t a company training meeting a few months ago, I was introduced to a new co-worker. This guy was extremely motivated and on the ball. I was pretty impressed with him, until I looked down and saw that he was wearing white socks with a pair of dark dress slacks. Maybe it’s superficial, but at that moment this guy’s credibility as a sharp shooter and go-getter entirely evaporated. I suddenly saw Steve Erkle standing in front of me. Other people at the meeting noticed as well, and got a laugh out of it. No one took the guy seriously. You don’t want to be this guy. If you want to impress people, you have to pay attention to the details. It doesn’t matter if you’ve put together an awesome outfit; if you don’t have the right socks, you spoil your whole look. 2
To help you not sabotage your image or credibility like the guy at the meeting, follow these simple rules when selecting which kind of sock to wear with your ensembles.
Wear dress socks with dress shoes.
Don’t try to wear athletic socks with dress shoes even if the socks are black. Athletic socks are thicker than dress socks and don’t match the refined style of dress shoes. If you try wearing gym socks with a pair of dress shoes, they’ll bunch out over the shoe and look goofy. Stick to dress socks. The thin material feels nice on your foot and looks sharp. With jeans there’s a little more wiggle room. Preferably, you should have dark socks even with denim, but you can get away with wearing gym socks with jeans.
Sock color should match your pants, not your shoes.
This is a rule that many people are confused about. I’ve heard numerous arguments about whether you should match socks with shoes or socks with pants. You should always match socks with pants because when you sit down and your socks are exposed, you want a solid line of color from your pants to your shoes. Socks that don’t match your pant color create a jarring break in your outfit. So black socks go with black pants and brown socks go with brown pants. Absolutely and under no condition should you ever wear white socks with dark pants unless you want to look like Steve Erkle or 1980′s Michael Jackson.
Novelty socks are for elementary school teachers.
nd K ate McK ay By: B rett a
The goofiest thing is to see people who wear socks with sandals. Society’s ability to take you seriously will be reduced to zero if you do this. Sandals were designed to be worn with bare feet, so please, do not wear socks with sandals. Socks with shorts should be avoided as well. Wearing socks with shorts visually makes your legs look shorter. If you need to wear socks while wearing shorts, invest in some ankle socks that aren’t visible when you wear you sneakers.
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No socks with sandals or shorts.
No man should own a pair of orange novelty socks that say “Boo!” on them and are adorned with little bats. The only excuse you have for wearing these is if you’re an elementary school teacher named Mrs. Heart. Keep you sock collection simple and classic and you’ll never go wrong. 3
JANUARY - FEBRUARY 2014
IN EVERY ISSUE LOCAL HEROES 18 HEROES FROM ON HIGH
An Interview With the Sanford AirMed Crew
ON THE COVER DEL HOFER 26 Accolades to a Torchbearer PAGE 8
DAD, DON’T LET RULES DIMINISH THE RELATIONSHIP 8
TO BEARD OR NOT TO BEARD
Facial Hair Can Be Good, Bad and Ugly
CATCHING FISH AND GOOD TIMES
A Beginner’s Guide to Ice Fishing
ARTICLES RULES ON THE PROPER 2 WEARING OF SOCKS
ARTICLES RAISE A GLASS AT WÜRST BIER HALL 14 New Downtown Eatery Boasts European Food and Convivial Atmosphere
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Dawn Siewert firstname.lastname@example.org
GOT INK? Workplace Tattoos Gaining Awareness, Acceptance
PHOTOGRAPHY Darren Losee email@example.com
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Soo Asheim Jessica Ballou Meghan Feir Paul Hankel Jessica Jasperson Alicia Underlee Nelson
PUBLISHED BY Urban Toad Media LLP www.urbantoadmedia.com /urbantoadmedia
PAGE 18 24
CHIVALRY IN THE 21ST CENTURY
Bringing it Back to Life
“Feir” not my lady! VOLUME 1 • ISSUE 4
READ AN ISSUE ONLINE: issuu.com/thegoodlifemensmag ADVERTISING SUBMISSIONS Urban Toad Media LLP 118 Broadway North, Suite 412 Fargo, ND 58102 701-388-4506 The Good Life Men’s Magazine is distributed six times a year by Urban Toad Media LLP. Material may not be reproduced without permission. The Good Life Men’s Magazine accepts no liability for reader dissatisfaction arising from content in this publication. The opinions expressed, or advice given, are the views of individual writers or advertisers and do not necessarily represent the views or policies of The Good Life Men’s Magazine.
Dad, Don’t Let Rules Diminish the Relationship
raining and disciplining kids is tough. It’s even harder when you’re in a complex family situation, and more and more dads are finding themselves in that place. Our staff recently heard from several dads whose stories illustrate this (and whose names I have changed here). James is a partial-custody father. His 12-year-old daughter is acting out— taking things from a relative’s house, and generally being irresponsible at school and in other ways. James is trying to address these issues, but finds it hard to make any progress with his daughter since his time with her is limited and her mom takes a softer approach to discipline that he doesn’t agree with. Kevin works long hours, which really limits his opportunities to spend time with his 6-year-old stepson. The boy sees his biological father mostly on birthdays and holidays, but Kevin says the other father is very lax in his rules and expectations. So, while the other dad gets to be the “fun dad” when he’s around, Kevin is afraid the boy sees him as the “mean dad” since he’s the one who’s handling many of the everyday behavior issues. And really, most all dads deal with similar questions from time to time: How do I balance the hard side and the soft side of being a father? When does my child need more love as opposed to discipline? There are no easy answers, but I’m reminded of the classic wisdom for parents: “Rules without relationship leads to rebellion.” That might even be more relevant for dads and kids in these complex situations, but it’s a great reminder for me and surely
By: CAREY CASEY | WWW.FATHERS.COM many other dads, no matter what the family situation. Kids do need the rules. They benefit from being held accountable to a standard of behavior and learning from their poor choices and disobedience. They need to learn proper respect for authority, and that starts at home. But I think it’s easy for dads to forget the relationship side. When a child is misbehaving, we need to start asking ourselves, Does she know she’s loved? And, have I demonstrated that love and spoken it into her life regularly? Those should be among our top goals with each of our kids. Dads, we really need to go the extra mile when it comes to building relationships with each of our children. With that foundation, dads in difficult situations can influence their child more than if they’re just “laying down the law.” After all, the daughter will go to her mom’s house and “the law” will change. So building a strong relationship is another powerful way to influence her character. There are no quick fixes—and it could take time—but a good place to start is to simply tune into your child’s interests. Find a common hobby or activity you enjoy. Come up with ways to just have fun together. Those positive interactions will show your child that you genuinely care for her, and you’re not just trying to win a battle or teach a lesson. She’ll grow to trust you more and more, and her behavior will likely change because she’ll have a greater desire to please you. Talking about household rules and expectations won’t involve a major confrontation. It will be much easier to ask, “Would you do something for me?” She may even start coming to you with big questions and issues, even
though she knows others in her life are more likely to give her what she wants. You’re consistent and you keep your promises. Even more, you’re an involved, creative, positive force in her life. You invest in the relationship. She trusts that you really do have her best interest in mind, and she looks forward to that time with you. Hang in there, dads. You’re playing a huge and vital role in your children’s lives. What have you seen in your kids? Are they better behaved after you’ve done something fun together?
Action Points for Dads on the Fathering Journey
• Plan an activity that helps your child discover — or rediscover — the simple joy of childhood. Even in the daily battles of life, don’t let him forget that being a kid should be fun. • Are you a step dad? Make sure to work closely with the children’s mother on discipline issues, so you don’t have to be the “bad guy” enforcer. • As much as you can, work together with other parents in your child’s life, so you’re sending consistent messages about expectations and consequences. • Does your job severely limit your time with your children? Take a hard look at changes you might make so you can make more consistent investments in their lives. • Make it your goal to laugh — really laugh hard — with your child or teenager at least a couple times each week.
To Beard, or not to beard facial hair can be good, bad and ugly By: meghan feir | Photos: Urban toad Media
acial hair. I like it – on men, I mean. It’s extraordinary how random patches of hair on a man’s face can evoke such entirely different messages. For example, a handlebar mustache makes a man look like he’s no longer a cowboy in training, and mutton chops are best saved for the dinner plate. As a native Minnesotan who’s usually freezing October through April (sometimes through July) and who couldn’t grow a beard if she tried, I can imagine how men could want to have some sort of facial covering during the colder months in the Midwest. After all, animals are allowed to grow their winter coats, so why shouldn’t men? (An argument and a solution to that would be to just buy a scarf.) Facial hair can be hot; it can look cunning; it can make a man seem mysterious and virile; it can make a 15-year-old boy look like a 15-year-old who’s trying really hard not to look 12, however scraggly and saddening it may appear. Facial hair is a powerful thing, and as everyone knows, “With great power comes great responsibility.” (Thanks, Uncle Ben.)
To beard, or not to beard: that is the question: Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind of women to suffer The slings and arrows of itchy, outrageous unkemptness, Or to take arms with a slew of razors, And by opposing end them? To die: to shave; No more; and by a shave to say we end The heart-ache and the thousand natural locks That flesh is to hair, ‘tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish’d. — William Shavesbeard, from his play “Hairlet” (I ran this by an English professor with a beard, and it was approved.)
Unfortunately, many men think they’re being ironically hot by sporting unkempt, long, mountain-man beards. The same thing happened with mullets a couple years ago, but I think that recycled trend of irony has seen its end. Yeah, yeah, I know, I’ve heard; business in the front, party in the back. So, would the phrase for advocating horrifying beards be “Look Amish, party hard-ish”? Many factors go into how facial hair comes off (I don’t mean with a razor). How it is perceived depends on the guy; it depends on the length; it depends on how it fills in; it depends on their facial structure; it depends on their attitude toward it; it depends on how much neck hair is involved; it depends on how many crumbs get stuck in it after every meal; it depends on if it hosts a family of small birds; it depends on a lot of things.
It’s undeniable that whether we care about our appearance or not, we are sending messages to other people, so unless you’re trying to look like a man with nothing to lose because you’ve lost it all already, figure out which looks best suit you. Enjoy your hair, but treat it right. Wash it. Trim it. Keep it in line.
Catching Fish and Good Times By: Jessica Jasperson PHOTOS SUBMITTED BY: Bret AMundson
s the temperatures drop and the days get shorter, people are limited to the outdoor activities available in the winter. Ice fishing scratches that itch for fresh air and time spent with friends and family. Bret “T-Bone” Amundson fished in the summer while growing up, but very little in the winter. About five years ago Amundson picked up the winter pass time of ice fishing and shares his tips for the beginner ice fisher. The Good Life: What did you learn your first time on the ice? Bret Amundson: It’s not much fun without electronics. GL: When is the best time of the year to ice fish? BA: Early ice, or early in the season when there is enough safe ice to fish on. That’s when fish are starting to fatten up for the long winter ahead, so fishing can go really well. Late season can be a good time as well. Of course you’ll find exceptions to this throughout the season. GL: How do you find a prime location for ice fishing?
A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO ICE FISHING
BA: Scouting! A lot of times you can find fish in the same places as late season or early season open water fishing. Otherwise prepare to drill lots of holes and don’t be afraid to look for active fish on other spots on the lake.
pop-ups that are built into sleds that fold down for easy transportation. Mine even has a snowmobile hitch attachment. There are wheel houses that you can pull behind a vehicle and they look like enclosed trailers. Some resorts also have “sleeper”
“An auger, a bucket and a pole is all you really need. Dress warm and you can have a great day fishing on the ice.” — Bret “T-Bone” Amundson GL: Do you always need a shelter when ice fishing? BA: No, I used to think this too. An auger, a bucket and a pole is all you really need. Dress warm and you can have a great day fishing on the ice. Some days, it can be sunny and 30 degrees out and you’ll hate spending that inside a shelter. Plus you can be more mobile without one. GL: If a shelter is used, what kinds of shelters are available? BA: There are a number of shelters you can use from lightweight portable shelters that are similar to pop up ground blinds. You can get
houses that include bunks, satellite TV, portable toilets and more luxuries. You’ll even find some private houses that are nicer than some people’s homes. GL: Do you build your own shelter or purchase it? BA: You can buy kits to build your own, but it still might cost in the thousands. Most people purchase their own and they might own a portable and a wheel house for later in the season. Every one will generally be heated. The portables will include a small propane heater, while the bigger houses could have wall heaters built in.
Bret Wi Walleye th a Fr Secret om a Lak Northe e in rn MN 11
Bret’s Lab “Mika”, Taste-Testing a Perch
GL: Do you need a lot of equipment for ice fishing? BA: Not at all. All you need is something to drill a hole in the ice, a fishing pole and bait. But I won’t fish without some sort of electronic flasher. They help you locate fish under the ice so you don’t waste your time fishing water that doesn’t have any fish. GL: What kinds of equipment do you need to get started? How much does equipment cost?
GL: How do you drill the perfect fishing hole, safely and efficiently? BA: Line up your auger straight and let ‘er buck! It’s much easier than it looks. The key is to keep your feet dry when you pull the auger back out of the water as water will come with it. Also, make sure you are on safe ice before you start drilling. GL: How deep should the line be in the water once the bait is attached?
BA: A rod and reel combo can be as low as $20 at most sporting good stores. A hand auger can be relatively inexpensive compared to a gas/propane powered auger and that’s about it. Warm clothes should be worn of course and if you decide to purchase a flasher unit (Vexilar, MarCum or Humminbird), they can run from $200 - $1,200 depending on the model. They’re not necessary, but as I mentioned earlier, I won’t fish without one. GL: What kinds of bait should be used? BA: Depends on the body of water. If you can, you should research the forage base of the lake you plan on fishing, and then purchase the appropriate bait. A quick stop into a local bait shop should be able to answer that question for you. 12
A Delicious Meal of Fresh Perch
BA: That will also depend on the lake and species you’re fishing. Primarily you’ll be fishing near the bottom of the lake. Electronics will help you determine how deep the fish are, and then you can put your bait right with them or just above them. GL: How long can a party of ice fishermen stay on the ice? BA: Until the beer runs out! Oh, you meant a different kind of party. Well as long as you’re staying warm and there aren’t any restrictions against night fishing, you can stay as long as you want. GL: What are safety tips for the beginner ice fisherman? BA: Talk to the bait shops first. They can help with some ice conditions, bait selections and if you spend a couple bucks, they might even give you some hot bite information. Bret “T-Bone” Amundson spent 13 years on the radio in Fargo-Moorhead and is now the publisher of Minnesota Sporting Journal magazine, host of Minnesota Sporting Journal Radio (heard on AM 970 WDAY Saturdays at noon) and will spend his winter guiding ice fishing on Lac qui Parle at Watson Hunting Camp. Learn more at www.minnesota