Alice in Chains has hit the studio and are working on a new album. This will the follow-up to 2009's "Black Gives Way to Blue," which was marked as the official return of Alice in Chains after the death of original lead singer Layne Staley. Don't do drugs kids. No release date just yet. Yippee, blunts for everyone! If I were taking advice on smoking from anyone, I would go to the master himself, Snoop Dogg. And good news for us, the rapper is lighting up with a new line of cigars, Executive Branch, which he will unveil to the world at the Coachella Festival when he headlines with Dr. Dre. I have a feeling that his cigars won't be featuring tobacco. I really need to stop looking at the Billboard music charts. Adele is back at No 1. After 46 weeks being on the charts, she's back at No. 1. What is wrong with you people? At least the top 5 has The Black Keys and Coldplay, so there are some redeeming qualities. Download of the week is the new single from Sleigh Bells, called "Comeback Kid." The track is off their second album, "Reign of Terror," which will hit store shelves on February 14. Do it. As for your weekend plans, there's only one place that you need to be, or at least be on Saturday night. Join the whole 95 Rock crew at 1102 Downtown Bar and Grill for Chuck Williams' 60th birthday party. That's right, 60th! Kris Fisher will be DJing, mostly playing Ace of Base and 2 Live Crew, great mix, and then Pretty Petty will hit the stage at 10. There's no cover and I'm sure we'll all be in rare form. Come out and say happy birthday to Chuck and thank him for 95 Rock. What shows am I missing? What bands should I see? Email matt@themetrospirit. com and let me know. Matt Stone can be heard weekdays from 2-6 p.m. on 95 Rock. V. 23 | NO. 03 Friday 1/20: Live Riverhawks Watch Party 7pm AUG@PEN 10pm FREE UFC Guillard vs Miller Saturday 1/21: Live Riverhawks Watch Party 7pm - AUG @ PEN MONDAY FRIDAY Thursday: Friday: LUNCH SPECIALS | ONLY $6.99 | 11AM-3PM 2 INMUSIC Homemade meat sauce simmered to perfection then placed on top of fresh cooked spaghetti noodles with garlic toast. Sunday 1/22: NFL PLAYOFFS 3pm RAVENS @ PATRIOTS 6:30pm GIANTS @ 49ers Monday 1/23: 7pm & 9pm Free Poker Tournaments Every monday Hand battered golden fried chicken with homemade baked mac-n-cheese & Italian green beans saut�ed with bacon. Monday: I LOVE BURGER MONDAYS! Tuesday: Tuesday 1/24: 6pm Hawk Talk 8pm Trivia Tournament: Win a VIP Booth for 25 people at the Country Country Fried Steak with homemade gravy, mashed potatoes, green beans, corncake. Club with $100 in food from Somewhere + More! Homemade Meatloaf with mashed potatoes & green beans. (pictured above) Wednesday: 1/25 WEDNESDAY COMEDY ZONE | 8PM JOHN WESLEY AUSTIN has been working JOSH PHILLIPS uses his descriptive style to the comedy club circuit for over 18 years, & it shows in his side splitting & sometimes-outrageous routine. He shoots off one-liners about real-life topics & exhilarates fans everywhere by relating to them with a unique, hilarious perspective on the human experience. When he picks up the guitar, you will be treated to parodies of familiar country songs & some hysterical originals too. paint detailed & painfully funny pictures in the minds of audiences throughout the Country. His ability to capture the trust of the audience & lead them to the depths of depraved humor without offending is amazing, unexplainable & unique among comics. Tickets $8 - must be seated by 7:30pm | 18 and up call to reserve your table METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 39 Spoiled Rotten Call Us or Go Online for Your FREE Estimate! SEE WHAT FISH HAS TO OFFER: Expert Window Cleaning, Including Sills & Screens Gutters, Chandeliers, Skylights, Mirrors & More Uniformed, Bonded, Insured, Professional Cleaners Commercial & Residential Service 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed (706) 305-3900 Locally Owned & Operated Is it dusty in here or is it just me? This weekend, two teams who remind us what championship football is supposed to look like dust off their thought-to-be outdated game plans (San Francisco 49ers), and roll out a coach and a QB who, despite success, have been left for dead too many times to count (New York Giants). And what just so happens to be on the line for this one? How about the right to represent the NFC in Indianapolis for Super Bowl XLVI. It's the primetime matchup of the weekend taking place this Sunday at 6:30 p.m. on FOX, and the entire nation will be watching to see who emerges from the street fight. (Note: both games each team were involved in last weekend were ratings monsters for FOX. The Saints-49ers peak audience was a 23.6 share, or 42.5 million viewers. The Giants-Packers registered at a whopping 27.4 share -- the highest for any divisional game on any network since 1997's Cowboys vs. Panthers.) I'm sure at this point you are wondering what this has to do with the CSRA. Well, everything to be exact. Both teams field former standouts from the CSRA whose dynamic play has not only galvanized their locker rooms with reputable veterans, but been a large part of the ongoing story of each team's success. Defense. It wins championships. Deon Grant starred at T.W. Josey High School before going on to be an All-American at Tennessee, and eventually left after his junior season for the NFL draft, where he was drafted by the Carolina Panthers in the second round in 2000. Since bouncing around multiple teams, Grant, now in his second season with the Giants, is one of the veteran stalwarts in the G-Men's secondary. Equipped with a defensive line that looks like one for the ages, their one vulnerability is their secondary, so Grant has to always be on his A game. Well, he's done just that with nine tackles (eight solo), one interception, one forced fumble and three passes defended so far this postseason. These stats come from his safety position, which many times acts as a last resort for the defense. This is especially the case when the opposing QB throws it deep. He's practically on an island by himself. Someone who has grown accustomed to being on an island is former Butler High School stud Carlos Rogers. Since moving from the east coast's Washington Redskins to the jewel of the west coast, the San Francisco 49ers, Rogers' output from his cornerback position has exploded. In his seventh season as a pro, Rogers set a career record for interceptions in a season with six. This career mark was also good enough to put him tied for fourth place in the entire NFL for the regular season. Oh, how far he's come since his days at Auburn. He also gets to share the field with a defense that has one of the best defensive line and linebacking cores in all the land. Seriously, have you seen this 49er defense? Scary stuff. They all look like perfect specimens created to bash in the heads of anything and anybody in their way. Like extras in the movie "Solider" from the late '90s. Yeah, the one starring Kurt Russell. Now these aren't the only two former players from the area playing in the NFL, but they are the only two still playing and contributing to teams that still have a puncher's chance to obtain the ultimate prize. It's going to be a dogfight, folks. Both teams have outstanding coaches and championship pedigrees. Lucky for us, a few players who'll be front and center when the lights shine their brightest can trace their lineage back to the good ole CSRA. ONTHEBALL fishwindowcleaning.com/3022 Games to Watch NFLPA Collegiate Bowl: Saturday, January 21, 3 p.m. NBC Sports Network Jason Barnes (South Carolina-WR) and Greenwood, South Carolina's own Kadarron Anderson (Furman-LB) try to display their NFL stock for scouts and local fans to see. East-West Shrine Game: Saturday, January 21, 4 p.m. NFL Network Travian Robertson (DL-South Carolina), Bruce Figgins (FB/TE-UGA) and Blair Walsh (K-UGA) will give it a go one last time from the college ranks as they hope to show that their best days on the gridiron aren't behind them. Baltimore Ravens @ New England Patriots: Sunday, January 22, 3 p.m. CBS Patriots are favorites in this one as America looks to see if Joe Flacco can produce the upset. Don't count on it. NY Giants @ San Francisco 49ers: Sunday, January 22, 6:30 p.m. FOX Going to be an incredible game. #CantWait Matt Lane is host of The Weekend Rundown which airs from 10 a.m.-noon Saturdays on News-Talk-Sports 1630 AM. He can be reached at email@example.com or follow him on Twitter @Mattlane28. 40 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 V. 23 | NO. 03 ADVICEGODDESS Witchful Thinking I'm a retired pastor in my 50s. A nearby church wanted my help with their Christmas musical, and I asked my wife of five years, who played bass at my church, to join me. She became angry at this suggestion and said I should do my own thing on Christmas and she'd do hers. She then announced that she'd be spending Christmas Eve with her (single, lonely) ex-boyfriend, staying the night at his place and hiking with him on Christmas Day. I was taken aback. I said this had the "whiff of adultery" and wondered if she wanted to end the marriage. She flew into a rage. How could I even think of calling her an adulteress, etc.? Their overnight got canceled because his son came home for Christmas, but she's still mad -- barely talking to or looking at me. I confess, I'm a conflict avoider and in counseling for it. But what do I do about a woman whose rage can last for several hours to a month or more? Who gives me lengthy, pedantic lectures about how pathetic and hopeless I am? If I say, "Then why don't you leave me?" she says, "Because I love you." -- Stuck make a real connection Call Livelinks. The hottest place to meet the coolest people. Your wife has some creative interpretations of classic Christmas songs: "I'll be home for Christmas"? Naw. "You'll be home for Christmas, and I'll be sleeping over at my ex-boyfriend's." Question this in the slightest and the burning smell will be your chestnuts roasting over an open fire. First, the obvious: Unless there's some previously agreed-upon "interesting" marital arrangement, wives do not get to have ex-boyfriend sleepovers. As for a pastor's wife picking Christmas for hers, what's the matter, was he busy on your wedding anniversary? A "love" like hers sends chills down a man's spine -- that is, when the man happens to have one. Did you forget yours at the airport? Maybe leave it at a hotel? Although your wife is engaging in outrageous emotional abuse, your reaction -- your fear of her rage, which she uses to control you and get her way -- is what keeps it going. You might have had a different relationship dynamic (or a different woman altogether) if only you'd put your foot down -- stood up to her instead of always lying down and rolling over so she could better kick you in the head. You should read "No More Mr. Nice Guy," by reformed doormat Dr. Robert Glover. Glover lays out how conflict-avoidant men go limp in the face of abuse because of their approval-seeking (driven by low self-worth and fear of abandonment) and their hiding of flaws and mistakes (instead of accepting themselves as fallible and human). Transforming oneself from a chewtoy among men doesn't happen overnight. Until you build self-respect, act like somebody who has it. Set standards for how you'll be treated, and inform your exploding wife that you expect them to be met (which may take anger management), and tell her that you'll walk if the rage and unloving treatment continue. And mean it. So, if she wants to have a little overnight with her ex, tell her that's her prerogative -- when your divorce is final. Remember, you're never too old to be happy, and to instill healthy behavior, and to have something a little warmer and sexier at Christmas than a lecture about what a pathetic loser you are under the mistletoe. 706.434.0108 Local Numbers: 1.800.210.1010 Ahora en Espa�ol 18+ www.livelinks.com Call us today at 706.667.9009 Baby, I Need Your Oven I love good food and wine, but I hate cooking and I'm bad at it. When you're dating, it seems like you're supposed to cook your partner dinner at a certain point, especially if you're a woman. I think I'm at that point now, and I'm considering setting a nice table and ordering takeout. Will he think I'm not that interested if I don't break out the cookbook? -- Food and Whine According to needlepointed pillows, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Actually, it's through his sternum with a big saw. I say that a bit defensively because I, too, love good food but spend all of my time slaving over a hot computer. (I don't cook; I heat.) Luckily, I have a boyfriend who likes to cook for me, but for some guys, a woman who doesn't cook is an automatic dealbreaker. For others, it's a bit of a bummer, but what matters is whether the woman otherwise is giving and shows in various ways that she wants to take care of them. You'll find out which kind of man you have when you're honest with him about who you are -- a woman who sets a beautiful table and serves a delicious dinner right out of "The Joy of Calling Up the Chinese Restaurant and Giving Them Your Credit Card Number." THINK. NOT A BIG BOX... NOT EVEN CLOSE Are you so frustrated with your computer you've considered tossing it out the window? Is it so slow you can barely use it? Are you having trouble getting to your favorite web page... or facebood? Are you even tempted to teake it to one of those Big Box Stores for service? Think again! Do you really want the place that sells you envelopes or flat screen TVs working on your computer? Bring it to ComputerOne today... and our real computer guys will make it all better at a price you can afford. We're the opposite of a Big Box Store. We're the little store in Fairway Square and although we have our own of computer experts, we dont really call them geeks (at least to their faces). They're just competent, skilled computer technicians with the know-how to clean up your computer at a reasonable price and get you back on the internet fast. And although we're not keeping score, given the fact we're celebrating our 25th anniversary this year, it is very likely we've sold and repaired more computers than any other company in Augusta... and we have thousands of satisfied customers to prove it. NOTABIGBOX.COM �2011, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or email firstname.lastname@example.org. Also visit advicegoddess.com and read Amy Alkon's book: "I See Rude People: One Woman's Battle to Beat Some Manners Into Impolite Society" (McGraw-Hill, $16.95). Professional Virus & Spyware Removal Services $69.95 About Us | Services | Virus and Spyware Removal | Custom Built Computers | Point of Sale Systems | Driving Directions | Contact Us Copyright 2011 ComputerOne Technology, Inc., All Rights Reserved - Website developed, hosted and maintained by Southfire, Inc. 2825 Washington Rd., Fairway Square Shopping Center, Augusta, GA 30909 - 706.667.9009 V. 23 | NO. 03 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 41 Jenny Wright lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis. The Holy Grail The television show your kids should be watching Before The Kids go to bed for a little reading time, we let them watch 30 minutes or an hour of TV. I know they're not supposed to watch television before bed, but they don't watch a whole lot otherwise, and they seem just fine in spite of my parenting misstep. It's not like I let them watch "Nightmare on Elm Street" or scary Nancy Grace. We usually go with something pretty benign, like the funny video show or "Jeopardy." Judge if you must. However, I believe that I have found the holy grail of television. No one smokes, swears or does drugs. The girls are dressed modestly, and everyone works together. Gratuitous violence isn't ever a part of the show. The dad, Pa, isn't hard on the eyes, and I'm fairly certain they've never even heard of the Jersey Shore (the place, not the trashy people). In fact, these people pretty much only knew one place: Walnut Grove. Did you figure it out? That's right. "Little House on the Prairie." Now I'm not one to live exclusively by any book, philosophy or television show. Bits and pieces from various sources combined together, in addition to my own knowledge and experiments, tend to work pretty well. But. However. This show is really on to something. Or was on to something. Whatever. Once, when the Ingalls family fell on hard times, Charles was working a couple of jobs, which kept him away from the family quite a bit. Know what they did? They pulled their daughter Carrie out of school, so she could get a job working for the town seamstress. She completed her assignments in the evening, and returned to school once the family was financially on track and could pay their bill at Oleson's Mercantile. Before you freak out, understand that I'm not suggesting that anyone remove their minor child from school for any reason. I'm just not sure there are many kids today who would proudly step up and help the family, briefly or not, dumping all of their earnings into the family money jar. They even had their two year old out there picking potatoes! Not only did she share (well, give) her earnings to the family, she thought it was great to earn $1.45 for the entire week. She skipped home, shouting it to everyone she passed. You can't even get a decent loaf of bread for that anymore. That's beside the point, though. We can't go back in time. However, I love that they were panicked that they had to charge a few household items instead of paying with cash. I know several million Americans who need to learn that lesson. Miss Beadle, Walnut Grove's wonderful teacher, was one of the highest paid and most revered people in town. When did that change? Her students, along with their parents, cared for and appreciated her. She, like many teachers today, would do anything for her students, often buying needed supplies and gathering their assignments when they missed school. My children have had some wonderful teachers, at one of the best schools in the area, and I can promise that you won't find them at the top of the moneymaker list in Richmond County. Besides the obvious differences, like sleeping on a mattress made of hay, reading by oil lamps and somehow surviving without an xBox or iPod touch, the children of Walnut Grove respected their parents. Very rarely did a child talk back. Was this because they'd still get a big ol' whoopin' if they sassed their mama? Quite possibly. Pa was willing to do whatever it took to get his family back on financial track. He often worked several jobs at a time, including some where he got dirty. These dirty jobs were frowned upon by most of the townspeople, but he didn't care. It was work, and it paid real money. I'll mention those several million Americans again. So you get my point. These were real people, with real problems, but they found real solutions. There wasn't a magic pill that cured Diabetes. They ate healthy foods. There wasn't a computer to compute the problem for you. They did the math. They didn't sit and wait for a job to come to them. They found work. They didn't have the television on during mealtimes. They ate together. Is it really all that hard? It might be, but we can try. I mean, if Mr. Oleson could tolerate his mean old witch of a wife, even smiling in her presence, anything is possible. *No contracts or joining fees JENNYISWRIGHT your first class is free!! More than just SPINNING! Kangoo Jumps | Zumba | Spinning Body Pump | Real Ryder 3830 Washington Road | Martinez | 706.910.8136 U LT I M AT E R I D E A N D F I T N E S S . C O M 42 METRO SPIRIT 01.19.12 V. 23 | NO. 03 BOOK YOUR � MASTERS WEEK TEE TIMES Don't wait! Tee times fill up quick! For Masters� week pricing and more information, call 706-791-2433 GORDON LAKES GOLF COURSE Open to the Public "Voted the #1 Golf Course in the Army" by PGA.com Remember, all patrons 16 and over must have a photo I.D. to enter Fort Gordon. If you do not have a DoD I.D. Card or current Pass, you must enter through Gate 1 on Gordon Highway.