[SSEXBBOX] MAGAZINE #2: IT’S COMPLICATED
[SSEX BBOX] Magazine is the tangible manifestation of the [SSEX BBOX] web documentary series. [SSEX BBOX] expands consciousness by examining and challenging two dimensional, archaic and obsolete understandings of sexuality and gender.
sexu 2. IT’S COMPLICATED SPRING 2012 ox t he b t of u o y ali t TABLE OF CONTENTS 07 WHAT IS [SSEX BBOX] ? 08 12 FUCK FOR FOREST An erotic, non-profit ecological organization. 24 14 DOSSIE EASTON Co-author of The Ethical Slut talks about Jealousy. 17 TRANGENIALER Alternative event on CSD (Christopher Street Day) in Berlin. 30 34 SLUT WALK Turning forward â€“ back to a combative feminism? 38 SPIRITUAL POLIAMORY I used to believe that the world would be a better place if everyone was polyamorous. 18 42 [SSEX BBOX] PARTIES Sﾃグ PAULO Photos by Priscilla Berttucci / Sendi Morais SAN FRANCISCO Photos by Ana Grillo/ Livia Santos / Nudefy Me SPIRITUAL POLYAMORY 12 Illustration by Clinton Andor MYSTIC LIFE IS AN AUTHOR ON PERSONAL AND SPIRITUAL GROWTH, AS WELL AS A FORMER THERAPIST. HE ENJOYS SHARING CONCEPTS FROM SPIRITUALITY AND PSYCHOLOGY THAT HELP INCREASE WELL-BEING (IN AN ACCESSIBLE WAY). HIS BOOKS, ARTICLES AND VIDEOS CAN BE FOUND AT HTTP://UNIFICATION.COM I used to believe that the world would be a better place if everyone was polyamorous. I loved to imagine a Utopian society in which there was no ego, no fear, and no childhood wounds. However, I’ve come to learn that it is important to acknowledge where one’s comfort lies, especially in regards to how one wants to experience intimacy in relationships. I used to believe that people would be benefiting themselves and their partner’s growth if they forged ahead into polyamory, despite any personal fears. However, I can see now that my lust to be polyamorous was much more present for me. This lust for polyamory made the desire to be with other people pressing. I have come to realize that it is important to take into account my partner’s feelings and sense of pacing. I suggest that anyone who wishes to have clarity on their path to polyamory ask themselves, “Is there any unfinished business with my family, friends, or other people in my past, and if those people are still alive, am I courageous enough to bring it up?” In our socialized world of rituals such as birthdays and holidays, it’s tempting to avoid bringing up any past hurts because we want to make things comfortable. In a culture in which Facebook is becoming increasingly popular, it’s tempting to “water down” what we share to the point where nobody in our “network” feels uncomfortable. However, if we don’t confront the pains of our past, MAKING FRIENDS WITH JEALOUSY BY DOSSIE EASTON For the past 40 years I have been studying, reflecting on, writing about, and practicing therapy on the subject of living in sexually open relationships and dealing with jealousy...Few therapists have had experience with clients who explicitly wish to unlearn sexual jealousy, and there has been little research on the subject (see Clanton & Smith, 1977 and White & Mullen, 1989 for some earlier work in this area). Photo by Ellina North INTERVIEW WITH STEVEN BECKLY BY CLARISSE MÉRIGEOT AND PAULINE MAGNENAT CANADIAN PHOTOGRAPHER SHARES HIS NEW LOVE STORY WITH THE WORLD AND SELLS HIS BOYFRIEND’S BALLS FOR MONEY Steven Beckly is 28 years old. He takes pictures of the man he’s madly in love with, his new boyfriend Dylan, in a compulsive way. Not only does he think the whole world will be interested in witnessing the passion they are sharing but he’s hoping people will jerk off while looking at his butt. He is kind of an exhibitionist even though he refuses to admit it and he doesn’t want you to tell his mom about it. So who is the guy in all your pictures? Tell us everything about the two of you. That gentleman is Dylan, my boyfriend. We met on the Internet last year, exchanged about six emails, met in person at a friend’s art opening and have been together ever since. He loves Woody Allen and I think he’s the most annoying looking person in the world but we both want to move to Paris and live happily ever after. I take his picture all 18 the time. He claims he’s shy, but a shy person wouldn’t do half the things I ask him to do. What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done together? We’ve taken a lot of pictures before and after sex. Not a lot during, though. Off camera? He was at work and horny so I went to his office and I gave him a blowjob. It was fun because his boss was right next door. now and with another person. I don’t think either of us fully realized how risky it was at the time—putting a relationship under such pressure and scrutiny when it was so fragile and new. It could have very well broken us up. But that was what attracted me to do the series, I guess—the uncertainty of it all. Do you consider them a family album or works of art? For the most part, I consider the work to be fine art that happens to be highly personal photographs, but people can appreciate them in whichever way they want. I don’t care, really. Isn’t it selfish to think that your private life can interest someone else? I, myself, am not so into it, actually. Are you serious? (laughs.) I don’t think my life is interesting to other people, but I guess the ideas of love and life and relationship are interesting because everyone has their own feelings and expectations towards those things. What do your parents think of your personal and artistic life? Have they always been supportive? They are supportive as they can be. They don’t really understand that people can make a living out of art. Their conception of work is a 9-to-5, getting a pay cheque every week, vacation pay and benefits kind of idea and anything that differs from that is completely bizarre to them. They’ve really made the effort to understand what I’m doing, so I can’t really ask for more. They’re from China. They surprise me a lot, because they have very traditional values towards some things, but can be incredibly liberal with other issues. What did they think of the photograph of Dylan’s balls and the balloon? They’ve never seen it and I think both Dylan and I want to keep it that way. Not so surprising, I guess. For more information please check : www.stevenbeckly.com COVER PHOTO SHOOT PHOTOS BY: PRISCILLA BERTTUCCI DAY WITH A GAY FEATURING TOM CARNITA TEMPRANO BY ANTONE MARTINEZ I kicked it with Tom Carnita Temprano to find out what a day in his life looked like. This boy has a spark that keeps the fire bright and warm in SF’s queer community. Tom can be found helping candidate John Avalos get elected for mayor of SF, spinning 45’s at parties like Hard French and Day Time Realness, flyering stop lights, shops, and bars, shooting hoops with his homies, getting heavy on some sweet tea vodkas, and dancing his heart out with his pinkies curled out, all the while saying hello to every other person that crosses his path....PHEW! Needless to say, Tom is one busy fella. It’s hard to go a week without seeing Tom speeding past me on his bike, or finding him lighting up the room of some party. Tom truly is one of San Francisco’s best friends. Here’s what a day in Tom’s life looks like: 28 NON-MONOGAMY: A HUMAN INTERNET FOR COMPASSIONATE PAYLOADS BY MAYMAY The Dalai Lama once said, “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.” But today, as environmentalist and author Paul Hawken observed, “goods seem to have become more important, and are treated better, than people.” Faced with the existential threat of this mounting tension, our species will be forced to shoulder the challenge Jeremy Rifkin imagines we can accomplish: “extend our empathy to the entire human race as an extended family, and to our fellow creatures as part of our evolutionary family, and to the biosphere as our common community,” or perish. 30 Photos by Frank Socher SLUTWALK IN BERLIN TURNING FORWARD – BACK TO A COMBATIVE FEMINISM? The words of a policeman in Toronto (“women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized“) and the trials against economist Strauss-Kahn in New York and anchorman Kachelmann in Germany made clear to feminists all over the world: The existing legal system is not reliable when it comes to justice for victims of rape and abuse. On August 13, 2011 a “Slutwalk“ was organized in Berlin, a demonstration for the freedom to dress without being victimized or discriminated against. Feminists protest against a system that plays down sexual violence, abuse and harassment, a system that puts the blame on the victims. 34 Photos by Manuel Kaufmann FAMILY PORTRAIT PROJECT Photos by Andrew Printer Chris, Jason and Tony: Chris, Jason and Tony have lived together in a neighborhood called Normal Heights for 2 years. Chris is bored with the relationship and thinking about moving to San Francisco. Keith, Vaughn and Dax: Every Sunday Keith, Vaughn and Dax clean a different room of their home. They live in a neighborhood called Normal Heights and have been together for 10 years.