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Frigging in the rigging, Rena and Xena Double standards of the Rainbow Warrior Princess It’s been a big week for Derrick of New Plymouth. He had Lucy Lawless clinging to him. At least that what I read in a newspaper.
www.heartland.co.nz Ph: 07 578 3212
It’s not every day that a big star shows up for a bit of hypocritical grandstanding. Xena, after her recent disrobing on Spartacus, will be herein referred to as Loosey Drawless. It does make us wonder why New Plymouth got so lucky. They get an oil drilling ship with a hottie actor in the rigging; All we get is an oil spilling ship with rotting lamb joints. I love it when these actors/singers/artists climb onto the environmental bandwagon and expose their incredibly transparent double standards. Just as the Dixie Chicks had a say on how the President should wage war and run America; and Robyn Malcolm trying to tell Mr Key how to run NZ; so Loosey has used her fame to further convince us that the rich and famous are in fact, as shallow as we always suspected. All that’s missing now is Keisha Castle-Hughes advising us on family planning, relationship counselling and good housekeeping. We like Loosey doing what she’s good at. Acting. Looking sultry. Falling out of a toga. Wearing very little, while dealing with the forces of evil. In fact, she can come to my place and smote the demon anytime, her toga would look even better in a crumpled heap on the floor…but that’s enough steamy imagery, some of the RR research team are panting. There’s an attitude among some of these ‘stars’ that makes them think that being a great singer or being able to recite a few corny lines while swinging a very big
is inundated* with more letters and photos. So here are a couple of the best received this week. Keep your photos coming, we’re all getting a chuckle from seeing Kiwi creativity at its best. Sun Media owner/editor Brian Rogers
knife, or simply having a great arse, that somehow qualifies them to know a lot about…well, real things. They spend their lives in a fictitious haze, barrelling around the world in jet airliners, burning through copious amounts of fossil fuels, belching tonnes of CO2 into the air; living a rampant, consuming lifestyle that none of us mortals could ever imagine – then turn around and piously tut-tut over oil drilling or war or starving children in a desert. Where the hell do they think their lavish lifestyle and jet fuel comes from? Mung bean extract? Petroleum products are required not just for the obvious fuels, but the manufacture of so many millions of items that everyone uses daily, from plastics to antiseptics, shoes, fertilisers, heart valves, anaesthetics, refrigerants… you name it…and even Loosey’s luscious red lipstick.
The first is from Adrienne Huizer, who says her husband has been gluing new sandal parts onto her Teva shoes for the last four years. “We grab any ones found abandoned.” Adrienne says this will continue until the uppers wear out.
Grandiose lifestyles
Talk about double standards. The affluent and grandiose lifestyles of the Hollywood set that Xena and the film industry embrace, flies in the face of any environmentally-conscious reality. In the case of Loosey, there’s a particular irony, since she appeared in a commercial for Shell in the 90s –
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWoojruPpCE
Oh dear, we do seem to have one set of standards for our bank account and another for the rest of the peasants. Loosey, get off your high horse. When I see you growing your own tomatoes, riding your bike to the studio and the film makers and billionaire backers get off their customised 767s and Lear jets and lead by example, then we might give you some credibility. In the meantime, stick to the toga and leave poor Derrick to do his job.
More ingenuity
In other news, we’ve had another overwhelming* response from you ingenious Kiwis. Just when we thought the well of clever ideas was running dry, our mailbox
This letter, from the guy with the coolest name we’ve heard this year, AJ McCae, of Pongakawa Station Road, Te Puke: “This is how I rebuilt my scooter after the handle bars snapped off and the back wheel wore out. I replaced the back wheel with the bottom of an office chair and I made new handle bars out of some old wood. Good for 360 degree spinouts and bunny hopping, but not much good to ride in a straight line.” Nice work, AJ. We’ve a prize pack on the way. Send in your examples of creative Kiwi ingenuity, email brian@thesun.co.nz or post to Rogers Rabbits, Sun Media, PO Box 240, Tauranga, 3140. *Translation of “overwhelmed” and how responses are rated in the media: Swamped = 5 responses. Overwhelmed = 3 responses. Underwhelmed = Dad texted. Inundated = 2 responses. Unindated = 0.
Parting thought:
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
IMPORTANT STUFF: All material is copyright and may not be reproduced without written permission of the publishers. Opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the publishers. The Weekend Sun takes every effort to ensure the accuracy of all published information however will not be liable in any way for errors or omissions or the subsequent use of information published. The average cellphone carries more bacteria than a toilet seat. Under SOPA, you could get 5 years for uploading a Michael Jackson song. That one year more than the doctor who killed him. The lion used in the original MGM movie logo killed it’s trainer and two assistants the day after the logo was filmed.