Overly verbose descriptions of fairly ordinary things making Manchester seem like the setting of a particularly cruel Dickens novel
pie-gested Read
An uncomfortable image of childbirth causing involuntary thoughts of suffering: “Of course my birth almost kills my mother, for my head is too big.”
Moments of near-humility successfully jettisoned Genuinely intended selfdeprecating humour
A refusal to see the bright side in things, comically offset by references to enjoying Skippy the Bush Kangaroo
OLYMPICS
CHARITY
“The spirit of Germany now pervades throughout media-brand Britain.” – On the persecution of millions that was last year’s Olympic Games
“The most self-righteous platform ever in the history of popular music.” – On popular charity event Band Aid
FAST FOOD
AWARDS
“That is nothing compared to what happens in McDonald’s and Kentucky Fried Shit every day.” – On Anders Brievik and bad names for chicken shops
“I would never accept a Brit, it would be like Laurence Olivier being happy getting a TV Times award.” – On self-doubt
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