A Higher Level of Care
Through the Eyes of a Caregiver
J
ude Hughes describes her parents as the perfect couple: “She had the operations, and he had the mechanics.” It wasn’t until her mother passed away unexpectedly that Hughes and her siblings realized there were deficits. Her father, Matthew Pelletier, had always been spry and independent. But now, he was becoming quite forgetful. Hughes recalls a turning point when she was driving behind her father after church. “He went through a stop sign and a red light,” she says. “And, he didn’t even realize it.” On the advice of doctors, Hughes and her siblings had the very difficult task of addressing their concerns about his driving. Then they discovered he wasn’t eating the meals they delivered daily. He became weak and he fell. “It all went downhill fast,” Hughes says. “We didn’t know what to do. We didn’t know if we needed to place our dad somewhere.’’ Hughes had heard of Embracing Age, a membership program through Franciscan Companies that provides the support services needed to remain living independently for as long as possible. She met with Mary Gualtieri, MS, an elder life specialist with Embracing Age, who guided the family through the process of caring for their father.
Member of the St. Joseph’s Hospital Health Center System
Embracing Age member Matthew Pelletier spends time with his daughter, Jude Hughes, at the Inn at Menorah Park.
“You have no clue what you’re doing. The family was questioning, ‘Where do we go next?’ But, knowing Mary’s there, being a resource and a support system, is invaluable,” Hughes says. Pelletier couldn’t safely remain at home, so Gualtieri helped the family decide on the best option. They settled on The Inn at Menorah Park where Pelletier can receive care 24 hours a day. Hughes says the decision was stressful, but the correct one. “You don’t have to feel ashamed—like you’re putting your parents away some where,” she says. “There is that fear, though. You ask yourself, ‘Am I doing the right thing? What if he’s mad at me? How am I going to get through this?’ But, with the support from Embracing Age, I know that when it’s all said and done, we did the best job we could. Down the road, that will give us comfort.”
Hughes only wishes she sought out Embracing Age a few months sooner, rather than waiting until a crisis occurred. She says the experts at Embracing Age can help prevent crises before family members end up in conflict. “When I think of Embracing Age, the one thing I think about is calm, rational and sane support,” she explains. “This is a real community resource and, whether you like it or not, you’re going to need it. People think they can handle it. But you can’t. And you have help right next door!” Embracing Age is located in DeWitt, NY, and offers companions, transportation, light housekeeping, home repairs, spiritual care, home health aides and more. For more information about Embracing Age, call (toll free) 1-855MYHELP2 (1-855-694-3572) or visit www.EmbracingAge.org. l
Suite 100 333 Butternut Drive DeWitt, NY 13214 Phone: 315-458-3600 Fax: 315-458-2760 www.franciscancompanies.com
28 caring Connection
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St. Joseph’s hospital Health Center
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spring 2013
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www.sjhsyr.org