Self-Esteem: Ages 8-10 by Teacher Superstore

Ages 8–10

RIC-0745 6.3/412

Self-esteem Foreword Addressing self-esteem and social resilience in students is fundamental to creating a safe, happy learning environment. Self-esteem – 8–10 is a resource for investigating personal and social issues faced by primary school-aged students. The activity topics in this book have been carefully selected to address issues speciﬁc to middle

primary-aged students with a view to building self-worth and establishing resilience in challenging situations. All activities are suitable for whole-class instruction or for use with individuals or small groups with particular needs. Other titles in this series are: Self-esteem – 5–7 Self-esteem – 11+

Contents Teacher information .............................................................................................................................................. iv – v Curriculum links ...........................................................................................................................................................v

ME ......................................................2–21

FRIENDS ............................................62–81

What am I good at? .................................................. 2–3 Things I am responsible for ....................................... 4–5 Have a go! ................................................................ 6–7 Should I or shouldn’t I? ............................................. 8–9 Trying hard and improving .................................... 10–11 I think ... ............................................................... 12–13 Who is watching you? ........................................... 14–15 Setting goals ......................................................... 16–17 Compliments ......................................................... 18–19 Being my best ....................................................... 20–21

Different types of friends ...................................... 62–63 Rules for best friends ............................................ 64–65 Fitting in................................................................ 66–67 How to say ‘no’ ..................................................... 68–69 Following the right leader ..................................... 70–71 Why won’t you play with me? .............................. 72–73 Using good manners ............................................. 74–75 Swearing ............................................................... 76–77 Learning new things ............................................. 78–79 I forgive you .......................................................... 80–81

MY IMAGE ........................................22–41 Why do I look the way I do? ................................. 22–23 Fuel for our body................................................... 24–25 Smoking ................................................................ 26–27 The ‘perfect’ person............................................... 28–29 Tricky pictures ....................................................... 30–31 What I think of me ................................................ 32–33 What message do I send to others? ...................... 34–35 What people like about me ................................... 36–37 You’re the greatest! .............................................. 38–39 Why misbehaving doesn’t work ............................ 40–41

Being different ...................................................... 82–83 Make up your own mind ....................................... 84–85 Being interested in others ..................................... 86–87 What and when to share....................................... 88–89 Telling tales ........................................................... 90–91 Joining a group ..................................................... 92–93 Showing-off .......................................................... 94–95 Cooperating in a group ......................................... 96–97 Get involved! ........................................................ 98–99 Who do you look up to?.................................... 100–101

FEELINGS ..........................................42–61

GETTING ALONG WITH OTHERS ....102–121

Feelings ................................................................. 42–43 Keeping feelings under control ............................. 44–45 Hurt feelings ......................................................... 46–47 How do you feel about yourself? .......................... 48–49 Leave me alone! ................................................... 50–51 I can’t play today .................................................. 52–53 No-one likes me .................................................... 54–55 Letters for lonely days ........................................... 56–57 I need help!........................................................... 58–59 Alone at last! ........................................................ 60–61

Body language .................................................. 102–103 Offering a helping hand .................................... 104–105 Encouraging my friends .................................... 106–107 I don’t want to play today, okay? ...................... 108–109 Fighting ............................................................. 110–111 We can work it out ........................................... 112–113 Giving everyone a fair go .................................. 114–115 Why do people tease?....................................... 116–117 Don’t talk behind my back ................................ 118–119 When it’s okay to ‘dob’ ..................................... 120–121

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iii

Teacher information All students will encounter challenges, personally and socially, at school. Self-esteem 8–10 looks at a comprehensive range of these issues, to equip students with positive beliefs about themselves and a resilient attitude. By using the activities in this book, students will be encouraged to value and implement practices that promote personal growth and wellbeing. Students who are self-motivated and conﬁdent in their approach to life will extend this philosophy to learning, enabling them to work successfully in individual and collaborative situations, while recognising that everyone has the right to feel valued and be safe. Students will be encouraged to understand their rights as a student and community member and, in turn, their obligations and the requirement to behave responsibly. Issues addressed within this series include: self-management skills, interpersonal skills, attitudes and values, decision making , goal setting, interpersonal communication, cooperation, collaboration, relationship building, group dynamics, child protection, bullying and harassment, and concepts for developing a healthy, happy lifestyle.

Teachers notes Each activity is accompanied by detailed teachers notes to assist teachers in planning, implementing and monitoring the concepts addressed.

Concept Explains the concept being addressed.

Indicators Indicators for students’ progress are included to provide teachers with clear concepts for teaching and monitoring. These indicators can also be incorporated into student assessment pieces.

Pre-lesson focus discussion

Questions, discussion topics and, in some cases, introductory activities have been provided to focus students on the topic prior to completing the more formal written tasks on the student activity sheet.

Using the student activity sheet Detailed step-by-step instructions are included to assist teachers in prompting student understanding and guiding discussion appropriately.

Follow-up suggestions Additional activities will help students internalise new skills or understandings by revising them or applying them to real-life and lifelike situations.

Sensitivity issues Many of the topics can not be addressed in a way which meets the needs of all students equally. The information in this section is to remind teachers of the varying needs of the individuals in their care and to be mindful of sensitive situations which may exist.

Activity links A list of related activities accompanies each task and may be used as follow-up learning activities.

Answers Answers have been provided where necessary. However, in most activities, answers are based on student experiences and self-assessment and should not be assessed formally. Informal monitoring by teachers is a more appropriate means of gathering information about students so as to guide and assist them in their personal and social growth.

Self-esteem

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Teacher information Student activity sheet Each student activity sheet is written at a level suitable for 8–10-year-olds, incorporating written tasks and age-appropriate activities.

Cartoon Each activity is supported by a focusing cartoon designed to capture the students’ imagination and provoke discussion about the topic or issue to be investigated.

Discussion text A short discussion text brieﬂy outlines the concept being investigated and provides direction for the tasks within the activity sheet.

Opportunities for clariﬁcation In most activities, students will be prompted to clarify new concepts being taught through relating them to their own life and experiences.

Opportunities for reﬂection Students are encouraged to reﬂect upon their own life and existing beliefs within the context of new concepts. In many cases, they will be asked to assess the effectiveness or appropriateness of their own behaviour.

© R. I . C.Publ i cat i ons Opportunities for application •f orr evi ew pur posesonl y• Students are encouraged to internalise new information and apply it to their existing belief system, often challenging them to address existing behaviour in order to develop themselves personally and socially.

ASSESSMENT Many of the activities within the series can be used to indicate social skills development in student portfolios. Note: Activities where students have disclosed sensitive information are not appropriate for assessment.

Curriculum links (8–10) Health and physical education NSW

V1, V2, V3, V4, COS2.1, DMS2.2, INS2.3, PSS2.5, GDS2.9, IRS2.11, ALS2.6, PHS2.12, SLS2.13

Vic.

HPIP0301, HPSR0301, HPSR0302, HPMP0303

CHL3, SMS3, IS3

2.1, 2.3, 2.5, 2.6, 2.7, 2.8

Qld

PHIC3.1, 3.2, 3.3, EPD3.1, 3.2, 3.4,

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Self-esteem

What am I good at?

Teachers notes

Recognising skills and talents Indicators

Pre-lesson focus discussion

• Recognises own skills and talents. • Speciﬁes a preference for becoming either specialised at one thing or good at many things.

Encourage the students to suggest high proﬁle people who are specialists in a particular area; for example, famous sports people or musical artists. Discuss what these people must have done to become so good at what they do. Brainstorm to list things someone could be especially good at. Encourage the students to think laterally and suggest things covering a range of academic, sporting and creative ﬁelds. Also include personal qualities such as compassion and generosity, using Mother Teresa or fundraising identities as examples.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity sheet. Discuss what Billy is doing. Ask the students whether he is good at one thing or many things. 2. Read the text introducing the concept of being good at one thing or many things. Direct the students to the list of skills and talents in Question 1 (a). Invite them to select those in the list they are good at and write them in the cape. 3. Allow the students to add other skills and talents to the cape that are not in the list to complete 1 (b). 4. Have the students think about what in their list they are best at. It can be one thing or several things if they wish. The students can then circle their choices to complete 1 (c). 5. Discuss the term ‘specialist’, referring to the pre-lesson focus discussion. Have the students attempt to describe what a specialist is in their own words. Ask the students whether they think they could be a specialist at the thing or one of the things they circled. The students can indicate their response to complete 1 (d). 6. Read the text describing the difference between a specialist and an ‘all-rounder’. Ask the students whether they would rather be an all-rounder or a specialist, allowing them to suggest reasons for their preference. They can then indicate their response to complete Question 2.

Follow up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Write a class book, including a contribution from each student, about what they might be famous for in 20 years’ time. Encourage the students to share their skills or talents. For example, allow the students to share successes such as trophies they have won or display a talent to the class, such as a magic trick or playing a musical instrument.

Answers

Activity links Trying hard and improving ............................pp 10–11 Setting goals .................................................pp 16–17 Being my best ...............................................pp 20–21

In some cultures it is socially frowned upon to promote personal skills and talents in case others perceive them as boastful. Introduce the idea to students that there are ways to talk about their own skills and talents that are not boastful. Encourage them to participate in a non-boastful way by creating a safe, genuine environment in which to share.

Self-esteem

Teacher check

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What am I good at? Check this out! We are all good at something. Some people are good at lots of things!

1. (a) Look at the list of skills and talents below. Select those you are good at and write them in the ‘super’ cape on Billy. drawing

reading

swimming

storytelling

maths

cartooning

running

caring

soccer

listening

singing

netball

science

skipping

basketball

cooking

dancing

writing

gardening

football

(b) Add other things you are good at that are not in the list.

© R. I . C.Publ i cat i ons •f orr evi ew pur posesonl y• (c) Put a circle around the thing or things you are best at. (d) Do you think you could become a ‘specialist’ at the thing or one of the things you circled? Yes

Some people become specialists at one thing while others become good at lots of things. People who are good at lots of things are sometimes called ‘all-rounders’.

2. Would you prefer to be a specialist or an all-rounder? Why?

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Things I am responsible for

Teachers notes

Responsibility Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Appreciates that being responsible is personally rewarding. • Recognises the importance of doing properly those jobs he/she is responsible for. • Identiﬁes things he/she is responsible for.

Have the students describe the term ‘responsibility’ in their own words. Debate the positive and negative sides of being responsible. Encourage the students to share what they are responsible for at home.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss what Billy is doing and allow the students to share any responsibilities they have in relation to pets in their home. 2. Read the text about the way being responsible can make the students feel. Discuss what would happen if they were not responsible about the jobs they are expected to do. 3. Direct the students to Question 1. Brieﬂy discuss why each of the jobs listed is important. Students write their responses thinking about what would happen if each job was not performed properly. 4. Students explain and illustrate a job of their own choice to complete Question 2. 5. Review the pre-lesson discussion about things the students may be responsible for at home. Have them indicate whether they have any jobs they are responsible for to complete Question 3 (a). 6. Invite the students to share whether or not they enjoy being responsible by explaining how getting a job done makes them feel. Allow the students time to describe how being responsible makes them feel to complete 3 (b).

Follow-up suggestions

Create a classroom responsibilities roster where the students are given tasks for which they are responsible. Rotate the tasks set for each student to allow him/her to experience as many different responsibilities as possible. Keep a class pet or class garden to demonstrate the importance of maintaining constant responsibility for something which is dependent upon us, regardless of how we might be feeling.

Answers

Activity links Who is watching you? ...................................pp 14–15 Fitting in ........................................................pp 66–67 Why misbehaving doesn’t work ....................pp 40–41

Ensure that students who do not have a reputation for being responsible are given ample opportunities to learn this skill and appreciate the respect gained from others– and the increase in self-respect–by being responsible. Avoid constantly choosing the same students for important tasks as this will send a subtle message to those who are rarely chosen that they can not be trusted and are not respected equally to their peers.

Self-esteem

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Things I am responsible for To do special jobs, you need to be a responsible person. Being responsible for something can make us feel worthwhile. Knowing that other people are counting on us helps to remind us that we are important and can make a difference to the lives of others.

1. Read the list of jobs below and explain why each is important. (a) clearing the table after dinner

(b) hand watering the pot plants

(d) hanging out the washing

3. (a) Do you have jobs you are responsible for?

Yes

(b) How does being responsible make you feel?

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Self-esteem

Have a go!

Teachers notes

Learning from mistakes Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands that everyone makes mistakes. • Understands that making mistakes can help him/her learn what not to do. • Appreciates the beneﬁts of ‘having a go’ rather than being fearful of making mistakes when trying something new.

Discuss some of the new things students have to learn when growing up. Use the example of learning to walk. Encourage the students to share stories about their younger brothers and sisters learning to walk and talk and some of the funny mistakes they made.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page showing Billy kicking a goal and being encouraged by his peers. Ask the students whether they think it is the ﬁrst time Billy has ever attempted to kick a goal and what might have happened prior to this scene. 2. Read the text about making mistakes. Share an example of a mistake you have made or purposefully make a mistake when writing something on the board for the students to notice, allowing them to correct you. Make a point of sharing what you learnt from making your mistake. 3. Read Question 1 (a) and have the students share their ideas about how making a mistake can make them feel. Allow the students to write their responses to complete the question. 4. Have the students think about what they could do to try to not make mistakes. Allow them to make suggestions such as being careful, watching how others do it ﬁrst and practising. Have the students write some of these suggestions to complete Question 1 (b). 5. Explain that the students can learn from their mistakes and turn something which might feel like a failure into a success in the future. Direct the students to Question 2 and challenge them to think of what they could learn from making each of the mistakes. Allow them time to write their ideas to answer Question 2. Give the students the opportunity to share what they think could be learnt from each situation. 6. Read the text about being frightened of making mistakes. Explain that many people feel this way and are worried about getting things wrong. Introduce the idea of ‘having a go’ rather than playing it safe. Have the students write two reasons why it is important to ‘have a go’ at new things to answer Question 3.

Follow-up suggestions Provide the students with experiences which are new to them to promote ‘having a go’; for example, a maze they have not seen before or novelty races such as egg and spoon relays. Promote the idea of practising new things as a way to minimise mistakes. Encourage the students to complete homework tasks with this purpose, such as practising basic skills.

Answers

Activity links Should I or shouldn’t I? .................................pp 8–9 Learning new things......................................pp 78–79 Get involved! ................................................pp 98–99 Encouraging my friends.................................pp 106–107

Students who are behind in basic skills development find it more difficult to ‘have a go’ at tasks where they feel they are not performing to a satisfactory level. Provide opportunities for these students to ‘have a go’ and learn from their mistakes in a private or controlled small-group setting to improve their confidence and ability to take risks with learning.

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Have a go! You did it! Yeah! Well done!

Growing up can be hard work. There are so many new things to learn and remember. It can be hard to get everything right all the time. Sooner or later, everyone makes mistakes.

1. (a) How do you feel when you make a mistake?

(b) What do you do to try to not make mistakes?

© R. I . C.Publ i cat i ons Making a mistake is not always bad. We learn things by making mistakes. •f orr evi ew pur posesonl y• 2. What would you learn from making these mistakes? (a) spelling a word incorrectly

(b) kicking a ball through a window

If you are frightened of making mistakes, you will be slower to learn new things and will miss out on some great experiences. It is important to always ‘have a go’.

3. Write two reasons why it is a good idea to ‘have a go’. (a)

(b)

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Self-esteem

Should I or shouldn’t I?

Teachers notes

Sensible risk-taking Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Identiﬁes situations in which he/she needs to make sensible decisions. • Understands that some risks are not safe. • Demonstrates good judgment when making decisions.

Ask the students whether they have ever heard someone say that something was ‘too risky’. Encourage the students to share things that are risky and what the consequences could be of taking these risks. Suggest that some risks are worth taking and that it is important to ‘have a go’ in some situations. Give the example of risking making a mistake when learning to read. Consider what would happen if someone never took a risk in this situation. Encourage the students to suggest other risks which are worth taking.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss whether or not it is a risk worth taking. Consider what the beneﬁts would be compared with the risks associated with Billy taking the jump. Have the students conclude what would be a sensible decision in this case. 2. Read the text about considering safety when taking risks. 3. Direct the students to the two situations in Question 1. Discuss what the risks are in each. Have the students write the risks involved and then make a decision as to whether or not they would have a go, writing the reasons for their decisions. 4. Allow the students opportunity to discuss their decisions and compare them to those made by others.

Follow-up suggestions

Have the students write a ‘personal challenge’ and put it into a box where its writer will remain anonymous. Nominate students to take a personal challenge from the box, read it to the class and make a sensible decision as to whether or not they are willing to have a go. This activity is also a good opportunity to introduce the notion of peer group pressure as the students could encourage one another to take up challenges for their own entertainment, which may or may not be in the challenger’s best interest.

Answers

Activity links Have a go! ....................................................pp 6–7 I think... ........................................................pp 12–13 Fitting in ........................................................pp 66–67 Following the right leader .............................pp 70–71 I don’t want to play today, okay? ..................pp 108–109

Students should be encouraged to formulate their own opinions free from the influence of their peers in a nonthreatening environment. Ensure the students understand that their opinions can be reassessed at any time on receiving new information which conflicts with the opinion they held and that opinions are personal. It should also be made clear to students that although their opinions may influence others when they are sought, they should not be forced upon others, as doing so is disrespectful.

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Should I or shouldn’t I?

You can make it! Come on!

I would have a go, but it’s too far! I’m not crazy!

It is important to have a go at new things BUT always check the risks. Only do things that are SAFE and can’t hurt you or others.

1. Read the situations below. Write the risks involved in each and decide whether or not you would have a go. (a)

Competing in a talent quest Risks:

(b)

Jumping from a high branch in a tree Risks:

Would you have a go?

Yes

Why/Why not?

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Self-esteem

Trying hard and improving

Teachers notes

Effort and improvement Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands that to achieve anything worthwhile requires effort. • Understands the importance of practising in order to improve. • Demonstrates a willingness to practise and try hard in order to improve.

Provide a range of percussion instruments for the students to use. Demonstrate how to use one of the instruments, role-playing someone who is trying hard and someone who is not. Discuss what you were doing differently in each scenario and which playing was better as a result. Put on a simple piece of music with a regular beat and, while demonstrating a great deal of effort, attempt to keep the beat on your instrument with limited success. Ask the students how it sounded. Remind the students that you were trying really hard. Ask what else you could do to improve your playing. Direct the students toward the idea of practising in order to improve. Allow the students to select an instrument and become familiar with how it works. Put on the same piece of music and, with the whole class, attempt to keep the beat using the instruments. Play the music several times until the students can perceive an improvement in their playing.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss what Bella is doing and how she has improved. 2. Read the text that explains the formula for success. Ask the students what they practise and allow them to share what they are trying hard at and improving in. Find out whether the students feel like the practice is helping them to improve what they are doing. Have them write what they are practising to complete Question 1 (a) and then state whether they feel they are improving to complete 1 (b). 3. Direct the students to the mazes in Question 2. Explain they will be doing the same maze three times and testing to see whether practising the task will help them become quicker at it. 4. Provide the students with stopwatches and allow them to work in pairs to take an accurate reading for each other. 5. When the students have ﬁnished, have them analyse their data to determine whether the times changed and what this indicated in terms of improvement, to complete Question 2 (b) – (d).

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Use achievement charts indicating student improvement in class-based tasks as an incentive to continue practising and improving basic skills. Teach the students a new game they are unfamiliar with, such as ‘knucklebones’ or marbles, that requires skill development, to demonstrate to the students how practice and effort foster improvement and greater enjoyment of the game.

Answers

Activity links Have a go! ....................................................pp 6–7 Setting goals .................................................pp 16–17 Learning new things......................................pp 78–79

It is important to encourage students to practise in a way that fosters their ownership of the task. Students who practise because they are being made to do so rarely internalise the beneﬁts of the task and, as a result, will be reluctant to initiate further independent practice.

Self-esteem

Teacher check

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Trying hard and improving I tried really hard. That’s even faster than last time. You are really improving!

There is no doubt about it! The harder you try and the more you practise, the better you get!

EFFORT + PRACTICE = SUCCESS! 1. (a) What do you practise doing?

(b) Do you feel like you are improving?

The more you do something, the easier it gets.

2. (a) Use a stopwatch to time how long it takes you to ﬁnd your way through the maze. Do this three times. Remember to try as hard as you can each time. Start

Start

Finish

Attempt 2 Time:

Start

Finish

Attempt 3 Time:

Finish

(b) Did your times change?

Yes

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Self-esteem

I think …

Teachers notes

Having opinions Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Appreciates that people think differently and have different experiences on which their opinions are formed. • Respects the opinions of others. • Suggests how people who hold different opinions could compromise to solve a problem.

Draw a large outline of a butterfly for the students to see. Ask them to imagine the butterfly coloured in what they think are the best ‘butterfly’ colours. Have them share their ideas and listen to the suggestions of others. Tell the students that, in your opinion, the butterfly should be black. Find out whether the students agree with you and why. Introduce the idea of respecting the opinions of others. Explain that there is no right or wrong way to colour the butterfly, only our own opinion of how it should be done. Discuss why it is important to listen to the opinions of others and respond respectfully to them.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Identify the opinions held by Billy and Bella. Discuss if either is right or wrong. Revise pre-lesson discussions about respecting the opinions of others and have the students deduce how Billy and Bella might be able to solve their problem. 2. Read the text describing how we come to hold different opinions. 3. Direct the students to the questionnaire in Question 1. Read each question and allow the students to write their opinions. Discourage the students from discussing points of view with their peers so that their opinions can not be swayed by those of others. 4. Provide an opportunity for the students to share their answers to the questionnaire and compare their opinions to those held by others. Discuss how the students might have come to hold such differing opinions. 5. Introduce the idea of having a difference of opinion with someone and allow the students to reﬂect upon differences of opinions they have had. Use this information to answer Question 2. 6. Refer back to the cartoon of Billy and Bella, looking again at their difference of opinion. Have the students suggest a compromise that could help solve the problem. Allow the students to colour the boat at the bottom of the page to reﬂect their suggestion.

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Mediate discussions between class members on a compromise the class could reach for colouring the butterﬂy from the pre-lesson discussions. Write a brief description of how the problem of differing opinions was solved to complete the colouring task and display it with the completed butterﬂy. Have the students write their opinions on how it should have been coloured on the area surrounding the picture.

Answers

Activity links How do you feel about yourself? ..................pp 48–49 Following the right leader .............................pp 70–71 Being different ..............................................pp 82–83 Make up your own mind ...............................pp 84–85 We can work it out ........................................pp 112–113

Students should be encouraged to formulate their own opinions, free from the influence of their peers and in a non-threatening environment. Ensure the students understand their opinions can be reassessed at any time on receiving new information which conflicts with that they used to form their current opinion. Opinions are personal and though others may be influenced, opinions should not be forced upon them, as doing so is disrespectful.

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I think … I think we should paint it blue.

What colour should we paint the boat?

I think we should paint it yellow. Just because we can all think doesn’t mean we all think the same way. In fact, the way we think, the experiences we have and what we believe are part of who we are and what makes us unique. Often, there is no right or wrong answer to questions; there are only people’s opinions.

1. Write your opinion to answer each of these questions. (a) What is the best (b) What is the best (c) Who is the best colour? song? sports person?

(d) When should the (e) What game is the © R . I . C . P u b l i c at i otonplay? s school day ﬁnish? most fun •f orr evi ew pur posesonl y• Sometimes, when our opinion is different from someone else’s, it can create problems.

2. (a) Have you ever had a difference of opinion with someone?

Yes

(b) If yes, what did you do about it?

Bella and Billy are having a difference of opinion over what colour to paint the boat they built together.

3. Colour the boat in a way that could be a solution to their difference of opinion. What was your solution?

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Self-esteem

Who is watching you?

Teachers notes

Being a positive role model Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands that people project an image to others. • Understands that by projecting a positive image, he/ she can be a role model for others. • Identiﬁes people who might look up to him/her as a role model.

Describe a person in your life who has been a respected role model and how you have changed the way you think, look or behave to be more like that person. Ask the students whether they think striving to be more like someone you admire is a good or a bad thing. Introduce the idea of being the best person they can be by taking the things they love about other people and using them to help guide them towards being the type of person they want to be. Have the students suggest what type of person they strive to be and why they believe adopting the qualities they describe could help to create a better version of themselves.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page and deduce why the kid might hold that opinion of Billy. What might the kid have experienced for him to hold that opinion? Encourage the students to consider the image Billy might project with respect to his appearance, behaviour, beliefs and understandings and general disposition. 2. Read the text about the way we present to others and why it is up to us to decide how others see us. 3. Direct the students to the two contrasting pictures in Question 1. Have them describe each of the pictures and the ‘image’ they project on a ﬁrst impression. 4. Read the text suggesting the students can be a positive role model for others. Discuss why people might need positive role models around them. How do they inﬂuence others and the way they conduct themselves? 5. Brainstorm to list types of people who might look up to someone like the students in the class; for example, younger students or siblings or people with similar interests who wish to improve their skills. The students can then list people for whom they think they could be a positive role model to complete Question 2.

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Have the students write about a person who is a role model for them. It may be a famous person, someone known personally to them, or a relative. Encourage the students to remember that they are a role model for younger students and that their conduct around the school is inﬂuential. A buddy program could be set up where the students can mentor a younger student in a positive way.

Answers

Activity links Being my best ...............................................pp 20–21 Why do I look the way I do? .........................pp 22–23 The ‘perfect’ person .......................................pp 28–29 What I think of me ........................................pp 32–33 What message do I send to others? ..............pp 34–35 What people like about me ...........................pp 36–37

Students should clearly understand that adopting good qualities as represented by others does not compromise who they are as a person and if they do attempt to adopt a quality which makes them feel uncomfortable or makes them feel they are ‘pretending’, they are probably attempting to change in a way that is inappropriate for them. Students should also understand that their image is multifaceted and is presented to others physically, behaviourally, cognitively and emotionally.

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Who is watching you? Billy is such a cool kid. I want to be like him!

The way we behave and take care of ourselves can be seen by everyone we meet. The way other people see us is for us to decide.

1. Look at the two people below. Write what you think the way they look and behave would say to people they meet. (a)

(b)

When you take care of yourself and behave in a positive way, you can be a great role model for other people and encourage them to be positive as well.

2. List some people you could be a positive role model for.

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Setting goals

Teachers notes

Achieving personal goals Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands people need to set clear goals to give themselves direction. • Understands people are capable of improving who they are and what they can achieve. • Identiﬁes goals for his/her future and demonstrates a willingness to work towards them.

Have the students describe in their own words what is meant by a ‘goal’. Ask the students whether they have ever set a goal for themselves and whether or not they were able to achieve it. Discuss why people need to set goals for themselves. Show the students pictures of famous people with whom they are familiar. Encourage the students to suggest the goals these people might have set for themselves when they were younger.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Have the students discuss Billy’s goal and how he is working towards achieving it. 2. Read Question 1 and encourage the students to share what their dream is for the future. Allow the students time to draw a picture describing the dream. 3. Read the text about making dreams come true. Ask the students how they could go about making their dreams come true. Discuss whether it is all up to them or whether there may be other factors which also inﬂuence their future but are beyond their control. 4. Read each of the personal goal categories in Question 2 and introduce the idea of having different types of goals. Allow the students to think about each category and write a simple goal for each. 5. Discuss how keeping simple goals in mind can help the students to shape who they are and what they do with their time. 6. Encourage the students to think about how they could begin to work towards achieving one or all of their personal goals and write a suggestion to complete Question 3.

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Invite individual students to mime for the class how they are making the most of one of their good points. Have the remainder of the class attempt to identify what good point each student is making the most of.

Activity links

Answers

What am I good at? ......................................pp 2–3 Trying hard and improving ............................pp 10–11 Learning new things......................................pp 78–79

Students may struggle to focus on ‘big picture’ goals and may need to break these big ideas into small achievable steps to gain a sense of control over their actions and consequent future. Ensure students understand that while dreams about their future are valuable and give them direction, many things inﬂuence their future beyond simply what they want for it. They need to be constantly reworking their goals into something that is achievable within the parameters of what is possible.

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Setting goals If I am going to be a sports star, I need to start getting ﬁt.

What do you dream about? Do you want to be a famous sportsperson? Or maybe a popstar?

1. Draw a picture of yourself doing something you dream about. Everyone dreams about being better than they are now or doing something really amazing in their life. Some people make their dreams come true! You can, too! One way you can do this is to set some goals for yourself and stick to them.

2. There are different kinds of goals. Write a goal for yourself for each of these things.

If you keep your goals in mind, you can slowly change yourself over time into the best version of yourself you can be.

3. Write a small change or something you could do now to start working towards achieving your goals.

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Self-esteem

Compliments

Teachers notes

Accepting compliments Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Deﬁnes what is meant by a compliment and why it is given. • Understands that different people accept compliments in different ways. • Demonstrates appropriate acceptance of compliments.

Discuss what is meant by a compliment and why people feel compelled to give compliments to one another. Have the students sit in a circle. Give a card which says ‘compliment giver’ to one of the students and a card which says ‘compliment receiver’ to a student on the opposite side of the circle. Have the student holding the compliment giver card give a compliment to the compliment receiver cardholder. As the cards are passed clockwise around the circle, discuss how it felt to give and receive compliments.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Describe what is happening in the cartoon and how Bella is feeling. Have the students consider why Bella might be feeling embarrassed. 2. Read the text that defines the word ‘compliment’. Discuss why it is special to receive a compliment. 3. Have the students describe how they think it would feel to receive a compliment and whether or not they have given someone a compliment before to complete Question 1. 4. Explain that some people find it difficult to know how to behave when someone gives them a compliment. Allow the students to suggest how they think someone might feel or behave in response to receiving a compliment. Discuss whether such responses are appropriate. 5. Direct the students to the list of emotions in Question 2 describing the different ways people might react to receiving a compliment. Have the students draw an emotion on each blank face and label and draw one of their own to complete the question. 6. Encourage the students to reflect upon their own behaviour in relation to compliments. How do they usually react? Is this an appropriate response? What would be an appropriate response to receiving a compliment? Allow the students time to think about these questions and write a response to answer Question 3 (a) and (b). 7. Discuss the difference between giving a genuine compliment and simply saying something nice that a person wants to hear. Encourage the students to give a genuine compliment to someone else in the class.

Sensitivity issues

Follow-up suggestions Have the students write secret compliments on special cards for one another and place them in a makeshift letterbox. Read them out at the end of the day for the students to hear and demonstrate an appropriate response. The teacher could also write compliment cards to include with the students’ contributions.

Answers

Activity links What I think of me ........................................pp 32–33 What message do I send to others? ..............pp 34–35 What people like about me ...........................pp 36–37 You’re the greatest! ......................................pp 38–39 How do you feel about yourself? ..................pp 48–49 Using good manners .....................................pp 74–75

The way people respond to compliments is linked to the way they feel about themselves and the behaviours modelled for them by people they are close to or respected by. Students should be made aware that their response in such situations needs to be courteous and respectful towards the compliment giver and themselves.

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Compliments Wow! That’s a great story, Bella. Maybe you should be an author one day!

A ‘compliment’ is something positive that is said about the way a person looks, behaves, takes care of himself/herself or does something. It is special to receive a compliment.

1. (a) Write how you think it would feel to receive a compliment.

(b) Have you ever given someone a compliment? (c) If yes, was that person happy to receive it?

Yes

© R. I . C.Publ i cat i ons 2. Draw the correct emotion on each face to show different ways people can react • f o r r e v i e w p u r p o s e s o n l y • to a compliment. Label and draw one of your own. Some people ﬁnd it difﬁcult to know how to react when they receive a compliment.

(a)

(b)

smug

embarrassed

(c)

(d)

grateful

(e)

disbelieving

3. (a) When you receive a compliment, how do you usually respond?

(b) What do you think is the most appropriate way to receive a compliment?

Why?

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Self-esteem

Being my best

Teachers notes

Encouraging a positive self-image Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Acknowledges good things about himself/herself. • Acknowledges what makes him or her likeable. • Suggests ways to use his or her good points to be happy and successful.

Nominate individual students and have the remainder of the class attempt to identify the good points of each. Allow the nominated students to add anything that the other students may not have known about them. Discuss how the students could go about making the most of these good points. Compare the good points of the nominated students to demonstrate how people are all different and unique.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss why Billy would not want to be anyone else. How is he feeling about himself? Is it good to feel this way about yourself? Why/Why not? 2. Read the text about the things which make people likeable and worthwhile. Ask the students whether they think they know what is great about being them and how they might ﬁnd out. 3. Direct the students to the picture of the person in the middle of the page. Have them write what they like about themselves in the left-hand column and what they consider to be their good points in the right-hand column to complete Question 1. Encourage the students to share what they wrote if they are comfortable doing so. 4. Read the text which follows, encouraging the students to make the most of their good points. Use the opportunity to make examples of students in the class who do make the most of their good points. 5. Encourage the students to look at the lists they wrote and devise ways in which they could make the most of their good points. Allow the students to offer examples based on their own lists. Students write how they could make the most of some of their good points to complete Question 2.

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Activity links

Answers

What am I good at? ......................................pp 2–3 Compliments .................................................pp 18–19 What people like about me ...........................pp 36–37 Showing off ...................................................pp 94–95

Students who do not wish to share information about themselves can be encouraged but not forced to participate. Talking about oneself is seen as inappropriate behaviour in some cultures. Students may also have difﬁculty identifying their good points or what they like about themselves if they are feeling poorly about themselves or distracted. These students should be assisted by peers or the teacher to identify such traits as a means of helping them establish a more positive identity for themselves.

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Being my best We are all so different from one another. We can’t all be the best looking or the smartest or the fastest runner! There are a million other things that are just as valuable and worth liking about ourselves—the secret is knowing what is great about being you!

You know … I wouldn’t want to be anyone else!

1. (a) Complete the picture to make it look like you. (b) Write what you like about yourself and what you think are your good points in the spaces provided. What I like about myself

My good points

When you know the things you like about yourself and what your good points are, you can make the most of these great things. For example, if one of your good points is your smile, why not make a point of smiling more often?

2. How could you make the most of some of your good points?

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Self-esteem

Why do I look the way I do?

Teachers notes

Accepting personal appearance Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Appreciates that it is normal to be concerned about physical appearance. • Understands that the genes people inherit from their parents carry the information that decides how they look. • Understands that the way people look after themselves inﬂuences the way they look.

Provide a picture of a supermodel or someone whom the students identify as attractive. Ask the students why the person in the picture looks that way. Are there any other people in the world who look the same? Discuss whether the person might look different at different times and how he/she might look different. Question the students as to how people can affect the way they look by changing how they take care of themselves.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Ask the students whether they think Billy is happy with having short horns and whether there is anything he can do to change that aspect of his looks. 2. Read the text about being concerned about looks. Ask the students whether they have ever asked themselves any of these questions. Have the students consider why they might be concerned about their appearance. The students can then answer Question 1 independently. 3. Read about ‘Your genes’. Direct the students to Question 2 and allow them to decide whether they share similar looks with their parents in each of the categories. 4. Read about ‘How you look after yourself’. Encourage the students to suggest the things they do and the choices they make that inﬂuence their appearance. Direct the students to the categories in Question 3. Have the students give themselves a rating out of 5 for each category, with 1 representing poor habits and 5 representing excellent habits. The students can then add their ratings to give a total score out of 35. 5. Encourage the students to share their scores with the class and identify the areas where they have excellent habits and the areas that need work.

Follow up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Encourage the students to use the information in Question 3 to identify areas where they need to improve and to actively make these improvements in the way they look after themselves. Have the students investigate and construct their family tree, including as many relatives as possible. Encourage the students to include photos if they can and to compare their own looks to their extended family members.

Activity links

Answers

Fuel for our body ...........................................pp 24–25 Smoking ........................................................pp 26–27 The ‘perfect’ person .......................................pp 28–29 Tricky pictures ...............................................pp 30–31 Being different ..............................................pp 82–83

Students who come from blended families, do not know who one of their birth parents is or are adopted, may ﬁnd completing tasks related to genes confusing. (Some students may not know whether they are adopted.) The students themselves should be left to decide whether or not they wish to complete such tasks.

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Why do I look the way I do? Why do I have short horns, Mum?

Most people think about the way they look from time to time. ‘Am I too fat? Too skinny? Is my skin too pale? Too dark?’ They also worry about what other people think of the way they look.

1. Do you ever think about the way you look?

Yes

There are two things which make you look the way you do.

Your genes

How you look after yourself

Genes contain the information that makes you look the way you do. They are passed on to you from your mother and father. So you are likely to have parts of you that look a bit like your parents.

The way you look after yourself affects the way you look, just as the way you look after your toys affects the way they look.

3. How well do you look after yourself? Give yourself a score out of 5 for each of the following (5 = the best)

2. Who do you look like?

neither Ears

mother

father

Eating the right food Exercising

neither Sleeping Nose

mother

father

neither Chin

mother

father

neither Hair

mother

Keeping busy Caring for others

father

neither Skin

Having fun

Keeping safe Total =

father

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Self-esteem

Fuel for our body

Teachers notes

Eating the right food and exercising Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands that the food people choose to eat, combined with the amount of exercise they do, will inﬂuence their appearance. • Connects food consumption with energy and understands that people need to exercise to use this energy and become strong and healthy. • Analyses own food consumption in relation to energy used.

Invite the students to bring their lunch box or their lunch order into the classroom for analysis. Encourage the students to determine how their lunch might affect their appearance in the long term.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Ask the students whether or not they can relate to Billy’s desire for a chocolate diet. Discuss whether they think Billy actually does eat chocolate all the time and how they can tell. 2. Read the text about eating foods in moderation. 3. Direct the students to the table in Question 1 and have them record all the things they have drunk or eaten over the past 24 hours in the appropriate columns. Ask the students to list any additional snacks they may have had into the supper or snacks columns. 4. Read Question 2 and allow the students time to circle the items in their table with the appropriate colour. From this, they will visually be able to decide whether or not their diet is healthy. 5. Ask the students to describe their diet in terms of healthiness to complete Question 3 (a) and to determine whether or not they need to make any changes to complete 3 (b). 6. Read the text which follows, introducing the concept of food as ‘fuel’ for the body and the role this fuel plays in allowing the students to develop and maintain a healthy body. 7. Encourage the students to share the kinds of exercise they do. Ask them to indicate how much exercise they do to complete Question 4. 8. Brainstorm to list types of exercises that are available for the students to do at school or after school today. The students can then write what exercise or exercises they intend to do during the remainder of the day to complete Question 5.

Follow-up suggestions Identify healthy food choices available at the school canteen/tuckshop. Hold a healthy foods project day where the students work in small teams to create a menu or platter of healthy food for the class to share. Investigate the amount of energy in different foods and attempt to equate this to the amount of exercise required to burn that energy.

Answers

Activity links Why do I look the way I do? .........................pp 22–23 Tricky pictures ...............................................pp 30–31 The ‘perfect’ person .......................................pp 28–29 What I think of me ........................................pp 32–33

Students who are overweight or underweight should not be made the target of this activity. Everyone has a different metabolism, affecting the amount they can eat and process. There is, therefore, no generalised ‘right’ quantity of food a student should be eating. Similarly, students will eat more during a growth spurt than they would normally and should not be made to feel guilty about the amount they eat. Be aware also of physiological problems that may cause abnormal weight gain or loss. The focus should remain on eating sensibly for individual requirements.

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Fuel for our body I love chocolate – I could eat it all day long! Mmmm. It is okay to eat chocolate now and then, but if we eat too much of any kind of food, it can change the way our body works and looks.

1. What do you eat in a day? Use the table below to list everything you’ve eaten and drunk in the last 24 hours. Be honest! Breakfast

Morning snack

Lunch

Afternoon snack

Dinner

Supper

2. (a) Put a blue circle around each healthy food and drink in your table.

3. (a) How would you describe your diet? (b) Do you need to change your diet and take better care of yourself? Yes

If yes, explain how.

We use food to fuel our body and get it moving. Exercising our body helps us grow properly, develops strong muscles and keeps the inside and the outside of our body looking good.

4. How much exercise do you do? heaps

5. Explain how you plan to exercise today.

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Self-esteem

Smoking

Teachers notes

Saying ‘no’ to smoking Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands that people may place pressure on others to try cigarette smoking. • Identiﬁes the consequences of smoking. • Understands that smoking is life threatening. • Demonstrates resolve against accepting cigarettes.

Ask the students whether they know anyone who smokes. Encourage the students to share what they know about each person’s smoking habit. Does he/she smoke often? Is It expensive? Is his/her health suffering? Is his/her appearance affected? Has he/she ever offered cigarettes to others? Discuss scenarios where the students might be confronted with an opportunity to try cigarettes. Have the students suggest why they might be tempted to try them and debate whether or not trying cigarettes would be a responsible decision.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the page. Discuss what is happening between Dizzy and Billy. What is Dizzy’s opinion of smoking? What is Billy’s opinion? Why might Billy be tempted to try cigarettes? What decision do you think he will make? 2. Read the text about how smoking makes people look to others. 3. Direct the students to the table in Question 1 and allow them time to construct a list of ‘good’ and bad aspects of smoking with their peers. On completion, ask the students which side of the table was easier to complete and have them indicate their response to complete Question 2. Discuss why the ‘good’ side was much more difﬁcult to complete. 4. Read the text which follows, outlining the dangerous nature of smoking. The students may wish to share stories about people they know who have suffered as a result of smoking and should be encouraged to do so. 5. Read Question 3 and have the students think about what they would do if someone offered them cigarettes. Allow them to draw a picture of themselves and write an appropriate response to Dizzy’s offer in the speech bubble provided.

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Role-play scenarios where a student is offered a cigarette but turns it down. Research the potential side effects from smoking cigarettes.

Activity links

Answers

Why do I look the way I do? .........................pp 22–23 What message do I send to others? ..............pp 34–35 I need help! ...................................................pp 58–59 Fitting in ........................................................pp 66–67 How to say ‘no’ .............................................pp 68–69 When it’s okay to ‘dob’ .................................pp 120–121

Smoking is unacceptable by any student regardless of his/ her home background. Be aware of students who may be concerned about cigarette use by family members or have experienced the illness or death of someone as a result of smoking.

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Smoking Look what I got from my brother. Smoking is really cool—look at me! Try it, Billy! Hmmm ... I don’t know how cool smoking is, Dizzy. Some people think smoking is cool. But most people really don’t! There are lots of ways to be cool without smoking cigarettes.

1. Use the table to write all the good things and bad things you know about smoking cigarettes. Talk to your classmates to get more ideas.

Good

Bad

Good

Bad

The fact is that whether you think smoking is cool or not, it is VERY DANGEROUS. Smoking-related diseases have killed millions of people. Some people want to stop smoking, but they can’t do it on their own because they are addicted to it.

3. What would you say if someone tried to get you to smoke a cigarette? Complete the cartoon. Come on – what’s wrong with you? Have a puff! It won’t hurt you!

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Self-esteem

The ‘perfect’ person

Teachers notes

Being realistic about body image Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Attempts to construct his/her version of a ‘perfect’ person. • Understands that views of what is ideal differ from person to person. • Recognises the importance of being unique.

Have the students attempt to describe in their own words what ‘perfect’ means. As a whole class, invent a ‘perfect’ person using the body parts and personal qualities of famous people the students know. Discuss the problems they had deciding what to include and whether it is possible to construct someone who is perfect in everyone’s eyes.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Read the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss whether the students have ever felt like they needed to change something about themselves and whether it would be possible for them to make changes to become perfect. 2. Read Question 1, giving instructions for creating a ‘perfect’ person. Provide the students with magazines and allow them to cut and glue pieces from different people to create their own version of the perfect person in the space provided. They may like to draw in some parts themselves. They can then compare their creations with those of other students to answer Question 2. 3. Discuss what the world would be like if everyone looked the same as the perfect people the students created. Would the world be a better place? Would there be any problems? Allow the students to write their analysis of this situation to complete Question 3. 4. Have the students imagine they could have surgery that would allow them to look like the picture they created or that of another student. Encourage them to think about how this would affect their life. Would it change at all? If so, how? Have them write their ideas to complete Question 4.

Follow-up suggestions Make a class display of the ‘perfect people’ created by the students. Have the students imagine and write what they think would happen in the world, in their school or in their classroom if everyone looked ‘perfect’. Create a noticeboard which could be used to celebrate the uniqueness of a nominated class member each week, using photos, work samples, words and phrases.

Answers

Activity links I think… .......................................................pp 12–13 Why do I look the way I do? .........................pp 22–23 Tricky pictures ...............................................pp 30–31 What people like about me ...........................pp 36–37 How do you feel about yourself? ..................pp 48–49 Being different ..............................................pp 82–83

The aim of this activity is to celebrate the uniqueness of individuals, complete with all their ﬂaws. However, the students must also understand that, as part of a community, they need to participate within it responsibly by following rules and using appropriate social skills in order to be valued by its members.

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The ‘perfect’ person What does the perfect person look like?

1. Use body parts from pictures in magazines to create a perfect-looking person. You might have to draw in some parts yourself.

I wish I could change the way my ears stick out. Then I would look perfect.

The ‘perfect’ person

2. Does your perfect person look the same as everyone else’s? Yes

3. Imagine everyone looked like your perfect person. Would this make the world a better place? Yes

4. Imagine you had surgery to look like the picture you created or like someone else’s ‘perfect’ person. How do you think your life would change?

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Self-esteem

Tricky pictures

Teachers notes

The media and body image Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands that images portrayed by the media can be altered to improve a person’s appearance. • Understands that high-proﬁle celebrities are no more ‘perfect’ than anyone else. • Demonstrates an acceptance of own body image despite its imperfections.

Discuss movies the students may have seen, making reference to scenes which use special effects. Question the students as to how these effects are made to look so real. Are stunt people used? Are computers used? Are any of the images we see on the screen real? Encourage the students to share their knowledge of what happens behind the scenes to get the ‘stars’ looking so glamorous. Ask them whether they think they could look as glamorous if they got the same special treatment.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss why Bella might be feeling so surprised about the way she looks. 2. Read the text about the ‘tricks’ used to make media images look more ‘perfect’. 3. Provide the students with magazines containing ‘glamour’ or altered photographs of people Have the students cut an image from the magazine and glue it into the space provided in Question 1. The students can then study the image closely (you may even like to provide a magnifying glass and encourage the students to be detectives) and mark the areas they think have been altered in some way on their image. Allow the students to share their discoveries and suspicions with their peers. 4. Direct the students to Question 2 and have them explain how the physical features listed could be changed or altered by a computer; e.g. nose shortened, hair coloured. 5. Read the text which follows, revealing that celebrities share the same feelings about their appearance as everyone else. Discuss why people who are in such high proﬁle positions might be more pressured to have plastic surgery. 6. Encourage the students to think about the beneﬁts of looking the way they do and have them write their suggestions to complete Question 3.

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Hold a class debate exploring the positive and negative effects of having plastic surgery. Make a class collage of altered photography and display it with the title ‘What’s real?’

Answers

Activity links Why do I look the way I do? .........................pp 22–23 The ‘perfect’ person .......................................pp 28–29 What I think of me ........................................pp 32–33 What people like about me ...........................pp 36–37 You’re the greatest! ......................................pp 38–39

Students as young as ﬁve and six years old can be overwhelmed by concerns about their appearance, leading them to possibly make inappropriate choices in the way they look after themselves. Body image is an extremely sensitive issue to many students and care should be taken to divert attention away from the issues of individuals and towards developing an ability to appreciate themselves as they are. Students who wish to discuss their concerns should do so conﬁdentially.

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Tricky pictures Wow … Is that really a photo of me? Wow, Bella … You look perfect in that picture! You can’t always believe what you see! Did you know that people use computers to change photos so they look ‘more perfect’? It is very clever and can make you believe that people in magazines are perfect … but they’re not!

1. Find a glamorous photo of someone in a magazine. Glue it into the space below and mark the places where you think a computer has been used to make the photo look ‘more perfect’.

2. Explain how someone’s features listed below could be changed to make us think he or she is ‘more perfect’ than in real life. (a) Facial features

Famous people are the same as anybody else. They think about changing how they look, too! Just think of all the stars who have plastic surgery!

3. What is the best thing about looking like you?

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Self-esteem

What I think of me

Teachers notes

Self-image Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Identiﬁes or develops a perception of self. • Understands that the way people look, act and feel about things contributes to how they feel about themselves. • Identiﬁes positive beliefs about self.

Explain to the students that the way other people see them and the way they see themselves can be two different things. Ask them whether or not they believe others see them the same way as they see themselves. Have the students suggest things that make them feel good about themselves. Guide them to think about physical appearance, actions and feelings in their responses.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Read the text at the top of the student activity page. Ask the students whether they ever ‘give themselves a hard time’. If so, what do they give themselves a hard time about? The way they look? The way they act? How they are feeling? 2. Direct the students to Question 1 and draw attention to the three areas of self-image being explored in the activity. Allow the students time to reﬂect upon what they think about themselves in each area. Have the students write positive things and things which need improving in each area to complete the task. 3. The students can then review the information in Question 1 and list the good things about themselves to answer Question 2. 4. Draw attention to the things the students felt they needed to change about themselves in Question 1. Discuss whether or not they identiﬁed things which they had the power to change. Have the students suggest the things about themselves which can not be changed. The students can then identify the changeable things and underline them to complete Question 3 (a). Ask the students whether or not they will attempt to change these things and indicate their response to complete 3 (b). 5. Read the words in the boxes in Question 4 and have the students colour the box or boxes which best describe(s) how they feel about themselves.

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Have the students write a personal proﬁle of themselves. Brainstorm to list the categories and questions to be included in the proﬁle. Read fables and stories with a moral. Discuss what the characters might have learnt about themselves as a result of the experience.

Answers

Activity links Who is watching you? ...................................pp 14–15 Being my best ...............................................pp 20–21 What people like about me ...........................pp 36–37 Keeping feelings under control......................pp 44–45 How do you feel about yourself? ..................pp 48–49

Self-image is extremely personal and students should not be made to participate in sharing thoughts and feelings about themselves openly with the class unless they are willing to do so. Investigating the beliefs students hold about themselves may provide insight for teachers into the reasons why a particular student chooses to behave in the way he/she does. This understanding can in turn provide teachers with an improved ability to modify inappropriate student behaviour.

Self-esteem

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What I think of me The hardest person to please is often you! Do you sometimes ‘give yourself a hard time’ about the way you look, act or feel about things? Or do you think you are just right the way you are?

1. Describe what you think of the way you look, act and feel about things. (a)

The way I look

(b)

The way I act

(c)

The way I feel

Good things

Things I would like to change

2. List the good things you wrote about yourself from Question 1.

3. (a) Look at the things you would like to change from Question 1. Some things you can change and some you can’t. Underline the things you can change. (b) Will you try to change these things about yourself?

Yes

4. Colour the box or boxes that describe(s) how you feel about yourself. someone I could be friends with

okay I need to change

unhappy

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Self-esteem

What message do I send to others?

Teachers notes

Public image Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands that other people formulate opinions about him/her as a result of how he/she looks and acts. • Identiﬁes personal traits. • Attempts to look at himself/herself from the perspective of others.

Ask the students whether there are certain people they get along with better than others. Encourage the students to share why they get along with these people better and suggest what kind of personal qualities they look for in a friend.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss whether or not reading a lot really means someone is very smart. Introduce the idea that the things the students choose to do can inﬂuence the beliefs people hold about them. Ask the students what they might think about someone who never brushes his/her hair, spends all his/her spare time playing sport or tells tales about other people. 2. Read the text about the way others see us and how they make decisions about us. 3. Ask the students how they think other people see them and choose words from the box (or write their own words) they think describe the views held about them by others. Have them write their chosen words in the mirror on the right-hand side of the page to complete Question 1. 4. The students can then read the things they wrote in the mirror and think about whether or not they like the image of themselves they ‘see’. Ask the students to indicate their response to answer Question 2. 5. Have the students think about their image in general terms and write a brief description of how they think others must see them to answer Question 3. 6. Refer back to the pre-lesson discussion about the things they look for in their friends. Have the students consider whether they are the sort of person someone would like to be friends with and write a response to complete Question 4.

Follow-up suggestions Discuss the kinds of qualities the students most admire in their friends and develop a list of behaviours which the students deem most appealing as a ‘Making and keeping friends guide’. Have the students reﬂect upon something great a friend did for them once and write a short recount of ‘Why my friends are the greatest’, referring to this example.

Answers

Activity links Why do I look the way I do? .........................pp 22–23 What I think of me ........................................pp 32–33 What people like about me ...........................pp 36–37 No-one likes me ............................................pp 54–55 Rules for best friends ....................................pp 64–65 Being different ..............................................pp 82–83 Make up your own mind ...............................pp 84–85

Students should not be too ruthless in their opinions of one another and will need to be reminded to keep negative opinions about speciﬁc individuals to themselves. Encourage them to refer to negative traits in general terms which will not implicate individuals. Remind the students also that being ‘different’ does not imply ‘weird’ or ‘abnormal’ and that accepting the differences of others is a positive personal trait.

Self-esteem

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What message do I send to others? Bella really loves reading – she must be very smart. Yeah … The things you do, how you behave and the way you take care of yourself persuades people to think a certain way about you. How do you think other people see you? What kind of image do you think you have?

1. Choose words or statements out of the box that describe how you think other people see you and write them in the mirror. You may also add your own words. funny

sporty

untidy

bad-tempered

loud

lonely

talkative

kind

troublemaker

quiet

leader

fun

creative

energetic

bookworm

problem-solver

lazy

healthy

reliable

2. Read the things you wrote about yourself in the mirror. Circle the things you like in blue. Circle some of the things you would like to change in red. 3. How would you describe the way other people must see you?

4. What would it be like to be friends with someone like you?

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Self-esteem

What people like about me

Teachers notes

Positive feedback Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Identiﬁes personal traits admired by others. • Accepts positive feedback given by others. • Provides positive feedback to peers.

Pre-prepare a series of ﬂashcards or a list of positive personal traits. Hold up or suggest the traits one and a time and ask the students to nominate class members who they feel demonstrate these traits to stand in front of their peers. Encourage the students to applaud each group for their positive traits before asking them to return to their seat and proceeding to the next trait. Examples of positive traits might include being neat and tidy, reliable, humorous, fair, ﬁt and healthy, hardworking, kind or generous.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Ask the students why Billy’s mum thinks he is a ‘treasure’. What qualities might he have displayed for her to call him her treasure? 2. Read the text about the ability to share positive traits with others. Review some of the positive traits mentioned in the pre-lesson discussion. 3. Direct the students to the ‘treasure box’ template at the bottom of the page. Model for the students how the treasure box can be constructed, by reading and following the instructions. 4. Allow the students to construct their own treasure box and add the treasure strips they have prepared to their own boxes and the boxes of the students they wrote ‘treasure’ for.

Follow-up suggestions

Invite the students to share why they are a ‘treasure’ by reading out the treasure they have in their treasure boxes. Encourage the students to write more ‘treasure’ about their friends and fellow class members and ‘secretly’ deposit them into their treasure boxes.

Activity links

Answers

Who is watching you? ...................................pp 14–15 Compliments .................................................pp 18–19 What I think of me ........................................pp 32–33 You’re the greatest! ......................................pp 38–39 Different types of friends ...............................pp 62–63 Make up your own mind ...............................pp 84–85

Take the opportunity to monitor and model inclusive behaviour while investigating this topic. To encourage students to broaden their focus to all class members rather than just their closest friends when writing and delivering ‘treasure’, suggest that someone’s ability to include others is also a positive trait. Depending on the tone of the class, it may be necessary to monitor any ‘treasure’ being secretly delivered to ensure its reafﬁrming nature.

Self-esteem

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What people like about me It doesn’t matter who you are—everyone has something good to share with others. It could be your sense of humour, or perhaps you are good at making other people feel special when you are around them.

You’re a treasure, Billy!

1. Colour the treasure box template below. Write your name on the front. Cut it out along the dashed lines and fold along all the solid lines, using sticky tape to fasten the sides. Leave the top free to open and close the treasure box. 2. Write something good people like about you on one of the treasure strips.

Thanks, Mum!

3. Write something good you like about two other people in your class on the remaining treasure strips. 4. Cut out the treasure strips and fold them in half. Place yours in your treasure box and the others in the treasure boxes of the classmates you wrote about.

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Self-esteem

You’re the greatest!

Teachers notes

Positive afﬁrmations for others Indicators

Pre-lesson focus discussion

• Understands that what people say can affect how others feel about themselves. • Demonstrates a willingness and ability to extend positive afﬁrmations to others.

Discuss what is meant by a ‘positive affirmation’. Review how we can receive a compliment appropriately. Brainstorm to list the types of things the students could congratulate or affirm one another for. Invite the students to share personal achievements and model the ways they can affirm their achievements in what they say and how they behave in response.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Ask the students what they think might have happened just before the kids gave each other a high five. How would this gesture make each of the kids feel? 2. Read the text under the cartoon, discussing why asking someone what they think of you might be embarrassing. Consider why being someone we really like is the best way to behave. 3. Direct the students to the poem at the bottom of the page. Read each of the unfinished lines of the poem together. Make up a few quick poems using the text as a guide to demonstrate how the students can construct their own poems. 4. Have the students think about a person in the class to ‘reaffirm’ using the poem. Suggest that they might like to write their poem to someone they think really needs some positive reaffirming. 5. Allow the students time to write their poems and to deliver them to their chosen classmate. Remind the students that if they have not received a positive affirmation this time, it could mean that at the moment there are other people who need it more and that affirmations are a gift and should be given with a generous spirit and not to gain something in return.

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Invite the students to read their poems to the class before handing them onto their recipients. Encourage the students to praise one another’s efforts in general class activities to help build a positive and rewarding learning environment.

Answers

Activity links Compliments .................................................pp 18–19 What people like about me ...........................pp 36–37 Being different ..............................................pp 82–83 Showing off ...................................................pp 94–95

Be aware that students are extremely perceptive and can take insincere praise as being condescending, false or even an insult in some contexts. Ensure that all praise given by both staff and students is genuine, to maximise its effectiveness.

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You’re the greatest! Do you ever wonder what people think of you? You could ask someone, but that could be embarrassing! The only thing to do is stop worrying about what other people think and put your energy into being the best person you can be— someone you really like! However, you can help other people feel happy about themselves by letting them know what you like about them. Here’s an easy way to start!

Finish this poem and give it to someone you think could use some encouragement.

Things Iu like about you ©R . I . C.P bl i cat i o ns •f orr evi ew pur posesonl y• I like the way you And I like the way you You make me feel When you I’m so glad you are in my class because And You’re a really

person!

From

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Self-esteem

Why misbehaving doesn’t work

Teachers notes

Misbehaviour Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Acknowledges that misbehaviour is an ineffective means of impressing others. • Identiﬁes appropriate behaviours which are perceived by peers as ‘cool’. • Demonstrates appropriate behaviour.

Discuss how it feels to get into trouble. Have the students suggest reasons why some people might want to get into trouble at school. Explore such ideas as impressing peers, getting out of work or trying to look ‘smart’. Review the class discipline policy and discuss whether or not the students feel it is a fair system and why it helps students to remember to behave appropriately (or is not working at the moment).

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss what is happening and why Dizzy is behaving in this way. Encourage the students to share whether or not they think Dizzy is clever because of what he has said and how his comments might have made the teacher feel. 2. Read the text about how ‘uncool’ misbehaving is. Discuss the difference between sharing a joke and being disruptive in class. The students should recognise that a sense of humour is only valuable when used appropriately. 3. Discuss ‘cool’ behaviour the students can demonstrate which is positive. Have the students write their suggestions into the icicles to complete Question 1. 4. Ask the students to think of two cool people they know and to use them to help identify what makes a person cool. Allow the students time to write their thoughts to complete Question 2. 5. Read the statement about being cool if you believe you are. Ask the students whether they think they are cool and have them indicate their belief about themselves to answer Question 3.

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Set up positive reinforcement charts recognising appropriate behaviour demonstrated by the students, with a view to shifting the focus from negative to positive behaviour in the classroom. Encourage the students to determine suitable consequences for inappropriate behaviour in their classroom, thus fostering ownership and acceptance of any discipline administered.

Answers

Activity links Things I am responsible for ...........................pp 4–5 Should I or shouldn’t I? .................................pp 8–9 Who is watching you? ...................................pp 14–15 How to say ‘no’ .............................................pp 68–69 Why do people tease? ...................................pp 116–117 When it’s okay to ‘dob’ .................................pp 120–121

Students need to be aware of the difference between appropriate and inappropriate humour and reminded that although a sense of humour is a positive trait, it is only positive when used at the appropriate times. Ensure that attention is not given to particular students in the class or school in reference to poor behaviour. Labelling students as ‘naughty’ or ‘disruptive’ can fuel further misbehaviour through the pressure of peer expectation and will make a transition to improved conduct more difﬁcult.

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Why misbehaving doesn’t work He’s such a show-off – not cool.

Ha, ha, ha—Did you hear that? I burped!! Outside, Dizzy. We’ve had enough of your behaviour today.

Do you know anyone who misbehaves all the time? Misbehaving and getting into trouble for showing-off, or being mean, are very ‘uncool’. Sometimes, students can THINK they are being cool or funny by doing these things, but really, they are making a fool of themselves.

1. What do you think is cool? Write your ideas in the icicles.

2. Think of two cool people you know and imagine they are called ‘X’ and ‘Y’. Write what makes them cool to you.

Some people think that if you believe you are cool then you are.

3. Do you believe you are cool?

Yes

Why/Why not?

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Self-esteem

Feelings

Teachers notes

Positive and negative feelings Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands that emotions are fuelled by chemicals being released into the brain. • Identiﬁes a range of emotions. • Understands that when people show strong emotions, it affects others around them.

Relate a personal story about a situation that evoked strong emotions. Discuss why you felt strong emotions as a result of the situation and how your emotions affected the people around you. Suggest that there are many different strong emotions and have the students identify some of them. Invite the students to share their own emotional stories, indicating what the strong emotion was that they felt and why they felt it. Have the other class members deduce how they might have felt if they had seen the student showing this strong emotion.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page and ask the students if they have ever heard of an ‘endorphin’ and what they think it might be. 2. Read the text giving a simple explanation of ‘endorphins’. Review some of the feelings which would be fuelled by endorphins. 3. Ask the students to think back to a recent time and identify a situation when they felt strong emotions. Have the students write about their experience and the emotion they felt to complete Question 1. 4. Direct the students to the grid in Question 2. Identify the feelings shown on the faces in the grid and have the students write what each is in the space provided. The students can then draw facial expressions to represent the feelings in the remaining grid squares. 5. Read the sentences in Question 3. Deduce what the missing elements could be using the words in the grid for assistance. Allow the students time to complete the task independently. 6. Discuss why friendly, happy people might make friends with other friendly, happy people and review the answers given by the students for 3 (b) and (c).

Follow up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Read familiar stories or fairytales. Have the students choose a character to analyse and track their emotions on a simple graph using a happy/sad scale as the story is read. Write stories based on a particular feeling; for example, a scary story or a story titled ‘The surprise of my life!’

Answers

Activity links Keeping feelings under control......................pp 44–45 Hurt feelings..................................................pp 46–47 How do you feel about yourself? ..................pp 48–49

Students should understand that although our feelings are enhanced by a physiological release of chemicals, in the brain, this is not an excuse for demonstrating poor control over them. Though the way they feel may be difﬁcult to control, how they act upon those feelings is a conscious choice.

Self-esteem

1. Answers will vary 2. (a) bored (c) happy (e) angry (g) excited 3. (a) happy (c) angry, sad

(b) teacher check (d) teacher check (f) teacher check (h) teacher check (b) bored, sad, angry or nervous

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Feelings What’s an endorphin?

Endorphins are chemicals that are released into our brain and make us feel strong emotions. They can make us feel happy or sad or many other feelings.

1. Think back to a recent time when you had strong feelings. (a) What was the strong feeling you had? (b) What caused endorphins to be released in your brain?

2. Draw a face or write a feeling to ﬁll in the blanks in this ‘feelings’ grid.

(b) nervous

(c)

(d) sad

(e)

(f) greedy

(g)

(h) surprised

3. Use words from the grid to complete these sentences. (a) When you feel friendly and with other friendly, happy people.

, you will make friends

(b) When you are left out of a game, you may feel

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Self-esteem

Keeping feelings under control

Teachers notes

Dealing with strong emotions Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Recognises there are appropriate and inappropriate ways to deal with strong emotions. • Understands that the way people choose to behave in response to strong emotions is under their control. • Explains an example of appropriate behaviour when experiencing strong emotion.

Ask the students to ﬁnd a space to lie down on their back where they are not touching anyone else. Have them close their eyes and breathe deeply to relax. Describe in great detail a roller-coaster ride, including feelings upon seeing the ride, deciding to go on the ride, lining up in anticipation, buckling up, the various ups, downs and spins as the roller-coaster travels along the track and the emotions felt at the end of the journey, perhaps in anticipation of another ride. Discuss the emotions felt by the students during the duration of the ride, including before and after. Make a list of all the emotions that were felt in such a short period.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page and discuss what is meant by the term ‘emotional rollercoaster’. Ask the students whether they have ever felt like they were on an emotional roller-coaster. 2. Read the text and discuss how the students might be at risk of hurting others when they are feeling strong emotions. Debate whether or not they are able to control their behaviour when they are very happy or angry. 3. Look at the feelings listed in Question 1 and the positive ways the students can deal with negative emotions. Allow them to re-read and match each feeling to an appropriate behavioural response. Review and discuss each of the answers when the students have completed the task. 4. Read the text which follows about the things the students can control. Ask them whether they have ever met anyone who has trouble controlling their angry feelings. Invite the students to share (without mentioning any names) how being around an uncontrollably angry person makes them feel. 5. Discuss other feelings the students need to control. Refer to the part of the text describing how bad feelings can make them feel sadder if they do not control them. Encourage the students to share their ideas on how someone who was feeling sad might be able to take control and try to make himself/herself feel happy again. 6. Have the students think about how they could cheer themselves up if they were sad. Use this information to complete Question 2.

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Have the students design and make their own rollercoaster using paper strips glued in curls, humps and loops on a cardboard base. Encourage them to name each of the special features of the roller-coaster based on an emotion, for example, the ‘daring dipper’ or the ‘laughter loop’.

Answers

Activity links Feelings .........................................................pp 42–43 Hurt feelings..................................................pp 46–47 How do you feel about yourself? ..................pp 48–49

Feelings and emotions are not representative of who a person is but, rather, are a reﬂection of the circumstances in which that person is existing at a given time. Refrain from labelling people as being, for example, ‘sad’ or ‘angry’. These labels can serve to perpetuate an emotional state due to expectation rather than as a logical emotional response.

Self-esteem

1. (a) anger – walk away and cool down (b) fear – be brave and ﬁnd help (c) greed – think about others’ needs (d) misery – help yourself to cheer up (e) nervousness – breathe deeply and try not to worry (f) laziness – make an effort to try your hardest 2. Answers will vary R.I.C. Publications®

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Keeping feelings under control We all have feelings. These feelings change all the time. It’s a bit like being on a roller-coaster ride. We can be feeling excited one minute and worried the next! When we show our emotions, we have to be careful not to hurt others. Why not learn to show emotions in a way that helps us and others instead?

1. Match positive ways to deal with these negative feelings. (a) anger

•

think about others’ needs

(b) fear

•

breathe deeply and try not to worry

•

make an effort to try your hardest

• be brave and ﬁnd help © •R. I . C.Pub l i cat i ons (e) nervousness • • help yourself to cheer up •f orr e vi ew pu r posesonl y• (f) laziness • • walk away and cool down (d) misery

There are many things we have no control over in our life—but we DO have control over how we handle our feelings. Some people let bad feelings take control of them and they get sadder and sadder. But you can take control any time and decide to be a happy person.

2. How do you help yourself feel better when you are sad? Draw a picture and describe what you do.

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Self-esteem

Hurt feelings

Teachers notes

Dealing with feelings from past experiences Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands that when someone’s feelings are hurt, it affects how happy and conﬁdent he/she feels. • Identiﬁes things he/she can say to himself/herself to help recover from hurt feelings. • Understands that by choosing to ‘let go’ of bad feelings, he/she can begin to feel better.

Ask the students whether they have ever experienced hurt feelings. Have them attempt to explain what hurt feelings are using their own words. Explain that all people, including adults, have their feelings hurt from time to time. Allow the students to share their experiences if they wish, but to be careful not to mention any names and cause other people’s feelings to be hurt.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss why Dizzy might feel too awkward to ask to join in. Have the students suggest what Dizzy should do in this situation. 2. Read the text about how hurt feelings can alter the way the students feel about themselves. Describe what is meant by ‘the things we say to ourselves in our mind’. Ask the students the sorts of things Dizzy might be saying to himself. 3. Have the students suggest positive things Dizzy could say to himself to feel happier and more confident. Allow the students to write three of these suggestions to complete Question 1. 4. Ask the students to reflect upon a time when they have had their feelings hurt and use this information to complete Question 2 (a) and (b). Encourage the students to analyse the kinds of things they say to themselves when their feelings are hurt and deduce whether or not their self-talk is helping them or making them feel worse. They can then write their deduction to complete 2 (c). 5. Read the text which follows, describing how being able to forgive others and ‘let go’ of bad feelings can help the students to improve how they feel. Discuss how dwelling on bad things and continuing to think about things which upset them can cause them to become more upset. 6. Introduce the idea of blowing their troubles into a balloon and letting it float away so that it can not bother them again. The students could be encouraged to mime this action and share some of the bad things they were exhaling into their balloon. Allow the students to write some negative feelings they could be free of in this way into the balloons in Question 3.

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Provide the students with actual balloons to blow up and display. They can make labels to glue onto the balloons, using permanent marking pens to write the negative feelings they want to let go of. Encourage the students to apologise when hurting someone’s feelings, even if it was unintentional, and to be willing to forgive someone in order to become friends again.

Answers

Activity links Keeping feelings under control......................pp 44–45 How do you feel about yourself? ..................pp 48–49 I forgive you ..................................................pp 80–81 Fighting .........................................................pp 110–111 Why do people tease? ...................................pp 116–117 Don’t talk behind my back ............................pp 118–119

Not all ‘hurt feelings’ can be healed quickly and should be given a proportionate response. Be prepared for the possibility of students disclosing information about experiences with bullying or harassment. All disclosures must be taken seriously and should go through the appropriate channels as outlined in the school’s discipline policy or child protection policy.

Self-esteem

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Last time I asked if I could play with them, they said ‘No’.

Hurt feelings When we have our feelings hurt, it can take a long time to feel happy and conﬁdent about ourselves again. Dizzy is frightened to join in the game because the kids said he couldn’t play with them the last time he asked. The things we say to ourselves in our mind can help us feel happy and conﬁdent again.

1. Write three things Dizzy could say to himself to help him feel happy and conﬁdent about himself again. (a) (b) (c) 2. Think about a time when you have had your feelings hurt. (a) How did it make you feel?

Holding onto bad feelings can make us sadder and sadder. When we forgive people for hurting us, it helps us to forget what happened and get on with a happier life. It’s like blowing all our bad feelings into a balloon and letting it ﬂoat away on the breeze.

3. Write some negative feelings you’d like to get rid of in these balloons.

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Self-esteem

How do you feel about yourself?

Teachers notes

Self-esteem Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands what is meant by ‘self-esteem’. • Evaluates own level of self-esteem. • Understands how the way he/she chooses to behave affects his/her self esteem.

Introduce the term ‘self-esteem’ to the students. Ask them to describe in their own words what they think is meant by the term. Discuss how the students think we develop good or poor self-esteem. Brainstorm to write a description of both a person with good self-esteem and a person with poor self-esteem and compare how each might behave as a result.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Challenge the students to think about how their own self-esteem is going. 2. Read the text describing what is meant by ‘self-esteem’. Discuss why people who have good self-esteem might be better able to control their feelings. Relate these answers to the kinds of things people say to themselves when they are feeling good or poorly about themselves. 3. Direct the students to complete the questionnaire in Question 1. 4. Use the answers given in Question 1 to collate data to complete Question 2 (a) and (b). Have the students analyse the data they collected to determine and indicate what their own self-esteem level is like in Question 2 (c). Discuss whether or not the students think the questionnaire was an accurate way to determine self-esteem levels and whether or not they agree with their results. 5. Read the text about how things can make us feel disliked or unhappy. Discuss how the students’ behaviour can affect how they feel about themselves. Encourage the students to share experiences when they have done something that left them feeling poorly about themselves. Discuss why it made them feel poorly and how they resolved the situation and helped themselves to feel better about themselves again. If they haven’t resolved it, what might they do? 6. Direct the students to the cartoons in Question 3. Discuss what is happening in each cartoon. Have the students describe how Bella would feel about herself as a result of each behaviour, to complete the task.

Follow-up suggestions Have the students think like a person with high selfesteem and answer questions such as: What good things do you look forward to? What do you love about your world? What do you hope for? What do you want to change for the better? What has been your latest success? How do you encourage others? Activity links

Answers

Being my best ...............................................pp 20–21 What I think of me ........................................pp 32–33 What message do I send to others? ..............pp 34–35 Hurt feelings..................................................pp 46–47

People with poor self-esteem usually believe they have good reason to feel the way they do about themselves. Students who appear to be suffering from poor self-esteem should be addressed with compassion and understanding in combination with some strategies for empowering them to take charge of their feelings and become resilient in difﬁcult situations. The activities within this book can be carefully selected by teachers according to the students’ needs. They will equip students with coping strategies and address many of the issues faced by them.

Self-esteem

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How do you feel about yourself?

Some days I feel great …

and some days I don’t feel so great.

The way you feel about yourself is called ‘self-esteem’. People who have good self-esteem like who they are, are happy, always have a go, are nice to others, look after themselves and make great friendships. They always try to enjoy what they are doing.

1. Do you have good self-esteem? Tick the boxes that describe you and ﬁnd out. (a) I am happy. (c) I am nice to others. (e) I look after myself.

Yes

(b) I always have a go. (d) I am a good friend. (f) I enjoy what I do.

Yes

2. (a) How many ‘Yes’ answers do you have?

good

okay

poor

Sometimes, things happen which can make us feel disliked or unhappy about who we are. The way we behave when we have a bad day can make a big difference.

3. What would you do? Imagine your friends won’t play with you. Read the cartoons and ﬁnd out what Bella did when her friends didn’t want to play with her. Write how she would feel about herself in each situation.

‘That’s okay. If you want me, I’ll be down on the swings.’ ‘I don’t want to play with you anyway.’

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Self-esteem

Leave me alone!

Teachers notes

Bullying and harassment Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands the difference between joking and teasing. • Understands that teasing which happens repeatedly is harassment. • Recognises the characteristics of bullying and understands that bullying is unacceptable. • Identiﬁes an appropriate course of action if being bullied or harassed.

Allow the students to describe what they understand by ‘bullying’. Discuss why bullying is unacceptable and must be stopped. Have the students imagine what might happen to a person emotionally and physically if he/she was subjected to continual bullying.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss what is happening in the cartoon and how Billy feels about it. Discuss why Dizzy and Dolly would treat Billy in this way. Does Billy deserve to be treated this way? Will Dizzy and Dolly become more popular for treating Billy poorly? Discuss the types of people who might start bullying someone. Investigate whether there is ever a time when teasing and bullying someone is okay. 2. Read the text discussing the difference between teasing and joking. 3. Discuss the kinds of things that might be said which would be considered joking. After each example, take time to work out whether anyone could be hurt by the comment suggested to encourage the students to adopt the habit of thinking before they speak. Have the students use examples from the discussion to ﬁll in the speech bubbles in Question 1, differentiating between joking and teasing. 4. Introduce the term ‘harassment’ and explain that this term implies a serious teasing problem which won’t stop. Read the text explaining that students who are being bullied or harassed must seek help. 5. Have the students imagine they are in a situation where they are being bullied or harassed. Attempt to describe the situation in detail, including the kinds of threats they might receive. Discuss why someone being bullied or harassed might feel like he/she can’t seek help. Have the students reﬂect upon this and answer Question 2 (a) and (b). 6. Encourage the students to identify a responsible person or people they could go to if they were in a situation such as this. Have them write their nominated person or people to complete 2 (c).

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Review the school’s behaviour management strategy with the students, highlighting how bullying and harassment will be dealt with in the school. Explain to the students they have a responsibility to disclose information about bullying and harassment to ensure the school remains a safe environment for its students.

Answers

Activity links Hurt feelings..................................................pp 46–47 Fighting .........................................................pp 110–111 Why do people tease? ...................................pp 116–117 When it’s okay to ‘dob’ .................................pp 120–121

Bullying and harassment may not necessarily occur on school grounds. Many cases occur after school, in the home or even at the hands of extended relatives. Be aware that bullying and harassment take a variety of forms in these situations and may be carefully calculated to protect the perpetrator. Be prepared for the possibility of students disclosing sensitive information about experiences with bullying or harassment and the potentially volatile nature of such information. All disclosures should be taken seriously and be directed through the appropriate channels, as outlined in the school’s discipline policy or child protection policy.

Self-esteem

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Leave me alone! Buy me lollies … or else …

Boo hoo, little chicken!

Dizzy and Dolly tease me every day and try to scare me into doing things I don’t want to do. I’m SICK OF IT! There is a difference between joking and teasing. Joking between friends can make us feel like we are part of the group. BUT any teasing that makes us feel bad or uncomfortable has to stop.

1. Fill in the speech bubbles to show the difference between joking and teasing.

Joking

Teasing

called harassment. When someone tries to make you do things you don’t want to do it is called bullying. You have to tell someone and get help if you are being bullied or harassed.

not telling anyone about them. Don’t listen to them. They know they are wrong and don’t want to get caught!

2. (a) Why might someone who is being harassed or bullied not want to get help?

(b) Why must that person be brave and get help anyway?

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Self-esteem

I can’t play today

Teachers notes

Being unable to join in Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands how it can feel to be left out or unable to join in. • Appreciates there are different reasons why a person may be unable to join in. • Understands that people who care for us have good reasons for not allowing us to join in certain activities.

Ask the students whether they have ever been unable to join in an activity because they were not allowed to. Discuss why they were not allowed, how it felt to be left out and whether they felt fairly treated. Brainstorm to list reasons why a person may be unable to join in with friends. Review the importance of staying at home when we are sick so we do not pass on the illness to others.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss what is happening in the cartoon and possible reasons why Bella says she can not join in. 2. Read the text about how being unable to join in can make the students feel. Refer to some of the students’ experiences as discussed in the pre-lesson focus discussion. 3. Deduce possible reasons why Bella may be unable to join in with her friends in the cartoon. Have the students write their suggestions to answer Question 1. 4. Read the text that follows about not being allowed to join in. Discuss how not being allowed to join in with friends makes the students feel. Think about the possible ways Bella could handle the situation she is in. Weigh up the beneﬁts of and problems with each of the possibilities. 5. Read Question 2 (a) – (c) and allow the students time to deduce answers for each. 6. Explain to the students there are good reasons why the people who look after us don’t allow us to do certain things. Refer to Bella’s situation and suggest what might happen to Bella if she were to disobey her mother and join in with her friends. Allow the students to write their responses to complete Question 2 (d).

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Have the students write short plays which involve a child not doing as he/she was asked and getting into trouble. Allow the students to act out their plays, or use puppets to tell their stories. Encourage the students to ﬁnish their plays with a ‘moral to the story’ which highlights the importance of following rules.

Answers

Activity links Should I or shouldn’t I? .................................pp 8–9 Why misbehaving doesn’t work ....................pp 40–41 How to say ‘no’ .............................................pp 68–69 Following the right leader .............................pp 70–71

Students need to be aware that, although they make decisions for themselves and their behaviour, the adults who care for them are also responsible for their wellbeing and, therefore, their decisions about what is ‘allowed’ need to be respected.

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I can’t play today Come on in, Bella, the water is great! I’d love to but I can’t.

Nobody likes missing out on the fun. Being unable to do things or not being allowed to join in can leave us feeling frustrated and lonely.

1. Bella can’t go swimming. What might be some of the reasons for that?

2. (a) How do you think Bella feels about not being allowed to go swimming?

(b) What do you think Bella should do?

The people who look after us always have good reasons for not allowing us to do things.

(d) What might happen to Bella if she does go swimming?

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Self-esteem

No-one likes me

Teachers notes

Keeping a positive outlook Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands that believing that others don’t like him/her can cause him/her to lose confidence and be unhappy. • Understands there are things he/she can do to positively influence his/her ability to make friends. • Compares some positive and negative behaviours which influence his/her ability to make friends.

Brainstorm to list things people do that can make someone feel as though nobody likes them; for example, ignoring someone, talking behind his/her back, teasing. Have the students share how being treated like that might make someone feel. Discuss what is meant by the sayings ‘going downhill’ and being ‘back on top’ of things. For example, talk about how going downhill implies that a situation can get worse and that getting back on top suggests the actions of someone with courage and determination taking charge of things.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss why the kid in the cartoon can’t be bothered to do anything. How must he be feeling to think that nothing is worth the effort? Discuss the difference between being tired and lazy and being sad and despondent. Have the students suggest whether they think the kid in the cartoon is tired or sad. 2. Read the text describing how the way you think about yourself affects the way you feel. Ask the students what they think the kid in the cartoon thinks of himself and what they feel he could do to improve his situation. 3. Direct the students to the diagram depicting a downhill slope and a recovery to being back on top. Review earlier discussions about what these phrases mean. Read the sentences and phrases in the boxes at the bottom of the page and suggest that some are positive actions which can help us get back on top while others are negative and can lead us downhill. Discuss in particular how thinking about others and their feelings could help someone get back on top. 4. Allow the students time to cut out each of the boxes and glue them to the appropriate side of the diagram to complete the activity.

Follow-up suggestions Provide a box of equipment and games as a resource for lonely students at recess. Look at each of the items in the box as a whole class and discuss how they could be used to start a game with others and establish new friendships. Encourage students who have difﬁculty establishing friendships to join in organised lunchtime activities such as a choir or a gardening club.

Answers

Activity links Being my best ...............................................pp 20–21 What I think of me ........................................pp 32–33 What people like about me ...........................pp 36–37 Keeping feelings under control......................pp 44–45 Why won’t you play with me?.......................pp 72–73 Get involved! ................................................pp 98–99 Why do people tease? ...................................pp 116–117 Don’t talk behind my back ............................pp 118–119

Students who have poor self-esteem will inevitably have difﬁculty making and keeping friends. Equipping students with possible alternatives to occupy themselves when in situations where they feel rejected will ease any embarrassment or loneliness they may be experiencing, while diffusing problems which are the cause of or may result from the situation.

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No-one likes me

I can’t be bothered doing anything or talking to anyone. No-one likes me anyway.

The way you think about yourself affects the way you feel. If you really think other people don’t like you, talk to a trusted adult like a parent or teacher. They will try to help you feel more conﬁdent about making friends.

When everything seems to be going wrong, you can feel like you’re going ‘downhill’. But there are things you can do to get ‘back on top of things’. Cut out and sort the boxes below. Glue them onto the ‘downhill’ or the ‘back on top’ side of the diagram. Downhill

Back on top

You talk to a trusted adult You think people don’t like about how you are feeling. you.

You have a go at something new.

You feel lonely.

You ask someone over to play with you.

You can’t be bothered talking to anyone.

You think about other people and their feelings.

You feel really sad.

You write letters to relatives or penfriends.

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Self-esteem

Letters for lonely days

Teachers notes

Dealing with loneliness Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands that everyone experiences loneliness. • Identiﬁes strategies for coping on lonely days. • Writes a letter with a view to easing personal loneliness.

Have the students describe how it feels to be lonely and let them suggest situations when they have felt lonely. Discuss whether it is possible to feel lonely when they are in a crowd of people. Encourage the students to imagine they are stuck on a deserted island and have been lonely for a long time. What would they do to amuse themselves?

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss why Bella might choose letter writing to help her feel less lonely. What is different about writing a letter from doing other activities on your own? How is it more social? 2. Read the text describing the beneﬁts of letter writing when the students are lonely. 3. Direct the students to the plan for a ‘lonely day letter’. Read through each of the prompts in the letter framework and discuss the type of information which would be appropriate for each. 4. Have the students nominate a recipient for their letter and then allow them time to write, in note form, the information they would include in a ‘lonely day letter’. 5. Review and model the format of a letter for the students. Provide special paper for the students to write a ﬁnished letter from the notes in their draft framework to complete the task.

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Encourage the students to post their letters to the appropriate person and address an envelope for it correctly. Provide a class letterbox for students to write letters to one another, following the same framework. Have the students write stories about being lost in a crowd and feeling lost and lonely.

Answers

Activity links No-one likes me ............................................pp 54–55 Alone at last! ................................................pp 60–61 Why won’t you play with me?.......................pp 72–73 Get involved! ................................................pp 98–99

Extended periods of loneliness can induce or reﬂect poor self-esteem, making it increasingly difﬁcult for students to change their situation. Students suffering from long-term loneliness can be provided with strategies for establishing new friendships in non-threatening ways and should be closely monitored to ensure their safety.

Self-esteem

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Letters for lonely days When I feel lonely, I write a letter to my penfriend, Nelly. She lives in the mountains a long way away. Writing letters can be a great way to feel better on lonely days. Instead of talking face to face, you can write a conversation! You could write to a penfriend like Bella does, or write to a relative (aunty, uncle, cousin, grandparent) whom you haven’t seen for a while. You never know—he or she might send a letter back to you!

1. Write a plan for a ‘lonely day letter’ using the outline below to guide you. Who are you writing to? How will you greet him/her? What will you ask about? (You need to What will you tell him/her about you? include some questions for him/her to Health: answer.)

What you’re interested in:

How will you ﬁnish the letter?

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Self-esteem

I need help!

Teachers notes

Seeking help Indicators

Pre-lesson focus discussion

• Understands that when he/she is in an unsafe situation that can not be controlled, he/she needs to seek help. • Demonstrates a willingness to seek help in threatening situations.

Encourage the students to discuss ‘bad things’ they have seen or read in the media. Discuss why bad things happen and what they can do to protect themselves from getting into these kinds of situations. Stress that sometimes bad things can happen to good people who are careful because they can not control everything around them. Review ‘stranger danger’ with the students and allow them to describe the types of ‘tricks’ a bad stranger might use.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Have the students suggest what might be happening to the kid in the cartoon that he is scared of. 2. Read the text about ‘bad things’ and what to do if they are happening. Discuss how it might feel to be too scared to tell someone about a bad thing that is happening. Review the threatening strategies used by bullies to protect themselves and allow them to continue bullying. 3. Direct the students to the cloze passage in Question 1. Read the passage together and decide which words from the cloud would be the most appropriate for each ‘blank’. 4. Allow the students time to complete the task independently and review the passage. 5. Direct the students to the puzzle at the bottom of the page and have them highlight the words from the clouds.

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Review other personal safety issues relevant to students at the school; for example, road safety.

Though students should not walk away from this lesson terriﬁed about the possibilities of living in an unpredictable world, they should have developed a healthy respect and renewed enthusiasm for maintaining personal safety. Be prepared for the possibility of students disclosing sensitive information. All such disclosures must be taken seriously and go through the appropriate channels as outlined in the school’s child protection policy.

Answers

Activity links Should I or shouldn’t I? .................................pp 8–9 How to say ‘no’ .............................................pp 68–69 Who do you look up to? ................................pp 100–101 When it’s okay to ‘dob’ .................................pp 120–121

1. (a) bad (e) Don’t (i) help 2. s

a r

Self-esteem

(b) you (f) brave (j) safe.

v e

(d) wrong (h) scared

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l y

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I need help! Has something bad ever happened to you?

I’m scared of bad Perhaps there are people at school or at things happening to home picking on you. me again. How can I Perhaps someone is making you do things you make them stop?

don’t want to do. When you don’t feel like you are in control, you can feel scared and lonely. Even if there is nothing bad happening to you, you still need to have a plan for what to do—just in case it does.

trust

you

feel

bad Don’t

wrong

help

brave

safe

scared

1. Use the words in the clouds to complete a plan of what you can do if something bad happens to you.

(b)

(c)

.(d) (e)

let the bad thing keep happening. (f)

and tell an adult you

you are

(h)

(g)

and need

that

. That person

(i)

will look after you and keep you

(j)

2. Highlight the words from the clouds in the puzzle below. s c a r e d a

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h e w r o n g

Self-esteem

b r a v e l p

s a f e

Alone at last!

Teachers notes

Being alone and happy Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands that being alone is different from feeling lonely. • Appreciates that being alone can be enjoyable • Identiﬁes activities that are best enjoyed alone.

Have the students lie down in their own space and relax, not touching anyone else. Select different students to describe a peaceful, quiet place where they are completely on their own. Encourage the students to use a soothing voice and try to make the description as pleasant and relaxing an experience as possible. When ﬁnished, ask the students to sit up and share how ‘escaping’ to the quiet places made them feel. Discuss other places the students could go to be alone. Consider the types of things they could do there on their own that they couldn’t do or enjoy if surrounded by other people.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the kids in the cartoons at the top of the student activity page. Discuss what is happening in each cartoon and allow the students to share their appreciation of doing the same or similar activities independently. 2. Read the text explaining that being alone is not the same as being lonely. Discuss what it feels like to be lonely and compare these feelings to those discussed during the pre-lesson discussion. 3. Allow the students to brainstorm, independently, to list things they can do on their own to answer Question 1 (a). Encourage the students to then share their ideas with the class and add to their list if they wish. 4. Discuss the types of things that can be done on their own or with others; for example, watching television or playing computer games. 5. Have the students circle the activities in their list that can only be done on their own to answer 1 (b) and then to select from these a favourite to do when alone, to complete 1 (c). 6. Encourage the students to share how they feel when they are doing their favourite ‘alone’ activity. Have them write their response and draw a picture of themselves doing their favourite alone activity to complete parts (d) and (e).

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Reinforce the idea of being happiest alone during certain activities, such as independent reading. Have the students write descriptions of their own relaxing, ‘happy place’, without stating where it is. Title the descriptions ‘Where am I?’ and challenge the other students in the class to deduce each student’s secret ‘happy place’.

Answers

Activity links What I think of me ........................................pp 32–33 Keeping feelings under control......................pp 44–45 I can’t play today ..........................................pp 52–53 Letters for lonely days ...................................pp 56–57

While this activity promotes the idea of being content with our own company, it should be recognised that this applies in certain situations only and that having friends and interacting with others is critical to personal development and mental wellbeing. Students should be encouraged not to use being happy alone as an excuse for not joining in shared activities.

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Alone at last! Being alone doesn’t have to mean you are lonely. In fact, some of our happiest times can be spent on our own.

1. (a) Brainstorm to write a list of things you can do on your own. (b) Put a circle around the things you wrote that you can’t do with other people. (c) What is your favourite thing to do when you are alone? (d) How does doing your © R. I . C.Publ i ca t i ons‘alone’ activity favourite make you feel? •f orr evi ew pur posesonl y•

(e) Draw a picture of yourself doing your favourite ‘alone’ activity.

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Self-esteem

Different types of friends

Teachers notes

Friends Indicators

Pre-lesson focus discussion

• Understands that he/she has different types of friendships with different people. • Deﬁnes existing friendships as ‘close’, ‘everyday’ or ‘acquaintances’.

Discuss what makes someone a friend. Ask the students whether all their friendships are equally close and how they might describe the different levels of friendship that they have. Introduce the term ‘acquaintance’ and discuss who they would describe as acquaintances.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss what is happening and whether or not the kids pictured are close friends. 2. Read the text outlining the different levels of friendship people hold with others. Discuss why we may form different friendships with different people. 3. Direct the students to the ‘friends’ pyramid at the bottom of the page. Review the types of friendship each section of the pyramid represents. Allow the students to write the names of all the friends and acquaintances they can think of into the appropriate category on the pyramid to answer Question 1. They can then list some activities they like to do with each group to answer Question 2.

Follow up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Have the students write the names of all the friends they can think of (they can use the pyramid as a reference) onto strips of paper. Form each of the friend’s strips into a circle and link them to form a chain of friends. The students can consider which friends are closest to them and put them closest to their own name, then progressively add links to demonstrate the difference between close friends and distant friends or acquaintances.

Ideally, students will want their level of friendship with others to be reciprocated. Make the students aware this is not always the case and that they can not control the level of friendship others choose to have with them. In addition, the students should understand that having many close friends does not necessarily indicate that they are friendlier than others; it is simply an extension of personality type. Some people prefer to maintain only one or two close friends, while others prefer many.

Answers

Activity links Rules for best friends ....................................pp 64–65 Fitting in ........................................................pp 66–67 How to say ‘no’ .............................................pp 68–69 Why won’t you play with me?.......................pp 72–73

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Different types of friends Pleased to make your acquaintance.

It’s nice to meet you too!

We make different relationships with different people. Because everyone is so different, the friendships we make are different too. We can become really close friends with some people, while simply remaining friendly with others, without spending a lot of time with either of them.

1. Who are your friends? Most people have one or two really close friends, several ‘everyday’ friends and many people they know a little bit and are friendly towards (acquaintances). Write who these people are for you in the ‘friends’ pyramid. 2. List some things you like to do with each group of people in the notepads.

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Self-esteem

Rules for best friends

Teachers notes

Best friends Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands that close, trusting friendships take time to develop. • Recognises that having a best friend also requires being a best friend. • Identiﬁes the special qualities required to have and be a best friend.

Encourage the students to share their experiences of having a best friend. What are the beneﬁts? Is it ever difﬁcult to be a best friend? What makes a best friend different from any other friend? Does having a best friend mean they can not have other friends? Discuss how long it takes to develop a trusting friendship and how they know when they can trust someone.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss why these kids might think their friendship is ‘special’. 2. Read the text about establishing a best friendship. Discuss brieﬂy what the students consider to be some of the special jobs required of them as best friends. 3. Read Question 1 together and brainstorm to list some of the special things the students might do with a best friend that they don’t do with everyday friends. For example, they might take holidays together or play at each other’s houses, share special toys or games, or go on special outings together. Allow the students to write some of the things suggested to complete Question 1. 4. Ask the students whether anyone has ever told them a secret. Discuss why keeping secrets can be very difﬁcult. Think about how they should behave if their best friend trusted them enough to share a secret with them. Have the students write what they would do in this situation if it arose. 5. Direct the students to the photo frame in Question 3 and have them draw a picture of themselves with their best friend inside the frame. If any students do not have a best friend, ask them to imagine what it would be like and to draw themselves with an imaginary best friend or someone they might be best friends with in the future. 6. Read the character traits listed in Question 4. The students can then colour the qualities they need to be someone’s best friend.

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Create an explosion chart using ‘me’ as the central point to describe the many different types of relationships the students may have and develop during their lives. Encourage the students to suggest the people who are important to them, including family members, as a starting point. Have the students make friendship bracelets using thick cotton and plastic beads to give to one another to represent a special relationship.

Answers

Activity links Different types of friends ...............................pp 63–64 Fitting in ........................................................pp 66–67 I forgive you ..................................................pp 80–81

Not everyone develops or desires a best friend. Though these relationships should be viewed as ‘special’, avoid building up this type of friendship as the ‘holy grail’ of friendships. Rather, explain a ‘best friendship’ as one of many valuable relationships the students might create during their life.

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Rules for best friends If we are really lucky, we might meet someone who is just right for being our ‘best friend’. It Our friendship is takes a long time to become best friends (not just a couple special. of days). When we have a best friend, we also have the special job of being a best friend too!

We are best friends.

1. What do you think you might do with a best friend that you don’t do with everyday friends?

2. Sometimes, best friends share secrets with one another. What would you do if your best friend told you a secret?

3. Draw a picture of yourself with a best friend.

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to be someone’s best friend.

trustworthy

boring

honest

troublemaker

caring

tale-teller

bully

careless

fun

good listener

bossy

kind

thoughtful

mean

generous

happy

teaser

fair

Self-esteem

Fitting in

Teachers notes

Making good friendship decisions Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands that different friendship groups have identifying traits. • Determines when a change to ‘ﬁt in’ with a group is a good or a poor decision. • Understands that he/she has a responsibility to make good choices about who he/she chooses to make friends with.

Describe to the students an imaginary person who has a really ‘cool’ group of friends that he/she plays with every day. Show the students identifying items such as a game he/she plays, a type of cap, or particular style of clothes, and discuss the kinds of things his/her friends are ‘into’ such as music or sport. Explain that this person loves being in the group and all his/her friends are great. Ask the students whether they would like to meet the group. Discuss how they would behave when around people like this and what they could do to become one of the group if they wanted to.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss what the identifying features of this group are. 2. Read the text about people’s need to ‘fit in’ with others. Discuss whether the students feel it is possible to make changes to themselves without changing who they are. Review why it is so important to be themselves when making new friends. 3. Ask the students to reflect upon their own friendship group or groups. What are the people like in these groups? Encourage the students to share their experiences of being in a group with the class, discussing why it can be a positive experience. Allow the students to write about their own experiences by completing Questions 1 and 2. 4. Read the text that follows. Discuss why it is important to be able to fit in with different groups. Have the students suggest situations where it might be necessary to fit in with a group. 5. Introduce the idea of making the wrong type of friends and becoming involved with a group that is not going to help them be their best. Encourage the students to suggest the types of groups which may not be beneficial to them, the types of activities this group might be involved in and how these could affect their image through association. 6. Discuss what signs there might be that a group of friends is not ‘good for us’. Use information from this discussion to answer Question 3 (a). 7. Direct the students to the picture at the bottom of the page. Discuss what they imagine this group of kids might be like and why they have this opinion of them without even talking to them. Review the importance of image in portraying a true representation of who we are. Discuss what a person might have to do to ‘fit in’ with a group like this. Allow the students to write their ideas to complete Question 3 (b) and (c).

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Have the students design their ultimate group of friends. They can draw the group, label any distinguishing features and add a description of the kinds of interests and traits representative of the group.

Activity links Different types of friends ...............................pp 62–63 How to say ‘no’ .............................................pp 68–69 Following the right leader .............................pp 70–71 Being different ..............................................pp 82–83 Make up your own mind ...............................pp 84–85

Self-esteem

Students need to be made aware that although it is not appropriate to judge others and base our friendship choices entirely upon first impressions, the image portrayed by a group to which they belong will be associated with them also. Ensure the students understand that the choices they make in regard to friendship groups can have a positive or negative impact on their own image. Students who do not feel they are part of a friendship group may find it difficult to answer Questions 1 and 2. They could be asked to imagine the type of group they would like to be part of.

Answers Answers will vary

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Fitting in I like your dress, Bella.

I like yours too! He, he, he, he! Everyone likes to feel like We have great taste!

1. Are you in a special group of friends? 2. (a) What are your friends like?

they ‘ﬁt in’. We can make small changes when we are friendly with a group of people to feel like we are part of the group—just so long as we don’t forget to be ourselves as well!

Yes

No (b) What are they interested in?

Being able to change ourselves in small ways to ﬁt in is an important skill which we use our whole life with friends, workmates and family. It is an important part of getting along with others. BUT if you are making friends with the wrong people, you might feel like you need to make changes you don’t like.

3. (a) How do you know when something you are doing to ﬁt in is a bad decision?

(b) Look at the group of friends below. What do you think you would have to do to ﬁt in with them?

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Self-esteem

How to say ‘no’

Teachers notes

Negative peer group pressure Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands that his/her friends can place pressure on him/her to behave in a certain way. • Understands what is meant by the term ‘peer group pressure’. • Suggests appropriate responses to negative peer group pressure.

Ask one of the students to do something that is clearly ‘wrong’, such as tipping the rubbish out of the wastepaper bin or throwing someone’s ruler out a window. Before the student follows complies with the request, ask him/her to stop and assess what he/she is about to do. Encourage the other students in the class to help the student determine whether or not it would be a good decision to do what was asked. Ask the student how the other students’ comments affected his/her actions. Would it have been easy to resist the pressure of the class? Allow several students to offer their suggestions.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Introduce the term ‘peer group pressure’ and have the students attempt to describe what it is in their own words. Encourage the students to share experiences when they have felt like they were under pressure from their peers. Students write a brief description outlining their understanding of what peer group pressure is to answer Questions 1 and 2. 2. Read the text about different kinds of peer group pressure. Encourage the students to think about some of the positive ways they might inﬂuence their peers. Refer back to the pre-lesson discussion and have the students determine whether the student nominated was under positive or negative peer group pressure. 3. Have the students share experiences or stories about negative peer group pressure and how someone was pressured to do the wrong thing. Discuss the consequences of each incident. The students can then use ideas from this discussion to complete Question 3. 4. Direct the students to the cartoon at the bottom of the page. Describe what is happening and ask the students to suggest what the peers might be saying to persuade Billy to do the wrong thing. They can then write their ideas in the speech bubbles to complete Question 4. 5. Challenge the students to think about what they would say or do if they were in this situation. Would it be difﬁcult to say no? How might their peers respond if they said ‘no’? Have the students think of a possible response they could give in this situation to avoid doing the wrong thing to complete Question 5.

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Begin a ‘Say no’ campaign against inappropriate behaviours. Have the students make signs or placards reﬂecting these sentiments; for example, ‘Say no to grafﬁti’, ‘Say no to smoking’, or ‘Say no to bullying’.

Answers

Activity links Should I or shouldn’t I? .................................pp 8–9 Who is watching you? ...................................pp 14–15 Smoking ........................................................pp 26–27 Why misbehaving doesn’t work ....................pp 40–41 I need help! ...................................................pp 58–59 Following the right leader .............................pp 70–71 When it’s okay to ‘dob’ .................................pp 120–121

There is a ﬁne line between negative peer pressure and bullying. Students need to be aware that negative peer pressure that makes them feel unsafe should be handled by removing themselves from the situation as soon as possible and reporting the incident. Students should understand that by protecting peers who are involved in inappropriate behaviours, they may ultimately incriminate themselves through association with the group.

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How to say ‘no’ 1. Have you ever heard of peer group pressure? Yes

2. Write what you think peer group pressure is.

There are different kinds of peer group pressure. Some is good and can encourage you to be a good person and achieve your goals. But some is not good and can make you feel like you have to do things you know are wrong.

3. (a) Have you ever heard of someone being ‘talked into’ doing the wrong thing by his or her friends?

Yes

(b) If yes, what happened?

4. Look at the cartoon below. Fill in the speech bubbles to show the types of things the kid might say to Billy to talk him into doing the wrong thing.

Saying ‘no’ to your friends can be very hard to do.

5. Write how you would say ‘no’ if you were Billy.

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Self-esteem

Following the right leader

Teachers notes

Positive peer group pressure Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Recognises that he/she sometimes needs to do the opposite to his/her friends in order to do the right thing. • Demonstrates a willingness to be a positive role model for others. • Understands how the positive behaviours of others can inﬂuence him/her to behave in a positive way also.

Ask the students whether anyone has ever asked them whether they would ‘jump off a cliff if their friends did’. Ask the students to describe what is being demonstrated by this analogy. Would they really jump off a cliff? Would they be able to make their own decision to save themselves? Play a simple game such as ‘Simon says’ where the students need to follow the crowd but think for themselves at the same time in order to survive and stay in the game.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page and review the analogy of jumping off a cliff to demonstrate the necessity of the students making their own decisions. 2. Read the text and discuss how it could be possible to turn a situation around by becoming a leader for their peers. Use the jumping off a cliff scenario to demonstrate how a leader could save others by giving better advice on how to behave. 3. Read Question 1 (a) and allow the students to indicate whether or not they would find it easy to be a leader and show their friends how to behave more appropriately. 4. Explain that the students do not need to tell other people how to behave in order to be a leader; they can simply behave appropriately ourselves and be a role model for others. Encourage the students to suggest how they could be a role model for their peers and write their suggestions to answer 1 (b) and (c). 5. Direct the students to Question 2 and brainstorm to list positive ways they can be influenced by their peers and how they can influence them. 6. Have the students think about their own friends and the way they affect their own behaviour. They can then determine independently whether or not they feel their friends are a positive influence upon them and help them to be the best person they can be to answer Question 3.

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Create a display titled ‘(class name) - join the winning team’. Have each student draw a self-portrait and add a speech bubble stating how he/she is a positive role model for others. Cut out the portraits and speech bubbles and make a collage of them on the classroom door for the students to view.

Answers

Activity links Who is watching you? ...................................pp 14–15 Fitting in ........................................................pp 66–67 How to say ‘no’ .............................................pp 68–69 Showing off ...................................................pp 94–95

Ensure the students don’t equate positive behaviour with showing off or trying to impress the teacher. Being a positive role model is indicative of and conducive to good self-esteem but not superiority over others.

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Following the right leader Aaaahhhh!

It doesn’t always pay to follow the group. Sometimes you have to stand up and be a leader who shows the rest of the group a better way to go!

1. (a) Do you think it would be easy to show your friends the right thing to do?

Yes

Sometimes

(b) How could you be a good role model for your friends?

2. (a) List some positive ways your friends inﬂuence you.

(b) Write how you are a positive inﬂuence on your friends.

The friends we choose are very important. They can affect the way we live our life. The right kind of friends will let us be ourselves and encourage us to do our best.

3. Do you have the right kind of friends?

Yes

Explain your answer.

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Self-esteem

Why won’t you play with me?

Teachers notes

Strategies for dealing with exclusion Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands that others have the right to choose not to play with him/her. • Respects the decisions made by others regarding their choice of friends. • Develops a plan for times when he/she is excluded from activities with friends.

Ask the students whether they have ever been to a birthday party for one of their friends. Discuss what happened at the party, how it felt to be part of the celebrations and who else was invited. Discuss how it felt to be invited to the party. Have the students consider how they might have felt if all their friends were invited to a party, but they were not. What would they do? Why would they think they had been left out?

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss what is happening in the cartoon and why Bella might think she has done something wrong. 2. Read the text suggesting there are many reasons why someone might be left out of a game. Encourage the students to suggest possible reasons why someone might be left out of a game. Allow the students to suggest personal reasons but direct discussion more towards circumstances which may prevent the inclusion of someone; for example, too many players, not enough equipment, or the game already being started, making their inclusion unfair on the other players. 3. Have the students write three good reasons why someone may have to be left out to complete Question 1. 4. Discuss what the students do when they have been left out or have not been allowed to play with their friends. Suggest that having a plan for what to do in these situations can help them take their minds off what their friends are doing and enjoy themselves as best they can. 5. Direct the students to the circles in Question 2. Read the suggestion in each circle and have the students colour the circles containing things they feel they could do if they have been excluded. The students can then choose the best suggestion to write in the box in the middle to complete Question 2 (b).

Follow-up suggestions Advertise activities happening during play periods such as clubs, library activities or other organised activities the students could join in if they have been ‘left out’. Encourage the students to be on the lookout for students who may be feeling left out and invite them to join in with their own activities.

Activity links

Answers

Hurt feelings..................................................pp 46–47 I can’t play today ..........................................pp 52–53 No-one likes me ............................................pp 54–55 Letters for lonely days ...................................pp 56–57 Alone at last! ................................................pp 60–61 Joining a group .............................................pp 92–93 Get involved! ................................................pp 98–99

Students will be better able to cope with exclusion when they feel they have a plan of ‘what to do’ in such a situation. One of the most upsetting aspects of this kind of rejection is the embarrassment of having no alternative and being left aimless. Equipping students with possible alternatives to occupy themselves in these situations will ease any embarrassment or loneliness the student may be experiencing, while diffusing problems which are the cause of or may result from the situation. Students who are left out on a regular basis will, over time, become more and more despondent and less able to employ the skills needed for making and keeping friends. These students should be closely monitored and provided with support from staff to help them re-enter friendship circles.

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Why won’t you play with me? I wonder if I have done something wrong?

I’m going to play with Nelly today.

Finding out that your friends don’t want to play with you is very upsetting, especially if you had been looking forward to their company. But just because someone won’t play with you doesn’t always mean that person doesn’t like you any more.

1. Look at the cartoon of Bella and Dolly. Think of three good reasons why Dolly might not want to play with Bella today. (a) (b) (c) If you are left without your usual friends to play with, you need to have a plan for what to do. It is no use sitting around feeling sad!

© R . I . C . P u b l i c a t i o n s 2. Read the suggested plans in the circles. •f orr evi ew pur posesonl y• (a) Colour the circles which contain things you could see yourself doing if you couldn’t play with your usual friends. (b) Write your favourite plan in the box in the middle. Find someone else to play with.

Help a younger student by teaching him/ her a new game.

Ask your friends if they are upset with you and talk about it.

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Go and read or use the computers in the library.

My plan

Borrow some equipment you can play with by yourself.

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Make a brand new friend with someone you haven’t spoken to before. Self-esteem

Join someone else’s game.

Ask someone who is alone if he/she wants to play with you.

Using good manners

Teachers notes

Manners Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands that using manners is a sign of respect. • Demonstrates manners in everyday situations.

Nominate a student and politely ask him/her to do something for you, such as cleaning the board or tidying up. Follow this by rudely demanding the student do a task. Invite the students to suggest how they might feel if spoken to in these two contrasting manners. Would they be more or less likely to help in each situation? Why? How does the way we talk to people inﬂuence how they feel about us?

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss the way Dolly is talking to Bella and whether Dolly is being a good friend. Revise the concept of being respectful to others. Identify whether or not Dolly’s behaviour is respectful to Bella and whether or not Dolly’s response is respectful. 2. Read the text about how the way people talk can make others feel. Discuss why it is difﬁcult to be friendly with someone who treats them disrespectfully. 3. Have the students reﬂect upon their own manner and deduce whether they treat others respectfully. They can then indicate their response to complete Question 1. 4. Direct the students to Question 2 where they are required to create a scene where the characters are all talking to each other respectfully and using good manners. 5. Brainstorm to list possible scenarios to demonstrate how the words in the box could be incorporated successfully. The students can then complete the activity independently.

Follow-up suggestions

Be diligent about enforcing the use of manners in class by praising students for remembering to use them.

Activity links

Answers

Who is watching you? ...................................pp 14–15 Compliments .................................................pp 18–19 What message do I send to others? ..............pp 34–35 You’re the greatest! ......................................pp 38–39 Being interested in others .............................pp 86–87 Cooperating in a group .................................pp 96–97 Offering a helping hand ................................pp 104–105 Encouraging my friends.................................pp 106–107 We can work it out ........................................pp 112–113

Refrain from using disciplinary measures to enforce the use of manners. Manners are best taught through example and appreciation of effort. A classroom where manners are encouraged will become a respectful, harmonious environment.

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Using good manners

I told you to go and get Sally. Hurry up, stupid!

I don’t like being your friend when you talk to me like that.

Has anyone ever spoken to you rudely? Maybe they were snappy or bossy? It’s hard to be friends with someone who treats us like this. If we treat people with respect, they will treat us the same way. Being respectful means using good manners.

1. Do you have good manners and treat people with respect?

Yes

2. Draw a scene in the frame where the characters are showing good manners and respect for each other by using the words below. Please

Thank you

Excuse me

You’re welcome

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Self-esteem

Swearing

Teachers notes

Using appropriate language Indicators

Pre-lesson focus discussion

• Understands that some language is offensive and inappropriate. • Understands that the language people choose to use inﬂuences the way others view them.

Ask the students whether they have ever heard adults swearing. Discuss how hearing offensive language can make them feel. Encourage the students to think of reasons why someone might swear and make a list of their reasons. Review the class and school rules about swearing and discuss why these rules are in place. Encourage the students to recall the consequences of using bad language at school. Debate whether these consequences are fair on all students.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss Bella’s opinion of Dizzy’s swearing. Is she impressed by it? Would any of Dizzy’s friends be? What should Dizzy do in the future if he is to be a good role model for his friends? 2. Read the text describing some reasons why people swear. Discuss whether there are any good reasons for swearing and why swearing affects the way others see someone. 3. Ask the students to think about how their image might change if they were to start swearing. Have them write their ideas to answer Question 1 (a). Reﬂect upon having an image like the one they described and determine whether or not this would be an image they could be proud of. Encourage the students to share the reasoning behind their deduction and to write them in the space provided to complete 1 (b). 4. Discuss other types of language other than swearing which are offensive or hurtful to others. Invite the students to share their ideas with the class, being careful not to ‘overstep the mark’ for a classroom situation. 5. Allow the students to use their own ideas and those of their peers to ﬁll in the clouds and complete Question 2.

Follow-up suggestions Challenge the students to monitor their own language use around their peers and to modify it to an acceptable level if required. Remind the students that they are role models for younger students and to discourage younger students from using inappropriate language at school.

Activity links

Answers

Who is watching you? ...................................pp 14–15 What message do I send to others? ..............pp 34–35 Using good manners .....................................pp 74–75

Many students will be exposed to inappropriate language in their home, where such behaviour is considered normal. Students who have been desensitised to bad language in this way will ﬁnd conforming to school standards more challenging. However, other students have the right not to be exposed to such language, thus requiring all students to conform to rules regarding inappropriate language at school.

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Swearing What a loser!

*!&^%!#@!! That’s disgusting, Dizzy! No doubt you will have heard some children and some adults swearing. People may swear to show how ‘tough’ they are, to be smart in front of their friends or because they can’t thing of anything clever to say. Swearing can also simply be a bad habit. If you swear, it can change the way other people see you.

1. (a) How do you think swearing all the time would change your image? What would people think of you?

(b) Is this the kind of image you would like to have?

Swearing is not the only thing that makes us look bad or is hurtful to others.

2. In the clouds, write some other examples of things you have heard people say that make them look bad or are hurtful to others.

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Self-esteem

Learning new things

Teachers notes

Trying hard Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands that some things require greater effort to learn than others. • Appreciates that the effort put into activities affects how much people enjoy them and how they feel about themselves. • Predicts how effort may affect a person’s future success.

Encourage the students to talk about the activities at school they really enjoy. Ask the students whether they try hard at these activities or they find them easy to do. Encourage the students to share things they find difficult to learn. Suggest what it is about these activities that makes them more difficult to learn than others. Do all people find them difficult to learn? Do they try harder at these activities or put in less effort because they are hard?

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss why Billy might be receiving an award. What do they think Billy might be very good at? Stress that everyone has something they are good at. 2. Read the text suggesting that some activities are harder to learn than others. Allow the students to reflect upon what they think their own strengths are and share them with the class if they wish. 3. Direct the students to the table and have them write the things they find easy to learn in the first column and the things they find more difficult to learn in the second column to complete Question 1. 4. Discuss why they need to try in order to learn new things. Explore what might happen if they did not try hard to learn new things or achieve. Ask the students to predict what they think would happen if they never tried hard at anything and write their ideas for Question 2. 5. Read the text which follows stating that the things we learn at school are specially chosen to help us in later life. Point out the different subject areas and concepts they have been learning at school and have them suggest how these new things will be helpful to them when they are adults. 6. Challenge the students to decide what they think will be the most important things they learn at school and to explain their choices when answering Question 3. 7. Encourage the students to reflect upon their own effort at school and give themselves a score out of 10 on the scale in Question 4.

Follow-up suggestions Have the students imagine their dream job for when they are adults. They can draw a picture of themselves doing the job and label it with the knowledge, skills and attitudes they will need to have learnt to achieve this position. Reward students based on their level of effort as well as on their level of success.

Activity links

Answers

What am I good at? ......................................pp 2–3 Have a go! ....................................................pp 6–7 Trying hard and improving ............................pp 10–11 Setting goals .................................................pp 16–17 Being my best ...............................................pp 20–21

Students who appear not to be trying at school may be experiencing difﬁculties emotionally or physically. Be careful to set achievable goals that can be easily rewarding for tentative students. Students who appear not to be trying should not be made an example of to avoid compounding existing issues.

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Learning new things Have you ever noticed that learning new things seems to be easier for some people than it is for others? This is because everyone learns differently and is good at different things. Some people are good at schoolwork while others are good at sport, art, music or ﬁxing things. No matter who we are, we all have to try hard to learn some new things.

1. Write the things you learn easily and the things you have to try really hard to learn in the table. I learn these things easily

I try hard to learn these things

The things we learn at school are specially chosen to help us be successful in life.

3. What do you think are the most important things you need to learn at school?

4. Colour a score out of 10 to show how much effort you put into your schoolwork. 1 R.I.C. Publications®

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10 79

I forgive you

Teachers notes

Forgiving others Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Acknowledges that people are not perfect and will make mistakes. • Understands the importance of saying sorry in order to resolve conﬂict. • Understands the importance of accepting an apology and forgiving others in order to resolve conﬂict.

Ask the students whether they have ever done anything they later regretted. Discuss what is meant by the word ‘regret’. How did it feel to be in a situation like this? Were there other people involved? How did they feel about them because of what happened? How did they attempt to resolve the problem and feel better again? Have the students describe in their own words what an apology is. Discuss why apologies are important when they are in conﬂict with someone.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss brieﬂy what is happening between Dizzy and Billy and direct the students to Question 1 (a) – (c). Allow the students to indicate their views on the behaviour of the kids to complete Question 1. 2. Look at Question 2, reading through each of the ‘tokens’. Brainstorm to list some of the things the students might be sorry about. 3. Discuss the difference between giving an apology and forgiving someone. Debate whether or not forgiving another person is necessary once someone has apologised. Discuss how forgiving someone could make you them feel, and how it would make the person who has apologised feel. Discuss why forgiveness is necessary if a friendship is to continue. 4. Have the students nominate someone to apologise to and to write out their token as required. They can then deliver their apology to the person they have chosen, if he/she is a member of the class. 5. Students who receive an apology token can respond by ﬁlling out and delivering their forgiveness token. Allow the students to keep their forgiveness tokens in their desk if they did not receive an apology from anyone, ready to complete at a later date if required.

Follow-up suggestions Read books exploring conflicts which need to be resolved. Review the school policy for conflict resolution and discuss the way a peer can act as a mediator to help others resolve their conflicts and resume their friendships respectfully.

Activity links

Answers

How to say ‘no’ .............................................pp 68–69 Using good manners .....................................pp 74–75 Telling tales ...................................................pp 90–91 We can work it out ........................................pp 112–113

Saying ‘sorry’ is often not easy to do, particularly when the person is angry, hurt or upset. Similarly, being able to forgive someone will become increasingly more difﬁcult to do when he/she is left to deal with some kind of loss or emotional pain. While many school-based scenarios can be dealt with relatively easily by encouraging the students to be genuine in saying ‘sorry’ and offering forgiveness, more serious cases may require considerable time for those involved to cool down, discuss what has happened, and consider a range of solutions before ultimately resolving the issue.

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I forgive you

I’m really sorry. Please can we be friends again?

You hurt my feelings. I’m never talking to you again.

1. Look at the cartoon above. (a) Who do you think is doing the right thing? (b) Whose feelings have been hurt?

Billy

Dizzy

Billy

Dizzy

2. Have you done anything to a friend you are sorry about? (If you haven’t, you can make something up.) Use the tokens below to send an apology or to forgive a friend.

Please forgive me and be my friend. Signed

To I forgive you for...

I’m willing to be friends. Signed

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Self-esteem

Being different

Teachers notes

Accepting people as they are Indicators

Pre-lesson focus discussion

• Understands people are all unique. • Understands some of the difﬁculties faced by people with disabilities. • Demonstrates acceptance of others despite their differences.

Encourage the students to share experiences they have had with people who are different due to a disability. Discuss whether these people have the same feelings and emotions as other people. Brainstorm to list ways people can be different, ranging from hair colour to different talents and personalities, abilities and disabilities. Have the students identify ways in which they are different and unique from everyone else in their class.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss what is being said by Billy and how the kid with purple spots might be feelings as a result of Billy’s comments. Discuss whether or not he should have mentioned the purple spots and why. 2. Read the text discussing some different kinds of disabilities. Allow the students to suggest people they know who are in the situations described. 3. Ask the students to imagine they are in a wheelchair, then draw themselves in the wheelchair in Question 1 (a). 4. Discuss the kinds of things that would be difﬁcult or impossible to do if conﬁned to a wheelchair; for example, what games could they play? The students can then write some of their ideas into the space in 1 (b). 5. Read 1 (c ) – (d) and allow the students to write their responses. 6. Review from the pre-lesson discussion the list of ways people can be different. Ask the students whether there was any difference they would have trouble accepting in order to be someone’s friend. Encourage the students to consider the feelings of a person who was different in this way before making a decision. 7. Students can add ways people can be different from each other to complete Question 2.

Follow-up suggestions Invite a person with a disability to come to the class and talk about how his/her life is different as a result of the disability. Write stories based on ‘A day in the life of …’ someone with a disability. Have the students include the activities they participate in, the difﬁculties they face and to consider the way they might be treated by their friends and other people.

Activity links

Answers

What I think of me ........................................pp 32–33 I can’t play today ..........................................pp 52–53 No-one likes me ............................................pp 54–55 Make up your own mind ...............................pp 84–85 My friends .....................................................pp 106–107

Refrain from using students in the class as an example of what is ‘different’, particularly differences relating to race, religion or disabilities. For class-based discussions, focus on creating a sense of ‘belonging to the class’ or the same community to demonstrate sameness. Ensure the students are aware of the feelings all people share about being accepted or left out as a means of promoting equal acceptance of all students.

Self-esteem

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Being different Yes, but I’m still just a kid like you.

Wow! You have purple spots all over you.

Do you know anyone with a disability? Some people are born with special conditions which leave them looking or behaving differently. Others have diseases or have accidents which change the way they look or behave.

1. Imagine you have a disability which means you have to use a wheelchair. (b) What kinds of games could you play if you were in a wheelchair?

(a) Draw yourself in the wheelchair.

Yes

(ii) Why/Why not?

(d) (i) How would you expect others to treat you?

(ii) How would you want them to treat you?

People can be different from each other in the way they look or act.

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Self-esteem

Make up your own mind

Teachers notes

Prejudicing others Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands that spreading rumours about others is hurtful and mean. • Recognises the need to make up his/her own mind about other people regardless of what he/she may have been told. • Considers appropriate action that could be taken if he/she hears, or is the subject of, an unkind rumour.

Play ‘Chinese whispers’, where the students sit in a circle and pass a secret from one person to the next by whispering quietly into the next person’s ear. Compare the message at the beginning of the circle to how it has changed by the end. Discuss how a secret can change considerably by the time it has been told and passed on to a number of people. Ask the students to think about whether everything they hear from other people is true and how they should treat information about other people.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss what is happening and what kind of information Dolly might be passing on to someone else if she needs to whisper. Discuss whether what Dolly is doing is okay. 2. Read the text about spreading stories about others. Ask the students whether they think what Dolly is doing is okay now that they know what she is saying. What should Bella’s friends think of what Dolly is saying? 3. Direct the students to Question 1 and allow them to write how Dolly’s actions might have made each of the characters feel. 4. Read the text which follows and discuss why it doesn’t matter whether the information being passed on is true or not. Discuss how telling stories about others causes trouble. Encourage the students to be speciﬁc about the kinds of trouble which could result from telling unkind stories. 5. Read Question 2 and allow the students to answer each part independently. Give the students the opportunity to share their ideas about how to support someone who is being treated in this way.

Follow-up suggestions Have the students write an acrostic poem using the letters in the word ‘gossip’ or ‘tale-teller’. Review situations when it is appropriate to seek the help of a teacher. Assess how telling tales to get others into trouble is destructive to friendships and reﬂects poorly upon the teller as well as the person in ‘trouble’.

Activity links

Answers

Hurt feelings..................................................pp 46–47 Leave me alone!............................................pp 50–51 No-one likes me ............................................pp 54–55 Fitting in ........................................................pp 66–67 What and when to share ...............................pp 88–89 Telling tales ...................................................pp 90–91 Giving everyone a fair go ..............................pp 114–115 Don’t talk behind my back ............................pp 118–119

Spreading rumours is a subtle but effective form of harassment used widely by students to help themselves assert authority over others. Though a natural pecking order will develop among students, the use of spreading rumours to do so needs to be exposed as highly inappropriate and treated with the same seriousness as other more obvious forms of bullying and harassment.

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Make up your own mind Have you ever heard people spreading stories about someone? Maybe you were that someone! Maybe you were the person spreading the stories. Dolly is telling stories about Bella which make her look bad. Now Bella’s friends aren’t sure if they want to play with her anymore.

1. How do you think this situation might make these kids feel?

Bella © R. I . C.Pub l i cat i onsBella’s friends It doesn’t matter whether the story isr true or s not—saying unkind things about • f o r r e v i e w p u p o e s o n l y • people is mean and causes trouble. Storytellers and gossipers are troublemakers. Dolly

2. (a) What do you do when you hear a story about someone? believe it

tell someone who doesn’t know

listen and keep it to yourself

(b) What could you do to help the person who is being hurt by the story?

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listen but make up your own mind if it is true

Self-esteem

Being interested in others

Teachers notes

Listening Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands that listening to others lets them know he/she is interested in them. • Recognises the characteristics of an active listener, including facial expressions, body language and verbal responses. • Demonstrates attentive listening skills.

Ask the students about their day and role-play poor listening skills by pretending not to listen to what they are saying. Ask the students to share how it made them feel when they weren’t really being heard. Demonstrate good listening skills to the students and have them analyse what good listening involves, including facial expression, body language and verbal responses.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Ask the students whether they think Billy is listening to his mother. Encourage the students to think about how Billy’s poor listening is making his mother feel. Discuss what Billy could do to become a better listener. 2. Read the text about the importance of being a good listener when making and maintaining friendships. Discuss how being a good listener also means asking questions to clarify information and demonstrate interest in the other person. 3. Have the students draw and label a picture of what a good listener looks like. Encourage the students to use labels referring to body language, facial expression and verbal responses and questions. 4. Read the text that follows and review the importance of facial expressions, body language and verbal responses. Allow the students to revise and amend their diagrams from Question 1 if necessary. 5. Direct the students to the six conversation starters at the bottom of the page. Form the students into pairs and have them role-play good listening skills with their partner, taking turns to be the listener with each conversation topic, to complete Question 2.

Follow-up suggestions

Encourage the use of effective listening skills in the classroom by praising students for seeking clariﬁcation and insisting upon quiet and eye contact before giving instructions. Good listening skills and respect for others can also be consolidated by students when speaking to a group, by patiently waiting for quiet before talking.

Activity links

Answers

What message do I send to others? ..............pp 34–35 Using good manners .....................................pp 74–75

Being a role model for acceptable listening skills is crucial for teachers; on a personal basis with individual students to establish trust, and at a whole-class level to achieve the level of communication required for effective teaching. Take time to listen to students politely and to expect the same in return. Students should be encouraged to understand that even if they are shy or ﬁnd it difﬁcult to interact with others, it is not acceptable for them to be inattentive. All people have a responsibility to the person who is talking to them to listen and respond appropriately.

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Being interested in others

Billy, your dinner is ready!

Yeah, Mum, I’ve had my bath!

A great way to make new friends is to show them you like them by being interested in the things they say. This means asking questions about them and then being a really good listener.

1. What does someone listening look like? Draw and label a picture of a good listener in the box opposite. When we are listening, we can show we are interested by our facial expressions, body language and verbal responses.

2. Role-play being a good listener using facial expressions, body language and verbal responses with a partner. Use these questions to ﬁnd out more about your partner. Add two more to the list.

(a) Tell me about your family.

(b) What is your favourite season? Why do you like it?

(d) What do you do on the school holidays?

(e) What is your favourite thing to do (f) What would you do if you never had to go to school again? outdoors? Why? (g)

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Self-esteem

What and when to share

Teachers notes

Safe conversation Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands the difference between ‘safe’ and ‘unsafe’ things to share with others. • Suggests safe conversation topics to have with new friends. • Identiﬁes the characteristics of someone who can be trusted.

Have the students describe in their own words what a secret is. Discuss the difference between things which should be kept secret and things which everyone can talk about. Introduce the idea that it is unsafe to talk about some things. Have the students suggest why it might not be safe to tell people some things. What could be the consequences of sharing something inappropriate?

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Based on the pre-lesson discussion, have the students brainstorm to list some safe things Sally and the ‘new kid’ could talk about. 2. Read the text reviewing the need to talk about safe things with people they don’t know well. Discuss how long it might take to make a close friendship with someone. Suggest that some people may never be ‘close’ friends, regardless of how long they have known one another. 3. Allow the students to write in their own words what is meant by safe things to talk about to complete Question 1 (a) and then to write a safe conversation topic into each of the lifesavers to answer 1 (b). Encourage the students to share their ideas from safe conversations they have had with their peers. 4. Discuss the consequences of talking about private matters with people we don’t know very well. Why is this a risk? Have the students write some of the possible consequences of sharing private information to answer 1 (c). 5. Ask the students to think about how they might be able to determine whether someone could be trusted. What kinds of traits would this person need to demonstrate to win their trust? Have the students use information from this discussion to answer Question 2 independently. 6. Challenge the students to think about their own behaviour and whether or not they are someone who could be trusted. Have them indicate their response for Question 3 (a) and then list the people they think would see them as a trustworthy person for 3 (b).

Follow-up suggestions Make a ‘safe conversations’ box by asking each student to write a conversation starter on a slip of paper and place it in the box. Form the class into pairs or small groups and draw a slip out of the box as a conversation starter for each group. Allow the students to talk for one minute and to use good listening skills. This can also be used to help review new information, by placing slips addressing new content the students have been learning into the box.

Activity links

Answers

Different types of friends ...............................pp 62–63 Rules for best friends ....................................pp 64–65 Fitting in ........................................................pp 66–67 Telling tales ...................................................pp 90–91 Make up your own mind ...............................pp 84–85 Who do you look up to? ................................pp 100–101

Students will inevitably make poor judgments at times about who they decide to share private information with, as they attempt to establish lasting relationships with their peers. It may help to be fairly explicit about the types of information which should not be shared, or should be disclosed only to a responsible adult if help is required, to help safeguard students against unnecessary or damaging attention from their peers.

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What and when to share

What should we talk about?

It takes a long time to make close friendships. When a friendship is still new, it is best to talk about ‘safe’ things rather than our most private secrets.

1. (a) What is meant by a ‘safe’ thing to talk about?

(b) What are some safe things you could talk about with someone new? Write them in the lifesavers.

2. What qualities does a trusted friend have?

3. (a) Are you a friend who can be trusted? Yes

(b) Who do you think sees you as a trusted friend?

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Self-esteem

Telling tales

Teachers notes

Telling tales to make friends Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands that sharing unkind stories about people is an inappropriate way to make friends. • Recognises that sharing unkind stories about others demonstrates he/she is untrustworthy. • Understands that what people say about a person can inﬂuence how others will feel about that person and the view they hold of him/her. • Identiﬁes things he/she can do to establish new friendships which do not hurt him/her or others.

Discuss what is meant by telling tales. Encourage the students to share examples of ‘tales’ which could hurt someone’s feelings. Discuss why someone would want to share an unkind story about another person and how this might affect the way other people see the storyteller and the person. Think about why people might not want to be friends with someone who can not be trusted. Review behaviours which demonstrate that a person can be trusted.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page and have the students describe what is happening between Sally and the new kid. Why would Sally think that telling a secret will make the new kid want to be her friend? How would the new kid be feeling about receiving such special information? Discuss whether telling the secret will help their friendship. 2. Read the text about making new friends. Discuss why Sally thinks that telling a secret to the new kid will make her seem more trustworthy. Have the students indicate whether they believe telling secrets is a good way to get others to trust them by answering Question 1 (a). 3. Review ‘safe’ and ‘unsafe’ things to talk about with people the students don’t know well. Discuss the consequences of each type of conversation. Encourage the students to look at each point of view and then decide whether telling secrets is a good way to make new friends to complete Question 1 (b). 4. Challenge the students to think about their own behaviour in relation to keeping and telling secrets. Discuss brieﬂy why secrets can be hard to keep. Allow the students to independently respond to Question 1 (c). 5. Read the text which follows, suggesting there are other ways to make new friends. Allow the students to work in pairs or small groups to develop a list of things to talk about and do which are appropriate when establishing new friendships to complete Question 2.

Follow-up suggestions Challenge the students to keep a secret by having them place an anonymous piece of information or perhaps a compliment to a peer into a community box and then refraining from disclosing their identity when the information is revealed. Conduct a ‘Secret gift’ activity, where each student makes a small gift and secretly gives it to a classmate nominated by the teacher. Encourage the students to keep the gift they have contributed a secret, and refrain from telling others when it is opened.

Answers

Activity links Fitting in ........................................................pp 66–67 Make up your own mind ...............................pp 84–85 What and when to share ...............................pp 88–89 Giving everyone a fair go ..............................pp 114–115 Don’t talk behind my back ............................pp 118–119

When students are sharing experiences about tale-telling, ensure they do not disclose private information or cause further embarrassment to a student who has been the subject of ‘tale telling’ or expose the untrustworthy person. Guide the students to say ‘Once I knew someone who …’ rather than use the actual names of the people involved.

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Telling tales

Yeah … okay! What’s the secret??

If you’ll be my friend – I’ll tell you a secret!

Making friends is not always easy. There are good ways to make friends like being interested and easy to get along with. But some people try to make friends by telling secrets about other people. They think that this will make you trust them.

1. (a) Would you trust someone who told you someone else’s secret?

Yes

Why/Why not?

(b) Is telling secrets a good way to make friends?

Yes

Why is it sometimes hard to keep a secret?

There are plenty of simple ways to make friends that won’t hurt anyone’s feelings or make you look like you can’t be trusted.

2. List some ‘friend-making’ ideas in the table below. Things I could talk about

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Things I could do

Self-esteem

Joining a group

Teachers notes

Strategies for joining groups Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands the importance of belonging to a group he/she feels comfortable in. • Understands that he/she can politely ask to join in with others. • Accepts that he/she may not always be able to join in with the people he/she chooses.

Ask the students to imagine they are in a huge room full of people they do not know. How would they feel? What would be the ﬁrst thing they would do? Would it be possible to be friends with everyone in the room? Why/ Why not? Encourage the students to role-play how they would approach someone else in the room. What would they say? Who would they choose to talk to?

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss whether the group pictured would be easy to join and why. 2. Read the text discussing the necessity for small groups when we are involved in a large organisation, such as a school. 3. Direct the students to the groups in Question 1. Discuss why each of these groups might have formed and what the members have in common. Have the students write their observations to complete Question 1. 4. Ask the students to reﬂect upon their own situation at school and to indicate whether they are a member of a group and what their group is like, or what they would like it to be like, to answer Question 2 (a) and (b). 5. Discuss some possible ways the students could try to join a group. Refer back to the pre-lesson discussion, considering how it is different and more difﬁcult to join a group which is already established compared to beginning a new group. 6. Look at the suggestions in Question 3 for how the students might approach joining an established group. Discuss what is happening in each and have the students determine the most appropriate option, giving reasons for their choice.

Follow-up suggestions Have the students role-play other situations which promote inclusiveness, cooperation skills and conﬂict resolution. The students may wish to use puppets and perform their skits in a makeshift puppet theatre for one another. Use the students’ skits as stimulus for discussion about how to make and keep friends.

Activity links

Answers

What message do I send to others? ..............pp 34–35 I can’t play today ..........................................pp 52–53 No-one likes me ............................................pp 54–55 Fitting in ........................................................pp 66–67 Why won’t you play with me?.......................pp 72–73 Cooperating in a group .................................pp 96–97 Get involved! ................................................pp 98–99

The students will need to be prepared for the possibility that they will not be able to join in with the group of their choice. In some situations, the students themselves may be the reason for rejection, and such issues should be treated separately. However, in most cases, the students should be reminded not to take the rejection personally, and to accept that it is the right of their peers to make decisions about friendships also.

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Joining a group When people have to spend a lot of time together such as at a school or in a workplace, it is easier for them to form small groups of friends rather than try to be good friends with everybody. Finding a group that we feel comfortable in is not always easy.

1. Write what you think the members of each of these groups might have in common. (a) A group playing soccer on the school oval.

2. (a) Are you in a group at school?

(b) A group sitting under a tree writing.

Yes

(b) What are the others in your group like or how would you want them to be?

3. Read each suggestion below that shows a way to join a group of friends. Tick the one you think is the best. Write and discuss the reasons for your choice. Let me join in and I’ll show you how to play this game the right way.

May I join in?

If I just stand here, they might ask me to join in.

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Self-esteem

Showing-off

Teachers notes

Being positive without boasting Indicators

Pre-lesson focus discussion

• Understands the difference between being positive and boasting. • Understands that showing-off is not impressive to others. • Realises that boasting can cause other people to feel inferior or hurt.

Introduce the words ‘boasting’ and ‘bragging’ to the students. Discuss their meanings and encourage the students to give examples. Discuss what might make someone boast when they are trying to make friends. Think about whether or not boasting is an effective means of making friends and what kind of behaviour would be more appropriate.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss what is being said by the ‘new kid’ and whether or not he is boasting. Discuss what Billy might be thinking as he is listening to the new kid. Is he impressed? Does he want to be friends with the new kid? Would you? 2. Read the text about the things people talk about when they meet someone new. Review why bragging is such a turn-off. 3. Invite the students to role-play a show-off based on the character in the cartoon. How would they feel if others held the opinion that they were a show-off? Have the students indicate their response to answer Question 1. 4. Direct the students to the speech bubbles surrounding Dizzy. Read each of the things Dizzy said when he first met Billy. Read the instructions provided in Question 2 (a) and (b) and allow the students time to analyse each of Dizzy’s statements and decide whether or not they were boasting statements or positive statements. Ensure the students can tell the difference. Boasting makes others feel inferior while positive statements are non-judgmental and often invite discussion. 5. Discuss what Billy might have thought of Dizzy when he first met him. Would he have been impressed? Would he want to spend more time with him? Have the students write what they think Billy’s first impressions of Dizzy might have been to answer 2 (c) and then indicate whether or not he is someone they would like to be friends with to answer 2 (d). Allow the students the opportunity to explain the reasons for their decision with their peers.

Follow-up suggestions Write personal proﬁles, giving the students an opportunity to safely talk about themselves and their achievements in a non-boastful context. Have the students use an animal to describe the character of a boastful person. Allow the students to draw a picture of the animal they chose, with speech bubbles to emphasise their nature; for example, a giraffe with its nose in the air or a peacock parading its feathers proudly.

Activity links

Answers

What am I good at? ......................................pp 2–3 What message do I send to others? ..............pp 34–35 Using good manners .....................................pp 74–75 Swearing .......................................................pp 76–77 Joining a group .............................................pp 92–93

Part of creating a safe, happy environment in which the students can learn involves making them aware of acceptable behaviour. Boasting is a subtle form of bullying used by some students to make themselves appear more important than others and can become a threat to vulnerable students. While interfering with the natural hierarchy that will develop among the students is not recommended, teachers should make all students aware that bullying behaviour will not be tolerated.

Self-esteem

1. Answers will vary 2. (a) I really love going to the beach …, I discovered an insect …, I help take care of …, I got a skateboard … (b) Because I am big …, The teacher gets me to …, I only play with …, Most of the losers … (c) Answers will vary (d) Answers will vary.

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Showing-off I was top of my class at my last school and got an art award and won the 100metre race on sports day.

Hmm, you sound really important.

When we are making new friends, we get to ﬁnd out all about new people and tell them about ourselves. Being positive about ourself makes it easier for others to enjoy our company. BUT talking about ourselves all the time and ‘bragging’ about what we are good at is a real turn-off!

1. Would you like it if someone you met thought you were a show-off? Yes

2. Read the things Dizzy said about himself when he ﬁrst met Billy. I really love going to the beach with my Dad – he is teaching me to bodysurf.

Because I am big for my age, I am also the best at sport.

The teacher gets me to do jobs for him because he can’t trust anyone else to do it right.

Most of the losers at this school are scared of me! I discovered an insect under the steps that no-one at school had ever seen before. We had to put it in a bottle and send it to a museum.

I help take care of the sports shed sometimes.

I only play with kids who are ‘cool’.

(a) Colour the speech bubbles where he was being positive green. (b) Colour the speech bubbles where he was bragging red. (c) What ﬁrst impressions of Dizzy would Billy have had?

(d) Would you like to be friends with Dizzy? R.I.C. Publications®

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Yes

Self-esteem

Cooperating in a group

Teachers notes

Joining in without taking over Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands that being bossy and taking over are not friendly behaviours. • Identiﬁes behaviours which are appropriate when joining in and playing with others.

Describe for the students how it feels to get excited about playing a game and how they can really want something to work out. Ask the students to share what they could do to make sure something worked out the way they wanted it to. Discuss whether or not their suggestions would be helpful and friendly to the rest of the group. Have the students share experiences when someone has joined in with their game and taken over. Discuss how it made them feel and whether or not the behaviour of the new person was fair and friendly. Discuss what bossy people do and what they sound like.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss whether or not the new kid’s behaviour is fair and friendly. Determine the reasons why the new kid might be behaving in this way. Does he think he is being helpful? Or is he just helping himself? 2. Read the text about how we can sometimes try too hard to make things work out the way we think is perfect and how this can lead to bossy behaviour. 3. Allow the students to answer Question 1 (a) and (b). 4. Direct the students to the cartoon in Question 2 and read the instructions for how the task is to be completed. Model an example of one of the ways it could be completed by cutting out a speech bubble from the bottom of the page, gluing it to the corresponding space and then writing what the other students might say in response. 5. Allow the students to choose a speech bubble for themselves and write responses they might expect from the other group members in the cartoon.

Follow-up suggestions Conduct activities which require cooperation within small groups, such as group art and craft activities or design and make tasks, which require sharing resources and considering the views of others. Highlight the importance of not taking over by demonstrating respectful leadership and listening skills.

Activity links

Answers

I think ... .......................................................pp 12–13 Following the right leader .............................pp 70–71 Using good manners .....................................pp 74–75 Being interested in others .............................pp 86–87 Showing off ...................................................pp 94–95 Body language ..............................................pp 102–103

Ensure the students do not use the names of students if sharing negative stories about bossiness and taking over. Avoid labelling students as ‘bossy’. When a student believes he/she is seen in a certain way, he/she can come to think that kind of behaviour is expected and will behave accordingly. During small-group tasks, where a leader needs to be nominated, be explicit in the leader’s role as facilitator rather than dictator to avoid confusion between being a ‘leader’ and being ‘bossy’.

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Cooperating in a group You … over there! Hurry up!

Right … you go there and …

We need to be interested and want to have fun when we join a new group, but sometimes trying too hard to make everything work out can make us look bossy.

1. (a) How do bossy people make you feel?

(b) Would you like a bossy person to join your group of friends? 2. (a) Choose one of the speech bubbles at the bottom of the page and glue it into the correct space in the cartoon.

Yes

(b) Write what you think the kids in the group might say to the new kid if he said what is in the speech bubble you attached.

Hi! I wish I could play. You look like you’re having a great time.

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Hi! Can I join in? You look like you need someone to show you how to play properly.

Self-esteem

Hi! Do you need an extra player? I love this game!

Get involved!

Teachers notes

Positive group activities at school Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Identiﬁes organised group activities at his/her school. • Suggests organised activities which would be suitable for students at his/her school. • Demonstrates a willingness to become part of an organised group.

Advertise the groups which exist at the school which the students could join; for example, sporting teams, dance groups, choirs or art and craft groups. Encourage the students to brainstorm to make a list of the organised activities that are run in their school. Invite the students to share what being part of some of these groups is like. Encourage the students to talk about the friends they’ve made, the new skills they’ve learnt and how being involved has enriched their school life.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss what type of group Billy is involved in and whether or not that group would suit any of the students in their own class. Discuss why different people might be attracted to different types of organised group activities. 2. Have the students write a brief description of what happens at their school at lunchtime, including available activities for students, and then write what they choose to do during lunchtime to answer Questions 1 and 2. 3. Allow the students to work in pairs or small groups to construct a list of the organised group activities that would be run at school if they were in charge to complete Question 3 (a). Encourage the students to consider what would be most popular to help decide their ﬁnal four. Allow time for the students to share their suggested groups with the class. 4. Determine whether there are any groups already running at the school which are similar to those on the students’ lists to answer Question 3 (b). 5. Read the text which follows and review some of the positive reasons for becoming involved in an organised group at school. Have the students identify groups from the list at the bottom of the page that they are part of or would like to be part of in the future.

Follow-up suggestions Establish one of the organised groups suggested by the students. Develop a plan for how it could be established and run by its members. Have the students write advertisements for a schoolbased group they are involved in and display for other students in the school to see.

Activity links

Answers

Things I am responsible for ...........................pp 4–5 I can’t play today ..........................................pp 52–53 Why won’t you play with me?.......................pp 72–73 Using good manners .....................................pp 74–75 Offering a helping hand ................................pp 104–105

Organised school groups are a great way for students to establish a friendship network and learn new skills. For these groups to operate successfully, dedicated adults will need to volunteer their services in their free time. Students should be made aware that their involvement in such groups is a privilege and that their cooperation and best conduct are essential for continued participation.

Self-esteem

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Get involved! My school has a club where you get to play different kinds of board games at lunchtime.

I love board games, so I joined. Now I have heaps of new friends.

1. Describe what happens at your school at lunchtime.

2. What do you usually do at lunchtime?

3. Imagine you are a school organiser and have to organise group activities for everyone to do. (b) Are there any groups like © R. I . C.Publ i ca t i o nsat your school? these running Yes No (i) •f orr evi ew pur posesonl y•

(a) Write four group activities you would like to start up.

(ii)

If ‘yes’, what are they?

(iii) (iv)

Joining an organised group is an easy, safe way to meet new people and make friends with others who are interested in the same things as you.

4. Colour the groups you would like to be part of.

choir

computer club sports team fundraising committee

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gardening club 99

Who do you look up to?

Teachers notes

Personal role models Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Identiﬁes inﬂuential people in his/her life. • Recognises desirable personal qualities in others. • Demonstrates a desire to become the best person he/ she can be.

Ask the students to think of someone they would love to spend time with if they could. Invite them to share who they had in mind and explain why this person would be great to spend time with. Discuss what it means to admire someone and determine how someone they admire could inﬂuence their lives.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss why Billy might admire his dad and how his dad might influence the way Billy lives his life. 2. Read the text, reviewing how people the students admire can influence their lives and give them clues about what they can strive to be like. 3. Direct the students to the people shapes at the bottom of the page. Read the instructions and allow the students to nominate five people who are significant to them and write their names on the faces of the people. 4. Give the students time to reflect upon why these people are influential and to briefly write the qualities they most admire about each in the corresponding bodies.

Sensitivity issues

Follow-up suggestions

Encourage the students to become inﬂuential in someone else’s life. Create a buddy system with younger students who are new to the school. Discuss the types of things they might do with a new person if they were that person’s buddy, and the kinds of qualities that younger students might admire about them. For example, they could demonstrate kindness and consideration by introducing them to people they might like to be friends with, showing them around the school, or keeping them company at lunchtime until they felt comfortable.

Activity links

Answers

Trying hard and improving ............................pp 10–11 Who is watching you? ...................................pp 14–15 Setting goals .................................................pp 16–17 The ‘perfect’ person .......................................pp 28–29 What people like about me ...........................pp 36–37

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The inﬂuences upon young people are broad-ranging. Guiding the students to think about those who they admire will be a positive inﬂuence and best equip them for appropriate social interactions, positive self-concept development and the pursuit of a positive future.

Self-esteem

Teacher check

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Who do you look up to? Dad, I think you’re the greatest! Thanks, Billy. You’re pretty great yourself!

Is there anyone you really admire and look up to? Maybe you hope to be a bit like him or her one day. When we meet someone we really like, it gives us clues about what we want to be like.

What do you want to be like? Imagine all the people below are people in your family or friends at school. Write the name of one of these people you admire over each face and what you admire about that person over the body.

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101

Body language

Teachers notes

Non-verbal interaction Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Realises that in order to understand others, he/she needs to listen to what is said and watch body language. • Understands that feelings are expressed both verbally and non-verbally. • Recognises familiar non-verbal gestures used to communicate with others.

Use mime to communicate what the afternoon’s activities will be. Have the students attempt to work out what the activities will be and share the non-verbal clues that helped them work it out. Invite the students to play charades, allowing them to choose what they will mime within a set category; for example, in the category ‘animals’, they could choose to mime a duck. Encourage the students to watch the non-verbal clues carefully to work out what is being communicated.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss what a handshake communicates. Discuss all the situations when it would be appropriate to shake hands with someone. 2. Explain that people communicate with others in a number of different ways. Have the students write four different means of communication to complete Question 1. 3. Read the text describing how body language can assist us in understanding others better. Ask the students to explain in their own words what they think is meant by ‘reading’ someone’s body language. Discuss how reading body language could help them to understand others better. 4. Direct the students to the pictures in Question 2. Determine what is being ‘expressed’ by each of the gestures and allow the students to write a brief description for each. 5. Look at Question 3. Invite students to demonstrate how they would express each of the feelings listed using only non-verbal communication. Encourage the remaining class to analyse the non-verbal communication used. 6. Give the students time to draw or write how they would use their body to communicate each of the feelings listed to complete Question 3.

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Invite a hearing-impaired person to the class to demonstrate sign language. Teach the students signs for the letters of the alphabet and encourage them to use this form of communication with their peers. Challenge the students to invent hand signs or gestures to assist in the comprehension of a song or poem by an audience. Perform the piece at a school assembly or special presentation.

Answers

Activity links Feelings .........................................................pp 42–43 Using good manners .....................................pp 74–75 Swearing .......................................................pp 76–77 Being interested in others .............................pp 86–87

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Be aware that not all ‘signing’ is appropriate. Only discuss gestures that are inappropriate on a ‘need to know’ basis, ensuring that the students are aware of the indecent nature of some gestures and the impact their use has upon others when used in a derogatory way. Note also that some gestures do not have a universal meaning.

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Body language There are many different ways people communicate with one another.

1. Name four different ways we can communicate.

We not only communicate our feelings with words, we also use our faces and bodies. When we are able to ‘read’ someone’s body language, it helps us understand more about what that person is saying and feeling.

2. Look at these different kinds of body language. Write what you think is being ‘expressed’ in each picture. (a)

(c)

(b) ‘I’m happy to see you.’

(d) disappointment

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103

Offering a helping hand

Teachers notes

Helping others Indicators

Pre-lesson focus discussion

• Understands that being helpful fosters a positive, cooperative environment. • Differentiates between helpful and unhelpful behaviour. • Demonstrates a willingness to be helpful in a classroom situation.

Ask the students to suggest times when they could be helpful. Suggest that they have an opportunity to be helpful in almost every interaction they are involved in and that being helpful is holding a positive state of mind. Give examples of how they can choose to be helpful in the simplest situations. For example, if someone greets them, they can either be helpful and cooperative by saying hello and asking how the person is or they can be unhelpful and uncooperative by ignoring him/her or grunting in response. Provide the students with several simple scenarios and ask volunteers to demonstrate helpful and unhelpful behaviour in each.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Ask the students whether they have ever thought to be helpful in a simple way such as this. Discuss how being helpful in this way can make others feel. 2. Read the text describing how being helpful is integral to our ability to get along with others. Ask the students to explain how the way they behave affects the people around them and in particular how much enjoyment they can get out of life. 3. Direct the students to the cartoon in Question 1. Read what Billy is proposing and then read the possible responses Bella could give him. Allow the students to analyse each of the responses and determine which are helpful and which are unhelpful to complete the task. 4. Allow the students the opportunity to report back to the class their reasons for deciding whether each of Bella’s statements was helpful or unhelpful. 5. Read the text that follows and encourage the students to share some of the other ways they are helpful both at home and at school. They can then write some examples of this type of helpfulness to complete Question 2.

Follow-up suggestions When resolving conﬂicts, describe students’ interactions as ‘helpful’ or ‘unhelpful’ to demonstrate their willingness to get along with others. Make a roster of helpful duties nominated students can perform; for example, cleaning the board, handing out books, collecting lunches and running errands.

Activity links

Answers

Things I am responsible for ...........................pp 4–5 Who is watching you? ...................................pp 14–15 Why misbehaving doesn’t work ....................pp 40–41 Using good manners .....................................pp 74–75 We can work it out ........................................pp 112–113

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Being helpful is something that students need to do with a generous nature and though it certainly can be encouraged, it should not be forced. ‘Helpful’ and ‘unhelpful’ are terms which are appropriate for describing student behaviour, as they are suggestive of a positive attitude towards cooperating and interacting with others.

Self-esteem

1. H, U, U, H, U 2. Answers will vary

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Offering a helping hand May I help you with that?

Thanks! I needed some help!

Getting along with others is something we choose to do. We choose whether we are going to be cooperative and helpful or disagreeable and unhelpful. The way we choose to behave affects the people around us and how much fun we can have.

1. Look at the cartoon. Show whether Bella’s responses are helpful or unhelpful by writing a ‘H’ for helpful or an ‘U’ for unhelpful next to each. Let’s build a playhouse!

Okay! What will we use to build it?

Okay! But it has to be built where I say. Okay –a butt not untiln I’ves ﬁnished © R. I . C.Publ i c i o everything I want to do. •f orr evi ew pur posesonl y• Okay! We can play games inside it once we’re ﬁnished. Playhouses are for babies. Can’t you think of something else we can do?

We can get along with others by being helpful in other ways too— like doing special jobs.

2. Write some jobs you do at home and school that help everyone get along better.

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Encouraging my friends

Teachers notes

Encouraging others Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands what is meant by the term ‘encouragement’. • Recognises how encouraging others assists in developing strong friendships. • Understands how to encourage others in an appropriate, non-threatening way.

Introduce the term ‘encouragement’ and ask the students to share what they think the term means. Brainstorm to list encouraging comments the students could say to others; for example, ‘Well done!’ or ‘You can do it!’

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Explain why Bella might feel like her friends can help her to succeed. Discuss what might happen to Bella’s attitude if her peers were not encouraging or said things which were hurtful or negative in some way. 2. Read the text suggesting that encouraging others can help us to get along better with them. Encourage the students to share times when they were uplifted by their friends’ encouragement. 3. Review some of the suggestions in the pre-lesson discussion about the types of things the students could say to their friends to encourage them. They can then write some of these to answer Question 1. 4. Ask the students to reflect upon how their friends behave around them. Are they encouraging? Do they make them feel special and confident that they can succeed? How could they help them feel this way? The students can then write their ideas to complete Question 2. 5. Read the text which follows, suggesting that the wrong kind of encouragement could be described as forcing someone to do something. Discuss the difference. 6. Direct the students to the cartoon of Billy about to attempt the high jump for the first time. Allow the students to write an example of positive encouragement and an example of forcing Billy into doing it in the speech bubbles to complete Question 3.

Follow up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Have the students compose an encouraging letter to a nominated class member. Brainstorm to list encouraging words and phrases to assist the students with their compositions. Provide encouragement awards for students to help build their conﬁdence for an upcoming event or to recognise their effort in a particular ﬁeld.

Activity links

Answers

Who is watching you? ...................................pp 14–15 Compliments .................................................pp 18–19 What people like about me ...........................pp 36–37 You’re the greatest! ......................................pp 38–39 Leave me alone!............................................pp 50–51 Learning new things......................................pp 78–79

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Students may confuse positive encouragement, which is a selﬂess act, with coercion, which is a desire for another to do what they want. Students should be made aware of the difference and the potential for causing the person they are ‘encouraging’ discomfort if their motives are not appropriate. Peer group pressure can take both a positive and negative role in a student’s development. When pressure from peers comes in the form of positive encouragement, it is an overwhelmingly positive experience for the recipient.

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Encouraging my friends I can do anything with my friends’ help!

1. What kinds of things could you say to your friends to encourage them?

We can get along with others by being helpful and agreeable. But friends who get along very well do something extra— they give each other encouragement.

2. How would you like your friends to encourage you?

There is a big difference between encouraging someone to do something and forcing him or her into doing it.

3. Look at the cartoon below where Billy is about to have his ﬁrst go at the high jump. feeling?

to encourage Billy in her speech bubble. (c) Write what you think someone might say who is forcing Billy to do it in the other speech bubble.

I don’t know if I can do this!

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107

I don’t want to play today, okay?

Teachers notes

Saying ‘no’ to friends Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands that he/she is responsible for his/her own behaviour. • Understands that he/she has the right to say ‘no’ to others, and that he/she needs to respect the right of others to say ‘no’ to him/her.

Discuss the types of situations that might require the students to say no, such as things which are not safe, things which could be hurtful to others, doing things at the wrong time or in the wrong place, or to avoid breaking rules and getting into trouble. Encourage the students to share situations they have been in where they have been required to say ‘no’. Ask the students to think about how they feel when someone says ‘no’ to them. What is their initial reaction? What do they do or say to the person who has told them ‘no’? Discuss whether or not they can control what other people do and whether or not they have the right to try.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Describe what is happening in the picture. Think about how the other kids will feel when Billy tells them he doesn’t want to go swimming. Will they care? Have the students imagine a scenario where the other kids will be unable to go swimming if Billy doesn’t. Perhaps Billy’s mum is taking them to the waterhole? Discuss how difﬁcult it would be for Billy to say ‘no’ under these circumstances. Would it be fair for him to say ‘no’? 2. Read the text describing how saying ‘no’ to friends can make us feel. 3. Direct the students to the cloze activity in Question 1. Read the sentences and determine which word would be most appropriate in each. Allow the students time to reread each sentence and select the appropriate word from the list to complete the task independently. 4. Discuss some possible reasons Billy might have for not wanting to go swimming with his friends. Explain that there are many reasons we might want or have to say ‘no’ to friends from time to time – even if it means hurting their feelings. Review how the students should respectfully handle their friends saying ‘no’ to them. 5. Allow the students to work in pairs to brainstorm a list of reasons they might have for saying ‘no’ to their friends to complete Question 2.

Follow up suggestions Review student safety issues such as road and water safety, stranger danger and drug and alcohol use.

Activity links

Answers

Should I or shouldn’t I? .................................pp 8–9 I think ... .......................................................pp 12–13 Smoking ........................................................pp 26–27 I can’t play today ..........................................pp 52–53 How to say ‘no’ .............................................pp 68–69

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Students with poor self-esteem who ﬁnd it difﬁcult to make and keep friends are most susceptible to peer pressure. When required to say ‘no’, the emotional status of the students involved will affect their ability to make the choices which are most appropriate for them. In situations where students have made poor choices, they need to be made accountable for them, despite their emotional status, as making excuses for poor decision-making is ultimately unsafe and will not improve student resilience or the ability to make better decisions in the future.

Self-esteem

1. (a) no (d) welcome 2. Teacher check

(b) change (e) Accept

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I don’t want to play today, okay? I don’t feel like going swimming— but how will I tell my friends?

Come on, let’s go swimming ... yeah!

I’m sure you have been in a situation like Billy’s. You want to spend time with your friends, but you don’t want to do what they are doing. And what will they think if you say ‘no’?

1. Use the words in the box to complete these tips for getting along when you need to say ‘no’. (a) You have the right to say ‘

’ to your friends.

(b) You can’t your friends’ plans just because they don’t suit you.

no bad

Respect your friends’ right tob say ‘no’ when © R . I . C . P u l i c a t i o n s they need to. welcome f orr evi e wfriends pu r p esonl yAccept • (d) • Always your to joino in.s (c)

(e)

that different people enjoy doing different things.

(f) Never say isn’t joining in.

change

things about someone who

2. There are lots of reasons why a person might want or need to say ‘no’ to his/her friends. Brainstorm to list some ideas and write them into the word shape.

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109

Fighting

Teachers notes

Controlling anger Indicators

Pre-lesson focus discussion

• Understands that when he/she is unfairly treated, it can make him/her feel angry. • Recognises that the way he/she handles anger affects his/her ability to solve the problem. • Identiﬁes strategies which help him/her control his/her anger.

Discuss what people who are angry look like and behave like. Debate whether allowing ourselves to become angry is acceptable. Encourage the students to share experiences when they have become angry. What made them angry? Did getting angry help them to solve their problem? Did it make their situation worse?

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss what is happening and whether Dizzy is being fair to Dolly. Have the students describe how Dolly might be feeling. 2. Allow the students to write things that make them angry to complete Question 1. 3. Read Question 2 and allow the students to write how they would respond if they were unfairly treated in each of the ways suggested. 4. Read the text which follows about anger and how it can affect our ability to solve a problem. Direct the students to the ways they can react to angry feelings listed in Question 3. Have the students decide which of these responses could help them to solve a problem. 5. Discuss the importance of not making a situation worse by becoming angry and doing something silly that we regret later. Allow the students to share things they or someone they know did when they were angry that they regretted later. Suggest things such as saying hurtful things, trying to get even or hurting someone or something. Discuss why ‘getting even’ doesn’t actually get ‘even’ – but makes things worse. 6. Allow the students time to draw and write what they would do to help them take control of their anger in the space provided for Question 4. 7. Introduce the idea that, sometimes, we can feel unfairly treated because we have misunderstood something. Discuss why it is important to give people who have been unfair a chance to explain themselves. Have the students write why it is important to listen to the other person’s point of view to answer Question 5.

Follow-up suggestions Review strategies for resolving conﬂict which incorporate anger management. Have the students draw or paint two portraits, one in ‘angry’ colours and the other in ‘cool’ colours. Title the composition ‘Cool down’.

Answers

Activity links The ‘perfect’ person .......................................pp 28–29 Feelings .........................................................pp 42–43 Keeping feelings under control......................pp 44–45 We can work it out ........................................pp 112–113

110

The ability to control anger will vary from student to student, depending on the anger management that has been modelled for them, their personality and the severity of the situations with which they are confronted. Students who display inappropriate responses to anger should be removed from the group in order to help them ‘cool down’ in private (removing them from their audience) and to keep other students safe.

Self-esteem

1. Answers will vary 2. Answers will vary 3. take time to cool down, walk away, tell someone responsible 4. Teacher check 5. Answers will vary

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Fighting I’ve got your lunch and now I’m going to eat it …

1. What makes you angry?

2. What would you do if... (a) someone broke or stole your favourite toy?

(b) someone was not being fair to you?

Getting angry is a natural reaction when we feel like we are being unfairly treated. How we handle our anger affects whether or not we can solve the problem.

3. Colour the ways to deal with angry feelings that could help you solve a problem. yell and scream

take time to cool down

hit or kick

walk away

tell someone responsible

say hurtful things

When we take control of our anger, we make sure we don’t make things worse. Then we can work out how to solve the problem together.

4. Draw and explain what you do to take control of your anger. 5. Why is it important to listen to the other person’s point of view when trying to work out a problem?

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We can work it out

Teachers notes

Conﬂict resolution Indicators

Pre-lesson focus discussion

• Understands the importance of being fair in order to resolve conflicts. • Adopts a plan for resolving conflicts. • Strives to achieve an outcome where both parties win when resolving conflicts.

Ask the students to define what is meant by a conflict. Discuss some of the ‘conflicts’ in the world and the kinds of things that happen during a conflict; for example, during a war there is fighting over opposing points of view. Ask the students whether they have ever been involved in a conflict at school. Allow them to share their stories if they wish, ensuring they do not use names and implicate other students. Discuss how a conflict in a school might be similar to a conflict between countries. Consider how a conflict between countries could be resolved without fighting.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss what the kids might be wanting to ‘work out’. 2. Read the text discussing the need for both parties to feel fairly treated in order to resolve a conflict. Highlight and re-read the plan for solving problems, discussing at length what is meant by understanding, being considerate and brainstorming within the context of conflict resolution. Have the students suggest why they think each of these steps is critical to working problems out. 3. Use the three possible outcomes for a problem, ‘win-win’, ‘win-lose’ and ‘lose-lose’ to demonstrate how they can assess the suitability of possible solutions to a problem. Have the students deduce which they think would be most appropriate to answer Question 1. 4. Direct the students to the first case study in Question 2. Read the case study and briefly discuss whether Ella and Brianna are being fair to each other. Have the students write each point of view and then suggest a solution to the problem that would be a win-win, considering the needs of both Ella and Brianna. 5. Repeat this process with the second case study and, on completion, allow the students to share their solutions with the class and discuss their merit. Encourage the other class members to analyse each solution and suggest any points of view which may have been overlooked with each solution given.

Follow-up suggestions Provide a framework for students to use when attempting to resolve conﬂicts, outlining a step-by-step procedure for achieving the best outcome. Run a small workshop for training students to become mediators. These mediators can then take on the responsibility of helping their peers resolve conﬂicts, using a familiar procedure.

Activity links

Answers

I think ............................................................pp 12–13 Hurt feelings..................................................pp 46–47 Offering a helping hand ................................pp 104–105 Fighting .........................................................pp 110–111

112

Behind many conflicts are ongoing issues which have developed between students. These issues may affect one or both parties and lead them to prejudge one another. When mediating conflicts, be mindful of the individual situations and needs of the students. For example, discipline systems which rely on blanket rules and punishments for all students are rarely successful. In extreme cases, it may be necessary to step in and enforce disciplinary measures; however, by striving to move past the point of blame and punishment, the focus can be placed on finding a positive resolution and thus equip students to seek reconciliation rather than perpetuate existing problems.

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We can work it out In order to solve a ‘conﬂict’ (a disagreement or a ﬁght), both sides need to feel like they are getting a fair go and getting at least something of what they wanted. Here is a plan you can use to help you solve problems. 1.

Understand both points of view.

Be considerate when telling your story (don’t say unhelpful things) and listen respectfully without interrupting.

Think of a way to try to suit everyone. There are three possible solutions to every problem. • One where both people get what they want (win-win). • One where only one person gets what he/she wants (win-lose). • One where neither person gets what he/she wants (lose-lose).

1. What kind of solution would you prefer? 2. Read the following stories. Write both points of view and think of a solution for each.

© R. I . C.Publ i cat i ons Luke wants to join in a soccer game Ella has new felt-tipped pens but • f o r r e v i e w p u r p o s eso nl y •him to but Lachlan doesn’t want doesn’t want to share them yet.

They are special. Brianna needs felt-tipped pens to ﬁnish a project and doesn’t have any of her own. She wants to borrow Ella’s.

play because he always insists on being the goalie and Luke wants to play goalie.

Luke’s point of view

Ella’s point of view

Lachlan’s point of view Brianna’s point of view

Solution Solution

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Giving everyone a fair go

Teachers notes

Forming fair opinions of others Indicators

Pre-lesson focus discussion

• Understands that people’s opinions of others can be biased by what others tell them. • Recognises the need to make his/her own opinions of others fairly.

Show the students a book which is very exciting on the inside, but has a very plain cover. (Some older, more traditionally bound children’s books are like this.) Ask the students to predict what they think the book will be like from its cover and what it might be about. Open the book to reveal its interior and read a short section of the story on a page with vivid illustrations. Ask the students whether their predictions about what the book was like were accurate. Suggest to the students that people can be like the book. What we think they are like before we take time to get to know them can be completely wrong.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Introduce the phrase ‘You can’t judge a book by its cover’ to the students. Based on the experience shared by the students during the pre-lesson discussion, have them suggest what is meant by this saying. Allow them to write their own explanation to answer Question 1. 2. Encourage the students to think about how they form their opinions of other people. Do they base their opinions on what someone looks like? Dresses like? Behaves like? Do they listen to what other people think? Have the students share their thoughts and then write ﬁve different criteria they use when forming opinions of others onto the book covers in Question 2. Explain there are no right or wrong answers. 3. Discuss whether or not the things they base their opinions of others on are fair. Have the students reﬂect upon how they feel they are perceived by others. They can then indicate whether they feel they are fairly judged by their peers and what they believe is the opinion held of them by most to complete Question 3. 4. Read the text explaining the need to spend time with a person in order to get to know him/her properly. Discuss what is meant by ‘unlearning’ something about someone. 5. Have the students identify something they would like others to ‘unlearn’ about them to answer Question 4 (a) and then write what they would like others to know about them instead to complete 4 (b).

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Have the students make a ‘book’ about themselves from a folded piece of paper or card. They can draw a picture or attach a photo of themselves on the front cover and then write and illustrate things which describe what they are like on the inside. Encourage the students to think about the colours and style that best describe them when designing the interior of their book. Display the books so that other class members can get to know their peers better. Activity links

Answers

I think ............................................................pp 12–13 What message do I send to others? ..............pp 34–35 What people like about me ...........................pp 36–37 You’re the greatest! ......................................pp 38–39 Being different ..............................................pp 82–83 Make up your own mind ...............................pp 84–85 Telling tales ...................................................pp 90–91

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This activity offers an opportunity for students with a poor image among their peers to redeem themselves by allowing their peers to see another side. For example, a student who appears rebellious may welcome the opportunity to indicate that he/she is not a threat. Any discussion involving the judgment of others needs to be directed carefully, to ensure the students do not use it as an opportunity to promote themselves ahead of others. Remind the students that they are all different but equal.

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Giving everyone a fair go 1. (a) Have you ever heard the saying ‘You can’t judge a book by its cover’? Yes

(b) What do you think this saying means?

2. There are lots of things which help us form our opinions of the people we know. Write some of them on these book covers.

Yes

(b) What do you think their opinion of you is?

The only way to get to know what a person is really like is to talk and spend time with him/her. Sometimes we have to ‘unlearn’ what we thought about someone when we ﬁnd out what he/she is really like.

4. (a) Write what you would like people to ‘unlearn’ about you.

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(b) Write what you would really like them to know about you.

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115

Why do people tease?

Teachers notes

Teasing Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Identiﬁes how teasing makes people feel. • Compares and contrasts reasons for teasing with reasons not to tease. • Understands the beneﬁts of not being a person who teases.

Discuss what is meant by the word ‘teasing’. Encourage the students to share ways in which they have been teased and how it made them feel. Ask the students whether they have ever seen someone else tease. How did it make them feel to see the teasing? How did they feel about the person being teased? What did they think about the teaser? Discuss the reasons why they think someone would want to be a teaser.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. What is happening that could be considered ‘teasing’? Consider the feelings of each of the kids in the cartoon, including the onlookers. 2. Direct the students to the puzzle pieces at the bottom of the page. Read each of the reasons for and against teasing. Have the students discuss and determine which beneﬁt outweighs the other. 3. Allow the students time to cut out each of the puzzle pieces and to arrange them on a separate sheet of paper with a piece they feel corresponds best. Discuss why students may have matched different jigsaw pieces. 4. Have the students glue the pieces and then brieﬂy explain why they chose to match those pieces.

Follow-up suggestions

Have the students write a poem or explanation with the title ‘Teasing is for losers’. Make ‘No teasing’ signs which include a cartoon of someone being teased and the types of things a teaser might say or do.

Activity links

Answers

What message do I send to others? ..............pp 34–35 Why misbehaving doesn’t work ....................pp 40–41 Leave me alone!............................................pp 50–51 No-one likes me ............................................pp 54–55

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Teasing which happens repeatedly is harassment and must be dealt with seriously. Students who approach a teacher with concerns about being teased should be listened to and provided with adequate support and strategies to promote resilience in such situations. Teasing and bullying incidents should be annotated to identify repeat patterns among students.

Self-esteem

Answers will vary

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Why do people tease? Hmmm …

Look at Dizzy! He runs like a gorilla! Oo–oo-a–a! Monkey boy!

We all know that teasing can hurt people’s feelings. So why do people still do it?

Read the list of reasons why teasers like to tease. Cut each one out and match it to a reason why it is even better not to tease.

Teasing is entertaining for everyone around you.

Being the centre of bad attention is not as good as being the centre of good attention.

uncomfortable.

It’s okay to tease some people because they’re different.

Teasing because someone is different is like bullying and no-one likes a bully.

Teasing makes you the centre of attention.

It is not as good to have people afraid of you as it is to have friends.

Teasing is great if you can get away with it.

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No-one will stick up for a teaser.

Self-esteem

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Don’t talk behind my back

Teachers notes

Gossiping Pre-lesson focus discussion

Indicators • Understands the difference between talking about people in a positive way and talking behind their back. • Recognises the need to talk to someone ‘face to face’ in order to resolve issues. • Understands that talking about someone behind his/ her back is hurtful and can make a problem more serious.

Demonstrate ‘talking behind someone’s back’ by sharing a (harmless) piece of information about a staff member with the students. (The staff member should be agreeable prior to the discussion for the information to be used.) Note the reaction of the students and ask them why they reacted the way they did. For example, some may laugh with surprise, while others may appear concerned. Discuss how hearing this information about the staff member made them feel. Encourage the students to think about how the staff member might feel if he/she knew they had been talking about him/her. Determine whether or not you needed to share that information and whether you had made a good decision by choosing to do so.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. How is Billy feeling? Is he justified in talking about Dizzy’s behaviour with other people? What is Dizzy thinking? Will Billy’s comments affect the way his friends see Dizzy? Is Billy being fair to Dizzy by talking about him? 2. Read the text and have the students write a definition of ‘talking behind someone’s back’ in their own words to answer Question 1. 3. Suggest to the students that if they can’t hear what is being said, it can’t hurt them, and ask them to respond. Encourage the students to think about how telling others could influence how they might treat the person being talked about and also about the risk of what has been said getting back to the person being talked about. Have the students use information from this discussion to answer Question 2. 4. Read the text introducing the idea of talking ‘face to face’ with someone in order to resolve problems quickly, rather than talking behind his/her back. 5. Refer back to the cartoon at the top of the page. Direct the students to the statements in Question 3 (a) and have them select and tick what they would do if they were in Billy’s shoes. 6. Have the students resolve the issue between Billy and Dizzy by writing a short conversation they could have face to face in the speech bubble in Question 3 (b).

Follow-up suggestions

Sensitivity issues

Encourage the students to be on the lookout for others who are talking behind someone’s back and to politely remind them that what they are doing is hurtful. Alternatively, the students could simply respond that they are not interested in these situations or not participate in such discussions, to help discourage them.

Activity links Who is watching you? ...................................pp 14–15 Hurt feelings..................................................pp 46–47 Leave me alone!............................................pp 50–51 No-one likes me ............................................pp 54–55 Different types of friends ...............................pp 62–63 Rules for best friends ....................................pp 64–65 Make up your own mind ...............................pp 84–85

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Self-esteem

Students are easily caught in the trap of talking behind others’ backs for two main reasons. Firstly, their peers will usually respond with great interest and mock concern to their problems, leaving both the listener and the talker feeling ‘special’ and ‘cared for’ while oblivious to the hurt they are causing. Secondly, students are usually too trusting of others and believe what they are saying will be kept conﬁdential. Learning not to talk behind others’ backs is, for many, a long painful journey as they ﬂow in and out of friendships for several years before learning the secret to friendship, which is trust. Answers Answers will vary

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Don’t talk behind my back Dizzy keeps bossing me around – I’m so ‘over it’. Is Billy talking about me??

There is a big difference between talking about people, which is ﬁne, and talking about them ‘behind their back’.

1. What does ‘talking behind someone’s back’ mean?

2. How could talking behind someone’s back hurt him/her even if he/she can’t hear what is being said?

If there is something bothering you about someone and you have to talk about it, the best thing to do is discuss it in a caring way ‘face to face’.

3. (a) What would you do if you were Billy?

Ask my friends if they have the same problems. Ask the teacher to tell him to stop. Talk through the issue ‘face to face’ with Dizzy. Ignore Dizzy from now on. (b) Write what you would say to Dizzy if you were talking to him face to face about the problem. (Remember to be a caring friend.)

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119

When it’s okay to ‘dob’

Teachers notes

Seeking help to stay safe Indicators

Pre-lesson focus discussion

• Understands that everyone has the right to be safe and happy. • Determines situations that can be resolved without adult intervention. • Determines situations that require help from an adult to resolve. • Demonstrates a willingness to seek help in situations where he/she feels unsafe.

Discuss what is meant by ‘dobbing’ or ‘tale-telling’. Have the students debate whether ‘dobbing’ is a good or a bad thing for students to do. Review conﬂict resolution procedures and have selected students model how a playground conﬂict could be resolved without a teacher’s help.

Using the student activity sheet 1. Look at the cartoon at the top of the student activity page. Discuss whether what is happening is fair and encourage the students to share what they would do if they found themselves in that situation. Do they have all the information they need to resolve the conflict? How could they solve the problem without a teacher’s help? 2. Read the text and discuss why and how the bad behaviour of others could make us unhappy over time. Discuss how to determine when a situation needs intervention from an adult to solve. Have the students share why it is important for them to solve some problems on their own. 3. Direct the students to Question 1 and read each of the situations shown in the boxes. Discuss each and whether or not it could be resolved by the students involved. Allow the students to colour each square in the appropriate colour to complete the task. 4. Review the students’ rights in relation to conflict. Remind them that they have the right to be safe and happy, but also that they have a responsibility to resolve the conflicts that they are able to resolve. 5. Invite the students to suggest situations where they may not be able to resolve a conflict or problem. Ensure the students understand that when they are in situations that they can not resolve themselves, the responsible thing to do is get help. 6. Read the three scenarios in Question 2 and have the students write the name of a responsible adult they could go to if they have these problems to resolve.

Follow-up suggestions Review safety procedures for travelling to and from school; for example, not walking alone and sticking to public pathways where there are other people around. Identify the local ‘Safety Houses’ surrounding the school and the role these houses play in the community to help keep people safe. Make sure students are aware that you are available to them if they are in an unsafe situation with which they need help.

Activity links

Answers

Smoking ........................................................pp 26–27 Leave me alone!............................................pp 50–51 I need help! ...................................................pp 58–59 Who do you look up to? ................................pp 100–101 We can work it out ........................................pp 112–113

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Be prepared for the possible disclosure of sensitive information from students. If a student begins to disclose sensitive information in front of peers, prevent him/her from sharing anything further and schedule a quiet, conﬁdential time to continue the discussion. Depending on the nature of the problem, it may be advisable to invite a third party to witness. All sensitive issues should be handled in accordance with the school’s child protection policy.

Self-esteem

1. Yellow – a friend won’t share, your friends leave you out of a game, someone is being unfair, someone hurts your feelings, someone accidentally hurts you Blue – you can’t make a single friend, something bad keeps happening to you, you are frightened to go to school, you are lonely all the time 2. Answers will vary

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When it’s okay to ‘dob’ I don’t want to share my lunch with you.

Well, I’m going to tell the teacher.

Sometimes, even when we are doing our best to get along, other people can choose to behave badly. This can be frustrating and hurtful. When it goes on for a long time, it can slowly make us very unhappy. There are times when we should tell an adult and times when it is our responsibility to work out a problem.

1. Sort these problems into two groups by colouring those we should work out in yellow and those we should tell an adult about in blue. a friend won’t share

something bad keeps happening to you

you can’t make a single friend someone hurts your feelings

your friends leave you out of a game

you are lonely all the time

someone accidentally hurts you

You have the right to feel safe and happy. If you don’t feel safe and happy, it’s time to get help.

2. Write who you would get help from if you had these problems. A bully is threatening to ‘get you’ after school.

A family member or family friend is hurting you. Your friends are teasing you and leaving you out.

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