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_ B Y C H R I S FA R A O N E

’d __ and desire. You told me you ______________________________ ___ ___ of ion ect ers int ic ant FARE We met at the rom MAJO R NORT H SHOR E THOR OUGH kneeldn’t see them through your cou I e tim the at ugh tho e, wer you and be sporting crotchless Spanx, owback, _________________________ thr a _____________________-ADD g rin wea s wa ETE I ATHL et. PRO jack ICTED ng FORM ER DRUG length leather Wu-Ta threesome. -pocket had me itching for a and the eight-ball in my five . ______________________________ ht before we ran into ______ nig the VIE KARATE HERO of B-MO t par t bes the s The chitchat wa adian men named retly romanced powerful Can sec and d, fun ge hed a ran You told me how your father too hard for me, and that I Soulja Boy and Dougie were the t tha you told I __. ___ ___ _____________________DIAN ous conditions. FAMO US AME RICA N-IN bathroom despite the hazard my in _ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ sometimes did the ____________ LAR ’90s PART Y DANC E POPU

freaked out that you thought I know you’re of age, but I was ng. you so ck chi a for es dud You’ve dated quite a few ______________ ). ut ________________________RT abo ng thi e sam the t FRAN CHIS E ugh tho I YOGU rse — NEW-SCH OOL FROZ EN TCBY was a sex position (of cou ________________________. ber is 1-800- _______________ num ne pho ual act r O MOV IE TITLE you PORN how On that note, it’s crazy _________________________. once at _______________ FANE UIL HALL BAR I think I saw that in the stall ______________ scorpion ed on the _______________L___ PAGN E CHAM LEVE MID____________________ ___ would have ripped his MAL E SEX ORGA N boyfriend was awkward — I

all, but it’s not like I splurg Kowloon is a nice restaurant and bowl. And running into your


n’t come on. __________________________ did out if __________________SONG OF K YOU CAN THIN WOR ST 311

the ______________________________ even got to see _______________ GENE RIC WHIT E GUY NAM E we — r eve Day ’s ine ent Val It was the best edian since Lenny lbur Theatre. He’s the best com Wi the at w sho _’s ___ ___ ___ ______________________________ UNIO N JOB is still pretty damn good. Clarke, though Lenny Clarke _________________ only that chick in ____________ EXOR CISM MOV IE In t eHarmony was for people one another — we both though for ant me ’re We t. tha like could twist her neck o I met through _____________________ single wh ___ ___ ___ ___ the you e wer . Or RELI GIOU S AFFI LIATI ON (ADJ.) who need ecstasy to have fun you are — you’re the one! ardSale on Twitter? Whoever reY eve @R you are Or ok? ebo Fac — before our date I thought all honesty I had a great time

ced the owner to freeze me a


made of ice cubes, and I convin re’s this hotel in Canada that’s

room out of

_____, and he used to ______________________________ ___ ___ is e nam His _. ___ ___ FORM ER POTU S ___________________________ the Kowloon BOTTOM-S HELF LIQU EUR _______________. Meet me in ___ _____________________ ___ ___ ___ w sho s t 2000 tha Y on EARL ck screw that chi CANC ELLE D TV DRAM A FROM THE l mixed for our ride to Logan. 14th. I’ll have a scorpion bow the of ng rni mo the on lot g parkin

Mad In Love Libs presents: The Trashy Date