Comics
12 the Racquette !"#$%&$'%() *')%+#)!+,"#-
Freshmen, Winter is Coming
September 7,2012
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Good morning Potsdam! This is my last year at the Racquette and in my advanced age, I’ve learned a few things about what will hap pen this semester. There will be a lot of freshmen advice columns, read them! But know that mine su persedes the others. So if there’s a contradiction, you should always refer back here. Now there are some things you’re absolutely going to do. You’re going to drop your phone. It may break, so don’t be stupid! Chances are it’s a seminew phone and still under warranty. Ship it home or take it to the Verizon store in town. This way, you won’t have a broken screen for two years. Also, my phone’s newest glitch is that the battery doesn’t exist anymore. So it !"#$%#& "'(& )%**#& +%& ,-"))%./& 0#& .% quired” as it uses up the battery to stay on for hours. I feel that this was an inside joke or possibly a cause of great arguments between the soft ware and hardware engineers. You’re absolutely going to do something stupid like throw your phone. But in case it’s worse and you don’t know what to do, here’s three tips. Stop. Listen. Buy ice cream. That’s right, ice cream! It’s an amazing cureall that I’ve used at least once to save my life/rep at a party. It also makes girls hap pier in the short term! Long term: 1$%/2**& #"/& 0)& ,+"3%#& )$%+& 4")56& 1$%'& /782**& #"/9& ,#7& #)7:& %")0';& 0<%&<.%"+56&1$%'&/782**&=;$)6&1$%'& you’ll give her make up ice cream and the cycle starts anew. You’re absolutely going to gain weight, unless you’re an athlete or go to the gym 4 times a week. Which all healthy college aged stu dents do. But in case you start no ticing a beer belly, the best way to stop it is to cut back...on soda. I put on the classic 15 in one semester, next year I cut out soda and demol ished that weight. Like a boss. You’re absolutely going to skip class. This is natural, but if you don’t keep track or skip on the wrong day, like a test day, you’re facked. Two strategies you can use are to never skip, or keep a skip schedule. These have worked the best for me in the past. Also, if you’ve skipped too much, you have a few weeks to withdraw or S/U a class. S/Uing is to pass/fail a class and the grade won’t be recorded. I didn’t learn this until I got my new adviser sophomore year, so learn from my mistakes! P.S. Wow almost didnt write anything here, maybe next time I’ll do that to trip up the copy editors!
www.theracquette.com
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